PONDERING REALITY

Tropical Storm Sara letting her
lingering presence be known.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 16th, 2024

I took the beautiful picture I am sharing mid-morning yesterday. About twelve hours after Tropical Storm Sara hit our large resort compound with some serious authority.

Now, some may ponder the odds of heading to a resort in the Mayan Riviera and getting hammered by the weather like we did. Not us. When we began getting the alerts, we simply felt it was an extension of the storm that has surrounded us this entire year. 

Feeling a tad exhausted and somewhat defeated, I wandered down the beach and I posted a social media video story. I scanned the miles of high waves, to which I opened with... "Oh 2024, how you've challenged me." 

Now, you know I am all about the optimistic thought process of, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' But this has been such a crap year, I am almost ready to hold our next citrus offering up and squeezing the juice into my eyes; it may be a tad less painful.

Though I kid, my thoughts and glass half full of lemonade is focused on the up coming November 31st. 

That will be the day that my travel buddy hubby's brain will officially stop trying to heal itself. Whatever stroke symptoms he has will remain and be a part of our day-to-day reality.

At this point the right arm seems to have corrected itself but there are still lingering speech issues. 

His right-side leg is the one he had emergency surgery on to stop his internal bleeding, so I don't think we will ever truly understand which percentage of his challenges will be accident related vs. stroke related. What we do know, is that he will never walk as he did before.

Anyway, as I sit and type and ponder in Mexico, I feel I can sum up everything I know about life. 

Which is the fact that will always be always be tough, right up until the minute it isn't.

A DECADE & SOME DAYS

Well, this past weekend was a busy one. In hopes of the five of us getting together for at least five minutes to say hello, my daughter made a reservation at Goobs' restaurant for Friday night.

When we picked Jukebox up at his place, he was curious what the special occasion was. There really wasn’t one other than I needed to get our smiling faces together. Sadly that didn't happen because his kitchen serves really amazing authenticate Mexican food and they were turning people without a reservation away at the door. He was jammed.

Though I missed seeing Goob, dinner timing was a perfect prelude to my husband helping Jukebox move to his new digs the following day. When they finished moving him, they in turn fetched things gifted by my mother in law, which had us taking a new bed and much needed larger dresser into the garage furniture inventory. 

All day Saturday, while everyone was busy moving, I enjoyed doing a good fall housecleaning and my annual purge of unnecessary crap that had officially slowly congregated without my consent. That exercise had Sweetie ending up with a bag of clothes she'd left behind and some ‘new to her’ furniture, while Jukebox was unexpectedly gifted the leather sofa we haven’t sat on in five years (all in great shape, just no longer needed as I continue to downsize).

Cleaning out the remnants of the older dresser being gifted, I came across a bunch of photos in a envelope in the bottom drawer. Most I looked at were cut to be placed in a specific frame but over time they’d been replaced with another. The one I am sharing today was taken a decade and some days ago.

I remember this day. We had traveled 100 miles south to a popular amusement park with our three kids and twenty or so of their friends. We'd chartered a small bus and had an amazing day. I remember it as particularly special because it was a time when the last thing our children wanted to do was spent time with us. 

So much has changed since then. All three are fiercely independent and I am proud that the days of back-filling their finances are over. I think the biggest change is the one I see in myself. Though I text with them almost everyday, my need to be a helicopter mom is gone and my constant hovering has finally ceased.

That said, I am so blessed that this picture and the thousands of others I cherish represent just a fraction of the wonderful memories we have created together. All a part of my consistent attempts to model and support each into the very best version of themselves. 

In hindsight, I feel I always tried to be unconditionally supportive whilst balancing being the unbelievable queen size bitch they all know I can still be; the foundation of my almost 30 year formula that's officially resulted in my own personal independence.

...Still hard to fathom that something I'd truly resisted for the last decade's so amazing.

Yet another life lesson for Rhondi.

P IS FOR PARENTING

I read a quote somewhere that referenced parenting as the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion on, and the hardest thing you'll ever do. I couldn’t agree more.

When we discovered that we were going to have the stork stop by in the winter of 1990, we were shocked. Not because we didn’t know how babies were made but we had purchased a new home a year earlier and with mortgage interest being at 12.5%, our 5 year financial commitment was staggering.

The Fam-Jam rockin' Huckleberry Rock in Muskoka
TAKEN: OCTOBER 10th, 2016

When our first born arrived, he was the perfect baby. We didn’t have much money back then but he brought so much joy to us we decide we’d like the stork to visit again; this time, in 1992, he delivered two!

Like any family, we have taken a journey. Even all these years later, I can reflect on certain situations and still wish I would have done things differently. Then again, you know what they say about hindsight; it’s in the past and not the direction I am going.

Today, I look at them as young adults and hope every single day that we have given them some good tools to be both successful and personally happy. I remember being so sad when they all left for school, perhaps I was naive enough to think they would never return. They all have and at least once left again.

After this last stint of my eldest boy being our roommate again, we knew we wouldn't allow any of them to move back home. Not because we're upset with them but we really feel it's time they leave the homestead. Though we would never see them in dire straits, moving home again's no longer an option.

I have to admit, when we get together, I am always joking that should they insist on returning, I am getting a one bedroom apartment with no pull out sofa. Seriously, I should probably tell them that I'm really not joking.... I'm dead serious.

Ya gotta laugh about it!

MIKEY-MIKE & THE FUNKY LUNCH

As you know, I returned to work the first of the week after a really great trip to Mexico. As I finished packing my suitcase at the resort last Sunday afternoon, I admitted something to my husband that took him a little off guard. "I'm excited to get home and get back to work," I said.

The truth of the matter is, that until this past vacation, I have always hopped a plane feeling frazzled and returned more anxious than when I left. Not because I am incompetent, rather, in 99.9% of any work environments that I have worked, I've been very hard pressed to find a core group of coworkers that haven't had their own agenda.

The honest reality is, until I started my current job last September, I'd never experienced working with a true team. Don't get me wrong, I have worked for employers that pontificate they embody a 'team philosophy'; yet in all my years in the workplace, this is the only employer that personally sets the tone and follows through.

Meet Masterchef Mikey-Mike...
Always providing amazing internal customer service!
TAKEN:DECEMBER 11th, 2015

Even though the company may be one of the largest employers in the district, our specific group is quite small. All hardwired to go that extra mile, we work through our lunch most every single day. When I joined, I was pleasantly surprised that (as a team) they strive to eat their lunch together every Friday noon.

Why? It not only officially gives everyone a chance to catch up, it gives us all a chance to laugh as a group, which as you know I always deem... 'the best medicine'.

Okay, so here comes the point of my post. When I snapped Mikey's pic serving lunch today, my core thought was that my post was going to be about our odd ability to BBQ and suntan at work (in Muskoka) in December.

Then, after we scoffed down our food, I headed to my desk and looked up a personal tidbit. I surprisingly discovered via my blog, that today marks exactly 2 years since I handed in my letter of resignation and keys for what I'd previously referred to as my "Dream Job".

When I clicked on my post titled "Christmas Came Early For This Cat"... My reaction wasn't what it had been in the past; which was that I missed and longed for those days to come back. It was simply... HOLY BOATLOAD OF PRECIPITATION BATMAN... LOOK AT ALL THE SNOW!

I guess time, and really amazing internal customer service, truly does heal everything.

Thanks for listening.

HE’S... ON MY BANDWAGON!

I have always been a huge music fan. A true fan, not a fussy music fan like some people I know. As long as there’s a half decent beat, I’m into it. Hell, hand me a pair of spoons and I’ll always get the party started. That love of all things music has transformed me into a concert going junkie. As a result, once the kids left, I went on an amazing magic carpet/concert going bender.

Truth of the matter is my husband and I were in different lanes at that time, so it was Goob that convinced me that going to any concert alone would be a blast. I remember him telling me “everyone around you is there for the very same reason you are. They all love the music as nuch as you do.”  Guess I realized that if it didn’t bother him to go to events alone I should give it a try. I decided to start planning my solo treks. More than three years later, I have saved every ticket stub and I've loved each and every experience.

He loved his Birthday seats!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 15th, 2014

Other than his obsession with The Band, my husband is a huge CCR/John Fogerty fan. Last winter he’d mentioned that he was coming to Canada. He also admitted that he was worried that at sixty nine years of age, this may be his last touring hurrah.

I had told him that I had tried to get tickets to three of his closest stops to us but hadn't been successful. He was disappointed, yet never worried too much about it. Then, for his birthday last summer, I presented him with the tickets I'd purchased the day they went on sale. He was ecstatic. 

Never the fan of his magnitude, I suggested he take one of our sons; he insisted that I accompany him. When all was said and done, I had a blast. I am so use to attending alone that I got in the zone and stayed there from the time he came on the stage until he finished. Walking back to the hotel, I admitted to my husband that I enjoyed the John Forgerty show better than the Eagles. He agreed. It wasn’t just the seats, the Show (not to mention the overall vibe) was just top notch.

It was neat to hear him talk of his experience to fellow Canadians the following morning as we waited to take off at YYZ. As I listened to him chatting, I was glad that he'd finally jumped on my really great bandwagon. After all these years... He finally gets it. 

As I listened to my husband chatting about, I couldn't help but think of my good buddy Zack. He's the only other person that has lived vicariously through my experiences and loved each and every one of my concert going outings as much as yours truly. 

I worry. He's in such a bad spot that I didn't have the heart to mention what he was missing. Not because I thought he'd be angry; it's just with the death of his Dad and other really big life changes I know he's spending his time on a very different bandwagon. 

Kinda sad really... but I know he knows I'll always be here for him no matter what!

LAST YEAR's WRITE OFF

I had to get a couple of items for my upcoming trip yesterday, so I took a road trip. The weather was crappy and the travel slow going; but I made it there and home, safe and sound. As I was unpacking my goodies this morning, I decided I just might as well pack and get it over with.

I couldn't help but remember that this time last year I was rushing to meet my girlfriend at YYZ to hop a plane to YUL for a last minute weekend getaway. As an avid concert goer, I was lucky enough to catch The Eagles in Toronto on the Thursday night, then Bon Jovi in Montreal the following Saturday night. Hard to believe it’s been a year... A year since my sister decided that because she wasn't the one chosen for the jaunt, she’d stop speaking to me indefinitely. (...In The Long Run POST)

A year later, we still talk openly as a family about her choice. We’re all in agreement it was for the best. If it hadn't been this incident, it would have been something equally as petty, that resulted in the demise. Guess our family philosophy is simple: you can’t please someone who is ultimately unpleasable.

We traveled to Staci last Easter so we could spend the day as a family.
TAKEN: APRIL 2014

So I flash forward to my own three children.

Because my siblings are all so much older, my biggest fear raising my three would be they would estrange from one and other as they grew into adults.

Well, they're grown. 

I am pleased to report that they have evolved into three very different individuals that are siblings. Varying interests and varying lifestyles. Have they had their challenges with each other over the years? Absolutely.  Have they written the other off? Not a chance!

Matter a fact, at times they have been closer to each other than to both of us as their parents. I love that they can agree to disagree but ultimately look out for one and other. As I approach my 50th birthday, I can't help but be reminded that my Mother died at 57 years of age. Here's hoping they will always find a way to unconditionally support one and other. God forbid that Jukebox stops speaking to his sister because she took Goob to a Nicki Minaj concert instead of him.

Who the hell am I kidding? Jukebox thinks Nicki Minaj is a fecking idiot!

Just like that, a silly sibling write off has been averted!!

3 Ring Circus Anyone?

"Start every day like it's going to be your best..." ~ Sir Tim Clarke (via Facebook)

GREET EACH NEW DAY 
(Heading to work 7:00am July 5th, 2012)

I woke up this morning and on a scale of one to ten I was a fifteen. 

From the time I opened my eyes and my feet hit the floor, I knew I was going to have a really great day. Fire engine red Rhondi was ready to go!

It was a perfect fall morning for my walk. Even though it was dark when I ventured out, my music choices set my stride as well as my mindset. My jaunt into work always prepares me mentally for the day ahead.

The day started top drawer but as it progressed the pressure cooker became a little more intense. Because I’m always the one motivating and reassuring, if I ever get quiet, the boys immediately call 911 and send in reinforcement. Today was Peanut M&M's which was totally amazing!

I’m not going to lie. I have so much going on in my life right now that the atmosphere is a little bit like a 3 Ring Circus. All three rings are definitely keeping me busy but in a great way. For the first time in a long time I don’t feel overwhelmed; I’m excited for everything I have going on in my life, and I am truly grateful for all the things I have to look forward to in the next six months.

The biggest change in me has got to be my attitude. Seems I can truly let go of what I can’t control. I wasn't capable of doing that a year ago, once again proving that personal progress is very empowering!

I Miss My Dad.

I really miss my Dad. He passed in 2005 but he is forever mentioned in my conversations & he crosses my mind and heart every single day.

Growing up, figure skating was my mom's deal. All other sports, building a fire, fast frying fish, changing a furnace filter? Poppa gets total credit!

Rummaging through my photos last weekend,  I came across a large manila envelope of pictures we shared at his funeral. The one I am posting now was taken two weeks before his friend Herve saved his life. I hadn’t seen it since his passing yet it still really speaks to me.

When I look at this beautiful photo I see a man that is home. He worked hard all his life and ended up exactly where he wanted to be. Living on the lake he grew up on, feeding the birds, forever tinkering, waiting for his family to arrive.

I’ll never forget the call. It was 3am. It was my Aunt. My father had suffered a serious heart attack; Herve had stabilized him and gotten him to the hospital. Plan was to try and move him into Ontario. My Aunt told me to "prepare the family.”

That was December 23^rd, 2004. He pulled through and we moved my father into our home December 31. He passed in my arms on June 23, 2005. In those six months, my entire personal outlook on life changed. I changed and as a family we changed.

I look at this amazing photo and I see love. For those six months we were in this odd yet indescribable bubble. Not focused on the fact that it would end, nor worried that it would end, as a family just living in the moment. He was with us and we felt we'd been hand picked to handle his incredible journey.

Right or wrong, I never shared with my father the life expectancy they'd  given him in the hospital. Instead, I loaded him in the car and brought him back to Muskoka. Over the winter, we'd chat about `how we could elevate his gardens at the lake so he didn’t have to bend down’, and `how he’d have to get an apartment in the winter because living on Lake Temiscaming year round was no longer an option’.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that when I admire this photo I also see Herve and Karen. They too were his family. Before travelling to Muskoka for his service, Karen went down to his beach and filled a mason jar with his sand. She placed it in his casket and it was buried with him.

I can't emphasize enough that Bracebridge was where he raised his family but Lake Temiscaming was always his home. Even today, it feels peaceful to know the two were once again reunited, mason jar and all. Very fitting actually.

I love you Poppa....

Gotta Love The Great Outdoors!

Because we had a really early thaw in Muskoka this year, Orillia Lake was open and ready for business more than two months earlier than last year.

I still find it hard to fathom that this amazing haven stayed virtually abandoned for the 2011 cottage season. As a direct result, I decided that I would move in from Canada Day until Labour Day this year, to truly understand if I could reinvent my summers there without the children present.

I am pleased to report that my relocation last weekend was successful.  With one week under my belt, all I can say is that it makes me sigh knowing there are only seven left.  I can’t believe I’d forgotten how being 10 miles from town is so much more relaxing, not to mention so much more enjoyable.

I have truly missed everything about Orillia Lake. I eat differently, I sleep differently and I exercise more (both my mind and my body) and I feel like a completely different girl.

For all the fun and frolic, it was a lot of work settling in. It was bananas! The lawn hadn’t been cut, the hot water tank had to be reset a bazillion times, shoreline needed tending but the biggest chore was accomplished Sunday. The outdoor shower (with brand new rainfall shower head) was finally relocated.  

It was moved for a couple of reasons; one, the view, and two, its new proximity to the nearest door. Boy, my new ten foot walk is exhilarating not to mention liberating. 

It's been a great week. The warm water, fresh morning air, and the sound of the singing birds have completely changed my disposition and overall attitude. I love, love love it. I love all of it.

So I guess I showed me. I was so afraid to stay at the cottage without the kids that I wasn't going to try. My week reminds me that 'you should always face your fear'. Face it head on without hesitation. I did just that, and I'm having a blast.

Now, if could I only find someone who’d listen to Sarah McLachlin and paint my toenails with me, I’d be golden!

Always Look To Yourself To Find The Answers...

I'm not gonna lie. I had a total crap day. My husband picked me up at work, took one look and me, and he knew it wasn't good. 

It wasn't a crazy bad day per say, just a crazy busy one, with some unexpected road bumps. I want to go on the record with the fact that I hate road bumps. No matter why or how they arrive - they just downright suck. 

So how does an exhausted, road bump rider like myself, take her glass from half empty to half full? As I soaked in my tub, I closed my eyes, looked inward and reflected then listed 25 things I know and understand about myself:

1. My life is complete because I am loved.

2. I have the most amazing and talented children.

3. I am one of the very fortunate in life that love what I do for a living.

4. I know that a hot tub & singing out loud, to my favorite song, will cure my woes at anytime.

5. I believe in God.

6.  I am a leader and I think that my skill set for business is genetic.

7. I feel a smile with my eyes is more important than words.

8. I know that theatre is far more rewarding for me than figure skating ever was.

9.  I have let certain people go & I miss them every single day.

10. I've had people use me and let them.

11. I've had people talk behind my back and let them. (Some I will never speak to again and some I have forgiven because I know they couldn't help themselves.)

12. I know that nursing both my parents to their death has changed my entire outlook on life.

13. I know I make mistakes and I try to learn from every single one of them.

14. I make an effort not to judge someone that hasn't "walked a mile in my shoes"...

15. I honestly feel Canadians need to pay more attention to politics.

16. I’ll take a "little great" in lieu of a "whole lot of nothing" any day.

17. I’ll pick Jane Austen over chocolate in a heart beat.

18. I hear circus music in my head on a regular basis.

19. I know stress shows itself in different ways.

20. I miss my mentors.

21. I know I'm strong on the outside. Fragile on the inside.

22. I love golf. My pitching wedge is my friend.

23. What you see is what you get.
24. I love fun... it's how I roll!

25. I am afraid of the dark. Always have been... always will be.