Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Does Anyone Else Have "Friend" Lanes?

I have been melancholy for a few weeks now. A little under the weather but never felt the need to discuss it because I figured it would pass. I’m not depressed or blue, just perhaps a tad disappointed. Looking closely at all of my lanes, there are only two people in my entire life that know exactly what the hell I mean.

Am I alone, or have any of you ever had “Friend" lanes? You know; friends that you slot into specific lanes so they never venture into certain areas of the rest of your life? 

Someone needs you to make them feel better, so you never share negativity. Someone you know have a similar marriage, so you share recipes. Someone's in the same line of work, so you always talk shop. All of the above are valuable friendships to me, they just tend to never become unconditional on every single level.

Right or wrong, when it comes to that area of my life, I’ve always held certain cards very close to my chest. In fact, the person I feel everyone knows, see me as rather one dimensional and genuinely  predicable. Very few truly know me. That’s just a fact.

I had a really great day. How about you?

My point? Today I did something kinda brave. I wasn't using cymbals or anything but it was brave just the same. 

Unexpectedly, a friend properly signaled asking permission to change their 'friend lane' & I let them.

I trust this person implicitly but we've always just shared the type of friendship that simply enjoyed the others sense of sarcasm and fun. You know the lane; they see all the good and never the bad. They get the laughter, the humour, the camaraderie  but never a single moment of bitching or negativity. 

To their credit; they'd been sensing something was wrong for quite a while, and today they finally opened our door. “Why were you upset?” they asked. After I refrained from answering they said “It's no big deal. Shit happens. Spill the beans. It can’t be a that bad…” Just like that they reached out;  I was not only shocked, I was touched.

Though we talked of many things out of the norm today, I never did share my true disappointment with them. Why? It's been my personal experience that if you dwell on something that's disappointing you, it just hangs around longer than you want it to. Kinda like an expensive ill fitting bra or an extremely bad hair colour episode.

That said, I am so glad I was brave today. I didn’t have to run as hard as I could in the opposite direction as my picture suggests; I just simply closed the book at my page marked “disappointment” and opened up YouTube.

My first search? Cymbal playing penguins and sleeping Polar Bears.

Because life is very short, and you can never get your proper fill of cymbal playing penguins :)