Orange You Going To Ask…?

You probably assessed from my post Friday night that I did NOT have a banner day. Pretty sure it wasn't the heat wave that did it, but rather the wave of heat (meaning my temper) that obliterated a couple of not so innocent bystanders.

What can I say? In the industry I work in, you either function at my pace or get the hell outta dodge. I wasn’t mean, I was assertive. I always try to give solid direction but once or twice a year I need to add a little volume for effect. Friday was ACDC opening for Led Zeppelin kinda loud. 

Bright side is that home is my haven. Knowing my frame of mind, my husband and daughter met me right after work so we could enjoy a nice dinner together. Instead I arrived home to an expensive dog buffet and some serious shock. Shit day at work, crap mess at home. There were tears.

I didn’t yell at the dog, nor say anything to anyone in the house. I just sat on the crapper in the ensuite and quietly wept. Great big tears. The kind that flow from disappointment. Disappointment in myself for yelling. Disappointment in myself for not locking up my fecking shoe cupboard.

Orange has always been my favourite flavour &
it's definitely one of my very favourite colours.
Taken: July 21st, 2013

As I quietly melted down my husband let me do just that and headed to town to run a couple of errands. 

Half an hour later I was in the kitchen with a jumbo straw in a 750ml bottle of Pinot Grigio when Tony walked in with a beautiful bouquet of roses.

Three years ago he would have simply asked “are we still going out for dinner?” 

Friday, he went and picked up dinner, and bought me these wonderful flowers.

What can I say? I started to cry again. “I know you had a really bad week” he said. 

Through my second wave of tears I put my arms around him, my head on his shoulder, and thanked him. I could only muster a handful of words which were…. I love you.

I AM a very lucky lady.

Puddin’ You Got Some Splanin Ta Do!

Puddin' & Me
Cruising in Bessie Canada Day Weekend
Taken: July 1st, 2013

Seriously, how could something so cute be so bad? Hey now, easy there. I was talking about the four legged bitch in the pic, not the two legged one that's typing!

Bad day you ask? Yup, yup, yup! 

Not only was work out of control (making me a really big biotch) but it appears that so's my dog Puddin'. 

I honestly thought her fits of psychosis had past but today she proved me wrong. Three pair of really great dress shoes and $100 iron met their demise. Don't ask about the latter, because you wouldn't believe me if I told you. 

What do you think? Pud's blood just a little low on iron? I know, a very weak groaner at best.

I get the whole 'separation anxiety' she suffers from, I even get the whole 'I wanna be on the dock and not in town' canine frame of mind. But why does it have to happen on a day when it feel like I've been dragged behind a car farther than the dog in National Lampoon's Vacation?

Sad part is when it comes to me and my time, Puddin' isn't the only one plagued with a case of "the more I get the more I want" mindset. I also know that in all instances, I have been the one to set the expectation. I repeat, "I am the one that has set the bar so high". See? Just my luck. Friday night, I've set the bar, and not a bartender in sight! 

Probably a good thing. I have to haul my sorry ass into work tomorrw!! 

As I click my heels together I chant.... "Ya gotta laugh about it... Ya gotta laugh about it....Ya gotta laugh about it!"

Too Early A Tee Time Dear?

Tony on the 14th Tee.
 Taken: June 2013

My husband is one of the most natural athletes I have ever met in my entire life. Me? Not so much but I'll never give up!

We're both still active in midlife, and this time of year my personal focus is golf. I should probably mention that though my husband “likes” golf... it's solely because his wife "likes" golf. He's a brilliant golfer, yet baseball remains his true passion.

Mid June my husband and I went away for our first romantic golf getaway in forever. We'd only golfed together once in a couple of years, and in all fairness I had purchased new clubs, and seen far more play than he had.

We were playing 18; we wanted to swim & sun in the afternoon and enjoy a fine dining experience that evening so I booked our tee time for 8:45 in the morning.

I played an exceptional front nine and we were neck and neck at the turn. Then, on twelve, my man got a case of the tee block shanks. By the 16th, he was inconsolable. And by the end of the round the score told the inevitable. We cleaned our cart, loaded our clubs, and headed back to the resort.

Great round and a really great weekend ♥
June: 2013

We spent the rest of the day by the pool playing Yahtzee, enjoyed our late dinner reservation, as a result staying up well past our normal bedtime. 

When we woke in the morning, he rolled over and gave me a hug and a kiss and said “... I am so sorry that I fell asleep on you last night...” 

“It’s okay” I said. “but was that because I beat you at golf yesterday?” As we roared with laughter, our day began and we packed for home. 

Hey, lemee tell ya something. I love a really great night of passion as much as the next gal, but winning at golf - fair and square - for the first time in almost three decades? 

A BAZILLION TIME BETTER!

Well, maybe not a BAZILLION... But really, really, really LOTS!

3 Bills & A Bilge Pump To Boot!

Bessie Bowrider arriving at her new home...
Taken: June 21,2013

I am kinda proud that I’ve never been a "stuff" person. I have never been in the habit of buying “stuff” I don’t need. However, in this instance, I am totally guilty of doing just that. What can I say? When it comes to my pups I spare no expense!

I should start by sharing that we have a boat. A waterski boat with 135hp Merc on the back. It’s far too much boat and motor for our lake and the Muskoka river infrastructure that accompanies it; but it too was a great deal, and purchased for my two legged children, not my furry four legged ones. 

Dottie & Bessie getting acquainted.
Taken: July 29th, 2013

This past winter, one of my blog mentors posted on Facebook that they had a small bowrider boat for sale: boat, motor, trailer and all fixings for three hundred bucks! She posted pics of her and her family enjoying old Bessie and I immediately bought her sight unseen.

Last weekend Tony and I took Bessie Bowrider to the Spa. Scrubbed her down and gave her a head to toe makeover. Pressure washed the covers, and placed her in the water for all to see.

She looks great for a mature woman and she runs like a well-oiled machine. Bottom line is we’re really lucky to have her.

I love our cottage. We have several kilometres of boating we enjoy. We have the ability to boat really fast around the lake, as well as putt along the river peacefully enjoying it's natural beauty. We have it all ten minutes from our home without a gigantic tax bill. Over the years people have had distinct opinions when they hear where our cottage is located, but their opinions are exactly that - theirs!

Bessie putting Puddin' to sleep!
Taken: July 1,2013

Honestly? Nine times out of ten I look at their legal site address and I bite my tongue. Not out of envy, but because I am dying to ask the multi million dollar question.

Is it paid for?

Just like Bessie Bowrider... The Peacock's Nest has three golden words in common with her.

PAID IN FULL! 

A Great Canadian Weekend

From the time I was a kid, Canada Day has always been something I've looked forward to and truly embrace celebrating.  Topping my personal leader board as my favourite statutory holiday, I am pleased to announce that this past weekend did not disappoint!

Nater, Staccs & Big D.
Missing? Gavin B.
Fireworks are over. Flip Cup Sing Along on deck!
Taken: LATE June 30th, 2013

Staci and her entourage arrived just in time for all the food that was waiting. A dozen strong, all were hungry and on a mission. We was ready!

I love being a Mom...

I know my role has changed a lot but I love the duty and cherish the title just the same. It never gets old.

Gavin B & with R
Taken: June 30th, 2013

With last weekend front of mind, I find it interesting how we have raised our children to embrace what we personally love most. In this instance/post, you may dismiss it as a National 'party at the cottage' excuse, but I can assure you that it's much bigger than that.

My children have been raised to know that this is our day. It celebrates the freedom we know as a country and the hope we have as a nation. It reinforces our desire for peace, and a respect for our natural resources and their amazing value. It celebrates our right to vote and gives us the ability to embrace our unconditional PRIDE. Canada Day reinforces to our children that they have a voice.

We, as Canadians, are known around the globe to be really great people. Our respect is earned because we are giving and gracious. On this specific holiday, every single one of us unconditionally stand a little taller, smile a little wider, and sing a little louder.... At least I know we do at The Peacock's Nest!

Happy Birthday Canada... 

"May our children teach their children to both embrace you and handle you with care. 

Let us pray that all others love you as you deserve to be loved forever and always."

~Rhondi St.Onge Peacock

Canada Day ~ Orillia Lake
Photo Credit: Jamie Peacock
Taken: July 1st, 2007

She Loves Me… She Loves Me Not.

She most definitely loved me.
I miss my Daisy Marie every single day...
Taken: June 23rd, 2013

I am sure it's purely a coincidence but You’ve Got Mail ranks right up there as one of my most watched movies of all time.

One of the most memorable scenes for me is when Tom Hanks goes to her apartment to bring her flowers and try to start anew. He brings her a bouquet of daisies. 

“Don’t you think daisies are the friendliest flower” she asks? For a number of very personal reasons, I couldn’t agree more.

I was about to tackle the lawn at the cottage (for the first time this season) last Sunday when I stood in amazement at my beautiful sea of daisies. I was in awe as I watched Dot wade through the white and yellow and green foliage. If there's one word I would use to describe our moment it would be peaceful. As I do in 99% of my ah-ha moments, I reached for my camera.

I've taken a bazillion pictures over the years but this one is truly very special. As I bent down I uttered the words "I love you Daisy Marie..." The bizarre thing is that Dot moved in to smell the flowers and literally held her pose. Once again, it was like the three of us were reunited. It's hard to believe that she left me over a year ago this month. It's even harder to believe is that she still preoccupies my thoughts.

June is a roller coaster month for me emotionally. So many highs to acknowledge and so many lows to revisit. As I snapped the pic, I was quickly reminded that June 23rd was the very last day I laughed with my father before he passed. Yet taking the photo, I wasn't even remotely sad.

With my glass half full, I instantly told myself that my beloved Daisy Marie didn't want me to spend the day alone. How silly is it that as I snapped the photo I could feel my father's hand touch my shoulder.

Truth be known? There were really four of us present in this very special moment...

June 24th, 2012? A Biggie For Me…

GOOB & Me at Actinolite
Taken: June 23th, 2012.

It was exactly a year ago yesterday that I sat outside the King Eddie Hotel in downtown Toronto sobbing as I prepared for my journey back to Muskoka. 

If I close my eyes I can see the bench I sat on that morning; I was outside a Starbucks, my eyes were damp, and I began to lean on a friend via BBM.

My memory of that very moment's vivid; it was a Sunday morning, and I felt totally lost and alone in my dark thoughts. 

My biggest problem? There wasn't a GPS nor flashlight anywhere in sight to help me find my way!

A year later I feel sorry for my poor David; in hindsight I was leaning on him far more than I should have. In retrospect, he valiantly carried me. I hadn’t been diagnosed as depressed, but 365 days after the fact, I am convinced that bothersome stray cat was scratching really hard at the screen door.

The only thing I didn’t do was fold like a lawn chair and let him in. You have no idea how easy it would have been to open the door and welcome the company. I wanted to. I just never did. I worked really hard every single day (for the next several months) so I wouldn't have to clean the litter box.

I am reflective for a couple of reasons tonight. Today is the first anniversary of one of my lowest points personally during a very trying time. I didn’t go to work yesterday. It wasn’t a vacation day, I called in sick. Not because I was feeling blue but the exact opposite. My driving need for a sense of accomplishment had me rendered completely exhausted.

I'm in a great place. Matter a fact, this summer I am going to hold myself accountable rather than look to those around me to blame for my being a bitch. Blame is nothing other than a lame excuse. That said, there are a very small handful of people in my life that need to just go away.

Departure isn't needed because I am mad or upset, but rather it's time to let go of the outside influence that breed self doubt. As bizarre as it sounds, I don’t want them to go away mad, I just want them to go away. As I resign myself to the reality at hand, I only have one other thing to say.

You know who you are...

Smartie Is Coming Home!

EVERYONE SAY HELLO TO BRIAN ♥
Taken: 2007

For a girl that's lucky to get one surprise a year, this past week officially delivered my 2013 ditty.

I can’t describe the excitement I felt yesterday when my very bestest friend in the whole wide world confirmed that he was making an unexpected trip from the Yukon (home to Ontario) in less than a month.

As I have said before, the 5,675 kilometres that separates us is insignificant; at the end of the day unconditional is exactly that, which is how I would describe our friendship. It works because we make it. We care. It's as simple as that. That said, this is the first summer visit since he's moved, that I am going to him instead of him coming to me in Muskoka.

Though he did live in Muskoka for almost 20 years, outside of me living here it really is no longer a focal point for him. His family vacations on an island in the Kawartha’s (which is where he’ll land after his meetings in Ottawa). As a result, I am going on a road trip.

I know our time together will pass crazy fast. We communicate in one form or another almost every single day, but there’s nothing like spending time together face to face. I enjoy hearing him laugh but seeing him laugh is the absolute best. The second best thing? Seeing his entire family. Close third? Fishing at dawn and not saying a single word to each other, just enjoying the one thing we rarely get to enjoy.

Each other’s company!...I can hardly wait!!!

Congratulations Auntie Cai!

My Auntie Cai is at the tippy top of the heap in my books. You know the type? She defines "the kind of person I want to be when I grow up!" Though I know she'll smile at my humour, she knows that I've always had an absolute respect for her from a very young age. 

My Auntie Cai at her 80th Birthday Party
Taken: November 2012

She’s 80 now, which makes no matter when it comes to her (because 80 is her new 60). I am proud to announce that she was just named the Lucile C. Jolette Volunteer of The Year, in the town where she has lived almost her entire life.

After reading the article that was written for her in the local newspaper I was moved. I can envision her accepting her award. She'd be humble for sure,  but I would hope she would have accepted her award with bells on.

She has the most amazing bells: dressed to the nine’s, she'd be wearing a smile that would score low as a twelve on a scale of one to ten. What can I say? She has a great spirit and this indescribable energy! 

She's smart, honest, fair, but most of all (growing up with a mother that was stringent) she's always been bat shit crazy fun. Don't get me wrong;  she'd  listen to your plight, hold you accountable for your crap, but always help you find the way. She'd help you understand the really hard journeys, and make you will yourself strong enough to take them. At least I know she did that for me.

I wish I could share the article written in her honour. It wraps up with “Cai is tenacious and faithful to causes to which she invests her time…” I am so very proud to be one of those causes. I am proud to admit that I've raised my kids the way she helped raise me; hands on, with honesty, support, and great lines of open communication. She showed me the way, and for that I am forever grateful.

Congratulations on being named Volunteer of the Year Auntie Cai. Just like your own, I love you very much.

Just Always Find A Way...

Make me laugh and we're golden.

Yesterday my very favourite client called to pick my brain; “I know it’ll only take me 45 seconds” he said, “but I value your opinion just the same”.  Laughing, I asked what he needed.

He’s a very successful downtown Toronto lawyer with a great place in Beaumaris. My other important notable? He could very well be Canada's Worst Handyman. 

Seriously, if I had a dime for every time he said "I could do the work myself but..." I would single handedly be able to pay his very expensive land tax bill!

Anyway, for the third summer in a row we’re doing work at his place. Low and behold, he called because he wants to do a renovation to his pool area. After talking about his options, we both agreed on what would look and work best.

So, after ten minutes of sarcastic banter, he finally confessed that he doesn’t really need the name of a contractor per say, he needs a favour. Kind of a “who can you have at my place to meet me this Saturday?” I agreed to call in a marker on one condition. I would make the call but stipulated  "he's my friend... so whatever you do... DON'T cheap him down!" I did use an ethic reference but you catch my drift.

All joking aside, I am so glad that I could help Dave by just picking up the phone. Glass half full? That Grant unconditionally offered to help me help Dave no questions asked.

Could it be that my energy feeds the brightness the others offer me?

I most certainly hope so... I really do most certainly hope so!

Happy 85th Birthday Hervé…

Morning coffee on the very last birthday he was alive to celebrate.
Taken: June 2005

Today is June the 9th and it's the day my father was born.

Hard to believe if he were alive he would be 85 years old today. 

What I find even harder to believe is that he left me eight years ago this June 23rd. 

Makes no matter the lapse of time, as I think of him every single day.

I remember absolutely everything about my dad; the sound of his voice, the look in his eyes when he smiled, most importantly the love that he had for life. His work ethic was one thing but his loyalty to his family and his friends was so unconditional it bordered indescribable.

To this very day he remains the voice inside my children`s head, my husband`s closest confidant, and the spirit inside me to never give up and never stop trying. I use to think that my personal success came from my mother pushing me at the rink all those years. It may have been part of the foundation, but as a mother and wife I know that all the finishing touches were a tag team effort.

I couldn`t have done it without my husbands support, and he couldn`t have carried the kids and I without my father`s love and support. A cold beer in the carport is sometimes all you need when you've got three screaming kids and a wife/daughter that's a total bitch. That right there is the God honest truth.

Happy 85th Birthday Dad.

We love and miss you very much. xoxox

My Friday Night Fix

My morning went off the rails quicker than Charlie Sheen in a crack house. I'm not joking. At every single turn, I found unwanted stress. Not just stub your toe kind of stress, but the big stuff that emotional tsunamis are made of.

"The Lord helps those that help themselves.." my mother always use to say. This time last year, I would have booked an appointment with my Chiropractor to ease my body's tension and stress; nowadays, my needs are very different, so I quickly put my thinking cap on. With tears flowing again after lunch, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I needed to call and book a room.

No one will ever know... I thought. It’s a Friday night in June, there will be no one around. I had this surge of adrenaline, then I closed the office door and made the call before I changed my mind. “I’d like to book a room for right after work” I said. “Are there any available?” They have my credit card on file so there was no need to register. (Who says a small town doesn't have its perks?)

When I arrived, they were extremely accommodating. "Your room is waiting” she said. I closed the door, took off my clothes and looked lovingly at my old and dear friend. I have never been so happy to be in another’s exclusive company in my entire life.

Once I was finished, I left completely satisfied and extremely content. Tonight made me see the light. So much so that on the way out the door and whispered "just so you know... I really do love you... very much.”

My 1st Friday Night Special
Taken: June 7/13

I wish I could have heard those very words uttered back. I have always longed to hear "I love you too"  but not a single word was said. As always, I turned out the lights, closed the door, and headed home. 

Kind of sad really. When will they invent a talking tanning bed that can unconditionally return my love?

What the hell were you thinking?

♪♫ ♪ Happy 21st Birthday You Two… ♫♪♫

I can’t believe it was 21 years ago tonight that I was lying in a hospital bed and my son Jamie was tugging at my arm saying “...come on Mommy, let’s just go home.” We’d prepared him for the fact that he was going to have a brother and sister, but it took the overnight separation (and two screaming newborns) to snap him into the reality at hand.

Yess-sir-ree! Twenty one years ago today our family was officially complete.

They arrived  two minutes apart. In a flash, two seven pound babies landed into my/our arms filling both our lives and our hearts. I hate to keep playing the time card, but where the hell did it go?

Where do I start? From the day they were born they were a team. One would cry, they'd both get fed. The other cranky, they'd both be amused. I swear from the minute they were born they had this cosmic plan. Silly or not after all these years, that early genetic chemistry is still very apparent today.

It’s eerily quiet night here tonight. It feels kind of weird. David and Tony are both working late and Thom took Staci out for a quiet dinner (because he knew that she was home alone with me). Yup, gone are the days of balloons and birthday cakes, not to mention hall rentals and kids puking from eating too many hot dogs. Too bad really... 

I am first to admit that I’ve led a sheltered life, but Staci & David birthday parties were always some very serious fun. Guess tonight is the end of an era. A day I never imagined would arrive.

NOT A CHANCE! I gotta pull all the stops out one last time this weekend. I know that they're 21 but I gotta have one last hurrah for Sweetie & Goob right? So the judge looks to the jury and Tony says... "ABSOLUTELY"!

Who says at 21 you're too old for a surprises? Happy Birthday you two. We love you very much.

Staci & Daviid's 18th Birthday - A good time was had by all.
Happy 21st Birthday. xoxoxoxo
Taken: June 5th 2010

Just Been One Of Them Thar Days

I’m not sure if it’s the crappy weather, or that I'm just over tired; but I was genuinely off my stride today. I suppose it could be something as simple as the barometric pressure but I’m not entirely sure. 

Part of my problem was I was awake this morning before six and (no matter how hard I tried) I couldn’t get back to sleep. I tried a movie, I tried a warm cup of water with lemon, I tried counting sheep, nothing worked. 

Serioulsy... This is how I've felt all day.

It’s literally been forever since I have felt funk instead of fab at the cottage; as a result, I just packed ‘er up, and headed for home.

The change of scenery of arriving home? Didn't help.

A relaxing hour long phone conversation this aft, a yummy Sunday dinner, an extra long tranquil bubble bath?

Not a single stinkin' solitary stitch of improvement!

What can I say, with the day almost behind me, I have very little idea why my day has presented itself as a glass half empty. Guess I'll need to think about it. Boy I hate that specific string of  words. They always seem to offer me far more trouble than they're worth.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. As I grumble and slip into my jammies, I suppose I have to resign myself to the fact that I just absolutely hate the unknown. I can't stand when there’s something I can’t figure out. Kinda pisses me off actually!

Just sayin’

Pot Of Gold Anyone?

My photo does not do this perfect moment justice.
Taken: May 31, 2013

As I do every Friday, I had planned to golf last night. That said, Mother Nature had a different plan. As a result, I bolted out to the cottage like lightening ahead of The Weather Networks warning of it.

As I poured myself a glass of wine the sky opened and the mother-load hit; I love a good storm, and with no lighting on the radar, I stood in the rain and kept Puddin’ fetching a tennis ball in and out of the lake.

What can I say, Dottie would participate in no such nonsense, so after dinner, it was Dot’s turn for a treat.

...Out we went in her favourite boat that floats.

The lake was like glass. The bugs were at bay, and we were all alone. Peddling along, and singing out loud to my pups, I glanced over to find this breathtaking site.

I instantly began sending it to friends that can relate. People that work with people for a living, and strive every single day to encompass a “glass half full” mindset. One friend instantly responded with the obvious question.

"Did you find the pot of gold?" he asked. "Not yet" I said. "But I feel there's hope."

His response both warmed my heart and made me smile.

"I agree..." was all I read. 

Frick 'n Frack Are Back!

Though she was in a hurry, I did manage to chat with Staci before she left for a typical seasonal Monday night in Muskoka. Yup, Frick 'n Frack and the gang were off to get into mischief. It really is kinda neat that after all these years they're still such a very close group. Public School, High School, Post-Secondary school behind them, their gang is still a pack: Tightly knit and fiercely loyal.

Anyway, after a good night sleep, I awoke and headed down to my office to greet my day. When I logged onto my Facebook, my heart dropped; “Bitch who pushed me off the stage and broke my wrist... f*ck you!!!!”

Frick n' Frack before Grade 9 Spring Formal - My Babies.
Taken: April 2008

I knew they'd taken the bus to The Kee to Bala for Resort Night, but could this be true?

Without a word of a lie, here was my immediate thought process.

1) Holy shit! She’s broken her wrist!

2) Where the hell was David and the Gang?

3) Nice Facebook status update Stacccs; enough with the F-Bombs already!

Seriously? WTF! I have no idea where she gets it?! I'm pretty sure it's her father but the jury is still out.

Joking aside, one sling and a cast later, here's the story. It turns out Frick was being accosted (punched in the face repeatedly) on the dancefloor. Frack decided that Frick needed her uncondtional "you can't punch my brother in the face" support and stepped in. As Frick caught his bearings, Frack stepped back. Pushed from behind, my Sweetie (I mean Frack) landed with all her weight on her wrist on the concrete floor five feet below. 

Was there alcohol involved? Were there Police involved? Was a lesson learned? Has it been discussed? The answer to all of the above is yes. What can I say? Frick 'n Frack are back for the summer and the game has changed. Glass half full? We can finally discuss all of these life changing things as adults. 

For the record? She really was very brave. Just sayin'

Trust Is Earned

Boy, this past weekend blew by. I worked on Saturday morning; then my husband and I did our house chores that afternoon. I spent all day Sunday outside. My man was kind enough to do the groceries so that I didn’t have to leave the yard.

I love a day when I feel like I get a lot accomplished. You know those types of days, where the only thing you do is wash your face, brush your teeth, and dig out the ugliest clothes you can find. I blissfully embrace any day that I don’t have to get all gussied up. If I had things my way, everyday would be dress down day!

Out on the lake Easter Weekend
Taken: March 30st, 2013

All of that said, my post isn’t on the topic of vanity. My mood is more spiritual.

What makes some people extremely compatible? 

Why is it after all these years he and I have stood the test of time? 

Is it that there's just so much history it's comfortable? I believe it's much bigger than that.

It's been a rough couple of years. Have we had our ups and downs in the non-conjugal sense? Absolutely! Have we sat across from one and other (in tears) worried that we’d never fix what together we’d broken? Yes we have. Has it been worth all of our hard work to arrive at today?  Hell ya!!

When did I know we'd never be apart? It was this past January 22nd. An unexpected incident rocked me to my very core. I was so upset I was almost crippled. I missed work and I completely shut down. It shattered me emotionally.

During that time, like he had before, he carried me. He wrapped his arms around me and wiped away my tears. My heartbreak instantly became ours, and we got through it together.

Why am I so reflective tonight?

The January incident landed on the front burner at work again today. This time I was ready for it. Proving once again that the only person in my life I truly trust is my husband. What can I say? Trust is earned. 

Oh, and let's not forget the other thing today reminded me never to forget...

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!

My Silly Little Hang Up

So it happened again.

“WOW, you don’t look 48” a business colleague said. Jerk!

Do men not realize that age may be a sensitive subject for some women? I don’t know about other women but for this cat, it’s like entering the sketchiest area of Detroit during a riot. 

DON'T go there!

Just like 99.9% of the people I know, I have a couple of quirky hang ups. I hate being late, I hate not having a plan, and I hate that I am getting old (them right thar are pretty much my top three)! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking Services Ontario for a wheelchair parking sticker anytime soon, but I would love not to have to dye my hair EVER again.

I am of the firm opinion that age is a mindset; you’re only as old as you feel, and as young as your imagination will allow. It’s a number, not a gauge of who I am.  I am active in both mind and body, and I don’t see either of 'em stopping anytime soon. Why would they? Why should they?

What did I say to the person that assessed who I was based on the number 48? “It’s been nice meeting you. You’re 45 right?... Ya don’t look a day over 58 1/2. Oh, and the deliveries? They are at the rear!”

That’s what I wanted to say. Instead, I just turned down his very generous lunch invitation. The loss is his.

What can I say? Us gray haired mamas gotta have some very high standards!

Your Name Was What?

I generally may sound all “get up in your grill” and crap, but I am realistically pretty fragile. Though I would never classify myself as insecure, I do tend to second guess myself when people make unnecessarily cruel comments. 

My point? I HATE MEAN PEOPLE.

PLEASE...
An ass has a purpose!!

When it comes to these folks, the only squint of rationalization I can come up with is; that mean people have no idea they are being mean.

Trust me, I've tried to gently point it out, but the only serious flaws they'll ever see are yours. So, how does one spot a classic mean person?

They'll always play the “I honestly don't have a clue what you’re talking about" card. Which is nothing more than sheer justification of their treatment of you in their own mind.

At the end of the day, I only have two words for those types of overbearing and smothering peeps. 

Shut the hell up and MOVE ON!

OK, that was seven, but you my gist.

What can I say? My apologies. Mean people drive me crazy, not to mention make me all frizzled and frazzled inside.

Just Meant To Be...

I wandered up the cottage stairs at dawn this morn in a great mood. Turns out I had experienced one of the best weekends at the cottage ever. The weather was magnifique (not to mention the company) and for the first time in years, it feels like I'm starting this crazy six month season well rested. Well rested and surrounded by some amazing energy.

As a result driven individual, I know first hand that I can be my own worst enemy. It’s not that I want to dwell on the fact that the sky is falling – I just can’t help but focus on when the hell it will. I push harder, only to find I worry more. Some may label me neurotic: I prefer quirky (with a splash of charm folded in for good measure).

I knew something in my life had to shift and it did. A random phone call to remind a colleague that “coffee's for closers” and that they needed to "buy me a cup, pot, Tim Horton's franchise" completely changed my outlook and long term focus.

"You're awesome"...
"No! You're awesome!!"

I know it's human nature for you to read this and wonder who the hell I am talking about but it makes no matter. They know who they are, and they know I think they are absolutely awesome.

Just like me, they have the odd day where they think they may want to run for the hills and the closest lawn tractor, but I'm here to remind them that it's not an option!

From that very first cup of coffee, I knew we'd met for a reason. Moving forward, they need to make sure they never lose sight of a couple of things (Cole's Note version & in no particular order):

A) We are going to kick some very serious ass.

B) We will always promise to use our energy for good and never evil....and

C) We are going to remain humble as we tell everyone "I told you so".

Hang in there my friend. Tomorrow is another day. Why? Because we freakin' rock!

...Not to mention that we're totally awesome!!

Today I Wept ~ By Ellyse Murphy

 (c) Ellyse Murphy
All copyrights reserved

Today I wept. 

I wept for a stranger. I wept for a family. I wept for a nation. I wept for this world.

I have been anxiously checking updates daily, it’s consumed almost every conversation I’ve had and it hasn’t left my mind. Today, the update came – with great sadness. My heart fell, tears fell, I felt empty. I don’t know this man, I don’t know his family, I don’t even know somebody who knows somebody who knows him but I have a father; to grow up knowing I wouldn’t get to know my father because someone wanted a truck, would be devastating beyond words. I have a fiancé; to lose him because someone wanted a thrill, would break me in half. I have uncles, brothers and friends; to lose any one of them in this way is unimaginable. And so, I wept. 

I can’t count the number of items I have sold on Kijiji. I have found many jobs and hired many people from ads on Kijiji. I have been in people’s homes, met in central locations and had people in my home. I have test driven cars and sold cars. Tim’s story is everyone’s story – we trust. 

Today, I question God. We all wonder what kind of world we live in that a man could be taken this way. It’s okay to be angry with God. Your anger will make your relationship stronger. He will guide you through. Often, right before God gives us something, he puts us through hardship. For the Bosma family, this is one of the biggest hardships you’ll know. Today you will weep, tomorrow you will weep, you very well might weep every day for the rest of your life – a piece of you was killed when your husband, father, son, uncle, friend was killed. But, one day, you will find your greatest moment of strength and you will move forward for Tim, you will find a way to honour him, find a way to prevent this from happening again, find a way to make meaning; you will find your way. 

To the media, I would ask that you report on Tim. Report about his life, his accomplishments, his family, his friends, the people who have prayed for him. STOP reporting on the suspects. I’m tired of turning on Google and finding stories about such a promising man in aviation, a humble man, a quiet and reserved man. I don’t want to read one more fact about him. I won’t speak for the family but I can’t imagine it helps them either. There is one question they want answered: why? This doesn’t require pages and pages of details on this man, your reporting is speculation. I don’t care if he was an aviation prodigy – today he is a monster. 

To the men who took Timothy Bosma, I have this to say: You have broken a family. You have killed the dreams of a wife and a little girl. You have crushed a mother. His family mourns his loss but do not be mistaken, they are not alone. 41,855 on Facebook alone, have found a way to be there for the family – some sent prayers, some sent love, some called the tip lines, some posted flyers, some talked to everyone they knew about Tim, some were the reason you’ve been caught. People from across the globe are pouring out their love and compassion for this man and his family. 

You are but two men. We won’t focus on you because we cannot. We cannot allow ourselves to be consumed with all that is wrong with the world. I saw 41,855 reasons that you don’t matter. 

Let us remember – just when the caterpillar thought life was over, he became a butterfly. 

Timothy Bosma – Gone but not forgotten.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Last night was my Class of 1983 High School reunion. It’s not like it was some well thought out highfalutin Gala, it was planned via Facebook out of Raleigh North Carolina. There was never an expectation that thousands would land in droves; which is a good thing, because this is a really small town.

Don’t kid yourself. We had a blast. My feet are still sore today. We laughed, we sang, and we reminisced. The local paper showed up to take our picture, and a great time was had by all. A humongous hug and kiss to our dear friend Doug for all his efforts. Without his driving force, it would have never happened. 

As I sit here after the fact, I am unexpectedly reflective. On just how life is continually evolving, then in an instant you can be in the comfort of company you had no idea that you'd sincerely missed. That said, the big ah-ha for me last night was the lapse of time.

I don’t feel like it all happened to us thirty years ago but it did. I saw people I see in town once a week, and I hugged people that I thought for sure wouldn't remember my name. I got BBM messages this morning from people that had to work today, not to mention an email from someone asking me to go to tea in two weeks. Last night felt like time had stood still. 

That's Tina in the back with me.
Linda owns the amazing blue eyes and
Connie the great smile.
Tammy & Belinda - you were really missed!

Taken: May 11th, 2013

I honestly hadn’t seen Tina in thirty years. Watching her and Linda get Connie cranked up was like I was in a time warp.

I had some serious tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard! Poor Connie.

My added bonus for her? Connie and I promised each other we would “dance our asses off” and we did!

Sorry folks; I have to stop typing now and go find my ass.

Nope, not Tony. Nope, not Connie. My other ass. The one attached to my very tired legs & equally exhausted feet!

PS: I promise to post the group pic once I get a copy from my friend Bev. Cheers!

“Here Honey… Hold This Sign!”

What can I say? I have been blessed with a wicked sense of humour. Today, I would like to officially go on record with the fact that so has my husband. I really do love to laugh, and 9 times out of 10 he’s the one that's bending me over. Seriously? Get your minds out of the gutter!

As you know, I always have a camera with me, it's an extension of who I am. Last month when we were shopping together in a knick-knack shop, I came across a very unique sign. With a very straight face (and little emotion) I handed it to him then immediately held up my phone to snap this pic. 

What can I say other than... Isn't this a great sign?
Taken: April 2013

“Here Honey… Hold this sign” I said in my very best sex kitten voice. 

"Now SMILE..." I added.

Suffice is to say that after 25 years of marriage he did exactly what I asked. 

I quickly snapped the picture then totally busted a gut laughing! 

Seriously, I know my sense of humour is sick at times, but this is just bat shit freakin' funny! Best part? His immediately requested me to email it to him so that he could share my joke with his buddy Al.

Thank you Tony. I had forgotten what a fun day this was until you showed Doug this pic on your phone last night. I love that you totally still get me after all of these years. By the way, nice smile!

I Think I Can? I Know I Can!

What a week. I am buried in paperwork and dreaming of the sunshine. I have a million things on my mind, and two million things to accomplish. What can I say? All it takes is a State of Emergency in our neck of the woods to get things rolling.

Managed to get the cottage opened this week and I am heading to my very favourite place by precisely 1:01pm today. Let see, other good news? I have made the executive decision to move in for the season the long weekend in May rather than wait until Canada Day. 

I am hoping to get some of the long overdue maintenance items crossed off my list. There are things I want to undertake on my own. Tony would help me, but I have asked that he to let me try and do the stuff on my own. He has agreed.

I'll be soaking in this puppy
by Labour Day!
Taken: May 2000

I can’t help but be excited about my extended stay this summer. I had so much to discover last year, and this year I have so much to accomplish. Even though it’s been a very difficult week, I have managed to start my list of "things to do" just the same. If I time it right, I should be able to get everything done before the leaves change colour two seasons from now.

What’s the one decision I’ve made that surprises me the most? I am going to fold like a lawn chair and finally get internet access out there. 

Not because I would be lost without it, but because I have to rip apart the ceiling below the upstairs bathtub (and repair a broken pipe) as well as refinish a very old aluminium bathtub.

...and how the heck will the internet help?

I’ll be damned if I am going to start ripping off rough sawn pine and tearing apart a bathroom without Google to help me put it back together!

Don't be silly. I was born at night. Just not last night!!

Z Is For... ZEST

I have always embraced the zest element in my life. What can I say, my favourite colour is red and I truly am a passionate person. I am first to to put up my hand to admit - I work hard, plays hard,  and follow a very simple life platform. 

Laughter is the ignition switch and sarcasm the fuel. I am drawn to like-minded people (particularly if they can keep up with me) and I whole heartily embrace them. Though I can lead blindfolded, I love fun. It's how I roll.

Yesterday I posted that I wish I could have been free to be me. One of my newer readers commented “all those things in the past, made you who you are today” and I realized that she’s absolutely right. I really am simple. I am just simply ME. Great heart, fun loving, amazing dental plan, and a solid inner zest!

April 30th, 2013 - ZEST
Taken: March 30/13

CHEERS & THANKS FOR READING!

I'm kidding (though dental hygiene is key). The truth of the matter is, if you give off that specific "zestful" energy, with the right connection, you will always get it back in spades.

Like mindedness gravitates to like mindedness. Get it? "We have unmistakable like minded ZESTness!" Okay, that was lame.

That right there tells me maybe my word should have been ZERO. Which is the number of posts I have to complete to finish this blogging challenge. 

Oh my goodness I did it. I can't believe it.

I say we pour me a glass of wine! Better yet? How about we give me a great big hug!

Zest or no zest, this exercise was exhausting, and gosh darn it... I have absolutely and unequivocally earned both!!!

Y Is For... YESTERDAY

Oh, the double edged sword. I’m the first to admit you can never go back; but if you could, what’s the one thing that you would change? I realize it’s an unrealistic question but deep down inside, I would be surprised if you said absolutely nothing.

April 29th, 2013 - YESTERDAY
Taken: April 1977

If I was being completely honest with myself, there are a few things in the last thirty plus years I would have done differently. Some apply to my immediate family, some apply to me intimately as a person, and some even apply to my married life.

I have spent my entire life as a driving force for everyone else; fiercely competitive with a core focus on progress and success. 

As a person never wanting to stop moving forward, I can’t believe that in this very moment I am thinking about what could have been.

It’s not because I am feeling especially reflective, it's just the word itself planted the seed. As soon as I chose 'yesterday', my imagination literally ran. 

My childhood, sports, teen years, discipline, marriage, small children, grown children, career; the reaction was swift. That said, I am going to go there just the same. 

If I could venture to any given yesterday what's the one thing I would change? It's more of a wish really.

I simply would have been free to be ME.

X Is For... X-CELLENCE

I know, I know, it's not a word but I don't have one (nor do I have the slightest hankerin' to ask for help). That said, there really is a point to my unconventional choice. 

I've had a pretty amazing month of April. The winter has had challenges (both personally and professionally) but I am pleased to report that I made it. I have a great tan, I'm completely rested, and I made it! Well rested aside, just when I was convinced that everything was copacetic, I get another curve ball. It happened yesterday afternoon and it was in the form of an email.

I immediately forwarded it to my friend Zack and asked the obvious question. "Do you think this was sent to be cruel?" It was from someone that's never really been a part of my inner circle, but they'd been corresponding with someone that use to be (and that person had really hurt me professionally). 

Zack's response was not only bang on, as an added bonus it was crazy comical. It made me laugh, and a day later I realize he's right. He's been right about the person for months & months, but it took the event yesterday for me to see it from his perspective.

April 27th, 2013 - Xcellence
Rhondi & Zack ROCK!

As I sit in crappy Super 8 in the middle of Pennsylvania, I have a couple of things to look forward to in my very immediate future:

1) Tomorrow I get to rest my A-Z.

2) I am less than 500 miles away from getting the hell out of this crowded (dog lovin') vehicle.

3) In less than 24 hours I will be sleeping in my very own bed again and...

4) I have a Monday lunch date with my buddy Zack! (I haven't seen him since Cottage Life so it's time.)

I Love You Man. Why? Basic math dude.

YOU + ME ='s  X-cellence...

  Friendship X-cellence!  

W Is For... WALKABOUT

Sun, just like water and fire, have my unconditional respect. All three are extremely dangerous when taken for granted. It was evident night before last around 7pm when the effects of the hypnotic power of the UV rays bouncing off the Atlantic had been ignored all day.

Both my daughter and my sister had suffered a terrible burn the first day in the wind. My sunscreen kept me free from harm yet I was a little bummed that I hadn't really tanned. Each day brought weather challenges but the day before yesterday was absolutely perfect and my skin was more protected than any condom commercial ever produced.

Out and about early, I ventured about a mile up the beach, and swam in the ocean most of the day. My daughter was cautious so that her skin could heal but my sister was another story. Miss "my skin needs to burn before I can get a tan" needed an Olympic size swimming pool of aloe and a bottle of Advil to fall asleep night before last. Man, her skin made fire engine red look pink!

April 26th, 2013 - WALKABOUT
Wailing for the SkyWheel to start. Amazing!
Taken: April 25/13

With an overcast day in the weather forecast, our plan yesterday was to head to the Hub for a walkabout.  

Staci and I wanted to walk the Pier and take in the large Ferris wheel that had caught our attention  last Christmas.

We enjoyed a fun lunch then fed our parking meter just north of Ocean Blvd. We walked and talked heading to our first stop which was the landmark SkyWheel. After five rotations we headed to the Pier, took some great pictures, then shopped until we dropped.

The only downside? Though our walkabout was amazing, when we got back to the house, Puddin' and Dot had been into mischief. In the middle of the living room was our jar of peanut butter open, with about a third of it gone.

In shock my sister yells "how the hell did she get that off the shelf it was on in the pantry"? My response was the immediate and obvious. "She stood on Dottie's back!" 

"How did they get it open" she continued. Staci didn't miss a beat, "by using their thumbs silly!" 

That's MY GIRL! Why? Because life is short... Ya Gotta Laugh About It. 

As promised, this one's for you Brian Morrison. This one's for you!