THE ANGST OF IT ALL

I am feeling a level of anxiety in my life right now that I haven’t experienced in a very long time. I was chatting with my very best electronic friend yesterday and though he was no help whatsoever with my issue, he made me laugh about it. Which, as you know, is simply the best medicine.

I remember the day I took this photo. I was transitioning.
TAKEN: APRIL 2008

When we checked in with each other at lunch today, I admitted that I was teary.  What I didn't admit, was that  yesterday I led him to believe my angst was being fueled by one simple thing, the honest truth is that it’s more than that. 

My deeply ingrained fear of the unknown has taken over my very active imagination. It's not bad enough that I focus all day on the plethora of variables next week may bring, last night I dreamt about them. For some very obvious reasons, I don’t think that’s normal. So, here's the skinny.

When I left my dream job in December 2013, I really didn’t want to go. The truth of the matter is that I knew I had to; for my personal, as well as my emotional survival. After verbalizing my next move to a friend last Friday, I realized that there is still a very deep hurt inside me, that has yet to heal and it all doubles back to the way I was previously treated. I heard myself admit aloud that I worry that it will happen to me again. I don’t want to think like that but I have a zero sense of trust in a number of areas of my life and this dog infested with fleas is at the forefront.

As I share my feelings, I'm sure it must read like sad case of paranoia on my part but the dead nuts honest truth is that it’s sheer fear. I thought I would end my working career with this other company. I took their results and to a level they'd never previously experienced and in return I was treated like a big fat bag of poo. After such a hurtful experience like that, how does one ever trust again? 

Not sure if you'd agree but I've decided to have faith. At this juncture in my life, my heart tells me that it’s the best place to start.

Once again... Thanks for listening. 

I'LL ALWAYS LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON

Thank goodness this old 12 seater picnic table can't talk....!!
TAKEN: AUGUST 16th, 2015

We knew after spending our first summer on Orillia Lake that we eventually wanted to live out here year round. We also knew we had a major issue. Even though the cottage was winterized, the stairs and long driveway would never make living at the waters edge in the off season practical. So, since 2000 we’ve constantly discussed our options; and proceeded to approach a number of people for first right of refusal if they ever wanted to sell their property.

Well, this spring, my two doors down neighbour Shelly called with the news she was listing her cottage. Immediately interested, we let her know exactly that. Then, within the week, we discovered our beloved next door neighbour Lois had passed. When the sad news about Lois was delivered to us, her daughter let us know that they wouldn’t be making any decisions about the cottage until the end of 2015 season. For obvious reasons, with the other property becoming a summer rental, the one next door makes the most sense to hope for. Shelly completely understood.

As you know, Shelly is the ‘City Mouse’, to my equally charming ‘Country Mouse’ persona. We've always gotten along and I am pleased to report that she's landed here for the entire week. Suffice is to say that as soon as we both realized we were here together, we had to meet in our favourite chat spot; wading in the water on the beautiful beach that lands between us. 

 It was great to see her and catch up face to face. I enjoyed listening to what she has going on and share what’s happening with me. She admitted she wasn’t 100% sure that she wanted to sell the cottage and I can totally relate. Once you’re here and settled, it’s extremely hard to imagine being anywhere else.

After floating together for more than  3 hours, she was reflective and admitted she was torn, “I’ll truly miss it here,” she said. Hearing her say the words, my heart skipped a beat. Without hesitation, I made her the unconditional offer to return, at anytime. No charge.

Hell, what can I say? My cottage life won’t ever be the same if I never get to float or drown my sorrows with my superwoman counterpart. So, as promised yesterday Shelly, I'll always leave the lights on for you.

Or, shall I say... FOR US!!

MY MAD COTTAGE LAUNDRY SKILLS!

If you’re a young adult in Muskoka and working two jobs to get by, you know that the summer tourists and their spending are what keep you warm the following winter. The hard reality is that you work as much as you can whenever you are called upon, because when January hit, there's very little money to be made.

Well, Sunday evening, my daughter hit the wall. She has a full time & a part time job, and when she called me from the house completely exhausted, there were tears. Part of her heartache was a misunderstanding she'd had with her father but most of her emotion was her body telling her it was time to rest. The crux of her crisis was she’d worked 24 of the previous 48 hours (on her feet the entire time) and was in desperate need of her laundry done.

Quickest way to complete cottage laundry? Hang it in the rain to dry!
TAKEN: AUGUST 18th, 2015

Not gonna lie, with me starting a new job in 14 more sleeps, my situation is the opposite of my daughters. If there’s one thing I have right now, it’s a shitload of time on my hands. 

So, I told her to pack it up and I’d do it here at the cottage with my handy dandy washboard & tub & homemade wringer outterer; then, I hang it all out to to dry on my very sexy state of the art yellow polypropylene laundry line that I have tied to a big honkin' tree. 

As I was working my mad cottage laundry skills this morning, I realized I had done it again. I'd said one thing and ultimately done another. You know what I mean, when one side of the mouth scolds… “You have to be more independent and financially responsible,” whilst the other side says “pack it all up, I’ll pick it up, and deliver it home the next day!” 

I guess the simplest rational is that my daughter needed some help and I offered up my mad pioneer style laundry skills. You know what? I'm glad I did. She's working very hard to take her life to the next level and for that I'm truly proud.

As silly as it reads, my only issue was promising her a 24 hour turnaround time. The rain stopped early this morning but you can cut the humidity here with a knife. It's almost eight hours later and her things are still wet. As a result, I've had to jimmy-rig a couple of oscillating fans outside to expedite the completion of my task.

I know what you're thinking, just deliver the stuff home and she can throw it in the dryer. Nope, that's NOT an option.  Why? Because this time next month I'll be bitching about unnecessarily high hydro bills!

WHAT? At least I'm honest about it!!

EVERYTHING BLOOMS IN TIME

As I’ve written before, I’ve put so many miles on our five seater pedal 'boat that floats' that I stopped keeping track of the actual mileage when I figured I’d gone across Canada and back again. The nightly ritual started years ago with my beloved Daisy Marie. There were so many neat little inlets I could tour with her, just to help satisfy her keen Beagle sense of smell. At the end of the day, it made our time together very memorable. 

Anyway, with Dot’s hind quarters all but gone, I find myself back in that same routine. This time, we trek so she can comfortably cool off on her own, without confrontation or angst from the other two dogs. She’s never been much of a swimmer but I sense now more than ever she feels relief when I set her into the water. She has a solid trust that nothing bad will happen when I’m the water with her. 

The moral of my post is that this is the 9th summer I’ve headed to this particular spot (at least once a week) and much to my surprise, as I walked along the shore Saturday night, I happened upon some beautiful flowers that I’ve never seen in bloom there before. Aside from their vibrant beauty, I wasn't surprised that it took ten years for them to get there, simply impressed that finally everything around them aligned and they did in fact get to bloom.

With that last comment front of mind, I had lunch with one of my closest girlfriends last week and when I wandered upon this beautiful splash of colour, I instantly thought of her. 

She and I have always talked openly about our journeys of self-discovery. All I’ll say is, though I may not look at life the way I did five or six years ago, I never put a time limit on finding myself; it was never a race for me but a truly wonderful journey. A journey which no one else can pen the ending to... but yourself. 

I really was in awe when I spotted this splash of red. My goodness, just look at these flowers. I wanted capture the moment to remind my friend how amazing is it that we've all blossomed. Everything always does, when all the right element fall in line, in their own time!

I can't speak to what took the flowers so long to get there but in my case I will say this.

...Midlife just seemed like the perfect time to bloom.

PS: Photo cred goes to my husband.

PSS: Wish he woulda/coulda/shoulda mentioned that I was losing my swim shorts.

PSSS: Ya Gotta Laugh About IT! 

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

It's hard to explain how my mind has been at ease about my new direction since it was solidified almost a month ago. Though I know I can be dominant at times, when it comes to big life moves, I’ve always tried to look at things with a level head and extreme methodical calmness.  In this particular instance, I've evolved to a completely new level of well being; one that I've never experienced in my professional life before now. Could it be because my outlook on life has shifted? By making this small tweak, could all of my stress and angst have absolutely disappeared? The answer is YES!

Don't misunderstand, that doesn’t mean I won’t stand up and fight for what I believe in or what’s rightfully mine. I just know any faint desire I may have to be emotional and/or allow myself to be bullied isn't even remotely an option. You see, emotion isn't what is going to win this specific race; it will be the truth and the very well documented hard facts. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh, the silly little games people choose to play... *sigh*

May I present the only "Flamethrower" we own!
TAKEN: AUGUST 5th, 2015

Disappointments aside, I think most will be surprised to read that it’s my husband that's livid at certain people I trusted. Guess you could say he wants to "take a flamethrower to..."

KIDDING, he doesn't even own his own flamethrower. Unless you count the citronella torch we use when we play Canasta out on the deck & I'm confident he'd never want to give that puppy up.

You see, we need it on over drive to battle the hearty brood of mosquitoes that are still hanging around the cottage in the middle of freaking August!

Ya Gotta Laugh About It…

DO YA WANNA MOW MY LAWN?

HELP WANTED: Ball cleats provided to the successful candidate
TAKEN: AUGUST 2012

I am dead serious...

I’m my confident my husband won’t mind my asking the question. Frankly because it’ll save him feeling guilty for not taking care of the task himself.

I’m not kidding.

Just look at the friggin’ task at hand. For what it's worth, more than one mountain goat's admitted to TMZ they've found the task very intimidating, and that footage has gone viral!

As you know, yard work has always been my lane. I am admitting today that I’ve always struggled with tending the yard at the cottage. Going even further out on a limb, it's probably because the only flat piece of land we own (aside from the driveway at the top of the hill) is a 45 x 25 ft patch off the kitchen; everything else is literally on a 45 degree angle.

Early on, when tackling the task,  I did tumble down the hill into the lake. Though my ego was bruised worse than my body, I am pleased to report that when I landed in the water on my ass that the whipper sniper remained high in hand locked over my head and safe from harms way.

One to focus on solutions rather than any problem, from that very day on, I never started the arduous task without stuffing the ends of size 11 steel baseball cleats which guaranteed my perfect traction.

Though I finished the task at hand this afternoon,  inbox me if you'd like to offer your services next time around.

Ball cleats and mountain goat bragging rights will automatically be included!

SCENES FROM MY DECK

Last week, my very best electronic friend told me that he loves the fact that I honestly make the effort to greet each new day. It’s true. Though I may immediately end up stepping in dog shit when my feet hit the floor, at least from the moment I wake, I tell myself ‘she’s gonna to be a great day!'

Yesterday wasn’t quite as dramatic as the picture I’ve just painted but it wasn’t great.

Because the cottage is so close to the shoreline, the morn proved exceptionally damp and cold. So much so that I had to put a fire on in the woodstove before I sat at my desk. As I was whining via text about my dismal situation at hand, I was jokingly asked to “try and avoid suicide.” Though reading the snippet made me laugh, it literally had me snap into shape. Isn’t it interesting how certain words put stupid silliness into perspective?

Once again... I cheerfully greeted my day!
TAKEN: AUGUST 6th, 2015

Knowing it was dropping down to a balmy 11C last night, I closed all the windows in an effort to contain what heat I had generated.

When I woke & greeted this new day, there was a fog over the water telling me the water was warmer than the air. I pushed the button on the coffee maker and immediately moved my workstation out to the deck.

"No need to be inside, when you can be outside” my father always use to say.

Truth? The thought of sharing my waterfront office this morning never crossed my mind until I realized just how lucky I really am.

'...Livin' the dream' so to speak.

A dream that DID NOT require my cherished fuzzy socks today.

KEEPING MY EYE ON THE BALL

It’s unseasonably cold, as well as pouring rain outside here this afternoon. As I’ve mentioned before, because I’m living at the cottage and using my Blackberry as my only internet source, there are certain times of day that tend to tether best. Suffice is to say that by the time 3pm rolls around, I am borderline desperate to change gears.

The only minor downside to stopping early, is that there really are no rainy day amenities here. No satellite dish nor Netflixs to stream, just a bunch of well watched DVD’s and boxes filled with VHS tapes the kids use to watch when they were little. I have loads of books but I’ve read them all and the dogs hate board games. As I listen to the loud rain ping the steel roof above, I can feel myself brooding inside.

Why so glum? Well, as I officially transition, I’ve carefully selected the long term projects I am keeping and chosen which other consulting items have to go. As I slowly get my ducks in a row, I am finding myself a tad overwhelmed. Fold in my innate fear of the unknown and this afternoon has me questioning my decision to spend the next month here alone.

Just like with my Annie... Some things are easier said than done.
TAKEN: AUGUST 3rd, 2015

That said, as I confidentially wrap a blanket around myself to stay cozy, I truly feel that if I can simply stay focused and keep my eye on the ball everything will be okay.

Believe it or not, I use to give that advice to my clients/employers all the time. 

“Don’t worry about what your competitors are doing," I'd always say.  "The data doesn't lie.” 

“As soon as you turn your head to look at what others are doing, you lose your lead!”

As I hear myself typing and saying those words out loud, I'm feeling a little of the latter in my personal life. I have so much complete and total garbled bullshit noise happening around me that I’m worried I am losing my focus on what matters most; which is not even remotely an option.

So it’s official. I’m not going to turn my head and I am going to block out all the garbled noise of inconsistency, panic, unnecessary drama and overzealous demands. I am simply just going to keep my eye on the ball and knock it the hell outta the park.

Glass half full? Maybe the Jays will draft me!!

As the sun is now out and the sky is also clear…Thanks for listening.

I THINK I'VE FINALLY MADE IT!

I haven’t mentioned it before now but I’m in the midst of transitioning. I will be taking the month of August to tie up some loose ends, steamline some systems, then September 1st I am embarking on a new career direction. I’m excited about it & very few know the specifics. Truth be known, it’s been something I have been contemplating since this time last year. It was only today, when I broke the news to my closest confidant, that I realized the reality of what’s really happening with me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely happy with my choice. My husband and I have talked about it in detail but you know husbands; a happy wife's a happy life. In turn, they just nod their head a lot, agree with you 99.9% of the time, and hope the end result is a hug that turns into sex!

Never lose sight of the fact that we always learn
something of value from every person we meet.

Today, my lunch date was the opposite. I was able to articulate my plans and direction with my close friend asking pertinent, big picture questions. Aside from congratulating me, he instantly said what I also believe to be true. “I know you’ll be much happier!” 

There is something very comforting about our solid friendship that has grown over the years. What started out as an all business thing, has now matured into a deep respect for the each other’s lives and our families. He’s comfortable telling me what he & his wife and kids have going on, as am I with him, and we always make sure the others business interests are on track (which has always been our core). I guess you can say we’ve evolved into the others perfect sounding board. We've never spoken over each other, and we’ve always been unconditionally supportive of each other, no matter what our news may bring.

  

Anyway, because he had to unexpectedly grab something south of here, I decided to tag along and we drove about 30 miles south for lunch. With more than our usual hour to dine, there was an unusual amount of time to chat. I am pleased that I could quietly admit to him that I feel I have finally recovered from the summer of 2012. Though there still may be faint scars, for the emotional severity of what I went through, I have come out the other end relatively unscathed.

So there you have it. I’m moving on, I've made it though, and I am grateful. Ecstatic for an amazing career opportunity and exceptionally glad for this unconditional gift of friendship.

You see, his friendship really is a gift. A gift I am grateful I get to open every single day.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING!

I'll remember this moment for a very long time. BIZARRE!
TAKEN: JULY 24th, 2015

With summer in full bloom, I took last Friday to myself. I walked with Sweetie downtown to grab an ice cream cone and to wait for word that my friend had safely landed his plane at Muskoka Airport from his home base in Cleveland. 

I find it hard to fathom that he can be to me (or at least wheels to the ground in Muskoka from Cleveland) quicker than I can get in the car and drive to Toronto.

Long story short he was late. I was worried and Sweetie couldn't wait any longer to meet him. So I loaded her onto the trolley at the Falls and Puddy and I headed back through the downtown awaiting my good news call.

Here's where the story gets kind of neat. As I bent down to take this picture, another American friend was about to exit one of the storefronts in the distance. I didn't know it at the time and there was zero expectation that we would see each other, yet imagine my surprise when  he merged onto the sidewalk in front of me. It had been three years since we'd last met face to face.

When I called out to him, I honestly don't think he recognized me at first. At least that's how I read his face. To be fair, I don't blame him. Who would expect to bump into someone and their dog during regular business hours? Either way, I'm glad we chatted. My life may have moved away from the industry he services but it was nice to discuss my upcoming return face to face. Three years later I still feel the way I did when we were working together, which is that he's a really good person.

As my Cleveland buddy and I enjoyed lunch today I wanted to share how his stronger than normal headwind, changed my fate and had me bump into an old friend; yet, I didn't. Instead we talked for an hour about Muskoka and his quest to retire and buy a cottage here.

At the end of the day I think he could love Muskoka as much as our family does. The American dollar is strong and interest rates are extremely low. I guess we'll just have to wait and see where things go with that. Because, as Friday once again reinforced...

Timing is everything!

THE SKEETER/HACKSAW SAGA

Living at the cottage most definitely has its perks but it also comes with a long list of things to do that simply don’t take care of themselves. Changing out everything from deck boards to light bulbs, I’ve become a pretty hands on handyperson. (I’m working on a small hot water issue that has me bathing in the lake until the weekend but that's another post.)

I don’t know what things look like from where you’re sitting but from where I’m typing the mosquitoes are plentiful and some range up in size resembling small hummingbirds. Though life teaches one to appreciate quality and not quantity, some days I feel a swarm of skeeters could carry me from the car down the 55 steps and dump me at the sliding patio door on the deck. BBQing dinner last night, I’d had finally had enough, and hatched a plan.

Not stitch of brush was safe today. My buddy Gary would have been proud!
TAKEN: JULY 21st, 2015

You’ll be impressed when I share that I don’t run the chainsaw when I’m here alone, so a few years back I bought myself a hacksaw. 

Knowing what I had to do to get it done, I fetched it from the shed last night. Then, once the high noon sun hit today, I slathered myself in Muskol, and hit the back hill on a mission. 

Come hell or high water, I was going clear as much brush as I could to get some serious sunlight onto the hill to help Mother Nature burn them blood sucking skeeters to a crisp. Two hours later the remnants were hauled into a pile and I had gone as far as I could. I was sweaty and stinky. The good news is that there wasn’t a skeeter in sight. I gobbled my lunch, cleaned myself up and worked the afternoon away at my desk.

About  15 minutes ago I went outside to see if I had actually made a dent in my task at hand. Truth is, I couldn’t tell. The mosquitoes were so friggin’ bad that I just turned around and came back in the cottage. Guess I’m gonna give it another go tomorrow. Just like preparing a solid annual operating plan, more hacking and slashing (I mean sawing) shall happen tomorrow!

YUP, the skeeter/hacksaw saga continues. Something tells me I’m fighting a losing battle but at least I’m committed on giving it an honest go and not pouting when it simply didn't work out the way I wanted it to.

Afterall, we all know quitters never prosper!

MY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOY

My husband celebrated his 29th birthday last Friday. Because the 29th is a bit of a milestone, the kids and I took a cake and some balloons into his work to share with his office coworkers. Waiting for him to return, one of his newer team members that hadn’t met me before asked: “Are you the wife?”

My reply was quick and convincing. “Nope, I’m the girlfriend” I said. “Please don’t tell his wife” I continued; “Everyone else in town knows but I’m told she’s not a hair too bright!” Those within earshot burst into laughter.

After our delicious cake celebration was over, we scooped him up and headed home for the second part of his celebration. You see, when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday his request was a simple one. He wanted his boys to make him dinner. So, with a 7pm reservation, we headed to 155 in downtown Bracebridge.

(l-r) Jukebox, Birthday Boy, Goob & Sweetie.
TAKEN: JULY 17th, 2015
CLICK HERE TO VISIT 155's WEBSITE

If you've never eaten there, GO (and I'm not just saying that because I'm their Mom)!!

Goob has been with Chef Michael Ricard since returning to Muskoka from the GTA after his post George Brown stint at Actinolite.  

This time last year, Jukebox was honing his mad skills in kitchen at the Griffin Pub, and made the formal move to work with Goob about a month ago. I’m glad they’re together. They have always been close as siblings, so this naturally works for them. Anyway, after our beautifully presented and very rub-a-tummy-yummy meal had been consumed, the boys came out of the kitchen to hug their dad and wish him a happy birthday. Of course as a proud mama bear I had to capture the moment. 

You see, even though we all live in the same sleepy little town, there are still logistical challenges to all of us getting together.  So when we do, my camera is never far away. They raz my intentions innocently but they know capturing moments like this very special one is something I have always done. 

Look at my crew, just look at them. Am I lucky or what? Maybe luck is the wrong word. I think I'll recant and go with blessed. Yes, I definitely feel blessed, 

Afterall, I married my best friend who just happens to be an Africa HOT 29 year old!!

LUNCHTIME MARKET RESEARCH...

Initially, with rain in the forecast, I was all set to head into town last night and work from home this morning. Then, around supper time, I realized that Mother Nature was going to pull out all the stops and make it another good one. So she was a no-brainer for this cat; I was going to be getting it done from the cottage today.

LUNCHTIME MARKET RESEARCH... IN MOTION!!
TAKEN: JULY 13th, 2015

Working from here isn’t without its challenges. 

Because I have to tether to my phone to gain access to the internet (which is where I spend the bulk of my billable hours) I have to rise before dawn and make the most of my location and lulls in my Muskoka bandwidth.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it can be frustrating when you’re working with my tight deadlines. I don’t know about you but I absolutely hate being late. Matter a fact I pride myself on not being late, hence the frustration when my mobile hotspot gets bitchy.

Challenges or not, I’m always very conscious of the sheer privilege I have working from here. Not just because I love that it’s somewhat unconventional but because I know my husband’s sweating his ass off doing physical labour in the heat. He says he doesn’t mind but I think he’s just that good a person that he doesn’t mention there could possibly be the slightest stitch of envy. 

I am the busiest I have been personally since the summer of 2013. I’m not opposed to working at this level, I guess you could say that I am conditioned to it. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I wasn’t working this much. Wait a minute, that’s a lie. I’d find the time to get a much needed pedicure, I’d go to a salon to get my roots touched up (instead of doing it myself at midnight) and I’d start to golf again. 

None of those three will be happening anytime soon but they feed nicely into my goal oriented mentality. If you don't set them, you can't achieve them! I will say that as I was relaxing in the water at lunch today (completing some very important market research) my husband called to say he’d forgotten his bottled water. Out of sheer respect, two things happened. I never mentioned that I was in the lake, nor that I was secretly fantasizing about a glorious pedicure. 

Instead, immediately after our call ended, I hauled my ass back up to the cottage to make sure I had everything I need to prepare his dinner. Can’t have my lad dehydrated and starving now can I?

Glad we agree!

SUCCESSFUL WOMEN & BUSINESS

"Successful women can still have their feet on the ground... 

They just wear better shoes!"

When I went into business for myself more than a decade ago, I enthusiastically completed an obsessive amount of analysis & market research prior. I remember when I'd finally chosen my course of action, I invited a very successful friend for drinks so that I could ultimately share my direction and ask their opinion. When he finished reading my business plan, he smiled and said without hesitation, "I think you have all the pieces in place to  truly be successful with this!" 

Even now, I remember being flattered by his affirmation. Afterall, he was a successful well respected businessMAN occupying the very lane I was merging into. His words gave me the spark I needed to compliment my gumption and I never looked back.

One of the many perks of a waterfront office
TAKEN: JULY 3rd, 2015

Yesterday, I needed some business advice. Though I still keep in touch with the person I leaned on all those years ago, my telephone call yesterday was to a woman. One I have a solid respect for.

We both used to work in the same sector and her father was one of my very first trade print clients. She, like so many others are limited in the praise they receive because they are a woman and therefore must be the receptionist. To the contrary, she has a brilliant legal mind. Hence, why I called her for her help.

On the glass half full side of things, after I hung up from my one free legal advice call, the opportunity of a lifetime presented itself (part and parcel for how I spent the last 18 months I suspect). It'll be a lot of hard work and I'll have to prove my worth as well as the fact that I am up for the challenge. I'd like to say I'll lace up my designer shoes and give it my all but I don't wear socks after the May 2-4 weekend; so I'm going to slip on my $35 flip flops and get to work.

I'm kidding. You see, it's not the shoes that define success (or flip flops in my case) because in business, everything is results based. I find it funny that when I started out all those years ago, people would pat me on the head and ask "ya still do that little thing out of your basement?"

Does my picture look like I'm in my basement?

Check again!

GREENER GRASS... INSTANTLY!

♫♪♫ Sittin' on the dock on the bay.... ♫♪♫
TAKEN: JUNE 27th, 2015

After finishing my chores yesterday, I hopped in the car, grabbed a bite to eat and headed to one of my favourite places to enjoy my spoils; the wharf downtown.

As I sat in the car and watch a skillful seagull seduce me for my last bite, I couldn’t help but enjoy my front row view to the very significant changes made across the bay.

With my belly full, I started my walkabout. Even though it was unseasonably cold, it didn’t matter because there was a buzz of people everywhere. A quick scan of the busy climate found a cheery disposition accompanying all. Matter a fact, no one I chatted up made mention of a glass half empty, just the upbeat disclosure that they are happy to be out and about without having to wear the earmuffs and mitts they needed last Wednesday morning!

I have to admit that I’m not sure if it’s the presence of my camera or my easy going sense of humour that makes people want to tell me their life stories. Though you all know I am very social (and I do like to generally try to please people) the type of person I never have time for chit chat with is someone that starts every third sentence with “I’m sorry but…”. 

Not because I don’t want to accept their never-ending apology, more that I see them as somewhat of a lost soul. Generally unpleasant and extremely insecure. I find their upfront need to apologize as their way of absolving themselves of any political incorrectness that is most certainly going to instantly follow. You see, I find that behaviour to be nothing but a habit and never genuine.

Not gonna lie. As I snapped my pic yesterday, a certain person (that I just described) immediately came to mind. Though our acquaintance has ended, I’ll always wish I would have asked her one last question. It simply would have been: “What would ultimately make your grass greener?”

My guess is that she's so miserable she wouldn’t know how to respond yet offer a list of people who’s lawn had died, a list twice a long of other peoples lawns she wanted kill off in the next 60 days, and would end her rant by announcing that she'd officially placed a hit on the idiot that had recently stole her lawn mower (which had been safely parked in her garage since last fall). The latter is ultimately why she could never be happy with the grass she currently had. Just sayin'.

Because you know me so well, I have to ask. Do you know what instantly makes my grass greener? A great day like yesterday and never EVER having to hear a certain someone utter the words “I’m sorry but…” again.

See, told ya. It really is the little things in life!

MY FUZZY SOCKS THAT ROCK!

I don’t know about you but last night I was up until almost midnight because of the icky sticky humidity. I’m not complaining, probably because I woke up well rested and ready to start my day.

Anyway, after a quick early morning shower, I wandered downstairs and settled at my desk. It's hard to believe that at 6am (probably because my home office is slightly below grade & due to the humidex) my tootsies needed to be bundled up. No if, ands, or buts about it, I immediately knew it was a four alarm ‘fuzzy socks’ kinda morn.

TIM's FUZZY SOCKS ROCK!
TAKEN: JUNE 16th, 2015

My point?

When decluttering the house last weekend, I came across a gift that was presented to me by a very cherished friend at the cottage last Boxing Day. I had brought his gift home for safe keeping New Years Day but it seems my safe keeping spot was so safe, I didn’t discover them until last Saturday. You can’t imagine my excitement when I announced to my husband "...I found Tim’s fuzzy socks that ROCK!!”

I’m sure most women would have preferred a poinsettia or a nice bottle of wine to celebrate the season but not this cat, and certainly not from the fella that knows first and foremost how I love hand knit fuzzy wool socks. You see, he and I have known each other since I entered high school and all these years later have never really ever lost touch.

Actually, even though we live a couple of miles apart, we've become the very best electronic friends. The only time we chat on the phone is if something gets lost in translation via text and we need to debate the points validity. I find it refreshing and truly appreciate that we can communicate so openly about anything and everything. What can I say, he's definitely a keeper.

As June rolls into July I guess I just wanted to let him know how much I loved my gift: they're perfect. Yup, my fuzzy socks rock. Just like our very long standing friendship.

Thanks again Bud!

HAPPY 87th BIRTHDAY POPPA

As a family growing up, we never much bothered with birthdays. Matter a fact, I am embarrassed to admit that I’m not even sure when my mother’s was: whether it was the 23rd or the 24th. Even when she was alive, I always confused her birth date with the day my parents were married. That right there shows how much emphasis was never put on the silly recognition of any of it. Then, everything changed when my Dad celebrated his 60th Birthday.

Happy Birthday Dad...!
TAKEN: JUNE 9th, 1988
Photo (c) yagottalaughaboutit.com

With so much focus being put on my wedding, I decided to throw my Pops a surprise party. You see, his happy day happened to fall two days before I got married. His home was shamefully strewn with everything imaginable for a young bride's big day yet as my day drew near, I wanted him to know that he was as appreciated as he was making me feel I was. Twenty seven years ago today, I can report he was truly surprised. Not only by my gesture but by the love of the people that filled his livingroom.

Just look at that smile!

In hindsight, that night was a catapult for he and I. His 60th Birthday was a new beginning of how he and I looked at celebrating the day of his birth. With me being married the 11th and the twins eventually being born the 5th, no matter what we were up to at the time, everything stopped for that one single week a year.

One of the most memorable parties was when the twins celebrated their first birthday and he celebrated his 65th. Our small little 1,000 square foot home across the street from his was bursting at the seams with family and friends. As time passed, each and every year the celebrations got bigger and understandably more cherished. True to the occasion to the end, we spent the majority of his last B-Day together in the emergency room. Though his spirits were good I would have never imagined a little better than two week later our jokes and paper hats would be replaced with funeral arrangements.

I had an American lawyer friend comment last weekend on the affinity that I have of my Dad. He admitted that he has the same with his but that his father is still alive. As silly as it reads I feel like my Dad is still with me too. I still talk to him and we mention him all the time in our home. Though he may be out of sight, he most definitely will never be out of mind. You see, not only was he my Father, he was my friend.

Happy 87th Birthday Poppa. We all love and miss you very much.

I CAN'T BEARwear IT ANYMORE

Have you ever heard the story about the man that was absolutely and unequivocally in love with his favourite shirt? You know the one, where he gets so attached that he actually beams when he wears it? So much so,  that when his buddies ask... “Did you just get laid?” He automatically and very proudly boasts... “Nah, it’s the shirt!”

Now you're up to speed on me and my relationship with my Muskoka Bear Wear hats. Those puppies (no pun intended) have been everywhere with me. The pic I am sharing today is one I tweeted last November. It was my fave and it saved me from a sunstroke while on vacation in the Caribbean.

It's not only protected me from nasty UV rays, it's shot amazing rounds of golf, fashionably saved me from embarrassment when I didn’t have time to colour my roots, not to mention the fit WAS so gosh darn comfy!

The BEFORE & AFTER of my favourite hat.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2014 & JUNE 2015

That’s right, past tense. No point in crying over spilled milk, or in this instance a favourite hat that has been decimated.

When I first found the brim of my beloved chapeau chewed to shit, I was upset. Then, I calmed down and realized the obvious. Though a larger in stature flat coat retriever, Annie is still just a very young pup. A toddler, for lack of a better reference.

As I watched my hat get carried around the yard (seems she’s become as attached to that sucker as I was) I had to laugh. The only difference between how she & a real toddler would play with my hat is that the child would simply gum it to a slow death. I'd have thrown it into the dishwasher and been no worse for the wear.

When it comes to Annie, I'll be picking up pieces of pink until the snow flies!

Serves me right for being the 'Crazy Dog Lady'….!

HAIR’s THE DEAL!

With all the things I have in my life moving at the speed of sound, I decided last week that I finally needed to deal with my hair. As you know, my locks are the complete and total bane of my existence. For what it's worth, my hair brings to mind the 15 year old cat living on the back of Granny's sofa: it simply does what the HELL it wants!

Rant extinguished, I'll continue.

With a change in my look being front of mind, this week was the very first time I'd ever taken before and after pics when it came to getting my hair cut. It wasn’t a ‘selfie’ thing, more so as a market research type of approach to satisfy an inner curiosity. I wanted to ask people that I share all my pics with (the good, the bad, the ugly) their opinion. In essence, was my hair that bad, or should I just leave it be?!

My chosen panel, was of four. All familiar with my personality and all familiar with my Blog, they still gave me their dead nuts honest opinions. The first admitted, without any hesitation, that I looked like a hag & most definitely needed a complete and total makeover. The second questioned my sanity for even wanting to touch my locks with a pair of scissors, which was understandable based on the case they made and the big words they used. The third deemed me lucky for having options: you see, he’s bald and his core goal this time of year is to NOT get a sun burn. The fourth was obviously opinion of my husband.

Hair today... Gone tomorrow.
TAKEN: JUNE 1st & 2nd, 2015

He knew I was heading to see my hair Guru, we'd chatted about it. But, when I carefully reminded him at bedtime that he hadn’t noticed that I’d gotten my hair cut, he didn’t miss a beat. “Never noticed that I trimmed my eyebrows yesterday morning,” he said. “So I guess we’re even!”

The fact that I could immediately reply "so sad that you neglected to trim both your nose and ear hair at the same time..." had us both laughing. 

That scenario is how you truly spend more than half your life with another.

Simply keep the other laughing!

THE COMFORT OF BEING ALONE…

Well it looks like my ability to live at Orillia Lake this summer is going to be pretty much non-existent. Though I'm disappointed, I’m okay with it. You see, this time last year I was on a mission. One which was truly difficult to finish yet I’m glad I hung in there and stuck it out. What I know a year later is, that living at the cottage kept me extremely focused on what I was hell bent and fiercely determine to accomplish.

I suppose you could say that it’s the fulfillment of those accomplishments that have me hovering really close to home this summer; having said that, I have slowly realized that something is amiss. For varying reasons, I am struggling to fit in socially. I think after a solid year of being completely and totally anti-social, I’ve discovered I have turned into a bit of a loner. Could it be that my extroversion has moved inward? Like any belly button, could my outtie have done a total 180 in the last year and become an innie?

DOT chillaxin'... Alone in the rain
TAKEN: MAY 16th, 2015

I’m not kidding. My mind most easily justifies my conundrum by equating it to Dottie's behaviour with the other neighbouring dogs on the lake.

While five or six of them run the trail and shore for hours on end, Dot's usually off all by her lonely and extremely content. Now, granted, I’d usually be curled up with a book or movie, while she’s going tree trunk to tree trunk looking for squirrels, I think you get my point. We both find a solid comfort in being alone.

In 2013, 95% of my time was spent face to face with other people. In 2014, 95% of my time was spent alone with a couple of computers and a couple of dogs. Reflections aside, I'm confident that 2015 will somehow be a balance of both years previous. As you know, I've added another pup to the brood, so I'm thinking I may need to seek some outside council on my re-entry into the real world.

First and foremost I suspect it should be from someone that lives for words other than stick, boat, treat & squirrel. Oh, and I'm thinking I may also need a makeover.

Simply because those girlz have been barking some pretty radical hair tips at me lately!

GOTTA JUST RIP THE BAND-AID OFF!

It’s that time of year again, when the end of day rolls around and you discover that you haven’t eaten any lunch. Though I was lucky enough to slip away mid afternoon for a cup of coffee with a friend, after a great conversation, I once again found clarity that some things are better tackled like quickly pulling off a Band-Aid. I guess for me, once that specific decision is made, swift n' quick seems much more effective than pulling each individual hair out of your arm over a three day period. For what it’s worth, let’s just call me an efficient thinker and move on.

DOINK... WAS THE NOISE MADE WHEN I HIT MY HEAD!
TAKEN: MAY 9th, 2015

Sitting here typing away, I don’t know why I find certain things so much harder to process than others. For a gal with a good lot of common sense, I can be pretty friggin' stupid. 

Look at my pic. Can you see the ladder? Because on a day like today I simply couldn’t see it staring me in the face until I hit my head against it. Guess a good knock on the head offers most people some level of clarity: right?

Who the hell am I kidding? I knew it was there, I knew it could ultimately be there for me and helpful, yet I just couldn’t see it. I guess if I were being honest, more importantly, I'll admit I didn’t want to see it. Because at the end of the day, I have some serious trust issues.

This time last year I had a colleague in Business totally screw me over. Took my work, pawned it off as their own and then didn’t pay me what they say they would. Actually, kept my money for their own gain. The bigger part was that instead of correcting their wrong, they continually asked for my forgiveness, claiming they didn’t know any better. They'd known first hand what I'd been through, yet still chose to use me for their gain and came back to the pump for forgiveness and I expect more of my knowledge.

I guess if there is a moral to my story is to always listen to the signs. Know who the players are, and if you’re told you aren't one, believe it and get something in writing. Don’t invest your time and energy on anything that in the end is only destine to crash and burn and leave you bitter.

Speaking of burning, thank goodness for the smoke detectors.

'Cause of my rambling... Dinner was a tad crispy tonight!

FRESH COLOUR... FRESH START!

Well, as you know my daughter relocated home a few weeks ago.

Like any rush and pack move, things ultimately got left behind. Actually, when you’re moving cross country via West Jet, you have little wiggle room and choices have to be made. The upside to that was that she choose to leave things behind this time last year, yet nothing was disposed of. It felt good to have her head on a road trip with her buddy Becca and I could pull a kick ass pair of her sandals out of my closet. They’d accompanied me to the Caribbean a couple of times but other than that were simply awaiting her return.

My point isn't about the sandals, rather that I can’t begin to describe the change in her disposition since she's left her painful drama behind. Out of respect for what she’s been through, we’ve made a conscious effort not to discuss her decisions; instead, we’ve just offered quiet support. In time, if she wants to discuss her feelings she will. In my opinion, what's happened is in the past and not the direction she's going. Only she can expand on that.

Dad & I watching Kim doing her THANG!
TAKEN: MAY 11th, 2015

After spending a very quiet Mother’s Day together, I sent her a text her today to meet me downtown. Unbeknownst to her we walked to our hair salon to get her a new do. Gone are the dark sullen hues she arrived with and in arrived a soft shade of auburn. Her bright new colour matches her new found disposition perfectly.

As she re-establishes her bearings and continues to grow, there’s one thing I know for sure. It’s great to hear her laugh... not to mention getting to witness her normal sibling shit disturbing.

It isn't because it’s mischievous, rather she knows it keeps all of us laughing. Not gonna lie, there’s a twinkle in her eye when she knows she has the upper hand and I love it. Words can’t describe how much I've missed her fun side.

Momma’s piece of Staccs advice #25,475? 

Life’s too short to let the glass half empty win!

JUST WEED YOUR GARDEN ALREADY!

There are three sure signs that the Lakes are open in Muskoka...

I no longer wear socks, the trilliums in my backyard are in bloom, and I can clock when certain Business folks tug the string on the little tin can I hold up to my ear. They know who they are and they tug with confidence because they know I'll talk them in off the proverbial ledge they've ultimately talked themselves onto! 

WOOHOO... TRILLIUMS = NO SOCKS UNTIL OCTOBER!
TAKEN: MAY 8th, 2015

Keeping that last thought on the table, let's backup to my lovely trilliums.

Though I don't tend my wild flowers (because they're exactly that) I do have somewhat of a green thumb. I love digging into the soil, getting my hands mucky, & building something. Not only that, I have always found it intriguing to watch all the elements work together as a Team for an amazing result.

A little rain, a little sun, a little TLC from yours truly: all very important elements to the success of any growth cycle. Gardens, just like good people, need to be nurtured and ultimately supported. Any garden (no matter how much you love it) when ignored and left unattended, will face some extremely predictable seasonal challenges. 

Hopefully, most reading will correlate the weeds in any garden to the total idiots that gather around a water cooler and decimate solid coworker moral. They are what I consider to be the heartiest weed; borderline poisonous but no matter how much danger they pose, still permitted to freely inhabit the garden. So much so, that one would almost think that the gardener has an innate fear to pull them out and remove them by their roots. 

Just remember, doing the same thing and expecting different results is futile and a waste of good energy. Those weeds will always be a nuscience and your garden will forever suffer until they are dealt with. Glass half full? A freshly weeded garden may appear a tad sparse at first.... Yet it ultimately thrives in the end.

Just offering my two cents and a caveat that I will give change if need be!

Z IS FOR ZERO-ZIP-ZILCH

NOTE TO SELF: Email GARY! 

Well, I made it!

I survived my 3rd AtoZ April Blogging Challenge and my hyphenated words reflect the stored ounces of energy I have left to create even one more post. To say it's been a very long and emotional month, would be an understatement.

As expected (& as I do every year) I've gained readers, while others fell by the wayside. I was sad to see my buddy Gary go during the writing process this month. He quit reading at PEEPS; which was fitting I suppose.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn't thank each and every one of you for reading my silly thoughts until the end. With this, my 506th post under my belt, this years challenge has once again proved to be a very personal journey... Of both reflection, as well as of self-discovery.

Cheers ~ Rhondi

Y IS FOR YOWZA

Hanging on for dear life (yet embracing the Samana moment).... YOWZA!
Taken: APRIL 9th, 2015

There are a handful of people in my life that can make me laugh so hard; that when I'm done, my face truly hurts.

Because they're so important to me, I wanted to choose a Y word that I thought was at least a tad bit deserving.

So I chose a sexy, urban dictionary word, that easily defined some of the emotion they tend to evoke in me... YOWZA!

All I'll say is that after receiving a hilarious message from an electronic friend yesterday, I damn near needed to change my pants because I'd laughed so hard I nearly piddled.  When I asked why they shared their specific joke with me, their answer was sincere.

"Because... LIFE is short!"

Yes-Sir-Ree-Bob-A-Roonie was my quick 'n very simple reply.

X IS FOR X-IT!

SEE YA LATER WINTER OF 2015
IT's ABOUT FRIGGIN' TIME!!
TAKEN: APRIL 28th. 2015

W IS FOR WHATEVER

My only regret is carrying crappy "taker" baggage for far too long!

Three years ago last November, I was the girl with the balloons. 

My nest had emptied and I was embarking on a personal journey that I knew would change me to my very core. 

Suffice is to say that I made some much needed and very big life moves. Then, to compliment my new outlook, I started this silly little Blog. As stupid as this reads, yesterday proved to me that the woman of more than three years ago, has officially morphed into a space where she knew she needed to be.

How so? As I looked down at my phone yesterday, I rolled my eyes, injected applicable sound effect, and said only one word. Pffft....WHATEVER!

You see, for the last leg of my journey, I decided that 2015 was going to be dedicated to the "Death of The Taker!” You know the type, they'll only call you when they're in a jam, need something and/or are looking for an ego boost. The even bigger trait of a taker is that they are conspicuously absent whenever you’re in need of them. 

Why is it that people think they can re-enter your life without penalty for treating you poorly? Could it be that they have no clue that they truly have? 

WHATEVER… Nuf said!

V IS FOR VIBRANT

My 2015 A to Z Blogging Challenge has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. The good news is that have I met and connected with the most Bloggers in the three years I have participated. Not only that, previous electronic friends have reconnected with me thanks to some of the topics I have blogged about. Which tells me my struggle for words was worth it?!

Anyway, in an effort to let readers get to know me a little better, I decided to pick a V word that best describes me. Though a few quickly came to mind, it was a conversation at lunch yesterday that made me choose the one I did. The comment was about how comfortable I am leading people. We talked about my level of personal confidence, which led me to my word of the day... I truly do greet each new day!

May your day be as VIBRANT as my disposition.
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 2012

Just look at my pup. I’m sure it’s the tone of my voice  & my words that had her in such a euphoric state. 

Then again, it could be that the person taking my picture was telling me to turn the volume down on my snow pants and Dottie is just helping them with their plight.

Either way, I vividly remember this day, which was one for the record books. 

Not only were my pants as loud as our laughter but my positive energy was taken to the next level by a solid dose of Vitamin D. 

Not to mention that I was spending the day with the ones that I love.

U IS FOR UNCONDITIONAL

After my lunch meeting today... I once again feel I truly am.

Peeps... Here’s the skinny...!

Though I am busier than a one armed paper hanger, when a very important last minute lunch invite came my way, I simply couldn't refuse.

As a result, I am pleased to report that I let my guard down MORE today than I have in well over a year. Simply put, my dining partner made me laugh, and laugh, and laugh... So much so, that when I got home, I honestly felt like my lackluster smile of self doubt had officially been rejuvenated. I kid you not, THAT is the true brilliance of unconditionality in a friendship.

He knew exactly what I needed, which in turn erased any of my self-doubt. It got rid of all of those questionable shitty cob webs, that'll in turn help me topple any future naysayers. I had a blast. I am extremely grateful for his friendship and he's the perfect ally in any storm.

Our friendship?

Most certainly... UNCONDITIONAL.

T IS FOR TIMING

As my daughter returned home to us today, I thought the quote below fitting when trying to understand the timing in ones life. I know for a fact that these very wise words will resonate with so many in my life: both past and present, near and far. May my timing find each and every one of you healthy & happy. ~ Your friend, Rhondi

“Sometimes the best and worst times of your life can coincide. It is a talent of the soul to discover the joy in pain - thinking of moments you long for, and knowing you’ll never have them again. The beautiful ghosts of our past haunt us, and yet we still can’t decide if the pain they caused us outweighs the tender moments when they touched our soul. This is the irony of love.”           

                                                                                                                         ~ Shannon L. Alder

My Sweetie and me... Never to focus on the past. It's not the direction we're going.
TAKEN: MARCH 11th, 2012

S IS FOR SELFIE

Thanks for the post idea Becca!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 2007

Well, here it is. My very first selfie. How goofy is it that I vividly remember the night I took this bad boy?

Crux of the story is, Facebook was the new and in thing, and I wanted to change my profile pic for the upcoming season. Admiring the festive lights in the livingroom,  I hatched a plan. 

Seeing that the days of holding up ones phone was years from hitting the mainstream, my pic was staged using a 35mm digital camera and a mirror. Even today, I still find the look of it intriguing.

Everyone knows that each and every aspect of social media and online optimization is a part of what I do. I guess you could say that I’m one of the lucky ones that get to do “IT” for both business & pleasure. As I reflect, I have to admit that it's been an extremely interesting journey, that started with a Myspace account so many moons ago. From there, I just followed the technology, invested my time, and got lucky. Most probably wonder why I stay with Blogger and haven't headed over to Wordpress, the answer is a no-brainer.

I don't write for a living, I simply enjoy to write: I'm comfortable here.

This Blog wasn't created to generate revenue, just some interesting thoughts and a personal peace of mind. As I officially wind it down, it feels good to know that I have accomplished exactly that.

Silly ...geeky... selfies...  et all!