R IS FOR REUNION

For the first time in more than three years, we hit the road (as a family) for a day trip this past weekend. I don’t know about you, but getting the exclusive time of five full time working adults coordinated, can be a real pain in the ass. We were going, we weren't… We were going, we weren't. Ay Carumba!

With everything finally aligned by mid-morning yesterday, I was excited. We were all going to have some serious family face time...and not the kind you receive courtesy of your iPhone.  

L'il ole me capturing a moment... While my husband captures ours.
TAKEN: APRIL 20th, 2014

You’ll be proud to know that even though I brought the camera into the restaurant where we had lunch, I held my extreme picture taking urges at bay.

A couple of hours in, with beautiful Lake Simcoe as our backdrop, I began to snap away like a drug addict in need of a hit.

The tricky part for me's that I never usually take just one picture with one camera. As I worked through the stash in my purse, I realized that my kids have become conditioned to my affliction. 

I just can't seem to help myself!

Being the last of four children with older parents, my mother passed and there was little evidence of my childhood. (The biggest item missing, was a family photo.) I'm not suggesting that my children live in the past... but I would like them to have the ability to reminisce together once we're gone. 

Besides, yesterday was an official reunion right?

Who the hell am I kidding... my kids could be embroiled in a full out round of fisticuffs and I'd still want to take their picture. Because in my books,  'remember the time when...?' 

Is always a PERFECT Sunday Supper conversation starter!

My final effort.... Aren't they all just absolutely amazing!!!
TAKEN: APRIL 20th, 2014

O IS FOR OBJECTIVITY

I believe as people age and accumulate more life experiences, their true sense of who they are and what they want tightens. At the risk of sounding corny, I feel every life experience, no matter how small, becomes a part of who we are. Which is why, it takes a combination of both time and experience, to become objective and develop a compass for perspective.

Professionally, objectivity has never been an issue for me. I’ll lobby for my beliefs, but at the end of the day, it’s the person that I am reporting too that signs my paycheck. So, being objective has always been, pretty much a no brainer. Unless of course, it effected my personal well being.

The opposite side, to the ease of that slope, is how I have to dig deep to find that same fairness toward a situation, when it comes to my husband, my children, my dogs (hell, any/all dogs) or our home. I’m sure it has something to do with the need to nurture and protect but that's not my point.

Their bond is so very strong and powerful. It's amazing to witness.
TAKEN: AUGUST 2007 

My daughter is going through one of the toughest challenges that she’s faced in her life to date. 

As a family, we've all unconditionally rallied to her support, but that still doesn't change the shitty situation at hand. Which is, it involves a person... that we all want to shake the living snot right out of! 

Verrrry... Slowly... Enters ...OBJECTIVITY. 

I’m proud that it’s me that has taken the lead on this one. I've never been this calm, which tells me I'm still evolving. My husband and she are so fiercely close, that some days I feel that he is taking this as hard as she is. Her brothers, the same. Each have a different resolution in mind, but none will help our daughter heal any quicker. Which goes back to my opening ramble.

It’s been my personal experience that one can only gain objectivity from a series of life changing events. The sad part is, the ones we learn the most from?

…Friggin’ SUCK experiencing!

A Family Day of Reflection

I am not proud to admit that I have zero contact with my three older siblings.

Different life choices are probably what created the gigantic chasm but my Dad passing was most definitely what sealed our long term fate. It’s not like the distance happened immediately, I guess we all made a series of individual/personal decisions over time.

As parents, we make choices every single day on the philosophies we decide to instil in our children; those choices will ultimately last a lifetime. I know in our home, we chose to constantly reinforce that no matter how much they bickered, one day they would cherish the bond they had as siblings. My husband and I continually reminded that they would always have each other and therefore their respect for one and other should always be carefully nurtured.

The Power of 3 - Summer Lovin' Poppa's Camp!
Taken: July 1995

From the very beginning we've always cautioned them that we could never force them to be friends.

Only they could make the specific choices to unconditionally love and support one and other as they matured.

Look at my picture (snapped almost 20 years ago on their Poppa's dock).

That amazing bond, though tested at times, has had them communicating more with one and other more than with my husband and I by a mile. To be honest, after the journey I have taken with my siblings I'm a little envious. It makes me somewhat reflective actually.

I sometimes wonder if the demise of my relationships with my own siblings is why I've evolved into the crazy dog lady. In some way, shape, or form, maybe I was meant to be surrounded by a gigantic pack of love without a stitch of drama, rivalry, or ulterior motivation.

What can I say?... I'll start with the fact that I am so proud of my three children for getting it right. We may have led by planting the example seed; but in the end, they made it look easy, which is definitely the silver lining never to be taken for granted.

Happy Family Day. Here's to you and yours... and a million more.

Cheers...

Bring it 2014

Walking into the cottage today I was playfully talking to myself aloud. Relax. I am told that as long as I don’t answer myself back the exercise is really quite normal.

Comfortable in my stride, I started listing significant month my month moments that summarized my past year. Some moments truly made me sad, yet others scored a very loud HELL YA...  Quickly followed by a glass half full Giddy UP!

2013 offered all of us a quiet yet cherished milestone...

Here's the skinny on my year in review...

My 2013 low point was a blind side experienced in Life Lesson #457 posted last January.

My high point was most definitely A Quiet Milestone posted in October. Thank you again my amazing Jukebox...

My biggest surprise of 2013 was never discussed as a post.

It quietly arrived in the form a friendship in the early Spring of 2013. Sound business advice (combined with them being solid sounding board) gets this person a significant 2013 nod from me.

Award ceremony aside, I have to admit that what's trending on Twitter tonight is very true. Tomorrow will offer the first blank page of  a 365 page book to be written.

The best part about that specific challenge is I feel I am starting 2014 at peace with myself, my family, my life, as well as my business skill set.

I like that... I LIKE THAT A LOT!

Happy New Year and thank you ALL so very much for reading.

My Fantastic Four!

WOW... Who knew my quitting my job would create such a kerfuffle? Out and about in town today I was a little surprised that everyone wanted to chat about my change in employment status. What can I say? I quit my job. People do it every single day.

Trust me, my biggest shock isn't the plethora of calls received to ensure my Christmas bonus will be delivered in a timely fashion, rather it's the unconditional cheerleading & emotional support I have received from my family. 

MY FANTASTIC FOUR
Taken: July 2009

Though we've truly had our challenges over the last couple of years, my grown children have proven to me just how solidly bonded we are. You can quit a job but a family is forever.

All three children have offered me both insight & help. As for my husband, he just keeps telling me he loves me because he truly understands that the right thing has happened.

I fear my children think my decision was made in haste. This post is to reassure them that it was not. They need to know that their father wanted me to take an offer made last August but I truly thought that common (business) sense would prevail and the bullshit would pass.

Don't get me wrong. I understand that it's always hard on a man's ego when a woman is selected to join a fledging team for her skill set, leadership ability, and knowledge of how to quickly increase profitability. Truth of the matter is that most men in business have a selective memory. Once the dark days are over, 99% of the time, it always comes down to one of two things: your last name, and whether or not you have an appendage. 

I know, I know, most of you think I already have bigger balls than most men. And though that statement may have some truth to it, I can assure you that my confidence in business has always been used for GOOD, and never for evil. Staying and continuing to take a large salary (while watching a lot of hard work unravel, telling people what they want to hear) was NEVER be an option for me.

I am very proud that we can assure our children that everything is going to be A-OK. I want them to understand that I harbour no ill feelings about the time I invested with the company I have just left; but more importantly, I want them to know that I LOVE them all very much. As expected: onward & upward was all she wrote.

That, and that soda pop's on sale at Wal-Mart this weekend.

BA-DUMP-BUMP!

Bah, Humbug? I HOPE NOT!

The only thought worse than Black Friday for me? When my very favourite radio station switched to Christmas tunes 24-7. Not because I hate the melodious songs; rather, I swear it signals the chip that's been implanted in my brain. The one heralding me to feel obligated to feed money into that retail shopping vortex that returns each and every year.

I honestly can't stand when I read/hear the media outlets tell me that “the average Canadian will spend $629 on holiday shopping this year”. Not because it affects my thought process but because it plants the marketing seed to the masses that if you don’t spend at least that, you are not considered an average Canadian. That thought right there just pisses me off!

Heading back to my hotel... Sore feet and all.
Taken: November 30th, 2013

For very personal reasons I ended up in downtown Toronto this weekend. And, just like clockwork, I wandered into Dundas Square.

What can I say? There were people everywhere. Why? Because the emotional chips had been activated and there were amazing deals to be found. Truth? I purchased very little. 

If I walked into a store with two cashiers and a line up greater than ten shoppers I walked out. Not because they didn't have something I could have gifted or enjoyed myself;  but if they couldn't staff the store properly (on the busiest sales weekend of the year) they didn't deserve my business.

That may be harsh to read but at the end of the day the last thing we are as a family is materialistic. Truth of the matter is, I've never worried whether or not I'd personally spent the $629 on holiday gifting or not... yet I DO wholeheartedly consider us 'an average Canadian family'.

I guess as I witnessed Canadians gravitate and embrace the hype of a silly Americanized holiday shopping culture, I worry that our 'average Canadian family' status may very well be a dying breed.

...That is quickly becoming extinct!

That AMAZING Summer Of 2002...

The summer of 2002 was the only summer we ever lived at Orillia Lake as a family.
I snapped a ton of photos that summer. This has always been one of my all time favourites.
Taken: July 2002

I worked Saturday morning. Afterwards, we unexpectedly landed at the cottage.

When I finally hauled my ass out of bed this morning, I changed the beds, washed the floors, and packed up the dirty laundry. As I was putting the mop and pail back in the boy’s room, for the first time this summer, I was reminded of our harsh reality. All of our children have completely moved on. 

While admiring the door trim in the bedroom documenting their change in height, I knew I wanted to remove it. Not because we have any intention of selling the cottage, but because I want to apply a clear coat to preserve it. All of those colours, and all of that ink, are very significant to me as a mother. I remember making the marking a spring ritual. It makes me sad that the summer of 2013, was the first year the bedroom door trim saw zero documentation.

I remember my American friend Brad saying "I don't keep photos... I have absolutely no desire to live in the past." Personally, I am the total opposite.

Not that I want to live my life in the past, but I really do believe that a picture is worth 1,000 words. Words that get expressed the instant the photo was taken, then ten fold (by every single admirer) once that photo gets shared. Sharing a photo, is what makes it so special.

Today, I feel my photo is worth a million words. It personally takes me back in time. Over a decade later, to me... I feel, that it looks like a album cover. That said, what was a great vinyl album cover always guaranteed to do? Tell a kick ass great story, about a specific moment in time.

The summer of 2002 was a very special one for us. You can see the happiness, as well as the personal confidence in every single one of them. We were very happy that summer; music, movies,  and board games defined us as a family.

Hell, look at Jukebox. Was he always destined to be a Rockstar? Judging by this photo, all three were meant to grace a cover, and they just did.

It may not be a vinyl album cover (or the cover of the Rolling Stone) but it's the cover of our family album. Trust me, it's one of the most intricately complicated albums ever written.

... I dare every single reader to admit that theirs is not!

Ring Around The Rosie... I Mean Rhondi

I got out of the shower this morning, dressed for work, opened my jewelry box and put my wedding rings on. You’re probably thinking that would be a normal routine for me, but the truth of the matter is that I haven’t worn my rings since 2010. 

Prior to that, I had gained weight and getting them on and off became a struggle. Then, in the fall of 2010, I started to evaluated my life. In turn, I completely changed my approach to food, exercise, relationships, and my overall  day to day lifestyle.

Doing all of that led me to questions. Infinite questions about how I/we got to a particular juncture at that moment in time. In turn, once I finally got healthy, I didn't bother putting my rings back on. 

Our Wedding Day
Taken: June 1988

Do you know that in all these years, only one person has ever asked me the question "why don't you wear your wedding rings?"

God Bless my friend Dean. I remember briefly sharing why I wasn't wearing them, and he asked me one simple question: "Have the two of you ever been to counselling?" My answer was "no".

Then he said something that I'll never forget. "Why not? ...You take your car in for a check-up, why wouldn't you do the same for your marriage?"

I remember not having the answer. I just shrugged my shoulders and changed the subject. That significant moment was well over a year and a half ago.

Just so we're clear, it's not like we got up this morning (and with the flip of a switch) our life had turned into lollipops and unicorns. Truth of the matter is that today has been a long time coming, and has taken a lot of really hard work. Work by me, my husband, our children, and even a very few supportive family and friends. 

Why finally today? I have been telling my husband all summer "I have to start wearing my wedding rings again... I have to start wearing my wedding rings again... I have to start wearing my wedding rungs again" then Tuesday night happened.

I was over in Haliburton for an HHBA dinner meeting. One of the association members thought I was "with" the co-worker that I attended the meeting with. A couple of years ago I would have said nothing, Tuesday I felt the need to respond. "I'm not with him" I said. I've been married for 25 years, and my husbands name is Tony". Driving home, I knew it was time.

Wearing my rings got the opposite reaction my not wearing them got. Every single person at work today noticed. My boss even commented, inviting Tony (out of the blue) to a team event we are hosting in October. Who's the one person that never noticed? My husband.

...But that's another post!

Tootsie n’ Me & Corey Hart Made Three!

I know I can’t be the only one that feels that the best times are always had when spur of the moment planning falls into play. I had a great weekend and the amount of planning it took to pull it off was pretty much non-existent.

As I have mentioned before I have a very large extended family. Social media gives us the opportunity to stay in touch, but outside of weddings and funerals, we rarely make the effort to see each other. When I finally got to wrap my arms around my cousin Saturday afternoon, it felt like we'd been face to face just yesterday. It was amazing.

Because I worked Saturday, we were late getting things on track. To compound that, Mother Nature was a being bit of a bitch, so there were very few UV rays to be found. We didn't care. 

Sing it SISTA!
♪♫♪♫... We wear our sunglasses at night.... ♫♪♫♪
Taken: August 31st, 2013

After a boat ride and a yummy steak dinner, we ended up congregating where 99% of our friends (and our kids friends) wind up on Saturday night; in the kitchen with the tunes cranked. 

As the music played, the memories and the spirits flowed. It may have been a little chilly outside, but things were warm and fuzzy and fun inside. 

Because I work so much, when I get any time to myself, I am the first to acknowledge that I am an uber boring person. I talk to my dogs like they are people, I read, and I take scads of photos. As a couple we do entertain, but it's usually only dinner, an afternoon get together, or a quick overnighter. Marylynn was an anomaly, she spent the entire weekend.

As the thunder rolled this morning we headed up the hill; and as I hugged her in the rain, I was truly glad she'd made the trek. We've been literally getting together for the last three years and never had. 

Lookin' Good Tootsie!
Taken: September 1st, 2013

"Stay in touch on Facebook" she said as she got in her car. Then it dawned on me, it's Facebook that has made us feel as though no time had lapsed.

Blowing her kisses and waving as our cars pulled away from one and other it hit me. Making the effort the first time is always the hardest. 

Next time, it may be me that heads to her. I just have to somehow find the time to do it. 

Actually? I just simply NEED to make the time to do it!

Nuf said!

She's On The Move ~ LOOK OUT!

There are five or six fridge magnets that have been in full view at our cottage since we bought the place in 1999. My very favourite reads... The only place where SUCCESS comes before WORK is in the dictionary. Today my daughter proved the purchase a worthwhile investment!

Here's the deal. Bright and early this morning (less than a week since starting her search) Staci began her very first full time job. It's located an hour south of here, and the plan is that she will couch surf in her new home. Couch surf until we move and unpack her belongings (while she attends orientation for her second part time job) this coming Sunday afternoon. 

It's hard to believe that this is the third time she's moved out in the last four years. Each time has offered her a new adventure. Each has added a chapter to her life that she'll always draw from. Not gonna lie, this time feels a little odd. There were no tears to be had, and this morning walking into her new place of employment she showed ZERO fear. Instead, just her trademark quiet confidence. A wonderful confidence that has blossomed out of her personal need to keep growing and keep moving forward.

I know better than most that it takes a significant moment in life to change an embedded thought process. Sometimes you might want to question a person's unexpected shift, in this instance we did not. We offered lots of support and openly explained that though we'd never see her go hungry, our paying for her adventure was not an option.

Chillin' (playing SkipBo) in South Carolina
Taken: April 29, 2013
Photo Cred: My SIS

What can I say? She dug in her heels, saved her money, and she showed us an unconditional determination I never knew she had.

She may not be the extrovert that I am, but she's definitely goal oriented & fiercely driven.

If I were you?

I'D LOOK THE HELL OUTTA THE WAY!

She's Kickin' Ass & Takin' Names!

For about the last year I have been asking myself how do I start explaining solid "life lessons?” In this particular instance, it came to fruition about a month ago. My daughter is moving an hour South in a minute and a half, and though it’s been a rich topic of discussion, it has also had me worried. Worried until about 9:15am this morning.

Let me back up. She graduated from her chosen career path in the Spring of 2012. She returned home after finishing school because she wasn’t ready to enter the workforce without the comforts of home. After a year of said comfort, she is returning to where she went to school to start her career, partially because she’s sick of home. I couldn't be more proud.

She has a plan. A pretty friggin’ great plan if you ask me. Honestly, I have never watched her be more self-confident in her entire life. She knows what she wants and by golly she’s going out there to get it.

She never misses a ball game.
How nice is it she waited for his season to end?

Taken July 11th, 2013

With her Dad riding shotgun, they ventured out with the thirty two resumes in hand. She hand delivered most, landed two interviews and has three solid leads on positions in the next couple of weeks.

Tonight brings emotion that I have spoken of before but for the first time today I realize is a hard reality. My job here is done. 

Way to go Staci. I knew you’d totally kick ass today.

YUP, my Sweetie kick some, and had them take her name!

GIDDY UP GIRLFRIEND!!

READY - SET - JO!

When you truly know someone. You've been blessed.
GO Thelma & Louise... I mean Rhondi & Jo!
Taken: July 23rd, 2013

For my entire life, my cousin Joanne and I have been as close as sisters and stayed tighter than your best tied knot. 

As kids, living over 100 miles apart we were serious Public School Pen-Pals. Then, while I figure skated off season at Double Rinks, we were 'summer roomies' through high school. 

We definitely did the college commute thing to a tee, and she's lived in Muskoka since 1990 when she married (one of my husband's best buds whom she met at our 1988 wedding). 

Harsh reality is that I see her less than my Maytag repairman. Really harsh reality? ALL of my appliances are made by General Electric!

What can I say? She’s one of the hardest working women I have ever known and connecting sometimes seems impossible. We chat and text every single day but because of our very busy lives we rarely make the effort to connect face to face. Our homes are about a mile apart.

Yesterday, on a spur, she and I did lunch. We were in the zone. That very same zone we have known our entire lives. As I held up my phone, I asked her to throw me up a peace sign, and without hesitation she did. It was like we were fourteen years old again riding our bikes down Marshall Park to the Mini Putt. We were together. We were us. Once again ready to rule the world!

What can I say other that this gal has always made me feel I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. She will ALWAYS be my hero. In two words?

Lucky me!

Congratulations Auntie Cai!

My Auntie Cai is at the tippy top of the heap in my books. You know the type? She defines "the kind of person I want to be when I grow up!" Though I know she'll smile at my humour, she knows that I've always had an absolute respect for her from a very young age. 

My Auntie Cai at her 80th Birthday Party
Taken: November 2012

She’s 80 now, which makes no matter when it comes to her (because 80 is her new 60). I am proud to announce that she was just named the Lucile C. Jolette Volunteer of The Year, in the town where she has lived almost her entire life.

After reading the article that was written for her in the local newspaper I was moved. I can envision her accepting her award. She'd be humble for sure,  but I would hope she would have accepted her award with bells on.

She has the most amazing bells: dressed to the nine’s, she'd be wearing a smile that would score low as a twelve on a scale of one to ten. What can I say? She has a great spirit and this indescribable energy! 

She's smart, honest, fair, but most of all (growing up with a mother that was stringent) she's always been bat shit crazy fun. Don't get me wrong;  she'd  listen to your plight, hold you accountable for your crap, but always help you find the way. She'd help you understand the really hard journeys, and make you will yourself strong enough to take them. At least I know she did that for me.

I wish I could share the article written in her honour. It wraps up with “Cai is tenacious and faithful to causes to which she invests her time…” I am so very proud to be one of those causes. I am proud to admit that I've raised my kids the way she helped raise me; hands on, with honesty, support, and great lines of open communication. She showed me the way, and for that I am forever grateful.

Congratulations on being named Volunteer of the Year Auntie Cai. Just like your own, I love you very much.

V Is For... VACATIONS

April 25th, 2013 - VACATIONS
Taken: April 22/13

V - VACATIONS:

A - Always

C - Cherished

A - And a

T - Truly

I - Indulgent

O - Offering of much

N - Needed

S - Sunshine, Sleep, Shopping & Smiles....

VACATIONS!

M Is For... MARTY's

April 15th, 2013
Taken: October 7th, 2012

Isn’t it funny how you remember some things so vividly, that when you close your eyes and think, it’s like you can be in that very moment again? 

That's me and the day I took this picture. It was just a great day all around. It was Thanksgiving weekend. 

Goob was home from the city, the sun was shining, and the five of us strolled down the entire main street together. In and out of stores, laughing & enjoying an amazing day.

Tony, the twins, and I, accounted for four. My very best electronic friend was our 5th. 

I remember the exact moment I held up my phone to take this photo. I immediately sent a copy via BBM, then I stood there telling my family our story about why Asians don’t eat Marty’s World Famous tarts.

Just like that it was as if the five of us were in the very same moment together. In that specific instant, he wasn’t commenting via text, he was giving my son a high five, and asking my husband how the hell he’d put up with me all these years!

It’s funny how people come into your life. Some stay, some don’t. Then there are those you connect with that you wish you could experience life with but can’t. Friends since around this time last year, by the end of last summer, Tony would ask “is that B you’re chatting with?” Of course my answer was usually "yes".

As expected, the novelty of texting and photo sharing wore off, but we do still correspond via email. Tony and I still speak about him regularly, now a days (when I mention him at home) about the only thing Tony doesn’t say is… "Tell him I say hello.”

Probably just as well he doesn't live around here. Let's face it, Tony has always been way more fun to be around than me!

L Is For... LAUGHTER

From a very young age, I could find humour in anything. I wasn’t the class clown, but I wasn’t found hiding in the corner either. You know the old saying? “When you meet the one you’re going to marry, you’ll know.” I couldn’t agree more. Because from the very first date we went on, Tony made me laugh. I was smitten.

I am quick to admit that I really do have a pretty sick sense of humour, so for the most part, we've always had a home filled with sarcasm and laughter. Sunday dinners were always my favourite, because one of the five of us would be on the hot seat, in turn it was front row entertainment for us all.

April 13th, 2013 - LAUGHTER
Taken: April 2008

My son has a natural rhythm for delivering zingers. His wit is so sharp that you can’t see the joke coming until everyone around you is bent over with laughter.

My husband tries, so do I, but more often than not my children comment “Ooooh Mom… That was a Dad joke!” Which means I completely tanked in my effort. 

Doesn’t keep me from getting back on the horse. Never has, and it never will.

Kurt Vonnegut said “laughter and tears are both responses of frustration and exhaustion. I prefer to laugh because there is less cleaning up to do afterwards!” I couldn’t agree more. Except for when you make me laugh so hard I cry. Honestly? THAT is the very best cleanup this gal loves to experience.

Have a great day all, and remember to keep that frown turned upside down!

J Is For... JUKEBOX

My oldest son was born in the dead of winter in Muskoka; he slept in a bassinet beside my bed for the first month or so, then graduated into his very own crib. Once he moved into his nursery, I made a choice that there would always be a radio playing. Why? Because we didn’t want him to be one of those babies conditioned to total silence.

April 11th, 2013 - JUKEBOX (Peacock)
Taken: December 31st, 2010

Always set to the local radio station, it was rarely turned off. He dozed off to the tunes, and woke up the same way.

I truly feel that early choice we made for him, has embedded the musical passion he has today.

Genetically, Jamie is completely surrounded by musicality. It’s a very common thread that is everywhere (on all sides of our family).

He is completely self-taught, disciplined, and he has fully embraced music as a craft. He’s talented. He’s extremely talented.

I remember the first time I watched him perform live I was in awe. After working with the acoustic and bass guitars he moved to the drums. We were always supportive of his passion; in fact we used to leave the house Sunday afternoons, so he and his band could practice. At the time I didn’t really understand the genre of music they were perpetuating, but it was keeping them off the streets, and they were having a blast.

Now a days, I just simply admire his evolving talent from afar (YouTube mostly).

Keep going Jukebox. We know you can accomplish whatever you put your voice and self driven talent behind!

G Is For... GIFT

Audrey Hepburn once said “you can always tell what a man really thinks of you by the earrings he gives you.” I have only been given one pair of earrings my entire life. They were extravagant solitaire diamonds, and they were beautiful. I lost one about ten years ago, but the other still sits in my jewelry box to this day. They were given as a gift. An expression of love.

I have been married for almost a quarter century, and the earrings were not from my husband. My comment wasn't to share about the earrings per say, but to illustrate the fact that gifting has never been something I have a whole lot of experience with. My husband has never been one to land at home with a gift “just because”. However, I'll jump to his complete and unconditional defense admitting that neither have I.

April 8th, 2013 - GIFTS
Taken: Myrtle Beach SC (Xmas 1997)

In the early years it was a money thing. Today we both just find the whole gifting to each other expectation a little silly.

After all these years together, by refraining from the exercise, sometimes I wonder if that's why neither of us aren't even remotely materialistic people

When it comes to us, there's never been some underlying expectation that the next gift will out shine the last. We need something we buy it. We don't need it, we don't have it.

Both of us were raised to appreciate that the best gifts in life come from the heart rather than from a shopping mall. I wish I could admit that when it came to our children we didn't over indulge, but at least we always tried to make them prioritize what they desired most.

At the end of the day, the earrings may have been the most expensive gift I have ever been given, but they are nowhere near my most treasured by far. That gift, is something that I have just recently given myself.

It's called hope.

We Go Together Like Peas & Carrots

Have you ever had one of those days when you felt totally alone and wondered if there was anyone out there in this vicious circle called life that you could call? Someone that you could say “I just need you to listen for a while" and they would? 

Not because they were being polite, but because you instantly knew by the sound of their voice they needed you? That person for me is my cousin Joanne.

Celebrating Joanne's BIG Day!
Taken: October 1994

Growing up I had 49 first cousins on my mother’s side. Yup. my Mom had seven sisters and four brothers. 

They were a tightly knit clan but my most vivid memory (of the sisters in particular) was that they lived to argue and fight.

That said, I am embarrassed to admit Jo's and my mom always won the prize. They could sit across from one another at a dining table, with their boxing gloves laced up, and everyone would think it was a normal dinner party. I’m not joking. In four descriptive words; IT GOT LOUD FAST!

As a result, growing up she and I never focused on the negative energy that constantly filled the air. From a very young age she (just like me) tried to look at her glass as half full. Surrounded by the dysfunction, our bond was always one of positive energy and support. How we pushed through that time has given us both amazing insight. Just like me, she believed it critical that the overall cycle stop.

Glass half full? When I think back at our childhood chemistry it was pretty amazing considering we lived our formative years 100 miles apart. Made no matter, we knew we were kindred from the start. 

She & Me?
Peas & Carrots!
Taken: Easter 1979

We'd write letters, exchanges photos, and eventually I lived my summers with her and figure skated in North Bay. We were inseparable. We were perfect together. Most of all we always had fun.

All these years later; we live in the same town, we married best friends, and we both have three children. Every morning we get out of bed, and we deal with the hand we've been dealt. 

I've had challenges she hasn't and vice versa but I still think of us right this instant as I did all those years ago; two really cool rock stars that could rule the world!

After texting last night, I just want to remind her that no matter what comes her way (in the next 10 minutes or the next 10 years) we are always strongest as a team.

That and OH... I love her very much.

My Mom Will Always Be My Valentine

Valentine’s Day has never been something I've looked forward to nor been very fond of. When I was young, I was lucky to give out the cute little boxed cards like everyone else did. Never dated in high school; so for obvious reason, there wasn't any gift giving/surprise kisses ever sent my way. 

By February 14^th, 1987 I did have a very serious suitor. It was the first time this specific holiday had rolled around for my husband and I, but these 26 years later that’s not why it's a memorable day. It's most memorable for both of us, because it's the day my mother died.

The last photo ever taken of my parents together.
Taken: June 1985

It’s always a sad day when a life ends. As we know, it's always hardest on the ones they leave behind. Even decades later, it's still a difficult day for me.

I can't begin to explain how she suffered. Having nursed her to her death; I remember looking at her in her bed, my eyes filled with tears, thanking God that she was finally at peace. 

To say the least, she was very brave. She was only 57 when her journey ended.

The photo I am posting was the last taken and the one that sat atop her casket. As my father moved on with his life, he entrusted it to me, and I still have it.

For what it's worth; when I wake up tomorrow I will thank God I am healthy, and I'll greet the new day. I will say a prayer for all looking for love, as well as a prayer for all of those that have found love. I will wear my favourite colour red, and I will also wear a cherished heart shaped pendant. 

The pendant was my mothers and I only wear once a year. I wear it to mark the day. Each and every year I place it over my heart for a very specific reason; as somber as it may sound, after all these years it helps me remember. It's also personally symbolic of what I know to true. 

... that she will always Be My Valentine.