My Feet Are Downright Desperate!

Enjoying coffee together this morning, my husband asked me my plans for the day. Even though he knew I had to work, he also knows I try really hard to spend at least four hours outside every Sunday. Today, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move that idea forward in my mind. 

I honestly don’t hate winter. Truth is, I work really hard every year to survive winter. From Hallowe’en to Easter, I have to force myself to get off my fat ass and venture the hell outside.

Historically, the seasonal weather has me trek in footwear stages; flip flops to sneakers, to rubber boots, to snowmobile boots, to snowshoes, to rubber boots, to sneakers, to flip flops. It’s not rocket science but it helps me process when I'll eventually get the sunlight, as well as my life back. 

Aren't the perfect?
(Fine print reads... Meant for sand not snow!)
Taken: February 2014

In hindsight, I suppose the blind side happened when I went from rubber boots (in the fall of 2013) to snowshoes, which is where I’ve been stuck ever since. 

Pushing my buttons and tired of my bitching, my husband sarcastically announced 'no matter what the weather'... In two weeks, he was going to start wearing shorts to work.

Totally unimpressed by his lack of empathy for my plight, I immediately went upstairs on a mission. I removed my fuzzy socks and began wearing my brand new (very sexy) flip flops around the house.

Let's face it. You can look at my behaviour in a couple of different ways: A) Desperate times call for desperate measures. B) There's more than one way to skin a cat. C) Leave me alone I'm totally pouting and pissed with winter... or D) All of the above.

She's all of the above Baby... ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

It Just Ain’t Adding Up

Today’s the first day of Spring and I walked to work in a raging blizzard. I really didn't mind. I was bundled up and the music flowing through my headphones was perfect. As I stared out my office window all day, I couldn't help but pray for it to be over. Not the snow per say but the excessive bills that follow this crap and seem to be never ending.

Nothing like a great BIG screw
to get you through the winter!

Like every single family in Ontario, hydro has been that expense that has always been deemed the evil wicked step monster running the mafia for years.

Why so bitter? My last bill was 25% higher than any other bill I have ever received in this home (which was purchased in 2002).

I've never contested a hydro bill ever before. I've just let the hydro company screw me without even buying me a drink first. I’m not sure if I have any rights but I suspect I don’t.

My son updated his status today about how he envisioned someone giving his eulogy. "He always paid his bills on time... You gave this guy a bill he paid it! He was a bill-paying Son of a B!”

As I paid some bills online tonight, it was he I truly felt bad for. Young and hardworking, he was screwed far worse than I by Hydro this last month. By my calculation, Lakeland doesn't need to buy him a drink: they need to buy him some solid shares in Seagram's!!

...And THAT's I gotta say about that!!!

Life Is A Two Way Street

Last weekend, we enjoyed a very in depth dinner conversation about my leaving my job last December and where I'm at since the time has passed; leaving wasn't a decision I made lightly, yet I have been so busy in my new role, that I haven’t spent a lot of time examining the move emotionally.

What can I say? You can look all over the internet and find sayings that are designed to motivate inner reflection. The big one for me was someone specific posting something to the effect that 'it’s good to know who my friends really are' (I’m paraphrasing). 

Truth of the matter is that much to that person's chagrin, 99.999% of the time, there is a friend on the other end of that proverbial saying that ultimately feels exactly the same way. It’s called a two way street.

Never, for a minute, have I ever expected this next chapter of my life to be easy. HELL, I think that’s what is literally paving my way. Just like any commodity, I think about Las Vegas.

The plane landing in Vegas is full of people that are self-perceived Winners. The plane full of people flying home, are full of excuses why they gambled their money away. It's all just simple justification of personal behaviour rather than understanding its true design. A hard business reality.

Anyway, screw Vegas, I’m heading to Scottsdale!

No, seriously, I am. Third week in September. To network and grow business.

Not with friends, with some very successful like-minded people.

People, that have no desire to ever be flying out of  Las Vegas with a plane full of excuses either!

CRAP-A-DOODLE-DOO

Let The Melting Begin
Taken: March 14th, 2013

What a week. Reporting that it was genuinely in the toilet only scratches the surface. I felt like crap, there was bullshit everywhere I turned, and the driveway officially looks like a giant skid mark!

You may laugh but not only is the driveway comment the high point in that last paragraph, I have no qualms about how it appears. Truth is, it’s the only thing this week that helped remind me Spring is just around the corner. 

I didn't break for lunch until 2pm today, yet when I did, I forced myself to go outside with the pups. The sun was amazing and I could literally hear the snow melting. That in itself makes any and all other points moot.

Days like today always make me see and appreciate things more clearly. You know, with the road down to the bare pavement and the snow melting on the roof. Not to mention, that by using the back of the axe I could chip away some emotion as well as some ice to finally expose sections of the front deck I haven't seen since since last November.

What can I say? I am hard-wired to always look forward and never back. Guess that's why this time of year we are all meant to get the hell outside and  Spring Forward!

Believe ME... Today, I did exactly that.

Apparently Size Matters!

On our second last vacation day, I heard myself uttering the four words I never imagined I ever would... “it’s just too big” I sadly admitted. Hey now, I was taking about the size of the resort we were just at in Jamaica: what the hell were YOU thinking? 

I have always been the first one to put up my hand and say that "sometimes more isn't necessarily better... it's just more." Yet, flip the coin and I always say (with any great adventure) "you only get out of it what you put into it!"

No matter which you believe, by the end of the week, after we'd overlooked any challenges we had encountered, we admitted that we'd ultimately had a really great time. 

Would I return to Jamaica a third time? Definitely. Would I return to the biggie I experienced on Runaway Bay? Probably not. 

I guess the truth of the matter is that even though I enjoyed something bigger than I could have ever imagined just this once, I truly missed the intimate experience I'd had a couple of years ago in Negril. Funny how life can surprise you when you least expect it...

You DO realize I am still talking about real estate right?

AY CARUMBA IT WAS BIG!
It took three pics with my cell phone to get a full frontal shot...HAHAHA
Taken: March 2nd, 2014

My Very Strategic Tan Lines!

The afternoon that I left on my vacation, I threw my Boss a hug and said “if the plane’s gonna crash, let’s hope it’s on the way home. What? Gotta get every pennies worth!”

We all laughed but believe it or not, uttering those very words stayed in the back of my mind until we climbed into bed safe and sound last night. In hindsight, I can't help but wonder why I would have given the moment a second thought.

I guess at the end of the day every adventure presents risk. The crux of it is that though I truly have a vivid imagination,  I've never ventured very far from my comfort zone. I suppose there are a handful of times I've truly wanted to - but in the end of it all I have discovered that I was meant to be - ME.

Speaking of 'being me', what a week away. As I stepped on the scale this morning I once again discovered that my roller coaster journey with food the last couple of years had resonated diddle-y squat. Yup, I'm weak. When presented with great food, I have no idea what 'portion control' really is. Staring at the digits in the scale I smiled.

The weather was great & the food even better!!
Taken: March 1, 2014

What can I say? I'm happy.

Not because I had a great week away... I'm happy because I personally choose to be exactly that.

Happy. Happy. Happy.

Hell, I wore a two piece bathing suit and I wasn't on my dock!

Truth? Being happy isn't the only thing that really made me smile. The fact that I have a really dark tan line where my boobs meet my belly is not only a hard reality, I think it's downright sexy.

When I stepped out of the shower this morn and looked at myself in the full length mirror I grinned from ear to ear, then started to laugh.

I know I need to lose the fret. I know first hand that life's too short to worry. So think about it... If that stinkin' plane would have crashed, that would be it. You would have never known about that crazy, cheeky, sexy Jamaican sun, that produced my very strategic tan lines... that I am totally bragging about.

PEEPS... Life's too short to let that glass half empty win!

Jamaica? No Problem!

Well, today marks the official halfway point of my winter vacation. I overdid it in the sun a little yesterday but nothing that a floppy hat and extra strength sunscreen can’t remedy today. That, and a constant slow drip of Jamaican rum!

I did return to the room early yesterday with the intention to post, yet, when I hammered out my thoughts, I ended up posting them to my draft folder;  which is where they will stay, with the almost hundred other posts too personal to share.

Proof that we arrived safe & sound
Taken: February 26th, 2014

On a more entertaining note, the American friends we've traveled with have already started to tease me about my three cameras and my picture taking fetish.

Last trip, Brian waited until the second last day to give me his two gun salute. I am pleased to report that yesterday morning I was given the official nod as both his middle fingers made his thoughts perfectly clear.

Ah…The comfort of a great friendship. It's all in the sarcasm and laughter and there has been plenty of both.

Always one for adventure, I am leaving my buddy Omar at the swim up bar for a day of lounging in salt and sun. I am embarrassed to admit that I paid ten dollars for a dollar store floatie. I am pleased to report that they originally wanted eighteen dollars so I’ll justify my spending as an exercise in great negotiation rather than the sheer stupidity it was.

As I sit here listening to the morning birds and sip a cup of coffee I feel at peace. I was afraid to return to the island but my worry has turned out to be for nothing. I’m staying at a much larger resort this time around but there is one very common thread; the sun, sounds, food and fun. Two years ago, as a couple, we l literally struggled with every single one of those elements.

This year? I say “Welcome to Jamaica mon… “

No problem!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE

Puddie... Just slap happy & headin' home
Taken: February 16th, 2014

When I was out with the pups snowshoeing this past Sunday, I snapped this pic of my Puddin' enjoying the trials that I'd created over the crux of this brutal winter. 

Walking home from work tonight, I swear this is how I felt about how my week shook out. I was simply downright ecstatic!

The hard part about working independently is that you have to stay your course. Watching the clock and managing your time becomes critical. It’s always tough when you’re flying solo, because expectation of immediate results becomes conditioned, and your list of things expected to be accomplished grows accordingly.

It’s been years since I have been out of my comfort zone; using a plethora of those certain skills and tools I'd tucked away for a rainy day. Well guess what? I went to work this morning in the pouring rain and cashed in!

Today was the first day since I joined my new Team, that I felt (via my efforts) they understood our very tangible progress. I know they don't have a lot of interest in what I am doing; just the faith that it will be done properly and within the timeline promised. This Happy Friday produced milestones... and we’re not talking little wee baby steps. 

Rule #1: Lose all excuses and you’ll find nothing but results.

Trust me. Making it look easy is much harder than simply complaining about the ton of hard work that must be endured. Hence why I'm smiling. I haven't complained once.

Happy Friday Everyone!

The Inevitable Happened...

Whenever I'm stressed I flee in search of something I refer to as ‘snackage’. Wine gums are my favourite but I've never met a Toblerone bar I didn't like. With website deadlines looming around me, I got up from my desk and went on a mission.

Flash forward fifteen minutes. With the store counter loaded up with more than twenty eight dollars in junk food the inevitable happened. I ended up face to face with a previous customer: a great guy and an amazing builder. I knew from the instant our eyes met he was going to want to discuss my career change, which frankly is something I have readily avoided since the day I left my previous employ.

"Once you feel you know everything...
You're incapable of change." ~ ME

I must admit, though my employment lane has changed, I was truly saddened as my friend continued to express his frustrations. When he finally verbalized that he was no longer going to do business with my former company, I was both saddened and disheartened. 

I told him that I was sorry and that I think of my old boss every single day."You were a great team" was his response.

The Bossman (as I so lovingly called him) may have signed my pay cheque but my encounter with his customer proved that he was never really my boss. My boss was the amazing builder standing in front of me.

Truth of the matter is... "There is only one boss. The customer. And they can fire anyone in the company from the Chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.” ~ Sam Walton. 

And THAT BOSS told me he’d 'Donald Trumped' the Team I was once so very proud of leading. 

Not gonna lie, after I left him I cried. Not because I felt responsible for him leaving, nor because I could hear my old Bossman's voice hailing it all unacceptable. It was much bigger than that. My tears flowed because...

The sheer thought of what he was describing to me was just really very sad.

A Family Day of Reflection

I am not proud to admit that I have zero contact with my three older siblings.

Different life choices are probably what created the gigantic chasm but my Dad passing was most definitely what sealed our long term fate. It’s not like the distance happened immediately, I guess we all made a series of individual/personal decisions over time.

As parents, we make choices every single day on the philosophies we decide to instil in our children; those choices will ultimately last a lifetime. I know in our home, we chose to constantly reinforce that no matter how much they bickered, one day they would cherish the bond they had as siblings. My husband and I continually reminded that they would always have each other and therefore their respect for one and other should always be carefully nurtured.

The Power of 3 - Summer Lovin' Poppa's Camp!
Taken: July 1995

From the very beginning we've always cautioned them that we could never force them to be friends.

Only they could make the specific choices to unconditionally love and support one and other as they matured.

Look at my picture (snapped almost 20 years ago on their Poppa's dock).

That amazing bond, though tested at times, has had them communicating more with one and other more than with my husband and I by a mile. To be honest, after the journey I have taken with my siblings I'm a little envious. It makes me somewhat reflective actually.

I sometimes wonder if the demise of my relationships with my own siblings is why I've evolved into the crazy dog lady. In some way, shape, or form, maybe I was meant to be surrounded by a gigantic pack of love without a stitch of drama, rivalry, or ulterior motivation.

What can I say?... I'll start with the fact that I am so proud of my three children for getting it right. We may have led by planting the example seed; but in the end, they made it look easy, which is definitely the silver lining never to be taken for granted.

Happy Family Day. Here's to you and yours... and a million more.

Cheers...

My Momma’s My Only Valentine

I know you’re probably expecting me to scribe some mushy ode pledging my undying love for my husband tonight, so I apologize in advance, because that’s just not going to happen. 

Today is the anniversary of my Momma passing. So, for every year since (today marks the 27th anniversary) I've always dedicated my day to her. Different years bring different emotions.Watching the Olympic Figure Skating unfold, I am truly missing her and I wish she were here, even though I don't have a picture of us to share.

Mom snapping my pic in my solo costume
for the annual figure skating carnival.
(Just like me... she was always behind the camera)
Taken: April 1981

My goodness she was a passionate woman. She kept an amazing home, argued for the sheer debate, and loved her Monday night Bridge Club. For the last ten years of her life, she unconditionally supported me at the rink and loved it.

As I excelled, so did she: as a certified Judge. She always said it was to help offset the cost but I always felt it was because I was perpetuating a passion we both shared.

As you know, in time memories can wane. When it comes to my Mom n' me & the rink the memories remain vivid. 

From her bringing me a hot meal every Tuesday & Wednesday night for six years, to my parents picking me up every single Friday night each and every summer I lived away from home....

She was as committed as I.

Today is the one day I think of myself and where I am in life right now and where my mother was in her life cycle at the very same age. Those points are drastically different. 

One thing is for sure. There isn't a song that blasts through my earbuds, that in the first five bars, I can't see myself in a pair of skates. Yes MOM... I always have a dance partner; my knees are bent, my shoulders back, I always have my head up and I'm smiling with confidence.

She was my biggest fan and she definitely pushed me. Let me tell YA... There are far bigger parenting choices that can doom a child and their future now a days. Just sayin'

Happy Valentine's Day Mom. I love you very much.

Happy Birthday Jamie

Today my oldest boy is celebrating his birthday. Out of respect for his personal privacy I won’t divulge his age except to share that it's somewhere between being old enough to drink alcohol legally anywhere in the world and too young to collect an old age pension. How I was so young when he was born, is truly one for the record books!

I know every mother says they love all their children equally and I do believe it to be true. That said there is always something very special about the journey you take with your first born. So much more attention to every little detail because all you had was a textbook to see you through. There was no internet then, so Googling “how to soothe a diaper rash” wasn't an option.

That's my son and I on the bottom left.
Photo Cred: Staccs

When I think back to the moment he was born it was the happiest moment in my life. 

Matter a fact, his birth bumped my wedding day to the number two spot.

I remember how happy my husband was he had a son and just how perfect he truly was.

He slept through the night after three weeks and the only person that held him in their arms more than my husband and myself, was my father. He lived across the street and until the day he died Jamie held a very dear spot in his heart.

As he celebrates this momentous day enjoying a romantic evening with his girlfriend, I am faced with the hard reality check that all of those parenting books never shared. They never tell you when your job is done. Hell, there is no warning; your kids eventually do the deed but no matter who you are nothing ever prepares you for it.

Happy Birthday Jukebox…. We love you very much and I hope you had a really great day.

This Seat Is Officially Taken!

In high school I was teased incessantly.

It was never like a scene from Mean Girls where I’d walk around the cafeteria with my tray and the kids would slide there arses together chanting this spot is taken, because I always got along with everyone. BUT, through high school, I was loving known as Rhondi  St. Bernard. A reference to my being a dog. What can I say: tit’s always did the talking and I didn't have any!!

I’m not sharing that last tidbit for any other reason other than to emphasise that teens can be cruel. Even more to the point this evening, so can adults. An adult backed into a corner with fear makes high school antics look silly. A full grown ego threatened can be a ruthless thing.

My Momma made me this sweater  & took this very pic!
(For sentimental reasons I still have both.)
Taken: November 1983

Small town minds breed small town thinking. Empowered over time they're really quite damaging. Truth of the matter is that in day to day business there isn't an ‘in crowd’. 

Great success breeds opportunity. It's truly that black and white. 

You're either successful or you’re not: the numbers speak for themselves.

You can't ever stop change, only manage it. A full blown tail spin and daily fear mongering isn't what I would personally consider good management.

On that note, I know you're on the outside looking in but as you circle with your tray I have to say 'this seat is taken'. It's not because it's my intention to be mean or exclusive. Rather, everyday (just like my entire Team) I eat my lunch at my desk. You know the seat. Where you keep your head down, your mouth shut and you focus on results.

It's OK. Feel free to pat me on the head and wish me luck. It's a small town. After all, everyone under a rock knows that for the last decade all I've ever done is smile and answer the phone. So, I can completely understand, why you would speak about me that way.

YUP... Big Girl Panties were in fact worn for the production of this post!!

SWISH was the sound... Nothing but NET... Was what she chirped.

Our Buried Bandstand To The Rescue!

It’s not very often that we end up in the heart of Downtown on a Saturday but for whatever reason yesterday we did. I always feed an expired parking meter so there was no change there but finding that little sucker was like seeking out what’s his name in a Where’s Waldo cartoon.

As we began to walk, right on queue my husband began bitching about the height of the snowbanks. Normally I would have rebutted with some sort of quick witted retort, yet all I could say yesterday was “I honestly don’t think they can keep up”. Then all hell froze over as he quickly conceded “you’re probably right”.

Thank you high snowbanks. Crisis averted!
Taken: February 1st, 2014

Once home we began discussing our amazing day on the Town. Running into a former colleague had me telling my husband about the how my feelings had been hurt unexpectedly last week by someone I use to do business with. Once clarified that we were once again talking about the person he suspected he began to rant; "no matter what you say, this person was never EVER your friend!"

Listening to him like a broken record, I choose to play the exact card he had offered me that very afternoon in front of our Bandstand.

“You’re probably right” was all I said.

Soooo...A great big thank you goes out to our Town. Had those snow banks not been so high this afternoon, I would not have taken my husbands lead to fold like a lawn chair in the kitchen preparing dinner. Without those high snowbanks outside our Bandstand? I am pretty sure my husband would have slept on the couch last night.

Ya Gotta Laugh About It...!

Snowshoe A Mile In My Shoes? ANYDAY!

Puddin' letting me know she won the race...
Holy Record Snowfall Batman!
Taken: January 26th, 2014

I walked into the cottage with my dogs last weekend to grab one of our two extra coffee makers stored there. It was crazy cold but I ventured on my specific mission just the same.

My husband wanted to buy another coffee maker (because he smashed his relocating it to his new office space) but I was damned if I was going to use the plethora of Canadian Tire money we've been hoarding on something we already own three of. Is it their fault that they're geographically located? So, I loaded up the pups and off we went.

I wish I knew why I enjoy spending more and more of my free time alone. I use to think it was because of the level I functioned between eight and five but this last month and a half has proven my simplistic theory wrong. I guess I'm just getting old and winding down.

Sometimes I wonder if my last statement is front of mind because I've lost my edge. I guess if I truly had, I would have continued taking a large pay check while progressing to checkout even more regularly and letting the chips fall where they may.

Instead, I have taken on one of the biggest challenge of my career. When it comes to working in business I have shown up and ‘invented’; hell, Lord knows I've ‘fixed and tweaked’ my fair share. This is the very first time I've contributed to ‘reinventing’ something that not a single person in the market deems at risk. This is the most forward thinking venture I think I have ever whole heartedly committed to.

WOW... that's why I am finding such great comfort being alone. I've gone back to my roots of who truly knows and understands me. I've always found it funny who's there to unconditionally support when I'm no longer feeding their agenda. It's a bit of a sport really.

I'm not being cynical, I am just being honest. Face it, it's human nature, everyone always has an agenda.

Even you...

We ARE Building A Mystery…

I was walking home from the office this afternoon and Sarah McLachlin started blaring through my headphones. My initial reaction was that I hadn’t heard the specific song in forever. My second instinct was how appropriate the lyric as she sang ♪♫♪ yeah you're working…building a mystery… and choosing sooo carefully...♫♪♫

GREAT album all around BTW!

Today was the first day in ten that I'd ventured into my new work home. My desk was waiting for me as I had left it and I was greeted as though I’d just stepped out for a cup of coffee fifteen minutes earlier. 

Who knew that what started as a chance meeting in the summer of 2012 would evolved into an amazing business venture.

I guess this is where I finally go on the record admitting that having a distinct vision isn't easy; let's face it, executing any vision, is 1000x`s harder than simply having one.

Not gonna lie. This has been a journey and it's because we`re building a mystery.

With a KICK ASS TEAM!!

...I'll keep ya posted!

There’s No Place Like Home...

What a day. I am pleased to report that I was sitting at my desk before 7 am this morning and I headed upstairs to start dinner just before 6 pm. Even using the hard-wired Rhondi zone as a guage, today was one for the record books. That said, it was nothing more than a big fat plethora of fat hairy goo.

Anxious and stressed because I'm out of my comfort zone, I found myself doing things I use to hire others to do, which resulted in an above average level of frustration. I'm tired, my neck hurts, my eyes are strained and I am pretty much mentally exhausted.

Sitting here now? It doesn't matter: I am absolutely and unequivocally happier than a pig in shit! Why? Because I feel a true sense that I am paving a solid path to something amazing. I am part of an evolution and I am contributing into something bigger and better than any other project I've worked on to date.

I know people are going to roll their eyes. Truthfully, I think that’s what excites me most. That underestimation will keep the naysayers busy and success will be ours for the taking. Vision and Leadership are the true Siamese twins of any great venture. Tie those two together for the journey and you've got it made. If you have those two, the third (being success) follows right there alongside you.

All day long I read how people hate their jobs. They look for outlets to cope but at the end of the day they are tied to their jobs because it pays the bills. I'm a lucky gal. I am lucky that I love what I do and that a decade later I still have my Quirky Sidekick fuelling that inner drive we promised each other we'd never lose. Too bad he'll never move back home. He and his wife and two children would love it here.

I'll always envy Dorothy...
At least she had time to shave her legs.
WHAT?

Like Dorthy said "...There's no place like home."

I can totally relate to Dorothy.

Not in the fact that we can both rock a great pair of out of fashion shoes but in the fact that she always knew what she wanted, she always surrounded herself with all the right people, and she never gave up.

On that note, I have to bolt. I have a bubble bath calling my name and a much needed neck massage that I'm terribly late for.

Say nite Toto... "RRRUFF!"

Good Dog!

Our Precious Daughters...

I love you Sweetie. You truly are a precious gift.
Taken: December 2010

I chose to share this picture of my daughter today for a very specific reason. 

Not only do I remember being in the exact moment that my shutter closed, I remember how very proud I was of her that day.  

Look at her beautiful face. 

Taken more than three years ago, as she approached my husband and our dogs, you could tell she was truly comfortable in her own skin. She was glowing: with confidence.

My point today is that I vividly remember our precious daughter and her entire 18th year. 

Extremely shy by nature, she had taken a placement through school and was participating with them in the annual Santa Claus Parade. She’d had a tough 17th year. After a terrible bullying incident that lasted months, she begged us to change schools. We finally agreed. She transferred in June and by September she had started her life anew. 

Her 18th summer brought her first serious boyfriend into our home and she truly discovered that hard work equated to monetary reward. A quiet leader in so many ways, she raised her hand to spearhead the homefront; and to this day, she's never once wavered with her message to the rest of us about the importance of family and our staying together. She truly is amazing and I love her very much.

Why so reflective? My heart is heavy and my eyes are damp today. At 2 am this morning I awoke from a deep sleep and I wandered into my office to see if my fear had come to fruition and it had. After a short battle with an unexpected illness, my friend Dodi’s daughter died last night. She was in her 18th year.

Staci and Brianna had never met. Their paths had never crossed; nor did they even know that their mothers knew one and other. As I sit here in shock, I can’t help but stare at this picture of my beautiful daughter at 18 years of age.  I can't begin to fathom just how shattered my heart (and my world) would be if she'd passed in the night. 

Rest in Peace young Brianna…. You were a very brave girl but your pain is finally over. 

This -40C Frenzy Is Not My Friend

I swear, last night I had the best night's sleep I've had since Christmas break. I finally awoke grateful that my early morning hot flash let me sleep in until 6 am. I may have been drenched from head to toe but I was rested. Rested, energized and ready to kick ass, until the unexpected happened.

Overheated like a dud radiator that just blew on a 1971 Ford, when I opened the front door for the pups to do their business, it felt like a thin layer of ice instantly covered my entire perimenopausal body. A severe bout of profanity immediately filled the entranceway thanks to yours truly.

After my teeth finished chattering, I got the pups back into the house and a cookie into their gullet. I quickly grabbed my phone off the charger, changed my jammies, then climbed back into bed. Wide awake I fast tracked a really shitty movie until I rose and put on my indoor snowmobile gear. Bummed by the cold, just before 8 am, I officially greeted my day.

Morning (no ice) room service coffee in Jamaica.
HEAVEN!
Taken: February 2012

Damn you -40C!

This morning was the fourth morning this week that my hot coffee instantly turned cold when it hit my mug.

As I rubbed my hands together in the kitchen this morn waiting for my coffee to percolate, I couldn't help but daydream about my upcoming trip to Jamaica. The warmth of the sun and the room service coffee too hot to drink.

By the time I sat at my desk, I was racking my brain trying to remember the last time I was this stir crazy from a case of deep freeze cabin fever. All of a sudden my phone buzzed and it was my boss. He immediately admitted the same frustration. Even worse, when he arrived at the office first thing this morning the heat wasn't working.

We're a pretty fiercely results driven team. But, as the super human workaholic he knows he is, I did see a glimpse of him being quasi-normal this morning. It was when I received a simple three work text message after we ended our call.

I'm thinking Mexico... was all he wrote.

Will It Really Only Hurt For A Minute?

I wish I truly understood why some people bring out the worst in me. If I had to venture a guess I'd say it's some kind of a boy that cried wolf syndrome. You know, unconditional trust followed by ongoing disappointment that just numbs me to hollow words. Eventually, I can no longer trust them.

I wish it were more complicated than that but I fear it's not. If there's one thing you take from this? I can't emphasise enough that you should never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.

In the last few weeks (while feeling lost in this shit storm) I had two old friends/colleagues feed what I would consider to be our expired friendship parking metre. The first one I have delightfully accepted back into my friend-zone but the other one did not pass go and did not collect his $200. THAT right there was a Monopoly reference, not how much I pay people to talk to me!

Chuckles aside, not even last night when they disclosed "I miss you" did I waver.

True to myself, all day today I made a list of the pros and cons of how easy it would be to slip back into comfortable dialogue. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what my list said. Over the past few years I have lost count of the number of times they have admittedly 'unconsciously' hurt me.

I could say "it's in the past and that's not the direction I'm going"  but I know if I were to let them come back into my life, I would basically give them an open invitation to once again pummel me into submission. My 50 Shades of Grey books say that kind of activity could be an adventure sexually; but lets face it, this is 100% emotional. Emotionally, the wounds in place are deep and the build up of scar tissue thick.

I snapped this photo in my hotel  the morning I flew to Montreal.
The rest is history....
Taken: November 7th, 2013

With one more ma'am hurdle crossed, this 'fat lady' (though I prefer big boned) is officially tuning up to sing.

It may read like she's going to sing a sad song (and on the lower end of her register) but trust me she's gonna be GREAT.

I promise, knowing that it's only going to hurt for only a minute?

You ain't seen nothing yet!!!

Clickety-Clack It's Yakety Zack

I was telling a friend last summer that whenever I know I am about to experience something memorable I snap a photo. Last Tuesday night at 9:30pm I held up my phone because it felt exactly that. It wasn't a memorable moment because I was standing in Dundas Square at night, it was memorable because of whom I was standing in the moment with.

As an aside... I LOVE this Show on W!
Taken: January 14th, 2014

Other than a string of really great emails, I hadn't gotten together with my buddy Zack since the 2013 Fall Cottage Life Show. 

Because he works in Toronto, he tends to only venture into Muskoka in the summer. So, like the ebb and flow of any great friendship, whenever I head into the city, he willingly clears his calendar.

He’ll kill me for writing this but he’s a pretty important person; as a result, I wasn't even remotely surprised when he was running well over an hour late.

When I opened the door and he wrapped his arms around me, it felt like I was putting on my very favourite pair of fuzzy slippers. Crazy comfortable!

What can I say other than we did what we do best. We talked and talked and walked and talked and finally settled on a place to enjoy dinner. He had a million questions for me and I for him. It was like there was no one other than the two of us on the face of the earth.

As you all know, I've had a rough few months. Some say they know what’s best for me (of course they do, because they know everything) and some have just unexpectedly walked away: Zack has done neither.

To take it to the next level, Wednesday morning found me panicked because I was completely stress about meeting certain people for the very first time. Knowing I was a basket case, my phone sounded and it was Zack.

"Take a deep breath and smile” he said “Oh… and don’t you ever forget that you're amazing and that this moment is yours to own.”

As a woman in business, you have no idea how great it feels knowing I have my very own secret weapon.

That is sexy....And HE knows it!

Timing IS Everything!

I truly believe that timing is everything but I have always wondered if the reason I lean toward being so painfully cynical is because I've always tallied and tracked all of my major decisions. Those that have worked for me personally and those which have not. Just a heads up... Darth is not my father and I am in no way related to Luke!

A million dollar view from the 44th floor at
One King West - Downtown Toronto
Taken: January 14th, 2014

Joking aside, last Fall I was invited to participate in a three day brand specific event in Downtown Toronto. This past week had that invitation come to fruition.

Not gonna lie... It’s been about a decade since I last drank a single once of any type of "Corporate Kool-Aid”. 

I completely understand the purpose, yet I forgot how great it felt to be a sponge; listening, learning, affirming, observing.

I once again witnessed great leadership energy, combined with a variety of like minded synergy. It was amazing.

Roll your eyes if you must but always remember you can't stop change only manage it.

A wise man once told me that "everything you want is on the other side of fear"

I've honestly had an innate fear of the dark my entire life. Simply throw me a flashlight and we're good to go.

OK. Not funny... Who stole my batteries?

See, I told you timing is everything!

My Early Morning Walk...

I was sitting having lunch last Friday when I looked up and noticed my oldest son walking by on the side walk; caught off guard, I instantly grabbed his attention. We smiled, waved, and then I announced with pride "that's my oldest son.”

Short story long… I sent a text around dinner time to tell him I loved fresh his hair cut as well as to disclose the identity my mystery lunch date. It was at that point he invited my husband and I to come and see him play, with three very well-known musicians as his back up. His set started at eleven, which was way past my bedtime, so I didn't commit.

At around 10:30 pm I had already enjoyed my bubble bath and was ready for bed. When I came downstairs to say good night to my husband, he asked me what time it was. Realizing we could make it to see my son he announced, “get ready... we're going out!” Twenty minutes later (with the back of my hair still wet from my tub) we ventured out.

When we arrived at the Pub I could hear him singing. I asked my husband if we could just stand outside and enjoy the music before we caught him off guard by walking in. Proud as a Peacock, I have to boast that my son is really really good. He comes by his nickname honestly, as he truly does offer a wide range of songs just like a Jukebox.

There is never a bad time to have camera handy.
Taken: (going on 3am) January 11th, 2014

What a night!

We experienced great music; ran into some old friends; and even made some new ones. Enjoyed the company of our two sons, then we set out to walk home around 2:30am.

I felt amazing.

Energized and ready for a great walk home in the wee hours of the morn.

My husband? Not so much!

He’d been up more that 22hrs and definitely had what I can only describe as a speed wobble happening on our trek home. I knew he hadn't drank a lot, so I kept asking (in between fits of full blown laughter)... "What's wrong? Are you OK?!" 

Goob told me Saturday morning that he was drinking a potent 9% craft beer which may offer some explanation. All I know is that 48 hours later, I can't stop smiling. He took 3x's more steps to get home than I did, and in a Town where everything is a 15 minute walk, it truly did take us 45 minutes to make it home!

Makes not matter.... It's the most fun I've had out on this Town in a very long time....

SEE...? I'm Not The Only Bitch In Town!

As you know, Mother Nature has stripped me of my Eastern Canadian title of "Single Biggest Bitch!" What can I say other than I felt the need to relinquish my title when she decided to pummelled us with this unprecedented amount of snow.

Proud of her new found fame, she decided to twist the knife by making our hydro fail twice in one day. After her big hydro encore last night, I decided to climb into bed; with an extra blanket for insurance, two pups for company, and a candle burning safely on my night stand so that I wouldn't shiver. Not because I thought I would be cold;  but because I'm afraid of the dark. Always have been, always will be.

Up before the birds (frankly because they've all flown south) I was alert and focused on my task at hand. It may surprise some that my biggest challenge today wasn't where to put the snow. It was how I was going to keep my pups from planting their land mines in the middle of the driveway for the rest of the winter.

Let’s face it… Life for them is nothing more than a snow tunnel with a door that leads to an exciting cookie jar at this point.

I fought hard but Mother Nature won!
Taken: January 8th, 2014

Anyway, after moving snow on and off all morning, it was finally time to strap on my snowshoes.

Funny as it may sound, my yard felt a like a canvas, and making my 'yard' vision for the future happen wasn't a simple task.

What was the best route? What made the most sense to maintain for the rest of the winter?

Just like 20 years ago (and trying to accomplish anything with small children) it was like I had toddlers again. Once I started to hatch my plan, there were unexpected hiccups. Four legged hiccups. With too much snow and two pups far too stubborn to understand that this exercise was to help THEM!

As a result, they body checked me, steam rolled my ability to move ahead of them, then proceeded to step on the back of my shoes so that I would fall flat on my face into the snow. The tenth time a pup ambushed me from behind and I stumbled face first into the snow there were f-bombs. Not my most memorable moment of the day but a word I am sure everyone single one of you can relate to dropping when it comes to this 'Blizzard of '14'.

Faux drama aside, I'm just trying to personally cope and stay the hell outta traction. ...Not to mention keep in the running to regain my title in 2015.

Can you say El Nino? See... I have a fighting chance!

Enough Already!

I woke up at 7am this morning and it was snowing. Let me rephrase that. It was snowing yet again. Holy boat load of overnight snow accumulation Batman!

The poor little water-ski boat is buried.
BONUS?  The fire hydrant is wearing a hat to keep warm!
Taken: January 6th, 2014

Let’s me just call a spade a spade. I don’t hate winter, yet it’s not like I am unconditionally in love with it either.

Like anything, I take the good with the bad. But this season is creeping right up there to be just downright record breaking.

I am an active adult so I was all over a great winter weather day like yesterday.

I feel a little on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to winter days like today. After I spent hours moving our massive volume of snow, I'm thinking winter really isn't my cup to tea. Frankly, I am completely expecting the glue factory to ring any minute, simply to make an appointment to come and pick up this old grey mare!

I am going to be travelling into downtown Toronto next week for my new job, and I'm not gonna lie that I am kinda nervous. I almost want to rent my hotel room for an extra night so that if night travel next Thursday is bad, I can enjoy a stress free evening rather than white knuckling it in a car.

That right there sounds like a plan. I’ll have to add snackage and extra wine to my list of things to pack. Hang on, I am travelling to get acquainted with my new Team (network within that Team) and be introduced into an industry that I really haven't been on the forefront of.

Note To Self: Do NOT bring an extra bottle of wine for a potential Thursday night stay.

...I BEST BRING TWO because there will be at least four locals stranded!

Hairy Scary Mid Life!

I was talking on the phone with my new boss last week and he decided it was best to review an analysis I had completed face to face rather than over the phone. When he asked what my timing was (on when I'd arrive at the office) I think he was a little taken a back by the lapse. Guess now he knows what I thought was pretty much common knowledge in these neck of the woods. When it comes to my public appearance, I am definitely high maintenance.

No hair. No makeup
It is what it is...
Taken August 3rd, 2013

It's not because I wear a bunch of make-up, designer clothes, and jewellery; matter a fact, it's far worse than materialism. It's my hair. It's always been the bain of my existence.

You THINK that I have a mind of my own? Triple that thought and you are encroaching of the daily behaviour of my head of hair!

It's been completely grey for about a decade and I am embarrassed at the monthly investment I have had to make to ensure it conforms. The odd time I nail it. You know, when all the stars align and it submits, deciding to coif properly.

When it goes rogue? People burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter... and rightfully so.

The honest truth is that I remember the day I stopped asking my husband how my hair looked. It was the day he responded “Are you serious Rhondi? That's a harder question for me to answer than ‘do I look fat in this outfit’!”

Which brings me to my weight. Why does it feel (at this stage of my life) that maintaining my shape is an even bigger challenge than taming my hair? I don’t mean to whine. It's just that in trying on clothes for my upcoming trip yesterday, certain things became a very harsh reality. Once I stop exercising, everything shifts, and not in my favour.

Disappointed with my clothing exercise, my husband gently reassured me that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful. To cheer me up he asked me if I wanted to play naked Yahtzee. When I thanked him for making me laugh, he paused and innocently whispered into my ear "how about a round of naked Twister then?” 

Oh, my, goodness! With that right there, I'm certain my three grown children just died of embarrassment!!!

Chillax chitlins .... YA GOTTA LAUGH ABOUT IT

Bring it 2014

Walking into the cottage today I was playfully talking to myself aloud. Relax. I am told that as long as I don’t answer myself back the exercise is really quite normal.

Comfortable in my stride, I started listing significant month my month moments that summarized my past year. Some moments truly made me sad, yet others scored a very loud HELL YA...  Quickly followed by a glass half full Giddy UP!

2013 offered all of us a quiet yet cherished milestone...

Here's the skinny on my year in review...

My 2013 low point was a blind side experienced in Life Lesson #457 posted last January.

My high point was most definitely A Quiet Milestone posted in October. Thank you again my amazing Jukebox...

My biggest surprise of 2013 was never discussed as a post.

It quietly arrived in the form a friendship in the early Spring of 2013. Sound business advice (combined with them being solid sounding board) gets this person a significant 2013 nod from me.

Award ceremony aside, I have to admit that what's trending on Twitter tonight is very true. Tomorrow will offer the first blank page of  a 365 page book to be written.

The best part about that specific challenge is I feel I am starting 2014 at peace with myself, my family, my life, as well as my business skill set.

I like that... I LIKE THAT A LOT!

Happy New Year and thank you ALL so very much for reading.

An Interesting Sunday At Gull Lake Park

Night before last we hosted a Christmas Open House for our children and a couple dozen of their closet friends. While I was snapping a group picture in front of our Xmas tree, someone accidentally stumbled back and broke the hand painted wine glass I was given for Christmas.

As I've mentioned, my husband and I have never really exchanged gifts. Yet, considering what I have been going through in the last few months, the thought behind his unexpected gift was perfect. My wine glass had small colourful paw prints on it, not to mention some neat little hand painted cartoons that were very applicable. Around the centre section of the wine glass (written in calligraphy) it read “Some days you’re the dog. Some days you’re the hydrant”.

Knowing I was disappointed that it got busted, he asked me this morning if I wanted to trek back to the store where he'd bought it in to see if he could buy me another one. Hope in hand we trekked and I am sad to report it was not meant to be.

Leaving Gravenhurst & heading home we figured we best let our pups a minute to do their business. As a result, we ventured to the closest park. Pulling into the parking lot I realized I'd spent many a summer Sunday night in the park as a child, yet I had never once been to the park in the winter.Today was an interesting and reflective very first for me.

Aside from a sea of trucks and snowmobile trailers the were abandoned in the parking lot the place was desolate. The sky was dreary and the trees were heavily laden with snow. I could hear their large limbs cracking as I made my way to the lake. 

Something tells me Tommy Hunter cancelled tonight show on The Barge!
Taken: Sunday December 29th. 2013

Just looking at those familiar fibreglass walls instantly snapped me back into my childhood. Heading to the barge on Sunday nights was one of the many 'somethings' we did as a family. As I stood there in the moment I felt like a ten year old all over again. 

In a flash it was like there were people everywhere. I envisioned Pierre was racing me to the playground as my parents bickered about where to set up the lawn chairs; and, using all of my charms, I was begging my Dad for money for a blue freezie at the Snack Bar. Then, as my mind focused on the reality at hand, I remembered the venue being so much bigger when I was a kid.

Photo's taken, standing there all alone, the silence felt kind of eerie. Matter a fact it felt like it could have been a backdrop for a zombie movie. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a winter zombie movie, so yet again another first for me. That thought right there took my personal tally of firsts today to two. WOW!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pour myself a lovely glass of wine into a Red Solo Cup.

Well, truthfully it's a Mason Jar.

Because a really good wine needs to be surrounded by glass!

Laughter is ALWAYS The Best Medicine

GOOB  & Dot at 'gift time'
Taken: Dec 25th, 2013

My son just walked down the stairs, kissed me on the head, and a said “thank you for Christmas Mum....” All I could do was smile and say was “you’re quite welcome Goob…” 

I'm not sharing that specific moment because I was taken aback, yet to simply admit that his arms around me (not to mention the heartfelt sentiment) felt really great. 

Like everyone reading, yesterday was a big day for us as a family. Our festivities started the night before but my feeling under the weather had my grown children bonding with their Daddy and celebrating without me. 

Christmas morn had me haul me fevered ass out of bed and into the shower... a shower stall that spun faster than a college experience of 'bed spins'! Exhausted, I finally arrived downstairs to an unexpected bouquet of flowers and a kitchen full of men taking care of every single festive detail.

Jukebox was baking shortbread cookies (from the dough he'd made the night before). Goob was arranging my flowers and getting brunch happening;  while my husband dodged their elbows taking care of every other dinner detail in between. Sipping coffee, it felt like my daughter and I were just simply in the way of a very well oiled testosterone machine. 

Jukebox checking out one of the harmonica's Goob gave him.
Taken: Dec 25th, 2013

True to our personal philosophy, there wasn't much money invested in the way of gifts. Just some small things that were needed. Yet, for the first time ever we gifted food baskets. Wooden totes, filled with groceries, which were truly the surprise hit.

As parents, we really did love shopping for each tote. They may be siblings but each are very unique in their personal tastes, so each tote was filled accordingly.

Gift giving aside... It was my daughter's mid afternoon tears that reminded us how she's worked through the biggest transition of the three in 2013.

I don't want to say that it's because the boys were more resilient transitioning but different life choices bring differing personal journeys. On one end of the scale, you have my fiercely independent boys: the other end of the spectrum appears my daughter. Truly a home body (so close to my husband and I) that she never really had any true desire to spread her wings until this past September. Seeing her tears reminds me just how far removed I was from the boys when they transitioned in the very same journey.

My Sweetie & her Dad (Oh ...and Puddin' too!)
Taken: Dec 25th, 2013

I am fiercely proud of all of my children. If there is one memory I will take away from the last couple of days it's how much we laughed. Everyone was fair game for a zinger, every single jab was taken in stride.

Right or wrong, we have raised our children in an open forum of dialogue and debate. We've lead by example, and held them accountable every step of the way.

Who am I kidding?

There has always been one characteristic that we'd hoped would compliment them and forever help them get through life. Which is simply an overly sarcastic, wonderfully amazing, freakin' bat shit crazy sense of humour!

What can I say, after what I witnessed first hand yesterday...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!