Once Discovered. Never Forgotten.

When I walked out the door this morning my surroundings took my breath away. It was about 3C outside and I swear you could actually feel the snow melting in the air. Today was the brightest it's been here in months. I stopped part way up the driveway, took it all in, and snapped my pic. It felt amazing!

Can February March?
No... But April May!
Taken: February 28th, 2013

I'm a pretty simple chick; I'm not saying that I am uncomplicated (because I can overthink with the best of them) but I have a pretty straightforward approach to my everyday life.

If there's one thing I've learned to do in the last couple of years, it's to embrace the moment, no matter how insignificant it may be. If it's unique I stop and take it in. Euphorically speaking, that's how I felt this morning.

Winter for me happens in layers.

The darkness of the shorter days is just that, so I try to soak up as much of the weekend daylight outdoors.

The deep freeze days (which usually lasts just a couple of weeks) has me nesting indoors. Those couple of weeks have me prioritizing all the crap that I ignore, because I'm too busy being active out of doors, the rest of the season.

Then there's the crazy fun days that we're heading into now. My absolute favourite. Mild snow covered surroundings that are still pretty but have yet to turn the landscape ugly as the next season approaches. Snowshoeing, downhill skiing, or a simple bonfire on the weekend keeps me smiling.

Let's face it; I love every season in Muskoka. To quote my good friend, the late Robyn Scott: Once Discovered. Never Forgotten. 

Personally; the last number of years I had certainly stopped discovering, and I had definitely forgotten. With that part of my journey in the past, I am committed to never looking back.

I am never going to take even my smallest discoveries from granted, I am never going to forget the pain I have pushed through, and I am never going to let anyone tell me how I should live my life. If you make your core goal personal happiness shouldn't everything else seem effortless?

As silly as that sounds, snapping my pic this morning was effortless. With Mother Nature providing a breathtaking backdrop, it just felt right. Why? Because I am  glowing.

For the first time in my life I'm absolutely comfortable in my own skin... and it shows!

Only 53 More Sleeps & We'll Be There!

Yesterday I approved the final payment on the vacation home my sister and I rented (in South Carolina) for a much needed getaway. I know that she's always been an island hopper in the past, yet because of my commitments at work, I wasn't able to travel any sooner. In chatting last night, she offered to keep an open mind about our trip, which is pretty much all I can ask.

She came to town to celebrate my birthday. 
Because of our age difference & circumstance...
We really do have very few pictures together.
Taken: April 1984

With February virtually a thing of the past, I am pleased to report that (in all areas of my life) I'm in a really amazing place. 

That said, as our vacation draws near, I fear my sister is not in as amazing a place. 

Why?

She has made some big changes in her life lately. Though she knows I unconditionally support her, I still worry.

I know she'll be fine. I guess I may worry because I am an hour away and we lead extremely different lives. Similarities and/or differences, we've always been able to find our way to the guts of it all, which is that life is short!

We both have things in life we wish we would have handled differently, and we both have hope for the future. You have no idea how much I love that "we have hope". Truthfully, I have more  hope today than I ever expected. Right now, I'm like a kid in a candy store and I am loving life.By taking her on this trip, it's like I am sharing the Magic Carpet Ride I'm on.

Guess my personal goal is that by the time she arrives back home she loves the magic carpet I fly (regularly outta air traffic control at YYZ) as much as I do.

CHEERS to hope Peeps...Cheers to HOPE!

Come On Baby Light My Fire...

As most of you (that follow me on Facebook) know, I had a wee little bit of a bonfire in the backyard last night.

It takes some effort to get a great one built this time of year but you know me and perseverance; when I tell myself I am going to do something, try and stop me. Planning started when I woke up yesterday morning.

My first step was to let the fire in the airtight in the house die down. Mid-afternoon, I transferred those coals to the ash bucket, and headed out back. I proceeded to carefully locate the rock lined fire pit in the backyard and started to dig out a serious amount snow.

Once I hit rock I gathered my supplies and began to build. Hot coals, varying types of paper, kindling, bark, small dry wood then the "great stuff". It's that last secret ingredient that produces my personally patented marshmallow coals about four hours later. 

Seriously, a stellar bonfire is like building a sandwich; everything's got a specific place both for visual effect, and overall experience. 

Pretty cool sandwich metaphor eh? It's much easier referencing my passion to sandwich making, rather that what it very well may be. Certain bells and whistles tend to go off for most when one admits they’re a maniac.

Throw "PYRO" in front of the word and the police often tend to take a keen interest in your whereabouts on an ongoing basis!

What can I say? Everyone's a critic!

There really is a method to my madness of bonfire building.
I am dead serious when I say 'it's taken me years to hone my craft'!
TAKEN: February 23, 2013

Wish you could have joined me last night. Maybe another time? Lord knows there will be others!

Teaching Goob the "CRAFT"
Taken: March Break 2004

   

Ringing In the New Year
Taken: New Year's Eve 2006

One of my best ever!
Taken: Labour Day Weekend 2010

Enjoying a drink at the house with my friend Will...
Taken: April 2012

The last one of the BEST SUMMER SEASON EVER...
Taken: End of August 2012

She's One Smart Cookie!

So I was sitting in my boss’s office late yesterday afternoon when all of a sudden he realized that one of our busier clients had arrived with guests. Bossman immediately dismissed our meeting and left his office.

After a minute or two, it became apparent that he wasn’t returning anytime soon. What did I do? Naturally, I followed him to find out what all the fuss is about. What can I say? Fuss I did find!

As I walked onto the showroom floor I heard Gary announce “and this is Rhondi…” He then opened his arms, gave me a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek (as he always does) then introduced me to his guests. WOW. All I got was the gentleman's name, and when he grabbed my hand to shake it I melted. The unexpected connection was instant.

I read somewhere that if a man is interested in what a woman has to say; he'll make eye contact for at least eight seconds.

Let's just say that in the non "Joey Tribbiani sense", that rule of thumb time lapse passed, and we had each others attention.

He was American and he had an accent; let's face it, I’m a sucker for an accent but it was more than that. 

It was his personal confidence. 

He wasn’t cocky nor arrogant and he seemed extremely genuine. The kicker; he made me laugh. I don't care who you are. Make me really laugh and you're GOLDEN. Easy on the eyes takes you to PLATINUM! This designer unconditionally offered me both.

Come on, I'm playing... And I am anything but naive.

When it comes to dealing with people, I generally deal with 95% men and 5% women. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to bring something to the pump that I haven't either seen or heard before. Let's just say I have a very effective "this is my space, this is your space" personal boundary in place. For whatever reason, I can spot a player a mile away (as I joke about yesterday and wipe the drool from my chin)!

Why am I reflective? I think because it was a spur of the moment encounter on a particularly good hair day. Right there; I don't know why my opinion of myself rushed to the superficial.

I know for a fact that my "instant chemistry man" was impressed with my intelligence as well as my and sense of humour. How do I know? The dialogue shifted quickly away from the needs of his wealthy client. Not to mention the added bonus of Gary announcing "listen to Rhondi... she's one smart cookie!"

Glass half full? At least he didn't call me a "TART..."

Let's face it, if we listen to Marty on main street, Muskoka is World Famous for those too!

Have a great weekend everyone...

Does Anyone Else Have "Friend" Lanes?

I have been melancholy for a few weeks now. A little under the weather but never felt the need to discuss it because I figured it would pass. I’m not depressed or blue, just perhaps a tad disappointed. Looking closely at all of my lanes, there are only two people in my entire life that know exactly what the hell I mean.

Am I alone, or have any of you ever had “Friend" lanes? You know; friends that you slot into specific lanes so they never venture into certain areas of the rest of your life? 

Someone needs you to make them feel better, so you never share negativity. Someone you know have a similar marriage, so you share recipes. Someone's in the same line of work, so you always talk shop. All of the above are valuable friendships to me, they just tend to never become unconditional on every single level.

Right or wrong, when it comes to that area of my life, I’ve always held certain cards very close to my chest. In fact, the person I feel everyone knows, see me as rather one dimensional and genuinely  predicable. Very few truly know me. That’s just a fact.

I had a really great day. How about you?

My point? Today I did something kinda brave. I wasn't using cymbals or anything but it was brave just the same. 

Unexpectedly, a friend properly signaled asking permission to change their 'friend lane' & I let them.

I trust this person implicitly but we've always just shared the type of friendship that simply enjoyed the others sense of sarcasm and fun. You know the lane; they see all the good and never the bad. They get the laughter, the humour, the camaraderie  but never a single moment of bitching or negativity. 

To their credit; they'd been sensing something was wrong for quite a while, and today they finally opened our door. “Why were you upset?” they asked. After I refrained from answering they said “It's no big deal. Shit happens. Spill the beans. It can’t be a that bad…” Just like that they reached out;  I was not only shocked, I was touched.

Though we talked of many things out of the norm today, I never did share my true disappointment with them. Why? It's been my personal experience that if you dwell on something that's disappointing you, it just hangs around longer than you want it to. Kinda like an expensive ill fitting bra or an extremely bad hair colour episode.

That said, I am so glad I was brave today. I didn’t have to run as hard as I could in the opposite direction as my picture suggests; I just simply closed the book at my page marked “disappointment” and opened up YouTube.

My first search? Cymbal playing penguins and sleeping Polar Bears.

Because life is very short, and you can never get your proper fill of cymbal playing penguins :)

...EVER! 

A Family Day of Reflection

I spied a cartoon on Facebook this week. Two kids shuffling through the snow with a caption "Family Day”. The one boy starts by saying “Family Day, that’s a joke…” and the kid walking behind says something like “I know... My Dad’s out of town on business, and my mother doesn’t give a shit!”. It was really quite powerful. They were illustrated to look about ten or twelve years old.

Goob, Jukebox, Me & Sweetie....
In the backyard on Toronto Street.
(Photo Credit: DAD)
Taken: October 1995

When it comes to how we raised our children, I think we were somewhat unconventional. 

We did live together first, so we knew we were good in that department. But we never expected to transition into a family unit as quickly as we did. 

Because we were so young, we didn’t have a whole lot of life lessons under our belt to compare to, so we winged it.  

By choice we lived in a small bubble with very little outside influence for a lot of years. Tony worked days, I worked evenings (in  the non street walking sense), which lasted right up until the twins started school. 

I'd love to say we structured it that way because that's what we wanted but from the very start money was sparse. In the very first year of marriage, we chose to invest in a home. I remember being elated when we were given our first mortgage at 12.5%! 

My post isn’t meant to be somber rather it's reflective. As we celebrate today I have to wonder: how will this generation of children make it to the middle? Will owning their own home be out of reach? How will they ever be able to support a family? I think it's all possible yet I feel that I am a broken record in saying that the only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Back to the cartoon. I don't think my children will ever have the opinion that I didn't give a shit. In fact, I am confident that their opinions will always be the polar opposite. They will have wished I didn't have such an incessant need for structure and control. In fact, I am sure they feel that had I minded my own business (you know... by not keeping the rift raft away, nor the partying at bay) they would ALL have been far better off. 

Which in turn provides the reality at hand; I don't know anything. Truth be known? I'm okay with that. Let's face it. Did any of us realize that Mother's knew anything about life in general before we turned 30? 

I know I didn't.

Happy Family Day All!

What Do YOU Expect?

Have you ever wondered if the biggest disappointment in day to day life is expectation? 

Not only the expectation you have for yourself; but for those you love, as well as those that you surround yourself with. I realize that’s an extremely slippery slope, yet it’s the question I am left with this morning.

After a very successful morning at work (and very enjoyable afternoon off) for all intense purposes, I didn’t arrive home to what I expected. I’ll take that one step further and say, in finding what I did yesterday; I’m not sure what I should expect in the future. 

Sad really, because not only do I know what I want to have happen but I know what I need to have happen. That said, using the last couple of years as a measuring stick, I’m not sure either will. 

I’m anything but naive. I absolutely and unequivocally know the difference between "want" and "need". I learned that particular life lesson at a very young age. It was one of the core philosophies I was raised by. That’s not a criticism it’s a compliment. My parents raised me the best they could with the resources they had. I guess I have just been blessed to have more all around resources than they did. Naturally,  I automatically expected better results.

Where did I go wrong? Because my business grew so big so fast, I had Jenn and later Kath cater to my children. The harsh reality was that I was busy making hay while the sun shone. As a direct result, through their formative teen years, there may have been more sparing of the rod and spoiling of the child happening than should have for their own good. This was when the cracks began to surface.

Taken the day the Singleton Brothers hired me from Calgary.
They asked to match a face to a voice and so I emailed this pic.
Taken: July 8th, 2005

Truth of the matter is that I worked seven days a week for almost seven years.

If I wasn’t on a plane to Calgary or Halifax, I was in the Downtown GTA or over in Haliburton. 

I'll admit that I have learned firsthand that the laws of supply and demand can be excruciating as well as financially rewarding. 

I guess I just recognize now, that perhaps my priorities were out of focus, and monetary reward replaced a certain nurturing I had been given growing up in the 1970’s. 

As I enter the next phase of my life, I have to ask myself what I would have done differently in the last ten years? My list is long. For instance, I would have stayed away from the lime green and black print fashion combo I rocked back in 2005, when Barry and Brian hired me from Calgary. 

Seriously, I've had to ask myself this morning, what did you expect? Fashion choices aside, I know one thing's for sure. If I knew then what I know now; there would have been a very different result yesterday when I finally arrived at home!

Oh well... Onward and upward is the only direction I can go.

My Mom Will Always Be My Valentine

Valentine’s Day has never been something I've looked forward to nor been very fond of. When I was young, I was lucky to give out the cute little boxed cards like everyone else did. Never dated in high school; so for obvious reason, there wasn't any gift giving/surprise kisses ever sent my way. 

By February 14^th, 1987 I did have a very serious suitor. It was the first time this specific holiday had rolled around for my husband and I, but these 26 years later that’s not why it's a memorable day. It's most memorable for both of us, because it's the day my mother died.

The last photo ever taken of my parents together.
Taken: June 1985

It’s always a sad day when a life ends. As we know, it's always hardest on the ones they leave behind. Even decades later, it's still a difficult day for me.

I can't begin to explain how she suffered. Having nursed her to her death; I remember looking at her in her bed, my eyes filled with tears, thanking God that she was finally at peace. 

To say the least, she was very brave. She was only 57 when her journey ended.

The photo I am posting was the last taken and the one that sat atop her casket. As my father moved on with his life, he entrusted it to me, and I still have it.

For what it's worth; when I wake up tomorrow I will thank God I am healthy, and I'll greet the new day. I will say a prayer for all looking for love, as well as a prayer for all of those that have found love. I will wear my favourite colour red, and I will also wear a cherished heart shaped pendant. 

The pendant was my mothers and I only wear once a year. I wear it to mark the day. Each and every year I place it over my heart for a very specific reason; as somber as it may sound, after all these years it helps me remember. It's also personally symbolic of what I know to true. 

... that she will always Be My Valentine.

With Toes Tapping & Fingers Snapping

Heading into the city yesterday morning I had the radio blaring; as expected, as soon as I could get reception, I switched the dial to CHFI. (I regularly stream via the television satellite because it really is my favourite station on the FM dial.)

Passing Canada’s Wonderland, one of my favourite songs hit the airwaves. I cranked the radio as loud as I could stand it, and sang each and every word at the top of my lungs. I have no idea how I sounded because the radio was being drown out by the two dogs in the back howling in pain. My glass half full immediately associated my girlz as “backup accompaniment” and I am pleased to report that the three of us finished the song in its entirety as we approached the 401.

What makes music resonate? In this instance:  the instrumental track from the first section of the song was the music used as the one minute intro for my Jr. Silver Freeskate. The summer of 1983, I swear I heard the amazing bass line and horn section three times a day for the entire summer. To this day, it's still one of my very fave songs to shake my booty to.

Back to a song resonating. Maybe it's that we tend to put ourselves out there in the moment and personally envision. Seriously, tell me? What woman wouldn’t want to …♫♪♫ Save a horse… Ride a Cowboy ♫♪♫…? I take my personal commitment seriously. I am a firm believer in making sure the horse population is well taken care of forever in perpetuity! Never did before I heard that particular song. Just sayin'

All kidding aside; I don’t post many videos on here. In this instance, I want you hit play and really to turn in up. If don't tap your toes, or snap your fingers, you need to send me a note. In return, I’ll call 911 for you immediately. 

Why? Because you’ve lost your soul! As an added bonus?!  You’re probably tone deaf!

Giddy UP and ENJOY one of my very favourite songs... And the dogs like it too!

Do you remember the

21st night of September?

Love was changing the minds of pretenders

While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing

In the key that our souls were singing.

As we danced in the night,

Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you

Holding hands with your heart to see you

Only blue talk and love,

Remember how we knew love was here to stay

Now December found the love that we shared in September.

Only blue talk and love,

Remember the true love we share today

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days

My Journey Started At YYZ...

In preparing for David to move home, I rearranged the spare bedroom this weekend. When organizing the extra room, it reminded me just how much I truly love to read.

Though most of my books are either at the cottage or tucked away on a need to read basis; my very favourite duplicates have somehow been assigned to the spare bedroom night stand, where I have been known to curl up at a moments notice and enjoy.

I really do consider all of these books my friends. I've purchased each and every one in the spare bedroom in a pinch to 'read something wonderfully familiar'. Sadly because they're duplicates, I only read parts and pieces, every now and again. Some I have never touched since their impulse purchase.

Anyway, in moving them all this weekend, I came across an extra copy of my very favourite book. How crazy is it that I'd forgotten I'd purchased it/her for the fourth time?

This business trip totally changed my life....
Taken February 10th, 2013

When I picked up my close friend I froze. Not because of who she was, but because of the bookmark I had left in her. I was shocked to find an airline ticket from a business trip I'd taken in March 2011 to Minneapolis. 

I had purchased my BFF (at the very last minute at YYZ) in an effort to embrace a trip that I had no desire to take. She offered me the comfort I expected that flight. Finding the ticket reminded me in real time, that the trip I was dreading to take, completely changed my life.

It's true. When I landed at MSP I was only going through the motions. By the time my plane took off back to Canada, I knew the experience had changed me. I arrived home with the personal goal to get fit and find the real me that had been missing since my father passed in my arms in 2005.

I've been second guessing myself a little lately but finding my plane ticket bookmark reinforces just how far I have truly traveled.

Three word sentence?  Meant to be!

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

This morning my walk to meet Robbie K was in perfect weather. Tonight on the other hand, my walk home was a really cold one (and not in the 'ice cold Bud Light' sense). I honestly didn’t mind the wind chill, it was tolerable. Probably because my music was great, and my disposition even better. That’s half the battle right?

I do love winter. Especially now that I don’t have to walk to work in the dark and arrive home in the dark. I know from sheer experience that the best part of the season is yet to come. 

In getting in shape, I use to walk because I needed to. Now that I am fit, I walk because I want to. I enjoy those thirteen minutes in the morning that ultimately get me ready for my day. Matter a fact; I like those thirteen minutes almost as much as the same ones heading home. They help me to process the work day I have just had. 

Snowshoeing the 18 holes at South Muskoka last winter.
I WILL Walk 500 Miles...
Wait... Isn't that a song? Figures!
Taken: Family Day 2012

Again, not that I go to work expecting a bad day, because for the most part I really do love my job. It's just that for whatever reason, I'd temporarily lost my bearings. I do know why, yet some realities are always harder to process than others. To quote Winston Churchill... “If you’re going through Hell   KEEP GOING..." so I did. 

Biggest Surprise?

For the first time in my life, I didn’t push away the people that wanted to unconditionally support me. (Nor did I lash out against the any number of easy targets I have in my day to day life.) Instead, I compartmentalized my feelings to a place where unicorns prance about, and there really is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. 

NO, I wasn't taking quaaludes. I pushed through it dumbass!

Why the pushing? Once again, I found myself moving through the stages of grief; this time, for whatever reason, my glass was half full. I finally understood that the process would eventually end. It would end and everything would be okay. Walking home tonight, I knew I was going to be OK! 

You have no idea how great it feels to type that simple statement... I think I need to go for a walk. Wanna come?

I'm Just Tickled P!nk

As Monday March 11th approaches; September 24th, 2012 seems like forever ago. 

I remember I arrived at work that morning and reminded everyone in our start up meeting that I was not to be disturbed until at least 10:10 am. It wasn't because I had a scheduled appointment or a conference call, it was far bigger than that. Concert tickets were going on sale for P!nk's Truth About Love Tour at precisely 10:00 am and I was gearing up. Needless to say, I logged on and hit the MOTHERLOAD!

I'm not in the 2nd row.
I am in seat 38 in the Pit directly able to touch the heart shaped Stage!
WOOT!!!
Taken the day my ticket arrived via Canada Post: October 4, 2012

Finding it odd that it's a single ticket? I generally go alone. Goob joined me for Prince and Staccs is heading to see Rihanna with me, but I truly enjoy going alone. Believe it or not, when you pay this kind of money for a ticket, everyone around you always has the same passion and enthusiasm. It's absolutely contagious. Plus, a really kick ass single ticket is far easier to land than multiples are. 

Closest I have been to an artist I admire? I could have touched Sheryl Crow on stage - she actually made eye contact. Worst seats I have paid money for? Farthest point possible from the stage at the CNE for The WHO. Best show I've ever seen?  Second row for Don Henley's solo tour.  Biggest ticket purchase surprise? Bryan Adams last year. I liked his show so much I wanted to jump a plane to Winnipeg two weeks later just to take that ride again.

On every single level, music is a passion for me. It's definitely part of who I am as a person. I know it's probably hard to fathom my spending this kind of money for an overnight adventure for myself. (It isn't for the faint of heart that's for sure.) I don't over think it; I love how it makes me feel, and I love that I am disciplined enough to save my money. By budgeting, I can take in three or four experiences a year. What can I say, some women like shoes.

True story; I was having lunch with our installers a week or so ago. I mentioned my travel plans for the next couple of months. They were genuinely excited for me. (They do tease me about my age but they know I like to have fun.)

In mentioning that I was heading into the city to see Rihanna exactly one week after P!nk, Lance jokingly chimed in... "You're going to see Rihanna? HECK, you'll be the oldest person there!" Without missing a beat Brad added; "No she won't... I'm sure someone will bring their grandmother!!" 

Oh, to be in my twenties again. Who am I kidding. I am loving this stage of my 40's just fine!

Sitting separately Staci's Gate ticket is probably better than my Floor ticket.
Have to wait and see...
Taken: October 2012

My Quirky Sidekick!

Me and My Quirky Sidekick Tim
Taken: Spring of 2003

I love people. 

Positive people with positive energy, and I always make the extra effort to keep the silly naysayers at bay. Call me quirky.

I am quirky. Always have been. Always will be. 

Appears my point may be moot because I'm very lucky to have tons of family, friends, as well as varying acquaintances in my life. 

All amazing folks but all these years later, I know I am blessed to still be connected to my one and only Quirky Sidekick!

Tim "Timmy Twos" McAllister came into my life after he graduated from the University of Alabama, and relocated into Muskoka thanks to Mr. Palmer. Just like that we were teamed and inseparable from the start. 

Finance (unlike Accounting) compiled the smallest department within the gigantic machine but it made no matter. Let's face it, when it came to being in the trenches with a boss like Dave Grant, we learned quickly that there was safety in numbers. Even if it meant that number was only two! From the get go, we gelled and kicked some serious ass.

Our synergy was the real deal. A rarity in comparison to most work relationships. Just like myself, after leaving the big Corporate machine, he built a successful business from nothing. When the banks fell, like most consultants, I endured a very tough year. My call for heartfelt advice was to Tim; asking a question, that only someone that had endured what we had, could answer. 

My question: If you had to start over and build it from nothing would you do it again? His answer didn't surprise me. It was no. After several lengthy conversations, I knew that I didn't want to do it again either. I knew he understood first hand the journey I had taken. I hadn't slept through the night in five years.

With some serious geography keeping us apart; the last couple of years, the internet has kept us in touch in place of the telephone. Out of the blue I got an email from him at work on Saturday. I apologized for been lax and asked him to text me his new cell phone number so we can stay closer.

This morning, drafting this post, my phone buzzed and blinked. It was from a number I didn't recognize. I opened it to read "Hi Rhondi!! XO Quirky" all I could do was smile from ear to ear. 

What can I say? We will be together forever in quirkiness. That's a promise I know we are going to keep!

What’s Behind YOUR Fridge?

A couple of weeks ago we got a very sexy new fridge. Actually, we’ve had it for quite awhile, it's just been holding court in the garage for all to see. It seems Canada’s Worst Handyman has been overbooked with public appearances, so the task of installation never got crossed off my list. After a much heated Saturday morning chat (that ended with me bellowing “I am sick and tired looking at that piece of shit”) we established a plan.

In protest; certain kitchen cabinets were removed, others just moved, and a small counter top adjusted. With the opening prepared, out came ye ole fridge. After Bertha was in the middle of the kitchen floor we both looked down to find one lone soldier. It was a wallet size copy of our engagement photo.

Tony had hair and is totally rocking the 'Porn Stash'.
Me? Holy shoulder pads Batman. Nice mullet BTW!!
Taken: December 1st, 1987 

When I flipped over the grungy old pic, my hand writing identified it as just that. It was dated December 1^st, 1987.

As I dusted it off, we both admitted that we remembered the day it taken. I found it amazing that in the midst of all our frustration, we were brought together by a certain moment in time. 

That specific Saturday was the first time in a very long time our gloves were off.

What's the first thing I thought of when I picked up the only soldier under our old fridge?

Poppa reminding me to play nice.

He always was our best mediator!

He Knows The Key To Success...

Well, it’s official. David is moving home. Since he’s made the decision, a couple of full time/year round employment options (in his field) have presented themselves, which keeps him progressing in the direction he ultimately wants to go. I believe this was meant to be. 

David doing his thing as published in NOW Magazine.
Taken: December 13th, 2012

Hang on a second. Let’s back up. 

When Dave was home at Thanksgiving, I encouraged him to make an employment change. Out of respect for GOOB I won’t discuss the details, except to say, at that time he decided not to. Rather than push my point, I continued to unconditionally support. 

A very rough autumn resulted in lots of telephone support as well as a GTA road trip for some much needed "family time". What was our biggest accomplishment that day? He let me buy him a new winter coat. Seriously, he was being far too proud, and it was really pissing me off!

Our boost that day gave him just enough energy to skate into the Christmas break; which is when he announced (at his own accord) that he was ready to make a change. It was wholeheartedly accepted and expected, that once we were back from our Christmas trip, David would transition home.

Well, turns out a week of fun and frolic in the sun (combined with a couple of weeks of solid Muskoka rest) had him return to his apartment and the very job I had hoped he would leave behind months earlier. Upon his return to hell this time, I asked him to make me a deal; call me no matter what, ask for help if needed, and if things didn’t change by the first of April, sincerely entertain a change! He  promised and said “I love you Mom…” A week or so ago, he ultimately decided he was ready.

I know it has been very hard for him to realize that sometimes you need to take a step back and look at the big picture in order to move forward. You know what I mean. Haven't you ever been so busy going through the motions, that you don't bother to try to process what's happening, so the utter dysfunction just keeps perpetuating itself? For him, something finally clicked, and he took a step back.

Because he has done that, I see this as an excellent opportunity for him. I see it as stepping stone to bigger and better things. He's seen personal success first hand, therefore he knows that he can accomplish anything, if he puts his mind to it.

I can't wait for his smile
to return for good!
Taken: December 29th, 2012

This journey solidifies that he is not afraid of a lot of hard work. It's not that he needed to prove anything to us, my joy comes because he has proven it to himself!

Speaking from experience? THAT is the key, that will open every single door, every single time!

I am so very proud of him. Not just because he understands my philosophy about hard work but because he's lived it.

Sky's the limit GOOB.... Don't look back!

Walk A Mile In Peter's Shoes? Never!

I can easily admit that I can walk into a room of 500 strangers and be comfortable. Not only am I very comfortable, but I can openly be myself. For whatever reason, I am at ease around people, and I have been from a very young age. Then there was today.

I’ve had something personal hanging over my head for a long time. I have wanted to deal with it, yet for various reasons, ended up dragging my feet with its closure. It goes back to the height of my large land development phase, so let’s run with the fall of 2006 for all intense “time frame” purposes. Needing it dealt with, I looked outside my inner circle for help. 

I'd met someone a number of years ago, and I unexpectedly bumped into him again this summer. It’s not like we really ever knew each other; heck when I approached him for help, he had no idea who the hell I was. What’s that saying “you never get a second chance at a first impression"? Details aside; I reminded him who I was, told him what I needed, and he agreed to help. Again, we arrive at today.

Peter, how fitting is it that you were with me at the start of my journey and standing beside me at the very end of it? This afternoon you called my writing “eloquent” yet my flair for the written word pale in comparison to what you have accomplished. I am truly in awe (and equally amazed) at how you treat every single person around you. 

My Cottage Walk In w/ Puddin' (front) & Dot (rear)
Taken: January 6th, 2013

I mean it when I say you are a remarkable person. Always willing to help as well as unconditionally willing to go that extra mile. Respect is earned, and you most definitely have mine. 

Thank you so very much. 

OH, before I forget, all my best to you on your journey with Chester!

I have attached a pic of Puddin’ and Dot. You know what they say? Always nice to put a face (I mean fur coat) to a name !!!

Take Care My Friend.

Simply Because I Wanted To Share

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written."

Written by Regina Brett (age 90), 

Cleveland , Ohio.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Oh Those Mike's Milk Days!

So yesterday I was atop the "blah, blah, blah gotta keep moving forward" soapbox and what the hell do I go and do this morning? Climbed into an old High School scrapbook. Where did that find me in an instant? The past! Geeesh, I'm such a Rhondi!

Mike Milk on Manitoba Street
Taken:1982-83ish

As you can imagine my walk down memory lane quickly drifted from my hairstyle and instantly focused on all the young people in my photos. 

Because a lot of them are on my Facebook, I scanned and sent out personal copies. Rhett, Henik, Mike, Allen H and Connie all received copies. Tom, Tim and Allan R have since passed so I just admired those ones fondly.

One person that was a big part
of my High School experience
(to which I have absolutely no idea whatever happened to him) was Andy. 

First and foremost I have to start by saying that the one thing I remember most about Andy was that he hated my mother with a passion and she knew it. Why? Because she felt exactly the same way about him!

Andy R. Working the same shift (as we usually did)
Taken: 1982-83ish

Andy & I met outside the Mike's Milk store on Baysville Rd the first week he moved to town. I remember the day, it was the August before I went into Grade 10. 

We became instant friends and continued working together in the two local stores until the summer I graduated from High School.

I never dated him, because let's face it, I wasn’t allowed. In hindsight though, that's probably why he chased me so hard after high school. Just to piss my mother off! 

Actually, if I remember correctly, we never really connected in that way. Every once and a while throughout 1984 we’d go to the edge but there just wasn’t a single stitch of natural chemistry. Besides, we were best friends, and the thought of it was just really kind of weird. It's a long time ago but I think the friendship came to a close when I started dating Tim. I had dated by now, but Tim was my first true love, and first really serious boyfriend. He was five years my senior.

You know, Andy hasn't crossed my mind in decades, yet I think of Tim all the time. 

We'd never lost touch. In fact, I had chatted with him for about an hour in the grocery store, just three weeks before he passed. I stopped by his grave last spring because some days I find it hard to process that he's gone. Once again proving that life is short.

That said, if anyone happens to run into Andy feel free to tell him I say hello. Oh, and don't forget to mention "that my mother was  REALLY glad the day he left town." I'll bet you fifty bucks he holds his middle finger up to the sky which will immediately be followed by some very severe profanity.

Seriously... She and he shared a strong outspoken bond that way!

Let's just say I completely understand why my
mother never liked him!
Taken: 1984

Life Lesson #457 I've Learned

If there is one thing this silly little blog has taught me, it’s that I am not alone. I have friends of friends of friends that have shared; and I have had people that I have never met reach out, email and comment. What started out as a simple coping mechanism for all the negative energy in my life, has evolved into something I look forward to doing.

For lack of a better reference, it’s mine. Kind of like my flower gardens were when the kids were small. I'd always look forward to some "me time" when I could work away at them in the evening. It was fun. All season long, I would be changing it up. Inserting colour and contour; so at the end of it all, I provided a delightful visual reward, along the front of our home for all to see.

I remember that time in my life fondly. Seems like forever ago, probably because it was. That was then, and this is now. Once again reminding myself that I can’t go back, I can only go forward. Lord knows, I am the first to raise my hand and acknowledge that is easier said than done.

Lessons Learned In Life!

Why? Part and parcel because in the blink of an eye the past can become the present. Which in turn starts the vicious circle over and over again. 

Once jolted back, you inevitably arrive at the “I have to figure out what I really want” card. I hate that card. 

That card, combined with the "is this as good as it gets" question, has caused me more personal angst than I care to admit.

If there’s one thing the last couple of years have taught me is that at the end of it all you realize it just isn’t about you. After all is said and done, it becomes crystal clear that it’s actually the opposite. It's more about everything and everyone around you, that’s what makes up your life. 

Though I understand that one has to make themselves a priority, there is no need to shut everyone out of your life in doing so.  I am a firm believer that it doesn't have to be lonely. After all, you can't change who you are and what you need to be happy. That why it's called "personal happiness." 

It's a journey, a fact finding mission per say, to which I am completely convinced that no matter how hard you look you'll never find a Hollywood or fairy tale ending. That "grass is always greener" thought process? Has a three month euphoric effect max! 

At the end of it all, even if you’re lucky enough to find a tower and a damsel; you’re still going wake up in the morning, there’s going to be shit to be done, bills to be paid, and no matter whom you choose she'll end up bitching at you just the same. That's just the harsh reality at hand.

I remember reading somewhere that people don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. You my friend, know better than most, that I am ME. How crazy is it that I know you'd find me remiss if I didn’t literally cover off all four!

With number one officially checked off my list; my hand, my ear, and my heart are waiting. I will always love you and Good Luck. 

I hope you find what you've been searching for...

Seems I Have Reached The Middle

Mother never told me there'd
be days like these!

I was telling a friend this week that “when you can’t sleep at night it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream.” I joked that "you can imagine my surprise when all along I thought I was waking up because I thought I was having hot flashes!"

Joking aside, last night was awful. I didn’t sleep a wink. I had to physically get up twice because my entire body was drenched. It’s unlike anything I have every experienced before. Lack of sleep leading to exhaustion, combined with some unexpected anxiety, had me sick to my stomach all morning.

As a result, I missed my morning appointment and I have spent the day watching movies. I don’t have an appetite and I have been "flashing" on and off all day. I don’t have a fever but it’s late in the day and I am still unable to sleep.

I'm lethargic, irritable, as well as emotional. I can feel it. I hate it and I just want it to stop!

I haven’t really researched what is going to happen to my body over the next couple of years because let’s face it; I don’t feel middle aged, and I certainly don’t act it. Today has been a bit of a wake-up call telling me that this is something that is officially knocking at my door and I most definitely have zero control over it.

Truth? This morning I was actually wondering if my summer of self-discovery in 2012 was just my body ramping up in preparation to start shutting down. The thought of that does worry me. I know I am not ready, but if I am honest with myself, I know over the last year there have been certain subtle changes. There have been some physical changes as well as some changes in mindset. All I suspect are part of the process. I guess I best start reading to make it as bearable as possible.

I watched four movies while tucked into the love seat at the end of the bed today. Hope Springs is about a couple that go into marriage counselling. Something's Gotta Give is about finding love later in life. And Something to Talk About is about marriage in fidelity and how a couple over comes it. The last was 40 Year Old Virgin.

The final had the greatest impact on me from where I am at this very point in my life. Poor Steve Carell. He waited an entire 40 years to get laid; only to marry someone and he's a minute and a half away from a mid-life crisis, which is to be directly followed my menopause. AND she made his sell all his shit on EBay!

POOR Bastard! That movie isn't a comedy. It could very well be the single biggest tragedy of this century.

Just keepin' it real Peeps...

Who Knew? Zack Knew That's Who!

Let me start by clarifying something very important. That fifteen years ago I would have never anticipated this happening but I have evolved into a very structured person.

I honestly wish that I was still spontaneous but I am not. I use to be; matter a fact I have witnesses to those very fun times. I guess it just seems as I have gotten older, I have folded like a lawn chair.

That said, I had a really great day.

Not because I was expecting a "bad day" I just expected a “same shit, different day Monday in January in Muskoka" is all. As I sit here this evening, I am pleased to report that my day was anything but boring. It was genuinely pretty amazing.

Not only did I get to chat with my two favourite phone friends (they know who they are) but I spent my lunch hour with one of my very closest friends. NO, Smartie didn’t fly in from Whitehorse for lunch but this was a close second.

Zack Smith and I have been friends for what feels like forever. We both have a mutual love of golf and we are very like minded; our spouses are very similar in nature, our children are the same ages, so naturally it's a great friendship fit. Only problem? Not a single one of us is spontaneous!

I should mention that as a couple they've been front of mind this past weekend. They just lost their five year old purebred dog to leukemia last Friday; and just like Tony and I, their dogs have aided in the coping with their empty nest.

Then, out of the blue, he text me this morn and invited me for lunch. It’s not that a lunch invite is abnormal for me but in all this time that has never happened. Honestly? I almost said no; because let's face it, I'd brought my Monday leftover lunch to work. Staring at my phone, I realized that something must be amiss for him to unexpectedly invite me to lunch. Simply because he's far more structured than I'll ever be.

Spontaneity aside, I can`t help but wonder if my lunch invite came because he knows we have always had the ability to make each other laugh. True to form; for an entire lunch hour we were in the total comfort of our friendship. We laughed and laughed and laughed. 

I love to laugh. I need to laugh. How cool was our spontaneous euphoria? VERY! Hope we do it again soon. I wonder if he'll give me more notice next time?

Hey Dad… Guess What I Found?

Thanks again Habitat Restore!
Taken: January 12th, 2013

After my Mom died, that following summer Dad and I packed his house up of any extras he felt he wouldn't use. Because he wasn’t ready to donate the items, we loaded up his car, and shipped the boxes to the lake.

The next time I arrived at Camp, I noticed he had personally saved the gold painted Petro Canada Olympic glasses from a life in storage. He had neatly placed all of them on the shelf with all of the other mismatched glassware. 

From that very moment, those glasses became the ‘Official Holder of Rhondi’s Camp Spirits’. Over the years, one by one they slowly broke, until there was only one left.

When Dad died, we had his girlfriend help herself to whatever she wanted, as they had been partners on and off for almost 20 years. I remember being emotional when she took MY very last glass. 

I mean that in jest. We never really noticed that the other used the same glass until there was only one left. So you can imagine those last few summers at Camp had that particular glass on the hot seat.

It started late one afternoon when I spied her pouring herself a glass of beer. In the whiniest voice imaginable, and at the top of my lungs, I yelled "Daaaaaaaaaddddddy! She's using my glass!!  We all howled with laughter. That moment in itself was the start of it all, it was on! I really do recall being disappointed at the discovery it was gone; but the matter a fact was, it was just as much hers, as it was mine. 

When the Habitat Restore opened here a few years ago I was given hope. I’d see several styles of the same series of glasses being donated but never the one that I used to love at Poppa’s Camp. I am almost embarrassed to admit that my quest had me check the Restore every single Saturday morning for over a year.

My hard work paid off because I eventually hit the mother load. I was estatic when I finally discovered a set of four of MY glasses in amazing condition. Two stayed home and two made their way to Orillia Lake. The two at home suffered a brutal death by dishwasher so one was borrowed from the cottage. The third dishwasher homicide had only the one at the cottage alive and well. It too eventually got broken. That was the summer of 2010.

I stopped going to the Restore every Saturday but when I did happen to stop in I would always check. Last Saturday there was only one. It was very well worn; and by its faded gold logo, I can tell it had survived a life in the dishwasher, only to find its way to me.

I know it's a silly story but it's true. Every time I open the glassware cupboard and see it, or pick it up and move it, I'll think of my Dad. I can hear his voice. The sound of his laughter. Most of all I hear the shuffle of his feet in his slipper two sizes too large.

I have tears in my eyes as I type. All over a silly little glass. Who knew? My entire family that's who!

Jaysen, Jukebox, Loretta (using MY glass), Goob,
Poppa, Shannyn & Tony with Staccs
Taken: August 1995