Monday, November 25, 2024

COURAGE FLAG RAISED

 I woke this morning to a calendar alert from my phone simply labelled JS sentencing. Originally set for this day is September, it had be postponed two months until today.

As you know, I don't mention is name here but it is hoped that his sentencing today offers #JusticeForAshley. My beautiful coworker he murdered in January 2023.

I tried to log into the courtroom hearing this morning, only to discover that his sentencing would not be issued virtually. In turn, I have been checking Collingwood Today, every fifteen minutes, in hopes of finally hearing his fate. 

At about 2:45pm, reporter Erika Engel reported the following. Another milestone for Ashley.

This is her article, and photo credit and (c) belong to her. 

Courage flag raised in Collingwood while sentencing begins for local man who murdered wife.

Photo credit and (c) to Erika Engel of Collingwood Today

'The courage of a woman alone is not enough,' says executive director of My Friend's House during flag raising.

As a purple flag emblazoned with the word "Courage" was hoisted up a flag pole in Collingwood to mark Nov. 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, friends and family members of a woman who was killed by her husband in Collingwood read out victim impact statements in a Barrie courthouse during the sentencing trial for the convicted killer. 

"The courage of a woman alone is not enough," said Alison FitzGerald, the executive director for My Friend's House, Collingwood's women and children's shelter. "It does take a community to make a difference in the lives of abused women and children." 

Members of Collingwood council helped My Friend's House staff raise the flag in front of the library this afternoon. 

FitzGerald reflected after the flag raising on the sentencing trial happening simultaneously. 

"I think it's pretty significant that James Schwalm is being sentenced today, because it's a story where, on the surface and in the community, he seemed like a good guy and nobody really knew what was happening behind the scenes," said FitzGerald in an interview with Collingwood Today. 

Schwalm has pleaded guilty to murdering his wife, Ashley Schwalm, 40, in their home while their children were asleep overnight between Jan. 25 and 26. As the case been before the courts, details have emerged about their relationship heading toward divorce. 

Schwalm strangled his wife, then dressed her body in hiking gear, drove her in her car to a mountain road and crashed it into a ditch before setting fire to it. He fabricated text messages and security footage to cover up the murder. 

The couple lived in Collingwood at the time. He was a captain on a GTA fire department when he killed his wife. 

His sentencing trial continues this afternoon in Barrie. 

"So many people were shocked to hear about the abuse in that relationship ending in murder," said FitzGerald. 

"One of the important things about women's shelters and why they were created was the fact that when women are considering leaving, they are at the greatest risk of being murdered," said FitzGerald. "I think the case of James Schwalm sort of demonstrates that, and that's why shelters exist today and why it's so important that the community supports us to keep our doors open for years to come." 

My Friend's House fields about 4,000 calls per year from women and children in crisis. The phone is answered day and night, and the shelter's 12-14 beds are always full. 

FitzGerald said she doesn't want that to deter anyone from seeking help, as the My Friend's House team will always make it work if a woman and her children need emergency shelter. 

"We want women to keep calling," she said. 

Over the last three decades, FitzGerald has seen some changes in the Collingwood community when it comes to the work of My Friend's House. 

"I'm seeing an increased understanding of violence against women and the importance of making sure that women are supported and children are supported," said FitzGerald. "People don't walk away from me anymore, they say, 'oh, what great work you are doing.'" 

She said it's always a lot of work to raise the funds needed to operate My Friend's House services each year, and noted there are many charities in Collingwood doing great work and competing for the donations that Collingwood and area residents are giving. 

And though the day's flag raising was well-supported and marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, FitzGerald said the work of My Friend's House goes on, and will for a long time. 

"The rates of violence against women aren't changing, and I have a sense that they're actually worsening," said FitzGerald. "We're starting to hear about youth relationships ending in murder as well. So the issue isn't going away. My Friend's House is not going to go away anytime soon." 

If you'd like to support My Friend's House with a donation this year, you can do so through their website myfriendshouse.ca.

Friday, November 15, 2024

SILENT DANCE PARTY


We felt like teens sneaking out the window after Mom went to bed!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 13th (pm) & 14th (am), 2024

To set the tone for the point of my post, it was predetermined that on the day we landed at the resort (for ease and logistics) we would settle into our rooms and have dinner at the buffet. 

After we ate, the three of us grabbed a table and sat in the main lobby to enjoy five wonderful female Mexican musicians, all under the age of thirty, perform as a mariachi band. Their vocals were excellent.

With my sister not understanding their native Spanish lyrics, by 9:00pm she had decided to head back to her room to settle for the night. By 9:03pm, my travel buddy hubby had bolted to the resort trolley system, headed to the oceanfront silent dance party being held at a sister resort.

Now, the silent dance party is something new since the last time we'd visited, so I was keen.

You enter a very large space and the area is completely quiet. You sign out a sterilized set of wireless headphone and choose the genre of music you want to enjoy. No headphones, no music.

A number DJ's play music music on separate channels and your selected channel, which is identified by a specific LED colour on your headphones. 

I remember mentioning to my sister prior to departure that I wanted to attend, and she couldn't grasp the concept, immediately labeling it 'dumb'. For us, it was simply another activity we'd never tried before and thought it would be crazy bananas fun.

Anyway, once settled into the large sister resort lobby, our blue illuminated headsets found us dancing with a group of about ten others listening to the same song as us, with no words nor introductions required.

Proof, yet again, that music is truly the number one international language, and easiest way to connect with strangers.

... With a genuine smile, and positive energy, tied as runner ups for the same results!

Thursday, November 14, 2024

TRAVEL DAY DROWSY

The three of us, in the air mid flight.
Just look at my sister on the end.
Adamant that she was unable to sleep on a plane!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 13th, 2024

When it comes to taking a vacation, coordinating great flight times has become an obsession of mine. Simply because we discovered more than a decade ago, arriving into YYZ in the middle of the night was a hard NO for my travel buddy hubby and I; no matter how big the savings were.

Now, when my sister decided she wanted to join us at our favourite Mayan Riviera resort for a week, I warned her of our early departure intentions, which in turn secured us a midday return flight the following week. 

Her big concern was, "...I can't sleep on a plane." In her defense, we are far more seasoned travelers than she. We can fall asleep as soon as those booming jet engines are engaged before we back away from the gate.

Staying at a hotel close to the airport the night of the 12th to be ready for a 5am Air Canada check-in, her travel anxiety was firing on all cylinders and she was up all night. 

When we woke early on our travel day morn, she was curled up in the TV room with a blanket. Once again anxiously reaffirming to us, again, "...I can't sleep on a plane."

Knowing we were dealing with her lack of sleep, her next hurdle was to adjust to the fact that the Toronto airport is one of the most technically savvy in the world. Your cell phone and your airline app, have essentially replaced paper for a swift progression through check-in, customs, and security.

Not to judge, rather paint a digital technology picture, my sister has an old school flip phone. One she is very proud of I might add. So, we hooked her up with an older android phone we had, and as uncomfortable (and overtired) as she was, she was good to go. 

So much so, that as soon as we checked in to our very large resort, I made sure she was comfortable calling us using a VoIP app I had set up for her. As I wanted to make communication between our rooms worry free.

On a final note. I wanted to touch on the fact that the word 'can't' has never been one I have ever embraced. For me, my mantra is really 'die trying...'  and I always seem to figure it out!

That said, I wish my sister would delete the sucker from her thesaurus, or at least aspire to try to minimize its use. 

Because, as you can see in my photo above... She really CAN sleep on a plane!!

Thursday, October 31, 2024

MY HEAP-O-HELP


Our sweet Katie taking inventory of
every one of her sticks being burned
TAKEN: OCTOBER 24th, 2024

Up until my beloved Annie passed, I use to introduce her fur followers Miya and Katie like this.

"Meet our Miya, she is absolutely beautiful." Then, I would continue with,  "this is her little sister Katie... And she is simply beaut-EVIL!" 

It's always grabbed me a laugh to whomever was meeting them for the first time. But now that they are officially a pack of two, this little one has settled into not having to act out like she did, which I always felt was her puppydom combined with her need to be the center of attention.

At a mere twenty three months of age, I realize now how she struggled to fit in a pack of three. She always respected Annie as her pack leader, yet from the day she arrived, she terrorized Miya incessantly. I am pleased to report that said behavior has stopped since my sweet girl left us.

Now, I'm not in anyway leading you to believe that she has a halo over her head but her need to dominate over Miya is now very focused. 

You see, her retrieving instincts are so deeply routed through her DNA that we have to expel the energy multiple times daily. Frisbees, nerf footballs, rubber pigs, and of course wooden sticks.

Take a dog with no fear, that vibrates when you pick up a stick, and you can imagine how hard it is to do yardwork with a fire going. I'm not kidding when I type that I have to throw a stick into the gully before I place sticks on the fire; because I am afraid she'll jump in to fetch them.

Think a toddler sticking its tongue out an accessible electrical socket. Her extreme personality makes one of my very favourite outdoor chores, extremely stressful.

Which you would never guess by the angelic expression of joy she shoots at me whenever a fire is burning close by!

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

SHOVELING SUNSHINE

With only about 30% of the front leaves fallen,
it was time to start getting them moved into the gully.
TAKEN: OCTOBER 16th, 2024

It started last week. For my afternoon work break, I started shoveling the fallen leaves.  

You read that right, ‘shoveling’.

By dusk Thursday I knew I would spent the weekend in town, rather than going into the cottage. Simply because it hadn’t rained, and everything was dry. Shoveling dry foliage is much easier than the wet soaked crap, so by supper Saturday, though I was spent, all the leaves that had fallen to date were processed.

For those that have never tried it, I have been shoveling for years. You can simply move ten times more leaves by pushing them into the desired piles with a large snow scoop, rather than whisking a rake into the air trying to target where you want them to land if the wind cooperates.

I know I must look silly going through the motions, but I don't care. Believe it or not, my shovelling effort work more effectively than either of the two leaf blowers we own. Three if you count my travel buddy hubby plugging one of them in.

With 90% of the folks on the street retired and me working from home, I see and hear them moving leaves for weeks before we get on the band wagon. For us, it is a balance of finding the best time to blitz them, which usually happens when I see my neighbour next door blowing leaves back onto our lawn.

As I have always written here, I love fall. And this year has been a particularly memorable one weather wise.

The only downfall is I know what is on the way, and it is white, heavy, really annoying, and ALWAYS outstays its welcome.

Kind of like Donald Trump!

#yagottalaughaboutit 

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

A TABLE FOR TEN

As I finished cleaning up, I realized that 
I never took a single photo.
(You can spy my shadow taking this one in the glass.)
TAKEN: OCTOBER 12th, 2024

This past weekend, my travel buddy hubby and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner. Not a real news breaking headline, except for the fact that it had been the first time we’d hosted since 2008.

Part of the reason was for the last number of years we’ve always been away traveling. (When you only get a certain number of vacation days a year, the long weekends become your friend.) The other's that my father in law absolutely loves to host and cook for a house full.

The planning started about three weeks ago when I asked my sister how she would be celebrating. When she said she wouldn't be, I asked if she wanted me to come get her for the weekend. When she said yes, everything else just sort of fell into place.

Usually a table of more that twenty at Christmas, had us setting for an expected table for twelve; which ended up as a last minute table for ten.

Of course, I had to get twinkle lights and stock up on tea lights. Fresh fall flowers were also on my 'must have' list, as well as some very sexy fall table scatter. I don't know about you, but I absolutely love a nicely decorated table. 

The best Thanksgiving decoration of all? The fun, comedic banter, and great family energy we always share when we break bread!

That, and whom was sitting around our table this year, is what I am most thankful for. 

Their unconditional support during this very trying time means the world to us.

Sunday, October 6, 2024

WE RESCUED STELLA!

Stella, who? 
Can't you see the yellow football? 
...We had a great day!!
TAKEN: OCTOBER 5th, 2024

Well, with the weather on our side, we headed to the cottage Saturday morn to begin the ritual of shutting it down.

Up the hill went a 42” Roku TV I’d used as an office monitor the last few years, as well as any/all perishable food we wouldn't need. Items of clothing that weren't officially labeled ‘cottage’ were packed for the season, including all my Quintana Roo appropriate swim wear. 

It was a long day, considering any other odds and sods that may freeze and make a mess when we open next spring we also packed and hauled. As a bonus, our washing machine was also drained and stored ahead of schedule.

The last thing we tackled was securing my beloved Stella (a.k.a the floating picnic table).

We had put her into Orillia Lake the long weekend in May, then three days later, all hell broke loose and my travel buddy hubby landed in St. Michael's hospital trauma unit for three weeks.

I know to most, pulling an old picnic table out of the water may not be considered a mentionable accomplishment. But, the fact that my guy could do the stairs and the ramp to help me pull Stella out of the lake and safe for the winter was amazing. When he made it to the first landing, he looked over the railing, acknowledging that this was 'the first time I have been down here all summer'.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a more significant milestone. Last month, the stroke clinic assured him, his hard work was really paying off. Did you know that if you suffer a stroke, your brain only tries to heal for the first six months?

Though I worried he was pushing it, him doing the stairs at the cottage actually worked in his favour. 

Him not being a quitter, has 95% of his stoke symptoms gone; the 5% remaining are very minor, and we have 54 days left on the calendar for  those to subside. We are grateful.

Here's looking to next year, and Stella getting the workout she has in the past. 

Stella and me both!

Tuesday, October 1, 2024

HER LAST HURRAH

The truth of the matter is I knew when I made the decision to take Annie up the hill at the cottage on September 3rd, she would never come back down. 

I suppose that’s why I took the photos I am sharing above. My 'spidey sense' told me the summer of 2024 would be her last hurrah at Orillia Lake.

Not able to do the stairs, you can see from the one the left that she was exhausted taking the ATV trail. You can spy Miya in the top corner, rubbernecking, wondering why she wasn't leading.

On the right, you can see the saliva accumulation I’ve mentioned previously. That said, I was grateful to snap the Oreo Gang in their familiar formation one last time. My girl was struggling to hold her head and tail high. I knew when I took the picture that our journey as a pack was definitely shifting.

Her decline was reminiscent of what our Dottie went through, so I felt I understood what was on our horizon. I guess my shock and grief are compounded immensely because I had no clue, she would be dead 48 hours later.

Well, today would have been her birthday. As a tribute to her, I updated my cover photo on social media.  It hadn’t previously changed in more than two years.

Gone is the tribute of Puddin’ jumping off the dock (posted the day she passed in June 2022). 

Posted now, is the photo below that I a took of the Oreo Gang almost a year ago. I suspect it will remain in place for a very long time. 

...Because it simply warms my whole heart.

Happy Birthday my Annie. Your Mama sure misses you xo

A great picture of the Oreo Gang in formation,
watching the squirrels.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 19th, 2023







Sunday, September 22, 2024

PROCESSING PUPPY LOVE

Annie arrived back at the cottage
Thursday September 19th. 
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 21st, 2024

As I sit and stare at my screen of the photo I snapped of my two beautiful girls, together again, I just can't seem to find the words. I still haven't fully processed that my amazing Annie left us so soon. 

Who knew when I took her up the hill at the cottage to see Dr. Robyn on September 3rd, that she would be gone two days later.

The only thing that is helping my heart start to heal, is that her suffering was short lived. And, that I wasn't unreasonable in making the swift decision to let her go. Doing it while she was already sedated for her throat scope was the best choice that I could have made for her.

To compound my lingering emotions, last Thursday when I went to pick her up and brought her down the hill to spend the rest of the season with me at the cottage, I was teary eyed to find sympathy card signed by everyone at the Trillium Lakes Animal Hospital. 

"Annie was such a wonderful girl," Dr. Robyn wrote. "I am so sorry we couldn't do more for her." ...Her and me both.

When you have a strong bond with an animal, it feels like a part of you leaves with them when they leave you. This loss, has been by far the most difficult pet loss to process. She went everywhere with me, and was never more than a couple of feet from me at all times. 

As I continually reflect, our Puddin' lived comfortably with cancer for a couple of years. Annie lived uncomfortably for a week. Though I was extremely heart broken when Puddin' parted, I was given time to accept her fate was looming. 

Along with the shock of all of this, it has also impacted what remains of version two of the Oreo Gang. Though they seem to have finally settled into there own as a pack of two these last couple of weeks, they definitely looked for Annie at length.

Anyway, as we move forward with an energetic 3 year old black lab with an old soul,  and super speedy hyper-manic 20 month old yellow lab, version three of the Oreo Gang's definitely something that won't be entertained for a couple of years.

Oh, don't get me wrong, fearing the worst I called our wonderful breeder the day I brought Annie up the hill and her advice definitely resonated. "If you get another one right away", she cautioned. "They will all be passing along at the same time."

...And I simply don't think my heart could ever take a gigantic impact like that.

Thursday, September 12, 2024

REST EASY MY ANNIE

As clear as day, I remember the exact moment we found our beautiful Annie. I was sitting on the balcony watching the sunset in a resort in La Romana, when I received a Facebook alert for puppies for sale.

Once back in Muskoka, we discovered that she was only five weeks old and too young to leave her mama. The owner was adamant, “we have to get them out of here, they are keeping us up at night.” My husband immediately scooped her up; and got her the hell out of dodge.

The price for her freedom? A mere $40.00. To this day, it has been the best forty bucks we have ever spent!

Anyway, once we got her home, we discovered that she was starving. She was unable to lap nor eat soften food properly, so we stayed up with her round the clock. In those first 36 hours, I swear she knew we’d saved her life. I also believe she knew she had stolen our hearts.

Well, it was a world wind week that started with a slight head tilt and some drooling, which is why I booked her in to see Dr. Robyn. 

Though she could find nothing conclusive, we decided to try a round of anti-inflammatory medication for a sore neck. Reacting physically after her second dose, she endured the long weekend in steady decline. 

I returned panicked the following Tuesday, which had us progress to full blood work (that was also inconclusive). Returning to the vet Wednesday, we decided to try anti-nausea medicine with no result. 

Then, Annie's inability to eat to eat or drink led us to do a sedated throat scope Thursday afternoon in search of a blockage. While she was under, we made the difficult decision to euthanize her.  

You see, the reason she was no longer eating or drinking was because the vet felt she no longer knew how to. Her extremely aggressive brain tumor had stolen her from us in a mere seven days.

Though I know we made the right decision, it doesn't make the pain any less bearable. Truth is I am somewhat lost, definitely distraught, and my heart aches to the point where I am still having trouble sleeping.

I guess I just have to keep telling myself, though her death ended her time with me, it will never change our strong bond and very special relationship. 

Take a load off, Annie. Rest and sleep easy my beautiful girl.

I loved you your entire life, and will love and cherish you for the rest of mine.

Friday, August 30, 2024

FOR WHAT IT’s WORTH

My wee Annie taking in views
from her new anti-anxiety bed.
TAKEN: AUGUST 23rd, 2024

For what it’s worth, I hope I never experience another summer like the one I'm currently living. As I go through the motions for the last long weekend of the season, I am folding like a lawn chair and willingly admitting that I am spent.

Between medical trauma at home, multiple personal losses of loved ones, and day to day work stresses, this past week was the last straw. We were worried we were going to have to say goodbye to our Annie. 

Then, after a visit to the vet yesterday, and $400 later, she is home. They have no clue why she is ailing and what is going on with her. Par for the course for the summer of 2024; as it has been a summer of limbo. 

Seriously, the only thing missing from that visual being the catchy tune playing and Chubby Checker singing, because yours truly has been bending over backwards (to the point of breaking) since mid May.

That said, I want everyone to know that I know better than most the symptoms of depression. I honestly don’t feel depressed, simply overwhelmed and ultimately deflated.

What I will share, is that come hell or high water, this whole ‘one step forward, four steps backward’ bullshit needs to come to an end.

And though I try and pride myself on keeping my glass half full, somedays it feels like the water has been turned off at the spigot and the lake in front of me drained dry.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I know my fear of the unknown is making me feel uncertain, which I have alluded to in previous posts.

Anyway, the other side of my ‘bitching about my really shitty summer coin’ is my more immediate remedy to help my negative mindset will be loudly listening to the Top 500 countdown on Rock95 outside all weekend. Forecast says it may be under an umbrella, as we have scheduled rain in the forecast.

See, that’s the forward and backward thing I just referenced. 

Hey, maybe I was just meant to master the Cha-Cha this summer. If that’s the case, call Dancing With The Stars.

...Because these last three months have deemed me a freaking PRO in that category!

#yagottalaughaboutit

Monday, August 19, 2024

CHEERS FROM ANDY GIRL

My smiling sister embracing
cottage life whilst enjoying
a drink with our dad.
TAKEN: AUGUST 9th,  
I'll start with the fact that she's a complete and total homebody. Therefore, I'm not quite sure when my sister and I first broached the subject of her coming to stay with me at the cottage for a week. 

But, if I were to bet on it, I am pretty sure it was in the days and nights I spent alone while my travel buddy hubby was in the trauma unit of St. Michael's hospital last May and June.

She would call me to regularly check in. She was the only one I felt comfortable talking to about the gravity of the situation at hand. Everyone else was kept at a distance. During that time she was unconditionally supportive, and always started our calls with the same four words... "How are you doing?"

Completely unprepared for the emotions swirling at what the many doctors were telling me, she kept me calm. She made me laugh. She helped me focus on the day to day, not on the possibility of what may ultimately transpire.

I don't know if anyone reading this can appreciate just how fragile one's mental health can be during such trying times, but I can confirm that the last few months have tested mine to its limit.

Even now, in a conscious effort to self preserve, I no longer want to be around people. I don't want to discuss what has happened and the journey we are on, as my eyes immediately fill with tears. 

It is like I am transitioning from a full blown extrovert, to a comfortable introvert, hanging out in the bathtub with a blanket over my head; sipping a warm bowl of gravy from a ladle.

That said, my sister visiting offered me a sense of calm and a true feeling of comfort better than any gravy ladle ever could. 

No pressure, zero bullshit. I worked upstairs in my office at the cottage, and she kept herself busy with whatever leftover internet bandwidth I didn't utilize.

I loved hearing the sound of her voice telling the dogs that she was 'NOT going to throw the football in the lake again', probably because it saved me the energy of saying it; about a hundred times a day.

When I dropped her off at home after our nine days together, we gave each other a big hug. As I headed to the door she hollered, "..love ya." To which I responded with "I love you too."

Then, I immediately said, "see you back at the cottage sooner than later." Her last visit was around the spring of 2008.

Which in my opinion, is solid statistical proof, why 4 out of 5 full blown homebody's never come to visit me. 

My sister being the one, that was simply pushed over the edge by a heat wave and the cottage country aromatic allure, of three wet dogs...trying to share her bed!

#yagottalaughaboutit

Monday, August 5, 2024

WHIRLIGIG WONDERS

As you’ve read here many times before, music is a big part of who I am. Numbers and analysis may be how I earn a living, but everything music is how I spend the majority of my spare time. 

To be clear, it’s not because I can sing; because I can’t. 

My point is that I gravitate to the melodies produced (via radio, turntable, and watching live) by those that can. From the time I wake, until I wind down for bed, all genres of music surround me.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when wandering our cottage property my husband came across a 45 rpm record insert. I picked it up, snapped a pic as my tween and teen years came rushing back to me. 

This little fella has been waiting almost 25 years for me to find him.
TAKEN: AUGUST 6th, 2024

We have owned this property for more than two decades. And though I have an extensive vinyl collection at home, we have never broached the idea of spinning a turntable here. 

Therefore, this little beauty has been surviving the seasons for us to find, for almost a quarter century. 

That said, if I am being truthful, as I pondered writing about something so silly, I couldn't resist. 

As I held this gem up, I could see the 45rpm records stacked and ready to play, my hairbrush in grip, with my bedroom mirror pumped on standby to capture my performance.

And trust me. When I was in high school, a whirligig similar to the one my husband found played a large part on those memorable bedroom lip sync concerts.

Here's an idea. How be you cue Sheena Easton and drop the needle on Morning Train. (click to listen) ... and I'll run and grab my hair brush!!

#yagottalaughaboutit

Saturday, July 13, 2024

MY FAVOURITE COWBOY

My amazing cousin Denny doing what he loved most.
TAKEN: AUGUST 2013
Denny Ladouceur 1958- 2024

When I was young, vinyl records filled our home with music. By the late 60’s my mother was gifted a new technology for listening to music in the form of a small cassette tape recorder. 

As a child, I distinctly remember only three cassette tapes that ever accompanied it. 

A Johnny Cash ditty (Boy Named Sue), The Seekers (Come The Day – featuring Georgie Girl and Red Rubber Ball) and one that was clear blue and simply labelled Christmas Eve 1969; it was by far her most treasured.

You see, that simple cassette was a once in a lifetime recording done late on the afore mentioned eve. The lore has it that the fancy new contraption had been confiscated by the ‘older first cousins' and the lengthy recording was filled with their voices after we all returned from midnight church services.

True to his confident self, the loudest voice on that tape was my amazing cousin Denny. 

Sadly, his beautiful voice was silenced suddenly on July 7th, 2024. He was a mere 66 years of age.

Older than I, growing up he was closer with my older siblings. But, as life would have it, spending the time we did at my dad's camp when my kids were small, he was always around. Our connection just kept getting stronger as did my connection to his music.

Eventually I began hiring his band to play corporate team building retreats and holiday parties and they always brought the house down. A super talented musician that played bluegrass music unlike any other, passing on that passion to his boys. Especially, the unstoppable Deryn!

Rest and sleep easy Den. It goes without saying that you will always be my favourite cowboy. 

Be sure to say hello to everyone up there and let them know we are doing OK and thinking of them.

Until we meet again..... 

Sunday, July 7, 2024

THROW AWAY THE KEY!

Image copyright belongs to @CAN_Femicide
(Canadian Femicide Observatory for Justice & Accountability)

This is the second time I have posted here about femicide hitting close personally, and for the second time, I wish I had named my electronic journal... 

"I Am NEVER Gonna Laugh About It!!"

In this second instance, I have been writing about Ashley here for the last year and a half. Readers and friends know just how much I have struggled with the shocking and brutal murder of my former coworker. 

Well, on June 21st, 2024, her accused plead guilty and will be sentenced (after victim impact statements are heard) September 24th, 2024.  

Since the moment the murderer entered a guilty plea, I have read and listened to every possible account of what unfurled in the courtroom the day he admitted to his violent crime. The article I am sharing below, is by far, what I feel provides the most detail and insight into the final day of her life. 

My biggest fear, is that by waiving his right to a pre-trail, and taking the plea bargain to a lesser charge, he will be out sooner than later. That said, that shit scumbag doesn't deserve any space in my mind that is easily devoted to her.

Because, let's face it, if there is one thing my beloved friend truly deserves, it is to rest in peace and forever sleep easy.

On a very personal note. I will always pray for her young children, as they are sadly living victims, that will never forget the very last night of their deceased mother's life.

___________________________________________________________

Firefighter admits to murdering wife in Collingwood home then staging elaborate, clumsy coverup outside one of Ontario's wealthiest private ski clubs.

Written by: Betsy Powell
Courts Reporter - Toronto Star
Betsy is a reporter with the crime, courts and justice team at the Star

 BARRIE A Brampton firefighter who masterminded his wife’s murder and attempted to conceal it by staging a fiery car crash in Ontario’s ski country left behind a trail of evidence for police to unravel.

Soon after he strangled Ashley Schwalm, 40, to death early last year in their Collingwood home — which they shared with their two young children — James Schwalm sent a series of texts to himself from her phone.

It was an attempt to convince police that she was still alive. In one, he asked her to fill up gas cans for a snowblower.

But she was already dead.

On Thursday, Schwalm, 40, pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder but guilty to second-degree murder, admitting in a Barrie courtroom that he killed his wife in their two-storey, three-bedroom home, dressed her in hiking clothes, put her lifeless body in the passenger seat of her Mitsubishi Outlander and drove to Alpine Ski Club on Arrowhead Road.

Schwalm had borrowed his mother’s car and “pre-positioned it” at the Craigleith Ski Club North Lodge parking lot to use as a getaway vehicle after staging the crash nearby.

Sometime before 6 a.m. on Jan. 26, 2023, he set the car on fire, then went home to enact his alibi.

“Ok I’m going to zip out I think the kids will be fine their sleeping,” he wrote in one text to himself from Ashley’s phone.

“Eww I left the gas cans in my car and it smells,” he wrote in another, again pretending to be her.

And later: “Oh, I have vertigo. I’m going to rush home.”

Soon, he walked their two young children to school, telling them their mother was out on a hike.

In the days leading up to her death, Schwalm Googled “alomony” — misspelling “alimony” — and the questions, “can you see iophone history after deleted,” and “does a road flare completely burn,” and “throw road flare into fire.” He also asked a doctor at a social gathering if it was possible to kill someone by snapping their neck, suggesting he was trying to settle a debate with co-workers about the reality of Steven Segal movies.

Police soon found other clues.

There was a $1 million life insurance policy naming James Schwalm as the sole beneficiary in the event of his wife’s death, along with a $250,000 policy with the couple’s children as beneficiaries. Investigators also learned the couple’s 10-year marriage was also the rocks.

On Thursday, the excruciating details of Ashley Schwalm’s murder were revealed for the first time in an agreed statement of facts.

James Schwalm poured gasoline throughout the interior and then drove the vehicle off the edge of the embankment and then, after opening the driver’s side window, lit the vehicle on fire using a lighter bearing his own initials, Crown Attorney Lynne Saunders said reading from the agreed facts in a courtroom filled with the couple’s family and friends.

Two days after the killing, Schwalm gave police a statement and handed over footage from his home’s surveillance system. That footage, he claimed, showed him leaving the home to walk his dog through the neighbourhood the morning Ashley died — he even gave police a map of the route.

When police checked his neighbours’ surveillance cameras, they found nothing to match his story; Schwalm’s footage had been “deliberately manufactured.”

Wearing a grey suit and white button-down shirt, and no tie, Schwalm appeared solemn but composed in the prisoner’s box as he answered Justice Michelle Fuerst’s questions on if he felt any coercion to plead, with his lawyer, Joelle Klein, standing nearby.

Despite pleading to a lesser charge, Schwalm still faces an automatic life sentence with Fuerst set to decide when he will first be eligible to apply for parole, from 10 to 25 years. The sentencing hearing is Sept. 26. (Schwalm will have no guarantee of parole upon his first eligibility date, nor ever.)

Schwalm was a captain with the Brampton Fire and Emergency Services until he was charged with first-degree murder.

The prosecutor gave a detailed account of the couple’s troubled marriage, which started 10 years earlier in a lavish wedding ceremony beside the ski slopes at Craigleith Ski Club, one of several private clubs in the Town of the Blue Mountains, near Collingwood on the shores of southern Georgian Bay.

In early 2022, Ashley was involved in an extra-marital affair with her then-boss. The Schwalms decided they wanted to work to repair the relationship and sought counselling. But by Christmas that year, fissures appeared, the prosecutor said. James told his mother he wasn’t sure they could make it work and Ashley informed her family she was thinking of ending the relationship, sending her sister a message quoting the lyric “all out of love,” by the band Air Supply.

James was also “nurturing” a relationship with the ex-wife of the man with whom Ashley had the affair, and days before killing her, told the woman he’d developed feelings, which she reciprocated. On Jan. 21, 2023, Schwalm told the other woman he was resolved “to do what would make him happy regardless of Ashley still wanting to make their marriage work,” the Crown attorney said.

Sometime the night of Jan. 25, their son heard his parents arguing and when he opened his bedroom door, he saw his mother and father in the upstairs hallway. Ashley asked her son to get her cellphone for her so that she could call police. He retrieved it and gave it to his mom, but then his dad told him to return to bed, Saunders said.

“Sometime later, he opened his bedroom door and saw James Schwalm crying in the area of the mudroom which connects the house to the garage,” and heard his father ask the house’s virtual assistant, “What time is it, Alexa?” to the reply, 3 a.m. Also that day, their daughter told a teacher that she had a bad night because her parents fought and she heard her mother fall down the stairs, Saunders said.

Surveillance video captured some of Schwalm’s movements that cold, dark morning, including footage showing a figure carrying a large backpack running from the area of the crash towards the Craigleith ski lodge parking lot where he had parked his mother’s car.

Just after 6 a.m. on Jan. 26, fire crews responded to a 911 call and extinguished a blaze. They found a badly burned body in the front passenger side of the vehicle.

After determining the deceased was Ashley, police interviewed Schwalm who shared bogus text messages and video clips in an attempt to deflect suspicion away from him. He said Ashley had left home early that morning to go hiking up at the ski hill — a departure from her usual hiking routine.

But it didn’t work, and Ontario Provincial Police investigators from the Collingwood detachment started digging.

On Feb. 3, 2023, they announced Schwalm had been charged with second-degree murder and indignity to a dead body. The charges were later upgraded to first-degree murder.

A post-mortem examination determined Ashley’s cause of death was neck compression not related to the crash, and that she was dead before the fire.

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

STORMY WEATHER REFLECTIONS

Only once, in all of our holiday travels, have I been scared. 

We had arrived in Mazatlán, Sinaloa, Mexico, and in the middle of our first night and for the entire second day, an unexpected storm causing a flash flood ensued. We were hunkered down in our room, completely blindsided and pretty much gobsmacked at what was swirling around us.

By the time the sun rose, the pools at our large resort were overflowing, the roads in and out of the 1000+ room hotel were washed out. We were officially stranded.

This, in a lot of ways, is how both my travel buddy hubby and I have felt the last five weeks since his accident. And what we did then, is what we are doing now. 

Grabbing on for dear life, keeping the other safe, inserting a ton of humour into the situation; while exploring everything as much as we possibly can.

Rhondi Rule #506: When caught in stormy weather
... Just go with it!

Top Photo: The night before the storm hit
TAKEN: November 27th, 2019

Lower Photo: Just hubby and me on the beach !!
(Mid afternoon during the storm)
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 28th, 2019

My personal struggle in both situations, is that I have an extreme fear of the unknown. As a result, in my current state I am not sleeping as I should because my mind simply won't shut off. To compound things, I work from home, and my husband is housebound here as well. 

The truth of the matter is that we are both going stir crazy. Only being able to access two of our three floors, our living quarters are close. So, today on my lunch break, we began watching travel videos on YouTube. Not because there will be any travel in our future but because we are of the mindset that we will never say never.

On a more comical positive front, this morning we both laughed a hearty belly laugh as I cracked my first joke with regards to our situation at hand. I know we will be A-OK, because he also laughed then commented...

'Here we go', he said.  Already starting with the stroke jokes!!'

#yagottalaughaboutit

Saturday, June 15, 2024

BORINGLY NORMAL NO LONGER

As the saying goes, life as we know it can change in a heartbeat. And in the last month, my travel buddy hubby and I are living proof that one day life can be boringly normal and in a nanosecond, it can be anything but.

Nothing prepares you for a life altering change. At one moment, my husband was kissing me goodbye on an early morning. 

Then, before we knew it, we were waiting for confirmation when he would be air lifted to St. Michael’s Hospital trauma unit. 

He moved, and once he arrived, he had emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding, and by 1am the following morn, we knew the left leg would be saved and we were ready to boldly face the next hurdle. 

With his severely irregular heart arrhythmia challenges and no ability to administer those drugs with the brain bleeding still on the table; the worst fear was he’d have a stroke

Sunday led to Monday, and good progress had us out of the trauma unit the following Thursday, with him moved into a room. 

We had been nine days in the trauma trenches and survived, when early morning call came the following morning.

“During the night (at approximately 3am on May 31st) Mr. Peacock suffered a stroke.” The stroke team neurologist shared. 

“A blood clot left his heart and travelled to his brain. His right side and speech have been affected,” she continued. Not even remotely prepared to hear the words, I went numb. Again, we were back together, with me witnessing he was both physically and mentally spent.

Just a little over a month since our 'boringly normal life changed', we couldn't help but reflect this morning on the fact that tonight we were to be at Soldier Field in Chicago with 70,000 other Kenny Chesney fans to enjoy his Sun Goes Down Tour.

Thought we aren't in Chicago, we decided to blow the doors off and tour the local grocery store circuit together. 

We did a solid double header (in reference to the fact that we had tickets for Wrigley Field yesterday). 

First up was Food Basics, then we opened the sunroof and cruised to the other side of town to hit Wal-Mart. Radio blaring, no pups to worry about, we were hitting our semi-normal stride.

Kenny vs. Recovery. 
Thumbs up says it all!
Left - (c) Kenny Chesney Instagram
Right - TAKEN: June 15th, 2024

Because I am listening to Kenny live on #noshoesnation on Sirius as I type, I am sharing where our seats would have been for the concert tonight with a yellow dot on the left. 

Impressive, but it is the photo on the right that truly makes my heart swell with joy, as he is officially out and about and ultimately on the right side of the soil.

That said, Lord knows if that sexy cart he was navigating today was a four-wheeler, he probably would have immediately rolled it in the produce section... taking out all of the organic tomatoes!

Too soon?

#yagottalaughaboutit

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Z IS FOR ZOUNDS

Zounds! That is another April A-Z Challenge behind me.

Great 'z' word, too bad I didn't come up with it on my own. I read that the word is used to express surprise or indignation - so it was perfect. I'm surprised as well as a tad angered that I couldn't come up with a word on my own.

I don't know if any of my readers can relate, but I always get blocked for the my last few letters of the challenge. This year I had to head to Goggle to help me end my plight AND just like last year, I had to back date my final post.

The last few letters are always a slog. I believe in the eleven years I have done the challenge, only the first three were completed daily and on schedule. In fact, I backdated my  'from the achieves' effort because once the month had passed I decided that I didn't want to stop writing. 

This year, I was surprised how well I did each day on the fly. Very little filler, and I made an honest effort. The fact that I have never used the same word twice - is making each year more difficult. 

As I close out the 2024 challenge, my last task is to post a picture of someone/something that can anger me, frustrate me, but can also surprise me in general.

Thanks again for reading. It is truly appreciated.

Rhondi

Zounds! I can't believe she had to use Google!!
(#yagottalaughaboutit)
TAKEN: JULY 1976

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Y is for YYZ

Waiting to board my sexy ride to Bahamas!
TAKEN: APRIL 10th, 2024

I don't know about you, but we have no apprehension about air travel. In fact, because we fly as much as we do, we have our routine down pat.

Check in on the app the night before, then land at the Park n' Fly when we know the Valet bus is ready to leave for the appropriate YYZ terminal. We always carry on so to fly through security, then book it on foot to the appropriate gate. On average it is usually about a 5,000 step undertaking in any direction.

Though we never settle in at our gate immediately (we tend to wander), I always check to see how full the plane will be by those that have arrived. Then, I head to the windows facing the runway to check out our ride. 

Rain or shine, night or day, take-off or transferring, I always snap a picture of the plane we'll be boarding. 

I know this may read silly, but there is something really beautiful about an airplane.

Though I believe Air Canada have issued us the most travel points to date, I really enjoy the overall West Jet experience. 

That said, I hear on the radio and in the news that Air Canada has the worst customer service rating, which has never been our experience. We've only been stranded once, in Fort Worth Texas overnight, but United Airlines won that prize.

I may be biased, but in all the airports I have been in YYZ, by far, is the nicest. Clean, and very efficiently run. It honestly makes me proud to be Canadian.

My number two would have to be ATL (Atlanta), followed by IAH (Houston).

You may think I would vote CCC (Cuba) as my worst experience, but in fact it was (LGA) LaGuardia in New York.

As to my reason why.... that is for another post.

Saturday, April 27, 2024

X IS FOR X-PERIENCE

Photo copyright: Wrigleyville - Chicago Neighborhoods

As I've mentioned, my travel buddy hubby and I prepare to head to Chicago in June for our anniversary. A huge baseball fan, a trip to Wrigley Field was definitely on his list of things we had to do.

With great tickets set for the Friday afternoon game, I wanted to share a link for a video I found when doing my transportation research.  It shows just how this neighbourood and the ballpark have thrived as a landmark all of these years.

A truly amazing drone footage x-perience that is worth the watch. I promise you will feel like you're actually there.

Thanks, YouTube. 

ENJOY!

LINK: Wrigley Field Like You've Never Seen It Before

(Drone fly through of the neighbourhood, ballpark, clubhouse, fly behind the iconic scoreboard and much more)

Friday, April 26, 2024

W IS FOR WANDERING

Miya Maria and Katie Lulu
My famous Facebook wanderers.
(Photo copyright Meta via Muskoka Bulletin Board)

Because I am fortunate enough to work from home and run a doggie daycare hand in hand, I will confess that I steer a tight ship and an even tighter daily schedule. 

I know I shouldn’t laugh, but in all fairness, what I am about to share is really quite comical.

I will start by disclosing that we do NOT let our dogs wander willy-nilly. We have a large yard, yet once in a blue moon they make a break for it. Kind of like George Clooney in O Brother, Where Art Thou?

On this particular morn, break arrives and out the door they go. Annie heads into the gully and the other two follow. I call immediately from the back deck and only one of three return. I continued to call but no furbabies appeared. On go the Crocs, and to the top of the hill I go.

I immediately see them at the bottom of the hill and my tone changes; no reaction. They are literally 100 feet away at the bottom of the hill near the railway tracks. 

It wasn’t until I invited Annie to 'go to the Wal-Mart,'  that the wandering duo book it up the hill home. Less than ten minutes from me putting on my Crocs, we are all back in my home office and back on schedule. 

Minutes after we settle, my phone begins to blow up with messages. Goob even calls from work. It appears, in all their enthusiasm, they tracked (no pun intended) something into neighbours yard directly behind us. 

What I didn’t expect was that the post would go viral locally. Over a hundred shares, cross posted to multiple, to get these poor pup’s home. Seems there was a black and yellow missing in town, hence the post.

But, seriously, just look at the expression on Blondie’s face. I burst out laughing when I saw it. Instinctively she knew that she had ventured to the wrong side of the tracks. Those railroad tracks that is.

Hmm.... Perhaps Andy Warhol was right. With the whole '15 minutes of fame' theory. 

#yagottalaughaboutit

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

U IS FOR UNFORGETABLE

 

My view (flying home) of where we stayed
in South Beach, Miami. Amazing!
TAKEN: APRIL 14th, 2018

In all our unforgettable travel adventures, there are only three destinations that we’ve returned to a second time. South Beach and Miami, the French Quarter of New Orleans, and the Bahamas. 

Our first trip to Miami was a birthday trek, the second was also for that celebration but we only landed in the city to grab a car and drive to Key West. Because we stayed over the day before we flew home, it makes the list.

Our first trip to New Orleans was for French QuarterFest, where 750 thousand people cram in for a long weekend of amazing music and fun. The second occasion was to take our daughter there to celebrate her birthday. (I have personal friends that live there, so I am sure it shall see us again.)

The first time we experienced the Bahamas, it was a killer Black Friday resort deal on Cable Beach that I booked for a little more than eight hundred bucks each. This last trip, renting a house and having the pool and beach to ourselves – hit the wallet considerably harder. 

My husband and I talk often of what it will be like when our age and probably our health restricts us from moving around as freely as we do. It isn’t something we dwell on, but we know that once we officially retire, the disposable income I save on a weekly basis simply won’t be there as readily as it is now.

Anyway, when we arrived back home earlier this month, I logged in my One Drive dedicated to protecting all our photos and videos. As I double clicked into the folder labelled ‘travel spending’, I opened the excel file that logs all our dates and destinations.

Since February of 2012, we have travelled twenty-nine times; Chicago in June will be our thirtieth.

Here’s hoping that there will be at least thirty more!

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

T IS FOR TOMFOOLERY

 

Celebrating Jukebox's birthday
and embracing the local Friday night music scene! 
(l-r: My Rockstar hubby, Goob, and Jukebox the birthday boy.)
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 9th, 2024

I have always made a big deal about celebrating my children's birthdays. I suppose it is because my mother made no matter about mine. The truth is, by the time I was in high school, the annual day came and went without mention. My husband was raised the same.

So, once our family arrived, we embraced all birthday festivities neither my husband nor I got to celebrate when we were growing up.

Jukebox, as our only Aquarian, always gave everyone something to look forward to between New Years and Easter. And, this past year was no exception. 

The boys landed at the house after dinner and we left in search of somewhere to dine. Both he and Goob chose the Mexican restaurant, and it didn't disappoint. 

With both our guys heavily involved in the local music scene, a trip to The Griffin Pub and The Hall made for the perfect places for after dinner apéritifs - as well as excellent entertainment.

Both venue played versions of songs by The Band as requested by our boys for their dad, and at The Hall, Jukebox jumped on stage to play for a packed house.

When I look at the photos I am sharing, they show how genuinely close we are as a family, and truly reflect how we've raised them... To embrace that great fun is NEVER overrated.

The tomfoolery started as soon as they landed at the house.
A great time was had by all!!
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 9th, 2024

The next morning I posted the top photo of to my social media platforms.

It read:

What a night. Everything was perfect. 

I sang with my boys and danced with my man.

Who says living in a small town is boring? 

Never, ever, would any of us utter those words.

Happy belated birthday dinner celebration Jukebox.... Thanks for the memories. 

We love you both very much.

Monday, April 22, 2024

S IS FOR SLEEPY

Law360 reported April 16th, 2024
that on the second day of Donald Trump's
"hush money" criminal trial he fell asleep.

There is so much that I could write here, but because I really try focus on the humorous, I am just going to leave this picture of the orange man that will be running in the next United stated presidential election. 

Late-night TV show host Jimmy Kimmel commented on the remarkable moment, joking: “If Biden is ‘Sleepy Joe’, I guess that makes you ‘Dozo the Clown’.”

Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show, also made some hilarious comments, saying: “Imagine committing so many crimes, you get bored at your own trial. ‘Move on to the good stuff’.”

My fave has to go to Alex Cole via X: #yagottalaughaboutit




Saturday, April 20, 2024

R IS FOR REMINDERS

Jukebox showing off the very first car he owned!
TAKEN DECEMBER 1994

It seems lately, my husband and I are having more conversations with friends and family about financially helping our grown children in the here and now, rather than them having to wait to inherit the little bit that may be left after we pass.

I have written here before that as a young couple that transitioned into a young family, my father never gave us money. Instead, he would come across the street and say, "I bought six bags of milk today and only need two." Then proceed to put the other four into our fridge. His style of tithing is one we have whole heartedly adopted.

We prepare freezer meals all winter and deliver them to their homes, I buy sundries on sale (TP, paper towel, dryer sheets, laundry soap etc.) and keep them in storage at the house. In turn, I ask about once a month what they are in need of. I know our gestures are truly appreciated, just as my dad's were.

In fact, being long past the need to exchange gifts at Christmas, we spent a thousand dollars in grocery store gift cards for the boys. Because as well all know, right now in Canada, the most expensive vehicle to drive is a grocery cart - and we figured it would help them through the winter.

All of the above are reminders of the need to help at home first.

I wish that wasn't the case but in this post pandemic financial climate - it seems to be the very harsh reality.