What Do YOU Expect?

Have you ever wondered if the biggest disappointment in day to day life is expectation? 

Not only the expectation you have for yourself; but for those you love, as well as those that you surround yourself with. I realize that’s an extremely slippery slope, yet it’s the question I am left with this morning.

After a very successful morning at work (and very enjoyable afternoon off) for all intense purposes, I didn’t arrive home to what I expected. I’ll take that one step further and say, in finding what I did yesterday; I’m not sure what I should expect in the future. 

Sad really, because not only do I know what I want to have happen but I know what I need to have happen. That said, using the last couple of years as a measuring stick, I’m not sure either will. 

I’m anything but naive. I absolutely and unequivocally know the difference between "want" and "need". I learned that particular life lesson at a very young age. It was one of the core philosophies I was raised by. That’s not a criticism it’s a compliment. My parents raised me the best they could with the resources they had. I guess I have just been blessed to have more all around resources than they did. Naturally,  I automatically expected better results.

Where did I go wrong? Because my business grew so big so fast, I had Jenn and later Kath cater to my children. The harsh reality was that I was busy making hay while the sun shone. As a direct result, through their formative teen years, there may have been more sparing of the rod and spoiling of the child happening than should have for their own good. This was when the cracks began to surface.

Taken the day the Singleton Brothers hired me from Calgary.
They asked to match a face to a voice and so I emailed this pic.
Taken: July 8th, 2005

Truth of the matter is that I worked seven days a week for almost seven years.

If I wasn’t on a plane to Calgary or Halifax, I was in the Downtown GTA or over in Haliburton. 

I'll admit that I have learned firsthand that the laws of supply and demand can be excruciating as well as financially rewarding. 

I guess I just recognize now, that perhaps my priorities were out of focus, and monetary reward replaced a certain nurturing I had been given growing up in the 1970’s. 

As I enter the next phase of my life, I have to ask myself what I would have done differently in the last ten years? My list is long. For instance, I would have stayed away from the lime green and black print fashion combo I rocked back in 2005, when Barry and Brian hired me from Calgary. 

Seriously, I've had to ask myself this morning, what did you expect? Fashion choices aside, I know one thing's for sure. If I knew then what I know now; there would have been a very different result yesterday when I finally arrived at home!

Oh well... Onward and upward is the only direction I can go.

My Mom Will Always Be My Valentine

Valentine’s Day has never been something I've looked forward to nor been very fond of. When I was young, I was lucky to give out the cute little boxed cards like everyone else did. Never dated in high school; so for obvious reason, there wasn't any gift giving/surprise kisses ever sent my way. 

By February 14^th, 1987 I did have a very serious suitor. It was the first time this specific holiday had rolled around for my husband and I, but these 26 years later that’s not why it's a memorable day. It's most memorable for both of us, because it's the day my mother died.

The last photo ever taken of my parents together.
Taken: June 1985

It’s always a sad day when a life ends. As we know, it's always hardest on the ones they leave behind. Even decades later, it's still a difficult day for me.

I can't begin to explain how she suffered. Having nursed her to her death; I remember looking at her in her bed, my eyes filled with tears, thanking God that she was finally at peace. 

To say the least, she was very brave. She was only 57 when her journey ended.

The photo I am posting was the last taken and the one that sat atop her casket. As my father moved on with his life, he entrusted it to me, and I still have it.

For what it's worth; when I wake up tomorrow I will thank God I am healthy, and I'll greet the new day. I will say a prayer for all looking for love, as well as a prayer for all of those that have found love. I will wear my favourite colour red, and I will also wear a cherished heart shaped pendant. 

The pendant was my mothers and I only wear once a year. I wear it to mark the day. Each and every year I place it over my heart for a very specific reason; as somber as it may sound, after all these years it helps me remember. It's also personally symbolic of what I know to true. 

... that she will always Be My Valentine.

With Toes Tapping & Fingers Snapping

Heading into the city yesterday morning I had the radio blaring; as expected, as soon as I could get reception, I switched the dial to CHFI. (I regularly stream via the television satellite because it really is my favourite station on the FM dial.)

Passing Canada’s Wonderland, one of my favourite songs hit the airwaves. I cranked the radio as loud as I could stand it, and sang each and every word at the top of my lungs. I have no idea how I sounded because the radio was being drown out by the two dogs in the back howling in pain. My glass half full immediately associated my girlz as “backup accompaniment” and I am pleased to report that the three of us finished the song in its entirety as we approached the 401.

What makes music resonate? In this instance:  the instrumental track from the first section of the song was the music used as the one minute intro for my Jr. Silver Freeskate. The summer of 1983, I swear I heard the amazing bass line and horn section three times a day for the entire summer. To this day, it's still one of my very fave songs to shake my booty to.

Back to a song resonating. Maybe it's that we tend to put ourselves out there in the moment and personally envision. Seriously, tell me? What woman wouldn’t want to …♫♪♫ Save a horse… Ride a Cowboy ♫♪♫…? I take my personal commitment seriously. I am a firm believer in making sure the horse population is well taken care of forever in perpetuity! Never did before I heard that particular song. Just sayin'

All kidding aside; I don’t post many videos on here. In this instance, I want you hit play and really to turn in up. If don't tap your toes, or snap your fingers, you need to send me a note. In return, I’ll call 911 for you immediately. 

Why? Because you’ve lost your soul! As an added bonus?!  You’re probably tone deaf!

Giddy UP and ENJOY one of my very favourite songs... And the dogs like it too!

Do you remember the

21st night of September?

Love was changing the minds of pretenders

While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing

In the key that our souls were singing.

As we danced in the night,

Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you

Holding hands with your heart to see you

Only blue talk and love,

Remember how we knew love was here to stay

Now December found the love that we shared in September.

Only blue talk and love,

Remember the true love we share today

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days

My Journey Started At YYZ...

In preparing for David to move home, I rearranged the spare bedroom this weekend. When organizing the extra room, it reminded me just how much I truly love to read.

Though most of my books are either at the cottage or tucked away on a need to read basis; my very favourite duplicates have somehow been assigned to the spare bedroom night stand, where I have been known to curl up at a moments notice and enjoy.

I really do consider all of these books my friends. I've purchased each and every one in the spare bedroom in a pinch to 'read something wonderfully familiar'. Sadly because they're duplicates, I only read parts and pieces, every now and again. Some I have never touched since their impulse purchase.

Anyway, in moving them all this weekend, I came across an extra copy of my very favourite book. How crazy is it that I'd forgotten I'd purchased it/her for the fourth time?

This business trip totally changed my life....
Taken February 10th, 2013

When I picked up my close friend I froze. Not because of who she was, but because of the bookmark I had left in her. I was shocked to find an airline ticket from a business trip I'd taken in March 2011 to Minneapolis. 

I had purchased my BFF (at the very last minute at YYZ) in an effort to embrace a trip that I had no desire to take. She offered me the comfort I expected that flight. Finding the ticket reminded me in real time, that the trip I was dreading to take, completely changed my life.

It's true. When I landed at MSP I was only going through the motions. By the time my plane took off back to Canada, I knew the experience had changed me. I arrived home with the personal goal to get fit and find the real me that had been missing since my father passed in my arms in 2005.

I've been second guessing myself a little lately but finding my plane ticket bookmark reinforces just how far I have truly traveled.

Three word sentence?  Meant to be!

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

This morning my walk to meet Robbie K was in perfect weather. Tonight on the other hand, my walk home was a really cold one (and not in the 'ice cold Bud Light' sense). I honestly didn’t mind the wind chill, it was tolerable. Probably because my music was great, and my disposition even better. That’s half the battle right?

I do love winter. Especially now that I don’t have to walk to work in the dark and arrive home in the dark. I know from sheer experience that the best part of the season is yet to come. 

In getting in shape, I use to walk because I needed to. Now that I am fit, I walk because I want to. I enjoy those thirteen minutes in the morning that ultimately get me ready for my day. Matter a fact; I like those thirteen minutes almost as much as the same ones heading home. They help me to process the work day I have just had. 

Snowshoeing the 18 holes at South Muskoka last winter.
I WILL Walk 500 Miles...
Wait... Isn't that a song? Figures!
Taken: Family Day 2012

Again, not that I go to work expecting a bad day, because for the most part I really do love my job. It's just that for whatever reason, I'd temporarily lost my bearings. I do know why, yet some realities are always harder to process than others. To quote Winston Churchill... “If you’re going through Hell   KEEP GOING..." so I did. 

Biggest Surprise?

For the first time in my life, I didn’t push away the people that wanted to unconditionally support me. (Nor did I lash out against the any number of easy targets I have in my day to day life.) Instead, I compartmentalized my feelings to a place where unicorns prance about, and there really is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. 

NO, I wasn't taking quaaludes. I pushed through it dumbass!

Why the pushing? Once again, I found myself moving through the stages of grief; this time, for whatever reason, my glass was half full. I finally understood that the process would eventually end. It would end and everything would be okay. Walking home tonight, I knew I was going to be OK! 

You have no idea how great it feels to type that simple statement... I think I need to go for a walk. Wanna come?

I'm Just Tickled P!nk

As Monday March 11th approaches; September 24th, 2012 seems like forever ago. 

I remember I arrived at work that morning and reminded everyone in our start up meeting that I was not to be disturbed until at least 10:10 am. It wasn't because I had a scheduled appointment or a conference call, it was far bigger than that. Concert tickets were going on sale for P!nk's Truth About Love Tour at precisely 10:00 am and I was gearing up. Needless to say, I logged on and hit the MOTHERLOAD!

I'm not in the 2nd row.
I am in seat 38 in the Pit directly able to touch the heart shaped Stage!
WOOT!!!
Taken the day my ticket arrived via Canada Post: October 4, 2012

Finding it odd that it's a single ticket? I generally go alone. Goob joined me for Prince and Staccs is heading to see Rihanna with me, but I truly enjoy going alone. Believe it or not, when you pay this kind of money for a ticket, everyone around you always has the same passion and enthusiasm. It's absolutely contagious. Plus, a really kick ass single ticket is far easier to land than multiples are. 

Closest I have been to an artist I admire? I could have touched Sheryl Crow on stage - she actually made eye contact. Worst seats I have paid money for? Farthest point possible from the stage at the CNE for The WHO. Best show I've ever seen?  Second row for Don Henley's solo tour.  Biggest ticket purchase surprise? Bryan Adams last year. I liked his show so much I wanted to jump a plane to Winnipeg two weeks later just to take that ride again.

On every single level, music is a passion for me. It's definitely part of who I am as a person. I know it's probably hard to fathom my spending this kind of money for an overnight adventure for myself. (It isn't for the faint of heart that's for sure.) I don't over think it; I love how it makes me feel, and I love that I am disciplined enough to save my money. By budgeting, I can take in three or four experiences a year. What can I say, some women like shoes.

True story; I was having lunch with our installers a week or so ago. I mentioned my travel plans for the next couple of months. They were genuinely excited for me. (They do tease me about my age but they know I like to have fun.)

In mentioning that I was heading into the city to see Rihanna exactly one week after P!nk, Lance jokingly chimed in... "You're going to see Rihanna? HECK, you'll be the oldest person there!" Without missing a beat Brad added; "No she won't... I'm sure someone will bring their grandmother!!" 

Oh, to be in my twenties again. Who am I kidding. I am loving this stage of my 40's just fine!

Sitting separately Staci's Gate ticket is probably better than my Floor ticket.
Have to wait and see...
Taken: October 2012

My Quirky Sidekick!

Me and My Quirky Sidekick Tim
Taken: Spring of 2003

I love people. 

Positive people with positive energy, and I always make the extra effort to keep the silly naysayers at bay. Call me quirky.

I am quirky. Always have been. Always will be. 

Appears my point may be moot because I'm very lucky to have tons of family, friends, as well as varying acquaintances in my life. 

All amazing folks but all these years later, I know I am blessed to still be connected to my one and only Quirky Sidekick!

Tim "Timmy Twos" McAllister came into my life after he graduated from the University of Alabama, and relocated into Muskoka thanks to Mr. Palmer. Just like that we were teamed and inseparable from the start. 

Finance (unlike Accounting) compiled the smallest department within the gigantic machine but it made no matter. Let's face it, when it came to being in the trenches with a boss like Dave Grant, we learned quickly that there was safety in numbers. Even if it meant that number was only two! From the get go, we gelled and kicked some serious ass.

Our synergy was the real deal. A rarity in comparison to most work relationships. Just like myself, after leaving the big Corporate machine, he built a successful business from nothing. When the banks fell, like most consultants, I endured a very tough year. My call for heartfelt advice was to Tim; asking a question, that only someone that had endured what we had, could answer. 

My question: If you had to start over and build it from nothing would you do it again? His answer didn't surprise me. It was no. After several lengthy conversations, I knew that I didn't want to do it again either. I knew he understood first hand the journey I had taken. I hadn't slept through the night in five years.

With some serious geography keeping us apart; the last couple of years, the internet has kept us in touch in place of the telephone. Out of the blue I got an email from him at work on Saturday. I apologized for been lax and asked him to text me his new cell phone number so we can stay closer.

This morning, drafting this post, my phone buzzed and blinked. It was from a number I didn't recognize. I opened it to read "Hi Rhondi!! XO Quirky" all I could do was smile from ear to ear. 

What can I say? We will be together forever in quirkiness. That's a promise I know we are going to keep!

What’s Behind YOUR Fridge?

A couple of weeks ago we got a very sexy new fridge. Actually, we’ve had it for quite awhile, it's just been holding court in the garage for all to see. It seems Canada’s Worst Handyman has been overbooked with public appearances, so the task of installation never got crossed off my list. After a much heated Saturday morning chat (that ended with me bellowing “I am sick and tired looking at that piece of shit”) we established a plan.

In protest; certain kitchen cabinets were removed, others just moved, and a small counter top adjusted. With the opening prepared, out came ye ole fridge. After Bertha was in the middle of the kitchen floor we both looked down to find one lone soldier. It was a wallet size copy of our engagement photo.

Tony had hair and is totally rocking the 'Porn Stash'.
Me? Holy shoulder pads Batman. Nice mullet BTW!!
Taken: December 1st, 1987 

When I flipped over the grungy old pic, my hand writing identified it as just that. It was dated December 1^st, 1987.

As I dusted it off, we both admitted that we remembered the day it taken. I found it amazing that in the midst of all our frustration, we were brought together by a certain moment in time. 

That specific Saturday was the first time in a very long time our gloves were off.

What's the first thing I thought of when I picked up the only soldier under our old fridge?

Poppa reminding me to play nice.

He always was our best mediator!

He Knows The Key To Success...

Well, it’s official. David is moving home. Since he’s made the decision, a couple of full time/year round employment options (in his field) have presented themselves, which keeps him progressing in the direction he ultimately wants to go. I believe this was meant to be. 

David doing his thing as published in NOW Magazine.
Taken: December 13th, 2012

Hang on a second. Let’s back up. 

When Dave was home at Thanksgiving, I encouraged him to make an employment change. Out of respect for GOOB I won’t discuss the details, except to say, at that time he decided not to. Rather than push my point, I continued to unconditionally support. 

A very rough autumn resulted in lots of telephone support as well as a GTA road trip for some much needed "family time". What was our biggest accomplishment that day? He let me buy him a new winter coat. Seriously, he was being far too proud, and it was really pissing me off!

Our boost that day gave him just enough energy to skate into the Christmas break; which is when he announced (at his own accord) that he was ready to make a change. It was wholeheartedly accepted and expected, that once we were back from our Christmas trip, David would transition home.

Well, turns out a week of fun and frolic in the sun (combined with a couple of weeks of solid Muskoka rest) had him return to his apartment and the very job I had hoped he would leave behind months earlier. Upon his return to hell this time, I asked him to make me a deal; call me no matter what, ask for help if needed, and if things didn’t change by the first of April, sincerely entertain a change! He  promised and said “I love you Mom…” A week or so ago, he ultimately decided he was ready.

I know it has been very hard for him to realize that sometimes you need to take a step back and look at the big picture in order to move forward. You know what I mean. Haven't you ever been so busy going through the motions, that you don't bother to try to process what's happening, so the utter dysfunction just keeps perpetuating itself? For him, something finally clicked, and he took a step back.

Because he has done that, I see this as an excellent opportunity for him. I see it as stepping stone to bigger and better things. He's seen personal success first hand, therefore he knows that he can accomplish anything, if he puts his mind to it.

I can't wait for his smile
to return for good!
Taken: December 29th, 2012

This journey solidifies that he is not afraid of a lot of hard work. It's not that he needed to prove anything to us, my joy comes because he has proven it to himself!

Speaking from experience? THAT is the key, that will open every single door, every single time!

I am so very proud of him. Not just because he understands my philosophy about hard work but because he's lived it.

Sky's the limit GOOB.... Don't look back!

Walk A Mile In Peter's Shoes? Never!

I can easily admit that I can walk into a room of 500 strangers and be comfortable. Not only am I very comfortable, but I can openly be myself. For whatever reason, I am at ease around people, and I have been from a very young age. Then there was today.

I’ve had something personal hanging over my head for a long time. I have wanted to deal with it, yet for various reasons, ended up dragging my feet with its closure. It goes back to the height of my large land development phase, so let’s run with the fall of 2006 for all intense “time frame” purposes. Needing it dealt with, I looked outside my inner circle for help. 

I'd met someone a number of years ago, and I unexpectedly bumped into him again this summer. It’s not like we really ever knew each other; heck when I approached him for help, he had no idea who the hell I was. What’s that saying “you never get a second chance at a first impression"? Details aside; I reminded him who I was, told him what I needed, and he agreed to help. Again, we arrive at today.

Peter, how fitting is it that you were with me at the start of my journey and standing beside me at the very end of it? This afternoon you called my writing “eloquent” yet my flair for the written word pale in comparison to what you have accomplished. I am truly in awe (and equally amazed) at how you treat every single person around you. 

My Cottage Walk In w/ Puddin' (front) & Dot (rear)
Taken: January 6th, 2013

I mean it when I say you are a remarkable person. Always willing to help as well as unconditionally willing to go that extra mile. Respect is earned, and you most definitely have mine. 

Thank you so very much. 

OH, before I forget, all my best to you on your journey with Chester!

I have attached a pic of Puddin’ and Dot. You know what they say? Always nice to put a face (I mean fur coat) to a name !!!

Take Care My Friend.

Simply Because I Wanted To Share

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written."

Written by Regina Brett (age 90), 

Cleveland , Ohio.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Oh Those Mike's Milk Days!

So yesterday I was atop the "blah, blah, blah gotta keep moving forward" soapbox and what the hell do I go and do this morning? Climbed into an old High School scrapbook. Where did that find me in an instant? The past! Geeesh, I'm such a Rhondi!

Mike Milk on Manitoba Street
Taken:1982-83ish

As you can imagine my walk down memory lane quickly drifted from my hairstyle and instantly focused on all the young people in my photos. 

Because a lot of them are on my Facebook, I scanned and sent out personal copies. Rhett, Henik, Mike, Allen H and Connie all received copies. Tom, Tim and Allan R have since passed so I just admired those ones fondly.

One person that was a big part
of my High School experience
(to which I have absolutely no idea whatever happened to him) was Andy. 

First and foremost I have to start by saying that the one thing I remember most about Andy was that he hated my mother with a passion and she knew it. Why? Because she felt exactly the same way about him!

Andy R. Working the same shift (as we usually did)
Taken: 1982-83ish

Andy & I met outside the Mike's Milk store on Baysville Rd the first week he moved to town. I remember the day, it was the August before I went into Grade 10. 

We became instant friends and continued working together in the two local stores until the summer I graduated from High School.

I never dated him, because let's face it, I wasn’t allowed. In hindsight though, that's probably why he chased me so hard after high school. Just to piss my mother off! 

Actually, if I remember correctly, we never really connected in that way. Every once and a while throughout 1984 we’d go to the edge but there just wasn’t a single stitch of natural chemistry. Besides, we were best friends, and the thought of it was just really kind of weird. It's a long time ago but I think the friendship came to a close when I started dating Tim. I had dated by now, but Tim was my first true love, and first really serious boyfriend. He was five years my senior.

You know, Andy hasn't crossed my mind in decades, yet I think of Tim all the time. 

We'd never lost touch. In fact, I had chatted with him for about an hour in the grocery store, just three weeks before he passed. I stopped by his grave last spring because some days I find it hard to process that he's gone. Once again proving that life is short.

That said, if anyone happens to run into Andy feel free to tell him I say hello. Oh, and don't forget to mention "that my mother was  REALLY glad the day he left town." I'll bet you fifty bucks he holds his middle finger up to the sky which will immediately be followed by some very severe profanity.

Seriously... She and he shared a strong outspoken bond that way!

Let's just say I completely understand why my
mother never liked him!
Taken: 1984

Life Lesson #457 I've Learned

If there is one thing this silly little blog has taught me, it’s that I am not alone. I have friends of friends of friends that have shared; and I have had people that I have never met reach out, email and comment. What started out as a simple coping mechanism for all the negative energy in my life, has evolved into something I look forward to doing.

For lack of a better reference, it’s mine. Kind of like my flower gardens were when the kids were small. I'd always look forward to some "me time" when I could work away at them in the evening. It was fun. All season long, I would be changing it up. Inserting colour and contour; so at the end of it all, I provided a delightful visual reward, along the front of our home for all to see.

I remember that time in my life fondly. Seems like forever ago, probably because it was. That was then, and this is now. Once again reminding myself that I can’t go back, I can only go forward. Lord knows, I am the first to raise my hand and acknowledge that is easier said than done.

Lessons Learned In Life!

Why? Part and parcel because in the blink of an eye the past can become the present. Which in turn starts the vicious circle over and over again. 

Once jolted back, you inevitably arrive at the “I have to figure out what I really want” card. I hate that card. 

That card, combined with the "is this as good as it gets" question, has caused me more personal angst than I care to admit.

If there’s one thing the last couple of years have taught me is that at the end of it all you realize it just isn’t about you. After all is said and done, it becomes crystal clear that it’s actually the opposite. It's more about everything and everyone around you, that’s what makes up your life. 

Though I understand that one has to make themselves a priority, there is no need to shut everyone out of your life in doing so.  I am a firm believer that it doesn't have to be lonely. After all, you can't change who you are and what you need to be happy. That why it's called "personal happiness." 

It's a journey, a fact finding mission per say, to which I am completely convinced that no matter how hard you look you'll never find a Hollywood or fairy tale ending. That "grass is always greener" thought process? Has a three month euphoric effect max! 

At the end of it all, even if you’re lucky enough to find a tower and a damsel; you’re still going wake up in the morning, there’s going to be shit to be done, bills to be paid, and no matter whom you choose she'll end up bitching at you just the same. That's just the harsh reality at hand.

I remember reading somewhere that people don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. You my friend, know better than most, that I am ME. How crazy is it that I know you'd find me remiss if I didn’t literally cover off all four!

With number one officially checked off my list; my hand, my ear, and my heart are waiting. I will always love you and Good Luck. 

I hope you find what you've been searching for...

Seems I Have Reached The Middle

Mother never told me there'd
be days like these!

I was telling a friend this week that “when you can’t sleep at night it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream.” I joked that "you can imagine my surprise when all along I thought I was waking up because I thought I was having hot flashes!"

Joking aside, last night was awful. I didn’t sleep a wink. I had to physically get up twice because my entire body was drenched. It’s unlike anything I have every experienced before. Lack of sleep leading to exhaustion, combined with some unexpected anxiety, had me sick to my stomach all morning.

As a result, I missed my morning appointment and I have spent the day watching movies. I don’t have an appetite and I have been "flashing" on and off all day. I don’t have a fever but it’s late in the day and I am still unable to sleep.

I'm lethargic, irritable, as well as emotional. I can feel it. I hate it and I just want it to stop!

I haven’t really researched what is going to happen to my body over the next couple of years because let’s face it; I don’t feel middle aged, and I certainly don’t act it. Today has been a bit of a wake-up call telling me that this is something that is officially knocking at my door and I most definitely have zero control over it.

Truth? This morning I was actually wondering if my summer of self-discovery in 2012 was just my body ramping up in preparation to start shutting down. The thought of that does worry me. I know I am not ready, but if I am honest with myself, I know over the last year there have been certain subtle changes. There have been some physical changes as well as some changes in mindset. All I suspect are part of the process. I guess I best start reading to make it as bearable as possible.

I watched four movies while tucked into the love seat at the end of the bed today. Hope Springs is about a couple that go into marriage counselling. Something's Gotta Give is about finding love later in life. And Something to Talk About is about marriage in fidelity and how a couple over comes it. The last was 40 Year Old Virgin.

The final had the greatest impact on me from where I am at this very point in my life. Poor Steve Carell. He waited an entire 40 years to get laid; only to marry someone and he's a minute and a half away from a mid-life crisis, which is to be directly followed my menopause. AND she made his sell all his shit on EBay!

POOR Bastard! That movie isn't a comedy. It could very well be the single biggest tragedy of this century.

Just keepin' it real Peeps...

Who Knew? Zack Knew That's Who!

Let me start by clarifying something very important. That fifteen years ago I would have never anticipated this happening but I have evolved into a very structured person.

I honestly wish that I was still spontaneous but I am not. I use to be; matter a fact I have witnesses to those very fun times. I guess it just seems as I have gotten older, I have folded like a lawn chair.

That said, I had a really great day.

Not because I was expecting a "bad day" I just expected a “same shit, different day Monday in January in Muskoka" is all. As I sit here this evening, I am pleased to report that my day was anything but boring. It was genuinely pretty amazing.

Not only did I get to chat with my two favourite phone friends (they know who they are) but I spent my lunch hour with one of my very closest friends. NO, Smartie didn’t fly in from Whitehorse for lunch but this was a close second.

Zack Smith and I have been friends for what feels like forever. We both have a mutual love of golf and we are very like minded; our spouses are very similar in nature, our children are the same ages, so naturally it's a great friendship fit. Only problem? Not a single one of us is spontaneous!

I should mention that as a couple they've been front of mind this past weekend. They just lost their five year old purebred dog to leukemia last Friday; and just like Tony and I, their dogs have aided in the coping with their empty nest.

Then, out of the blue, he text me this morn and invited me for lunch. It’s not that a lunch invite is abnormal for me but in all this time that has never happened. Honestly? I almost said no; because let's face it, I'd brought my Monday leftover lunch to work. Staring at my phone, I realized that something must be amiss for him to unexpectedly invite me to lunch. Simply because he's far more structured than I'll ever be.

Spontaneity aside, I can`t help but wonder if my lunch invite came because he knows we have always had the ability to make each other laugh. True to form; for an entire lunch hour we were in the total comfort of our friendship. We laughed and laughed and laughed. 

I love to laugh. I need to laugh. How cool was our spontaneous euphoria? VERY! Hope we do it again soon. I wonder if he'll give me more notice next time?

Hey Dad… Guess What I Found?

Thanks again Habitat Restore!
Taken: January 12th, 2013

After my Mom died, that following summer Dad and I packed his house up of any extras he felt he wouldn't use. Because he wasn’t ready to donate the items, we loaded up his car, and shipped the boxes to the lake.

The next time I arrived at Camp, I noticed he had personally saved the gold painted Petro Canada Olympic glasses from a life in storage. He had neatly placed all of them on the shelf with all of the other mismatched glassware. 

From that very moment, those glasses became the ‘Official Holder of Rhondi’s Camp Spirits’. Over the years, one by one they slowly broke, until there was only one left.

When Dad died, we had his girlfriend help herself to whatever she wanted, as they had been partners on and off for almost 20 years. I remember being emotional when she took MY very last glass. 

I mean that in jest. We never really noticed that the other used the same glass until there was only one left. So you can imagine those last few summers at Camp had that particular glass on the hot seat.

It started late one afternoon when I spied her pouring herself a glass of beer. In the whiniest voice imaginable, and at the top of my lungs, I yelled "Daaaaaaaaaddddddy! She's using my glass!!  We all howled with laughter. That moment in itself was the start of it all, it was on! I really do recall being disappointed at the discovery it was gone; but the matter a fact was, it was just as much hers, as it was mine. 

When the Habitat Restore opened here a few years ago I was given hope. I’d see several styles of the same series of glasses being donated but never the one that I used to love at Poppa’s Camp. I am almost embarrassed to admit that my quest had me check the Restore every single Saturday morning for over a year.

My hard work paid off because I eventually hit the mother load. I was estatic when I finally discovered a set of four of MY glasses in amazing condition. Two stayed home and two made their way to Orillia Lake. The two at home suffered a brutal death by dishwasher so one was borrowed from the cottage. The third dishwasher homicide had only the one at the cottage alive and well. It too eventually got broken. That was the summer of 2010.

I stopped going to the Restore every Saturday but when I did happen to stop in I would always check. Last Saturday there was only one. It was very well worn; and by its faded gold logo, I can tell it had survived a life in the dishwasher, only to find its way to me.

I know it's a silly story but it's true. Every time I open the glassware cupboard and see it, or pick it up and move it, I'll think of my Dad. I can hear his voice. The sound of his laughter. Most of all I hear the shuffle of his feet in his slipper two sizes too large.

I have tears in my eyes as I type. All over a silly little glass. Who knew? My entire family that's who!

Jaysen, Jukebox, Loretta (using MY glass), Goob,
Poppa, Shannyn & Tony with Staccs
Taken: August 1995

Weight Loss Comes from Everywhere

This time last year? I was hugging a loveable bed hogging beagle with great anticipation of a very luxurious island vacation. Where am I at this year? I tend to spend the majority of my time chastising a very destructive yellow lab pup, and this week my tentative island vacation time was cancelled.

OK, in The Bossman's defence, cancelled is a strong word. Postponed is more like it. Luckily he and I discovered the conflict before any of "the very hard earned money" he pays me was ever spent! Said conflict, combined with the fact that I have no desire to fly out in the next minute and a half, resulted in my choice to postpone. 

With travel front of mind (for whatever reason) I was looking at the bazillion pictures I took from last year’s vaycay. I had some very mixed emotions when I returned home. That said, just like anything, anyone's perspective can change with time.

I was 20lbs heavier in 2012. I am 500lbs lighter in 2013.
Taken: February 27th, 2012

When it comes to my trip to Jamaica last year; my opinion today is not what it was a year ago, I know it shifted again six months ago, and after looking at my pictures this week... again it's further evolved. 

I remember being wound tighter than a top when the plane landed and it took me more than four days to decompress. (A series of upsetting emails had me pre-occupied and as a result I couldn't sleep.) 

That said, in chatting with an electronic friend this week, I was adamant that I didn't want to return to Jamaica. Not because I didn't love the island, the people, and the experience; but  because I didn't want to become complacent. So many places to go. So many people to meet. You know the deal. 

After thinking about it further, I know that I really do want to return. I want to return to the island without the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to return without the need to have all the answers by the time I return. Most of all, I want to return with a true desire to unconditionally enjoy my surroundings. I will promise to leave work behind as well we any bullshit at home. I'll simply board the plane in a sundress and flip flops and kick some serious ass!

It's such a cliché when one says that "hindsight is always 20/20" in this case it is. I'm not going to blame my eyesight but it appears in the last couple of years I'd developed a squint. At first I thought it was just old age. Turns out I just needed to change my focus.

Peace Out Negil. You haven't seen the last of me yet!

Lights Camera Action!

Puddin' checking out some cottage movie options...
Taken: January 6th,2013

Believe it or not, I am an "extreme" movie buff. I love to watch and collect movies but most of all I love to talk movies with a like minded addict.

That's a strong statement but I think I come by my obsession honestly. All these years later I can still remember my first movie experience. My mother took me to see Disney's The AristoCats. I was five. 

From a very young age my mother had me well versed in the different movie genres, so I guess it's  only fitting that I received my very first kiss in the Norwood Theatre.

To be clear, those were the days when the Norwood was a "classic movie theatre." You know, the fact that you could hear the film rolling in the projector, combined with the obvious, which is it wasn't three individual bowling alleys!

Anyway, when my Dad accepted a job in Muskoka in 1972, we had the Norwood and a grand total of two and a half channels on the television set for movie entertainment

When more television channels eventually followed, TVO (TV Ontario) was by far my mothers favourite. Elwy Yost & Saturday Night at The Movies, immediately became "our thing". I still remember seeing North By Northwest & Roman Holiday for the very first time, and as a result to this day I can never resist watching a black and white film.

I have no problem admitting that no matter how old I get, I will always love to curl up in bed and watch certain movies.  My favourite flicks just seem to comfortably wrap their arms around me and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They always have... and I know they always will.

How do I reward the unconditional love my flicks give me? Gifting! Be it a movie ticket, a video tape, a DVD or a download; Santa, the Easter Bunny, as well as birthday parties have always had my children tarred to the same walking stick I carry. They are movie buffs.

I find it interesting that and just like their mother, and my mother before me, we all get hooked on (and sucked into) a really great story!

Rhondi & David's Excellent Adventure

Well, the text came in late morning. The Seven Sisters Islands were supposedly still frozen; if I wanted/had to get over there, air boat was my only option. I called my quirky sidekick (on this mission) Dave, and together we hatched a plan. 

Photo Cred totally goes to Dave Kaye and his extra long reach!
Taken: January 13th, 2013

Neither of us had ever travelled by air boat so I was quite comfortable admitting that I was a bit nervous. 

Nerves may have been the case at the pier but they totally disappeared once I was comfortably tucked in and we pulled into open water.

Two words? VERY COOL!

Because the sound of the engine's so loud we had to wear headsets. I am sure they are meant to double as hearing protection, because you could instantly hear and feel the power of this yellow machine.

Once we were moving I was trying to listen to the guys talk about the mechanics of this neat thingamayjiggy I was moving in; it's unique versatility (giving Chris and his wife the ability to live on an island year round in Muskoka) but I was preoccupied. The breathtaking view surrounding me had my undivided attention.

I love fog, and heading toward the Seven Sisters could have been a scene from a movie. It wasn't only the amazing view that made today memorable. It's the fact that I would never take the experience for granted. Hell, I never take any experience I have for granted... but today was a very personal mission as well as a rewarding one.

With our mission accomplished (and my guided tour complete) it dawned on me that this area of the lake has been David's home his entire life. That said, as the leader for the next generation of his family business, I knew our limo ride had him curious. When walking together across the front lawn, I him heard yell to our chauffeur... "Do you make a lot of these trips?"

Thanks Chris Hoag. You're the BEST!
Taken: January 13th, 2013

To which I instantly interjected “Not really... He only does it for very desperate women that beg him really late on Friday afternoons!” 

Seriously, if I had to pay a dime for every man I ever had to beg? I’d owe at least $1,765.90 from last Friday alone and one other other dime.

Ya curious? All I am going to say is that I know I’ll never see him again. That, and the fact that in this instance my glass is more than half full.

Why? Because the lads loss is obvious. I'm keeping his dime!

I Am Blessed To Have A Doug!

Thank goodness this work week is over! I’m never one to wish my time away but this week was absolutely brutal. I had a big problem. Everywhere I turned I hit a roadblock. Every roadblock I faced I hit a dead end. If another week like this comes around before the next Halley’s Comet, it’ll be far too soon.

For every difficult person I have in my life...
I know I have a Doug!

I don’t think I am alone when I say that I have people in my work life that just grind the friggin’ crap right out of me. 

Not the “Oh my God, that's totally HOT” kinda grind; rather they tend to be the “totally unreasonable and I stopped listening to you at hello” kinda grind. Yup, the '80's Patrick Swayze vibe is definitely not the grind I feel when it comes to these folks!

Glass half full? I am elated how my work week ended and I am pleased to report that I can take something positive away from today. I am an extremely grateful gal.

Rhondi's Coles Note Version:

I have to get to a boathouse on an island this weekend. It's January. In Muskoka. The water is dangerously open and must be respected.

When I started to call in my markers, I made my obvious phone calls. So many people tried to help but I was shocked to find that the people I thought would unconditionally help did not. It was those that had no vested interest in my plight that moved mountains (or ice) for me today. Not because they had something to gain, but because they knew if the table were turned, I would do the very same for them.

Short story long? A perfect stranger came to my rescue today. Someone I have never met before, and they are transporting me with their Airboat this coming Sunday afternoon. The most amazing part of my story is that this stranger is an acquaintance (four layers removed) from the original call I made for help. 

Chris is helping me (not because I wasn't above begging but) because my original loop was created by a specific person within an unbelievable network. Seriously, because of that person, everyone just kept paying it forward to help him, which in turn was helping me. That statement right there honestly illustrates just how well respected my friend is.

With my eyes wide open (and a much better feel for the people I have surrounded myself with) I want to shout out a personal thank you. Thank you Doug. Thank you for being you. Most of all, thank you for being my friend.

I love ya Bud! 

I'm Not Superficial - I'm Practical.

After a relaxing and rejuvenating day yesterday I managed to sit down last night and focus on where I want to take my winter trip. I know, I know, you’re going to say “you just got back" but fortunate for me, a VERY unexpected Christmas bonus, paid for my dogs play date on the ocean. So, the money I had so diligently saved for that can now be put to something I know I really need... A rockin' hot tan!

WOW! Just right there... Could I have sounded anymore superficial?!? I think not!

I know what I want & I want what I know.
Taken: February 28th, 2011
Negril, Jamaica

Seriously, as you know, I’ve never been an island hopper. In fact, the only reason the money was spent on Jamaica last year was because I received a substantial performance bonus in the form of a travel voucher (from a supplier, not my employer).

Believe it or not, I honestly try to not to spend money I don’t have. I always try to pay myself first and sometimes that’s really hard to do. 

I’m not a shopper per say (online or otherwise) and except for the indulgence of a really great concert ticket I am a very "stay within my means" kinda gal. 

I do have a couple of rules I live by. I try to never go into a grocery store hungry so that I don’t over spend. I make lunch & dinner menus every Sunday so that there is never any waste. And I pay bills once a week so that I don’t get hammered at the end of the month. I don’t think of myself as frugal, I just think of myself as practical.

Back to the idea of a trip; truth of the matter is, in all aspects of my life, I am a really picky person. It's as simple as I know what I want and I want what I know. So while surfing the internet last night I came to the realization that the whole "last minute thing" may not be the perfect fit for me. I’m not entirely sure I can get on a plane and hope for the best without doing the research prior. I did a lot of reading before I chose a resort last year. Truth of the matter? I like the fact that my 2011 travel experience had me brushing my teeth using water from the tap.

That may sound kinda petty but food and water quality are extremely important to me. For one week a year I love the idea of basking in the sun with a book, enjoying really good food, and minimizing any/all risk of getting ill. Just so you know, I'm not entirely closed off and without an adventurous side. For the first time in my life last year I took the leap and enjoyed authentic Jamaican jerk chicken.

Because chicken is a personal favourite, I know for a fact there will be even more chicken served this year. Guess at this point, I'm just not sure on which island that’s going to happen, nor exactly just how it will be seasoned. Maybe this year I will go for sweet rather than spicy. 

Best start reading on how specific Caribbean Islands prepare chicken and go from there. I'll keep ya posted!

Somethings In Life Will Never Add Up...

Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt really alone? You know, where certain things are happening around you and it’s feels like déjà vu? You think you’ve been in the scene and heard the dialogue before; yet hoped it was only a bad dream? You just really wanted to stop the ride and get the hell off? Well that was me last night and it was awful.

Because let's face it
No matter how many times
you try to do the math...
somethings will never add up
the way you think they should!

I absolutely hate when my day turns on a dime. You know, when a really great day changes instantly to a “ya gotta be f*ching kidding me" evening! 

I am honestly sitting here, fourteen hours later, and I’m still shaking my head and rolling my eyes. 

With my marbles clanging around my cranium; I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what you do, and how hard you try, you can’t please all the people in our life, all of the time. 

I get that it's human nature to want to but trust me you can't. I’ve done the math. Long version. Yup, after over two years of calculation, I know firsthand that it’s completely and utterly impossible. 

With this big storm cloud over my head I guess the one big question this morning is why is it that after all these "life lessons" I boast about learning that I still can’t comprehend why certain situations (and people for that matter) bring out the worst in me? I guess the even bigger question for me personally is... Do I care?

Glass half full? I'm not going to dwell. I am going to dig out my showshoes and head over to the golf course. I'll go alone. I'm not afraid to be alone. Two years ago I could have never fathomed the thought of that. Whatever, guess it just blows that at the end of the day, one word describes my mood best this morning. 

It starts with F and ends in UCK. Trust me peeps it’s not firetruck!