My Mom Sooo Woulda Kicked Your Ass!

“When God was handing out noses, he thought you said hoses & gave you a long one!” 

~ My Mom.

My Mom & I on a family trip to Gaspe.
Taken: July 1972

I was always a very curious child. Constantly asking questions and continually wanting to learn. 

When/if I entered a subject matter that my mother didn’t want to discuss, she would automatically recite the famous rhyme I've posted. After being warned, if I pushed, I'd be firmly told “the subject is closed!”

My parents having me later in life meant (that outside of school) I spent my most formative years in a room full of adults. 

With my mother's side of the family I was meant to be seen and not heard. My father's family? I was always included no matter what. So, from a very young age, I quickly learned which of my 15 personalities came in handy!

Joking aside, part of me thinks I am the way I am because my mother very militant was always quite hard. Crazy intelligent: yet fiercely dominant. I have grown into my own level of intellect but my entire life I have been conscious of our similarities. All my life I've always known I never wanted to emulate, nor exude such serious and somewhat uncaring energy. (The honest truth is raising our children I would remind my husband... "never let me do this, nor this, & definately not that.)

That said, I have never wanted to consciously emulate my mother until today. What can I say, when a good ass kicking is meant to be had, show up and kick some serious fecking ass! What did I do? I rolled over, offered some personal insight, and walked away.

Not because I couldn't have gone "there" but if after after all these years you're hanging your hat on the experience you've gained from those cult like Amway daze? You just simply are not worth a single stitch of my time and energy!

PS - DUDE... Get your nose the hell outta my business or my Mom is sooo gonna kick your ass once and for all!!!