I is for… INEZ

Growing up I remember always thinking what an odd first name my mother had. It had so many pronunciation options; to this day, I am not really sure which is correct.  Just like her name, she was unique.

I know that a lot of people reading this will have mixed emotions about my mother. At the end of the day; she was just that, my mother. You always look to both of your parents to understand how you've evolved into the person you are today. When it comes to my mom, I know that I have inherited some very specific traits.

My mother loved music and books. I was lucky enough to get her amazing 78 rpm record collection, and my brother Pierre was gifted her wall of books. Just like her, I too love both very much. She had an amazing ability to manage and save money, complimented by a very astute business sense. Ding, ding, ding, I lucked out in those departments too. Then there's my smile. I have been blessed with my mother’s smile.

April 10, 2013 - INEZ (Perrault - St.Onge)

Photo Credit: The North Bay Nugget (circa 1948)
TAG: Raising Awareness About ALS.blogspot.com

You know what they say: A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter stays yours all of your life…

I did just that. She passed in February 1987 but I got to spend the last six months with her every single day.

I was her caregiver. We kept  each  other company, and I never once let her know that I was really scared too.

All these decades later I think of her often. How she was so young when her life ended.

There are so many things I wish she could have been alive to witness. She really did have a beautiful heart. I was just the one that got to see it most often; I will always be eternally grateful for that.

Thanks Mom. You did a really great job with me. Just like you taught me... I fight for what I believe in and I've never given up!

H Is For... HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Well, it’s that time of year again. You know "that time"? When your special day rolls around on the calendar to remind you that you're one step closer to support hose, dentures, and really long afternoon naps!

I may be another year older, but this year the day will be considerably different than last. I had a great birthday last year (probably one of the best ever) but my mindset wasn’t as good as it is this year. Like I always say, change is good! 

As busy as I am, I know my day will come and go. I'm hopeful the odd person will wish me all the best; I’ll be grateful, I always am. There will not be a cake. No gifts will be given. That's not true; I know I will give myself one very specific gift. I’ll look in the mirror, thank God I am alive, and pray another year passes, and I don’t fall and break a hip.

April 9th, 2012 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Taken: April 1982

Because I've never really celebrated my birthday, there are very few pictures marking the specific day. 

The photo I am posting was taken thirty one years ago this week. The cake and photo were courtesy of my favourite cousin Joanne, and the pic was snapped at their kitchen counter in North Bay. 

Look at me! Who was that girl all those years ago?

I remember that very day (it was a Saturday). I remember I was happy. It was a very happy time in my life. Better yet? I know that on this day thirty one years later, the answer is exactly the same!

Lastly? The fact that it’s my birthday week means that I get to do my math any way I choose...

This year? I am one very happy 29 year old!!

G Is For... GIFT

Audrey Hepburn once said “you can always tell what a man really thinks of you by the earrings he gives you.” I have only been given one pair of earrings my entire life. They were extravagant solitaire diamonds, and they were beautiful. I lost one about ten years ago, but the other still sits in my jewelry box to this day. They were given as a gift. An expression of love.

I have been married for almost a quarter century, and the earrings were not from my husband. My comment wasn't to share about the earrings per say, but to illustrate the fact that gifting has never been something I have a whole lot of experience with. My husband has never been one to land at home with a gift “just because”. However, I'll jump to his complete and unconditional defense admitting that neither have I.

April 8th, 2013 - GIFTS
Taken: Myrtle Beach SC (Xmas 1997)

In the early years it was a money thing. Today we both just find the whole gifting to each other expectation a little silly.

After all these years together, by refraining from the exercise, sometimes I wonder if that's why neither of us aren't even remotely materialistic people

When it comes to us, there's never been some underlying expectation that the next gift will out shine the last. We need something we buy it. We don't need it, we don't have it.

Both of us were raised to appreciate that the best gifts in life come from the heart rather than from a shopping mall. I wish I could admit that when it came to our children we didn't over indulge, but at least we always tried to make them prioritize what they desired most.

At the end of the day, the earrings may have been the most expensive gift I have ever been given, but they are nowhere near my most treasured by far. That gift, is something that I have just recently given myself.

It's called hope.

F Is For… FRENEMY

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m a good friend. Cross me and I’ll kill ya.

Because I deal with business people all day long, I rarely let them thar folks into what I would consider my "real life". I am very much a “this is my space; that is your space” kind of gal. For the better part of a decade, only twice have I allowed a professional acquaintance to truly (unconditionally) cross over into my personal life.

One of those two is my very best electronic friend. If I don't hear from them I truly worry.

The other, I met a couple of years ago. They are much closer in distance but that's not my point. We chatted (past tense) all the time, golfed together when opportunity presented itself, and leaned on each other for support as we both worked in the same industry.

At the end of the day, they were not what I would consider a true friend all; turns out they were just simply a FRENEMY. You know the type? Someone that you believe is your friend then they turn around and use you to get themselves ahead in business. A much harsher descriptive word comes mind in this instance, but frenemy will have to do.

April 6th, 2013 - FRENEMY

This eyes wide open moment is exactly why I don’t let business relationships crossover into my everyday life.

Business is business, and friendship encapsulates  a completely different level of my personality mechanics. I know from experience that it's trouble just looking for trouble. Hence the very solid boundaries!

I really hate two faced people, I mean frenemies. They always prove themselves by stabbing you in the back. I know what you’re going to say; in business, everyone stabs everyone in the back.

If we’re friends in business don’t you think I deserve a little respect? For crying out loud; stab me in the front!

At least I would see it coming.

E is For…EULOGY

This post is dedicated to my Auntie Joan Theresa Perrault McNally who passed away January 13, 2013 and her Memorial Service is tomorrow. 

May she forever Rest In Peace.

April 5th, 2013 - EULOGY
RIP Auntie Joan. You were one amazing lady.

It started when I was in Grade 8. It was Labour Day weekend and my Dad received the call. If he

wanted to see his father before he passed, he had to leave right away. By the time he had packed his bag the second call arrived; my Pépére was gone.

That December my mother’s mother passed, and from that point on, death has always had a front seat in my life.

I nursed both my parents to their death by the time I was 40, but I think it was attending the funeral of the first person I ever fell in love with, that made everything really resonate. Life is short.

Because death haunts me to the core; listening to someone delivering someone’s final exhalation, helps me process the loss and aid with the grieving process. What better tribute than to hear the song that reminds you of most of them, or a video they have prepared for their young children to help them say good bye. Just typing that makes me think of how many times I have unexpectedly experienced the ritual, swells my heart and dampens my eyes.

For me any eulogy is a sign of unconditional love. It`s opens my heart as wide as it can go. When it comes to me, my thoughts are few and my wishes fewer; all I can do is hope that when my time comes there is laughter. I don’t want people to be sad. I have worked my entire life not to be sad.

When my eulogy is delivered, just like my Auntie Joan I hope that they start with: I am really going to miss Rhondi. She unconditionally loved life. She never EVER gave up!

D is For… DRIVE

Drive is one of the most common words in my vocabulary. When it comes to my car; it’s defined by a licence, my overall ability, and a really great stereo. When it comes to my personality; it’s defined by desire, determination, and passion. When it comes to my game; it's my very favourite golf club. Matter a fact, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside each time I step up to the tee.

There is a definite balance of all three in my day to day life. Bought new Taylor Made golf clubs last year and my drive improved so much that when my ball took flight, it travelled so far that thing was showing a movie! I am equally intense about my personal drive; I've always had it, hope I always will. The downside? This time last year I had the burning desire to drive a car as well. Sad fact is that it was to drive really fast, and the hell out of town this sleepy little town!

What can I say, life is tough right up until the moment it isn’t. Doesn’t matter if your golf game has a case of the shanks, your career isn’t where you expected it to be, or your personal life is in the toilet; the only one that can keep your life together is you. Feel free to blame others for your lot in life, but there's no one else but you driving the proverbial bus called life.

April 4, 2013 - DRIVE
Taken: Downtown Toronto January 27, 2013

What a difference a year makes. Seems this year  I just can't get enough of a good daytrip that always leads me home.

I love having my head out the window, the wind in my hair, the bugs in my teeth, with not a care in the world. OK that's my dogs but it makes my point.

Is that my problem right there in a nutshell? Am I just too dang busy trying to my life through others? Guess my lunch with Jeff Gordon is on the back burner. Pfft... Figures!

If you honestly believe that I don't know who I am and what I want, I have a parcel of swamp land in Florida. I'm in Sales. Any takers?

C Is For… CAMERA

From a very young age I have always enjoyed photography. In High School I use to take pictures with a 35mm Canon my older brother had bought my parents for Christmas;  but if recollection serves me correctly, it was after my mother passed in 1987 that the bug really took hold of me.

April 3rd, 2013 - CAMERA
Taken: March 29th, 2013

The photo I am posting was taken this past Easter weekend while I was out for a toot around the Lakes.

When I pulled into the landing (as an avid swimmer) I was thinking my C post was going to be C-C-C-COLD.

As I approached the water (and the colours were so vibrant) my thought process shifted to  CHAIRS.

As I crouched to take this photo, all the bells and whistles went off in my head. Ding Ding Ding CAMERA won the coin toss!

Funny how things happen. I had a friend take a picture of his family in these very chairs and share it with me. It was an amazing photo. In fact, I thought of him in the moment as my shutter closed.

I couldn't help but reflect on what a difference the lapse of seasons makes to a setting. When he snapped his photo, the buzz would have been energizing. When I snapped mine, I was totally alone in my thoughts. His was picture of sheer camaraderie, mine is one of chosen solitude.

His defined the summer excitement in Muskoka. Mine? That my intimate spring picture at the landing's worth a very different thousand words.

B Is For… BUBBLE BATH

What do I love more than having a bubble bath? Making it a bubble bath for two!

I’m not talking when the dogs set their chin on the side of the tub, or my husband's standing over top of me asking if he needs to pick up the mail (or something at the grocery store). I’m talking about the very best kind...

You know the one? When you have to add more hot water because the first batch has cooled off, and you're both in such a relaxed state, that you don’t want it to end. My favourite thing? When  candles get lit, and you listen to music together. Better yet, where the mirror gets steamy, and your glass of wine remains chilled.

That right there is what I consider to be the perfect bubble bath. You know the type? The one you never make time, nor ever take the time, to have!

April 2nd, 2013 - Bubble Bath
Taken: Feb 5th, 2012

Hey... Aside from it being by favourite thing to do, I have to ask the question; do I get two points for the double B’s?

Hey look at me go!

Big Boobs

Beautiful Bracebridge

Bad Breath

Ball Breaker

BMLSS Broncos

Big Bird

Blackfly Bites

or

Baby Boomer

Better yet, how about BLISSFULLY BADGERING B for 3?

What can I say? Take the easy points when they're there for the taking! Lord knows that I have worked really hard for every single one I have ever earned and then some!!

A Is For… ADMIRATION

I’m not sure why I picked this word when I could have gone with abstinence, aerobics or even with what I am; which is abnormal. Guess I chose it because all of my life I have been a die-hard admirer.

April 1st, 2013 - ADMIRATION

The people, places, things I admire change regularly; I’d like to think that happens because I never want to stop learning. 

Take this post for example. I admire Arlee Bird for founding the A-Z Blogging Challenge (Happy Birthday Arlee). His commitment and vision inspire me. The more I understand what it is I am participating in, the more it amazes me.

I admire all of you for reading. Just look how far we’ve come in such a short period of time! Knowing that you read, gives me something to look forward to, so thank you very much.

What else do I admire? I admire my husband. I am filled with admiration at the thought that after all of these years (of me being a complete and total bitch) he’ll still reach to hold my hand as we stroll across a grocery store parking lot. I admire our children. Who will look back at the life we have given them, knowing that we worked hard for them, and realize that we really did do our best.

Most of all? I admire that I know I will never stop dreaming (no matter how small my dream may be).

 I admire that you taught me that B. You truly are one of a kind!

Brace Yourselves Kind Folk…

Trekked into the cottage and enjoyed an amazing Spring day yesterday. For once, it was my husbands idea to head in and relax (before the shitith hitith the fan). It'll be a very crazy month for  me but that's part of the fun right?

Thanks Tony!

Taken: Orillia Lake... Forever Ago

I’m not sure why I took on this A-Z Challenge; I’ll be honest, I am not sure I will be able to finish. I have always been pretty driven, so I guess that's why I am willing to try.

How be we all just fold and give me an E for effort in general shall we?

My first EFFORT is tomorrow. Seems like there are very few Canadians involved; so I can’t promise I will even get noticed. That said, if you like a particular post, please share it. I promise I will keep them brief. A quick boo (even at why I chose the letter for the day) is all I ask.

Before it starts, I wanna send out a great big thank you. Thanks for understanding Tony. You know I will make it up to you  the first weekend in May!

Speaking of the first weekend in May. Can you have the water, septic, and outdoor shower hooked up at Orillia Lake by then?

Shoot. Let me guess, too far? CRAP...I knew it! I'm sorry. They were on my list of things to do and you know old habits die really hard...

Let's go this route. Anything on the list you can get crossed off before the first weekend in May will be greatly appreciated. xoxo

A Wee Fly In The Ointment!

As I began hatching my A-Z plan, it dawned on me that I have a compounded problem. That is, well, really big.

This weekend is Easter. Happy Easter ALL. I work this weekend. Next week is Cottage Life, the week after I am in the City for my birthday, and the week after that I head away on vacation with my sister until the end of the month.

As I sit here shaking my head (at the magnitude of the commitments I've made) I think I need my freaking head examined. Am I a total sucker for punishment? Don't answer that! 

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

As a prelude, I was chatting with an electronic friend last night and they offered me some advice “just keep moving...it is when you stop that you have to worry” he said. 

Seriously? That’s all ya got? A real friend would jump right in there and say “you can do it; I know you can” or “to help, I’ll post for you the four days you’re driving”.

Better yet “I’m made of money. How be you and your sister fly out of Buffalo? I’ll pay!!” Okay, I know I'm reaching on the last one but ya gotta give me points for throwing it out there.

I digress. Back to my issue at hand; which is there won't be enough hours in a day. Because not doing any of the above isn’t an option, as suggested I will just keep going and push through. I think if I am organized, have my ducks in a row, have my tee times booked before I leave, it should be fine.

Lastly, I’m joking, about my friend being made of money. He's totally made up of a throng of sarcasm, complimented by a spalsh of sexy marmalade imported from France.

Who the hell needs cash when you're rockin' the other two? Not that cat!

26 Letters in 26 Days…

Well it’s official. I've signed up for the 2013 A-Z Blogging Challenge.

What the heck? I figured it's not like I have a busy life; nothing ventured, nothing gained right? Because I know the suspense is killing you, I am please to announce that I am registered as #1383. 

Life On The Muskoka River (as blogged by Cathy Olliffe-Webster) was/is my inspiration and she's registered as #180. Better late than never right Cathy? I'm kidding. It feels kinda cool. They expect more than 2,000 Bloggers will register before midnight March 31^st.

What the hell am I talking about?

I have to blog about a letter of the alphabet every single day (excluding Sundays) for the entire month of April. There are rules to follow and guidelines that have to be met. Trust me, this serious blog stuff!

What did I do immediately after I joined? I started a little spreadsheet; because I'm afraid I will get blocked, and I'll get the boot.

As of right now, there is only one letter of the alphabet set in stone. The letter “I” will be for my mother, and her very unique name.

I promise to keep them short and would appreciate any input if there’s a topic you’d like to read about. FYI - There's nothing written in stone that "S" will be for SEX but I may entertain a bribe or three!!

Wish me luck. Better yet? Let's just have a few really great laughs along the way!

I AM Happy... Yet I Have Questions.

Looking back at my posts from this time last year, I know I didn’t have a single ounce of self-esteem; truth of the matter, I hadn’t had any for about the five years previous. I'll admit that I  was reading a lot to understand my situation at hand but I was at a complete loss, and had been for a very long time.

My really great stories are told when I smile with my eyes...

I may have regained my self esteem since but I still have some questions; the last six months tell me I always will.

Seriously? The personal biggie? Does everything happens for a reason?

If that's the case, what was MY reason?

If I am completely honest with myself, part of what's happened to me was due to how the journey with my father ended.  I know that sounds like a bit of a crutch. Yet, when do we really need crutches? We need them to aid us when we are hurting. After the last couple of weeks, it has become apparent that I am still in pain. Which is why I am finally going into grief counselling.

My daughter posted this graphic this morning and I immediately did two things; I saved it to my phone so that I could share it with all of you, and I sent it to a friend. Not because our friendship had some tragic ending; I just wanted to let them know, that no matter how many questions I have, I wouldn't change a single chapter of our story.

At the end of the day, isn't it the really great stories that provide one big happy ending?

What do ya know? Imagine that... Yet another question!

Missing My Daisy Marie

I worked yesterday then headed out to do a few chores. I felt like buying myself a new movie but as always when you set out to shop for something you want, you can never quite find what you’re in the mood for. Walking on the wild side, I splurged on a People magazine and a small packet of chocolate Easter eggs.

Before heading to the checkout I decided to browse the book section of the store. I immediately came across a paperback that had a picture of a beagle on the front. Without hesitation I picked up the book and said my words out loud. “Oh my Daisy Marie, I miss you every single day” and I truly do.

Cooling off in the lake with my Daisy Marie
Taken: August Long Weekend 2011

I am still amazed that after all these months the attachment is so strong. I think it’s because for a very long time I felt like she was all I had. 

We spent all of my free time together. She was the best comfort a girl could ask for. She always ensured that I never felt like I was ever alone or lonely. 

I use to talk to her. I use to tell her my problems and I swear she could sense when I was sad. Lord knows she knew when I was mad; she also knew that my anger was never aimed at her. She was my very best friend.

I look back at where I was a year ago and just how far I have come. Though I have made some drastic changes in my life I know that there are more to come. As selfish as it may be, I wish I still had my best friend with me. That way I wouldn't have to go through the motions all alone. I have great memories yet there's so much I want to tell her.

Glass half full? Maybe I'll start a journal just for her. That way it'll feel like I can talk to her again. Trouble is she won't be next to me hogging the bed. As silly as it sounds, that's one of the things I really miss the most.

The Secret? It Comes From Within!

I am pleased to report that next month marks a very significant milestone for me personally. Ten years ago next month, I opened my very own consulting firm.  

Right from the moment I made the decision to do so, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I also I knew that if I did the analysis in the front end, the monetary rewards would be mine for the taking. 

As expected, I was absolutely bang on from the get go. My hard work paid off and it really did happen for me. It happened fast.

Though I am proud to have seen more success than I expected, when the Banks fell (pre-Obama) I was really burnt out. I leaned on my inner circle as a sounding board, and as a result I decided to shift from consulting and focus on the construction industry. I took a day job.

Though I never stopped consulting entirely, I did put did my wee baby to bed. Yesterday confirmed that I may have put her to bed but she never fell asleep. What the hell does that jibberish mean?

I went out for lunch with a business associate yesterday. I was keen on the invite but I figured it would be a cordial business discussion at a very macro level. I was wrong. Two and a half hours later; I’d barely touched my lunch. How we managed to end up on the same page (as quickly as we did) still has me in shock.

As I have said many times before, I am a leader. I do love my day job but there is something to be said for building something from the very start and then watching it come to fruition. It’s not only something I find  personally fulfilling, if done right it's also financially rewarding. So here I type.

Having done it before there's one thing that I know for certain;  it is crazy hard work. It's hard work that you dig deep for, that only comes from within. Because I have done it before I have to tread cautiously and be careful what I wish for. This week I was all cool and touting “exhaustion before boredom”.

This proposed task may provide me with exactly that. Keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times right?