Reflection Always Has A Purpose…

As this beautiful Sunday winds down I have to admit it’s been a weekend of quiet reflection for me. (Hard to believe that this same weekend last year, Jamie was finishing up in Kitchener, and heading home to work.)

Tomorrow is April 30^th and the final day on our lease for Dave’s house. (He moved out this weekend, has two jobs for the summer, and will remain in the city to work in his chosen field.)

Staci's also had a banner year and she's on her home stretch as well. Her journey has been a little different; she’s kept her job here in town at Metro, slept in her old room almost every weekend, and wants to return to Muskoka to work when she graduates.

After I finished work Saturday, I found myself alone in the sun. Tunes cranked, talking to myself (relax, I don’t answer back), and it hit me. By all accounts, when it comes to raising my children, my job here is done.

As silly as it sounds, I've felt this shift coming for quite some time. After we put Sally down and Daisy entered my heart, I started to press for two more dogs. Two years later, I realize that I wanted to add to our pet population because I knew the void that was coming would change my life forever. Reflection yesterday made me realize it truly has.

I am so very proud that we’ve raised three confident, intelligent, strong willed individuals and given them all the tools for success in life. It hasn’t been easy. Actually, it’s been really hard. But it's always been my experience that the really great things in life never happen without a lot of personal investment and very hard work.

As the flowers bloom and I move out to the cottage for the summer I can’t help but ask myself “what will I do with all my spare time?” The answer is easy.

I'm thinking a puppy (maybe a Jack Russell Terrier I'll name Zack) and GOLF! Small white ball in a small round hole. Bring it!

30 Things Every Woman Should Have And Should Know

I read this online this morning and thought I would share. Ah my 30's. It was a great decade. Oh how I miss them! They say "life begins at 30 and for me it truly did.

(FYI - I didn't ask Glamour Magazine for permission to repost like Huffungton did but that's only because my personal contact at Glamour left and is now is Cosmo.)

This article really makes me think! Enjoy

In 1997, Glamour magazine published a story titled "30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30." The list, written by Pamela Redmond Satran, was so popular that women started emailing it around, misattributing it to various female luminaries including Maya Angelou and Hillary Clinton. Noting what a phenomenon it had become, the editors of Glamour created a book around it, featuring essays from (mostly) famous women on each of the items on the list. The book, released today, includes meditations from Katie Couric on work and love, Portia de Rossi on accepting your body, and one from the list's original author, who is also a Huffington Post blogger, on how to live alone.

Because the list still makes us so, so happy, we asked Glamour's permission to reprint it here:

By 30, you should have ...
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know ...
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30


What's on your personal list of things to have and know -- and possibly do -- before turning 30?

A Hug Is the Shortest Distance Between Friends…

I’m a 'hugger', there I said it. I love hugging.  I wish I was an octopus so I could hug eight people all at once!

I hug everyone; new friends, old friends, my kids (their friends), clients, coworkers, as well as people that I feel  an overwhelming instant connection with.

Truth? If I don’t know you well enough, I will feel the need to ask "may I have a hug"? Or if you're aware of my personality trait, I just throw my arms up in the air and bellow "gimme a hug!" Haven't seen you in a while? You'll get two - three if you're lucky. It's truly a part of who I am.

I'm not exactly sure when the defining moment was that I became a 'hugger' but like any obsession, I'm sure it progressed quickly.

I believe it started with my children; the entire Glazier clan were definitely a factor, can't forget JC (John), PUG, and three of my closest amigos… Sean (may he RIP) Paul & Bob. I know for a fact that it was the last three that threw me over the edge.

What’s the best way to guarantee a hug from me? Just open your arms!

My personal perspective is that a  hug is like a boomerang. You throw it out there and get it back right away. (If it doesn't return to you quickly.... grab a breath mint.)

How be we make a list? Who needs a hug? Let me grab my post it notes!

How’s My Mood? Fair to Partly Cloudy!

It’s overcast this Sunday morning and on a scale of 1-10, my single cup of coffee rated a whopping 4 (mediocre at best).

Let me start by saying I hate waking up on my ONE day off to crap weather. I don’t ask for much, I’m a simple gal. Is waking up to sunshine on a Sunday too much to crave? Helloooo, it was labeled SUNday early on for a reason! 

Yup, I’m tired and cranky as I didn’t sleep well. I cut my left index finger last night (and even with a band aid it hurts to type). And to top it off, I'm renovating the house, which makes me an even bigger bitch, because I can’t stand to look at the mess.

Hmmm, let’s see. How shall I turn my day from funk to fabulous? 

It’s too early for chocolate or ice cream, and although it’s “five o’clock somewhere” alcohol is not an option. I’m not in the mood for sex (a loud gasp of disbelief is heard by every single hen out there) and I don’t feel like shopping. 

Holy doodle! Someone call a doctor! I think I may have been bitten by a tsetse fly and I am in the early stages of malaria! All joking aside, I hate being grumpy. It’s the wrong lane for me. It's just wrong.

So, in an effort to reset my mood, I think I am going to jump in the shower and head to the driving range. That way, I can relieve my frustrations the old fashion way, with some good clean golf ball violence. That said, with the mood I'm in I best take my old clubs...just in case I feel the need to break one.

Damn you glass half empty!

♫♪♫ Mr.Sandman Bring Me a Dream♪♫♪

Mr. Sandman is calling me to bed early tonight and my exhaustion has his song (and of course those amazing harmonies) playing over and over in my head. So why so tired?

For all of you that don’t receive my personal ESP mind link, I have NOT been feeling 100% since returning from the Spring Cottage Life Show (damn you International Centre and your re-circulated air). I've been sick for the last week. I didn’t sleep well last night, and before dawn, I knew I wasn’t heading into work this morning.

How ill you ask? 

I really enjoy one cup of coffee a day. After only half a cup this morning, I headed back upstairs to bed. (I am pleased to report that I did come downstairs a couple of times; once for water and once for some fresh fruit but even that was a chore.)

Seriously, one can only stay in bed for so long.  Hunger ensues, major leg cramping sets in, not to mention that my back tends to ache into next week. Upside? I had a bath around dinner time with lots of bubbles and I feel I am on the mend.

I am far to busy to stay in bed all day but I wasn't calling the shots. Today proved that ya gotta do what your body says ya gotta do...

As my eyes get heavier and I log off this eve, I have to ask Mr. Sandman do his thing. I can't believe I am climbing into bed again!

Holy Doodle...I Chatted with 25,000 People Last Weekend!

I had a great time at the Cottage Life Show last weekend. My guess is the attendance soared over fifty thousand in total, and I swear I spoke to half of them personally.

I’ve taken a couple of days off work. I needed to. (You know the deal…there is only so much Rhondi to go around.) Reset and reload.

As my Blackberry BBM flashed throughout the day with comments like “the customer needs you, they met you at the Show and have questions,” or the familiar, “they only want to deal with you” I asked myself the following question... When was the last time I met someone new?

I can honestly count how many people in my life that I have truly let in. You know the old saying “a friend will help you move… but a true friend will help you move a body!” Keeping that in mind, let’s just say I only have a handful of people that would help me move (and I refuse to name the Hens that would help me move a body).

How is it possible to know everyone... yet not know anyone?  That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

Work Rhondi is controlling the real Rhondi.

Glass half empty? No way! The goal oriented person I am wants to rebut. My inner self tells me that I will meet someone new in the very near future.

Don’t “Ma’am” Me…. EVER!

So it seems I have a birthday coming up. I’d like to be able to report that it will be my 25^th but that would be a lie. Not only would it be a lie, it would be a two decade understatement.

I remember worrying (way back when) that turning 30 would be really hard for me. I also remember being surprised when it wasn’t. In fact, to this day, turning 31 was the birthday I have struggled with most. I struggled because it was the reality that I was ...“In my 30’s”.

I recall having a conversation with my husband (about a week after I turned 31) because I'd spent a somber day in bed. When he asked what was wrong I replied; “If I have to spend the day in bed when I turn 31, I’ll bet I will have to spend a week in bed when I turn 41.” Without missing a beat I immediately added, “Jeez, I hope he’s good looking!” We still laugh about that comment today.

Age is a frame of mind. I believe that. But as my appearance changes & people see me with grown children, I tend to get called Ma’am, which never use to happen. I hate it - I’m not a Ma’am - I’m a Rhondi.

Just last week I was chatting with three male clients at work. As they were leaving, my friend Dean waved with a big smile and said... “See ya later Ma’am”. I quickly reacted.

“Don’t Ma’am me! Do I look like a Ma’am to you? Three days past dead is a Ma’am in my book... & I’m no where near dead!!!” All three customers burst into laughter.

As everyone made their way out the front entrance I heard a very loud exit bellow from my buddy Dean; “SEE YA LATER SWEET CHEEKS… “

…To which my equally loud and firm roar was “MUCH BETTER!”

When One Door Closes? Be Smart and Climb in a Window!

So my “four alarm fire” week finally ended. It ended with me playing hooky from work yesterday afternoon for some much needed ME time. Yup, what started out as a simple errand, ended up as an RTFR (road trip for Rhondi)!

Spring always has me restless but this year even more so. In my line of work, opening the lakes in Muskoka signifies that every single flood gate in my day to day life  open and open fast. My job will require me to work from sunrise, pretty much until sunset, six days a week, for more than six months. 

I’m not complaining; as I have blogged before, I am a leader and I’ve dressed for the job I want and have. 

It’s just that with my stressful week behind me I know now for certain that the lakes have opened a month early this year. So, as I head to the Spring Cottage Life Show next week I have to wonder, does this mean I will officially burn out and require a bib before the Asian tour buses arrive and the leaves change in the fall?

A very wise person gave me some great advice recently. They looked me in the eye and firmly stated “stop over thinking everything… you over analyze everything to death… !” Funny how when someone states the obvious it helps one understand the reality.

Yes-sir-reeee! Yesterday was the first time in a long time I didn’t over think and it felt really good. When was the last time I had as much fun as I had yesterday afternoon? Haven’t a clue, but I do know one thing for sure, it’s not going to be THAT long until I don’t over think ever again.

PSST…My boss is in Florida so no one tell him. He’d kill me for playing hooky when the lakes are open!!!

... Please Pose For Me Mr. Fireman!

Why is it lately I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back? 

My day started productively. My desk cleared itself nicely, had an office visit from two of my favorite clients, and spent my lunch hour in the sun. Definitely great, one step forward!

Missing in action mid afternoon, a friend text asking “…You there?” My response, “I have a four alarm fire!" My next text is something I have been asking myself for quite sometime. “Why is there never a good looking firefighter around when I need one?"  

In an effort to keep my post light, allow me to remind everyone that firefighters (as observed daily on my $20 calendar) truly have great skill. This afternoon, I could have embraced two of their very specific talents, which may have helped me personally in my time of need:

1. Their ability to instinctively assist and support with my situation at hand (trust me there were flames everywhere).
2. Their ability to perform a “real time” calendar pose right in the middle of the warehouse (which would have been followed by me asking if I could 'tap that ass' to relieve some extremely elevated levels of tension).  

Suffice is to say, neither rescue occurred….

TRUTH: I wish that I could take one day, hang out and observe, how certain folk would "walk a mile in my shoes".

Scratch that. Not an option. I’m sure they’d just complain. I know them. 

My shoes would not only be the wrong size but the wrong style. Hardest part for me to watch? How they’d take them off after 5 minutes because they would never be able to mange how quickly they move, in several directions, at the same time, to benefit everyone else. Hence my two steps back.

Legal Disclaimer: No firemen were harmed in the creation of this post

The Peacock’s Nest is Getting Ready to OPEN!

In all the years we have owned Orillia Lake; never has the ice been out this early, the snow disappeared so quickly, nor our red steel roof shed its winter coat and melted before the first day of Spring.

March Break for us has always been (as a family) when we would officially open the cottage. In the early years we’d take time off with the kids, snowshoe in, clear the decks and have our first stay of the new season.

In the last few years, due to part time jobs and graduation, family visits became fewer and farther between. What use to be our family haven became that place we played board games (yawn), listened to Super Hits Saturday Night (ick) and (God forbid) didn't have an internet connection! 

So many things changed last year. The weather was so poor we never opened for business until Canada Day weekend - and I spent most of my time there alone as both Tony and the kids seemed to have had enough.

This year my plan is to open early and spend as much time there as possible.

Not because I don’t love the house in town (and my standing Friday night tee time) but because I won’t entertain selling the spot until I have made an honest effort of enjoying it without the kids being around. Am I nervous for what the 2012 season will bring? No way.

My plan is to soak up as much sun as possible, read books and more books, and if it rains I'll just stay in bed and watch one of my 200+ movies. If that doesn't float my boat I’ll buy a jet ski.

I am dead serious. If I get cabin fever, I can trailer that puppy onto the big lakes in a heart beat. Glass half full? Absolutely! Who's the smart chick that isn't paying a crippling tax bill?

That's right peeps... I'm always thinking!

Sunday Sunshine Always Makes Me Smile…

I woke up this morning, jumped in the shower, and I have to admit I have a skip in my step. 

For me, there is nothing better than a spring like winter day (especially when it just happens to arrive on a day that I don’t have to haul my sorry ass into work)!

True to form, my list is complete for the day. Indoor chores are few and outdoor chores are many. The fact that I’ll be able to wear a heavy sweater & gloves has me ecstatic. There’s always something in the air on a day like today that makes me smile. It’s like I am unstoppable or something.

For whatever reason I always end up in the back yard with a bonfire started. Not because I have something to burn (though I have been known to empty the garage of stuff without warning) but because it feels right. 

I am so jazzed for a really great day that I don’t even give a crap (no pun intended) that my first outdoor chore is to clean Daisy & Dots front yard powder room. Bring on the wheel barrel and my rubber boots – I’m on a mission!

Who says you have to be in Jamaica this time of year to tan? 

Regrets? I’ve Had a Few But Who Hasn’t?

When I was standing at the YYZ luggage carrousel (at 4am) yesterday morning I heard myself saying to a couple close by that “I regret agreeing to a late checkout/flight from Jamaica."

I have been thinking about regret a lot lately....

Now that I am rested, I really don't regret the late choice. In hindsight, I was simply disappointed that my plane was delayed, making me overtired and grumpy. 

Personally, my regrets are few. More often than not lately, I've had a string of brutal, almost devastating, disappointments. Safe to say (for me anyway) I eventually recover from disappointment but regret tends to linger.

Confused? Let me help.

I regret never telling my mother that I loved her before she died. I have regretted that since her death in 1987. “I love you” was an unspoken phrase in our home growing up so taking that step was a leap.

In hindsight, I often think of her (at the end), wondering if I would have said the words, maybe she would have said them back. Either way, I regret never having tried. I wanted to “go there” but I guess in the end I didn’t want to be disappointed.

The moral of my story?

Will I regret calling you an asshole if you are one? Nope… Will I be disappointed if we never speak again? Definitely. Especially if you aren't an asshole.

"I Miss You"

For those of you that don’t know me very well, I am a list person. My desk at work is filled with colourful Post-it notes of tasks I need to accomplish. Every Saturday & Sunday morning, over my only cup of coffee, I make a list.

My dad Herve wasn’t always a list person but became one after he retired. He approached his tasks a little differently than I but he was a list person just the same.  

I use to ask him... “Dad, when are you going to get around to doing so and so” and his standard reply was always… “Rhondi, I have a list. Everyday I look at my list and pick three things that I want to get done. If something shows up at the top that I don’t want to do, I don't do it. It goes to the bottom... I know it will eventually make its way up to the top again.”

I can hear him speaking the words. I miss him. I miss him every single day, which brings me to this mornings question. Why do we miss someone?

When it comes to my dad, the math is easy. He was my beacon (taught me to golf, ski, & fish). My personal confidant (even though I always knew he liked my husband better). And my life coach (yes maam, I can change a furnace filter with ease and I love to do the yard work). So I guess I’m not really talking about him per say.

There are people I miss on a daily basis. Some are near to me, and some far away from me, but I still miss them. It’s hard to express to someone that you miss them. It’s not an emotion easily verbalized. I suppose that's why I rarely say anything to the person I am missing.

I guess the best practice may be to just acknowledge the void as just that, a dulling pain that can’t be soothed. I'll just close my eyes, think of all the good I have experienced, smile and quietly keep my thoughts of angst to myself.

Now back to my list. Hmmm, what shall I prepare for dinner? I just wrote down chicken. 

The Countdown is On!

It seems the countdown is on to my much needed and seriously overdue vacation.

I have been so busy with work (and other things going on in my life) that I've spent zero time thinking about my trip and what it will offer.

You’ll be encouraged to know that I have started packing. I started with the suitcase I usually board a plane with, upgraded to her larger (much older more attractive) sister, and today purchased a “Big Momma” of a thing because... “I really do need to take THAT many pairs of shoes!"

As I gazed at my clothes on the bed, I thought about all the summers we’ve spent on Orillia Lake since 1999. Has owning a cottage in Muskoka filled the void of a winter vacation?

Without hesitation. Absolutely! I live - work - and cottage - within 15 minutes of the other. Life does not get any better than that! 

We've raised our children (and help raise other peoples children) on our lake. Lived there the summer of 2002 until our new house in town closed, perfected my golf swing from what is now the fire pit, and the Reid’s (plus Shane) next door are truly a part of our family.

I’m not sure why I am second guessing my trip to the Caribbean. Possibly because the amount of money being spent could purchase a very good/used pontoon boat for the dogs. Settle down, I'm kidding. The money could have been spent on something much more practical... 

...A hot tub for Rhondi! 

Always Look To Yourself To Find The Answers...

I'm not gonna lie. I had a total crap day. My husband picked me up at work, took one look and me, and he knew it wasn't good. 

It wasn't a crazy bad day per say, just a crazy busy one, with some unexpected road bumps. I want to go on the record with the fact that I hate road bumps. No matter why or how they arrive - they just downright suck. 

So how does an exhausted, road bump rider like myself, take her glass from half empty to half full? As I soaked in my tub, I closed my eyes, looked inward and reflected then listed 25 things I know and understand about myself:

1. My life is complete because I am loved.

2. I have the most amazing and talented children.

3. I am one of the very fortunate in life that love what I do for a living.

4. I know that a hot tub & singing out loud, to my favorite song, will cure my woes at anytime.

5. I believe in God.

6.  I am a leader and I think that my skill set for business is genetic.

7. I feel a smile with my eyes is more important than words.

8. I know that theatre is far more rewarding for me than figure skating ever was.

9.  I have let certain people go & I miss them every single day.

10. I've had people use me and let them.

11. I've had people talk behind my back and let them. (Some I will never speak to again and some I have forgiven because I know they couldn't help themselves.)

12. I know that nursing both my parents to their death has changed my entire outlook on life.

13. I know I make mistakes and I try to learn from every single one of them.

14. I make an effort not to judge someone that hasn't "walked a mile in my shoes"...

15. I honestly feel Canadians need to pay more attention to politics.

16. I’ll take a "little great" in lieu of a "whole lot of nothing" any day.

17. I’ll pick Jane Austen over chocolate in a heart beat.

18. I hear circus music in my head on a regular basis.

19. I know stress shows itself in different ways.

20. I miss my mentors.

21. I know I'm strong on the outside. Fragile on the inside.

22. I love golf. My pitching wedge is my friend.

23. What you see is what you get.
24. I love fun... it's how I roll!

25. I am afraid of the dark. Always have been... always will be.

Is Leadership Thankless?

Certain things in my day to day life are really important to me.

How I spend my time has to be number one (heck it’s one to five) because life is short. Treating people the way I want to be treated is right up there too. If I go all “Tasmanian Devil” on you, believe me there is a reason! 

I’m not proud to admit that I can unequivocally be the single biggest bitch you may ever come across but I honestly try hard not to live my life in that lane. I am thankful for who I am and what I have. As a person, I feel I am generous. When it comes to sharing my friendship, life experience (been know to snow blow a driveway or two) I am there 120%. 

So here's the final jeopardy question. When you meet (or report to) someone in a leadership role, does that automatically change your perception of who they truly are?

My favorite quote of all time is “if you want to test someone’s character, give them power” I find that statement monumental. Yep, I am a leader. I am the first to put up my hand and admit that I dressed for the job I wanted (and that I have). But on days like today I have to put this out there... Why is leadership so thankless?

No point in explaining why I am asking the question (one leads in hopes that others will gravitate to the overall philosophy that enables them to receive a bi-weekly paycheck) but I raised my voice today. I have never done that in the workplace before.

Not going to lie, it has my heart heavy and my glass of wine chilled. That said, there is one thing I know for sure....

Tomorrow is a new day and I always GREET each new day!

Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

HEY LADY - via my guest Lynne Versteeg

I was thinking about posting to my blog tonight. Just as I was cracking my knuckles (and finishing my stretching exercises) my BLOG mentor posted.

Most of you know that I am pretty high maintenance. My job calls for it and my husband likes it. At the end of the day, I may emulate Lynne to a tee because "I yam what I yam..."

Enjoy her post. Click the following  http://shejustaintright.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/hey-lady/  ...it's well worth the read.

Cheers!

No Shit Men Are From MARS!

I’ve always considered myself a pretty good communicator.

That said, I know I tend to jump when it comes to subject matter.  In my defense, my “jumping” is an indication that far too much gibberish is happening. You know me, I always pontificate efficiency and productivity!

The point of my post started yesterday. I was communicating with a member of the opposite sex; very intelligent, professional, has his own teeth, well rounded bloke, when something went horribly wrong. With my options running out, I shook my head and rolled my eyes (you know… the “Rhondi Reset”) and I went at it from a different angle. Much to my dismay....nothing.

Why do men and women communicate so differently?

Is it communication or focus?

I'm not sure but either way no words can describe my/his frustration.

In the end it all worked out because we agreed to disagree. Good news is we will continue our banter, primarily because he feels I am "an odd duck".

Hey folks, my peeps know I've been called worse!

Define A True Friend…

Everyone hears what you say. 

Friends listen to what you say. 

True friends listen to what you don’t say

~Unknown

Last night after work I headed to a business/dinner meeting. 

When things were wrapping up I took the opportunity to get an update on a gentleman I 
define as a true friend. We’d lost touch in the last year or so - you know the drill - my 
job changed, his job changed, not to mention he now lives a bazillion miles away.

The point for the lapse is moot. I was shocked to discover that he’d had some pretty severe health issues recently with a very long road to recovery.

I won’t beleaguer everyone with the details; long story short, I picked up the phone today, called him and told him I loved him. It was like we spoke yesterday. I listened to everything he had to say to me about his situation but most of all I focused on what he didn't say. That gave me the real picture of how he's doing. 

Life is short folks. Far too short for regrets and losing touch for the people that make a significant difference in your life.

I’ll leave you with that - on this - the fourth day of 2012....

A VERY Belated YOU KNOW WHAT!

Both personally and professionally December is always hectic. Christmas has always signified that everything is about to roll over and we start all over again in January. 

Before I begin hammering on my keyboard, I want to go on the record saying that I'd been counting down to this festive break since Labour Day and with a skip in my step, I left the office midday the 22^nd . Who knew the proverbial bus (unexpectedly filled with a ton of bricks) was driving around town looking to hit me?

BOOM! I awoke with a sore throat the morning of the 23rd  with the oh so “slight cough” creeping in by mid day Christmas Eve. By suppertime Christmas Day the high fever had arrived in dah house & I was down and out for the count. I was so terribly ill there was no Facebook, no Twitter, no “YaGottaLaughAboutit” nada, nothing, zero, zip, squat. 

Not only was I too ill to spread sarcasm and wit to all my social media kin, by the night of the 27^th I was ready to call 911! Who knew you could overdose on Lofthouse’s Fisherman’s Friends? Crikey those boys are powerful! Should have known when I slept with the packet under my pillow for the second night in a row there could be trouble.

Most people would reflect and say “I can’t remember the last time I was that sick” but it seems I do. Yep, it was Christmas of 1989 just six weeks before my eldest son was born.  Ah, the dastardly flu of ’89. It now ranks up there with the plague that hovered over me the Christmas of 2011.

Still on the mend I would like to take a minute and wish each and every one of you a Very Merry Belated Christmas. Better late than never and while I'm at it Happy 2012 all... CHEERS!

Feeling Beige & David John Grant Would Be Pissed About it!

                                                                         

David John Grant  1940-2011. 

Every single morning my routine is simple. I put the dogs out, pull the blinds up and ask myself “what colour do I feel today?”

Some mornings I feel fire engine red (ready to motivate and get it done). Others more a lavender, soft pink or peach (good and very amiable). Today I woke up beige. I looked beige, I felt beige. My zip was zapped from the get go. Today I had to bid adieu to an important energy in my life and my heart was heavy.

Grieving the loss of a friend is never easy, especially when everyone around you thinks you’re the “Good News Bear” all of the time.  I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to sit with hundreds people and be sad. As my tears began to flow - I realized I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Truth be known, if St. Peter would have allowed "Dace the Hammer" one last ass kicking, it would have been today. It was how Dave rolled. In your face, very loud, matter a fact, profanity would have filled the church!!! I close my eyes and I can hear him bellow "What The F***? ... This is a Celebration of Life!!!"

That said, I felt bad for the gentleman that sat next to me. Nice smile, great suit, kinda shy and he managed to listen to me weep like an idiot. (Wait it gets better…. ) At the end of the service I asked this good man if I could “have a hug?” 

He looked at me and unconditionally opened his arms. I hugged him like he was Dave and perhaps he hugged me back for the very same reason. I’ll probably never see him again but should apologize for the mascara I left on his lapel... I'm sure he knows it was in memory of our friend.

Rest in Peace Dave. I will love and miss you always….

I Know I’m Not Crazy… My Mother Had me Tested!

Seriously, I may not be crazy per say but I am “by definition” an extrovert.

Though "friendly & outgoing" are both great qualities, surprisingly they are not what defines me as an extrovert. Ding-Ding-Ding apparently the winning trait is that I “feel energized being around other people”. 

Other zingers... I think as I speak. I enjoy social situations. I have an ability to make small talk and I conceptualize. I honestly never knew I had a different profile other than the one I'd posted on Facebook (note to self...check the privacy settings and profile pic on your x-tro-vrt page)

One thing that surprised me was they say extroverts tend to “fade” when alone. With a plethora of us extroverts out there, could this be why social media has exploded? Social media creates a comfort for us folk.   Let's face it the internet never sleeps.

Keeping with that thought (and if in fact that's the case) let’s go one more step. If social media creates an environment where an extrovert never feels alone, does an introvert gravitate to social media to cross over into extroversion?

Either way, the God’s honest truth, is the person I classify as my very best “forever friend” is a die hard introvert.

Proving that the old adage...

Opposites really do attract.

Just Like That... HE WAS GONE!

I have a heavy heart tonight as I bid adieu to my friend & mentor David Grant. 

Dave passed this morning and his wife Louise  assures "he was surrounded by his family and passed peacefully". Just like my mother, he suffered a long battle with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease).

Dave entered my life in the mid 1990’s.

From his initial advice to “never do anything three times you don’t want to become your job”, to my assigned nicknames of "Dave the HAMMER Grant" and "Super Dace Grant" (the C is next to the V on the keyboard & he never hit spell check) there was never a dull moment.

He was an amazing & fair boss that taught me how to spot a "fake" a mile away. I will never forget him; his volume when he wanted to be heard, his love for his family, his amazing work ethic.I will forever envy his intelligence, his love for 'chickens' and his ability to write a kick-ass Christmas letter. I will always cherish his respect and support. I have learned and I have grown because he always unconditionally pushed me forward.

He was my mentor. He was my friend. I have a heavy heart tonight and it's for Dace....

Rest in peace my dear.

Do YOU Ever Feed an Expired Parking Meter?

Just about everything has an expiry date right? Do acquaintances? Not friendships but acquaintances?

Without some sort of tragedy, it’s been my personal experience, that a solid friendship stays solid for a reason.

I am very proud to have people that I have known for the better part of my life that I would do anything for. That said, I can't admit the same for a large number of acquaintances that have drifted in and out of my life in the last 30 years.

There are so many factors that lead to drifting, leaving you at the proverbial acquaintance crossroad. Job related changes, divorce is a biggie (who gets the innocent bystanders) not to mention the “by association” lane. You know the one, you meet a friend of friend and through repeat social gatherings become acquaintances. At some point you eventually stop running into each other (which leads me to my question). Do you feed the expired meter or do you just keep walking because you know if it was up to them they would choose to keep their change? It’s a tough call.

Just last week I took a good look at a parking meter I had in Kitchener. Gave it some thought and I decided to save my change. It wasn’t a decision I made in haste. At the end of the day, parking meters come and go...

Life is quirky. For the one I didn’t feed last week, two expired souls fed mine (one last night and one this morning) and it makes me wonder. I bumped into one soul unexpectedly but did the other just come across a photo of me & feed our meter?

In any case I am glad they both did.

The Voices in My Head Keep Singing Off Key

For those of you that know me, you know I love to sing. Because my blog is read by millions, for all of those that don’t know me, I am going to go on record with the fact that I love to sing.

I’m no pro and truth be told, as a kid my dad use to joke “Rhondi, sing solo…. So low we can’t hear you” (still makes me smile). Wondering why with such unconditional support I still sing?

It’s simple... Music as a whole is a really big part of who I am as a person. In the car, cleaning the house, reading a book, not to mention the fact that I can’t work without background music, speaks to my passion. 

No matter why, at the end of the day, I know I have only four good notes. Yep only four! I am an alto and a struggling one at that. I have to learn the harmony as the melody before the song to makes sense to me.

Loving to sing and being able to sing are two totally different lanes. Trust me. What’s the first and last rule of song? Know your limits! Guess that’s why since Sean has passed (and I have given up performing) my daily audience consists of the same 16 peeps.

Myself and the party of fifteen that I have going on in my head!

I Love You My Tweet!

About a year ago, I cut the cord; deleting my Facebook farm, frontier and city. Envision me at an addiction outreach meeting, standing up and saying “Hello... My name is Rhondi & I am addicted to gifting...!”

It was at that point, with an unexpected amount of time on my mouse, I decided to take a peek over the fence at Twitter. The medium didn’t make sense to me at first.  Comments I'd heard in passing were it was an “American thing”. That said, I knew it wasn’t going away so I decided to take the leap.

I set myself up (@Rhon2theDee for anyone interested) and I started looking for people I knew. Seems that was my first issue. Twitter isn’t about people you know, it’s about the information you want to compile. Think of it this way.... with Facebook you give & Twitter you take. You invite on Facebook. You follow on Twitter.

Facebook is generally a reflection of your personality - you know generally a quaint narcissistic peek into your life. With Twitter, you add #hashtags add a @username, a shorten URL link, or RT (retweet) info you think others may find appealing.  You feed the machine to keep it going. One is about giving - the other is about receiving.

With my motto in tow - you can't stop change only manage it - I’m going to read Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 again this weekend as a gentle reminder of where we may be headed.

In Search of A Smile….

Not gonna lie, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Don’t know why, but the fall time change has always kicked the crap out of me. Is it because I know what the next few months will bring? Or is it because my body's telling me it's TIME to eat really fatty comfort foods and hibernate in fuzzy socks and a plethora of really ugly bath robes?

Either way, today was one of those days where more often than not, I found myself in search of my smile. No flashlight, no map, just a mission. So I set my course and my search was on.

I’ve had some pretty hilarious things happen to me over time. Today, to relieve my funk, I asked myself when was the last time I laughed until I cried? (Last time I laughed so hard my face hurt and all those really neat chemicals filled my brain?)

A few instances jumped to mind (Bill’s napkin magic trick, teaching Colleen to ballroom dance) but one really did stand alone. Here goes....

I was working on a cottage project with a customer and from a construction standpoint things went bad fast. He was the perfect customer (and we remain friends) but we were late arriving to site and the more the team did, to more damage was found. Truthfully, his budget was being obliterated in a nano-second.

Knowing we were already on thin ice, I called him on his direct line in Toronto and offered the best opening line I had. “Have I told you how handsome you are?” His response was classic. “Hmmmm…. SOUNDS expensive!” I explained the situation, sent photos and he told me to keep working.

More bad news arrived within the hour and I had to call again. I opened with… “You are soooooo handsome…” and all I heard was “Nooooooooo….” He knew we had to keep going.

Third time his direct line rang only once. He picked up the phone and before I could speak and he said… “I better be fucking ugly!” We both roared. I was howling, he couldn't stop commenting, our friendship was sealed. 

To this day we have remained friends. I've personally been to his cottage and we BBM everyday. He's an important guy (at least he thinks so) but he still makes me laugh and we both tell the story often. It's as simple as that!

Life's Little Instructions!

1. Sing in the shower. 
2. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated. 
3. Watch a sunrise at least once a year. 
4. Leave the toilet seat in the down position. 
5. Never refuse homemade brownies. 
6. Strive for excellence, not perfection. 
7. Plant a tree on your birthday. 
8. Learn 3 clean jokes. 
9. Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full. 
10. Compliment 3 people every day. 
11. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. 
12. Leave everything a little better than you found it. 
13. Keep it simple. 
14. Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. 
15. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. 
16. Ask for a raise when you think you've earned it. 
17. Overtip breakfast waitresses. 
18. Be forgiving of yourself and others. 
19. Say, "Thank you" a lot. Say, "Please" a lot. 
20. Avoid negative people. 
21. Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards. 
22. Remember other people's birthdays. 
23. Commit yourself to constant improvement. 
24. Carry jumper cables in your truck. 
25. Have a firm handshake. 
26. Send lots of Valentine cards. Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're terrific." 
27. Look people in the eye. 
28. Be the first to say hello. 
29. Use the good silver. 
30. Return all things you borrow. 
31. Make new friends, but cherish the old ones. 
32. Keep a few secrets. 
33. Sing in a choir... 
34. Plant flowers every spring. 
35. Have a pet. 
36. Always accept an outstretched hand. 
37. Stop blaming others. 
38. Take responsibility for every area of your life. 
39. Wave at kids on school busses. 
40. Be there when people need you. 
41. Feed a stranger's expired parking meter. 
42. Don't expect life to be fair. 
43. Never underestimate the power of love. 
44. Drink champagne for no reason at all. 
45. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. 
46. Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake." Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." 
47. Compliment even small improvements. 
48. Marry for love. 
49. Rekindle old friendships. 
50. Count your blessings. 
51. Call your mother.