O IS FOR OBVIOUSLY

Leading up to the summer of 2016, my then boss at the time use to brag that he was the 9th Canadian to put his name on the list for the purchase of a Tesla electric SUV. 

Well, the photo shown here was the day it arrived at the office. 

I disclosed that a close friend of mine (also a P. Eng.) was envious at his purchase and he offered to take my picture in front of it for me to share with him. He even offered to let him come to the office and take it for a drive.

After it was all said and done, I praised the ding dong on his new car and his ego couldn't help itself. 

He said, "If you work hard, set goals, and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year!"

OBVIOUSLY, I was an full blown idiot. Why?

This photo was taken in July of 2016, and I allowed his chauvinistic, misogynistic behaviour, to gaslight me until I walked out the door never to return; nor look back and be treated as such ever again.

That life changing day for this cat was September 11th, 2021.

I may be smiling in this photo, but for years I would wake up in the night and suffer panic attacks.
Again, obviously, I WAS an idiot.
Past tense!
TAKEN: JULY 2016

A SNACK BRACKET

My very favourite client was in the office last week and he said to me… “Rhondi, just like you, I’ve had Covid-19.”

We burst out laughing after he continued with, “At the end of all of this, I’m not sure if it will end up being nineteen pounds, or nineteen kilograms!” 

I don’t know about you, but as an emotional eater, I can generally peg the time of year when circus music begins to chime in my ear signaling me to buy stock in the most profitable potato chip company. And I can assure you, every fall, any and all are generously sampled; as part of my annual stock purchase evaluation.

What can I say. I was a fat toddler. I was power fed homogenized milk, and in those days the perception was the fatter the better. The good news is I shed that baby fat, the bad news is those formed fat cells follow you forever.

I have always been athletic and outgoing but when perimenopause clicked in everything changed. My body absorbed food differently and in one year my metabolism changed exponentially. It was in that moment I knew I was being put to pasture.

Kicking and screaming and the better part of a year later, I lost the excess weight and changed my lifestyle. That was in 2012.

Even with a major change in lifestyle, winters and my seasonal affective disorder in this harsh tundra have me pulling my gravy crutch out of the hall closet bringing the five or ten pound of weight gain that accompany it. The good news is those extra pounds were always shed before I ever had to appear in any sort of summer shorts or swimming outfit. 

This year? We locked down. I filled up. The rest is history!

I want to shed the pounds I’ve gained yet I am a creature of habit. 

If gravy has a crutch, my philosophy that if I share with the pups I am really only taking in 1/3 of the calories must be a motorized wheelchair. One chip for each of you, one chip for me. One jelly bean for each of you, one jelly bean for me; and trust me, I am always fair in the distribution department.

I guess you could say that the only way the dogs keep the upper paw on me is because they don't have to share their dog cookies with me. Though I must say, on occasion the label on the front of the box has made it cross my mind.

Not gonna lie.... Those gravy covered Milk Bone dog biscuits definitely land within my mid-winter snack bracket!!

#yagottalaughaboutit

It would appear that Annie and I have similar snackage struggles
TAKEN: AUGUST 7th, 2020

LOYALTY DOES PAY!

Sweetie helped me chase 2000 bonus Air Miles yesterday.
Today I trimmed the tree.
What a GREAT weekend!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 9th, 2018

With my daughter working full time hours at the local hospital, I generally juggle anything I'm doing to get real face to face time with her at least once a week. So, firming up weekend plans was only one of the reasons I rang her Thursday night.  The other was because I'd spied a sexy winter coat for her on sale (50% off) in a flyer, that I'd an additional ten dollar off coupon for. 

I don’t know about you, but I truly watch like a hawk so not to pay full price for day to day items one needs to make life run smoothly. The other side to that  guilty pleasure coin is, over the years, collecting ‘reward points’ has become a bit of an obsession for me.

When I think back, it was the now debunked local Zellers store that got me hooked. I had collected (and never redeemed) over a million points by the time the store closed. I'd look at what I could get with the points I had, but never managed  to redeem any of them. To this day, I'm not sure why I didn't.

Next, came Air Miles. I think it was in the early 1990’s and I remember giving my Dad my second allocated card to help me collect. Between my shopping at the designated local Metro grocery store and his spending on petro & spirits, I hit the ground running. Once again, I never redeemed any, until I was notified that I had to ‘use or lose’ them.

Suffice it to say, my first big redemption was to fly my daughter home from Alberta when she announced that she was ready to return to Ontario. I was amazed how easy the website was to use, so I began collecting miles hardcore to specifically be able to book Toronto hotel rooms (before and after my flights) when my thrice a year jet-set vacationing habit kicked into full swing.

Shoppers Optimum points followed Air Miles and those bought an entire years’ worth of personal toiletries for all my children when they initially left home. Then, the weekly accumulation of Visa Rewards have paid for vacations (almost) in full. Just so we're clear, I in no way live my life on credit, yet make all my purchases using the cards, paying them off bi-monthly. In a nutshell, my bank is paying for my loyalty, as well as fueling my necessity to spend & earn reward points.

Just like those I'm closest to, I have always been a loyal person. In reference to them, I have admitted a number of times here, that I will give you the shirt off my back, cross me and I’ll kill you. Not with any sense of violence, with something much more powerful: my indefinite silence.

Though the above reference has generally been written about relationships or estrangements, it's offers the same result. That loyalty itself, is a two way street. That said, part of me wonders if my biggest lessons in 'loyalty paying off' come from my dogs. 

Their loyalty toward me, has me absolutely & unequivocally devoted to them. I guess you could say, with 20% of my grocery bill being spent on them, whilst collecting a plethora of points along the way, they are simply another reassurance of why/how loyalty programs work.

By feeding them premium dog food, I get to jet set on a beach in Costa Rica.

Another solid avenue that proves loyalty DOES pay!! 

MY NEVERENDING QUEST

I don’t know about you, but I've a very challenging and volatile relationship with my aging metabolism. Trust me when I admit that I wasn't even remotely prepared for what midlife did to a woman’s body but will go on the record stating this: It friggin’ sucks!

My rant extinguished, I should say that my weight issue started the winter after my father passed in 2005. Over the next several years, I was in complete and utter denial that I was managing my internal turmoil by self-medicating with food. It took a serious weight gain and a personal commitment from within to regain a much needed balance. I had to dig really deep to rid my body of the processed food toxins that had taken over.

How did I do it? I saw myself in a family photo during the Christmas break of 2011. I was in shock. It was in that very instant that I made a commitment to get my life & my body back on track. Having never done so before, I made (and kept) a New Year’s resolution and on December 31st, 2011 (which is when my quest for my waist officially began).

Let's face it. I only know a very small handful of women my age that are happy with their shape and my theory is simple. Menopause blows, big time. I suppose I could spend the money on liposuction to rid the evidence that I gave birth to 3 children, instead I wear clothes that are generally flattering to my shape, while spending my savings on travelling as much as my work life allows. 

Soaking up the sun in Cabo!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 28th, 2015

That said, though I'm generally comfortable in the skin I’m in, my upcoming vacation has me tentative for the first time since my quest began. This time last year, I could easily look at myself in my full length mirror, feeling as good about my shape as my disposition would allow.  

This year, not so much. Over the last 12 months I’ve put on some ‘stress weight’ that I am having a tough time shaking. It’s not the type of stress I experienced 10 years ago, more the ‘there aren’t enough hours in a day’ stress; which ultimately opens the door for bad food choices, creating even more stress.

Anyway, as I am officially on my vacation countdown, I tend to daydream more regularly than I normally would. When I wander off, I can feel the hot ocean sun on my face and embrace the serenity of my cellphone being locked in the safe.  The other side of that coin is that I also tend to have the odd nightmare as the time draws closer too. You know the type? When you swear the resort ice cream dispenser is calling your name, or when the resort breakfast station chef asks you how you'd like your eggs? 

I think my time stresses are depleted enough that I can stay away from the ice cream machine but my biggest challenge will present itself when I am asked how I like my eggs.

I keep reassuring myself, that I will not respond how I am truly feeling.

Which is..."I prefer my eggs... IN A CHOCOLATE CAKE!”

Thanks for listening & wish me luck. My waist is gonna need it. 

MY FOOD BANK OF THOUGHTS

Well, it’s that time of year again. When our local economy for tourism dwindles and the plethora of cottagers close up until the lakes open again next year. That said, I think you really have to live here to truly appreciate the seasonality of income and the impact it has on our year round residents.

As you may or may not know, this coming weekend is when Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving. As a result, our Oldtimers hockey team held a food drive last night to help feed our families in need. No one gets paid for their time, nor the resources they provided and their only reward is knowing they are providing a very valuable and much needed community service.

2016 Muskoka Oldtimers Fall Food Drive
TAKEN: OCTOBER 4th, 2016

Short story long, when the knock came to our door last night our three dogs went bonkers. Through the glass in my front door, I could see two young girls wearing hockey jerseys with identifying lanyards draped around their neck. At the end of my drive, a pick-up truck to carry the donations they would have to walk to collect. Immediately, I knew it was the food drive being promoted over the local radio station, so I hollered over the dogs asking them to sit tight as we gathered our items.

As we wandered back up from the door and glanced out our kitchen window, we noticed the girls were headed next door. My husband joked that “they’d give way better stuff than us,” so we watched. We could see our neighbour, whom had done an extravagant exterior landscape renovation this past summer, speaking with the girls. Then, for some very personal reasons I’m sure, closed their door and sent them away empty handed. We were in shock.

After about 10 minutes of dialogue, we realized our opinions on the matter had us racing to the bottom. Bitching about what we’d witnessed wouldn’t make a difference, yet packing up another bag of food on our neighbours' behalf, just might help feed another family in need; which is exactly what we did.

We bolted down the street, explained why we wanted to give more, and I asked the girls if I could take their picture. Not to point out the glass half empty but to post and thank all of the students, parents, grandparents, uncles, sisters, cousins, brothers, for their servitude. 

I know last night I announced to my Facebook friends that I was feeling a rant coming on, which is probably what they were expecting to read. Instead, after a good night sleep and some reflection, my mindset has changed. A day later, I have reduced my emotions to a 50/50 race between hope and karma. 

Hope, yes I definitely felt hope last night. Young people giving back, working hard and staying positive and the majority of the community working together. Yet after what I witnessed from my neighbours, the other side of my brain is pulling an equally strong Karma vibe. 

Guess only time will tell on all fronts.

Thanks for reading.

E IS FOR ESCAPE

I am willing to bet money, that if I asked two hundred people (100 I knew and a 100 I didn't) if they ever felt the need to escape from their everyday life, one hundred and ninety eight would say YES. My best guess would be that the two undecided would be women.

I'd also bet, that those same two women would have to ask me to repeat my question.Why? Because they’d have been too busy talking to each other (about the need to escape from their everyday lives) that they would have completely missed my question being asked!

MY PERFECT ESCAPE.
A beach, a book & a camera.
Taken: March 2012

Let’s face it. Before your mind races to the negative, every person has a unique idea of what their personal ‘escape’ might be. 

For me, I lean on time alone. A great book, a movie in bed, or a long walk whilst singing my very favourite songs aloud.

In many ways, this silly blog is probably my most frequented escape.

Yet, my latest escape actually happened this morning. I unexpectedly headed to the laundry mat and I didn’t know a single soul in a town where I thought I knew everyone. I loved the sound of the water swishing around in the washing machines and rumble of the clothes in the dryers. I suddenly found an inner calmness in everyone minding their own business. It was in that very moment, I knew I'd escaped. I opened my notebook and chose my word.

Today was the very best kind of escape I live to experience: the unexpected kind.

Who knew that a plethora of well heated Bounce dryer sheets could smell so good?

A Reflective Muskoka Monday

The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to burn & which to cross.

 ~ David Russell

With a hectic Monday behind me, I feel the business environment at work unexpectedly brisk for this early in the season. With the Bossman headed back to Florida this afternoon, we had scads to accomplish during his very short visit home this time around.

Why am I reflective? I love my job but I truly have had the pleasure of being a Consultant on a number of very successful teams over the past ten years. The work/contracts awarded came primarily by referral; which is why it’s always been a core business philosophy to never burn a bridge.

I may say it’s a core "philosophy" but I am sad to admit that I'm not perfect. I hate that my stupidity burnt one of my most important "bridges" ever. It happened in 2005.

Let me backup. Personally, there are bridges that I have burned that I am totally OK with.  (Actually, the only problem with some of those in particular was that the person wasn’t standing in the middle of freakin' thing when I torched the son of a gun!)

That said, my 2005 bridge was definitely not THAT kind of bridge. It was the foundation for a lifelong relationship that I completely obliterated; all these years later, my behaviour still harbours regret for me.

Two reasons for my post; I called him out of the blue today to ask how business was and to discuss the Lakes opening. He took my call. Secondly, I am posting because I wanted to apologize and move forward.

I am so very sorry for the phone call I made all those years ago that started with “I usually pride myself on taking a 24 hour cooling down period and I’m just not going to do that today!”

You really did deserve this long before today..

.

I have missed you. I've missed you since the moment I hung up the phone that fateful day.

You've deserved my apology many years ago but it is arriving today. I am so very sorry.

I know we can't go back. Let's go forward.

PS: To answer the question before it’s asked; he does not read my blog... 

I'm Not Superficial - I'm Practical.

After a relaxing and rejuvenating day yesterday I managed to sit down last night and focus on where I want to take my winter trip. I know, I know, you’re going to say “you just got back" but fortunate for me, a VERY unexpected Christmas bonus, paid for my dogs play date on the ocean. So, the money I had so diligently saved for that can now be put to something I know I really need... A rockin' hot tan!

WOW! Just right there... Could I have sounded anymore superficial?!? I think not!

I know what I want & I want what I know.
Taken: February 28th, 2011
Negril, Jamaica

Seriously, as you know, I’ve never been an island hopper. In fact, the only reason the money was spent on Jamaica last year was because I received a substantial performance bonus in the form of a travel voucher (from a supplier, not my employer).

Believe it or not, I honestly try to not to spend money I don’t have. I always try to pay myself first and sometimes that’s really hard to do. 

I’m not a shopper per say (online or otherwise) and except for the indulgence of a really great concert ticket I am a very "stay within my means" kinda gal. 

I do have a couple of rules I live by. I try to never go into a grocery store hungry so that I don’t over spend. I make lunch & dinner menus every Sunday so that there is never any waste. And I pay bills once a week so that I don’t get hammered at the end of the month. I don’t think of myself as frugal, I just think of myself as practical.

Back to the idea of a trip; truth of the matter is, in all aspects of my life, I am a really picky person. It's as simple as I know what I want and I want what I know. So while surfing the internet last night I came to the realization that the whole "last minute thing" may not be the perfect fit for me. I’m not entirely sure I can get on a plane and hope for the best without doing the research prior. I did a lot of reading before I chose a resort last year. Truth of the matter? I like the fact that my 2011 travel experience had me brushing my teeth using water from the tap.

That may sound kinda petty but food and water quality are extremely important to me. For one week a year I love the idea of basking in the sun with a book, enjoying really good food, and minimizing any/all risk of getting ill. Just so you know, I'm not entirely closed off and without an adventurous side. For the first time in my life last year I took the leap and enjoyed authentic Jamaican jerk chicken.

Because chicken is a personal favourite, I know for a fact there will be even more chicken served this year. Guess at this point, I'm just not sure on which island that’s going to happen, nor exactly just how it will be seasoned. Maybe this year I will go for sweet rather than spicy. 

Best start reading on how specific Caribbean Islands prepare chicken and go from there. I'll keep ya posted!

SERIOUSLY? You Can't HEAR Me???

“... frustration is a common emotional response to opposition” 

~ WIKIPEDIA

Though I started today in an excellent frame of mind, it turned into something unexpected (leaning toward downright confrontational) by lunch. 

When placed in a situation like today I try not to frustrate. I am sure it’s because I consider myself to be an above average communicator. (That, and the fact that I force myself to be extremely diplomatic.)

My verbal communication skills are key to me. They give me the ability to break something into its simplest form and easily articulate all the required detail. That skill is expected when giving solid direction. It's been my personal experience that people gravitate toward that style of leadership and appreciate it.

Let me back up. It's bigger than communication. It's about reading people. I know for a FACT that I can read people incredibly well. The tone of someone’s voice and how they interact with me gives me a pretty good read on whether or not what I am saying is resonating. 

Now to my point. For the last couple of days I have been trying to mentor someone that refused to concede that I may know more about a specific scenerio. I’ve taken it slow, I've gotten louder, and I've gone on the record with “you’re not hearing me.” At the end of the day, I can tell you right now they won’t be successful because they've made it about Rhondi and not the task at hand. Truthfully? Should have played the well known preschool teaching principle of “close your mouth and open your ears” 

I get the whole Mars/Venus thing I really do. But like anything in everyday life when something is broken you try to fix it. In this case it appears you can’t fix stupid… I mean stubborn! 

She’s One Tired Social Butterfly

WOW, today was brutal for me. I am positive that I depleted 95% of my Serotonin enduring my whirlwind Saturday alone. By the time I got home from the surprise birthday party (which I’d totally forgotten about) Sunday, I swear I was buying the above mentioned precious chemical via high interest credit.

HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW?

What I did to myself this past weekend, takes me a good 72 hours to recover from. The real downer to my situation is that I honestly know better. And that admission right there makes me nothing other than a total sucker for punishment.

I've honestly known since Labour Day this stretch until Christmas would be a marathon and not a sprint. So when I reminded myself today of the remaining chaos, I just shook my head and rolled my eyes.

It's a crazy busy time of year for me at work and it just so happens that my social dance card is jam packed full as well. As I booked my room this morning in Toronto for the weekend, I just sighed. How did I get myself into such a free fall of social obligation?

Well, just like the HENS, Brian’s business trip was postponed a couple of times. In both instances, it didn’t matter when they happened I was in. Just so happens they fall exactly seven days apart. You’d think in seven days I could recover. Normally I would, but this week has me out of the office more often than not. I’m not complaining, I just have to focus my downtime.

That, and the fact that sometimes I should just say NO! I should say no but I won’t, don't want to, and probably never shall again. Life is too short and I have just recently discovered it can be really very fun.

Three word sentence? Fan-freaking-tastic! I know it's not a sentence silly but at least you get the gist...

What’s Your Sign Baby? Exit!

I totally answered this question today but that's not the reason for my post.

My friend Tim landed in the hospital unexpectedly this week. Last night my quirky sidekick Colleen and I stopped in after work to say hello. Tim didn’t expect to see us so we didn’t stay long. For the record, he looked like he was feeling, really really crappy! A little blunt? Nah, I know he appreciated our surprise; because let’s face it, I only do good surprises.

To the point of my post. Joking around last evening I asked Sir Tim a question and his response was “I am a Libra.” Thinking the morphine just kicked in I dismissed it. Then I recalled Colleen talking 'signs' earlier in the evening. Chatting on my way home tonight, Tim mentioned his sign yet again. That (combined with the dialogue I had with a bat shit crazy Architect I had to sit next to for dinner a couple of weeks back) got me thinking. Is there really any truth to astrology?

Just like my Dad, I have always read my horoscope. I’m an Aries; and by definition of what RAMS are, I pretty much fit the profile. So I immediately wondered; who am I compatible with and who am I not? I started to dig.

Tim’s a Libra. He’s easy going, fair, creative and a good communicator (it doesn’t mention humour but he’s crazy funny). I see how we get along. Colleen is a Cancer. We’ve always loved the qualities the other possesses and together our synergy makes us the perfect business woman. Keeping that trend in mind, one of the most important people in my life right now is a Capricorn. Their traits are very similar to an Aries. I was shocked. How can it be that we get along? I thought the rule of thumb was that 'opposites attract?' 

Honestly? I don’t care what the stars say and I guess that's because I have a pretty simple personal philosophy. If I want you in my life you’re in it, if I don’t you aren’t.

Direct enough for you? Guess I really am an Aries through and through!

So Close and Yet So Far....

I remember the first summer I was away from home. I was living thirty miles south in an apartment with a guardian and four other figure skaters. I called home in the first week; I was physically exhausted, very lonely, and I remember it was a Thursday evening. I was crying. I asked for my dad. Without hesitation my mother yelled telling me to “stop it immediately and pull myself together”. To this day, it's been the most memorable life lesson about personal survival I have ever had. I was twelve.

Before David left last night we had an hour long heart to heart. It was genuine for both of us and (I feel) we were honest and sincere.  We spoke about how he was left in the city and assumptions were made about the situation he'd been placed in. Let’s just say, incorrect assumptions (on my part) were made. Yesterday the record was set straight.

I have always pushed my children. I have unconditionally supported them, and I have also stepped back so they could appreciate the dedication it takes to be successful. As discussed for the first time this weekend, nothing prepares a child to leave the nest. This weekend solidified that it’s not only my journey that has been difficult, so has theirs.

As a mother, it’s hard to admit that I've made some serious parenting mistakes, but I have. All three of my children are unique and as a result never a way to treat them perfectly equal.  It may not have always been equal but it's always been fair. That said, I am very respectful of the choices and the decisions they’ve made. Only time will tell them their true stories.

Just because you can't see me... Doesn't mean I'm not here.

As I sit at my desk this afternoon I am feeling a little like my pup in the picture. 

My children may think when they struggled the hardest I wasn’t there for them but that’s not true. I've never been out of earshot, my heart racing, a safe distance away. 

When it comes to David, I am glad he understands that I'll always be there for him.

All I can hope is that I will eventually be invited down the stairs. I have to think I will be but if I’m not at least now I will understand why.

♫♪♫ Mr.Sandman Bring Me a Dream♪♫♪

Mr. Sandman is calling me to bed early tonight and my exhaustion has his song (and of course those amazing harmonies) playing over and over in my head. So why so tired?

For all of you that don’t receive my personal ESP mind link, I have NOT been feeling 100% since returning from the Spring Cottage Life Show (damn you International Centre and your re-circulated air). I've been sick for the last week. I didn’t sleep well last night, and before dawn, I knew I wasn’t heading into work this morning.

How ill you ask? 

I really enjoy one cup of coffee a day. After only half a cup this morning, I headed back upstairs to bed. (I am pleased to report that I did come downstairs a couple of times; once for water and once for some fresh fruit but even that was a chore.)

Seriously, one can only stay in bed for so long.  Hunger ensues, major leg cramping sets in, not to mention that my back tends to ache into next week. Upside? I had a bath around dinner time with lots of bubbles and I feel I am on the mend.

I am far to busy to stay in bed all day but I wasn't calling the shots. Today proved that ya gotta do what your body says ya gotta do...

As my eyes get heavier and I log off this eve, I have to ask Mr. Sandman do his thing. I can't believe I am climbing into bed again!

Holy Doodle...I Chatted with 25,000 People Last Weekend!

I had a great time at the Cottage Life Show last weekend. My guess is the attendance soared over fifty thousand in total, and I swear I spoke to half of them personally.

I’ve taken a couple of days off work. I needed to. (You know the deal…there is only so much Rhondi to go around.) Reset and reload.

As my Blackberry BBM flashed throughout the day with comments like “the customer needs you, they met you at the Show and have questions,” or the familiar, “they only want to deal with you” I asked myself the following question... When was the last time I met someone new?

I can honestly count how many people in my life that I have truly let in. You know the old saying “a friend will help you move… but a true friend will help you move a body!” Keeping that in mind, let’s just say I only have a handful of people that would help me move (and I refuse to name the Hens that would help me move a body).

How is it possible to know everyone... yet not know anyone?  That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

Work Rhondi is controlling the real Rhondi.

Glass half empty? No way! The goal oriented person I am wants to rebut. My inner self tells me that I will meet someone new in the very near future.