Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I’ve Missed You Doctor Johnny Fever!

I had a great day at work today. Not because I usually have a bad day but because today was an exceptionally good one.

Did start questionably, for the first time in forever I was running late, turns out it made no matter. Once at work, my morning flew by.  As my day progressed, I was pleasantly surprised when young Darren stopped in to say hello as well as my friend and colleague John.

It’s always nice to see both fellas, but today it was especially pleasant to see John. We greeted each other with mutual grandeur, I teased him with sarcasm (as I always do), and he complimented me on how I look. Actually, he told me... "you look great!" 

After I ran back to my lunch bag and fetched the ten bucks I generally pay out for compliments, I thanked him and quickly disclosed that “I haven’t looked nor felt this good about myself in ten years.” 

No questions asked, for the last decade, John has always been extremely supportive of me. He is an amazing leader, great with people, and I sense he loves life in general. I do tend to tease him about the market but I have an unconditional respect for his knowledge and business savvy. He`s a great guy.

As expected, we briefly chatted about the past, a mutual acquaintance, and my letting go. I don’t care who you are; how one deals with something (that I will label) personally traumatic, only happens when your heart heals, and your soul is ready. 

This summer has proven, that with my focus on inner balance & personal happiness solidified, certain things are best left in the past. As I said to the kind Doctor, “it was time.” After he left, I couldn't help but look inward. For a journey that literally began about two years ago, I have truly come a very long way. 

In a nutshell, here's how I see it. I can keep my heart closed in a darkened room, or I can open my heart and let light in and brighten my room. It is a matter of choice. My mind is my room.  Do I darken it, or do I fill it with light? I say bring on the light baby, I’m all about the UV Rays, the Vitamin D, and the tunes!

Thank you again Johnny Fever, it was great to see you. 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Reality, What a Concept! ~Robin Williams

The last couple of days I have been asking myself “am I honestly being realistic?” Not specifically with one aspect of my life but a number of things; my job, my family as well as my personal happiness.

I consider myself a pretty well rounded chick, for some time now I’ve touted that I am eternally optimistic yet cautiously realistic. But for some strange reason lately, I just seem to be setting myself up for insurmountable disappointment. You know the kind, when you burn your hand using the barbeque and the very next night you do the same thing hoping for a different result? That’s describes me to a tee the last few weeks. Guess my mantra should really read eternally optimistic yet perpetually unrealistic!

Life is a journey, I get that. (Lord knows I’ve read enough Facebook status updates to surmise it must be pure fact.) But why is it that I feel like I have been travelling down a questionable path? I know what the result will be. Realistically, I want to hesitate, yet the journey has me so intrigued I stay engaged.  More often than not, I tend to glorify the passage only to be disappointed when the alarm clock rings and I am given a much needed reality check.

All of that said, since I moved out to the cottage, I have continued asking myself some very tough questions.  As a result, I have cleared a lot of the bothersome cobwebs. (I must admit it feels amazing to rid the clutter.) It feels so good, that I picked up the phone Thursday afternoon and called the exterminator to finish the job!

Not quite sure why I am feeling a little funky this Saturday morn. Sad to report that confusion finds me more often than not. Am I feeling pessimistic or am I feeling optimistic?

With a roller coaster week behind me, on this sunny Saturday in Muskoka, let's go this route. Some say "their glass is half empty", some say "their glass is half full," I say"Ya gonna drink that?!?!"

HENS I’m pouring. Pouring all afternoon on the dock. Get the heck over here pronto!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Focus On What Matters & Let Go Of What Doesn't!

I have a ‘three times rule”. There I said it. It’s a personal philosophy I embrace, and yesterday (for the first time in a very long time) I put my rule into effect. In a nutshell, I never do, nor allow anything to happen three times, that I don't want to perpetuate for the long run.

My rule came into my life in a rather unconventional way. I started working for David Grant in the 1990’s. The first week as plant accountant, my good natured side asked my new boss “if he’d like me to get him a cup of coffee”.  To this day, I remember jumping out of my skin when he roared “NEVER ASK ME THAT QUESTION AGAIN!”

When I asked why, his response hit home. “Rhondi, today you ask if I’d like a cup of coffee. If I say yes, I guarantee you’ll ask me again tomorrow” he continued.  “A second time will lead to a third, and once you do something three times it’s your job. More so, it’s acceptable and expected behaviour!”

To offer insight, the first time my sixteen year old son missed a payment on his new laptop, I warned that it was unacceptable. The second time, I reminded, and the third time I repossessed the sucker! Had I let the third Friday pass, non-payment would have been acceptable behaviour and the debt would not have been expected to be paid.

You probably think it’s silly but I apply my "three times rule" at work, home, with immediate family, friends even acquaintances. If I don’t want to do something three times I don’t! If I’m unsure and I agree, after the first time, I explain my concern, pull away after the second and completely walk away after the third. It is that matter a fact for me.

I know it all sounds very black and white, but today I feel relief that I made the right 'me' decision yesterday. I no longer have the expectation looming overhead. Trust me, the approach can appear harsh but it’s one I fully embrace.

As I discover who I am, what I want, and what I need, I’d say yesterday was a giant step forward for me.  It reinforced that I am solely responsible for every life choice and personal decision I make, period.

Onward and upward Peeps!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Gotta Love The Great Outdoors!

Because we had a really early thaw in Muskoka this year, Orillia Lake was open and ready for business more than two months earlier than last year.

I still find it hard to fathom that this amazing haven stayed virtually abandoned for the 2011 cottage season. As a direct result, I decided that I would move in from Canada Day until Labour Day this year, to truly understand if I could reinvent my summers there without the children present.

I am pleased to report that my relocation last weekend was successful.  With one week under my belt, all I can say is that it makes me sigh knowing there are only seven left.  I can’t believe I’d forgotten how being 10 miles from town is so much more relaxing, not to mention so much more enjoyable.

I have truly missed everything about Orillia Lake. I eat differently, I sleep differently and I exercise more (both my mind and my body) and I feel like a completely different girl.

For all the fun and frolic, it was a lot of work settling in. It was bananas! The lawn hadn’t been cut, the hot water tank had to be reset a bazillion times, shoreline needed tending but the biggest chore was accomplished Sunday. The outdoor shower (with brand new rainfall shower head) was finally relocated.  

It was moved for a couple of reasons; one, the view, and two, its new proximity to the nearest door. Boy, my new ten foot walk is exhilarating not to mention liberating. 

It's been a great week. The warm water, fresh morning air, and the sound of the singing birds have completely changed my disposition and overall attitude. I love, love love it. I love all of it.

So I guess I showed me. I was so afraid to stay at the cottage without the kids that I wasn't going to try. My week reminds me that 'you should always face your fear'. Face it head on without hesitation. I did just that, and I'm having a blast.

Now, if could I only find someone who’d listen to Sarah McLachlin and paint my toenails with me, I’d be golden!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Can Both The Question & Answer Be Why?

I like to think of myself as an easygoing gal. Fifteen years ago, maybe not so much, but as the children matured and juggling home and a career became easier, so did my demeanour.

Let me rephrase. It’s not that I wasn’t easy going back then, I was just a little more intense about life in general.  In a nutshell, if provoked, (the kids will attest that) it could quickly get loud. Now days, about as loud as I get is typing in ALL CAPS with my Yahoo email account because you’ve either called me “Ma’am” or perhaps picked an inopportune time to remind me that you “don’t yell”.

I haven’t talked about this much, but my nest emptying was much more difficult than I could have ever imagined. It changed me. It changed my outlook on life and the direction I wanted (as well as no longer wanted) to move in.  It’s been a very trying time for me but one of self discovery.

Enjoying this past Canada Day weekend I began to replay where I was on my personal journey last fall. The thought of October 2011 still haunts me and exactly how dark I was feeling. November had me telling myself to smarten up and by December I had made some very personal choices.

As the months passed, and I rang in 2012, new friendships were made. As a result, each passing month my mood improved. Like anything in life there’s ebb and flow, but for the most part my rediscovery of myself came slowly and without fanfare.

I’m not exactly sure why I am feeling reflective today. That's a lie. I know exactly why. It’s because you never know why people, places, or things drift in and out of your life. It’s a matter of fact. It’s a matter of the life cycle in general. They just do. Having said all that, I also believe for a number of reasons some (both people and items) are meant to stay and I am sad to admit some others are not.

After a series of events over the course of this past weekend,  I suppose I was just second guessing....Why? This morning my answer became clear. 
Q: Why are some meant to stay and others are not? 
A: Doesn't matter why! Keep moving forward and don't look back!!