COURAGE FLAG RAISED

 I woke this morning to a calendar alert from my phone simply labelled JS sentencing. Originally set for this day is September, it had be postponed two months until today.

As you know, I don't mention is name here but it is hoped that his sentencing today offers #JusticeForAshley. My beautiful coworker he murdered in January 2023.

I tried to log into the courtroom hearing this morning, only to discover that his sentencing would not be issued virtually. In turn, I have been checking Collingwood Today, every fifteen minutes, in hopes of finally hearing his fate. 

At about 2:45pm, reporter Erika Engel reported the following. Another milestone for Ashley.

This is her article, and photo credit and (c) belong to her. 

Courage flag raised in Collingwood while sentencing begins for local man who murdered wife.

Photo credit and (c) to Erika Engel of Collingwood Today

'The courage of a woman alone is not enough,' says executive director of My Friend's House during flag raising.

As a purple flag emblazoned with the word "Courage" was hoisted up a flag pole in Collingwood to mark Nov. 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, friends and family members of a woman who was killed by her husband in Collingwood read out victim impact statements in a Barrie courthouse during the sentencing trial for the convicted killer. 

"The courage of a woman alone is not enough," said Alison FitzGerald, the executive director for My Friend's House, Collingwood's women and children's shelter. "It does take a community to make a difference in the lives of abused women and children." 

Members of Collingwood council helped My Friend's House staff raise the flag in front of the library this afternoon. 

FitzGerald reflected after the flag raising on the sentencing trial happening simultaneously. 

"I think it's pretty significant that James Schwalm is being sentenced today, because it's a story where, on the surface and in the community, he seemed like a good guy and nobody really knew what was happening behind the scenes," said FitzGerald in an interview with Collingwood Today. 

Schwalm has pleaded guilty to murdering his wife, Ashley Schwalm, 40, in their home while their children were asleep overnight between Jan. 25 and 26. As the case been before the courts, details have emerged about their relationship heading toward divorce. 

Schwalm strangled his wife, then dressed her body in hiking gear, drove her in her car to a mountain road and crashed it into a ditch before setting fire to it. He fabricated text messages and security footage to cover up the murder. 

The couple lived in Collingwood at the time. He was a captain on a GTA fire department when he killed his wife. 

His sentencing trial continues this afternoon in Barrie. 

"So many people were shocked to hear about the abuse in that relationship ending in murder," said FitzGerald. 

"One of the important things about women's shelters and why they were created was the fact that when women are considering leaving, they are at the greatest risk of being murdered," said FitzGerald. "I think the case of James Schwalm sort of demonstrates that, and that's why shelters exist today and why it's so important that the community supports us to keep our doors open for years to come." 

My Friend's House fields about 4,000 calls per year from women and children in crisis. The phone is answered day and night, and the shelter's 12-14 beds are always full. 

FitzGerald said she doesn't want that to deter anyone from seeking help, as the My Friend's House team will always make it work if a woman and her children need emergency shelter. 

"We want women to keep calling," she said. 

Over the last three decades, FitzGerald has seen some changes in the Collingwood community when it comes to the work of My Friend's House. 

"I'm seeing an increased understanding of violence against women and the importance of making sure that women are supported and children are supported," said FitzGerald. "People don't walk away from me anymore, they say, 'oh, what great work you are doing.'" 

She said it's always a lot of work to raise the funds needed to operate My Friend's House services each year, and noted there are many charities in Collingwood doing great work and competing for the donations that Collingwood and area residents are giving. 

And though the day's flag raising was well-supported and marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, FitzGerald said the work of My Friend's House goes on, and will for a long time. 

"The rates of violence against women aren't changing, and I have a sense that they're actually worsening," said FitzGerald. "We're starting to hear about youth relationships ending in murder as well. So the issue isn't going away. My Friend's House is not going to go away anytime soon." 

If you'd like to support My Friend's House with a donation this year, you can do so through their website myfriendshouse.ca.

PONDERING REALITY

Tropical Storm Sara letting her
lingering presence be known.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 16th, 2024

I took the beautiful picture I am sharing mid-morning yesterday. About twelve hours after Tropical Storm Sara hit our large resort compound with some serious authority.

Now, some may ponder the odds of heading to a resort in the Mayan Riviera and getting hammered by the weather like we did. Not us. When we began getting the alerts, we simply felt it was an extension of the storm that has surrounded us this entire year. 

Feeling a tad exhausted and somewhat defeated, I wandered down the beach and I posted a social media video story. I scanned the miles of high waves, to which I opened with... "Oh 2024, how you've challenged me." 

Now, you know I am all about the optimistic thought process of, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' But this has been such a crap year, I am almost ready to hold our next citrus offering up and squeezing the juice into my eyes; it may be a tad less painful.

Though I kid, my thoughts and glass half full of lemonade is focused on the up coming November 31st. 

That will be the day that my travel buddy hubby's brain will officially stop trying to heal itself. Whatever stroke symptoms he has will remain and be a part of our day-to-day reality.

At this point the right arm seems to have corrected itself but there are still lingering speech issues. 

His right-side leg is the one he had emergency surgery on to stop his internal bleeding, so I don't think we will ever truly understand which percentage of his challenges will be accident related vs. stroke related. What we do know, is that he will never walk as he did before.

Anyway, as I sit and type and ponder in Mexico, I feel I can sum up everything I know about life. 

Which is the fact that will always be always be tough, right up until the minute it isn't.

SILENT DANCE PARTY

We felt like teens sneaking out the window after Mom went to bed!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 13th (pm) & 14th (am), 2024

To set the tone for the point of my post, it was predetermined that on the day we landed at the resort (for ease and logistics) we would settle into our rooms and have dinner at the buffet. 

After we ate, the three of us grabbed a table and sat in the main lobby to enjoy five wonderful female Mexican musicians, all under the age of thirty, perform as a mariachi band. Their vocals were excellent.

With my sister not understanding their native Spanish lyrics, by 9:00pm she had decided to head back to her room to settle for the night. By 9:03pm, my travel buddy hubby had bolted to the resort trolley system, headed to the oceanfront silent dance party being held at a sister resort.

Now, the silent dance party is something new since the last time we'd visited, so I was keen.

You enter a very large space and the area is completely quiet. You sign out a sterilized set of wireless headphone and choose the genre of music you want to enjoy. No headphones, no music.

A number DJ's play music music on separate channels and your selected channel, which is identified by a specific LED colour on your headphones. 

I remember mentioning to my sister prior to departure that I wanted to attend, and she couldn't grasp the concept, immediately labeling it 'dumb'. For us, it was simply another activity we'd never tried before and thought it would be crazy bananas fun.

Anyway, once settled into the large sister resort lobby, our blue illuminated headsets found us dancing with a group of about ten others listening to the same song as us, with no words nor introductions required.

Proof, yet again, that music is truly the number one international language, and easiest way to connect with strangers.

... With a genuine smile, and positive energy, tied as runner ups for the same results!

TRAVEL DAY DROWSY

The three of us, in the air mid flight.
Just look at my sister on the end.
Adamant that she was unable to sleep on a plane!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 13th, 2024

When it comes to taking a vacation, coordinating great flight times has become an obsession of mine. Simply because we discovered more than a decade ago, arriving into YYZ in the middle of the night was a hard NO for my travel buddy hubby and I; no matter how big the savings were.

Now, when my sister decided she wanted to join us at our favourite Mayan Riviera resort for a week, I warned her of our early departure intentions, which in turn secured us a midday return flight the following week. 

Her big concern was, "...I can't sleep on a plane." In her defense, we are far more seasoned travelers than she. We can fall asleep as soon as those booming jet engines are engaged before we back away from the gate.

Staying at a hotel close to the airport the night of the 12th to be ready for a 5am Air Canada check-in, her travel anxiety was firing on all cylinders and she was up all night. 

When we woke early on our travel day morn, she was curled up in the TV room with a blanket. Once again anxiously reaffirming to us, again, "...I can't sleep on a plane."

Knowing we were dealing with her lack of sleep, her next hurdle was to adjust to the fact that the Toronto airport is one of the most technically savvy in the world. Your cell phone and your airline app, have essentially replaced paper for a swift progression through check-in, customs, and security.

Not to judge, rather paint a digital technology picture, my sister has an old school flip phone. One she is very proud of I might add. So, we hooked her up with an older android phone we had, and as uncomfortable (and overtired) as she was, she was good to go. 

So much so, that as soon as we checked in to our very large resort, I made sure she was comfortable calling us using a VoIP app I had set up for her. As I wanted to make communication between our rooms worry free.

On a final note. I wanted to touch on the fact that the word 'can't' has never been one I have ever embraced. For me, my mantra is really 'die trying...'  and I always seem to figure it out!

That said, I wish my sister would delete the sucker from her thesaurus, or at least aspire to try to minimize its use. 

Because, as you can see in my photo above... She really CAN sleep on a plane!!

MY HEAP-O-HELP

Our sweet Katie taking inventory of
every one of her sticks being burned
TAKEN: OCTOBER 24th, 2024

Up until my beloved Annie passed, I use to introduce her fur followers Miya and Katie like this.

"Meet our Miya, she is absolutely beautiful." Then, I would continue with,  "this is her little sister Katie... And she is simply beaut-EVIL!" 

It's always grabbed me a laugh to whomever was meeting them for the first time. But now that they are officially a pack of two, this little one has settled into not having to act out like she did, which I always felt was her puppydom combined with her need to be the center of attention.

At a mere twenty three months of age, I realize now how she struggled to fit in a pack of three. She always respected Annie as her pack leader, yet from the day she arrived, she terrorized Miya incessantly. I am pleased to report that said behavior has stopped since my sweet girl left us.

Now, I'm not in anyway leading you to believe that she has a halo over her head but her need to dominate over Miya is now very focused. 

You see, her retrieving instincts are so deeply routed through her DNA that we have to expel the energy multiple times daily. Frisbees, nerf footballs, rubber pigs, and of course wooden sticks.

Take a dog with no fear, that vibrates when you pick up a stick, and you can imagine how hard it is to do yardwork with a fire going. I'm not kidding when I type that I have to throw a stick into the gully before I place sticks on the fire; because I am afraid she'll jump in to fetch them.

Think a toddler sticking its tongue out an accessible electrical socket. Her extreme personality makes one of my very favourite outdoor chores, extremely stressful.

Which you would never guess by the angelic expression of joy she shoots at me whenever a fire is burning close by!

SHOVELING SUNSHINE

With only about 30% of the front leaves fallen,
it was time to start getting them moved into the gully.
TAKEN: OCTOBER 16th, 2024

It started last week. For my afternoon work break, I started shoveling the fallen leaves.  

You read that right, ‘shoveling’.

By dusk Thursday I knew I would spent the weekend in town, rather than going into the cottage. Simply because it hadn’t rained, and everything was dry. Shoveling dry foliage is much easier than the wet soaked crap, so by supper Saturday, though I was spent, all the leaves that had fallen to date were processed.

For those that have never tried it, I have been shoveling for years. You can simply move ten times more leaves by pushing them into the desired piles with a large snow scoop, rather than whisking a rake into the air trying to target where you want them to land if the wind cooperates.

I know I must look silly going through the motions, but I don't care. Believe it or not, my shovelling effort work more effectively than either of the two leaf blowers we own. Three if you count my travel buddy hubby plugging one of them in.

With 90% of the folks on the street retired and me working from home, I see and hear them moving leaves for weeks before we get on the band wagon. For us, it is a balance of finding the best time to blitz them, which usually happens when I see my neighbour next door blowing leaves back onto our lawn.

As I have always written here, I love fall. And this year has been a particularly memorable one weather wise.

The only downfall is I know what is on the way, and it is white, heavy, really annoying, and ALWAYS outstays its welcome.

Kind of like Donald Trump!

#yagottalaughaboutit 

A TABLE FOR TEN

As I finished cleaning up, I realized that 
I never took a single photo.
(You can spy my shadow taking this one in the glass.)
TAKEN: OCTOBER 12th, 2024

This past weekend, my travel buddy hubby and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner. Not a real news breaking headline, except for the fact that it had been the first time we’d hosted since 2008.

Part of the reason was for the last number of years we’ve always been away traveling. (When you only get a certain number of vacation days a year, the long weekends become your friend.) The other's that my father in law absolutely loves to host and cook for a house full.

The planning started about three weeks ago when I asked my sister how she would be celebrating. When she said she wouldn't be, I asked if she wanted me to come get her for the weekend. When she said yes, everything else just sort of fell into place.

Usually a table of more that twenty at Christmas, had us setting for an expected table for twelve; which ended up as a last minute table for ten.

Of course, I had to get twinkle lights and stock up on tea lights. Fresh fall flowers were also on my 'must have' list, as well as some very sexy fall table scatter. I don't know about you, but I absolutely love a nicely decorated table. 

The best Thanksgiving decoration of all? The fun, comedic banter, and great family energy we always share when we break bread!

That, and whom was sitting around our table this year, is what I am most thankful for. 

Their unconditional support during this very trying time means the world to us.

WE RESCUED STELLA!

Stella, who? 
Can't you see the yellow football? 
...We had a great day!!
TAKEN: OCTOBER 5th, 2024

Well, with the weather on our side, we headed to the cottage Saturday morn to begin the ritual of shutting it down.

Up the hill went a 42” Roku TV I’d used as an office monitor the last few years, as well as any/all perishable food we wouldn't need. Items of clothing that weren't officially labeled ‘cottage’ were packed for the season, including all my Quintana Roo appropriate swim wear. 

It was a long day, considering any other odds and sods that may freeze and make a mess when we open next spring we also packed and hauled. As a bonus, our washing machine was also drained and stored ahead of schedule.

The last thing we tackled was securing my beloved Stella (a.k.a the floating picnic table).

We had put her into Orillia Lake the long weekend in May, then three days later, all hell broke loose and my travel buddy hubby landed in St. Michael's hospital trauma unit for three weeks.

I know to most, pulling an old picnic table out of the water may not be considered a mentionable accomplishment. But, the fact that my guy could do the stairs and the ramp to help me pull Stella out of the lake and safe for the winter was amazing. When he made it to the first landing, he looked over the railing, acknowledging that this was 'the first time I have been down here all summer'.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a more significant milestone. Last month, the stroke clinic assured him, his hard work was really paying off. Did you know that if you suffer a stroke, your brain only tries to heal for the first six months?

Though I worried he was pushing it, him doing the stairs at the cottage actually worked in his favour. 

Him not being a quitter, has 95% of his stoke symptoms gone; the 5% remaining are very minor, and we have 54 days left on the calendar for  those to subside. We are grateful.

Here's looking to next year, and Stella getting the workout she has in the past. 

Stella and me both!

HER LAST HURRAH

The truth of the matter is I knew when I made the decision to take Annie up the hill at the cottage on September 3rd, she would never come back down. 

I suppose that’s why I took the photos I am sharing above. My 'spidey sense' told me the summer of 2024 would be her last hurrah at Orillia Lake.

Not able to do the stairs, you can see from the one the left that she was exhausted taking the ATV trail. You can spy Miya in the top corner, rubbernecking, wondering why she wasn't leading.

On the right, you can see the saliva accumulation I’ve mentioned previously. That said, I was grateful to snap the Oreo Gang in their familiar formation one last time. My girl was struggling to hold her head and tail high. I knew when I took the picture that our journey as a pack was definitely shifting.

Her decline was reminiscent of what our Dottie went through, so I felt I understood what was on our horizon. I guess my shock and grief are compounded immensely because I had no clue, she would be dead 48 hours later.

Well, today would have been her birthday. As a tribute to her, I updated my cover photo on social media.  It hadn’t previously changed in more than two years.

Gone is the tribute of Puddin’ jumping off the dock (posted the day she passed in June 2022). 

Posted now, is the photo below that I a took of the Oreo Gang almost a year ago. I suspect it will remain in place for a very long time. 

...Because it simply warms my whole heart.

Happy Birthday my Annie. Your Mama sure misses you xo

A great picture of the Oreo Gang in formation,
watching the squirrels.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 19th, 2023

PROCESSING PUPPY LOVE

Annie arrived back at the cottage
Thursday September 19th. 
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 21st, 2024

As I sit and stare at my screen of the photo I snapped of my two beautiful girls, together again, I just can't seem to find the words. I still haven't fully processed that my amazing Annie left us so soon. 

Who knew when I took her up the hill at the cottage to see Dr. Robyn on September 3rd, that she would be gone two days later.

The only thing that is helping my heart start to heal, is that her suffering was short lived. And, that I wasn't unreasonable in making the swift decision to let her go. Doing it while she was already sedated for her throat scope was the best choice that I could have made for her.

To compound my lingering emotions, last Thursday when I went to pick her up and brought her down the hill to spend the rest of the season with me at the cottage, I was teary eyed to find sympathy card signed by everyone at the Trillium Lakes Animal Hospital. 

"Annie was such a wonderful girl," Dr. Robyn wrote. "I am so sorry we couldn't do more for her." ...Her and me both.

When you have a strong bond with an animal, it feels like a part of you leaves with them when they leave you. This loss, has been by far the most difficult pet loss to process. She went everywhere with me, and was never more than a couple of feet from me at all times. 

As I continually reflect, our Puddin' lived comfortably with cancer for a couple of years. Annie lived uncomfortably for a week. Though I was extremely heart broken when Puddin' parted, I was given time to accept her fate was looming. 

Along with the shock of all of this, it has also impacted what remains of version two of the Oreo Gang. Though they seem to have finally settled into there own as a pack of two these last couple of weeks, they definitely looked for Annie at length.

Anyway, as we move forward with an energetic 3 year old black lab with an old soul,  and super speedy hyper-manic 20 month old yellow lab, version three of the Oreo Gang's definitely something that won't be entertained for a couple of years.

Oh, don't get me wrong, fearing the worst I called our wonderful breeder the day I brought Annie up the hill and her advice definitely resonated. "If you get another one right away", she cautioned. "They will all be passing along at the same time."

...And I simply don't think my heart could ever take a gigantic impact like that.

REST EASY MY ANNIE

As clear as day, I remember the exact moment we found our beautiful Annie. I was sitting on the balcony watching the sunset in a resort in La Romana, when I received a Facebook alert for puppies for sale.

Once back in Muskoka, we discovered that she was only five weeks old and too young to leave her mama. The owner was adamant, “we have to get them out of here, they are keeping us up at night.” My husband immediately scooped her up; and got her the hell out of dodge.

The price for her freedom? A mere $40.00. To this day, it has been the best forty bucks we have ever spent!

Anyway, once we got her home, we discovered that she was starving. She was unable to lap nor eat soften food properly, so we stayed up with her round the clock. In those first 36 hours, I swear she knew we’d saved her life. I also believe she knew she had stolen our hearts.

Well, it was a world wind week that started with a slight head tilt and some drooling, which is why I booked her in to see Dr. Robyn. 

Though she could find nothing conclusive, we decided to try a round of anti-inflammatory medication for a sore neck. Reacting physically after her second dose, she endured the long weekend in steady decline. 

I returned panicked the following Tuesday, which had us progress to full blood work (that was also inconclusive). Returning to the vet Wednesday, we decided to try anti-nausea medicine with no result. 

Then, Annie's inability to eat to eat or drink led us to do a sedated throat scope Thursday afternoon in search of a blockage. While she was under, we made the difficult decision to euthanize her.  

You see, the reason she was no longer eating or drinking was because the vet felt she no longer knew how to. Her extremely aggressive brain tumor had stolen her from us in a mere seven days.

Though I know we made the right decision, it doesn't make the pain any less bearable. Truth is I am somewhat lost, definitely distraught, and my heart aches to the point where I am still having trouble sleeping.

I guess I just have to keep telling myself, though her death ended her time with me, it will never change our strong bond and very special relationship. 

Take a load off, Annie. Rest and sleep easy my beautiful girl.

I loved you your entire life, and will love and cherish you for the rest of mine.

FOR WHAT IT’s WORTH

My wee Annie taking in views
from her new anti-anxiety bed.
TAKEN: AUGUST 23rd, 2024

For what it’s worth, I hope I never experience another summer like the one I'm currently living. As I go through the motions for the last long weekend of the season, I am folding like a lawn chair and willingly admitting that I am spent.

Between medical trauma at home, multiple personal losses of loved ones, and day to day work stresses, this past week was the last straw. We were worried we were going to have to say goodbye to our Annie. 

Then, after a visit to the vet yesterday, and $400 later, she is home. They have no clue why she is ailing and what is going on with her. Par for the course for the summer of 2024; as it has been a summer of limbo. 

Seriously, the only thing missing from that visual being the catchy tune playing and Chubby Checker singing, because yours truly has been bending over backwards (to the point of breaking) since mid May.

That said, I want everyone to know that I know better than most the symptoms of depression. I honestly don’t feel depressed, simply overwhelmed and ultimately deflated.

What I will share, is that come hell or high water, this whole ‘one step forward, four steps backward’ bullshit needs to come to an end.

And though I try and pride myself on keeping my glass half full, somedays it feels like the water has been turned off at the spigot and the lake in front of me drained dry.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I know my fear of the unknown is making me feel uncertain, which I have alluded to in previous posts.

Anyway, the other side of my ‘bitching about my really shitty summer coin’ is my more immediate remedy to help my negative mindset will be loudly listening to the Top 500 countdown on Rock95 outside all weekend. Forecast says it may be under an umbrella, as we have scheduled rain in the forecast.

See, that’s the forward and backward thing I just referenced. 

Hey, maybe I was just meant to master the Cha-Cha this summer. If that’s the case, call Dancing With The Stars.

...Because these last three months have deemed me a freaking PRO in that category!

#yagottalaughaboutit