I IS FOR IRRATIONAL

No other words required!!
(Image via: scmp.com)

H IS FOR HANGRY

It's that time of year again, where you pay for your winter weight!
(Images from hiyu.com)

G IS FOR GRASS

I am a firm believer that the grass is never greener on the other side.
It only appears that way... Because it's showered with bullshit!

F IS FOR FITNESS

Driving by Snap Fitness yesterday, I laughed aloud when I read their marquee: “If your dog is fat… You're not getting enough exercise!” 

Personally, I thought the message was brilliant.

I walk far more than the recommended 10,000 steps a day, and I am very outgoing in every other facet of my life. I watch what I eat, and I certainly don't feel nor act my age.

Keeping with that last thought, my personal fitness guru was telling me that eating chocolate releases the same endorphins as having an orgasm.  Intrigued by the statement, I decided to do some basic math. 

The average chocolate bar contains 884 calories.  Having sex, can burn up to 300 calories per half hour.

Dottie enjoying our Book Club offering!
TAKEN: JULY 2012

Hmmm, I say the perfect solution is to enjoy an amazing two hour romp, and avoid any type of chocolate offering all together. 

That gives me a big bonus 1200 calories burned, and a perma smile that will stay with me way longer than any silly Kit Kat bar can possibly offer!

Now that right there is some serious calorie counting I can throw my back into! Guess I need to whip my husband into shape.

Whip? Maybe, not.

Blindfold? Definitely, MAYBE!

E IS FOR EGO

Can anyone relate to this?
I most certainly can!

D IS FOR DECADES

I will start by apologizing to my subscribers. 

I've had two unexpected deaths in our family, which has left me a week behind in my April A-Z Blogging Challenge. So, you will receive an entire weeks' worth of posts today and tomorrow. 

Truth is, I considered quitting. Then I realized I didn't want to. I figured I would give it a good push in an effort to get back on schedule by Easter Monday April 13th.

The letter D was harder than I thought it would be, because I'd decided to post a various pictures of myself from each decade. Finding them was the challenge. I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks for your patience,

Rhondi

Pretty Curls
TAKEN: DECEMBER 1969

Lake Louise with my Mama
TAKEN: JULY 1976

High School Daze
TAKEN: MAY 1984

Tampa, Florida
TAKEN: APRIL 1989

Labour Day Monday at Santa's Village
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 1996

The summer we lived at the cottage.
TAKEN: JULY 2002

Sweetie & Me ~ Westin Harbour Castle
TAKEN: MAY 2008

Top of El Arco - Mazatlan, Mexico
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2019

C IS FOR CANADA

I will always be proud and free. With an amazing sense of humour!
TAKEN: OCTOBER 2016

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada...

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada .. 

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada . 

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation With someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada . 

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere South of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada . 

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada . 

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, 

You may live in Canada . 

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You may live in Canada . 

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada . 

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada 

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada . 

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- you're going 95 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada . 

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada . 

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada . 

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada . 

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada . 

If you actually understand these jokes, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

B IS FOR BIRTHDAY

Happy Birthday to ME.
TAKEN: APRIL 1982

Well, it’s that time of year again. 

You know, when your special day rolls around on the calendar to remind you that you're one step closer to support hose, dentures, and really long afternoon naps!

I may be turning older this month, but this year the day will be considerably different than my last. I had a great birthday last year (probably one of the best ever) but my mindset wasn’t as good as it is this year. Like I always say, change is good.

As busy as I am, I know my day will come and go. I'm hopeful the odd person will wish me all the best, I’ll be grateful, I always am.

There will not be a cake. No gifts will be given. I’ll look in the mirror, thank God I am alive, and pray in the coming year I don’t fall and break a hip.

Anyway, because I've never really celebrated my birthday, there are very few pictures marking the specific day. The photo I am sharing was taken thirty something years ago next week. 

The cake and photo were courtesy of my favourite cousin Joanne, and the pic was snapped at their kitchen counter in North Bay. I remember that very day, it was a Saturday. I remember I was happy and it was a very happy time in my life. 

All of that said, the fact that it’s my birthday month means I get to do my math any way I choose...

This year, I'll be one very happy 29 year old!!

A IS FOR APRIL A-Z

No hair. No Makeup. Just good clean fun.
BOY I miss that!!
Taken: OCTOBER 2017

A IS FOR APRIL A-Z: 

A crazy month, that will

Push me to

Rejuvenate Rhondi,

Inspire others and 

Laugh a lot.

It’s that time of year again, when I look inward and ponder if want to torture myself with the annual April A-Z Blogging Challenge. Well, apparently, I decided today that I do. 

Truth of the matter is that I miss writing AND I miss my super silly electronic journal. Not because people read it, more because after Christmas I began emotionally eating rather than venting (in a somewhat comedic fashion) via my computer keyboard; then posting here.

That simple shift was epic for me, leaving the majority of the items in my closet hiding out with all my odd dryer socks, terrified to be chosen as a part of my morning dressing ritual. 

Anyway, as we venture into this coming month of 2020, where social distancing has become the new norm, I think I'll have a thing or two to say.  Not to bitch or vent (intentionally), more to help others cope, offering a sprinkle of humour and hopefully a side order of sarcasm and wit.

Hang in there peeps. This is the 8th time we've taken this journey together, and my advice to you hasn't changed.

Keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times!

PET-HOUSE FORUM

There’s no easy way to admit that I feel like this post is going to start like 99% of all Penthouse Forum letters ever published; with a statement admitting, ‘I never thought anything like this could ever happen to me!’

As you know, when our nest emptied, the dogs pretty much inherited our focus.

They sleep with us, travel with us, and share every single meal I eat.

I actually talk to them as if they’re humans, and trust me, they listen better than the majority of the coworkers I’ve had in the last decade.

Anyway, no matter what the time of year, Saturday has always been their day. From the time we wake up, they get the majority of our words and effort, which I recently discovered isn’t a good thing.

This past weekend was a busy one. We helped family move on Saturday and we had the fundraiser for our buddy Duncan on Saturday night. The day started early and ended in the early hours of the following morning.

My point isn’t that I managed to stay up past my regular 10pm bedtime, more about what the consequences look like for skipping a Saturday doggie day.

Three guesses whom chewed my $100+ handbag! No names please. Annie!!
TAKEN: MARCH 8th, 2020

So I must say, I think the March 7th chewing fiasco was the result of one of the following items:

1. Annie is truly being a BFF in that the pattern of the purse was really quite hideous and she was saving me from any further fashion embarrassment.
2. The handbag just happened to fall into her "favourite flavour" category, kinda like any potato chip for me (which in future I will avoid purchasing her any Nine West offerings).
OR
3. People have been feeding her dog treats through the open window in the Wal-Mart parking lot on Saturdays, and she was simply jonesing, in need of a fix.
(ie: Purse handles... The NEW beef jerky for dogs!)

Either way, I must admit. 'I never thought anything like this could ever happen to me!’ 

#yagottalaughaboutit

A FRIEND IN NEED

Let's all pull together to help Duncan!
(Photo usage permissions given)

I’m not exactly sure why, but there’s something truly extraordinary about staying connected with childhood friends.

Part of me leans toward the fact that even though we may have grown apart socially or geographically, our formative years were spent discovering so many life lessons together, we generally work to remain linked.

That said, the other side of today’s very insightful coin is that there’s never a good way to deliver bad news. And last week, we received some heart wrenching news about our lifelong friend, Duncan MacDonald.

If you’ve never met Duncan, I’m sad to say you’ve been deprived of an amazing energy like no other. In the last thirty years, never once have I bumped into him that he didn’t call me by name, with a cheerful hello, and an ear to ear smile. He is extremely humble and personifies a positive person.

Well, this fine lad has had an unexpected set back. He woke about a week ago, in excruciating pain, unable to walk. Suffice it to say, he has been given a diagnosis that has a long road map to recovery attached. 

So, I am doing something I've never done since I began this silly electronic journal almost ten years ago. I’d like to ask for your help.

There is a fundraiser being held for him at the Bracebridge Legion (168 Muskoka Rd S) on Saturday March 7th at 7 pm. Tickets are $20.

Ideally I’d like to see you there, but feel free to buy a ticket to simply help, or message me directly if you'd like to make a personal or corporate donation.

If none of the above work for you, I'd like to ask you to do something equally as valuable - and share my post to help others know Duncan is in hospital.

Let’s face it. I don’t know what I’d do if this ever happened to me.

What I do know is, that Duncan MacDonald would immediately get in touch with my husband, to find out what HE could do to help.

...Because that's just that kinda guy he is!

MY GARAGE BAND-AID

I am a firm believer that if I haven’t used something I have stored within the last 12 months that it needs to be regifted, recycled, or properly disposed of. With a formal caveat - it CAN NOT belong to one of the kids!

I'm serious. The above claim is written in ink and not pencil and I am pleased to report that for the last four or five years, the double car garage at the homestead has been filled with extra furniture and appliances belonging to the aforementioned offspring.

If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's your. If it doesn't, it never was.
TAKEN: BUSKING 2018, CUBA 2017, LAKE SIMCOE 2016

Most of it landed in there as a result of them returning home for a brief stint, eventually moving in with a roommate, accumulating items that were classified as over flow. Over the recent holiday break, everything was pulled out, sorted through and dealt with accordingly.

The goal was simple. To dig out and once again set up my killer home office that I’d strategically packed in there a little over 5 years ago.

In digging for that treasure, I came across an old drum kit belonging to Jukebox. For some reason, I just stared at it before I began moving it. Truth is I stood completely frozen as the last decade simply flashed before my eyes; the good, the bad and the ugly.

Which leads me to my point. Nothing prepares you for an empty nest.

I’m sure it’s because there’s no regulated handbook for parenting. By the time they're ready to graduate high school, they typically think we totally suck and our speaking voice is worse than nails on the proverbial chalkboard.

To be brutally honest, I think I went through the “I’m your mother” motions far longer than ever needed. I clung on for dear life until I was eventually replaced by their personal voice and understanding, proving mine no longer mattered.

In everything I have experienced on my journey, I feel this was the toughest mom lesson I learned. The worst part is that I’m so thick, I needed to learn it three times. All individual, very painful life lessons.

Anyway, sitting here typing, my mind is flooded with thoughts of my life these past 30 years. Which is why I will be always be forever grateful for my double car garage. 

It’s like I can close my eyes and I can hear their young voices bellowing again.

I can hear that high school garage band practicing, the giggling girls definitely talking about boys, with the picnic table front and centre and the music blaring.

Yep, just like that… They’re all instantly home again!

Where does the time go?

QUIET QUESTMAS

Proof of a very quiet Questmas Eve!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 24th, 2019

Well, this morning I took down the holiday tree and shuffled all its complimentary accessories into storage beneath the stairs. The holidays were very quiet for me this year. I am pleased to report that my quest for rest and relaxation was definitely accomplished.

As things stand now, I’m not headed into the sun this winter. Instead, I am headed into downtown Toronto to participate in a six week digital technologies course, at a cutting edge learning hub. (I’ll head to the GTA after work every Friday and head home by dusk on Saturday.)

Since enrolling, I’ve been talking to a couple of my closest confidants about this opportunity and how excited I truly am.

I’ve been involved in digital marketing before most understood the reach and power online media offers. With my current digital footprint being what I would classify as decent, I can't express how excited I am to be gaining even more knowledge.

That said, participating in this course will do one of two things. Affirm my current success has been thanks to skills I have honed on my own. OR, reprogram my thought process to maximize my skill set that will ultimately take me to another level in my career; no matter which, it will be a win-win scenario for yours truly.

As I hit publish on my first post for 2020, I can’t believe that I am going to actually admit that I am looking forward to the rest of this winter.

I know, eh?!

Let's just hope Mother Nature doesn’t fly off her meds for my six week commute.

REMEMBERING 2019

Most Significant Moment: 

The unexpected and very tragic passing of my sister in law Pamela Peacock.

She passed October 28th, 2019 and was only 39 years old. 

Pictured here in the middle, may this beautiful face, forever rest in peace.

My year in the rear view!
TAKEN: Throughout 2019

January:  My renovation project 'Popcorn Ceiling Begone' got underway. It lasted three months and the next floor gets underway again in January 2020. 

February: Spent an amazing week walking the miles of beach in Cayo Coco, Cuba.

March: My Spotti Dotti and her best friend by the bonfire. (Her very favourite thing to do!)

April: My birthday trip to New York City. It was amazing having my son as my tour guide and seeing Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden.

May: Took a Mommy/Daughter weekend trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. Here she is on Bourbon Street!!

June: My beloved Toronto Raptors won the 2019 NBA title.

July: The very difficult decision was made to allow Dot to finally sleep easy and rest in peace.

August: Spent the majority of this month and next living with the pups at the cottage. The solitude was exactly what I needed.

September: Played hostess for our company's bi-annual team building fishing trip on the west end of Lake Nippissing.

October: Was sickened by the entire federal election campaign bullshit that took place.

November: During my week long vacation I hiked to the top to the El Faro Lighthouse in Mexico

December: A whirlwind month that finally slowed down on Christmas Eve. Marking, what will hopefully be, a couple of new traditions.

Bullet points aside, this past year had me dealing with serious illness, the loss of several cherished loved ones, as well as a fur baby. 

I think a combination of all of the events is why now, more than ever, I am going to try not to focus my energy on others that aren't going to enhance my personal life and my loved ones around me for the better. 

As I have written here before, I believe sometimes all people need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. I think that is going to be my motto for the next year and surround myself accordingly.

Welcome 2020. 

Let's make it one of the best ones yet!

BOOK-A-BOO

As a child I remember my mother being a collector of books. She had hundreds of them which now reside with my brother. My sister’s a bookworm as well. She went as far as to begin writing one. I don’t fit into either of those categories.

Though I love to read a good novel I rarely find the time. I will admit one of my favourite pastimes is to spend hours upon hours trolling the aisles of a local two story used book store called The Owl Pen. I've never read the last page the way Hollywood hypes it as an option, rather find myself fixated in a section reading the backs forever searching for a specific fit.

As a busy working mom, spare time was never plentiful. So, since the children were small, I’d always make time to read when we’d travel. Because there was five of us, we usually drove to South Carolina for Easter week. 

The twins were about two when I started reading a grand total of four books a year. Two in the mini-van on the way there, and two on the way home.

With the kids grown and gone, nowadays I tend to only make it into The Owl Pen the Saturday before I get on a plane; and a few times each summer to stock up my bookshelf at the cottage.

Just like my favourite pair of fuzzy socks, I know what I like and I want what I know. Therefore, I and never venture very far away from good non-fiction and a handful of writers of fiction I like.

So you can imagine my shock (when on vaycay in Mexico last month) a passive aggressive electronic friend backhandedly 'book shamed' me via text message.

Check out my sexy bookmark & killer tan in process on the bottom left!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 26th - DECEMBER 3rd 2019

When I shared that I was excited to read the new Nicolas Sparks book, they countered with ‘my girls use to like to read him when they were in high school’. Inferring that I was stuck at a school girl level of reading?

Though there were several jabs before this one and several other reasons why, suffice it to say I haven’t sent a text message since. Yet, as I curl up next to the fire I can't help but reflect. You know, I truly feel Hemingway said it best with... ‘there’s no friend as loyal as a book!’

I wonder if Jane Austen or F. Scott would concur?