Z IS FOR ZEAL

I definitely have ZEAL!
(Image credit almay.com)

As I finish my 11th April A-Z Challenge, I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that I have always struggled with my very last letter. I think my plight is somewhat associated with the fact that I have yet to use the same word twice.

This year, I think my word came to me in around-about way. As I brainstormed letters with a pad of paper (and then the help of Google) I began to hone-in on my word of choice; then I found the graphic I am sharing.

Though sometimes most think of it as dedication or enthusiasm for religion, my personal sense of zeal differs.

I am willing, energized and motivated – still after all these years – to keep contributing to my electronic journal; and this annual challenge has always done that. 

When I look at all the words in the graphic there are a few words that apply to this post. 

Victory, excitement, success, determination, and even emotional.

All excellent descriptions of how it feels to make it through another twenty six posts in the crazy month of April!

Q IS FOR QUIET

 

The older I get.... It seems
quiet is what I seek most.
TAKEN: JULY 23rd, 2022
(Me, floating around Orillia Lake)

I'm not quite sure what happened. Ten years ago, I’d jumped through hoops to stay busy with friends and family but for the last couple of years, I just generally want to be left alone.

I suspect it started with the social distancing mandate that COVID had us live through. Then, as health issues began to plague my travel buddy hubby, I just became hyper focused on him and our home.

I suspect the icing on the cake was when I changed jobs at the end of 2021 and slowly began working from home (I only leave my home office a couple of days a month).

There are times when I feel guilty that I enjoy my seclusion - but as I can see retirement on my horizon, I feel I have earned my quiet moments.

 I truly feel I have spent my life in the service of others. Nursed both my parents to their death before I turned forty and gave my children ever possible opportunity I could manage.  In some areas, I think by doing so I failed them in some way. (…Maybe more than one.)

As we entertained fourteen for dinner Good Friday, my hubby and I decided that Saturday was going to be our day of rest.

The best reward?

A quiet nap.

It was perfect!

I IS FOR IMAGINATION

Words to live by!
(c) fearlessmotivation.com

 

COURAGE FLAG RAISED

 I woke this morning to a calendar alert from my phone simply labelled JS sentencing. Originally set for this day is September, it had be postponed two months until today.

As you know, I don't mention is name here but it is hoped that his sentencing today offers #JusticeForAshley. My beautiful coworker he murdered in January 2023.

I tried to log into the courtroom hearing this morning, only to discover that his sentencing would not be issued virtually. In turn, I have been checking Collingwood Today, every fifteen minutes, in hopes of finally hearing his fate. 

At about 2:45pm, reporter Erika Engel reported the following. Another milestone for Ashley.

This is her article, and photo credit and (c) belong to her. 

Courage flag raised in Collingwood while sentencing begins for local man who murdered wife.

Photo credit and (c) to Erika Engel of Collingwood Today

'The courage of a woman alone is not enough,' says executive director of My Friend's House during flag raising.

As a purple flag emblazoned with the word "Courage" was hoisted up a flag pole in Collingwood to mark Nov. 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, friends and family members of a woman who was killed by her husband in Collingwood read out victim impact statements in a Barrie courthouse during the sentencing trial for the convicted killer. 

"The courage of a woman alone is not enough," said Alison FitzGerald, the executive director for My Friend's House, Collingwood's women and children's shelter. "It does take a community to make a difference in the lives of abused women and children." 

Members of Collingwood council helped My Friend's House staff raise the flag in front of the library this afternoon. 

FitzGerald reflected after the flag raising on the sentencing trial happening simultaneously. 

"I think it's pretty significant that James Schwalm is being sentenced today, because it's a story where, on the surface and in the community, he seemed like a good guy and nobody really knew what was happening behind the scenes," said FitzGerald in an interview with Collingwood Today. 

Schwalm has pleaded guilty to murdering his wife, Ashley Schwalm, 40, in their home while their children were asleep overnight between Jan. 25 and 26. As the case been before the courts, details have emerged about their relationship heading toward divorce. 

Schwalm strangled his wife, then dressed her body in hiking gear, drove her in her car to a mountain road and crashed it into a ditch before setting fire to it. He fabricated text messages and security footage to cover up the murder. 

The couple lived in Collingwood at the time. He was a captain on a GTA fire department when he killed his wife. 

His sentencing trial continues this afternoon in Barrie. 

"So many people were shocked to hear about the abuse in that relationship ending in murder," said FitzGerald. 

"One of the important things about women's shelters and why they were created was the fact that when women are considering leaving, they are at the greatest risk of being murdered," said FitzGerald. "I think the case of James Schwalm sort of demonstrates that, and that's why shelters exist today and why it's so important that the community supports us to keep our doors open for years to come." 

My Friend's House fields about 4,000 calls per year from women and children in crisis. The phone is answered day and night, and the shelter's 12-14 beds are always full. 

FitzGerald said she doesn't want that to deter anyone from seeking help, as the My Friend's House team will always make it work if a woman and her children need emergency shelter. 

"We want women to keep calling," she said. 

Over the last three decades, FitzGerald has seen some changes in the Collingwood community when it comes to the work of My Friend's House. 

"I'm seeing an increased understanding of violence against women and the importance of making sure that women are supported and children are supported," said FitzGerald. "People don't walk away from me anymore, they say, 'oh, what great work you are doing.'" 

She said it's always a lot of work to raise the funds needed to operate My Friend's House services each year, and noted there are many charities in Collingwood doing great work and competing for the donations that Collingwood and area residents are giving. 

And though the day's flag raising was well-supported and marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, FitzGerald said the work of My Friend's House goes on, and will for a long time. 

"The rates of violence against women aren't changing, and I have a sense that they're actually worsening," said FitzGerald. "We're starting to hear about youth relationships ending in murder as well. So the issue isn't going away. My Friend's House is not going to go away anytime soon." 

If you'd like to support My Friend's House with a donation this year, you can do so through their website myfriendshouse.ca.

WE RESCUED STELLA!

Stella, who? 
Can't you see the yellow football? 
...We had a great day!!
TAKEN: OCTOBER 5th, 2024

Well, with the weather on our side, we headed to the cottage Saturday morn to begin the ritual of shutting it down.

Up the hill went a 42” Roku TV I’d used as an office monitor the last few years, as well as any/all perishable food we wouldn't need. Items of clothing that weren't officially labeled ‘cottage’ were packed for the season, including all my Quintana Roo appropriate swim wear. 

It was a long day, considering any other odds and sods that may freeze and make a mess when we open next spring we also packed and hauled. As a bonus, our washing machine was also drained and stored ahead of schedule.

The last thing we tackled was securing my beloved Stella (a.k.a the floating picnic table).

We had put her into Orillia Lake the long weekend in May, then three days later, all hell broke loose and my travel buddy hubby landed in St. Michael's hospital trauma unit for three weeks.

I know to most, pulling an old picnic table out of the water may not be considered a mentionable accomplishment. But, the fact that my guy could do the stairs and the ramp to help me pull Stella out of the lake and safe for the winter was amazing. When he made it to the first landing, he looked over the railing, acknowledging that this was 'the first time I have been down here all summer'.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a more significant milestone. Last month, the stroke clinic assured him, his hard work was really paying off. Did you know that if you suffer a stroke, your brain only tries to heal for the first six months?

Though I worried he was pushing it, him doing the stairs at the cottage actually worked in his favour. 

Him not being a quitter, has 95% of his stoke symptoms gone; the 5% remaining are very minor, and we have 54 days left on the calendar for  those to subside. We are grateful.

Here's looking to next year, and Stella getting the workout she has in the past. 

Stella and me both!

FOR WHAT IT’s WORTH

My wee Annie taking in views
from her new anti-anxiety bed.
TAKEN: AUGUST 23rd, 2024

For what it’s worth, I hope I never experience another summer like the one I'm currently living. As I go through the motions for the last long weekend of the season, I am folding like a lawn chair and willingly admitting that I am spent.

Between medical trauma at home, multiple personal losses of loved ones, and day to day work stresses, this past week was the last straw. We were worried we were going to have to say goodbye to our Annie. 

Then, after a visit to the vet yesterday, and $400 later, she is home. They have no clue why she is ailing and what is going on with her. Par for the course for the summer of 2024; as it has been a summer of limbo. 

Seriously, the only thing missing from that visual being the catchy tune playing and Chubby Checker singing, because yours truly has been bending over backwards (to the point of breaking) since mid May.

That said, I want everyone to know that I know better than most the symptoms of depression. I honestly don’t feel depressed, simply overwhelmed and ultimately deflated.

What I will share, is that come hell or high water, this whole ‘one step forward, four steps backward’ bullshit needs to come to an end.

And though I try and pride myself on keeping my glass half full, somedays it feels like the water has been turned off at the spigot and the lake in front of me drained dry.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I know my fear of the unknown is making me feel uncertain, which I have alluded to in previous posts.

Anyway, the other side of my ‘bitching about my really shitty summer coin’ is my more immediate remedy to help my negative mindset will be loudly listening to the Top 500 countdown on Rock95 outside all weekend. Forecast says it may be under an umbrella, as we have scheduled rain in the forecast.

See, that’s the forward and backward thing I just referenced. 

Hey, maybe I was just meant to master the Cha-Cha this summer. If that’s the case, call Dancing With The Stars.

...Because these last three months have deemed me a freaking PRO in that category!

#yagottalaughaboutit

MY FAVOURITE COWBOY

My amazing cousin Denny doing what he loved most.
TAKEN: AUGUST 2013
Denny Ladouceur 1958- 2024

When I was young, vinyl records filled our home with music. By the late 60’s my mother was gifted a new technology for listening to music in the form of a small cassette tape recorder. 

As a child, I distinctly remember only three cassette tapes that ever accompanied it. 

A Johnny Cash ditty (Boy Named Sue), The Seekers (Come The Day – featuring Georgie Girl and Red Rubber Ball) and one that was clear blue and simply labelled Christmas Eve 1969; it was by far her most treasured.

You see, that simple cassette was a once in a lifetime recording done late on the afore mentioned eve. The lore has it that the fancy new contraption had been confiscated by the ‘older first cousins' and the lengthy recording was filled with their voices after we all returned from midnight church services.

True to his confident self, the loudest voice on that tape was my amazing cousin Denny. 

Sadly, his beautiful voice was silenced suddenly on July 7th, 2024. He was a mere 66 years of age.

Older than I, growing up he was closer with my older siblings. But, as life would have it, spending the time we did at my dad's camp when my kids were small, he was always around. Our connection just kept getting stronger as did my connection to his music.

Eventually I began hiring his band to play corporate team building retreats and holiday parties and they always brought the house down. A super talented musician that played bluegrass music unlike any other, passing on that passion to his boys. Especially, the unstoppable Deryn!

Rest and sleep easy Den. It goes without saying that you will always be my favourite cowboy. 

Be sure to say hello to everyone up there and let them know we are doing OK and thinking of them.

Until we meet again..... 

THROW AWAY THE KEY!

Image copyright belongs to @CAN_Femicide
(Canadian Femicide Observatory for Justice & Accountability)

This is the second time I have posted here about femicide hitting close personally, and for the second time, I wish I had named my electronic journal... 

"I Am NEVER Gonna Laugh About It!!"

In this second instance, I have been writing about Ashley here for the last year and a half. Readers and friends know just how much I have struggled with the shocking and brutal murder of my former coworker. 

Well, on June 21st, 2024, her accused plead guilty and will be sentenced (after victim impact statements are heard) September 24th, 2024.  

Since the moment the murderer entered a guilty plea, I have read and listened to every possible account of what unfurled in the courtroom the day he admitted to his violent crime. The article I am sharing below, is by far, what I feel provides the most detail and insight into the final day of her life. 

My biggest fear, is that by waiving his right to a pre-trail, and taking the plea bargain to a lesser charge, he will be out sooner than later. That said, that shit scumbag doesn't deserve any space in my mind that is easily devoted to her.

Because, let's face it, if there is one thing my beloved friend truly deserves, it is to rest in peace and forever sleep easy.

On a very personal note. I will always pray for her young children, as they are sadly living victims, that will never forget the very last night of their deceased mother's life.

___________________________________________________________

Firefighter admits to murdering wife in Collingwood home then staging elaborate, clumsy coverup outside one of Ontario's wealthiest private ski clubs.

Written by: Betsy Powell

Courts Reporter - Toronto Star

Betsy is a reporter with the crime, courts and justice team at the Star

 BARRIE A Brampton firefighter who masterminded his wife’s murder and attempted to conceal it by staging a fiery car crash in Ontario’s ski country left behind a trail of evidence for police to unravel.

Soon after he strangled Ashley Schwalm, 40, to death early last year in their Collingwood home — which they shared with their two young children — James Schwalm sent a series of texts to himself from her phone.

It was an attempt to convince police that she was still alive. In one, he asked her to fill up gas cans for a snowblower.

But she was already dead.

On Thursday, Schwalm, 40, pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder but guilty to second-degree murder, admitting in a Barrie courtroom that he killed his wife in their two-storey, three-bedroom home, dressed her in hiking clothes, put her lifeless body in the passenger seat of her Mitsubishi Outlander and drove to Alpine Ski Club on Arrowhead Road.

Schwalm had borrowed his mother’s car and “pre-positioned it” at the Craigleith Ski Club North Lodge parking lot to use as a getaway vehicle after staging the crash nearby.

Sometime before 6 a.m. on Jan. 26, 2023, he set the car on fire, then went home to enact his alibi.

“Ok I’m going to zip out I think the kids will be fine their sleeping,” he wrote in one text to himself from Ashley’s phone.

“Eww I left the gas cans in my car and it smells,” he wrote in another, again pretending to be her.

And later: “Oh, I have vertigo. I’m going to rush home.”

Soon, he walked their two young children to school, telling them their mother was out on a hike.

In the days leading up to her death, Schwalm Googled “alomony” — misspelling “alimony” — and the questions, “can you see iophone history after deleted,” and “does a road flare completely burn,” and “throw road flare into fire.” He also asked a doctor at a social gathering if it was possible to kill someone by snapping their neck, suggesting he was trying to settle a debate with co-workers about the reality of Steven Segal movies.

Police soon found other clues.

There was a $1 million life insurance policy naming James Schwalm as the sole beneficiary in the event of his wife’s death, along with a $250,000 policy with the couple’s children as beneficiaries. Investigators also learned the couple’s 10-year marriage was also the rocks.

On Thursday, the excruciating details of Ashley Schwalm’s murder were revealed for the first time in an agreed statement of facts.

James Schwalm poured gasoline throughout the interior and then drove the vehicle off the edge of the embankment and then, after opening the driver’s side window, lit the vehicle on fire using a lighter bearing his own initials, Crown Attorney Lynne Saunders said reading from the agreed facts in a courtroom filled with the couple’s family and friends.

Two days after the killing, Schwalm gave police a statement and handed over footage from his home’s surveillance system. That footage, he claimed, showed him leaving the home to walk his dog through the neighbourhood the morning Ashley died — he even gave police a map of the route.

When police checked his neighbours’ surveillance cameras, they found nothing to match his story; Schwalm’s footage had been “deliberately manufactured.”

Wearing a grey suit and white button-down shirt, and no tie, Schwalm appeared solemn but composed in the prisoner’s box as he answered Justice Michelle Fuerst’s questions on if he felt any coercion to plead, with his lawyer, Joelle Klein, standing nearby.

Despite pleading to a lesser charge, Schwalm still faces an automatic life sentence with Fuerst set to decide when he will first be eligible to apply for parole, from 10 to 25 years. The sentencing hearing is Sept. 26. (Schwalm will have no guarantee of parole upon his first eligibility date, nor ever.)

Schwalm was a captain with the Brampton Fire and Emergency Services until he was charged with first-degree murder.

The prosecutor gave a detailed account of the couple’s troubled marriage, which started 10 years earlier in a lavish wedding ceremony beside the ski slopes at Craigleith Ski Club, one of several private clubs in the Town of the Blue Mountains, near Collingwood on the shores of southern Georgian Bay.

In early 2022, Ashley was involved in an extra-marital affair with her then-boss. The Schwalms decided they wanted to work to repair the relationship and sought counselling. But by Christmas that year, fissures appeared, the prosecutor said. James told his mother he wasn’t sure they could make it work and Ashley informed her family she was thinking of ending the relationship, sending her sister a message quoting the lyric “all out of love,” by the band Air Supply.

James was also “nurturing” a relationship with the ex-wife of the man with whom Ashley had the affair, and days before killing her, told the woman he’d developed feelings, which she reciprocated. On Jan. 21, 2023, Schwalm told the other woman he was resolved “to do what would make him happy regardless of Ashley still wanting to make their marriage work,” the Crown attorney said.

Sometime the night of Jan. 25, their son heard his parents arguing and when he opened his bedroom door, he saw his mother and father in the upstairs hallway. Ashley asked her son to get her cellphone for her so that she could call police. He retrieved it and gave it to his mom, but then his dad told him to return to bed, Saunders said.

“Sometime later, he opened his bedroom door and saw James Schwalm crying in the area of the mudroom which connects the house to the garage,” and heard his father ask the house’s virtual assistant, “What time is it, Alexa?” to the reply, 3 a.m. Also that day, their daughter told a teacher that she had a bad night because her parents fought and she heard her mother fall down the stairs, Saunders said.

Surveillance video captured some of Schwalm’s movements that cold, dark morning, including footage showing a figure carrying a large backpack running from the area of the crash towards the Craigleith ski lodge parking lot where he had parked his mother’s car.

Just after 6 a.m. on Jan. 26, fire crews responded to a 911 call and extinguished a blaze. They found a badly burned body in the front passenger side of the vehicle.

After determining the deceased was Ashley, police interviewed Schwalm who shared bogus text messages and video clips in an attempt to deflect suspicion away from him. He said Ashley had left home early that morning to go hiking up at the ski hill — a departure from her usual hiking routine.

But it didn’t work, and Ontario Provincial Police investigators from the Collingwood detachment started digging.

On Feb. 3, 2023, they announced Schwalm had been charged with second-degree murder and indignity to a dead body. The charges were later upgraded to first-degree murder.

A post-mortem examination determined Ashley’s cause of death was neck compression not related to the crash, and that she was dead before the fire.

STORMY WEATHER REFLECTIONS

Only once, in all of our holiday travels, have I been scared. 

We had arrived in Mazatlán, Sinaloa, Mexico, and in the middle of our first night and for the entire second day, an unexpected storm causing a flash flood ensued. We were hunkered down in our room, completely blindsided and pretty much gobsmacked at what was swirling around us.

By the time the sun rose, the pools at our large resort were overflowing, the roads in and out of the 1000+ room hotel were washed out. We were officially stranded.

This, in a lot of ways, is how both my travel buddy hubby and I have felt the last five weeks since his accident. And what we did then, is what we are doing now. 

Grabbing on for dear life, keeping the other safe, inserting a ton of humour into the situation; while exploring everything as much as we possibly can.

Rhondi Rule #506: When caught in stormy weather
... Just go with it!

Top Photo: The night before the storm hit
TAKEN: November 27th, 2019

Lower Photo: Just hubby and me on the beach !!
(Mid afternoon during the storm)
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 28th, 2019

My personal struggle in both situations, is that I have an extreme fear of the unknown. As a result, in my current state I am not sleeping as I should because my mind simply won't shut off. To compound things, I work from home, and my husband is housebound here as well. 

The truth of the matter is that we are both going stir crazy. Only being able to access two of our three floors, our living quarters are close. So, today on my lunch break, we began watching travel videos on YouTube. Not because there will be any travel in our future but because we are of the mindset that we will never say never.

On a more comical positive front, this morning we both laughed a hearty belly laugh as I cracked my first joke with regards to our situation at hand. I know we will be A-OK, because he also laughed then commented...

'Here we go', he said.  Already starting with the stroke jokes!!'

#yagottalaughaboutit

BORINGLY NORMAL NO LONGER

As the saying goes, life as we know it can change in a heartbeat. And in the last month, my travel buddy hubby and I are living proof that one day life can be boringly normal and in a nanosecond, it can be anything but.

Nothing prepares you for a life altering change. At one moment, my husband was kissing me goodbye on an early morning. 

Then, before we knew it, we were waiting for confirmation when he would be air lifted to St. Michael’s Hospital trauma unit. 

He moved, and once he arrived, he had emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding, and by 1am the following morn, we knew the left leg would be saved and we were ready to boldly face the next hurdle. 

With his severely irregular heart arrhythmia challenges and no ability to administer those drugs with the brain bleeding still on the table; the worst fear was he’d have a stroke

Sunday led to Monday, and good progress had us out of the trauma unit the following Thursday, with him moved into a room. 

We had been nine days in the trauma trenches and survived, when early morning call came the following morning.

“During the night (at approximately 3am on May 31st) Mr. Peacock suffered a stroke.” The stroke team neurologist shared. 

“A blood clot left his heart and travelled to his brain. His right side and speech have been affected,” she continued. Not even remotely prepared to hear the words, I went numb. Again, we were back together, with me witnessing he was both physically and mentally spent.

Just a little over a month since our 'boringly normal life changed', we couldn't help but reflect this morning on the fact that tonight we were to be at Soldier Field in Chicago with 70,000 other Kenny Chesney fans to enjoy his Sun Goes Down Tour.

Thought we aren't in Chicago, we decided to blow the doors off and tour the local grocery store circuit together. 

We did a solid double header (in reference to the fact that we had tickets for Wrigley Field yesterday). 

First up was Food Basics, then we opened the sunroof and cruised to the other side of town to hit Wal-Mart. Radio blaring, no pups to worry about, we were hitting our semi-normal stride.

Kenny vs. Recovery. 
Thumbs up says it all!
Left - (c) Kenny Chesney Instagram
Right - TAKEN: June 15th, 2024

Because I am listening to Kenny live on #noshoesnation on Sirius as I type, I am sharing where our seats would have been for the concert tonight with a yellow dot on the left. 

Impressive, but it is the photo on the right that truly makes my heart swell with joy, as he is officially out and about and ultimately on the right side of the soil.

That said, Lord knows if that sexy cart he was navigating today was a four-wheeler, he probably would have immediately rolled it in the produce section... taking out all of the organic tomatoes!

Too soon?

#yagottalaughaboutit

U IS FOR UNFORGETABLE

 

My view (flying home) of where we stayed
in South Beach, Miami. Amazing!
TAKEN: APRIL 14th, 2018

In all our unforgettable travel adventures, there are only three destinations that we’ve returned to a second time. South Beach and Miami, the French Quarter of New Orleans, and the Bahamas. 

Our first trip to Miami was a birthday trek, the second was also for that celebration but we only landed in the city to grab a car and drive to Key West. Because we stayed over the day before we flew home, it makes the list.

Our first trip to New Orleans was for French QuarterFest, where 750 thousand people cram in for a long weekend of amazing music and fun. The second occasion was to take our daughter there to celebrate her birthday. (I have personal friends that live there, so I am sure it shall see us again.)

The first time we experienced the Bahamas, it was a killer Black Friday resort deal on Cable Beach that I booked for a little more than eight hundred bucks each. This last trip, renting a house and having the pool and beach to ourselves – hit the wallet considerably harder. 

My husband and I talk often of what it will be like when our age and probably our health restricts us from moving around as freely as we do. It isn’t something we dwell on, but we know that once we officially retire, the disposable income I save on a weekly basis simply won’t be there as readily as it is now.

Anyway, when we arrived back home earlier this month, I logged in my One Drive dedicated to protecting all our photos and videos. As I double clicked into the folder labelled ‘travel spending’, I opened the excel file that logs all our dates and destinations.

Since February of 2012, we have travelled twenty-nine times; Chicago in June will be our thirtieth.

Here’s hoping that there will be at least thirty more!

R IS FOR REMINDERS

Jukebox showing off the very first car he owned!
TAKEN DECEMBER 1994

It seems lately, my husband and I are having more conversations with friends and family about financially helping our grown children in the here and now, rather than them having to wait to inherit the little bit that may be left after we pass.

I have written here before that as a young couple that transitioned into a young family, my father never gave us money. Instead, he would come across the street and say, "I bought six bags of milk today and only need two." Then proceed to put the other four into our fridge. His style of tithing is one we have whole heartedly adopted.

We prepare freezer meals all winter and deliver them to their homes, I buy sundries on sale (TP, paper towel, dryer sheets, laundry soap etc.) and keep them in storage at the house. In turn, I ask about once a month what they are in need of. I know our gestures are truly appreciated, just as my dad's were.

In fact, being long past the need to exchange gifts at Christmas, we spent a thousand dollars in grocery store gift cards for the boys. Because as well all know, right now in Canada, the most expensive vehicle to drive is a grocery cart - and we figured it would help them through the winter.

All of the above are reminders of the need to help at home first.

I wish that wasn't the case but in this post pandemic financial climate - it seems to be the very harsh reality.

Q IS FOR QUALMS

My latest LinkedIn post.
#truestory #wordstoliveby

The key to success is having no qualms about failure!
(Read that again. Let it sink in.)

N IS FOR NOTABLE

 

A reminder of an important notable...
As my travel buddy hubby takes in
the views from the top of El Faro, Mazatlán
TAKEN: DECEMBER 2nd, 2019

J IS FOR JOY

Well, it’s that time of year again. 

When after months of waiting, I arrive at my destination of choice to celebrate another trip around the sun. 

This year has me nicely perched next to the ocean, in a luxury home we've rented, in the Bahamas.

Once again, I packed a #petrocanada
glass so I could watch the sunset
...and have a drink with my Dad.
TAKEN: APRIL 10th, 2024

Yesterday was an OK travel day. The airports are always hectic but we have learned to navigate them with a ton of off the cuff comedy and a boatload of patience. Afterall, I know where I am going to land, and I realize that in itself is a privilege most never get to experience.

As our taxi zipped along the highway next to the beautiful blue green ocean, I felt myself become overwhelmed with emotion.  I found myself fighting back tears. Tears of joy.

Joy that we can afford to travel as we do, and joy at the best life I have been obviously blessed to be living.

In a nutshell, I will leave you with this. Life is short people. When in doubt, please always refer to Rhondi Rule #779:

Make sure you don't celebrate your 75th birthday.... by living the same year 75 times!

E IS FOR EPIPHANY

Me, dealing with a terrible situation
after my hairdresser unexpectedly
turned me into a blonde!
(I just keep on keepin' on!.)
TAKEN: MAY 25th, 2023

Don't get angry, enraged or insulted.

Rise above the bullshit.

Flick your light back on.

Shine it brighter than ever. 

Fall so deeply in love with your own life

that anyone who tried to wrong you

becomes a laughable, 

ridiculous, distant, memory. 

~ Unknown

My epiphany last spring was to finally stop giving others more latitude than they could ever be granted by others on a good day. 

Instead of focusing on the colour I was dealt, I fired my hairdresser. 

...And it felt really good!

SQUIRRELING MY NUTS

It's that time of year again, where I look to the jar of nuts I have squirreled away all winter and decide how many of those precious gems I am going to spend on each venue, creating a great 2024 concert season. 

Since starting my newest position two and half years ago, I have gotten into the habit of transferring the monies I am paid to do site visits and inspections into a savings account. Knowing full well, that those dollars/nuts will be earmarked for more bucket list tickets.

Because he is in such demand, and focuses primarily on playing football stadiums, my No Shoes Nation buddy won't be headed north of the boarder anytime soon. So, I knew eventually hopping a plane to see him perform was going to be a must. 

Then, shortly after Jimmy Buffet passed, and he and fellow parrot head Zac Brown decided to join forces for their Sun Goes Down Tour. I immediately began making plans to head to into downtown Chicago for our wedding anniversary in June.

Though not a concert, the next tickets to be added here will be for my hubby.
A 1pm start on June 14th at Wrigley Field (Cubs vs Braves)
TAKEN: MARCH 21st, 2024

Though the concert is one of the reasons for heading to Chicago, there are a lot of other items that are a must see. 

An afternoon baseball game at Wrigley Field, a trip to legend Buddy Guys bar in hopes he shows up, an architecture river cruise, and definitely lunch at Lou Malnati's for their famous deep dish pizza. Oh, and let's not forget the fireworks at Navy Pier and a selfie at The Bean!

With our Soldier Field, second tier fourth row adjacent to the stage tickets secured, I am now on the Ticketmaster hunt for Wrigley Field resale tickets.  Which, where my husband wants to sit, are currently running at about the cost of a heart transplant at a private hospital outside Canada. Therefore, I am still squirreling away my nuts to purchase.

I suspect those will be purchased after my annual birthday trip in April. This year we are headed to a luxury oceanfront home we've rented with a pool in the Bahamas. We both love snorkeling, which will be steps through our private gate, so it was a no brainer when West Jet packaged our round trip flights for just over $300 clams each.

Yep, Bahamas is where I spend the clams I have shucked, Ticketmaster is all about my squirreled nuts. Which should not be confused with my 'being nuts'. 

...For obsessively chasing really great concert experiences!

Just sayin'.

TAMING MY TRESSES

You never know who you're going to want to kiss walking Broadway in Nashville! #imabigfan
TAKEN: OCTOBER 10th, 2024

About a week ago, I bit the bullet, went into a hair salon, and got my hair cut. 

Not the most earth-shattering news I have ever shared here - but in this instance, my hair was the longest it had ever been in my life. The truth is I hadn't allowed anyone or anything near my tresses (except my very dull kitchen scissors) since that tearful day last May when I fired my hairdresser.

To be honest, I did wait a couple of days after a Edweena Scissorhands and her barrel of bleach did their deed, before posting about it here. All these months later, my disappointment in what was promised versus what was delivered still really pisses me off!

Anyway, because my hair was already frail, I took a step back and except for root touch up spray to kill the glare, I let it rest for more than two months. Then, through online research, I discovered a natural gloss that washes out which I could apply to cover the blondeness; until my grey could grow out and be blended in with highlights.

You can tell by the picture I am sharing today that by last October, my hair was brittle and because of the overall weight of the length, it looked like crap. It didn't matter what I did. The thing that was once my best accessory, was looking like that super annoying cousin no one wanted to admit they were related to.

Wait, it gets worse. Without notice, my hair started coming out in large clumps in the shower and by the end of January it was significant. My buddy Google said that by repeatedly pulling my hair tightly on the top my head, it was most likely a type of hair loss called traction alopecia. 

I knew it was time. My hair was so damaged that most everything below shoulder length needed to go. So it did. I told my new gal to get rid of everything that needed to go when she very diplomatically said, 'you can come back in a week and we can take more off, it really is best to do this in stages so you can get use to it.'  

She was very empathetic to my journey, and she was absolutely amazing. 

I guess as I sit here and type I wonder how the hell I went from holding my hand up to my ear saying loudly, 'Sorry so-in-so, I can't hear you over the volume of my hair!' To trolling Amazon for hair growth oils and hair thinning solutions.

Three little words. 

Middle age sucks. That is all!

 Actually, that is six words... but I think you catch my drift.

MY EMPTY CHAIR

A very powerful photo of reflection snapped as the sun began to set on December 25th.
TAKEN: DECEMBER 25th, 2023

 

The year twenty-twenty three, though a great year for me professionally,  was also one of staggering loss. Between the people unexpectedly passing, combined with my moving on from those that weren't good for my mental health, saw that final tally exceptionally high.

I'm not exactly sure why, but from a young age, death and great loss has always affected me to my core. 

Part of me wonders if it is attributed to the fact that my parents had me later in life, and I began experiencing death at a younger age than most. I lost my fathers' father and mothers' mother less that three months apart. It was the fall I started grade five; and it hasn't stopped since.

I think the fact that I nursed both of my parents (in palliative homecare) to their deaths by the time I was forty, then lost my very first love unexpectedly at forty three, had something in my mindset give way. I remember the exact moment I made the personal decision to unapologetically live my life to its fullest. To which I have.

This past Christmas, as the house filled with all the smells that represent the holiday season, I paused before I took my photo to say a quick prayer for every single one - living or dead that parted this year.

Whether you agree or not, I believe you truly suffer the stages of grief for both. With acceptance being the final part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the those we've lost. 

If I am being totally honest, I suppose that is what my empty chair actually represents for me.

...Acceptance.

MY COUNTRY MUSIC QUARTET

Old Dominion - top left (ScotiaBank Arena) TAKEN: January 28th, 2023
Zac Brown Band - Top right (Budweiser Stage) TAKEN: July 14th, 2023
Chris Stapleton - Bottom left (Budweiser Stage) TAKEN: August 17th, 2023
Mary Chapin Carpenter - Bottom right (Ryman Auditorium) TAKEN: October 8th, 2023 

I have always appreciated all types of music, but for the last six or seven years, I have found myself gravitating to the channels offerings country on my Sirius satellite app. Suffice it to say, not many were surprised to discover that we landed in Nashville.

I think what might surprise most, is that all tickets purchased for my country music quartet were purchased with less than a month of them all landing on stage. All (except Chapin Carpenter at the Ryman Auditorium) were purchased off Ticketmaster - resale.

Now, I am not proud of what I paid for the tickets, with Old Dominion being the least expensive at a little over $100 each, and Chris Stapleton being the most expensive at just over $1,500 for the pair.

My first three experiences, were so high energy that I headed for the exit with little to no voice from yelling so loud, the fourth (an intimate acoustic presentation) moved me to my musical core. All of them left me completely and unequivocally entertained. Honestly, concert dollars very well spent!

I have always been an avid concert goer, and no genre is off limits. For instance, when we were in Nashville, we toured the Country Music Hall of Fame and explored some of the roof top honky tonk's on October 9th. Then, walked back to our condo off Broadway just in time to sit on our balcony and watch the sunset. 

On a whim, I logged onto Ticketmaster and purchased two stage left Jonas Brothers tickets at Bridgestone Arena (where the Nashville Predictors play). With less than an hour left before they hit the stage, we took our ten minute walk to the venue. They too brought down the house.

Ramping up to perform (Joe's hit) Cake By The Ocean to a packed Bridgestone Arena.
TAKEN: OCTOBER 9th, 2023

Anyway, I remember having a conversation with my brother this summer and he felt the need to point out that my dogs were a luxury. Though I understood his point, I told him that 'my dogs were a necessity that my husband and I couldn't live without'. 

Which in a nutshell, aside from being a mega fan, is why I clicked the Ticketmaster button and bought the Stapleton tickets; exactly three days later. 

My dogs a luxury? Nope. 

It is my concert going habit that wins his specific label. All the monies spent on tickets, hotels, flights, food and spirits? 

THEY... THEM....THOSE.  Will always be the biggest luxury of my life!!