She's On The Move ~ LOOK OUT!

There are five or six fridge magnets that have been in full view at our cottage since we bought the place in 1999. My very favourite reads... The only place where SUCCESS comes before WORK is in the dictionary. Today my daughter proved the purchase a worthwhile investment!

Here's the deal. Bright and early this morning (less than a week since starting her search) Staci began her very first full time job. It's located an hour south of here, and the plan is that she will couch surf in her new home. Couch surf until we move and unpack her belongings (while she attends orientation for her second part time job) this coming Sunday afternoon. 

It's hard to believe that this is the third time she's moved out in the last four years. Each time has offered her a new adventure. Each has added a chapter to her life that she'll always draw from. Not gonna lie, this time feels a little odd. There were no tears to be had, and this morning walking into her new place of employment she showed ZERO fear. Instead, just her trademark quiet confidence. A wonderful confidence that has blossomed out of her personal need to keep growing and keep moving forward.

I know better than most that it takes a significant moment in life to change an embedded thought process. Sometimes you might want to question a person's unexpected shift, in this instance we did not. We offered lots of support and openly explained that though we'd never see her go hungry, our paying for her adventure was not an option.

Chillin' (playing SkipBo) in South Carolina
Taken: April 29, 2013
Photo Cred: My SIS

What can I say? She dug in her heels, saved her money, and she showed us an unconditional determination I never knew she had.

She may not be the extrovert that I am, but she's definitely goal oriented & fiercely driven.

If I were you?

I'D LOOK THE HELL OUTTA THE WAY!

Red Leaves Already?

I had to work today but believe it or not that's not why I'm going to rant via my electronic soapbox this morn. When I climbed in the outdoor shower first thing, it was a balmy 8C outside. Very BRRRR if I do say so myself. Typically not the banner outdoor bathing weather I got use to this time last year.

Since constructing my l'il shower on the 2012 Canada Day weekend, I have always loved keeping it wide open and being one with nature. This last week it’s been so cold outside that I had to put up an extra shower curtain so that my teeth wouldn't chatter while lathering up.

Sub zero weather ='s Red Leaves in Muskoka!
Taken: August 5th, 2013

Even though it was crazy cold this morning, once in and warm, I separated the curtains to look out into the woods. Much to my dismay I spied a spot of red leaves. I literally asked myself the question out loud... "ya gotta be f*cking kidding me?!"

Red Leaves at the end of July gives me a sense that I’ll be wearing my snow pants and mittens by Thanksgiving. Our Canadian Thanksgiving that is, which makes my mood even worse!

I guess I missed the memo. The one that declared that the summer of 2013 would only be three weeks long. Had I been privy to said memo, I would have been much more tactical about how I would have enjoyed it. 

Let’s just say I am seriously disappointed in Mother Nature. Once again, she shows up and leaves us one disappointing mess. 

Red leaves disappointing that is.... BITCH!

Total Reflection All Around...

♫♪♫ Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun...
Please shine down on me... ♫♪♫
Taken: August 3rd, 2013

I was late for work this morning. Not because I slept in or I'm overtired, but because I couldn’t haul my ass out of the lake. 

There’s nothing like diving off a dock the morning after a really great storm. The air always has a feeling of relief about it. Kind of like Hell YA... We survived another one!

I must admit this morning was an especially pretty one. I could see the fish swimming along the shore and I know my favourite turtle wasn't far from site.  

For whatever reason, I only seem to catch a glimpse of it on romantic mornings like today.

I'm not quite sure why my imagination ran a muck this morning (perhaps because for the first time in forever I was alone with my thoughts). I couldn't help but be reflective. Maybe it's as simple as the raging storm last night and the calmness of this morning reminded me of my journey of self discovery.

I have had so many conversations with myself on this silly dock. In all the time I have spent here alone, I've had a million laughs and shed many a tear. I still  wish I could understand why I was chosen to take the specific journey I endured. I guess In hindsight I finally understand I wasn't lost per say, just aimlessly treading water in a place I wasn't meant to be.

Either way, this morning had me feeling gob snapin' fantastic. With all the bullshit of outside influence and differing opinions gone, it sure feels great to be home.

What’s It Going To Be? SALT or SEX?

Holy salt lick Batman!
Taken: July 30th, 2013

Okay, this is really quite funny so I have to share. I should start by mentioning my husband has struggled with high blood pressure for longer than I can remember.

Last night, while we were waiting for David and his girlfriend to arrive for dinner, he decided to make himself a cocktail; a very yummy Caesar to be exact. When I glanced across the kitchen counter I was shocked to see the salt lick Tony had applied to his glass. Being the shy spouse I am, I quietly broached the subject.

"TONY... What don't you understand about staying away from salt with your high blood pressure?" As he looked at me like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar I continued; "DUDE! You're going to have a friggin' stroke!!!"

Joking around I grabbed the glass off the counter, picked up my phone, and headed out to the deck. "I'm gong to Blog about this" I announced.

After taking my photo I shuffled back into the cottage. He was laughing declaring that he had slipped with the lemon juice and that he never intended to put so much celery salt on the rim of the glass.

With a great big smile, I had one other announcement to make. "You realize that once your high blood pressure causes you to have a stoke, you're bedridden and wearing a drool bib, that celibacy is not even remotely an option for me right? I handed him his glass back and we both had a good laugh.

Even though our back and forth was all in good fun; sometimes, it's takes something monumental to change a persons thought process. In this instance, I am not sure if it was the drool bib or the threat of not having sex again that hit home. All I can say is that when his cocktail was finished he was proud that he had consumed only about 50% of the salt and left the remainder on the top of the empty glass.

Either way, we're moving in the right direction!

She's Kickin' Ass & Takin' Names!

For about the last year I have been asking myself how do I start explaining solid "life lessons?” In this particular instance, it came to fruition about a month ago. My daughter is moving an hour South in a minute and a half, and though it’s been a rich topic of discussion, it has also had me worried. Worried until about 9:15am this morning.

Let me back up. She graduated from her chosen career path in the Spring of 2012. She returned home after finishing school because she wasn’t ready to enter the workforce without the comforts of home. After a year of said comfort, she is returning to where she went to school to start her career, partially because she’s sick of home. I couldn't be more proud.

She has a plan. A pretty friggin’ great plan if you ask me. Honestly, I have never watched her be more self-confident in her entire life. She knows what she wants and by golly she’s going out there to get it.

She never misses a ball game.
How nice is it she waited for his season to end?

Taken July 11th, 2013

With her Dad riding shotgun, they ventured out with the thirty two resumes in hand. She hand delivered most, landed two interviews and has three solid leads on positions in the next couple of weeks.

Tonight brings emotion that I have spoken of before but for the first time today I realize is a hard reality. My job here is done. 

Way to go Staci. I knew you’d totally kick ass today.

YUP, my Sweetie kick some, and had them take her name!

GIDDY UP GIRLFRIEND!!

Because Debi Says So

About a month ago I had a meeting with a really nice couple. They have been married for almost 40 years; he has been CEO of several successful publicly traded companies, and she his beacon. Toward the end of the meeting, her husband excused himself to use the washroom, and his wife decided to share. “Six months ago I thought we were building a cottage” she said. “Now I am being completely uprooted and I am totally lost.” She was visibly upset. 

It turns out that her husband had sold their marital home in the city, and in turn had decided exactly how their future was going to unfold. As she shared her story I was in shock. It was all I could do to remain composed and listen. She was devastated.

Meetings number two and three transpired without her in attendance, and finally the three of us met again this week. All I could do was think about what she’d said the first time we'd met and how she must be feeling. Finding ourselves alone, she once again felt reflective. “What am I going to do? I don’t know anyone in Muskoka” she said. My response was instant and heartfelt.

I really do believe in the power of positive energy
TAKEN: July 22nd, 2013

“Relax Debi” I said. "What do you mean you don't know anyone in Muskoka? You know me now don’t you?" 

As she smiled and nodded, I couldn’t resist myself; "It’s all good" I continued. Consider yourself totally hooked up, because let's face it girlfriend, I know EVERYONE!"

She acknowledged my words, excused herself, and went out to their car. She returned with a small silver sticker. She handed it to me and I immediately gave her a hug. 

As soon as they left, I went to my desk and put that puppy on my monitor as a constant reminder of what karma really is.

As silly as it may sound, this was a significant moment I will remember for a very long time. Thanks Debi!

READY - SET - JO!

When you truly know someone. You've been blessed.
GO Thelma & Louise... I mean Rhondi & Jo!
Taken: July 23rd, 2013

For my entire life, my cousin Joanne and I have been as close as sisters and stayed tighter than your best tied knot. 

As kids, living over 100 miles apart we were serious Public School Pen-Pals. Then, while I figure skated off season at Double Rinks, we were 'summer roomies' through high school. 

We definitely did the college commute thing to a tee, and she's lived in Muskoka since 1990 when she married (one of my husband's best buds whom she met at our 1988 wedding). 

Harsh reality is that I see her less than my Maytag repairman. Really harsh reality? ALL of my appliances are made by General Electric!

What can I say? She’s one of the hardest working women I have ever known and connecting sometimes seems impossible. We chat and text every single day but because of our very busy lives we rarely make the effort to connect face to face. Our homes are about a mile apart.

Yesterday, on a spur, she and I did lunch. We were in the zone. That very same zone we have known our entire lives. As I held up my phone, I asked her to throw me up a peace sign, and without hesitation she did. It was like we were fourteen years old again riding our bikes down Marshall Park to the Mini Putt. We were together. We were us. Once again ready to rule the world!

What can I say other that this gal has always made me feel I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. She will ALWAYS be my hero. In two words?

Lucky me!

Vacation Talks Have Officially Started

In mid February 2012 Tony and I ventured to an amazing resort in Negril Jamaica.  It was a well planned trip (that we both really looked forward to) but truth of the matter is it came at kind of an inopportune time.

Heading to meet Heidi & Brian for dinner.
Riu Tropical ~ Negril Jamaica
Taken: February 2012

Another day older and half a dollar wiser we have talked the last couple of weeks about how we would like to see next winter unfold.  I guess the ten million dollar question is, will our vacation time be pet free or pet friendly?

The hard reality is that I have to either book the beach house in South Carolina for Christmas or let it go. The more frustrating part is that if I don’t book personal vacation time now, I will once again end up working straight through. 

My intent tonight isn’t to whine about crappy vacations yet pull from the last three or four experiences and ask myself what I would I do differently? A few things come to mind.

I would suggest we not take a return night flight into YYZ ever again (it was exhausting). I would definitely confirm my daughter has her passport with her before trying to cross the border into the USA. But first and foremost, I would not take my Blackberry; it distracts me, literally alters my mindset, and Tony deserves better.

I am seriously embarrassed to admit my roaming charges in Jamaica were over $300. Last Xmas? Almost $200. And in April about $120 bucks (but that's only because I'd discovered remote WI-FI spots). NOT taking my Blackberry to the islands just upgraded our room or paid for Staci to dog sit for our week away.

WHAT?! Don't tell me you're going to bitch about the number of shoes I usually take? Whatever happened to three outta four ain’t bad? Hey there bucko ~ everyone knows that a girl's gotta accessorize her tan and her toes with really great shoes! It's right up there with thou shall always wear sunscreen... AND... I will not bring my Blackberry on vaycay!

Orange You Going To Ask…?

You probably assessed from my post Friday night that I did NOT have a banner day. Pretty sure it wasn't the heat wave that did it, but rather the wave of heat (meaning my temper) that obliterated a couple of not so innocent bystanders.

What can I say? In the industry I work in, you either function at my pace or get the hell outta dodge. I wasn’t mean, I was assertive. I always try to give solid direction but once or twice a year I need to add a little volume for effect. Friday was ACDC opening for Led Zeppelin kinda loud. 

Bright side is that home is my haven. Knowing my frame of mind, my husband and daughter met me right after work so we could enjoy a nice dinner together. Instead I arrived home to an expensive dog buffet and some serious shock. Shit day at work, crap mess at home. There were tears.

I didn’t yell at the dog, nor say anything to anyone in the house. I just sat on the crapper in the ensuite and quietly wept. Great big tears. The kind that flow from disappointment. Disappointment in myself for yelling. Disappointment in myself for not locking up my fecking shoe cupboard.

Orange has always been my favourite flavour &
it's definitely one of my very favourite colours.
Taken: July 21st, 2013

As I quietly melted down my husband let me do just that and headed to town to run a couple of errands. 

Half an hour later I was in the kitchen with a jumbo straw in a 750ml bottle of Pinot Grigio when Tony walked in with a beautiful bouquet of roses.

Three years ago he would have simply asked “are we still going out for dinner?” 

Friday, he went and picked up dinner, and bought me these wonderful flowers.

What can I say? I started to cry again. “I know you had a really bad week” he said. 

Through my second wave of tears I put my arms around him, my head on his shoulder, and thanked him. I could only muster a handful of words which were…. I love you.

I AM a very lucky lady.

Puddin’ You Got Some Splanin Ta Do!

Puddin' & Me
Cruising in Bessie Canada Day Weekend
Taken: July 1st, 2013

Seriously, how could something so cute be so bad? Hey now, easy there. I was talking about the four legged bitch in the pic, not the two legged one that's typing!

Bad day you ask? Yup, yup, yup! 

Not only was work out of control (making me a really big biotch) but it appears that so's my dog Puddin'. 

I honestly thought her fits of psychosis had past but today she proved me wrong. Three pair of really great dress shoes and $100 iron met their demise. Don't ask about the latter, because you wouldn't believe me if I told you. 

What do you think? Pud's blood just a little low on iron? I know, a very weak groaner at best.

I get the whole 'separation anxiety' she suffers from, I even get the whole 'I wanna be on the dock and not in town' canine frame of mind. But why does it have to happen on a day when it feel like I've been dragged behind a car farther than the dog in National Lampoon's Vacation?

Sad part is when it comes to me and my time, Puddin' isn't the only one plagued with a case of "the more I get the more I want" mindset. I also know that in all instances, I have been the one to set the expectation. I repeat, "I am the one that has set the bar so high". See? Just my luck. Friday night, I've set the bar, and not a bartender in sight! 

Probably a good thing. I have to haul my sorry ass into work tomorrw!! 

As I click my heels together I chant.... "Ya gotta laugh about it... Ya gotta laugh about it....Ya gotta laugh about it!"

Too Early A Tee Time Dear?

Tony on the 14th Tee.
 Taken: June 2013

My husband is one of the most natural athletes I have ever met in my entire life. Me? Not so much but I'll never give up!

We're both still active in midlife, and this time of year my personal focus is golf. I should probably mention that though my husband “likes” golf... it's solely because his wife "likes" golf. He's a brilliant golfer, yet baseball remains his true passion.

Mid June my husband and I went away for our first romantic golf getaway in forever. We'd only golfed together once in a couple of years, and in all fairness I had purchased new clubs, and seen far more play than he had.

We were playing 18; we wanted to swim & sun in the afternoon and enjoy a fine dining experience that evening so I booked our tee time for 8:45 in the morning.

I played an exceptional front nine and we were neck and neck at the turn. Then, on twelve, my man got a case of the tee block shanks. By the 16th, he was inconsolable. And by the end of the round the score told the inevitable. We cleaned our cart, loaded our clubs, and headed back to the resort.

Great round and a really great weekend ♥
June: 2013

We spent the rest of the day by the pool playing Yahtzee, enjoyed our late dinner reservation, as a result staying up well past our normal bedtime. 

When we woke in the morning, he rolled over and gave me a hug and a kiss and said “... I am so sorry that I fell asleep on you last night...” 

“It’s okay” I said. “but was that because I beat you at golf yesterday?” As we roared with laughter, our day began and we packed for home. 

Hey, lemee tell ya something. I love a really great night of passion as much as the next gal, but winning at golf - fair and square - for the first time in almost three decades? 

A BAZILLION TIME BETTER!

Well, maybe not a BAZILLION... But really, really, really LOTS!

3 Bills & A Bilge Pump To Boot!

Bessie Bowrider arriving at her new home...
Taken: June 21,2013

I am kinda proud that I’ve never been a "stuff" person. I have never been in the habit of buying “stuff” I don’t need. However, in this instance, I am totally guilty of doing just that. What can I say? When it comes to my pups I spare no expense!

I should start by sharing that we have a boat. A waterski boat with 135hp Merc on the back. It’s far too much boat and motor for our lake and the Muskoka river infrastructure that accompanies it; but it too was a great deal, and purchased for my two legged children, not my furry four legged ones. 

Dottie & Bessie getting acquainted.
Taken: July 29th, 2013

This past winter, one of my blog mentors posted on Facebook that they had a small bowrider boat for sale: boat, motor, trailer and all fixings for three hundred bucks! She posted pics of her and her family enjoying old Bessie and I immediately bought her sight unseen.

Last weekend Tony and I took Bessie Bowrider to the Spa. Scrubbed her down and gave her a head to toe makeover. Pressure washed the covers, and placed her in the water for all to see.

She looks great for a mature woman and she runs like a well-oiled machine. Bottom line is we’re really lucky to have her.

I love our cottage. We have several kilometres of boating we enjoy. We have the ability to boat really fast around the lake, as well as putt along the river peacefully enjoying it's natural beauty. We have it all ten minutes from our home without a gigantic tax bill. Over the years people have had distinct opinions when they hear where our cottage is located, but their opinions are exactly that - theirs!

Bessie putting Puddin' to sleep!
Taken: July 1,2013

Honestly? Nine times out of ten I look at their legal site address and I bite my tongue. Not out of envy, but because I am dying to ask the multi million dollar question.

Is it paid for?

Just like Bessie Bowrider... The Peacock's Nest has three golden words in common with her.

PAID IN FULL! 

A Great Canadian Weekend

From the time I was a kid, Canada Day has always been something I've looked forward to and truly embrace celebrating.  Topping my personal leader board as my favourite statutory holiday, I am pleased to announce that this past weekend did not disappoint!

Nater, Staccs & Big D.
Missing? Gavin B.
Fireworks are over. Flip Cup Sing Along on deck!
Taken: LATE June 30th, 2013

Staci and her entourage arrived just in time for all the food that was waiting. A dozen strong, all were hungry and on a mission. We was ready!

I love being a Mom...

I know my role has changed a lot but I love the duty and cherish the title just the same. It never gets old.

Gavin B & with R
Taken: June 30th, 2013

With last weekend front of mind, I find it interesting how we have raised our children to embrace what we personally love most. In this instance/post, you may dismiss it as a National 'party at the cottage' excuse, but I can assure you that it's much bigger than that.

My children have been raised to know that this is our day. It celebrates the freedom we know as a country and the hope we have as a nation. It reinforces our desire for peace, and a respect for our natural resources and their amazing value. It celebrates our right to vote and gives us the ability to embrace our unconditional PRIDE. Canada Day reinforces to our children that they have a voice.

We, as Canadians, are known around the globe to be really great people. Our respect is earned because we are giving and gracious. On this specific holiday, every single one of us unconditionally stand a little taller, smile a little wider, and sing a little louder.... At least I know we do at The Peacock's Nest!

Happy Birthday Canada... 

"May our children teach their children to both embrace you and handle you with care. 

Let us pray that all others love you as you deserve to be loved forever and always."

~Rhondi St.Onge Peacock

Canada Day ~ Orillia Lake
Photo Credit: Jamie Peacock
Taken: July 1st, 2007

She Loves Me… She Loves Me Not.

She most definitely loved me.
I miss my Daisy Marie every single day...
Taken: June 23rd, 2013

I am sure it's purely a coincidence but You’ve Got Mail ranks right up there as one of my most watched movies of all time.

One of the most memorable scenes for me is when Tom Hanks goes to her apartment to bring her flowers and try to start anew. He brings her a bouquet of daisies. 

“Don’t you think daisies are the friendliest flower” she asks? For a number of very personal reasons, I couldn’t agree more.

I was about to tackle the lawn at the cottage (for the first time this season) last Sunday when I stood in amazement at my beautiful sea of daisies. I was in awe as I watched Dot wade through the white and yellow and green foliage. If there's one word I would use to describe our moment it would be peaceful. As I do in 99% of my ah-ha moments, I reached for my camera.

I've taken a bazillion pictures over the years but this one is truly very special. As I bent down I uttered the words "I love you Daisy Marie..." The bizarre thing is that Dot moved in to smell the flowers and literally held her pose. Once again, it was like the three of us were reunited. It's hard to believe that she left me over a year ago this month. It's even harder to believe is that she still preoccupies my thoughts.

June is a roller coaster month for me emotionally. So many highs to acknowledge and so many lows to revisit. As I snapped the pic, I was quickly reminded that June 23rd was the very last day I laughed with my father before he passed. Yet taking the photo, I wasn't even remotely sad.

With my glass half full, I instantly told myself that my beloved Daisy Marie didn't want me to spend the day alone. How silly is it that as I snapped the photo I could feel my father's hand touch my shoulder.

Truth be known? There were really four of us present in this very special moment...

June 24th, 2012? A Biggie For Me…

GOOB & Me at Actinolite
Taken: June 23th, 2012.

It was exactly a year ago yesterday that I sat outside the King Eddie Hotel in downtown Toronto sobbing as I prepared for my journey back to Muskoka. 

If I close my eyes I can see the bench I sat on that morning; I was outside a Starbucks, my eyes were damp, and I began to lean on a friend via BBM.

My memory of that very moment's vivid; it was a Sunday morning, and I felt totally lost and alone in my dark thoughts. 

My biggest problem? There wasn't a GPS nor flashlight anywhere in sight to help me find my way!

A year later I feel sorry for my poor David; in hindsight I was leaning on him far more than I should have. In retrospect, he valiantly carried me. I hadn’t been diagnosed as depressed, but 365 days after the fact, I am convinced that bothersome stray cat was scratching really hard at the screen door.

The only thing I didn’t do was fold like a lawn chair and let him in. You have no idea how easy it would have been to open the door and welcome the company. I wanted to. I just never did. I worked really hard every single day (for the next several months) so I wouldn't have to clean the litter box.

I am reflective for a couple of reasons tonight. Today is the first anniversary of one of my lowest points personally during a very trying time. I didn’t go to work yesterday. It wasn’t a vacation day, I called in sick. Not because I was feeling blue but the exact opposite. My driving need for a sense of accomplishment had me rendered completely exhausted.

I'm in a great place. Matter a fact, this summer I am going to hold myself accountable rather than look to those around me to blame for my being a bitch. Blame is nothing other than a lame excuse. That said, there are a very small handful of people in my life that need to just go away.

Departure isn't needed because I am mad or upset, but rather it's time to let go of the outside influence that breed self doubt. As bizarre as it sounds, I don’t want them to go away mad, I just want them to go away. As I resign myself to the reality at hand, I only have one other thing to say.

You know who you are...

Smartie Is Coming Home!

EVERYONE SAY HELLO TO BRIAN ♥
Taken: 2007

For a girl that's lucky to get one surprise a year, this past week officially delivered my 2013 ditty.

I can’t describe the excitement I felt yesterday when my very bestest friend in the whole wide world confirmed that he was making an unexpected trip from the Yukon (home to Ontario) in less than a month.

As I have said before, the 5,675 kilometres that separates us is insignificant; at the end of the day unconditional is exactly that, which is how I would describe our friendship. It works because we make it. We care. It's as simple as that. That said, this is the first summer visit since he's moved, that I am going to him instead of him coming to me in Muskoka.

Though he did live in Muskoka for almost 20 years, outside of me living here it really is no longer a focal point for him. His family vacations on an island in the Kawartha’s (which is where he’ll land after his meetings in Ottawa). As a result, I am going on a road trip.

I know our time together will pass crazy fast. We communicate in one form or another almost every single day, but there’s nothing like spending time together face to face. I enjoy hearing him laugh but seeing him laugh is the absolute best. The second best thing? Seeing his entire family. Close third? Fishing at dawn and not saying a single word to each other, just enjoying the one thing we rarely get to enjoy.

Each other’s company!...I can hardly wait!!!

Congratulations Auntie Cai!

My Auntie Cai is at the tippy top of the heap in my books. You know the type? She defines "the kind of person I want to be when I grow up!" Though I know she'll smile at my humour, she knows that I've always had an absolute respect for her from a very young age. 

My Auntie Cai at her 80th Birthday Party
Taken: November 2012

She’s 80 now, which makes no matter when it comes to her (because 80 is her new 60). I am proud to announce that she was just named the Lucile C. Jolette Volunteer of The Year, in the town where she has lived almost her entire life.

After reading the article that was written for her in the local newspaper I was moved. I can envision her accepting her award. She'd be humble for sure,  but I would hope she would have accepted her award with bells on.

She has the most amazing bells: dressed to the nine’s, she'd be wearing a smile that would score low as a twelve on a scale of one to ten. What can I say? She has a great spirit and this indescribable energy! 

She's smart, honest, fair, but most of all (growing up with a mother that was stringent) she's always been bat shit crazy fun. Don't get me wrong;  she'd  listen to your plight, hold you accountable for your crap, but always help you find the way. She'd help you understand the really hard journeys, and make you will yourself strong enough to take them. At least I know she did that for me.

I wish I could share the article written in her honour. It wraps up with “Cai is tenacious and faithful to causes to which she invests her time…” I am so very proud to be one of those causes. I am proud to admit that I've raised my kids the way she helped raise me; hands on, with honesty, support, and great lines of open communication. She showed me the way, and for that I am forever grateful.

Congratulations on being named Volunteer of the Year Auntie Cai. Just like your own, I love you very much.

Just Always Find A Way...

Make me laugh and we're golden.

Yesterday my very favourite client called to pick my brain; “I know it’ll only take me 45 seconds” he said, “but I value your opinion just the same”.  Laughing, I asked what he needed.

He’s a very successful downtown Toronto lawyer with a great place in Beaumaris. My other important notable? He could very well be Canada's Worst Handyman. 

Seriously, if I had a dime for every time he said "I could do the work myself but..." I would single handedly be able to pay his very expensive land tax bill!

Anyway, for the third summer in a row we’re doing work at his place. Low and behold, he called because he wants to do a renovation to his pool area. After talking about his options, we both agreed on what would look and work best.

So, after ten minutes of sarcastic banter, he finally confessed that he doesn’t really need the name of a contractor per say, he needs a favour. Kind of a “who can you have at my place to meet me this Saturday?” I agreed to call in a marker on one condition. I would make the call but stipulated  "he's my friend... so whatever you do... DON'T cheap him down!" I did use an ethic reference but you catch my drift.

All joking aside, I am so glad that I could help Dave by just picking up the phone. Glass half full? That Grant unconditionally offered to help me help Dave no questions asked.

Could it be that my energy feeds the brightness the others offer me?

I most certainly hope so... I really do most certainly hope so!

Happy 85th Birthday Hervé…

Morning coffee on the very last birthday he was alive to celebrate.
Taken: June 2005

Today is June the 9th and it's the day my father was born.

Hard to believe if he were alive he would be 85 years old today. 

What I find even harder to believe is that he left me eight years ago this June 23rd. 

Makes no matter the lapse of time, as I think of him every single day.

I remember absolutely everything about my dad; the sound of his voice, the look in his eyes when he smiled, most importantly the love that he had for life. His work ethic was one thing but his loyalty to his family and his friends was so unconditional it bordered indescribable.

To this very day he remains the voice inside my children`s head, my husband`s closest confidant, and the spirit inside me to never give up and never stop trying. I use to think that my personal success came from my mother pushing me at the rink all those years. It may have been part of the foundation, but as a mother and wife I know that all the finishing touches were a tag team effort.

I couldn`t have done it without my husbands support, and he couldn`t have carried the kids and I without my father`s love and support. A cold beer in the carport is sometimes all you need when you've got three screaming kids and a wife/daughter that's a total bitch. That right there is the God honest truth.

Happy 85th Birthday Dad.

We love and miss you very much. xoxox

My Friday Night Fix

My morning went off the rails quicker than Charlie Sheen in a crack house. I'm not joking. At every single turn, I found unwanted stress. Not just stub your toe kind of stress, but the big stuff that emotional tsunamis are made of.

"The Lord helps those that help themselves.." my mother always use to say. This time last year, I would have booked an appointment with my Chiropractor to ease my body's tension and stress; nowadays, my needs are very different, so I quickly put my thinking cap on. With tears flowing again after lunch, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I needed to call and book a room.

No one will ever know... I thought. It’s a Friday night in June, there will be no one around. I had this surge of adrenaline, then I closed the office door and made the call before I changed my mind. “I’d like to book a room for right after work” I said. “Are there any available?” They have my credit card on file so there was no need to register. (Who says a small town doesn't have its perks?)

When I arrived, they were extremely accommodating. "Your room is waiting” she said. I closed the door, took off my clothes and looked lovingly at my old and dear friend. I have never been so happy to be in another’s exclusive company in my entire life.

Once I was finished, I left completely satisfied and extremely content. Tonight made me see the light. So much so that on the way out the door and whispered "just so you know... I really do love you... very much.”

My 1st Friday Night Special
Taken: June 7/13

I wish I could have heard those very words uttered back. I have always longed to hear "I love you too"  but not a single word was said. As always, I turned out the lights, closed the door, and headed home. 

Kind of sad really. When will they invent a talking tanning bed that can unconditionally return my love?

What the hell were you thinking?

♪♫ ♪ Happy 21st Birthday You Two… ♫♪♫

I can’t believe it was 21 years ago tonight that I was lying in a hospital bed and my son Jamie was tugging at my arm saying “...come on Mommy, let’s just go home.” We’d prepared him for the fact that he was going to have a brother and sister, but it took the overnight separation (and two screaming newborns) to snap him into the reality at hand.

Yess-sir-ree! Twenty one years ago today our family was officially complete.

They arrived  two minutes apart. In a flash, two seven pound babies landed into my/our arms filling both our lives and our hearts. I hate to keep playing the time card, but where the hell did it go?

Where do I start? From the day they were born they were a team. One would cry, they'd both get fed. The other cranky, they'd both be amused. I swear from the minute they were born they had this cosmic plan. Silly or not after all these years, that early genetic chemistry is still very apparent today.

It’s eerily quiet night here tonight. It feels kind of weird. David and Tony are both working late and Thom took Staci out for a quiet dinner (because he knew that she was home alone with me). Yup, gone are the days of balloons and birthday cakes, not to mention hall rentals and kids puking from eating too many hot dogs. Too bad really... 

I am first to admit that I’ve led a sheltered life, but Staci & David birthday parties were always some very serious fun. Guess tonight is the end of an era. A day I never imagined would arrive.

NOT A CHANCE! I gotta pull all the stops out one last time this weekend. I know that they're 21 but I gotta have one last hurrah for Sweetie & Goob right? So the judge looks to the jury and Tony says... "ABSOLUTELY"!

Who says at 21 you're too old for a surprises? Happy Birthday you two. We love you very much.

Staci & Daviid's 18th Birthday - A good time was had by all.
Happy 21st Birthday. xoxoxoxo
Taken: June 5th 2010

Just Been One Of Them Thar Days

I’m not sure if it’s the crappy weather, or that I'm just over tired; but I was genuinely off my stride today. I suppose it could be something as simple as the barometric pressure but I’m not entirely sure. 

Part of my problem was I was awake this morning before six and (no matter how hard I tried) I couldn’t get back to sleep. I tried a movie, I tried a warm cup of water with lemon, I tried counting sheep, nothing worked. 

Serioulsy... This is how I've felt all day.

It’s literally been forever since I have felt funk instead of fab at the cottage; as a result, I just packed ‘er up, and headed for home.

The change of scenery of arriving home? Didn't help.

A relaxing hour long phone conversation this aft, a yummy Sunday dinner, an extra long tranquil bubble bath?

Not a single stinkin' solitary stitch of improvement!

What can I say, with the day almost behind me, I have very little idea why my day has presented itself as a glass half empty. Guess I'll need to think about it. Boy I hate that specific string of  words. They always seem to offer me far more trouble than they're worth.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. As I grumble and slip into my jammies, I suppose I have to resign myself to the fact that I just absolutely hate the unknown. I can't stand when there’s something I can’t figure out. Kinda pisses me off actually!

Just sayin’

Pot Of Gold Anyone?

My photo does not do this perfect moment justice.
Taken: May 31, 2013

As I do every Friday, I had planned to golf last night. That said, Mother Nature had a different plan. As a result, I bolted out to the cottage like lightening ahead of The Weather Networks warning of it.

As I poured myself a glass of wine the sky opened and the mother-load hit; I love a good storm, and with no lighting on the radar, I stood in the rain and kept Puddin’ fetching a tennis ball in and out of the lake.

What can I say, Dottie would participate in no such nonsense, so after dinner, it was Dot’s turn for a treat.

...Out we went in her favourite boat that floats.

The lake was like glass. The bugs were at bay, and we were all alone. Peddling along, and singing out loud to my pups, I glanced over to find this breathtaking site.

I instantly began sending it to friends that can relate. People that work with people for a living, and strive every single day to encompass a “glass half full” mindset. One friend instantly responded with the obvious question.

"Did you find the pot of gold?" he asked. "Not yet" I said. "But I feel there's hope."

His response both warmed my heart and made me smile.

"I agree..." was all I read. 

Frick 'n Frack Are Back!

Though she was in a hurry, I did manage to chat with Staci before she left for a typical seasonal Monday night in Muskoka. Yup, Frick 'n Frack and the gang were off to get into mischief. It really is kinda neat that after all these years they're still such a very close group. Public School, High School, Post-Secondary school behind them, their gang is still a pack: Tightly knit and fiercely loyal.

Anyway, after a good night sleep, I awoke and headed down to my office to greet my day. When I logged onto my Facebook, my heart dropped; “Bitch who pushed me off the stage and broke my wrist... f*ck you!!!!”

Frick n' Frack before Grade 9 Spring Formal - My Babies.
Taken: April 2008

I knew they'd taken the bus to The Kee to Bala for Resort Night, but could this be true?

Without a word of a lie, here was my immediate thought process.

1) Holy shit! She’s broken her wrist!

2) Where the hell was David and the Gang?

3) Nice Facebook status update Stacccs; enough with the F-Bombs already!

Seriously? WTF! I have no idea where she gets it?! I'm pretty sure it's her father but the jury is still out.

Joking aside, one sling and a cast later, here's the story. It turns out Frick was being accosted (punched in the face repeatedly) on the dancefloor. Frack decided that Frick needed her uncondtional "you can't punch my brother in the face" support and stepped in. As Frick caught his bearings, Frack stepped back. Pushed from behind, my Sweetie (I mean Frack) landed with all her weight on her wrist on the concrete floor five feet below. 

Was there alcohol involved? Were there Police involved? Was a lesson learned? Has it been discussed? The answer to all of the above is yes. What can I say? Frick 'n Frack are back for the summer and the game has changed. Glass half full? We can finally discuss all of these life changing things as adults. 

For the record? She really was very brave. Just sayin'

Trust Is Earned

Boy, this past weekend blew by. I worked on Saturday morning; then my husband and I did our house chores that afternoon. I spent all day Sunday outside. My man was kind enough to do the groceries so that I didn’t have to leave the yard.

I love a day when I feel like I get a lot accomplished. You know those types of days, where the only thing you do is wash your face, brush your teeth, and dig out the ugliest clothes you can find. I blissfully embrace any day that I don’t have to get all gussied up. If I had things my way, everyday would be dress down day!

Out on the lake Easter Weekend
Taken: March 30st, 2013

All of that said, my post isn’t on the topic of vanity. My mood is more spiritual.

What makes some people extremely compatible? 

Why is it after all these years he and I have stood the test of time? 

Is it that there's just so much history it's comfortable? I believe it's much bigger than that.

It's been a rough couple of years. Have we had our ups and downs in the non-conjugal sense? Absolutely! Have we sat across from one and other (in tears) worried that we’d never fix what together we’d broken? Yes we have. Has it been worth all of our hard work to arrive at today?  Hell ya!!

When did I know we'd never be apart? It was this past January 22nd. An unexpected incident rocked me to my very core. I was so upset I was almost crippled. I missed work and I completely shut down. It shattered me emotionally.

During that time, like he had before, he carried me. He wrapped his arms around me and wiped away my tears. My heartbreak instantly became ours, and we got through it together.

Why am I so reflective tonight?

The January incident landed on the front burner at work again today. This time I was ready for it. Proving once again that the only person in my life I truly trust is my husband. What can I say? Trust is earned. 

Oh, and let's not forget the other thing today reminded me never to forget...

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!

My Silly Little Hang Up

So it happened again.

“WOW, you don’t look 48” a business colleague said. Jerk!

Do men not realize that age may be a sensitive subject for some women? I don’t know about other women but for this cat, it’s like entering the sketchiest area of Detroit during a riot. 

DON'T go there!

Just like 99.9% of the people I know, I have a couple of quirky hang ups. I hate being late, I hate not having a plan, and I hate that I am getting old (them right thar are pretty much my top three)! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking Services Ontario for a wheelchair parking sticker anytime soon, but I would love not to have to dye my hair EVER again.

I am of the firm opinion that age is a mindset; you’re only as old as you feel, and as young as your imagination will allow. It’s a number, not a gauge of who I am.  I am active in both mind and body, and I don’t see either of 'em stopping anytime soon. Why would they? Why should they?

What did I say to the person that assessed who I was based on the number 48? “It’s been nice meeting you. You’re 45 right?... Ya don’t look a day over 58 1/2. Oh, and the deliveries? They are at the rear!”

That’s what I wanted to say. Instead, I just turned down his very generous lunch invitation. The loss is his.

What can I say? Us gray haired mamas gotta have some very high standards!

Your Name Was What?

I generally may sound all “get up in your grill” and crap, but I am realistically pretty fragile. Though I would never classify myself as insecure, I do tend to second guess myself when people make unnecessarily cruel comments. 

My point? I HATE MEAN PEOPLE.

PLEASE...
An ass has a purpose!!

When it comes to these folks, the only squint of rationalization I can come up with is; that mean people have no idea they are being mean.

Trust me, I've tried to gently point it out, but the only serious flaws they'll ever see are yours. So, how does one spot a classic mean person?

They'll always play the “I honestly don't have a clue what you’re talking about" card. Which is nothing more than sheer justification of their treatment of you in their own mind.

At the end of the day, I only have two words for those types of overbearing and smothering peeps. 

Shut the hell up and MOVE ON!

OK, that was seven, but you my gist.

What can I say? My apologies. Mean people drive me crazy, not to mention make me all frizzled and frazzled inside.

Just Meant To Be...

I wandered up the cottage stairs at dawn this morn in a great mood. Turns out I had experienced one of the best weekends at the cottage ever. The weather was magnifique (not to mention the company) and for the first time in years, it feels like I'm starting this crazy six month season well rested. Well rested and surrounded by some amazing energy.

As a result driven individual, I know first hand that I can be my own worst enemy. It’s not that I want to dwell on the fact that the sky is falling – I just can’t help but focus on when the hell it will. I push harder, only to find I worry more. Some may label me neurotic: I prefer quirky (with a splash of charm folded in for good measure).

I knew something in my life had to shift and it did. A random phone call to remind a colleague that “coffee's for closers” and that they needed to "buy me a cup, pot, Tim Horton's franchise" completely changed my outlook and long term focus.

"You're awesome"...
"No! You're awesome!!"

I know it's human nature for you to read this and wonder who the hell I am talking about but it makes no matter. They know who they are, and they know I think they are absolutely awesome.

Just like me, they have the odd day where they think they may want to run for the hills and the closest lawn tractor, but I'm here to remind them that it's not an option!

From that very first cup of coffee, I knew we'd met for a reason. Moving forward, they need to make sure they never lose sight of a couple of things (Cole's Note version & in no particular order):

A) We are going to kick some very serious ass.

B) We will always promise to use our energy for good and never evil....and

C) We are going to remain humble as we tell everyone "I told you so".

Hang in there my friend. Tomorrow is another day. Why? Because we freakin' rock!

...Not to mention that we're totally awesome!!

Today I Wept ~ By Ellyse Murphy

 (c) Ellyse Murphy
All copyrights reserved

Today I wept. 

I wept for a stranger. I wept for a family. I wept for a nation. I wept for this world.

I have been anxiously checking updates daily, it’s consumed almost every conversation I’ve had and it hasn’t left my mind. Today, the update came – with great sadness. My heart fell, tears fell, I felt empty. I don’t know this man, I don’t know his family, I don’t even know somebody who knows somebody who knows him but I have a father; to grow up knowing I wouldn’t get to know my father because someone wanted a truck, would be devastating beyond words. I have a fiancé; to lose him because someone wanted a thrill, would break me in half. I have uncles, brothers and friends; to lose any one of them in this way is unimaginable. And so, I wept. 

I can’t count the number of items I have sold on Kijiji. I have found many jobs and hired many people from ads on Kijiji. I have been in people’s homes, met in central locations and had people in my home. I have test driven cars and sold cars. Tim’s story is everyone’s story – we trust. 

Today, I question God. We all wonder what kind of world we live in that a man could be taken this way. It’s okay to be angry with God. Your anger will make your relationship stronger. He will guide you through. Often, right before God gives us something, he puts us through hardship. For the Bosma family, this is one of the biggest hardships you’ll know. Today you will weep, tomorrow you will weep, you very well might weep every day for the rest of your life – a piece of you was killed when your husband, father, son, uncle, friend was killed. But, one day, you will find your greatest moment of strength and you will move forward for Tim, you will find a way to honour him, find a way to prevent this from happening again, find a way to make meaning; you will find your way. 

To the media, I would ask that you report on Tim. Report about his life, his accomplishments, his family, his friends, the people who have prayed for him. STOP reporting on the suspects. I’m tired of turning on Google and finding stories about such a promising man in aviation, a humble man, a quiet and reserved man. I don’t want to read one more fact about him. I won’t speak for the family but I can’t imagine it helps them either. There is one question they want answered: why? This doesn’t require pages and pages of details on this man, your reporting is speculation. I don’t care if he was an aviation prodigy – today he is a monster. 

To the men who took Timothy Bosma, I have this to say: You have broken a family. You have killed the dreams of a wife and a little girl. You have crushed a mother. His family mourns his loss but do not be mistaken, they are not alone. 41,855 on Facebook alone, have found a way to be there for the family – some sent prayers, some sent love, some called the tip lines, some posted flyers, some talked to everyone they knew about Tim, some were the reason you’ve been caught. People from across the globe are pouring out their love and compassion for this man and his family. 

You are but two men. We won’t focus on you because we cannot. We cannot allow ourselves to be consumed with all that is wrong with the world. I saw 41,855 reasons that you don’t matter. 

Let us remember – just when the caterpillar thought life was over, he became a butterfly. 

Timothy Bosma – Gone but not forgotten.