SERIOUSLY? You Can't HEAR Me???

“... frustration is a common emotional response to opposition” 

~ WIKIPEDIA

Though I started today in an excellent frame of mind, it turned into something unexpected (leaning toward downright confrontational) by lunch. 

When placed in a situation like today I try not to frustrate. I am sure it’s because I consider myself to be an above average communicator. (That, and the fact that I force myself to be extremely diplomatic.)

My verbal communication skills are key to me. They give me the ability to break something into its simplest form and easily articulate all the required detail. That skill is expected when giving solid direction. It's been my personal experience that people gravitate toward that style of leadership and appreciate it.

Let me back up. It's bigger than communication. It's about reading people. I know for a FACT that I can read people incredibly well. The tone of someone’s voice and how they interact with me gives me a pretty good read on whether or not what I am saying is resonating. 

Now to my point. For the last couple of days I have been trying to mentor someone that refused to concede that I may know more about a specific scenerio. I’ve taken it slow, I've gotten louder, and I've gone on the record with “you’re not hearing me.” At the end of the day, I can tell you right now they won’t be successful because they've made it about Rhondi and not the task at hand. Truthfully? Should have played the well known preschool teaching principle of “close your mouth and open your ears” 

I get the whole Mars/Venus thing I really do. But like anything in everyday life when something is broken you try to fix it. In this case it appears you can’t fix stupid… I mean stubborn! 

Happy FIRST Anniversary To US!

Today is the first anniversary of Ya Gotta Laugh About It; not only is it the first anniversary, today represents my 100^th post. When I look back at my stats, my very first offering received a whopping 58 hits, my how times have changed. They’ve changed thanks to all of you!

In preparing for today I took a peek at the past. When I look at the previous 99 posts they all have a unique and neatly woven slant. As silly as it sounds they all represent something really close to me at a point in time when I needed share. Some tell a story that only I know, some were so painful to write they still bother me to read, and some were just me being lighthearted and fun.

I’m not proud to admit that this time last year I was lost and extremely lonely. I started this thingamajig as an outlet; a way to personally cope and not focus on the boatload of negative energy in my life, hence the title. Irrespective how the name came to be, one year later I am pleased to report it’s been a very interesting journey.  It really does feel great to know I have come out the other side relatively unscathed.

Are there scars? Absolutely! Can I look at every single one of them with understanding and love? Like everything in life, some things are harder to reconcile than others. Some wounds have only recently scabbed over but in time I am confident they too will fully heal. They always do.

Thank you my friend. This says it all.

I am grateful for each and every one of you that have inboxed me with your comments and concern, as well as your unconditional support and feedback. I am humbled by all that made an effort to stop me in the grocery store, yell to me in any given parking lot, or start a  phone conversation or text with …“Hey Rhondi did you post? I love your blog!”

A year later, I'm quite proud of this funky little make work project. It  has brought my sister and I closer together, helped me grieve the loss of loved ones, not to mention was the conversation starter that blossomed a life changing friendship.

It's been a blast! Be it my love of chicken or a memorable three word sentence; my HENS, my dogs, my Chiroprator or something as simple as a surprise... it's all been extremely cathartic to share.

On that note, I'd like to show my appreciation to each and every one of you for reading. Your support has in turn helped me understand first hand that "life is too short to let the glass half empty crap win".. So HEY each and every one of you folks.. THANKS!

See Ya Next Summer Smartie!

Let me start by saying Whitehorse, YT is 5,675 kilometers away from me, proving what I know to be true,  distance is not for the fearful. Let's face it; distance means so little when a person means so much. Here goes...

A very quiet and relaxing Friday night led to an early morning rise. After coffee Saturday, Brian text letting me know he had hoped his meetings would end by mid-afternoon. Just like that my Saturday was solidified and my 'quest for a really great dress' was on.

The good news? The shopping was amazing. Bad news was I didn’t find a dress. The really bad news was when I hooked up with Brian after his meetings he refused to continue shopping. “I didn’t come all this way to hold your purse and yell at people within earshot 'I’m not paying for that’…!” We headed out on foot and agreed that shopping was not an option.

The Hilton Hotel Downtown
"Aren't you glad you called in sick the
day they were shooting The Godfather?"

With our 'no shopping rule' in place we walked through Dundas Square and trekked farther up Yonge Street. We then turned around and headed all the way down to The Esplanade for a really nice dinner. We walked back to Nathan Phillips Square; enjoyed the fake snow being produced for The Cavalcade of Lights, then made our way across to the Scotiabank Theatre. Because Brian refused to expend his energy bowling, he conceded and let me browse one of my very favourite stores (Chapters on Queen Street). Tired, we decided to walk back without seeing a movie. 

With our arms locked in comfort, our laughter filled the air. I can’t believe the natural chemistry this friendship has enjoyed for over 20 years.

As our night ended we hugged, he kissed me on the cheek, and I told him I loved him. As he hailed me a cab, I headed back to my hotel. All I could do was smile and remind myself that July will be here before we know it.I can tell myself that all I want but I miss him already.

Oh, just so you know, I did find a dress on Sunday. A very elegant, very sexy, purple lace ditty that I know he would absolutely love. Not because he looks at me like that but because at the end of the day he didn't have to pay for it!

Cheers my friend...

Walking Singing Bopping Thinking

When I left work tonight I was exhausted. A pretty good day all around but by the end I just wanted to head home and crawl into bed. Knowing that wasn’t an option I rallied. Thank goodness I had my walk home to look forward to; fresh air, brisk pace, and great tunes.

Walking tonight I was definitely in the zone. Not because a certain rhythm called my name but because it was cold outside and I am afraid of the dark. Seriously, the gully by the golf course totally freaks me out. The quicker the beat the faster I walk.   

Motivated I plugged in and fled. Peaceful Easy Feeling (Eagles), Save The Last Dance For Me (Michael Buble), Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Monty Python), ending with Tears of a Clown (Smokey Robinson). My specific song lineup had me home about four minutes faster than normal. Impressive considering I was wearing heels and zero caffeine was involved.

Point of my post is that the last song unusually caught my attention. Tear of A Clown has been stuck in my head since I attended my very first Panda Game Weekend in Ottawa back in the fall of 1984. That said, tonight the lyrics resonated “the tears of a clown… when there’s no one around…”. As I arrived home and headed down the driveway I wondered; was it the beat of the song or the serious message that has had me obsessed for decades?  Without hesitation I knew my answer. Who cares?

The words in the song may describe how I've been feeling BUT I am pleased to report that I have another 573 song downloaded that I can listen to. Once again proving my glass is half full. 

Just the same, I found this interesting rendition of my song on YouTube. Still love the original the best. Sorry Smokey just keepin' it real...

CHEERS!

...Answers Are in Front Of You My Love

I read a Facebook status this week that had me doing a double take. It read “I wanna be my old self again…” and my heart sank. All I could do was close my eyes and take a deep breath. The status update belonged to my only daughter.

My Sweetie n' Me
Taken: July 2002

Staci and I have always been close. She’s a really great egg. She has always been a very hard worker and isn’t remotely mean spirited. Can her buttons be pushed? Absolutely but at the end of the day find me a woman's that can’t be! One of her most amazing qualities is that she's kind. She's kind, sincere and very trusting.

It’s been tough few months watching her transition to her next set of life choices. After she finished school last spring, I thought the sky was the limit for her. I figured she’d stay in the smaller city to the south and continue in the field she had graduated from. Instead, she insisted on moving back to Muskoka. To respect her choice, she was unconditionally moved home.

Let me start by saying when it comes to interacting with people, Staci isn’t me (and I know she just said “Thank God” out loud as she read that). I am an extrovert and she is an introvert. She has a core group of 50 friends and I have a core group of 2000 acquaintances. I can count my true friends on my hands (with no toes required) and she does the same with her acquaintances. What can I say, she's her father and her twin brother David is me.

No matter how I try to justify, it still bothers me to sit back and watch people take advantage. But let's face it, those types of people are everywhere in day to day life. Only Staci can weed out the good from the bad, which is probably why I really haven’t said anything. I'll admit, her return home has us living more like roommates. That said, she's an adult; and though we may live like ships passing in the night, I think it's time. Time to put our energy and love together and get her back to her old self again.

How will that happen? By helping her sort out exactly where she wants to be and how she wants to get there. Matter a fact, I think she and I should start by making a list. I think we best finalize her list in front of the pool and walking along the beach in South Carolina over Christmas. 

That way, she can ring in the 2013 with a tan and a solid mission. Because let me tell ya, when it comes to this gal, the sky's the limit! 

I love you my Sweetie...

She’s One Tired Social Butterfly

WOW, today was brutal for me. I am positive that I depleted 95% of my Serotonin enduring my whirlwind Saturday alone. By the time I got home from the surprise birthday party (which I’d totally forgotten about) Sunday, I swear I was buying the above mentioned precious chemical via high interest credit.

HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW?

What I did to myself this past weekend, takes me a good 72 hours to recover from. The real downer to my situation is that I honestly know better. And that admission right there makes me nothing other than a total sucker for punishment.

I've honestly known since Labour Day this stretch until Christmas would be a marathon and not a sprint. So when I reminded myself today of the remaining chaos, I just shook my head and rolled my eyes.

It's a crazy busy time of year for me at work and it just so happens that my social dance card is jam packed full as well. As I booked my room this morning in Toronto for the weekend, I just sighed. How did I get myself into such a free fall of social obligation?

Well, just like the HENS, Brian’s business trip was postponed a couple of times. In both instances, it didn’t matter when they happened I was in. Just so happens they fall exactly seven days apart. You’d think in seven days I could recover. Normally I would, but this week has me out of the office more often than not. I’m not complaining, I just have to focus my downtime.

That, and the fact that sometimes I should just say NO! I should say no but I won’t, don't want to, and probably never shall again. Life is too short and I have just recently discovered it can be really very fun.

Three word sentence? Fan-freaking-tastic! I know it's not a sentence silly but at least you get the gist...

If You Build It They Will Come... & Cluck!

True to form, I am seriously bagged. I'm pooched, whacked, bushed, and all and all just deadbeat wrecked but it was totally worth it. I had a great day yesterday and finally packed it in around one o’clock this morning.

Yesterday had been tentatively planned and cancelled six times this year. But you know what they say? Lucky number seven! I worked yesterday; grabbed my much needed Chiropractic treatment, then headed into the light, I mean hen house.

Colleen, Annie & Me. The original HENS

What started almost five years ago with a couple of girlfriends has really turned into an amazing sisterhood. 

We ARE the Hens! 

Some I see regularly, some I stay in touch with via Facebook, and some I only see in the hen house. We land, we catch up, we eat, we roll. We sing, we dance and we crash, precisely in that order. 

The food and fun was to die for but it’s always the laughter, insightful conversation and camaraderie that makes it so meaningful. Like any great event, you have to have a highlight reel. That's right, before we make new memories we have to discuss and howl with laughter at the memories we already have. I’m sure next year the heated discussion at dinner about my specific lingerie choices (and the laughter that ensued) will be right up there; Shades of Grey and whatever happened to my Friday caller will be numbers two and three.

As the evening progressed, it got loud quickly. The best part about how big our group was this year? Our singing really sounded remarkable considering our blood alcohol levels. Who knew every single one of us, knew every single word to BTO’s Taking Care of Business. And that veteran Hen Stephanie, had a photographic memory for song lyrics. Man can she sing Led Zeppelin! Bazzzinga Henfriend!

All and all, this year we hit an out of the park home run. When it comes to this crew, there will never EVER be a dull moment. That right there makes the breathing through my eyelids today totally worthwhile.

What’s Your Sign Baby? Exit!

I totally answered this question today but that's not the reason for my post.

My friend Tim landed in the hospital unexpectedly this week. Last night my quirky sidekick Colleen and I stopped in after work to say hello. Tim didn’t expect to see us so we didn’t stay long. For the record, he looked like he was feeling, really really crappy! A little blunt? Nah, I know he appreciated our surprise; because let’s face it, I only do good surprises.

To the point of my post. Joking around last evening I asked Sir Tim a question and his response was “I am a Libra.” Thinking the morphine just kicked in I dismissed it. Then I recalled Colleen talking 'signs' earlier in the evening. Chatting on my way home tonight, Tim mentioned his sign yet again. That (combined with the dialogue I had with a bat shit crazy Architect I had to sit next to for dinner a couple of weeks back) got me thinking. Is there really any truth to astrology?

Just like my Dad, I have always read my horoscope. I’m an Aries; and by definition of what RAMS are, I pretty much fit the profile. So I immediately wondered; who am I compatible with and who am I not? I started to dig.

Tim’s a Libra. He’s easy going, fair, creative and a good communicator (it doesn’t mention humour but he’s crazy funny). I see how we get along. Colleen is a Cancer. We’ve always loved the qualities the other possesses and together our synergy makes us the perfect business woman. Keeping that trend in mind, one of the most important people in my life right now is a Capricorn. Their traits are very similar to an Aries. I was shocked. How can it be that we get along? I thought the rule of thumb was that 'opposites attract?' 

Honestly? I don’t care what the stars say and I guess that's because I have a pretty simple personal philosophy. If I want you in my life you’re in it, if I don’t you aren’t.

Direct enough for you? Guess I really am an Aries through and through!

20 Things Real Men Never Say!

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude.

2. No, I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.

3. Her boobs are just far too big.

4. Sometimes I just want to be held.

5. Sure, I’d love to wear a condom.

6. I have not been to the mall for ages, let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse.

7. Screw Monday Night Football. Let’s watch Dancing With The Stars.

8. It’s late. Put your clothes back on and I’ll take you home.

9. Honey, I’m going to the store, do you need tampons?

10. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.

11. I’m sick of beer; give me a large fruit juice with a lemon twist.

12. Great, your Mother is coming to stay with us again.

13. This movie has way too much nudity.

14. I better get rid of these old Playboy magazines. I don’t look at them anymore.

15. Damn, we’re late for church!

16. No, I don’t want to see your sister’s boobs.

17. Put your bra and panties on for Christ’s sake.

18. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor Tammy knows that her bathroom drapes are open. Maybe I should tell her.

19. No way, you weeded the garden and washed the car last week, it’s my turn now.

20. I understand.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts?

My day was skipping right along yesterday when I sent a friend of mine (that I thought was deer hunting) a quick comical text. For obvious reasons, I wasn't expecting a response until dusk. Instead I was surprised to received a detailed text quickly. All I could do was stare at my phone.

He was unexpectedly at the hospital with his Father and they were running tests. Though I would consider us close (I knew his Mother had passed) he'd never mentioned his Dad was ill. Of course, immediately I wanted to help. Knowing how confident and strong willed he is, I willingly stepped back.

We chatted at length today and he offered a few more details as well as his very personal perspective. I have an amazing amount of respect for this person, not to mention the journey he is about to take. I know he'll have the unconditional support of his wife and family but it's still going to be a very personal journey for him. Though he and I can literally talk about anything; when it comes to this conversation, I have to let him lead. This has nothing to do with me other than I want him to know that I'm here for him no matter what he needs. 

When something like this happens I always step back and ask myself a million cosmic questions. The most specific being "is there a predetermined reason that we are in each others lives at this moment in time?" I've been asking myself that question a lot lately. When it comes to this lad, I don't really care, I am just extremely glad we are. I honestly believe he and I are meant to be exactly where we are in our friendship at this point and time in our lives. Some may find that silly, I do not.

I'm here for you no matter what my friend...

So my thoughts drift. I can't wait to see him next. I am going to wrap my arms around him and hold him really really tight. Then I am going to offer him the only words I know when it comes to an ailing parent. 

Telling him I love him wouldn't exactly be appropriate, so all I will do is offer him my positive energy and whisper in his ear...

"It'll be OK".

My Knee Jerk Decision Had A Price...

I have always embraced my ability to measure and make quick decisions.

As someone who continually over analyzes, I'll admit that the odd time I will make an unconditional decision without assessing the overall risk. For me, a rare knee jerk decision always results in a strong dedication to my choice.

For whatever reason, I tend to commit to any long shot far longer than I should. Not because I have doubt but because I am (for lack of a better word) "committed". Guess it's safe to say that my ingrained optimism can sometimes end up being like kryptonite .

As my harshest critic, the hardest pill I ever have to swallow is my own. At the end of the day, I have to admit (gulp) that I was wrong. I don't mind being wrong because I always find I learn from it.  But in the case surrounding this post I was really far gone wrong!

How far gone? Someone had to turn around and buy me a vowel. Actually, on this one, I needed all available consonants, as well as the entire Greek alphabet purchased. Makes no matter now, it's over and done with.

...Once again proving to me that life is really tough right up until the minute it isn't!

My Big Sister is My Forever Friend

"Our roots say we're sister.
Our hearts say we're friends!"
Taken: June 2005

"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters and brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. 

Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition 

that people have to work at..." 
~ Maya Angelou

I had a great call with my sister the other night. It was totally amazing and long overdue.

When the phone rang I thought it was my girlfriend Andrea and started to chat accordingly. It wasn’t until she questioned the dialogue that I realized it was my big sister calling. I was ecstatic!

Though she and I have plenty in common, fact of the matter is we were born a generation apart. When I was young, that constantly presented challenges because we shared a bedroom. It was her record player, they were her records, and I was nothing but a big fat boil on her ass...

We may have been born almost a decade apart but certain challenges have kept us tightly woven together. I remember the day I arrived home from school to discover she'd been asked to move out. I was nine years old. My father was furious at my mother, and I was lost. For almost a year I was kept in the dark but she eventually sought me out. When I told my mother we'd met, I was instructed "never to speak to her again." Still a very painful memory.

I'm not pleased to admit that I too rebelled against the regimen. Just so happened my Dad wasn't going to let history repeat itself. After all these years, I honestly feel that her misfortune's a credit to my good fortune. She truly paved my way.

The biggest thing I am grateful for? That her timeline in life was different than mine. As a result, we raised our families together. Because she never drove (and I had Fridays off) for the better part of a decade we spent Friday's together. I look back at that now and willingly admit that I couldn't have survived the 90's without her!

As sisters, when all is said and done, there are very few things we are truly competitive about. All night, head to head, Trivial Pursuit jumps to the front. But nowadays SongPop seems to be tripping the radar. Truth? Just so we're clear, I know she lets me win the odd one so I'll keep playing. Just so we're really clear, I am totally fine with that approach.

I love you Andrea... I can't wait to spend an entire week on the beach with you. Just so you know, it's not going to be like Jamaica was last year. The packing weight of Trivial Pursuit totally trumps the shoes and extra crap I take on this trip. 

Two words. BRING IT!

The Hammer n' Me And Smartie Made Three...

The Three Caballeros
Taken: July 2002

Boy this photo takes me back! I found it at the cottage yesterday and had to share.

It was snapped more than a decade ago. It was taken at a company ball tournament, that hosted the  North American Manufacturing facilities. I think back with fondness and a real comfort that these two lads were/are a very big part of my life.

The sweet gentleman chirping in my ear is David (aka The Hammer) Grant and he was my boss at the time. Looking at the photo, I’m pretty confident he’s just insulted me. All in good fun; because let's face it, if it got him a laugh, he went for it! With that in mind judging by the veins bulging out in his neck, I’m positive he didn’t like my retort, nor the fact that I refused to put my arm around him for the photo. I lost Dave to ALS on December 12, 2011.

The handsome bloke on the other side of me (that I have my arm comfortably around) is one of my dearest friends and someone that holds a very important place in my life.  Brian (aka Smartie) Smart and I have been friends since we met in 1994. He didn't grow up in Muskoka but married a gal that did. Boy, our friendship was an outta the park home run from the start.

Since he moved to Whitehorse it's never made much matter that he lives a million miles away from me. Whenever we chat, it's like it was yesterday. Brian and I have never been farther than a phone call or email away.  (He FINALLY got a Blackberry for work a few months back so BBM has softened our communication plight.)

It was great to spend time with him last June and I can't wait to get together when he returns to Ontario week after next. We hope to hit Actinolite for dinner so that he can see my son David, and I want to take him to this amazing 10 pin bowling alley downtown I love. Most of all, I can't wait to wander the streets of downtown Toronto and chat.

My glass on this one is definitely half full. I can't believe that I get to see Smartie face to face twice in one year. From where I'm standing, that makes me one lucky gal!

Officially Closed For Business!

As predicted, I awoke this morning with bells on and a mission in mind. When I have a lot of different things I need to accomplish, I get myself organized before I even start. That way, with a plan of attack and I am far more productive.

Still in my jammies, one look at the local weather forecast had me instantly change my list of things to do. Without hesitation, I knew first up had to be closing the cottage. So I hauled out my long johns, located my gloves, and chose a winter coat. I threw that puppy on and SHAZAM! Found twenty bucks in the left hand pocket so I was giddy from the get go.

Once I landed, everything went like clockwork. Started in the upstairs bedroom and worked my way down (packing and cleaning as I went). Keep in mind I'd carted crap in there since March and most of it had to make its way up the hill today.

Clothes are clothes. I have cottage items that stay put but my 182 bathing suits needed to make their way home. The suits were nothing compared to the shock I received packing the upstairs bathroom. I have a floor to ceiling shelf and that sucker was packed. An entire bag full bag of hair and skin care products alone. Holy small fortune Batman!

Peace Out Orillia Lake. See ya next season!

As I headed downstairs I was amazed at what had to be packed. I can’t believe the amount of food I lugged up the stairs. So much so that I had to bring an additional chest freezer in from the garage to house the overflow. The good news is that there was little waste.

Everything from the outside was brought inside and everything was put where it needs to be for the duration. The downstairs bedroom is packed to the rafters and the door was sealed so that if I do go in over the winter it will heat quickly.

I’m not sad the cottage season is over. I love winter. I know I’ll enjoy downhill skiing on Sundays and I’ve been thinking. I haven’t owned a pair of cross country skis since before the kids were born. Seeing that I won't run during the winter, maybe I can cross country ski the golf course with the dogs. I've walked the course via snowshoe for years because I've always had a dog on a lead. Knowing they'll both stay within earshot? That right there makes me want to go shopping!

Peace Out Orillia Lake… You’re officially closed for business!

I'll See Your Rake And Raise You A Shovel!

Well hello again and welcome to the official opening to my weekend from hell. I'm here to report that my list of things to do, is as long as the days will be getting everything accomplished. As I dozed off last night I was pretty sure the snow may impede my ability to get the fall leaves cleaned up. When I pulled in the driveway after work today, all I could verbalize aloud was "this is one hot mess!"

I honestly don't mind doing the leaves. I love the exercise as well as the fresh air. It's also the time of the year that you can really observe what going on in the back forty. It's wide open and absolutely beautiful. If it's a nice day, you may see a couple of deer or maybe even the resident fox. It really is great living in the centre of town and feeling like you're actually out in the country.

The fall leaves have been a bit of a bait a switch chore for me this year. For about the last month, I'd land home telling myself that 'I would start' but it seems something to better occupy my time always came along. Standing at the top of the hill tonight, I've some major regret that I have haphazardly postponed the annual task.

2011 Official Leaf Raking Day
WOW! If Mom's using a rake... we're gonna be here for a while!
Taken: November 29, 2011

Why the fret? Well, the yard gets dumped on so bad that every year the fallen foliage always gets shovelled. 

You read that right; I grab the big honkin' snow shovel out of the garage and go to town. Because the yard is quite large I also enlist the help of a 20’ x 20’ tarp (to load them onto and haul them over the hill & into the gully).

You're probably wondering why I don't use a leaf blower. Simple, the shovel is faster and easier on my ear drums. I was hoping we'd have one last sunny spurt to dry them out a little but I am thinking I'll have no such luck. My procrastination has them suckers thicker than a seven layer dinner and wetter than a ....never mind, you get my point.

So here I sit, staring at the screen, carefully weighting my options. Maybe I should call both high schools Monday and offer Community Service hours to students to clear my yard. That way, I can get up bright and early tomorrow, head to the cottage, and warm it up one last time before I shut it down. That leaves me Sunday (no pun intended). One whole day to get the "in town stuff" on my list done. All else fails, I'll can continue working on my list next weekend.

Wait a minute. Next weekend I am getting together with the HENS. I wonder if I can get high school students to clean out my garage and put up my exterior Christmas lights when they're done the yard?

There's no such thing as a bad question right?!

Thanks For The Memories

I have a big weekend coming up. If you must know it's because I am closing the Peacock’s Nest for the season. As I do every year, I've been watching the weather like and hawk. Tried all week to arrange one last cottage adventure but the forecast of snow confirms it's time. I'll give me an “E” for effort; I'd love to keep it open, but closing it down is the right thing to do.

Like any great story; this cottage season had a start, a middle, and an end. When I look back to this past winter ending, I was a little lost on how my next chapter would unfold. I celebrated my birthday with a bang and never looked back. I became focused. I dug in my heels and told myself that everything was going to be alright. As silly as it sounds, once my mind was made up it was as simple as that.

As an aside, I always try to include a picture with my post. Something that either inspires my thoughts or helps me understand where I'm at in the moment. This photo was taken in July 2007. I chose this particular photo for a reason.

Cottage Life July 2007

When I look at it, (myself then vs myself today) I can clearly acknowledge that am not the same person. 

Not because my life then was filled with darkness and now I have light; but since it was taken I've become a much more independent person far less controlling of my surroundings. 

I use to feel like a bit of a puppeteer. To compound that,  I never had the ability to let anything go. I no longer feel the compulsion of either. I honestly only worry about the choices I make. Guess that's why they are called "my choices".

This past cottage season I have met some amazing new people and enjoyed some incredible personal milestones. I promised myself I would do a back dive before the season ended and I did. All I can say is thank God I have an amazing Chiropractor. As bizarre as its sounds; as I pushed  my personal fitness boundaries he’s one of the things I am truly grateful for.

Thanks for the 2012 memories Orilla Lake. After this weekend, the next time you'll  see me I'll be wearing snowshoes, which in itself produces one of my favourite three word sentences...

 Fine by me!

♫♪♫ Deck the Halls with Sleeves of Golf Balls...♪♫♪

Driving home from the Fall Cottage Life Show Sunday night I made an executive decision. The decision's to get the hell out of here for Christmas and head south. Just like that, a road trip was born.

Dear Santa,
I've been a really good girl. Please bring sun
and make sure my putter shows up.
Thanks. R

Once I'd made the decision, it was like it was meant to be. I initially looked at a number of destinations; but after speaking with a very nice gentleman yesterday,  I've been busy dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s on a rental agreement. An agreement that will house me in a pet-friendly condo just 200 ft from the ocean in South Carolina. 

The upcoming festive season has been on my mind for quite a while. I guess driving home Sunday I finally asked myself "why wouldn't I do this?" 

As a family, we started heading south for Xmas when the kids were small. We always made reindeer feed Christmas Eve, and had a full Christmas dinner the following day. It was relaxing, it was different. I always loved that we'd have to wear sunglasses to drink our coffee in the morning. Just like me, the overall experience was unconventional.

There are a lot of really personal reasons I don’t want to hang around for the festive season. None which are applicable to this particular post (so be a peach and don't inbox me and ask why). I have invited the twins to join but no matter what they decide I'll leave once business officially closes for the break.

Based on my calculation, I will sleep just outside Washington DC the first night. Well rested, I will check in the following day with time left over. I'll do the groceries, put up a little tree, hang my festive lights on the balcony, and spit polish my golf clubs (not necessarily in that order).

In booking my stay I was told that in the off season "well behaved dogs can go off leash." I'm thinking that has to be better than a box of really great dog treats right there. What the girls don't know is that they have to be crated when I am on the golf course. 

NOTE TO SELF: Buy LOTS of really GREAT dog treats. The girls are gonna seriously be pissed at the amount of time they  have to be crated!

Thanks Bossman. Greatly Appreciated!

Have you ever had a day when you take a step back and say “I am exactly where I need to be at this point in my life?” Well today was one of those days for me. Out of the blue I called on a friend; for help, reassurance, & support. It turned out that person just happened to be my boss.

With my children grown and gone, I look back and realize I really haven’t transitioned from very many jobs. The ones I have had, I've always tried to move forward, taking away something positive. 

I will admit, as a mature woman I have worked for different types of people. Some of those employers I considered mentors; one in particular will never EVER be on my Christmas card list, the other three land somewhere in between.

As I have blogged before, "I am one of the lucky in life that enjoy what I do for a living."

I find it funny when people pat me on the head and ask me if I’m still doing 'such and such'. Makes no matter to me; I may be 'small town' but I am anything but 'small minded.' I have never walked away from a challenge and I've always lived my life as if the sky's the limit. I am me and that's how I roll.

As the self professed "Post It Note Queen" at work, I couldn't resist this particular graphic. The graphic may be for effect but it's message is extremely sincere and very heartfelt.

Thanks Bossman! You have no idea how much your support means to me.

The Classic Sean Kelly... I Really Miss Him.

Backstage after performing the Pirates of Penzance

I woke up in the middle of the night last night. I’d been dreaming. I wasn’t scared nor startled; in fact, right before I awoke I know I heard music and laughter.  I'd been dreaming of Sean.

I was blessed to have known Sean Kelly the better part of my life. I think I was 16 the first time I babysat for him and Mary Ann.  They had a young family and lived in a beautiful century home; which has since been torn down and is currently the local fire department parking lot.

Like any small town, it was tightly knit. Growing up, my next door neighbour Joyce worked for Sean. Then, when we bought the house next to Rob and Connie, he'd always chat with me (both before and after then Men of Song rehearsed) over my chain link fence. We`d been acquaintances forever but it was our mutual love of music and theater that sealed our friendship.

From the very first time I stepped on stage he was right there with me. For six months a year, for almost a decade, we were inseparable. He`d always greet me with a hug and never be too shy to offer a new joke. Matter a fact, it was his encouragement that eventually led me to choreography. To this day, I remember how much fun I had teaching the boys to dance staging Guys and Dolls.

Yes, we had a blast. My phone would ring at the office and with not so much as a hello, I`d hear “do you know how cold it is outside today Rhondi?” To which my standard response was “...soooo cold you saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets?!”

Roaring laughter was how we rolled, that was classic Sean.

I know it's been years; but to this day I miss the ability to pull up his lap. I'd hand him a quarter (he always made me pay to ensure attorney/client privilege) and I'd tell him what I had going on. I could tell him anything. He believed in me. I mean really believed in me and for that I am eternally grateful.

If I close my eyes I can take myself back. Thirty of us crammed into the guys dressing room at the Opera House and Ken would start; Sean, Liam, Paul, Tutti et all would join. The harmonies were crisp and sounded amazing. To this day, The Lion Sleeps Tonight is still one of my very favourite songs. The bass line in particular.

Thanks for the memories Sean. I miss you everyday and will love you always.

Time For A Good Fall Cleaning!

For whatever reason, I am feeling a little under the weather. The reality is today is the third day in a row I won’t be venturing into work.  At first I thought it was my body telling me to stop and regroup. This morning I am thinking it’s something much bigger than that.

Here’s a question for you? Have you ever had a “record scratch moment?” 

You know the type; when something happens and it’s like time freezes? All you hear is the needle dragging across the vinyl rrrrrrrrrrrrr and when it stops there’s just an eerie silence. 

I had three very personal “record scratch moments” in less than 24 hours this week. All three events involved completely different scenarios, each linked to very different facets of my life, each moment emotionally significant.

As I slept all day yesterday and tossed and turned all last night, I know it’s time. Time for a good fall cleaning. That’s right, time to take a good look around and start removing the excess emotional clutter.

Let's call a spade a spade. It’s been a hectic six months I completely get that. But I also know that a heap of emotion in my everyday life has truly subsided. Just as the leaves clutter up the front lawn and gully, for various reasons I feel a similar clutter in my thoughts. Hence my need for a good fall cleaning. The question is where to start? 

Maybe I’ll flip a coin. As a leader, I’ll want to be fair. I think the one side of my coin most definitely should be “never go to bed angry.”  Then, to honestly find balance, I must insist that the other side of my coin remind me that “I can’t want this enough for everyone else.”

Just like that, the clearing of clutter is underway!

Have Dogs Will Pedal…

Years ago I was given a five seat pedal boat from the guys developing the Birch Haven Resort property on Lake of Bays. It was never in great shape but hell FREE made it perfect. And from the time it landed in the water at Orilla Lake, it’s always been known as the boat that floats.

We have a water ski boat, as well as a row boat, but I spend the majority of my time in this kinda old plastic thingy that is really a sight for sore eyes. Why? I'll admit I enjoy the exercise but more importantly because my dog Dot is obsessed with it!

Sally, Dot, Casey & Goob

I guess the first dog to experience "The Beast" was Sally. In an effort to reel in the 'she terror' she was, we brought Dottie into the fold. Once Sally left us in July 2010, it quickly became evident that Dot was lonesome. I had always struggled with the Jack Russell tendencies Sally displayed but I absolutely loved her Beagle disposition. Hence my search for Daisy. She came to us via Kijjijji when she was five months old. 

Once I fully understood what a beagle needed, "The Beast" became an important tool to help Daisy exercise her nose. For hours at a time I would wander along the shoreline so that her sense of smell could get a workout. Never once did the boat that floats leave the dock without Dot in the back of it. 

Daisy n' Me

Dot and Daisy went together like peas and carrots. After Dot made it home and Daisy didn't, not only did she have to deal with the loss of her best friend, she was handed an eight week old puppy on a platter. 

When I moved to the cottage for the summer, the only thing Dot had that was hers was "The Beast". The pup was afraid of it initially, so naturally that was where Dot wanted to spend the majority of her time.

I remember making a promise that I would take her out for a pedal every evening and I did. By mid July, it was hot at night and Africa hot on the weekends. Made no matter to the dog. All I would have to say is one word "boat" and she was in it like a flash. 

With the summer behind me I would be remiss if I didn't say, "thanks Spottie Dottie!" My legs look amazing and that's part and parcel to you and your endearing obsession with the very ugly boat that floats.

My Sunbathing Buddy

My Reading Club Buddy

My Back of the Boat Riding Buddy

My Cavalcade of Colour Buddy

My Very Best Friend....

Six HENS None The Richer!

I love my HENS. I love the camaraderie we share, that we're all successful women, and that we always have a really good time. Who knew this silly lark would grow some legs and become somewhat of a sisterhood?

Due to a change in some regularly scheduled programming, this upcoming weekend has been postponed. So be it but suffice is to say, that our sisterhood reminds me of the afternoons I use to share when my children were small. A room full of like-minded women commiserating.

Back then we'd talk about which diapers were on sale and how long it had been since we'd last gotten laid. Must admit the latter produced the most round table banter as well as the most laughter and insight.

I was in heaven back then. Baby puke on my shoulder was how I rolled. Hanging the laundry outside on the line (because diapers and formula won out over hydro) was a given. Oh, and I made my own baby food. Let's face it; what else does a girl want to do other than spend every single Saturday with various fresh vegetables, boiling water, and a blender? Those were the days....

Seriously, twenty years later, the groups are the same but different. The HENS take me back to the MOMS. A time when I just wanted to have a minute and a half to myself. From the time I arrive in the hen house, I physically and emotionally decompress, exactly how I did with my coffee break crew as the children napped. That is the God' honest truth.

I’m not going to lie, I was a little disappointed this weekend didn’t work out. But at the end of the day, we are either all in or none of us are in. That’s what sisterhood is about right? And we are some crazy ass, really loud, fun loving sisters!

So Close and Yet So Far....

I remember the first summer I was away from home. I was living thirty miles south in an apartment with a guardian and four other figure skaters. I called home in the first week; I was physically exhausted, very lonely, and I remember it was a Thursday evening. I was crying. I asked for my dad. Without hesitation my mother yelled telling me to “stop it immediately and pull myself together”. To this day, it's been the most memorable life lesson about personal survival I have ever had. I was twelve.

Before David left last night we had an hour long heart to heart. It was genuine for both of us and (I feel) we were honest and sincere.  We spoke about how he was left in the city and assumptions were made about the situation he'd been placed in. Let’s just say, incorrect assumptions (on my part) were made. Yesterday the record was set straight.

I have always pushed my children. I have unconditionally supported them, and I have also stepped back so they could appreciate the dedication it takes to be successful. As discussed for the first time this weekend, nothing prepares a child to leave the nest. This weekend solidified that it’s not only my journey that has been difficult, so has theirs.

As a mother, it’s hard to admit that I've made some serious parenting mistakes, but I have. All three of my children are unique and as a result never a way to treat them perfectly equal.  It may not have always been equal but it's always been fair. That said, I am very respectful of the choices and the decisions they’ve made. Only time will tell them their true stories.

Just because you can't see me... Doesn't mean I'm not here.

As I sit at my desk this afternoon I am feeling a little like my pup in the picture. 

My children may think when they struggled the hardest I wasn’t there for them but that’s not true. I've never been out of earshot, my heart racing, a safe distance away. 

When it comes to David, I am glad he understands that I'll always be there for him.

All I can hope is that I will eventually be invited down the stairs. I have to think I will be but if I’m not at least now I will understand why.

Let The Festivities Begin...

One more sleep and Thanksgiving weekend will have officially begun. When it comes to holiday celebration, this upcoming weekend has always been one of my favourites. 

Before I had children, there would be some juggling between in-laws but nothing too crazy. After the children arrived, Poppa’s Camp became our Thanksgiving hike and Easter was always celebrated with Grandma & Grandpa Peacock. 

Thanksgiving 2009 - Grandma & Grandpa Peacock heading home...

As the kids grew, Orillia Lake would rotate with Lake Temiscaming for our celebration of Thanksgiving  festivities.

After my father passed, The Peacock’s Nest (weather pending) was the place to be. It was where the entire clan would land. 

Grandparents, even great grandparents made the trek. Aunts, uncles, boyfriends, girlfriends, cousins sister’s dog’s uncles twice removed, have all dined with us. It’s extremely tranquil this time of year. Hard to explain; it's like the water and air speak, warning you of a significant shift in nature.

In keeping with 2012 as the "year of change", I'd like to announce that I'm not sure what is happening this weekend. Dave’s trip north is more like a play date, and it seems we have conflicting work schedules all around. Either way, I’ll take lots of pics of my chicks no matter what.

Admitting I am a bit of a control freak, I feel a little unsettled in leaving my much needed itinerary with the weatherman. First red flag is that I am leaving it up to a man, second is a valid Rhondi concern. Have you ever noticed that the weatherman is the only guy that can screw up at his job 100% of the time and never get fired? Seriously! 

All kidding aside, Canadian readers have a Happy Thanksgiving. American readers, you’ll have to wait. Apparently the best deals at Macys follow a parade hosted a large corporate adverting base with distribution rights belonging to General Electric (aka NBC).

Cheers!

3 Ring Circus Anyone?

"Start every day like it's going to be your best..." ~ Sir Tim Clarke (via Facebook)

GREET EACH NEW DAY 
(Heading to work 7:00am July 5th, 2012)

I woke up this morning and on a scale of one to ten I was a fifteen. 

From the time I opened my eyes and my feet hit the floor, I knew I was going to have a really great day. Fire engine red Rhondi was ready to go!

It was a perfect fall morning for my walk. Even though it was dark when I ventured out, my music choices set my stride as well as my mindset. My jaunt into work always prepares me mentally for the day ahead.

The day started top drawer but as it progressed the pressure cooker became a little more intense. Because I’m always the one motivating and reassuring, if I ever get quiet, the boys immediately call 911 and send in reinforcement. Today was Peanut M&M's which was totally amazing!

I’m not going to lie. I have so much going on in my life right now that the atmosphere is a little bit like a 3 Ring Circus. All three rings are definitely keeping me busy but in a great way. For the first time in a long time I don’t feel overwhelmed; I’m excited for everything I have going on in my life, and I am truly grateful for all the things I have to look forward to in the next six months.

The biggest change in me has got to be my attitude. Seems I can truly let go of what I can’t control. I wasn't capable of doing that a year ago, once again proving that personal progress is very empowering!

What is an ELECTRONIC FRIEND?

I’m sitting here sipping my only cup of coffee for the day, waiting for a reply to a BBM text message I just sent. Like any relaxing Sunday; I awoke this morning, headed to my desk, and with Blackberry in hand, sparked up a conversation with my very best electronic friend.

Your Sunday Morning Funny!

What do I classify as an electronic friend? Someone that I chat comfortably with but I spend very little time with face to face.

In the case of this particular thumbster, the amount of time spent together is in direct relation to how often young people actually chat on the telephone. Never!

Texting for me is something relatively new. Matter a fact, it’s exactly a year ago this week that I discovered my very first electronic friendship. (I had no idea what the hell they were doing scanning my PIN barcode but we’ve been great friends ever since.) I suppose up until that very moment, I was one of the eccentric few that used my mobile to actually talk, not text. In hindsight, since discovering Messenger, I find it hard to believe I only ever used my Blackberry for business and never pleasure.

All of that said; electronic friendships have their own set of challenges. For every great photo you share of your day, or sarcastic comment you make at the others expense, there’s always a chance that something may be misunderstood or taken out of context.

It may be the most convenient way to communicate but in the flash of a couple of sentences it can easily become the hardest. Think of it like a texting trapeze so to speak. There may be unified glory involved but there is always very extreme risk. Electronic friendships are like any trapeze, a very tricky balancing act.

As my my desk vibrates signaling that my phone family is ready to start the day, I can't help but I wonder what they are up to? I’m sure I’ll see pictures, bust a gut laughing, and sarcastically judge each and every iPhone/iPad user for the sheer joy of making my electronic day brighter. Then, after I enjoy this really great day (no matter by which means or medium), I'll thankfully hug my Blackberry for its contribution, as it reassuringly tucks me into bed tonight.

Back to my Muskoka reality at hand. I have to wash the kitchen floor, clean the bathrooms, and then head to the grocery store. Cheers Peeps and have a really great day!