Thursday, June 23, 2016


Dearest Dad,

Well, it was 11 years ago today you left me. Where the hell has the time gone?

For obvious reasons, you've been on my mind this month. So, out of the blue, I mentioned our 11th anniversary at work yesterday. Then, when I got home tonight I realized nothing tells someone you love them more than writing them a letter; so here you have it.

As you know, the kids are doing great. I wish you could chat with them, laugh with them, one more time. You’d be so very proud. I know I talked to you often when Sweetie was out West, and though she's still healing, I am pleased to report she's finally found her stride. Both the boys are working hard and finding great individual success, which I know won't even remotely surprise you. I will admit that as parents, it seems a tad surreal to be simply standing at the sidelines and watching. Then again, as empty-nesters, more good news as we too have finally found our way.

I'm enclosing some updated photos of the crew. The one of Sweetie and Goob was taken last week when we met for lunch, the one of Jukebox & his Dad was taken when we traveled with friends to Mexico for my last birthday. I'd attach an updated picture of me, but just like Mom, I always seen to be behind the lens of a camera.

Goob & Sweetie                                                   Hubby with Jukebox.

Finally, not looking to avoid the subject, I've nothing to report on my siblings. As you predicted when we did your will, everything unfurled exactly as you expected. That said, just as I use to worry about that 911 call you begged me never to make, I've reconciled myself to the fact that the right thing's happened in both scenarios. I will admit, I find it a tad surreal. You know, how we both ultimately kept our dignity. Yours in your choice of how you wanted to die, and mine in life. You'd be proud of how we've risen above it all. We've just kept our course... and let all the other stuff go. 

Well, I guess I should run. We miss you Dad. We miss you a lot... All five of us.

Every. Single. Day.

Love always,

Monday, June 13, 2016


Well, this past weekend was my wedding anniversary. Although the year we celebrated isn’t officially represented by a gemstone, my friends at Google tell me that couples hitting the milestone, tend to mark the day with amethysts and orchids. We didn’t go the jewelry and flower route, instead we sent the money on how we’d decided to spend the day.

On that note. When my husband asked how I wanted to recognize our day, we bounced a couple of ideas off each other. Once I realized that we were miles apart on how we’d celebrate, I told him what I truly wanted; to repair the dock at the cottage. In all honesty, he really didn’t want to that (as he HATES any/all type of his handyman duties) but after a spurt of my begging, he reluctantly agreed.

I don’t care what anyone says, any marriage takes a boatload of work. That work, produces varying reasons for ultimate success. For us, one of the reasons that we have been successful all these years, is that we’ve always been willing to communicate and negotiate with one and other. For example, in the past when expressing a need to clear & burn brush at the cottage, his standard reply would be, “I’ll man the fire for you, if we can listen to the ballgame on the radio.” 

Knowing how he hates handyman duties I would always agree, though I truly hate baseball. In my eyes, no pain not gain, and my yard work result was always a win/win. So, suffice is to say, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when this past weekend dock repair came with a caveat. “I’ll help fix the dock …If we finally get rid of the slide!”

Now, he knows that I am completely and unequivocally attached to that sucker. I watched my children grow up on it, and with them grown and gone I still enjoyed it quite a lot. I know he offered that up as a condition, so that I’d say... “No way. Let’s go golfing down south!”

My good ole girl is down!
TAKEN: JUNE 11th, 2016
My only comment? I wish each and everyone of you could have seen the look on his face when I agreed.

The only downer was that when we were disassembling my ole friend, one of her legs fell off and dropped to the bottom of the lake. Out of respect, I let her spend the night on her side, stretched out on the dock. With any loss, I’ll have to reflect and figure a few things out.

…Like what I'm going to have to negotiate to get my husband to put her back up next weekend!

Sunday, June 5, 2016


A smidgen over a year after returning to Ontario, our daughter once again moved out on her own last Friday. It had been something she wanted to do since arriving, yet finding reliable full-time work in this one horse town, became her challenge. When she did find a solid job, the hours were so erratic that all she did was sleep to stay functioning (so moving out, understandably hit the back burner). As a result, craving her independence, personal space and sanity, over this past winter she'd spend nights on the couch at her twin brothers house to simply escape the 'rents'. Now that she's officially relocated, is it bad to admit that the feeling was mutual? 

Five years ago I didn't know what to do with my time. Now, I find there aren't enough hours in a day to accomplish all the things I want to experience. To put things into perspective, the first time she moved 50 miles south, I cried for what felt like months. This #9 time? I took yesterday to myself and this morning I landed home to clean the spare room and move my work clothing into the spare closet & dressers. A mere 48 hours later, I had cleaned and reconciled the clutter and was extremely grateful to have my dressing room back.

Her leaving resembles my general opinion of my life thus far, which is there will always be evolution. We outgrow people, we outgrow jobs, and we most certainly outgrow circumstance. Yet, never, ever, in a million years, would I have predicted that our children would outgrow us; and vice versa. In no way shape or form does it mean we don't love one another, it just means to stay unconditionally in love with each other, there needs to be a mutual respect of boundaries and a pinch of distance to make the love affair effortless.

Happy 24th Birthday Staccs & Goob... We love you very much.
Anyway, for those of you that are connected to the twins on social media, you know that this past weekend was their Birthday weekend. YUP, 24 years ago this week, at 8:33am & 8:36am they officially entered our world. They were two weeks early and both greeted the world a sneeze under 7lbs each. When I look at the photo I'm sharing, it almost look surreal. That our journey of raising them, and letting them go, at times feels like a bit of a dream.

All these years later they remain as close as they were as children, they have solid friendships they've nurtured since Kindergarten, are both hardworking, very responsible, and have grown and evolved into very good and loving people.  

So I'll officially wish them both the very best on their day & add one very loving caveat. 

Happy Birthday to my wonderful children....That no longer live at home!