Life Lesson #457 I've Learned

If there is one thing this silly little blog has taught me, it’s that I am not alone. I have friends of friends of friends that have shared; and I have had people that I have never met reach out, email and comment. What started out as a simple coping mechanism for all the negative energy in my life, has evolved into something I look forward to doing.

For lack of a better reference, it’s mine. Kind of like my flower gardens were when the kids were small. I'd always look forward to some "me time" when I could work away at them in the evening. It was fun. All season long, I would be changing it up. Inserting colour and contour; so at the end of it all, I provided a delightful visual reward, along the front of our home for all to see.

I remember that time in my life fondly. Seems like forever ago, probably because it was. That was then, and this is now. Once again reminding myself that I can’t go back, I can only go forward. Lord knows, I am the first to raise my hand and acknowledge that is easier said than done.

Lessons Learned In Life!

Why? Part and parcel because in the blink of an eye the past can become the present. Which in turn starts the vicious circle over and over again. 

Once jolted back, you inevitably arrive at the “I have to figure out what I really want” card. I hate that card. 

That card, combined with the "is this as good as it gets" question, has caused me more personal angst than I care to admit.

If there’s one thing the last couple of years have taught me is that at the end of it all you realize it just isn’t about you. After all is said and done, it becomes crystal clear that it’s actually the opposite. It's more about everything and everyone around you, that’s what makes up your life. 

Though I understand that one has to make themselves a priority, there is no need to shut everyone out of your life in doing so.  I am a firm believer that it doesn't have to be lonely. After all, you can't change who you are and what you need to be happy. That why it's called "personal happiness." 

It's a journey, a fact finding mission per say, to which I am completely convinced that no matter how hard you look you'll never find a Hollywood or fairy tale ending. That "grass is always greener" thought process? Has a three month euphoric effect max! 

At the end of it all, even if you’re lucky enough to find a tower and a damsel; you’re still going wake up in the morning, there’s going to be shit to be done, bills to be paid, and no matter whom you choose she'll end up bitching at you just the same. That's just the harsh reality at hand.

I remember reading somewhere that people don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. You my friend, know better than most, that I am ME. How crazy is it that I know you'd find me remiss if I didn’t literally cover off all four!

With number one officially checked off my list; my hand, my ear, and my heart are waiting. I will always love you and Good Luck. 

I hope you find what you've been searching for...

Seems I Have Reached The Middle

Mother never told me there'd
be days like these!

I was telling a friend this week that “when you can’t sleep at night it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream.” I joked that "you can imagine my surprise when all along I thought I was waking up because I thought I was having hot flashes!"

Joking aside, last night was awful. I didn’t sleep a wink. I had to physically get up twice because my entire body was drenched. It’s unlike anything I have every experienced before. Lack of sleep leading to exhaustion, combined with some unexpected anxiety, had me sick to my stomach all morning.

As a result, I missed my morning appointment and I have spent the day watching movies. I don’t have an appetite and I have been "flashing" on and off all day. I don’t have a fever but it’s late in the day and I am still unable to sleep.

I'm lethargic, irritable, as well as emotional. I can feel it. I hate it and I just want it to stop!

I haven’t really researched what is going to happen to my body over the next couple of years because let’s face it; I don’t feel middle aged, and I certainly don’t act it. Today has been a bit of a wake-up call telling me that this is something that is officially knocking at my door and I most definitely have zero control over it.

Truth? This morning I was actually wondering if my summer of self-discovery in 2012 was just my body ramping up in preparation to start shutting down. The thought of that does worry me. I know I am not ready, but if I am honest with myself, I know over the last year there have been certain subtle changes. There have been some physical changes as well as some changes in mindset. All I suspect are part of the process. I guess I best start reading to make it as bearable as possible.

I watched four movies while tucked into the love seat at the end of the bed today. Hope Springs is about a couple that go into marriage counselling. Something's Gotta Give is about finding love later in life. And Something to Talk About is about marriage in fidelity and how a couple over comes it. The last was 40 Year Old Virgin.

The final had the greatest impact on me from where I am at this very point in my life. Poor Steve Carell. He waited an entire 40 years to get laid; only to marry someone and he's a minute and a half away from a mid-life crisis, which is to be directly followed my menopause. AND she made his sell all his shit on EBay!

POOR Bastard! That movie isn't a comedy. It could very well be the single biggest tragedy of this century.

Just keepin' it real Peeps...

Who Knew? Zack Knew That's Who!

Let me start by clarifying something very important. That fifteen years ago I would have never anticipated this happening but I have evolved into a very structured person.

I honestly wish that I was still spontaneous but I am not. I use to be; matter a fact I have witnesses to those very fun times. I guess it just seems as I have gotten older, I have folded like a lawn chair.

That said, I had a really great day.

Not because I was expecting a "bad day" I just expected a “same shit, different day Monday in January in Muskoka" is all. As I sit here this evening, I am pleased to report that my day was anything but boring. It was genuinely pretty amazing.

Not only did I get to chat with my two favourite phone friends (they know who they are) but I spent my lunch hour with one of my very closest friends. NO, Smartie didn’t fly in from Whitehorse for lunch but this was a close second.

Zack Smith and I have been friends for what feels like forever. We both have a mutual love of golf and we are very like minded; our spouses are very similar in nature, our children are the same ages, so naturally it's a great friendship fit. Only problem? Not a single one of us is spontaneous!

I should mention that as a couple they've been front of mind this past weekend. They just lost their five year old purebred dog to leukemia last Friday; and just like Tony and I, their dogs have aided in the coping with their empty nest.

Then, out of the blue, he text me this morn and invited me for lunch. It’s not that a lunch invite is abnormal for me but in all this time that has never happened. Honestly? I almost said no; because let's face it, I'd brought my Monday leftover lunch to work. Staring at my phone, I realized that something must be amiss for him to unexpectedly invite me to lunch. Simply because he's far more structured than I'll ever be.

Spontaneity aside, I can`t help but wonder if my lunch invite came because he knows we have always had the ability to make each other laugh. True to form; for an entire lunch hour we were in the total comfort of our friendship. We laughed and laughed and laughed. 

I love to laugh. I need to laugh. How cool was our spontaneous euphoria? VERY! Hope we do it again soon. I wonder if he'll give me more notice next time?

Hey Dad… Guess What I Found?

Thanks again Habitat Restore!
Taken: January 12th, 2013

After my Mom died, that following summer Dad and I packed his house up of any extras he felt he wouldn't use. Because he wasn’t ready to donate the items, we loaded up his car, and shipped the boxes to the lake.

The next time I arrived at Camp, I noticed he had personally saved the gold painted Petro Canada Olympic glasses from a life in storage. He had neatly placed all of them on the shelf with all of the other mismatched glassware. 

From that very moment, those glasses became the ‘Official Holder of Rhondi’s Camp Spirits’. Over the years, one by one they slowly broke, until there was only one left.

When Dad died, we had his girlfriend help herself to whatever she wanted, as they had been partners on and off for almost 20 years. I remember being emotional when she took MY very last glass. 

I mean that in jest. We never really noticed that the other used the same glass until there was only one left. So you can imagine those last few summers at Camp had that particular glass on the hot seat.

It started late one afternoon when I spied her pouring herself a glass of beer. In the whiniest voice imaginable, and at the top of my lungs, I yelled "Daaaaaaaaaddddddy! She's using my glass!!  We all howled with laughter. That moment in itself was the start of it all, it was on! I really do recall being disappointed at the discovery it was gone; but the matter a fact was, it was just as much hers, as it was mine. 

When the Habitat Restore opened here a few years ago I was given hope. I’d see several styles of the same series of glasses being donated but never the one that I used to love at Poppa’s Camp. I am almost embarrassed to admit that my quest had me check the Restore every single Saturday morning for over a year.

My hard work paid off because I eventually hit the mother load. I was estatic when I finally discovered a set of four of MY glasses in amazing condition. Two stayed home and two made their way to Orillia Lake. The two at home suffered a brutal death by dishwasher so one was borrowed from the cottage. The third dishwasher homicide had only the one at the cottage alive and well. It too eventually got broken. That was the summer of 2010.

I stopped going to the Restore every Saturday but when I did happen to stop in I would always check. Last Saturday there was only one. It was very well worn; and by its faded gold logo, I can tell it had survived a life in the dishwasher, only to find its way to me.

I know it's a silly story but it's true. Every time I open the glassware cupboard and see it, or pick it up and move it, I'll think of my Dad. I can hear his voice. The sound of his laughter. Most of all I hear the shuffle of his feet in his slipper two sizes too large.

I have tears in my eyes as I type. All over a silly little glass. Who knew? My entire family that's who!

Jaysen, Jukebox, Loretta (using MY glass), Goob,
Poppa, Shannyn & Tony with Staccs
Taken: August 1995

Weight Loss Comes from Everywhere

This time last year? I was hugging a loveable bed hogging beagle with great anticipation of a very luxurious island vacation. Where am I at this year? I tend to spend the majority of my time chastising a very destructive yellow lab pup, and this week my tentative island vacation time was cancelled.

OK, in The Bossman's defence, cancelled is a strong word. Postponed is more like it. Luckily he and I discovered the conflict before any of "the very hard earned money" he pays me was ever spent! Said conflict, combined with the fact that I have no desire to fly out in the next minute and a half, resulted in my choice to postpone. 

With travel front of mind (for whatever reason) I was looking at the bazillion pictures I took from last year’s vaycay. I had some very mixed emotions when I returned home. That said, just like anything, anyone's perspective can change with time.

I was 20lbs heavier in 2012. I am 500lbs lighter in 2013.
Taken: February 27th, 2012

When it comes to my trip to Jamaica last year; my opinion today is not what it was a year ago, I know it shifted again six months ago, and after looking at my pictures this week... again it's further evolved. 

I remember being wound tighter than a top when the plane landed and it took me more than four days to decompress. (A series of upsetting emails had me pre-occupied and as a result I couldn't sleep.) 

That said, in chatting with an electronic friend this week, I was adamant that I didn't want to return to Jamaica. Not because I didn't love the island, the people, and the experience; but  because I didn't want to become complacent. So many places to go. So many people to meet. You know the deal. 

After thinking about it further, I know that I really do want to return. I want to return to the island without the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to return without the need to have all the answers by the time I return. Most of all, I want to return with a true desire to unconditionally enjoy my surroundings. I will promise to leave work behind as well we any bullshit at home. I'll simply board the plane in a sundress and flip flops and kick some serious ass!

It's such a cliché when one says that "hindsight is always 20/20" in this case it is. I'm not going to blame my eyesight but it appears in the last couple of years I'd developed a squint. At first I thought it was just old age. Turns out I just needed to change my focus.

Peace Out Negil. You haven't seen the last of me yet!

Lights Camera Action!

Puddin' checking out some cottage movie options...
Taken: January 6th,2013

Believe it or not, I am an "extreme" movie buff. I love to watch and collect movies but most of all I love to talk movies with a like minded addict.

That's a strong statement but I think I come by my obsession honestly. All these years later I can still remember my first movie experience. My mother took me to see Disney's The AristoCats. I was five. 

From a very young age my mother had me well versed in the different movie genres, so I guess it's  only fitting that I received my very first kiss in the Norwood Theatre.

To be clear, those were the days when the Norwood was a "classic movie theatre." You know, the fact that you could hear the film rolling in the projector, combined with the obvious, which is it wasn't three individual bowling alleys!

Anyway, when my Dad accepted a job in Muskoka in 1972, we had the Norwood and a grand total of two and a half channels on the television set for movie entertainment

When more television channels eventually followed, TVO (TV Ontario) was by far my mothers favourite. Elwy Yost & Saturday Night at The Movies, immediately became "our thing". I still remember seeing North By Northwest & Roman Holiday for the very first time, and as a result to this day I can never resist watching a black and white film.

I have no problem admitting that no matter how old I get, I will always love to curl up in bed and watch certain movies.  My favourite flicks just seem to comfortably wrap their arms around me and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They always have... and I know they always will.

How do I reward the unconditional love my flicks give me? Gifting! Be it a movie ticket, a video tape, a DVD or a download; Santa, the Easter Bunny, as well as birthday parties have always had my children tarred to the same walking stick I carry. They are movie buffs.

I find it interesting that and just like their mother, and my mother before me, we all get hooked on (and sucked into) a really great story!

Rhondi & David's Excellent Adventure

Well, the text came in late morning. The Seven Sisters Islands were supposedly still frozen; if I wanted/had to get over there, air boat was my only option. I called my quirky sidekick (on this mission) Dave, and together we hatched a plan. 

Photo Cred totally goes to Dave Kaye and his extra long reach!
Taken: January 13th, 2013

Neither of us had ever travelled by air boat so I was quite comfortable admitting that I was a bit nervous. 

Nerves may have been the case at the pier but they totally disappeared once I was comfortably tucked in and we pulled into open water.

Two words? VERY COOL!

Because the sound of the engine's so loud we had to wear headsets. I am sure they are meant to double as hearing protection, because you could instantly hear and feel the power of this yellow machine.

Once we were moving I was trying to listen to the guys talk about the mechanics of this neat thingamayjiggy I was moving in; it's unique versatility (giving Chris and his wife the ability to live on an island year round in Muskoka) but I was preoccupied. The breathtaking view surrounding me had my undivided attention.

I love fog, and heading toward the Seven Sisters could have been a scene from a movie. It wasn't only the amazing view that made today memorable. It's the fact that I would never take the experience for granted. Hell, I never take any experience I have for granted... but today was a very personal mission as well as a rewarding one.

With our mission accomplished (and my guided tour complete) it dawned on me that this area of the lake has been David's home his entire life. That said, as the leader for the next generation of his family business, I knew our limo ride had him curious. When walking together across the front lawn, I him heard yell to our chauffeur... "Do you make a lot of these trips?"

Thanks Chris Hoag. You're the BEST!
Taken: January 13th, 2013

To which I instantly interjected “Not really... He only does it for very desperate women that beg him really late on Friday afternoons!” 

Seriously, if I had to pay a dime for every man I ever had to beg? I’d owe at least $1,765.90 from last Friday alone and one other other dime.

Ya curious? All I am going to say is that I know I’ll never see him again. That, and the fact that in this instance my glass is more than half full.

Why? Because the lads loss is obvious. I'm keeping his dime!

I Am Blessed To Have A Doug!

Thank goodness this work week is over! I’m never one to wish my time away but this week was absolutely brutal. I had a big problem. Everywhere I turned I hit a roadblock. Every roadblock I faced I hit a dead end. If another week like this comes around before the next Halley’s Comet, it’ll be far too soon.

For every difficult person I have in my life...
I know I have a Doug!

I don’t think I am alone when I say that I have people in my work life that just grind the friggin’ crap right out of me. 

Not the “Oh my God, that's totally HOT” kinda grind; rather they tend to be the “totally unreasonable and I stopped listening to you at hello” kinda grind. Yup, the '80's Patrick Swayze vibe is definitely not the grind I feel when it comes to these folks!

Glass half full? I am elated how my work week ended and I am pleased to report that I can take something positive away from today. I am an extremely grateful gal.

Rhondi's Coles Note Version:

I have to get to a boathouse on an island this weekend. It's January. In Muskoka. The water is dangerously open and must be respected.

When I started to call in my markers, I made my obvious phone calls. So many people tried to help but I was shocked to find that the people I thought would unconditionally help did not. It was those that had no vested interest in my plight that moved mountains (or ice) for me today. Not because they had something to gain, but because they knew if the table were turned, I would do the very same for them.

Short story long? A perfect stranger came to my rescue today. Someone I have never met before, and they are transporting me with their Airboat this coming Sunday afternoon. The most amazing part of my story is that this stranger is an acquaintance (four layers removed) from the original call I made for help. 

Chris is helping me (not because I wasn't above begging but) because my original loop was created by a specific person within an unbelievable network. Seriously, because of that person, everyone just kept paying it forward to help him, which in turn was helping me. That statement right there honestly illustrates just how well respected my friend is.

With my eyes wide open (and a much better feel for the people I have surrounded myself with) I want to shout out a personal thank you. Thank you Doug. Thank you for being you. Most of all, thank you for being my friend.

I love ya Bud! 

I'm Not Superficial - I'm Practical.

After a relaxing and rejuvenating day yesterday I managed to sit down last night and focus on where I want to take my winter trip. I know, I know, you’re going to say “you just got back" but fortunate for me, a VERY unexpected Christmas bonus, paid for my dogs play date on the ocean. So, the money I had so diligently saved for that can now be put to something I know I really need... A rockin' hot tan!

WOW! Just right there... Could I have sounded anymore superficial?!? I think not!

I know what I want & I want what I know.
Taken: February 28th, 2011
Negril, Jamaica

Seriously, as you know, I’ve never been an island hopper. In fact, the only reason the money was spent on Jamaica last year was because I received a substantial performance bonus in the form of a travel voucher (from a supplier, not my employer).

Believe it or not, I honestly try to not to spend money I don’t have. I always try to pay myself first and sometimes that’s really hard to do. 

I’m not a shopper per say (online or otherwise) and except for the indulgence of a really great concert ticket I am a very "stay within my means" kinda gal. 

I do have a couple of rules I live by. I try to never go into a grocery store hungry so that I don’t over spend. I make lunch & dinner menus every Sunday so that there is never any waste. And I pay bills once a week so that I don’t get hammered at the end of the month. I don’t think of myself as frugal, I just think of myself as practical.

Back to the idea of a trip; truth of the matter is, in all aspects of my life, I am a really picky person. It's as simple as I know what I want and I want what I know. So while surfing the internet last night I came to the realization that the whole "last minute thing" may not be the perfect fit for me. I’m not entirely sure I can get on a plane and hope for the best without doing the research prior. I did a lot of reading before I chose a resort last year. Truth of the matter? I like the fact that my 2011 travel experience had me brushing my teeth using water from the tap.

That may sound kinda petty but food and water quality are extremely important to me. For one week a year I love the idea of basking in the sun with a book, enjoying really good food, and minimizing any/all risk of getting ill. Just so you know, I'm not entirely closed off and without an adventurous side. For the first time in my life last year I took the leap and enjoyed authentic Jamaican jerk chicken.

Because chicken is a personal favourite, I know for a fact there will be even more chicken served this year. Guess at this point, I'm just not sure on which island that’s going to happen, nor exactly just how it will be seasoned. Maybe this year I will go for sweet rather than spicy. 

Best start reading on how specific Caribbean Islands prepare chicken and go from there. I'll keep ya posted!

Somethings In Life Will Never Add Up...

Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt really alone? You know, where certain things are happening around you and it’s feels like déjà vu? You think you’ve been in the scene and heard the dialogue before; yet hoped it was only a bad dream? You just really wanted to stop the ride and get the hell off? Well that was me last night and it was awful.

Because let's face it
No matter how many times
you try to do the math...
somethings will never add up
the way you think they should!

I absolutely hate when my day turns on a dime. You know, when a really great day changes instantly to a “ya gotta be f*ching kidding me" evening! 

I am honestly sitting here, fourteen hours later, and I’m still shaking my head and rolling my eyes. 

With my marbles clanging around my cranium; I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what you do, and how hard you try, you can’t please all the people in our life, all of the time. 

I get that it's human nature to want to but trust me you can't. I’ve done the math. Long version. Yup, after over two years of calculation, I know firsthand that it’s completely and utterly impossible. 

With this big storm cloud over my head I guess the one big question this morning is why is it that after all these "life lessons" I boast about learning that I still can’t comprehend why certain situations (and people for that matter) bring out the worst in me? I guess the even bigger question for me personally is... Do I care?

Glass half full? I'm not going to dwell. I am going to dig out my showshoes and head over to the golf course. I'll go alone. I'm not afraid to be alone. Two years ago I could have never fathomed the thought of that. Whatever, guess it just blows that at the end of the day, one word describes my mood best this morning. 

It starts with F and ends in UCK. Trust me peeps it’s not firetruck! 

There's A Fine Line Between Love & Hate

 "To forgive is to set a prisoner free & discover that the prisoner was you." 

- Louis B. Smedes

Well, my first day back at work for 2013 was a good one. 

Though I would have rather stayed in bed and watched Sex In The City reruns all day, I did the responsible thing and hauled my sorry fat ass into work. As expected, it started off slow and relatively uneventful. In fact, I recall wishing my first cup of coffee was a five hour energy drink!

Unexpectedly, about an hour in, I received a very sincere email. After reading it, I resigned myself to the idea that perhaps “it was time.” I’ve had a couple of things lingering over my head and one thing in particular just kept resurfacing. So, after them reaching out over my vacation, as well as a heartfelt email this morning, I decided to finally deal with it.

Today I did... and it feels good!

It’s hard for me to admit that I have had people betray me and I have let them. 

Some I have forgiven because I knew they couldn’t help themselves and some I’d knew I would never speak to again. Why? Because for all intense purpose, their betrayal unconditionally helped me decide that they didn’t deserve to be in my life. 

My situation today was one that I thought was the latter. With that in mind, here's the million dollar question... How do you know when it’s time to forgive? At what point do you bargain in good faith and call a truce? 

When I was growing up my mother use to warn me that “there’s a fine line between love and hate…” The other side of her philosophy was to never hate anyone because hatred consumes far too much energy. She'd say, "Rhondi, it's takes a lot of energy to hate someone” and she was right on all counts.

My decision today most certainly wasn't an epiphany. It was like we had decided that together we'd peel away the layers of an onion (and it took us all day to to it). The more the emails flew back and forth, the more we both realized that the feelings of hurt were not only mutual; but felt that blame belonged to the other, contributing the severity of the hard feelings. 

Because of the effort we both made today I have to have faith. I guess faith is the price you have to pay to forgive someone. Call me quirky if you must, just don’t ever call me Ma’am.  Seriously, I mean that. Call me Ma'am and I'll kill ya!

Peace Out 2012. It's Been A Slice!

Peace Out 2012
...Gotta make room for my new pal 2013
Taken: January 27th, 2012

As expected, after a couple of glasses of wine last night, I folded like a proverbial lawn chair. 

Unable to keep my eyes open, I ended up hitting the sack by about ten o’clock and I was out like a light. 

As I crawled into bed it felt amazing. I've never been so happy to sleep in my own bed in my entire life. You know what they say, "it's great to go away... but great to be back at home!"

This Christmas break was definitely one of reflection for me. This past week it became very evident quickly just how far I’ve come on 'my personal journey' within 2012. 

As I spent time walking on the beach, I fully appreciated (and understood) where I have been this past year and how I actually arrived at today. Not only did I reflect on the past but I am also pleased to report that I took a good long look to where I’d like to be in the next few years. Not superficially or materialistically, but me personally as well as my career professionally.

When the kids lived at home we would have our now famous Sunday dinner together and true to form they would be asked their high and their low for the week. At times we were able to upgrade a low into something silly with laughter (usually at their fathers expense) but a high was always just that... Something they were entitled to feel really great about! For fun, this New Years Day, I’ll task myself with the same exercise. 

My Beautiful Daisy Marie
Taken: Aug 3rd, 2011

My LOW for 2012? Well because most of the shit that happened causing my extreme pain happened in 2011, I’ll automatically keep it there, so not to pick the annoying and generally speaking 'haphazard scab'. 

That said, without a doubt my lowest point for 2012 had to be the death of my beautiful Daisy Marie. My eyes fill with tears even now just thinking about her. It’s been months and I still miss that great big ball of fat and those big brown eyes. Nothing could have ever prepared me for that loss & the toll took on me. 

Low addressed, leaves me with my HIGH for 2012.

The feeling of my first monster drive with my super sweet new golf clubs crossed my mind. Heck, even the first back dive I accomplished in over a decade was right up there. Short listed was definitely one of the couple of new friendships I made throughout the year; but when all is said and done, I have to say it was the leap I took to live at the cottage for the summer that wins the final nod. How crazy is it that I wanted it sold figuring that I would never be able to enjoy it on my own? Yet I did! I literally found myself last summer. My eight week stint put everything into perspective and aligned all of my lanes and overall attitude about life.

The Summer for Me...
no hair, no makeup, just me!
Taken: July 11th, 2012

My summer experience offered extreme clarity to me; as a mother, a daughter, a lover and a wife. For the first time in my life I discovered and embraced who Rhondi was and who she is. I so desperately needed that. It was not only cathartic, it was liberating and life changing.

Those that know me well know a couple of things to be true. I am a very goal oriented and I'm anything but a ‘stuff’ person. I’ve always been an extremely hard worker and I married a man with the same work ethic. We do what it takes to get it done and it’s as simple as that. That formula, combined with being in the right place at the right time, have us living comfortably. Seems we don’t need much and it’s a good thing because that’s exactly how much we have.

It’s about the simple things in life for me. All I can say is thank God I don't have to pay for laughter and sex.  For if I did? I fear I'd always be broke! Glass half full? Makes no matter, because either way I'd be at least 15 lbs lighter and I'd always have a great big smile on my face!!! Happy New Year everyone. May 2013 be the year you want and need it to be. Cheers...

Signed, 

With my love and our laughter... ME!

Is Online Renting Like Online Dating?

Let me start by saying that I hope everyone reading today had a great Christmas. I know I did, but not for the conventional reasons you're probably thinking. I had a great Christmas because it was relaxing and I didn't have to fret about what to buy people. In turn, I was elated that I didn't have to force my excitement opening a reciprocal gift bought out of sheer obligation. Did manage to surprised with twins with a couple of nice things but I did it for exactly that... the surprise. 

Taking in the sites with the Pups!
Taken: December 27th, 2012

I'm not going to lie. I was worried about taking this amazing trip that I am absolutely enjoying. Probably because I knew I was burnt out and had been for quite sometime.

Upfront, I knew that bringing the dogs would present challenges and it has; also knew it was nothing we couldn't handle, which we have.

What I didn't expect, is that the pets would travel better than the twins, which they did!

From the time the trip was put on the table the dogs were in the mix. Hell, I decided to take the pups before I ever mentioned the travel option to the twins. I had hoped they'd want to come with but boarding the dogs was never an options. After all, they are a very big part of our family.

So many things run through your mind when planning a vacation and a pet-friendly vaycay is even more complicated. I never took into account what was needed for them to cross the border, nor the stress involved with renting a place sight unseen online. Suffice is to say when renting, you are forced to take a leap of faith, before you ever leave home. Then, with great angst, you hang all of your hopes on a couple of low resolution photos. Seriously, after scanning websites for hours at a time (for the perfect place to land), I can totally appreciate online dating and the faith it must involve.

Just for fun, on Boxing Day we ventured to the condo that I had cancelled. I was apprehensive in cancelling because I was very familiar with where it was located. We'd stayed in the area previously (a decade ago) and the photos looked amazing. As we turned off Ocean Blvd I could see the buildings. My heart sank until we pulled to the front of the property and there was a very crowded trailer park between the balconies and the beach. All I could do was sigh with relief.

Our Perfect Christmas Eve Sunset
Taken: December 24th, 2012

Searching for a house online is like agreeing to go on a blind date. I've only gone on one blind date, I was 20, and his name was Jeff. I remember Lori telling me that when he asked her boyfriend about me he offered three units of measure...

"Is she HOT?  Is she cute...? Or does she love her parents?!"

Our Beach House is Africa HOT. The cancelled condo? She definitely loves her parents. Matter a fact, she's is sooo butt ugly that she's still living at home and most certainly will never EVER get laid!!!

Canada's Waiting 4U Darin... Seriously!

Darin Pierce Designs - Muskoka Divison
2013 Summer Staff Meeting

So tomorrow is the last workday before we break for Christmas. I've never been much of a Christmas elf but when it comes to my workplace team, there's always been a festive camaraderie. We have a dancing 5 foot snowman at the door, the office is nicely decorated, and though we never have a gift exchange, we always have an Open House to wish each other a Merry Christmas. It's great fun but this year, due to logistics, Darin can't make it.

Darin is an Architect. The firm he works for (in New Orleans Louisiana) was hired to do some design work for a build and a renovation happening on Lake Muskoka. Just like my boss, his boss delegates things; as a result, Darin and I got delegated to work together.

As fate would have it, within the last six or seven months, we've chatted almost daily and become acquainted (over a boat load of laughter and and a sprinkle of frustration). Due to some extenuating circumstances, the design process was arduous. So much so that one day he mentioned "after all this work I am never going to get to see this boathouse!" Instantly, I responded, "yes you are, because I am going to bring you to Muskoka, to see it for yourself, when it's complete!!" What he doesn't know is that I was dead serious.

He and his significant other will be our welcome guests. We'll share Orillia Lake with them, then take them to my friend David's place on Millionaire's Row in Beaumaris (so they can experience what a true Muskoka summer home is all about). Just for fun? We'll hop in a boat and cruise by the projects we've worked on so he can finally see them for himself. 

I would be remiss if I didn't touch on the picture of us that is attached. When it comes to a gift, the old saying has always been "it's the thought that counts." I racked my brain on what to do. I wanted to do something special for Darin; so as a result, I commissioned this illustration of us sitting on our dock, and I did it for a couple of reasons.

The first being that I wanted to wish him a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Secondly, I really wanted to formally extend our 2013 Canadian invitation.... and lastly, I felt the need to send him a very special three word sentence.

Thank You Darin!

Remember This...

I am the first to admit that I have put some really big shoes on my children's feet and expected them to dance. They were never the coolest footwear on the market, nor were they designed with the intent they be the easiest to manage. (I can also assure, that my three were forced to endure said shoe ugliness, with zero bargaining power.)

Admissions aside, the hideous shoes they were expected to wear were always woven from love. A pure and honest love with the intent that they'd help protect them through their upcoming journeys in life.

Never lose sight of this..... No matter what.

About seven years ago I bought a small piece of canvas art that read, "Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life".

I recall my son asking me "why I would hang such a thing in the dining room" and my reply was very simple.

Point blank, "you're leaving and you're not taking my credit cards." 

I feel I should share that when my husband and I started to build our life; he had a bed and a stereo, and I had a couch and a television, nothing more nothing less. Neither of us came from independently wealthy backgrounds but it made no matter. With our mutual focus, we managed to work hard enough, to scratch our way to the middle.

A tremendous amount of hard work had us fortunate enough to pay down our home and purchase a cottage in 1999. It instantly became a haven where we could shield our children from certain outside influences. A place where we could let them take off those big shoes I had so firmly glued to their feet.

They may have run barefoot at our new cottage... but that very first summer I purchased five fridge magnets. My intent was they be a constant reminder about life in general. All these years later, the cheesy 2 by 3 inch dollar store magnets remain. They read as follows:

a) "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."
b) "When arguing with a stupid person make sure they aren't doing the same thing."
c) "Always tell the truth it will give you far less to remember."
d) "Treat people the way you want to be treated" and
e) "Smile... it improves your face value"

As their teen years came to fruition (and shit happened) a sixth was added which read "Cleverly disguised as a normal family"

No matter how I word it, nothing prepares one for being a young adult. Hell, I can speak first hand when I say, nothing prepares one for being a parent! All I can say is that no matter who you are, the time will come when you become responsible for whatever shoes you choose to wear.

On that note; it's been my experience  (in the shoe department) life offers us a couple of choices. You can buy yourself a pair of shoes because they look great on someone else, or head to the cobbler downtown and design your very own pair. I can promise that when complete, the designer pair will feel totally amazing to wear and you will always be able to call those shoes your own!

Life lesson #101. Big choices are never easy but at the end of the day they are exactly that.... choices.

Keep Calm and Carry On!

After an unexpected turn of events last evening; I ended up in my home office, with my Sirus radio cranked to the 70’s on 7. I don’t know about you, but no matter how freaking shitty I feel, music never seems to fail me.

Exhausted and asleep by nine thirty, I was wide awake from two until four this morning watching Love Actually. After falling back to sleep, I woke bright and early to discover one hot mess. The freezing rain outside was brutal and very dangerous; so text messaging over coffee, I decided my day off would be a bit of a chick flick/closet cleaning/get rid of a bunch of bullshit marathon.

Overall it's been a very quiet day. Every once in a while my eyes would get damp; but the blowing of my nose came primarily from the dust bunnies that I captured in whatever closet I was cleaning. Jumping into something big like rearranging furniture or reorganizing every single closet in the house is cathartic for me. It brings me a sense of balance as well as feeling of accomplishment. It's something I usually push myself to do especially if there happens to be a dark cloud hanging over my head.

As you can guess, yesterday was a productive day that very unexpectedly turned downright crappy. That said, I am proud of how I handled my latest challenge just the same. The glass half full part of me is impressed that it produced a bit of ah ah-ha moment. Which is something positive right?

Who knew after all these years, when I would raised my voice (with a compliment of tears) the people closest to me automatically presumed that "she's mad"? When that very statement was verbalized last night, for the very first time in my life, I confidently admitted what I thought was obvious; “I’m not mad… I'm hurt!”

I found this sign at a Vintage Store this summer.
Taken: August 2012

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I really don’t like being a bitch. In my mind, I have already approached something from a hundred different angles before I get dark (with a standard house volume that is far too loud). As you can expect, with my excess volume comes a painful razor sharpness to my words.

Almost 24 hours later all I can offer is an apology. I’m sorry if you missed my stellar performance last night. It wasn't my best and at the same token it wasn't my worst.

All I can say to those in attendance (for my one night limited engagement) ... REMEMBER IT.

Why? Because this theater is officially closed!

Pass Me My Shades & My Walking Shoes

YES this was rented for Dottie & Puddin'...
& YES they will have their own bedroom!
Destination: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

So after seeing Dave last Sunday, our Christmas plans changed yet again. 

For instance; in the eleventh hour we've gone from a two bedroom condo (on the third floor with a balcony), to a four bedroom home located directly on the beach. 

The guys at work were all like "WOW" but it’s the off season. Why travel that far and not truly enjoy the surroundings? Everyone making the trek should be happy right? Then we agree, both the two legged and the four legged travellers deserve to enjoy!

Though I'm not looking forward to the drive with the dogs; I'm ecstatic that I will get to eat my lunch outside, on the deck, with my sunglasses on in December. I'm bummed that my hamstring is still bugging me, so I don’t suspect I’ll run. What I do know is that I will walk for miles and miles. I’ll walk with the dogs and I'll sing. I will sing every single showtune I know, as well as the 400+ song I have downloaded. I'll decompress, and I know I will relax.

Not going to lie, I am seriously vibrating at the thought of my increasing my natural light intake. Until the Muskoka days start getting longer, I generally feel lethargic and at a little bit lost. As a result, I am constantly ambulatory at work. I wander from window to window, like a drug addict looking for a hit (or in my case a glimpse of natural sunlight). It's so bad for me this time of year, that when I wake in the morning, the first thing I do is turn all the lights in the house on. 

Not sure if I'm alone when I admit that I need/crave the natural light. I suffer so badly that if it's a bright day, I walk at high noon in hopes of helping my disposition. I walk to work in the dark and I arrive home in the dark. I find the days really long and my patience really short. I willingly admit it’s time, and that I really need a fix. 

As bitchy as ever, I guess the bad news is that I’ve just about had it. The good news is I said just about. The great news is I’m gonna make it. By the time I return in January, the slopes will be open, and the white snow will be brighter than the beach sand I left behind. 

Makes me smile and say "take that long Muskoka December days"... TAKE THAT!

What A Difference A Year Makes

It started with my daughter calling me at the office. When I was buzzed and told "...that’s your daughter on the phone" I instantly knew something was up. Sure enough, she was worried about her twin brother. It’s hard to explain the connection they have. They are very different people but share this really cosmic bond.

Doing what was requested, I instantly called David. When I asked “are you okay” I knew by his voice he was not. I automatically worried he needed money. I've offered a number of times to help but he's always turned me down. He can be overly proud that way, so I try to respect the whole “I’m gonna make it on my own” attitude. He's become very independent and has always been some what stubborn

2011 PRINCE Concert Weekend
Taken: November 26th, 2011

What a difference a year makes;  not to minimize that he wasn't proud a year ago, but I sense he feels that he is expected to handle this particular challenge alone. 

To prove my point, I posted this amazing photo. 

My hope is that it reminds him what a significant weekend this was for me personally, and just how lost I really was. 

I want him to remember how easily he carried me and that I am forever grateful.

Like most things in life, there is always calm before a storm. 

This time last year, David was my chosen lighthouse keeper. He was my beacon, my sounding board and my well respected friend. 

Has the last year offered highs and lows for both of us? Absolutely! Did we make it through? We did, because we love and support each other. Truth of the matter is this week proves we  ALL unconditionally support, respect, and love one and other.

I hope my post makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I hope that when he hugged each and everyone of us this morning he felt our love and energy. I hope in the next two weeks he gets plenty of rest in preparation for our trip. 

Why? Because I am going to kick his ass on the golf course and seriously brag about it! What? You think he doesn't feel the same way? He most certainly does. Hardest part for me to admit is that I know my buttocks is going to get served to me on a platter! 

Bring it GOOB! Just bring it my friend !! 

A Beautiful Three Part Harmony

For a number of reasons, today was one of those reflective days when I asked myself where has the time gone? I gave birth to Anthony James in 1990; Staci Elizabeth and David Earl arrived two minutes apart, two years later. Thank goodness I am one of the fortunate few that has an amazing life partner, and we've happily raised our children together.

Saying 'arriving at today was a lot of hard work' would be an understatement. Their Poppa lived three doors down and was a saving grace. The added bonus was my best friend (their Auntie Andrea) lived next door, and treated them as if they were her own. They say "it takes a village to raise a child" and with the help of our village (two decades later) our children have harmoniously grown into something more than siblings. They have become life long friends.

Staccs,  Goob & Jukebox (aka: JdotP)
Waiting in the rain at the Canada's Wonderland Gate
Taken: July 2009

Their relationship wasn't always a perfect Broadway musical. Like any siblings, they had their own set of challenges.

Growing up, Staci always seemed cast as the icky squeaky wheel. First and foremost it was because David idolized his older brother Jamie.

I remember the three of them sitting at their plastic picnic table (ages 6 & 4) and halfway through lunch, David felt the need to share. “I love you Jamie” he said... “I love you too” was Jamie’s immediate response. Without a flinch of hesitation, Staci grabbed both their plates and threw their sandwiches onto the lawn to the dog.  Like any human dynamic, when it came to this trio, three was more often than not a crowd.

As they grew older, their interests changed. They began to favour a two on one offense. (At times, a two on two,because if her brothers made her cry; Staci always had the luxury of her father stepping in to help.) Through all those years, no matter how bad the fighting got, a truce was always called as we enjoyed the ritual of our "Sunday Supper".

As part time jobs were introduced, all three were expected to be home no later than 4pm every Sunday. From at least 2002, Sunday evenings were OUR time. We would laugh and vent, as well as talked openly about pressures and drama we had going on. To this day, I still miss setting the table and having the dining room occupied every Sunday night.

With Sunday dinners a thing of the past, it amazes me how they've learned to appreciate and love one and other for who they are individually. They have become so closely woven that they have found their own balance. It warms my heart to know they unconditionally compliment and effortlessly support each other no matter what...

In my opinion, they have become, the perfect three part harmony. 

I’ll Never Give Up!

Strategy or stupidity? Talk amongst yourselves...

When I woke this morning I cranked the tunes, jumped in the shower, and knew I was going to have a really great day.

Seriously... I felt so gosh darn good that I decided no matter how many lemons were thrown firmly at my head, I was going to make lemonade.

As a direct result? I arrived early for work, I ran a series of solid morning meetings, and I sat perched at my desk wearing a great big smile and uber-positive outlook the entire day. Also pleased to report that I made a couple of large pitchers of PINK lemonade (just to prove that I could take my self imposed challenge to the next level)!

OK. For those of you not in the loop, I am an extremely driven, not to mention goal oriented person. On any given day, my feet work as hard as my mind, and twice as fast. I really do love a challenge. Lord knows I've had my fair share (of every single type imaginable) in the last eighteen months.

For most of those challenges, I was smart enough to put on a helmet. For others, my helmet surfaced about half way through the situation at hand. Regretfully, a couple went all "MMA at the ACC" and for those memorable few, we are all left with some broken bones. My glass half full is pleased to report that after all this time some of those injuries only ache when it rains (others may always offer a twang of pain but only time will tell).

With a great day under my belt, I am living proof that life will always offer constant challenges. All I can say is thank goodness I can totally rock a red helmet; but for my own protection, I am thinking I should just start wearing that puppy 24-7!

Let The Festive Party Season Begin

20' Christmas Tree at Red Leaves
(The white decorations are full poinsettias
plants set directly in this amazing tree)

When I fell asleep Friday night my eyes were heavy and my feet were sore. When I woke in the morning, I was amazed by a couple of different revelations.

Firstly, I was shocked that I was actually able to stay up past midnight dancing. Secondly, I was impressed that I could physically start my day without the aid of a walker and/or wheelchair. Using personal history as a benchmark, I know for certain that I had a really great time.

This weekend was the annual MBA Christmas Gala at Red Leaves. Every year it's the very event that officially starts my festive party season. From the time my purple lace dress landed downstairs, it was perfect. Lisa and Jennifer definitely know how to throw an amazing event!

I can 't help but brag about how great an organization this is. I have an innate respect for the tightly woven group we are, not to mention the good we do within the industry. This year, I was grateful to meet those attending for the very first time, but sad to report that some of my favorite MBA members had conflicting engagements. They were missed. 

As I sit here and type, I have to ask. Am I the only one that I can't believe that yesterday was December 1st? Today was our annual Santa Claus Parade and it poured rain outside! No matter what type of precipitation Muskoka's experiencing, my life is crazy busy right now, and I'll have something going on until the Christmas break. 

I am away next weekend on "festive business" but my next dance-a-thon is set to take place Saturday the 15th. I'll give you a heads up; after I attend that Xmas event, I won't have the ability to blog for a couple of days. Oh, and zero photos will EVER surface, you can take that bet to the bank. What can I say? I love FUN. It's how I roll!

Happy Holidays Peeps...

Friendship License Expired!

I hate to toot my own horn but I consider myself to be an exceptional friend. When it comes to the friendship I am going to openly discuss I can't hold back. TOOT TOOT goes Rhondi's horn! 

As your friend, I can be heard saying “I’ll give you the shirt off my back, cross me and I’ll kill ya!” It’s all in good fun but in this particular instance death would expel more energy than I have readily available for such a "friend".  With no energy left, I’ll just go on the record saying that I’ll never feed that expired parking meter again! In fact, our friendship license has permanently expired!!!

It's nothing done in haste, my very good friend and colleague Brad Jones warned me over and over about this person. In fact, Brad helped me see the light last March. Unexpectedly, this person resurfaced in my life the long weekend in July. Knowing it wasn’t a healthy situation, (and my BFF Colleen was furious with me because I had opened up dialogue again) I cut our dysfunctional cord a second time the middle of August.

FRIENDSHIP LICENSE

All of that on record, checking email for the “daily thought” my friend Richard sends through, I was shocked to find an email titled “YIKES”. 

I am in a really great place. I have my life exactly where I want it to be. The last thing I need is someone chirping in my ear telling me how they are superior to me athletically, intellectually, and just all around better looking. "See You Next Tuesday?" Yes you are. Being a part of my life? Not even remotely an option!

There you have it. I have officially sent my first specific blog message to a very specific person. Dude, without further adieus, this post is for you. GET LOST! 

Puddin’ Up The Christmas Tree

OK Dottie here's the deal...
Stairs to sofa, sofa to stereo, then we hit the mother load.
This tree's goin' DOWN!!!

Hath hell frozen over?

I decided the first week of January this year that I'd never put up another Christmas tree EVER. Let's just run with the fact that if I had to start calling my favorite festive decoration a “Holiday Tree" I was finished. I refused to give into the darn politics of it all! 

As silly as that just sounded, I will recant and admit that I've officially folded like a lawn chair in the festive tree department. Last night, I drug a small 48” fibre optic artificial tree out of storage. I set it up downstairs on the wooden stereo that plays my 78 RPM records. My wee tree is nothing special but it does looks great lit. I haven’t decorated it yet because I knew I would have some "on the fly scenario specific testing" to complete prior (aka Project Christmas Puddin'). 

Puddin' is a great dog she really is, but as a puppy she gets bored easily. As an example in one week alone; she chewed a brand new pair of never worn (to die for) Liz Claiborne shoes, a pair of never worn (comfy) shoes for work, as well as the second pair I bought to replace the first pair consumed.

She gobbled the cords on my straightening iron, my hair diffuser, my laptop, as well as 90% of the items in my makeup bag. Guess I am embarrassed to report that I didn't assess that she was tall enough to cherry pick things off my dresser and the dining room table...but I ultimately fooled a fool. I've installed very tall shelving and began closing my bedroom door every single morning!

Puppy or not I'm glad I decided to put up a tree. I am pleased to report I just moved the project tree in question to nice wooden desk by the laundry room door. Scenario testing complete. Let the decorating begin!