N IS FOR NOT

 At the beginning of my A-Z challenge this year, I came across a poem by Erin Hanson. 

As an aside, I began never worrying about how I am defined by others after my father died.

Yet, the poem is so relatable by so many, I immediately knew it needed to be my 2023 letter N. 

To my electronic friends... Stay strong and always know your worth!

Reading (with some friendly company) at Poppa's Camp
TAKEN: Lake Temiscamng ~ Summer of 1996

NOT ~ by Erin Hanson

You are not your age,

nor the size of clothes you wear,

you are not a weight,

or the colour of your hair.

You are not your name,

nor the dimples in your  cheeks,

you are all the books you read,

and all the words you speak.

You are your croaky morning voice,

and the smiles you try to hide,

you're the sweetness in your laughter,

and every tear you've cried.

You the songs you sing so loudly,

when you know you're alone,

you're the places that you've been to,

and the ones that you call home.

You're the things that you believe in,

and the people that you love,

you're the photos in your bedroom,

and the future you dream of.

You're made of so much beauty,

but it seems that you forgot...

When you decided that you were defined,

by all the things you're not.

A IS FOR AMBITION

'JUST SHOW UP EACH AND EVERYDAY' ~ W.J. Schneider
DOT's PIC TAKEN: March 31st, 2014

From the April A-Z Blogging archives.

This was originally posted on April 1st, 2014.

Just so we’re clear...

I’m not talking about the kind of ambition it takes to get the hell out of bed the morning, after you and your best girl friend decided to solve World Peace until the break of dawn on the cottage dock. I'm talking about your internal drive that literally comes from within.

You know, the passion and desire to always keep growing, which in turn has you moving forward and never giving up. The kind of ambition that's really easy to talk about and extremely hard to replicate.

Example: Just look at my dog Dot...

Not even remotely a hope in hell of catching the snowball that she's set her sights on but never once did she not try her very best. 

I guess you can say she trusted the process to reward her, which in her case, (with my shares in Purina Milk-Bone) it always has. 

I am ambitious like Dot, yet she and I differ. You see, I am more an analyst and somewhat a tactician. 

I'm sure it's because I am goal oriented but most of all, I am certain it's because I truly enjoy working toward something great.

What can I say? One post down and twenty six to go. Thank you so very much for having the ambition to finish reading my very first of this challenge.

Dot and I (and the next twenty five letters of the alphabet) are truly grateful that you're reading!

MOOSEKOKA MUSING

Just hanging out at the cottage with my big bad bull Moose. 
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 2018

I was driving home from work last week and I quickly called one of my closest confidants. I thought I had forgotten to thank them from paying for lunch. 

Once connected via Bluetooth, I was reminded that I had in fact already thanked them for lunch, and they in return thanked me again for listening. What followed was quick and very candid conversation about the makings of a meltdown. 

I can speak from experience when I admit that when I finally submit and actually melt down, the emotional fallout can be nuclear. The bigger tell is that final straw is never usually the root cause,  it's just the particular moment housing my last semblance of personal strength when a cherished trust is broken.

Because most know and read me as a full blown extrovert, you may be surprised to learn that I am actually a very private person. I tend to listen far more than I share, and when I do share, it’s generally about generic life experience rather than anything of a very personal nature.

As a people pleasing lass I can count on one hand the number of lifelong friends I have and I firmly believe I've had more than one soulmate thus far in my lifetime. 

You know, that certain someone you have an immediate connection with the moment you meet and that connection is so strong that you feel you've known them your entire life. You immediately know they're special and meant to be in your life - which describes my aforementioned lunch date perfectly!

Soulmate status update aside, I guess my musing point is that in all my years I have learned that many things come and go. Things like people, possessions, pets as well as my patience for personal and professional politics and shell games. 

Though I have never been one for looking back with regret, I have always tried to forgive myself for not having the foresight to see something bad coming my way. I guess you could say that is one of the systemic problems with my rose coloured glasses I wear with such pride.

Those suckers can make a brown bull moose charging me head on, appear in my favourite shade of red.

Even worse? 

They always seem to have a smile on their face!

#TrueStory #seephotoabove

THE ELECTRONIC TRUTH

Last week I got into a powerful and somewhat emotional disagreement via text message with a a person I would generally classify as an electronic friend. You know the type, those that claim to be your friend, yet go out of their way to only communicate with you via text message or social media.

It’s been my experience that those specific types of friendships generally evolve with people you once worked with, or acquaintances you met though someone else that somehow want to maintain an unconventional personal connection.

The latter are those that surround the periphery, generally checking in to see how you’re doing, sharing photos and tidbits of mutual interest when they have a minute. Some, not all, can be exhausting and definitely time consuming.

That said, my disagreement was with an electronic peep that was a combination of both. They were an interesting character, and I knew early on that they had a personal agenda toward me within the construction industry. So much so, that they generally only came a texting when in need of something; flaunting their classic M.O., that they 'missed me'.

Because I've always been in tune with the above specifics of said person, over the last several years there have been times with large lapses of any communication, primarily because they'd always end up breaching my trust. With each instance, I withdrew further and further away from them. Yet, for them, once they'd manage to reinstate any contact they felt they were in the position of unconditional access to my network, not to mention my positive albeit sarcastic & somewhat entertaining electronic energy.

Does anyone else reading here have some serious trust issues? Because I for one, most certainly do. As I reflect inward, I’m not sure what they stem from, but I can tell you they truly exist. So when the right circumstances align, I find myself devastated. A while back I remember reading a  text book analogy on the subject, being: “Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again.”

Though it saddens me to admit that after crumpling and trying to smooth over the same piece of paper, the years have taken their toll and I asked them never to contact me again. The reasoning for my request was that they offered me advice on sorting out some of my issues, stating ‘it’s what friends do’. After sleeping on it Friday night, I realized that I only had one issue. Singular. Them. To which I knew would evaporate by ending any future contact.

Look, we all know that good communication is tough enough face to face, rather than relying on your thumbs to bear the burden of any general message. That said, I worry each of my electronic friends will wonder if it’s them that I’m writing about. I can assure it's not. You see, I am confident the one I am writing about will never stop by here again.

Suffice is to say, I consider his aptly labelled ongoing 'issue'... officially resolved!

A perfect image to illustrate that trust is earned.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2nd, 2014

WILL THIS GENERATION MANAGE?

Well, I spent my morning doing the house budget for the next three months, as well as really analyzing the one I had in place for the prior three. The good news is the next three look outstanding. The last three? Absolutely, horrendous. Knowing full well there was more going out than going in, early-November I made a surprise announcement to my grown children: “The Bank... IS CLOSED!”

I should've done it this past summer and I have no one to blame but myself. Against any/all good judgement, I am the one that kept the 24 hour wicket open. It took a couple of very large dollar (hollow promised) 'I'll pay you back' incidents for me to realize they had no intention of doing so; so I finally shut 'er down.

A very necessary... But dreaded task!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 30th, 2016

When I think back, I credit my mother with a number of my character traits but there are two in particular I am grateful for as I muddle through midlife. 

She always taught me to pay myself first, which I do; and the second is that (from her wheelchair) she taught me how to structure/follow a monthly house budget. I still remember she use to make me type it out, after she passed I had a ledger book, now I simply use a formulated excel spreadsheet. Today, I offered to teach my daughter how easy it is; she agreed to try.

Budget mentoring aside, as I look at the next three months, I see some very solid savings into April. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was disappointed last fall to have to cancel my 2017 birthday trip to China. I worked extremely hard to save that money, and because I have always refused to travel on credit nor retirement savings, a change in plans was my only option. At the end of it all, I just keep telling myself that those dollars were simply needed somewhere else. Somewhere much more important. With a deep hope, that when transferred, they were truly appreciated. 

Now that my first quarter budget is officially done, I need to find my bottle of glue. Time to put that blasted piggy bank I decimated a few months back, back together. You see, many moons ago I went for the really shiny, pretty porcelain finished piggy, when my gut told me the practical purchase was the ugly plastic one with the key in its belly. Again, my own fault.

Now, where the hell is that glue!!

RISE AND SHINE AND SHE'S GONE

Yesterday was one of those forecasted rainy days that I'd been looking forward to all week. Got my indoor cottage chores done, got my in town shopping chores done, then headed to the salon and had my hair chopped off. Hold your gasps of disbelief, it's not like I ordered a number 3 razor buzz cut. Yet, my long curls that flowed to the middle of my back, are now the shortest they've been since 2012. No regrets here. I'm glad I did it. Just like in other areas of yours truly, I was in need of change.

At this stage in my life, I consider myself blessed. I knock wood because nothing is neither tragic, nor conflicted; though I will admit that some thing's been bothering me for an extended period of time. It was never a great big boulder in front of me, more an annoying pebble in my shoe. For whatever reason, I'd buried that annoyance deep, as well as any ability to deal with it. As part of this next wave of change, I am pleased to report that the pebble has been dealt with .

Like every single person that is reading this electronic journal entry, I have some very serious crap that is buried deep. It's taken me a long time to compartmentalize specifics (which is code for defining a personal coping mechanism) but it works for me. My epiphany was when I recently realized, that over the last 30 years, 25 of mine have been about seeking light at the end of the tunnel, and the last 5 of mine have been the real journey. Those were the years that have been spent learning how to embrace the light that has been chased so hard and earned.

Out of clutter, find simplicity. ~ Albert Einstein
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 11th, 2016

Speaking of light... I woke in the dark this morning, grabbed my robe and slippers, then headed outside to watch the sun rise. Bundled up, I went up from the dock, grabbed my camera, then snapped my photo at 7:08am. With my moment captured, I finished my coffee, packed everything up, and moved everything home for the season. Not gonna lie, it feels different this year, and finding the words to describe are hard.

If I had to find one word, if I had to choose only one?

I guess I'd just simply define it as... peace.

Y IS FOR YES-SIR-REEE

Just before my 50th Birthday.
TAKEN: March 2015

How To Feel Fab By 50

1. Forgive someone from your past.
2. Travel by yourself.
3. Quit the job you hate.
4. Find your personal mantra.
5. Conquer your biggest fear.
6. Treat yourself to something you really want.
7. Be a mentor for someone you know.
8. Make a fool of yourself without feeling embarrassed.
9. Stop apologizing for who you are.
10.Most of all... forgive yourself.

Life is short.

MY MORNING MUSIC MIX

For the second time in as many weeks, I had to put my gloves on this morning to head out of my subdivision to meet the Sweeney Meister to catch my ride. She’s willingly offered to come to the door to pick me up and drop me off but for me that's simply not an option. I absolutely love my morning & after work walks. As an FYI, the weather will be never an issue. 

A fitting music choice for this last day this morning.
(Earth Wind & Fire ~ SEPTEMBER)
CLICK HERE to watch, listen & enjoy!
PHOTO TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 30th, 2015

When I hit the pavement at 6:45am, you'll be pleased to know I'm packing better than Clint Eastwood in any Dirty Harry movie ever produced. Yup, my handy dandy shoulder bag is packed to answer to each and every weather mishap that my occur from my hair, to my make-up, and/or outfit in transit.

More important than that, each and every time I head up the drive (and shuffle my 600+ songs on my phone) my first music pick automatically compliments my morning energy level and mood. As quirky as it reads, that part of my routine literally defines how I prepare myself for my day. The more rested I am the more upbeat the song. Then again, if I’ve stayed up passed my bedtime the night before, I refuse to choose a song that has me lollygagging. I always pick something that will give that push to get me where the hell I'm going. 

As you long term readers know, I’ve never worked outside my sleepy little town, therefore I’ve never commuted. That, my friends, is no longer the case. Though I'm still lucky enough to get to have an amazing morning walk, I hop a ride in the coolest car ever. We laugh, we sing, we talk, and we totally relate to one and other; but that’s just the Sweeney Meister's dog Coop and I on the way to her dog sitter.... Otherwise, the car is completely quiet. NOT!

Joking aside HSW, not only do you make our morning travels bat shit crazy fun, they're both reminiscent and will always be memorable. As I progress through my career transition, I only have one word for you.

Thanks. xo

LUNCHTIME MARKET RESEARCH...

Initially, with rain in the forecast, I was all set to head into town last night and work from home this morning. Then, around supper time, I realized that Mother Nature was going to pull out all the stops and make it another good one. So she was a no-brainer for this cat; I was going to be getting it done from the cottage today.

LUNCHTIME MARKET RESEARCH... IN MOTION!!
TAKEN: JULY 13th, 2015

Working from here isn’t without its challenges. 

Because I have to tether to my phone to gain access to the internet (which is where I spend the bulk of my billable hours) I have to rise before dawn and make the most of my location and lulls in my Muskoka bandwidth.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it can be frustrating when you’re working with my tight deadlines. I don’t know about you but I absolutely hate being late. Matter a fact I pride myself on not being late, hence the frustration when my mobile hotspot gets bitchy.

Challenges or not, I’m always very conscious of the sheer privilege I have working from here. Not just because I love that it’s somewhat unconventional but because I know my husband’s sweating his ass off doing physical labour in the heat. He says he doesn’t mind but I think he’s just that good a person that he doesn’t mention there could possibly be the slightest stitch of envy. 

I am the busiest I have been personally since the summer of 2013. I’m not opposed to working at this level, I guess you could say that I am conditioned to it. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I wasn’t working this much. Wait a minute, that’s a lie. I’d find the time to get a much needed pedicure, I’d go to a salon to get my roots touched up (instead of doing it myself at midnight) and I’d start to golf again. 

None of those three will be happening anytime soon but they feed nicely into my goal oriented mentality. If you don't set them, you can't achieve them! I will say that as I was relaxing in the water at lunch today (completing some very important market research) my husband called to say he’d forgotten his bottled water. Out of sheer respect, two things happened. I never mentioned that I was in the lake, nor that I was secretly fantasizing about a glorious pedicure. 

Instead, immediately after our call ended, I hauled my ass back up to the cottage to make sure I had everything I need to prepare his dinner. Can’t have my lad dehydrated and starving now can I?

Glad we agree!

V IS FOR VIBRANT

My 2015 A to Z Blogging Challenge has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. The good news is that have I met and connected with the most Bloggers in the three years I have participated. Not only that, previous electronic friends have reconnected with me thanks to some of the topics I have blogged about. Which tells me my struggle for words was worth it?!

Anyway, in an effort to let readers get to know me a little better, I decided to pick a V word that best describes me. Though a few quickly came to mind, it was a conversation at lunch yesterday that made me choose the one I did. The comment was about how comfortable I am leading people. We talked about my level of personal confidence, which led me to my word of the day... I truly do greet each new day!

May your day be as VIBRANT as my disposition.
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 2012

Just look at my pup. I’m sure it’s the tone of my voice  & my words that had her in such a euphoric state. 

Then again, it could be that the person taking my picture was telling me to turn the volume down on my snow pants and Dottie is just helping them with their plight.

Either way, I vividly remember this day, which was one for the record books. 

Not only were my pants as loud as our laughter but my positive energy was taken to the next level by a solid dose of Vitamin D. 

Not to mention that I was spending the day with the ones that I love.

I KICKED NEGATIVITY TO THE CURB!

Right after returning from my holiday and just before Christmas, I made a couple of pretty significant adjustments. Knowing it was going to be a long winter, I made the effort to reflect on what was working for me and what was not. You see, I had finally decided to purge the biggest bullshit items from my life; realigning my positive energy and kicking the negative garbage to the curb. 

The process that followed wasn't unlike cleaning out your garage. Hard decisions had to be made with regards to what was going to be entitled to stay and what definitely had to go. Envision yourself standing among a bunch of generally cherished clutter, having to make hard choices. Do you select your favourite rubber boots that now have holes in the soles or your favourite tennis rackets (which no longer has strings, not to mention you no longer play the sport). That said, once I had resigned myself to my choices I felt relief. That was more than two months ago.

Well, low and behold, night before last, I get a text message from the oldest and most comfortable pair of rubber boots that I'd kicked to the curb. Suffice is to say, all of those hurt feelings came rushing back, only to have the ones telling me that I had made the right decision take charge. Suffice is to say, I don't believe our paths will cross ever again. Sad but true, I have no desire to feed that expired parking meter; and Lord knows they'll never make the effort.

Quirky sent me a tobogganing video...
Holy Snow in NASHVILLE Batman!

TAKEN: FEBRUARY 2014

Just like those once new pair of boots, over the years, I have been fortunate enough to meet people across the country and into the US. They easily found a window into my life but change in circumstance usually represented a change to our 'frenergy'.

Then, there's my Quirky Sidekick. He and I have created something (that I believe) few could ever replicate. What is the key? We feel the other is worth the effort. 

Let's face it, maintaining a true friendship as your life evolves and you change as a person is really hard work. I've tried to hold together certain friendships but it seems it's only the quirkest one of all that has truly made it.

I suppose it is because it's natural, truly unforced and most certainly... unconditional.

It's as simple as that!

FINALLY …A FORMULA?

It’s truly been a very odd week for me. 

The fact that I was giddy when I spent forty big ones on a natural Christmas tree last weekend left me a little puzzled.  Then, after independently hauling that sucker up the stairs, placing it in the stand without complaining, stopped me in my tracks. Even though I was struggling and frustrated, I still had a skip in my step up all those freaking stairs. It was so bizarre that I simply shrugged the incident off as euphoric delusion. 

Then, I awoke this morning and the mercury barely registered a mere -16C outside. I wasn't pissed off about it; which was in itself questionable. Instead, once I discovered the pre-dawn temperature via my tablet, I simply hauled my ass out of bed. Had there been cameras present, it really would have played out like a bad hair/ugly bathrobe episode of The Twilight Zone. So bizarre, that even Rod Serling would have been complaining about the script on TMZ!

I can’t believe the difference in my seasonal disposition since my amazing jaunt to the Caribbean. We've traveled at Christmas before but this trek was completely different. Since arriving home, my mornings have contained some serious gumption, which I have never experienced at this time of year. I love how rejuvenated I feel. I'm not going to jump up and down on a couch like Tom Cruise... but I just may shave my legs more than once a week!  Can I get a HELL YA?!?!

Enjoying the Pineapple Festival festivities
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 22, 2014

I guess my overall point is that a very old friend once advised me to "travel far enough, to meet yourself.." Who knew that once I'd complete my journey... Everything would be a fifteen minute walk and a five minute drive away.

Here's to officially maintaining rather than sustaining.

...In every single aspect of my life. 

SNORK-A-DOODLE-DOO

I’m the first to put up my hand and admit that I’m a pretty complicated chick. The dead nuts honest truth is that I have a list of things that I am deathly afraid of; and the dark is most definitely number one. It truly took me until my mid-twenties to understand why I'm so afraid of the dark. I  believe it stems from an instilled fear as a child of strange men.

Apparently, I am hardwired to believe that really bad men were lurking in dark corners waiting to steal me away from my family. Now a days, we teach children a “safe word”. In the olden days, you just simply frightened your daughters/children into submission using an overall fear of the unknown. 

My point is that when my 2011 New Year’s resolution of self-discovery began, I made a personal commitment to get back into shape (which would eventually give me the confidence to get the hell outta of an enabling shroud of comfort) and try new and exciting things. My intent was to leave the past in the past; and I must admit, three years later, I've definitely exceeded my personal expectations. 

My very first reverse Selfie.
SEE... I wasn't the only one needing a life jacket!
Taken: NOVEMBER 20th, 2014

My foray into snorkeling happened very unexpectedly. We were with Heidi & Brian in Negril Jamaica (Feb. 2012) and our day trip to Rick’s Café included a snorkeling stop. 

I remember when they announced where we were headed, I was both excited and terrified. I wanted to experience new things but this wasn't something I'd ever considered. All this time later, I'm glad I didn't back down. It made no matter that there wasn't much to see that day, I am still proud that I actually got into the water and persevered.

Well, this week, I actually enjoyed a real snorkeling day trip. (Like I always do, I researched the shit out of what the choices were and went for it.) Upon arriving to the first drop site I noticed people swimming freely in about 20 metres of water. The waves were high and the water rough, so I immediately began to panic. "I need a lifejacket" I blurted. I was literally shaking in my swimsuit.

Once I knew I was going to be offered a safety net I was fine. There was so much to see and so many vibrant colours that my brain wasn't sure which to absorb first. It was like I was floating on a bed of various marine life, yet none of them actually touched my body.

...Ultimately creating another very memorable moment for this somewhat quirky soul.

D IS FOR DOGMA

I have been surrounded by so much skepticism of late, I decided to blog about something that is in fact incontrovertibly true. I AM the crazy dog lady!

Puddin' riding high... while Dottie & I ride shotgun.
Taken: September 19th, 2013

I’d never had a dog as a child because my mother was a cat person. The first dog we ever got as a couple was when I was about to start my maternity leave with Jukebox. 

I thought, ‘what the hell; I’ll be home for 16 weeks, I’ll have time to train it. Seriously, how hard can it be?!’. 

Well, the baby slept through the night after three weeks and for the next six months I hauled my sorry ass out of bed in the middle of the night to let the dog out for a leak!

Though we've had very few dogs over the years, the two I have now truly have my heart.

For lack of a better saying, we are a pack. The kids tease me that the only reason they respect me is because I feed them but I also think they gravitate to me (before my husband or children) because I have a constant energy with them. The three of us seem to have a unique approach new situations. We do it together, calmly, and with trust.

If there's one thing I have discovered over the last couple of years it that you’re never truly alone when you have a dog. I would suffer so if anything happened to either of my girls but after all, if I didn't have them, what the hell would I spend my money on?

Like I said... D is for .... the DOG's MA!

...BAZINGA!!

A IS FOR AMBITION

'JUST SHOW UP EACH AND EVERYDAY' ~ W.J. Schneider
DOT's PIC TAKEN: March 31st, 2014

Just so we’re clear...

I’m not talking about the kind of ambition it takes to get the hell outta bed the morning after you and your best girl friend decided to solve World Peace until the break of dawn on the cottage dock. I'm talking about the internal drive that literally comes from within.

You know, the passion and desire to always keep growing, which in turn has you moving forward and never giving up. The kind of ambition that's really easy to talk about and extremely hard to replicate.

Just look at my dog Dot...

Not even remotely a hope in hell of catching the snowball that she's set her sights on but never once did she not try her very best. I guess you can say she trusted the process to reward her, which in her case, (with my shares in Purina Milk-Bone) it always has. 

I am ambitious like Dot: yet she and I differ. I am more an analyst and somewhat a tactician. I'm sure it's because I am goal oriented but most of all, I am certain it's because I truly enjoy working toward something great.

What can I say? One post down and twenty six to go. Thank you so very much for having the ambition to finish reading my very first of this challenge.

Dot and I (and the next twenty five letters of the alphabet) are truly grateful!!

The Inevitable Happened...

Whenever I'm stressed I flee in search of something I refer to as ‘snackage’. Wine gums are my favourite but I've never met a Toblerone bar I didn't like. With website deadlines looming around me, I got up from my desk and went on a mission.

Flash forward fifteen minutes. With the store counter loaded up with more than twenty eight dollars in junk food the inevitable happened. I ended up face to face with a previous customer: a great guy and an amazing builder. I knew from the instant our eyes met he was going to want to discuss my career change, which frankly is something I have readily avoided since the day I left my previous employ.

"Once you feel you know everything...
You're incapable of change." ~ ME

I must admit, though my employment lane has changed, I was truly saddened as my friend continued to express his frustrations. When he finally verbalized that he was no longer going to do business with my former company, I was both saddened and disheartened. 

I told him that I was sorry and that I think of my old boss every single day."You were a great team" was his response.

The Bossman (as I so lovingly called him) may have signed my pay cheque but my encounter with his customer proved that he was never really my boss. My boss was the amazing builder standing in front of me.

Truth of the matter is... "There is only one boss. The customer. And they can fire anyone in the company from the Chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.” ~ Sam Walton. 

And THAT BOSS told me he’d 'Donald Trumped' the Team I was once so very proud of leading. 

Not gonna lie, after I left him I cried. Not because I felt responsible for him leaving, nor because I could hear my old Bossman's voice hailing it all unacceptable. It was much bigger than that. My tears flowed because...

The sheer thought of what he was describing to me was just really very sad.

My Summer Season To Remember...

It snowed this morning. I walked in the dark and freezing rain yesterday, and this morning Mother Nature officially cried snowflakes. Just like that, my rain slicker was sent to the minor leagues; my wool coat, scarf, and gloves were called in to pinch hit.

Sunbathing with my Pups...
and a picture that was meant to be.
Taken: September 28th, 2013

As 2013 enters its home stretch, I am a little in awe of how fast it flew by. We travelled more than normal, then effortlessly settled into living at the cottage with the dogs.

It was the first time in almost 30 years we'd put ourselves first. Truth of the matter is, I have never worried less, nor enjoyed myself more.

I didn't care who saw me in a bathing suit ("don't like it, don't look" became my mantra) and makeup was nowhere to be found!

I surrounded myself with people that wanted to know how I was doing; not because they wanted something from me in return, but because they truly cared how the hell I was doing.

I missed my children. I missed them from a distance. Not enough to worry, yet enough to send them a quick text and say "Mommy and Dad love you..."

I grew. I evolved. I changed.

I think the photo I am sharing today is perfect. Obviously, it has far more meaning for me, than any of you.

It was our last sunny day on the lake. The water was cold, the sun was warm, and the sky was blue. You can tell by the detail in the lower portion of the photo that this is NOT a camera used for self portraits. For fun, I held the camera up just the same.

I heard the shutter click and the rest was history. When I got home, all the photos were crisp and full of detail... except the one I am sharing.

I was perplexed at how it could have happened but figured it was meant to be. From that day forward I knew; I had so much to be grateful for in the summer of 2013, no single photo would have ever done my season justice!

Now... Where the hell did we store our cross country skis ?!?!

I Think I Can? I Know I Can!

What a week. I am buried in paperwork and dreaming of the sunshine. I have a million things on my mind, and two million things to accomplish. What can I say? All it takes is a State of Emergency in our neck of the woods to get things rolling.

Managed to get the cottage opened this week and I am heading to my very favourite place by precisely 1:01pm today. Let see, other good news? I have made the executive decision to move in for the season the long weekend in May rather than wait until Canada Day. 

I am hoping to get some of the long overdue maintenance items crossed off my list. There are things I want to undertake on my own. Tony would help me, but I have asked that he to let me try and do the stuff on my own. He has agreed.

I'll be soaking in this puppy
by Labour Day!
Taken: May 2000

I can’t help but be excited about my extended stay this summer. I had so much to discover last year, and this year I have so much to accomplish. Even though it’s been a very difficult week, I have managed to start my list of "things to do" just the same. If I time it right, I should be able to get everything done before the leaves change colour two seasons from now.

What’s the one decision I’ve made that surprises me the most? I am going to fold like a lawn chair and finally get internet access out there. 

Not because I would be lost without it, but because I have to rip apart the ceiling below the upstairs bathtub (and repair a broken pipe) as well as refinish a very old aluminium bathtub.

...and how the heck will the internet help?

I’ll be damned if I am going to start ripping off rough sawn pine and tearing apart a bathroom without Google to help me put it back together!

Don't be silly. I was born at night. Just not last night!!

Walk A Mile In Peter's Shoes? Never!

I can easily admit that I can walk into a room of 500 strangers and be comfortable. Not only am I very comfortable, but I can openly be myself. For whatever reason, I am at ease around people, and I have been from a very young age. Then there was today.

I’ve had something personal hanging over my head for a long time. I have wanted to deal with it, yet for various reasons, ended up dragging my feet with its closure. It goes back to the height of my large land development phase, so let’s run with the fall of 2006 for all intense “time frame” purposes. Needing it dealt with, I looked outside my inner circle for help. 

I'd met someone a number of years ago, and I unexpectedly bumped into him again this summer. It’s not like we really ever knew each other; heck when I approached him for help, he had no idea who the hell I was. What’s that saying “you never get a second chance at a first impression"? Details aside; I reminded him who I was, told him what I needed, and he agreed to help. Again, we arrive at today.

Peter, how fitting is it that you were with me at the start of my journey and standing beside me at the very end of it? This afternoon you called my writing “eloquent” yet my flair for the written word pale in comparison to what you have accomplished. I am truly in awe (and equally amazed) at how you treat every single person around you. 

My Cottage Walk In w/ Puddin' (front) & Dot (rear)
Taken: January 6th, 2013

I mean it when I say you are a remarkable person. Always willing to help as well as unconditionally willing to go that extra mile. Respect is earned, and you most definitely have mine. 

Thank you so very much. 

OH, before I forget, all my best to you on your journey with Chester!

I have attached a pic of Puddin’ and Dot. You know what they say? Always nice to put a face (I mean fur coat) to a name !!!

Take Care My Friend.