Q IS FOR QUESTION

Q: WHY IS COMMON SENSE NOT SO COMMON?

A:

P IS FOR PEDAL BOAT

Closing up the Cottage... as well as a Chapter
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2012

In the summer of 2005, I was leading the Marketing efforts for a large land development on the Lake of Bays. 

As the bulldozers began to tear down the old resort, I asked if I could buy one of the 5-Seat Pedal boats they were anxious to get rid of. The entire lot were already well worn, yet I still made my difficult choice.

Though a real beauty in my eyes, my girl was anything but attractive. She’d been tattooed with silly goofy stickers all over her ass end but I didn’t care. She needed a home and her asking price was right. I don’t know about you, but for me, FREE, made us a perfect long term match!

From the get go she never steered very well (which I suspect was her eyesight) and her innards made a terrible grinding noise as she moved forward (which I have to think may have been an intolerance to algae). Without a single complaint, she provided tons of hours and summers of fun!

As the kids moved on, the pups and I took her over. When I lived at the cottage the summer of 2012, I exercised her every single day. Sometimes at dawn, sometimes to catch the high noon sun, but mostly to watch the sunset. She experienced my tears, my anger, my laughter, not to mention some of my really terrible singing!

How crazy is it that I'll admit that the only two that really know how I survived my midlife crisis is my computer keyboard and this amazing pedal boat?

I may have to sneak Christian Grey in there as a close third... But that's another post!

Thanks for the memories GIRLFRIEND!!

TAKEN: 2005 - 2013

O IS FOR OBJECTIVITY

I believe as people age and accumulate more life experiences, their true sense of who they are and what they want tightens. At the risk of sounding corny, I feel every life experience, no matter how small, becomes a part of who we are. Which is why, it takes a combination of both time and experience, to become objective and develop a compass for perspective.

Professionally, objectivity has never been an issue for me. I’ll lobby for my beliefs, but at the end of the day, it’s the person that I am reporting too that signs my paycheck. So, being objective has always been, pretty much a no brainer. Unless of course, it effected my personal well being.

The opposite side, to the ease of that slope, is how I have to dig deep to find that same fairness toward a situation, when it comes to my husband, my children, my dogs (hell, any/all dogs) or our home. I’m sure it has something to do with the need to nurture and protect but that's not my point.

Their bond is so very strong and powerful. It's amazing to witness.
TAKEN: AUGUST 2007 

My daughter is going through one of the toughest challenges that she’s faced in her life to date. 

As a family, we've all unconditionally rallied to her support, but that still doesn't change the shitty situation at hand. Which is, it involves a person... that we all want to shake the living snot right out of! 

Verrrry... Slowly... Enters ...OBJECTIVITY. 

I’m proud that it’s me that has taken the lead on this one. I've never been this calm, which tells me I'm still evolving. My husband and she are so fiercely close, that some days I feel that he is taking this as hard as she is. Her brothers, the same. Each have a different resolution in mind, but none will help our daughter heal any quicker. Which goes back to my opening ramble.

It’s been my personal experience that one can only gain objectivity from a series of life changing events. The sad part is, the ones we learn the most from?

…Friggin’ SUCK experiencing!

N IS FOR NAUGHTY

How do you know your wife is dead? The sex is the same… but the dishes start to pile up!

All I can say is, it’s a good thing I have my dishwasher on a timer. My husband does them at the same time every night, so he won’t notice I’m gone for months! ….Ba-Dumb-Bum!

Seriously? I love to laugh and there's usually naughty sarcasm attached just for fun.

There's a small handful of people I've met that can keep up with my warped pace. So, it's not very often I'm caught off guard. Truth is, my husband has always been my best sparring partner.

A while back he landed home in good spirits and decided to make an announcement... “Honey… Guess what I want tonight?”

Preoccupied, I rolled my eyes and asked ..."What?”

“I want some BUSCH...!" 

In that exact moment, he held up a six pack of American beer over his head and we both roared with laughter. Just like that, I was instantly pummeled into naughty thought submission. What can I say, there really is nothing better than laughter, to ease my mind...

Well, there is,  but I never registered for adult content, so we'll just leave it at that!

M IS FOR MENOPAUSE

I read somewhere that the first sign of menopause is a broken thermostat. 

Could that be why my hydro bills are through the roof? Just my luck, not only are they over billing me for my hydro, the jerks have placed a delivery charge on my hot flashes… DAFT PRICKS!

Over and over, since I began writing this silly blog, I have conceded that nothing could have ever prepared me for midlife. 

As I struggled to pick my M word, I discovered that there are a lot of life changing words for women starting with the letter M (and they are kind of chronological).

Words like menstruation, marriage, motherhood, midlife and menopause, all fall in cycle, surrounded by another M word... MEN.

Which leads us to the most famous ‘Mmm-Mmm’ reason why 99% of all women my age buy copious amounts of high test Duracell battery stock…. 

MONEY MANAGEMENT!

What the hell were you thinking?

L IS FOR LIFE LESSONS

I honestly believe that if I threw my life problems into a heap with everyone else’s that I’d quickly scramble to get mine back. Not because I wouldn't have preferred to get rid of the entire lot of hooey… but because surrounded by the mound of everyone else's problems, mine would seem pretty insignificant.

The point of my story? Life lessons are labelled exactly that because they are LESSONS. You either learn from them, or you don’t.

What may seem like a boulder in front of you (stopping you from moving forward) may really only be a simple pebble in your shoe. Draw on the lessons you've learned. Use those lessons to help you push through every single dilemma and keep moving forward.

That last bit of advice is based on personal experience. Though it may seem simple, Life Lessons are very tricky. Some offer relief, as if you've only scraped your knees. Some feel as though they've truly broken your heart and spirit; while others, bring and offer wonderful opportunity. 

I'm a simple gal, that was lucky to marry a man that makes me laugh. As a result, I greet each new day, with the hope that it teaches me another life lesson and today did exactly that.

LIFE LESSON 957: ALWAYS... BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE (which I had).

Then, my husband stopped home about 11am because he'd worn odd shoes to work. Sad part? One was a boot!

Life Lesson Averted... Laughter Inserted!!!

Ya Gotta Laugh About It...

K IS FOR KIDDIES

Twenty five years ago next month, I was told by our family physician that the rabbit had died and we were to expect a delivery from the stork the following February. I’ll admit that the pregnancy wasn't planned and unexpectedly becoming a first time mother, was the largest learning curve I ever recall enduring.

Then, a little over two years later, two more seven-pounders arrived, just about two minutes apart. Their names had been chosen prior but once we officially met them, we had to go back to the bazillion baby names we’d already discounted.

I remember those first few days fondly. I remember the look on Jamie’s face the first time they met and how he confidently turned down the hospital bedding saying…“Let’s go Mommy… It’s time to go home!”

Hopping the bus to MMO for their first day of school.
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 3rd, 2002

As I look at my photo of their first day of school in 2002, I can't help but wonder (yet again) where the time has gone.

Right or wrong, we always ran a very tight ship. So, it's only natural that I'd struggle with being downsized. No handbook prepares you for midlife... NONE!

If I'm being honest with myself, I'd have to admit that it's our current transition that has been the most comforting. 

We've all moved onto the next phase of our lives, which in itself, is another exciting time. As a parent, I find it comforting that though they may have officially closed their ears to our advice, they have officially opened their eyes to our example. 

Every single tool we have, we have given.

So, something tells me, if they follow that compass...They'll all be just fine!

J IS FOR JAMAICA

For the second day in a row, I got to eat my lunch out in the sun. Hell, the UV rays were so spot on, that at high noon, when I opened our front door and sat on the sill, the aluminum was heated enough that my butt got very roasty n' toasty. 

I kid you not… I truly had one hot piece of ass at lunch today!

In keeping with that thought process, I find it hard to believe that we returned from Jamaica a little over a month ago. It feels like it's been a little over a year. Yet, instead of complaining, I’ll just count my blessings. I’m pretty sure I would have jumped off the bridge downtown by now had I not gotten on a plane this past winter.

Ah.... the memories. Jamaica is always a great idea!
SELFIE TAKEN: MARCH 1st, 2014

As I start to fill up my empty piggy bank for February 2015, Jamaica is on my mind.

I know it’s more expensive than a lot of other destinations in the Caribbean but once you arrive it truly is amazing.

We were there in 2012 and again this past winter and from the time we climbed into bed that very first night, we talked about returning a third time.

I love their culture and that the country (in general) love Canadians. There's no language barrier and for a very picky eater there's lots of flavours I truly enjoy. But, the one thing I love most about Jamaica is their attention to safe drinking water. The bottled water you drink comes from a Jamaican filtration plant and you can drink the water right out of the tap with confidence.

Seeing as I won't have a moments peace until our 2015 jaunt (out of the harsh Canadian winter) is booked, I have to ask. What's best winter holiday you've ever taken? 

I promise I'll report back. Because together, we'll leave no great Expedia deal unturned!!

YEEE-HAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

I IS FOR IDEA

IDEA?
There really is no such thing as a bad one.

What is the IMPACT of a great IDEA being executed?
... Sheer INSPIRATION!

H IS FOR HANDSOME

Over the years, because of the industries I've worked in, I've worked alongside far more men than women. I've worked with the odd Herb Tarlek, a ton of Les Nessmans' and only one Johnny Fever. Oh, there’s been the whole bunch of ‘God’s gift to Women’ men, which I willingly admit are the absolute worst.

I remember one such idiot about fifteen years ago. He always made a point of sitting next to me. Then, in this particular Board meeting, he made his move. Without warning, he took a deep breath and whispered into my ear “you smell amazing.” To which I quickly locked my eyes with his, approached his personal space bubble and whispered into his ear… “I don’t do charity work.” Mission accomplished: he never bothered me again!

I guess my point is that someone that's typically defined as good looking by society, doesn't automatically make them handsome in my books. A truly handsome man is the complete package. Not only in how they treat women (both socially and professionally) but that how they outwardly appear, only scratches the surface of what’s on the inside.

I am so blessed to have some truly handsome men in my life. My husband, my boys, (Michael, Timmy, Zack) are all at the top on the top of my heap. However, the most handsome man to ever enter my life, left before his time, in 2005. 

My Dad & I soaking up the sun.
TAKEN: SPRING 1967

Athletic by nature, he was fiercely intelligent;  he had charisma and a great sense of humour, as well as a very true love of people. 

He was caring, giving, with a heart so big I am surprised it didn't burst from sheer goodness before it stopped beating on its own.

My late father Herve was the most handsome man I’ve ever met and suspect I ever will.

He WAS the complete package. Not only was he handsome, he was my friend.

...and I miss him every single day.

G IS FOR GOOD n’ GRAY

The Ole Gray Mare, she ain't what she use to be...
OR so you may think!
TAKEN: April 2014

When I started preparing the sauce for dinner this evening, my son walked into the kitchen and said, “Whoa there Mama… You really need to dye your hair!” 

Not wanting to suppress his extremely keen sense of observation (forever embracing the fact that we are cleverly disguised as a normal family) I smiled and reinforced the obvious.

“No shit, Sherlock!” was all I said.

My hair started to go gray shortly after I gave birth to the twins over twenty years ago. It started with the odd lone white curly cue sprig, that would pop up on the crown of my head. Then, before long, it became readily noticeable that I was in need of colourful help.

For the last year or so, I've debated what to do. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that the stress of the last few years has thinned my locks but that doesn't mean I want to throw in the towel and shave my head.

Some advise me to just let it go white and embrace its magnificent hue and my curls; guess I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that. I do tire of the tri-weekly ritual of doing my roots but at this stage I am getting pretty efficient at it. I guess I'll just continue with the status quo, staying far away from harsh chemicals, as well as a brush and comb.

At the end of the day, I don't see my gray hair as a hindrance, I see it as a reward for finally embracing who I am. What can I say, change is exactly that... CHANGE. You either embrace it or you don't.

I may be good and gray but when it comes to my overall outlook the math is a 95/5 split.

95% GOOD n' 5% GRAY!

F IS FOR FINALLY

I’m not a superstitious person by nature but today is April the 7th and I almost gave my chosen word a second thought for fear of jinxing my optimism as well as the long range forecast.

For the last couple days, the mercury has risen above zero and the sun is starting to finally melt the godforsaken snow. I am pleased to report that we hit our expected high of 9C here today (that's a balmy 48F for all of my American friends). So, it's with some serious trepidation, I admit I have some hope.

Hope, that the snow might finally be gone, before May the first!

Havin' a beer and finally catching some rays!
TAKEN: April 6th, 2014

Just to prove that I'm not feeding you a line of bull, I snapped my husband's picture around three o'clock yesterday afternoon. 

As we finished our weekend chores, we decided to soak up a bit of the sun. 

Thanks to a lot of elbow grease, our front deck had been rid of ice and snow since last weekend. I had prepared myself for my husband to rant, telling me the sun would eventually melt it. Then, verbalizing my passionate rebuttal, explaining why I'd finally had enough. 

Every year I do the rid the ice exercise (both here and at our cottage) and every year my husband tells me 'I need to get my head examined...' Actually, every year, before this year.

This year, he grabbed a shovel and helped move the large pieces of ice and snow, as I hammered them loose with the back of a splitting ax.

I guess you can say, for the first year ever... He'd FINALLY had enough!

E IS FOR ESCAPE

I am willing to bet money, that if I asked two hundred people (100 I knew and a 100 I didn't) if they ever felt the need to escape from their everyday life, one hundred and ninety eight would say YES. My best guess would be that the two undecided would be women.

I'd also bet, that those same two women would have to ask me to repeat my question.Why? Because they’d have been too busy talking to each other (about the need to escape from their everyday lives) that they would have completely missed my question being asked!

MY PERFECT ESCAPE.
A beach, a book & a camera.
Taken: March 2012

Let’s face it. Before your mind races to the negative, every person has a unique idea of what their personal ‘escape’ might be. 

For me, I lean on time alone. A great book, a movie in bed, or a long walk whilst singing my very favourite songs aloud.

In many ways, this silly blog is probably my most frequented escape.

Yet, my latest escape actually happened this morning. I unexpectedly headed to the laundry mat and I didn’t know a single soul in a town where I thought I knew everyone. I loved the sound of the water swishing around in the washing machines and rumble of the clothes in the dryers. I suddenly found an inner calmness in everyone minding their own business. It was in that very moment, I knew I'd escaped. I opened my notebook and chose my word.

Today was the very best kind of escape I live to experience: the unexpected kind.

Who knew that a plethora of well heated Bounce dryer sheets could smell so good?

D IS FOR DOGMA

I have been surrounded by so much skepticism of late, I decided to blog about something that is in fact incontrovertibly true. I AM the crazy dog lady!

Puddin' riding high... while Dottie & I ride shotgun.
Taken: September 19th, 2013

I’d never had a dog as a child because my mother was a cat person. The first dog we ever got as a couple was when I was about to start my maternity leave with Jukebox. 

I thought, ‘what the hell; I’ll be home for 16 weeks, I’ll have time to train it. Seriously, how hard can it be?!’. 

Well, the baby slept through the night after three weeks and for the next six months I hauled my sorry ass out of bed in the middle of the night to let the dog out for a leak!

Though we've had very few dogs over the years, the two I have now truly have my heart.

For lack of a better saying, we are a pack. The kids tease me that the only reason they respect me is because I feed them but I also think they gravitate to me (before my husband or children) because I have a constant energy with them. The three of us seem to have a unique approach new situations. We do it together, calmly, and with trust.

If there's one thing I have discovered over the last couple of years it that you’re never truly alone when you have a dog. I would suffer so if anything happened to either of my girls but after all, if I didn't have them, what the hell would I spend my money on?

Like I said... D is for .... the DOG's MA!

...BAZINGA!!

C IS FOR CAMARADERIE

What can I say? You either gravitate to that kind of energy or you don’t. Matter a fact, I am probably one of the few people I know that strive to surround myself with as much of it as much as possible. I consider it to be an essential balance in every single area of my life.

When I began dating my husband (almost thirty years ago) my mother was terminally ill. We've always had a  lot of natural chemistry but I believe we have stood the test of time part and parcel because of how well we get along. Hard times have always be overcome because we've always been the best of friends. 

From the very beginning, our life together has
always been filled with a love for sarcasm, humour and camaraderie!
Taken: June 2002

In my eyes, one of his most valued traits is his ability to make us all laugh. 

Intense by nature, he can make me laugh at the stupidest situations imaginable. Silly ones I may end up fixated on. Some days our mutual love of humour is what literally pulls me through.

With our children fully grown, it warms my heart to know that they have all embraced our philosophy. They love to laugh and live to nurture great friendships; with each other, extended family, co-workers and many facets of varying people. 

I must admit, as they were growing up, I'm confident that we were probably labelled the strictest parents. All these years later, I also know that when you flipped that disciplined coin, we've always been the most fun!

What can I say? The Peacock's LOVE FUN... It's how we roll!