Saturday, April 1, 2023


May my beautiful friend and coworker forever rest in peace.
(Beautiful photo from her LinkedIn profile)

It was the last Friday afternoon of this past January. 

My boss and I had just finished our end of day call, when he empathetically said, “I have some news to share.” Then, after a long pause he said, “Ashley was killed in a car accident early yesterday morning.”

In that moment, it was like I had been punched in the throat. My mind began swirling, and I was in a complete state of disbelief. This girl had the most amazing energy and sense of kindness, I instantly fell into a general state of shock.

Fast forward from that Friday night to Sunday morning. I couldn’t find any information online, other than there had in fact been a vehicular fatality in that area the morning I was told she passed. 

So, by mid-Sunday morning I reached out to a coworker to go fishing for facts. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I wanted to confirm that there hadn’t been some sort of bizarre misunderstanding. She quickly confirmed it was in fact her that had died.

Flash to the next Tuesday, when the rumblings shift to the chatter that her husband was being investigated for foul play in her death. In that moment, all I could do was be angry at the potential small town gossip.

Low and behold he was formally charged that Friday with second degree murder and indignity to a dead body and is being held without bail. 

His charges were then formally upgraded to first degree murder on February 17th, 2023.

Though I want to be angry at the person accused of taking her life, he doesn't deserve any space in my mind. That said, I can’t help but focus my empathy and worry to their two young children, both under the age of ten. Still processing all of this, it is so sad that they lost both of their parents that day. 

Not that I am anyone special in the big scheme of all of this, I am just one of many that is extremely grateful to have been able to call Ashley Schwalm my friend. I will always miss my former coworker dearly.

Rest in peace my beloved Schwalmster

Because if there is one thing you deserve, it's to forever sleep easy. 


  1. Oh my, this is so tragic! I really can't believe that anyone would kill the person they married. How sad for the children indeed. I am just visiting your blog for the first time from the #AtoZChallenge and read your letter B post first, but now I feel so much sympathy I think I need to take a break before commenting on that post. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

  2. What a dreadful shock and so unnecessary. My condolences to all who knew her and especially to her poor children.

  3. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Losing someone so suddenly is (like you said) a kick in the throat. Death is sudden, no matter the cause. It is the strangest feeling to know that you will never see them again. It is an empty place that not even time can fill. It sounds like she was the kind of person that will be bringing much light into the afterlife.