G IS FOR GRATEFUL

As I posted about facing my fears yesterday, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge how grateful I am for so many things in my life today. Not just materialistic things: anything but. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I am extremely grateful, that I have understood from a young age, the difference between want and need. Some comment on the fact that I travel twice a year but there is a distinct reason for both trips. I want to travel for my birthday (which will be here in a minute and a half) yet I need to get into the sunlight before the harsh Canadian winter sets in. Both are stringently budgeted for and I never feel the need to overspend simply because I've managed to save more than planned.

That said, in the last five years, my being grateful is something I've promised myself I would never take for granted ever again. New people and friends I've met, the fact that I had my children close together (and at a young age) enabling me begin the next phase of my life; the list is long. As I walked the entire stretch of beach my very first morning in Sayulita, there were a couple of extra special things I realized I was grateful for this trip.

The new camera I treated myself to, and the vat of sunscreen I packed as a carry on.

May read silly to you but look at my view.... & I-chee-Mama she's hot down here!

BACARDI ISLAND & COKE

It truly is the simple things.
....Like drinkin' an ice cold coke outta the bottle!
TAKEN: Barcardi Island ~ APRIL 2015

I was emailing back and forth with my buddy Marcus all week. He’s always been an amazing sounding board and as expected, he's encouraged me NOT to curl up in a ball in the hall closet, rather keep dealing with my SAD (seasonal affective disorder) head on. 

As I try to cope with the dastardly time change that hits tomorrow morning, I am focusing on staying in a good mind space until I leave on my November trip. Sitting here typing, I can't help but reflect on how therapeutic getting away this time last year really was for me.

Reinvigorated with vitamin D from that trip, I rolled right into a perfect green Christmas at the cottage, which sparked the decision to wait until my birthday to travel for my next burst of sunlight. The sad part about making that decision, was that in those months that lapsed, so many things in my life changed.

That said, I  refuse to blame those things on why my Birthday trip went south; but I will admit that I believe it was one of bazillion contributing factors. So, in the spirit of good blogging, last weekend (yet again) I went through the hundreds of pics I took last April.

Just like they have every other time, I feel they tell my story. It was a terrible trip for me.

Glass half full? If there’s one thing that I’ve learned since I started this electronic journey in 2011... it's to never say never. I embrace every inch of the good and push through every bit of the bad. I guess you can say that also apply that philosophy to my travel experiences.

After a really rough first trip to Negril Jamaica in 2012 (with regards to my mid-life crisis, NOT the destination) I swore I’d never return to the island. Why is that the perfect example? Because 24 months later I had a great experience in Runaway Bay; and at this point in time, it's looking like she’s shortlisted for a three-peat visit winter of 2016!

So, as I sit here illuminated by my happy light this morn, I will just write and go on record that I’ll never say that I’ll never to a return to Samana DR. What I will say, is that if/when I return, I'll think I'd like to stay on the luxury Gran Bahia resort located directly on Bacardi Island.

Not just because I like to sip a rum and coke (and it's named after my favourite brand of spirits) but because my thought process is why only visit an amazing place for a day... When you can stay a week basking in the brightest travel experience you have stored in your memory bank, from a not so stellar vacation...

EXACTLY!

FRESH COLOUR... FRESH START!

Well, as you know my daughter relocated home a few weeks ago.

Like any rush and pack move, things ultimately got left behind. Actually, when you’re moving cross country via West Jet, you have little wiggle room and choices have to be made. The upside to that was that she choose to leave things behind this time last year, yet nothing was disposed of. It felt good to have her head on a road trip with her buddy Becca and I could pull a kick ass pair of her sandals out of my closet. They’d accompanied me to the Caribbean a couple of times but other than that were simply awaiting her return.

My point isn't about the sandals, rather that I can’t begin to describe the change in her disposition since she's left her painful drama behind. Out of respect for what she’s been through, we’ve made a conscious effort not to discuss her decisions; instead, we’ve just offered quiet support. In time, if she wants to discuss her feelings she will. In my opinion, what's happened is in the past and not the direction she's going. Only she can expand on that.

Dad & I watching Kim doing her THANG!
TAKEN: MAY 11th, 2015

After spending a very quiet Mother’s Day together, I sent her a text her today to meet me downtown. Unbeknownst to her we walked to our hair salon to get her a new do. Gone are the dark sullen hues she arrived with and in arrived a soft shade of auburn. Her bright new colour matches her new found disposition perfectly.

As she re-establishes her bearings and continues to grow, there’s one thing I know for sure. It’s great to hear her laugh... not to mention getting to witness her normal sibling shit disturbing.

It isn't because it’s mischievous, rather she knows it keeps all of us laughing. Not gonna lie, there’s a twinkle in her eye when she knows she has the upper hand and I love it. Words can’t describe how much I've missed her fun side.

Momma’s piece of Staccs advice #25,475? 

Life’s too short to let the glass half empty win!

DOES ANYONE TRULY KNOW YOU?

Does anyone truly know you? How’s that for a loaded question on this brisk winter day?!

I believe we only allow people to know the parts of our personality that suit/compliment that specific friendship (Business or otherwise) and its synergy. To totally oversimplify, I often choose the easiest route to get to know someone. Then, over time, I decide if they are a long term fit to remain in my personal life. I don’t know about you but for obvious reasons, I treat a true friend, an everyday friend, an electronic friend and an acquaintance very differently. 

So, having said that, other than my husband and children, I have a very small handful of people that truly know me. You know the type? Those that can ask and/or say anything to me and I will be completely honest and myself in my reply. Those I can share my fears, my excitement, my passions and my dreams with. I can do that, because over time, they have earned my trust. When tested, they were loyal. When challenged, they were honest. 

No hair, no makeup, no problem... He loves me no matter what!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 27th, 2014

So, back to my question. Who truly knows you?

Though a few come in a close second, my husband really does know me best. We’ve always got a lot on the go, yet still find the time to unconditionally be there for one and other. 

It's not like we discuss every little thing, we can just simply sense when one needs the other and we step up to the plate!

For instance, we were walking into the grocery store this weekend and my mind had been elsewhere for a couple of days. I was very quiet and my brow was heavy. I could feel that my shoulders were curving inward and my thought process 100% negative. Less than a dozen steps in, and without hesitation, he grabbed my hand. We simply looked at each other, smiled and continued walking. It felt amazing not to have to talk about it.

I'd like to think he grabbed my hand because he wanted to... but I'd been a pretty big bitch, so it could have been self-preservation on his part. At the end of the day (Cole's Note version) I suspect he didn't want to have to sleep with one eye open for fear I'd kill him in the night, so he gambled and went for my hand. I also envision him thinking, if  he grabed my hand, there'd be an outside chance he might hit the jackpot and get laid.

To put your mind at ease peeps, I am pleased to report he happily went to work this morning. HA...Told ya he knew me.

Ya Gotta Laugh About It!

MY QUIRKY SIDEKICK AND ME...

Day before yesterday, one of my closest friends and I had our very first fight. When it was happening, I was in shock and hoped it was just a silly misunderstanding. The unfortunate part, is that prior to that realization, the super shitty train wreck had already left the station. I guess if there’s a silver lining to our scenario, it would have to be that we know each other well enough that when I called a time out, we both respectfully took it.

Forty eight hours later, what was disagreed upon truly isn't the big deal. The bigger deal is that in the almost fifteen years that we’ve been friends, there hasn't been so much as a harsh word between us; simply a boat load of laughter, interwoven with heartfelt love and unconditional support.

At the end of the day, I suppose the reality is that any/all long term friendships are like a marriage. There are certain elements of give and take and they're a hell of a lot of hard work. I imagine that is why some don’t sustain. It’s easier to give up than to persevere. I am the first to admit that easier relationships always present themselves, so the ones that require investment, generally hit the sidelines. Not every time... but I’m sure you’ll agree, more often than not.

GOOB AND SQUID.... FOREVER, QUIRKY SIDEKICKS!!!
TAKEN: TORONTO  ~ SUMMER OF 2012

My point (because I honestly do have one) is that you should never focus on the work, only the reward. 

As bizarre as it may sound, after my Quirky Sidekick and I took our time out, I immediately thought of my son and his Quirky Sidekick, that is a girl but not his girlfriend.

She's been apart of our family for-ever (and endured the crap that comes along with that specific badge, with amazing grace and honour). Those two have been through so much together, for them to wake up and not to be friends, almost seems wrong. 

They, just like me, have learned that people will come and go. If you're willing to dig in your heels and invest in someone, it can last a lifetime. (After seeing them together on the day I left on vacation... I may need to call Squid for some advice on my current quirky conundrum!)

Well, seeing as I am being honest, I suppose I should come clean with the fact that I am almost embarrassed to admit that I have little experience in calling a time out. Outside of my marriage, I've always let the train steamroll ahead and dealt with it after that fact. 

I guess I didn't hesitate this time, because I absolutely know we're BOTH worth it!

I love you Quirky... My husband knows you love me too.

Let's really try to never fight again xo

ACCEPTANCE WAS KEY... FOR ME

NOTE TO SELF: Pile the rest of the wood.
TAKEN: OCTOBER 30th, 2014

Like most mornings, I watched the sun come up from my desk. I sat there in my jammies enjoying my hot cup of coffee while gazing out the window at the glorious sun rising. Yup, I greeted my new day completely and unconditionally lost in my thoughts. When my daydream ended, I grabbed my camera and headed outside to snap my pic.

I’d like to say that it was because the natural light was perfect for the filter I had on the camera lens; but that would be a lie. I was simply using a point and shoot digital and my windows need cleaning. Had I of taken it from my desk, it would have been brutal! 

Staying on the “total honesty” bandwagon, I should probably admit that I slept in this morn. Where I live, the days are quickly getting shorter, so I ventured outside shortly after 8am. Why so late rising? I couldn't sleep; therefore, I couldn't wake up.

It's really hard to turn the mind off of a results driven individual. Just doesn't happen. 

The tough lesson I've learned in these last couple of years is about my personal expectation of those around me. As a die hard optimist, I have realized that there will always be personal dysfunction. It's called life. However, in Business, systemic dysfunction is much harder to fix. 

What I am trying to say is that when something (internally) in Business is perpetually broken, the only long term fix is to start at the beginning. Either start over, or walk away from the investment and passion of the effort.

Personally, as a middle aged woman, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've just recently had to apply those specific philosophies to my personal life. Peeps... Never lose sight of the fact that trust is earned. Once broken: more often than not irreparable.

So believe me when I admit my 'better late than never' acceptance...

Is why I had a really great day!

I NEED A SPECIAL KINDA HUG

Well, my lack of sleep, and plethora of outside stresses, have finally caught up with me. I’m officially ill. I’m walking around the house with a box of Kleenex stuffed up my sleeve, my head is so stuffy I feel like H.R Puff ‘n Stuff, and I have aches where I haven’t ached since… well, never mind on that one. Let's just say, I have aches. 

To make things worse, everything I touched today turned into a gigantic hunk of poo!!!

Special kinda hug? Pfft... Can't even get the old fashioned kind!

I’m bat shit bitchy, I'm wallowing in complete and total self-pity, and I need a hug.

A special kinda hug.

The kind of hug that leads straight into sex!

Problem is my husband got home from work, took one look at me and immediately announced he was sleeping on the couch. What the hell? DUDE…Suit it up and take it for the TEAM!

As a chronic hand washer I rarely feel under the weather. The last time I was ill was when I returned from Jamaica last February. I’m sure I had something incubating whilst I was there but was certainly glad I didn't spend big bucks to stay in water closet for almost a week. In this instance, I really do believe it's stress. Unexpected emotional stress. The kind of emotional stress that gets relieved by that special kinda hug I was telling you about.

This too shall pass. When it does, the first thing I'm doing is digging out my husbands very favourite piece of lingerie. I'm going to prepare his favourite dinner wearing only that. I'm going to pour some wine, run a bubble bath and light some candles. Only then, will I whisper into his ear, asking if he'd like the special kinda hug I'm telling you about. Once he whispers his answer back, I'll... 

IMMEDIATELY CHANGE INTO MY FLANNEL JAMMIES... & SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

What can I say? Turn about is fair play BABY... Turn about's fair play!

Weddings That Were Meant To Be

Last fall, when I was booking our winter holiday, I was asked if I wanted to pay for cancellation insurance. I immediately said no. I’d already upgraded and had the ability to transfer the holiday within 24 hours of departure, so I figured that would suffice. I remember telling Shelly at the time “…the only way we aren’t going is if one of us is dead.” Then continued, “…should that be the case, after the funeral, I’ll gladly pay again!”

As expected, laughter ensued.

I've always been quite open in the comment that I’d never marry again. Not because I’m unhappily married but because after almost thirty years with the same person I don’t know how I would even begin to process cohabitating with anyone else. Then, when I reflect at what I've witnessed in the last two week, I will officially never say never. 

Just Married
Taken: July 25th, 2014

A little over a week ago my mother in law remarried. Not only did she marry a man she’s known since high school, in a small very private ceremony, she married the love of her life. It was beautiful. So intimate. Perfect!

Then, this past weekend I went to home for my cousins wedding. They too had dated in high school and all these years later found their way back to one and other. 

After the ceremony, the bride showed my cousins and I a small circular charm that read “Sweet 16” (which I presume she'd worn as her something old).

Their granddaughter was flower girl
Taken: August 2nd, 2014

She proceeded to tell us that at one point in her life (long estranged from my cousin) her apartment had been robbed. 

When the Police had gone through the dumpster at the rear of the building, the only piece of jewelry they recovered was the charm Denny had given her in high school. All these years later, she still had it, and she was wearing it on her wedding day, to him. 

She deemed Saturday the happiest day of her life.

As I looked around last weekend I smiled as I spied my family and their spouses. Some married less than a year and some married over fifty years. As we sat at dinner, the girls on the one side of the table and our spouses on the other, there was constant banter about the spoils of marriage. I guess my husband said it best when he finally announced to everyone within earshot…  “Take my wife… Pleeeeeeze!” 

Though he garnered a round of applause, he still brought me home. Once again, proving he'd drawn the short straw. I really do feel kinda sorry for the poor lad.

Thirty years later... He STILL can’t catch a break!

The True Bond of Brotherhood

Our family lost a friend last weekend. She was one of the 'Mom’s'. 

You know the type? One of the ones that unconditionally drove the boys to and from basketball and watched in the stands. One, whose car would arrive at the oddest times in my driveway to fetch her strapping young boy. She will be truly missed. She was only 51.

As a group, we've only experienced this once before; but this one hit so very close to home. My children loved her, not to mention that her son's truly their "Brotha from anotha Mutha." 

It was a very small, private service. I was honoured to have been invited to attend with my son, and the third Musketeer with his Mother. I have to admit, that watching the three lads together (in a less than ideal situation) made me realize just how bonded they truly are. Completely and unconditionally inseparable.

The BOYS with Staccs.
TAKEN: June 2011

As predicted, my daughter called me afterward to make sure he was OK.

"Do you think he knows I would have been there today if I could have?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” I said.

Then I did the only thing I knew before I left my lad to head home.

I hugged him tight as I could and told him without hesitation that '...we all love you very much.’ 

Sleep tight Sharon. All of your hard work and suffering's finally over.

U IS FOR UNIQUE

That's  a buffalo behind me... NOT a horse's ass.
TAKEN P.A. SASKATCHEWAN:  JULY 1971

Simple question: what makes someone unique? 

Do you label the one person wearing red, when everyone else is wearing blue, unique? 

Have you given them such a label because of how they made you feel? Or, is it simply because you'd heard a friend of a friend call them that and you’re conforming? 

Seriously, I'm curious.

From a very young age I knew that I was different than others my age. I understood then, that my life at home was much more unique than most, so I guess I've always compartmentalized why my personality evolved the way it did.

I truly believed (at that time) that it was because my parents were so much older than I. Yet, all these years later, I believe that I am simply me, because I was born with a creative soul.

What can I say? Feel free to rib, label, roll your eyes and look at me anyway you see fit.

Because... Damn it... I AM UNIQUE....

Just like every other interesting person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting!

CHEERS :)

O IS FOR OBJECTIVITY

I believe as people age and accumulate more life experiences, their true sense of who they are and what they want tightens. At the risk of sounding corny, I feel every life experience, no matter how small, becomes a part of who we are. Which is why, it takes a combination of both time and experience, to become objective and develop a compass for perspective.

Professionally, objectivity has never been an issue for me. I’ll lobby for my beliefs, but at the end of the day, it’s the person that I am reporting too that signs my paycheck. So, being objective has always been, pretty much a no brainer. Unless of course, it effected my personal well being.

The opposite side, to the ease of that slope, is how I have to dig deep to find that same fairness toward a situation, when it comes to my husband, my children, my dogs (hell, any/all dogs) or our home. I’m sure it has something to do with the need to nurture and protect but that's not my point.

Their bond is so very strong and powerful. It's amazing to witness.
TAKEN: AUGUST 2007 

My daughter is going through one of the toughest challenges that she’s faced in her life to date. 

As a family, we've all unconditionally rallied to her support, but that still doesn't change the shitty situation at hand. Which is, it involves a person... that we all want to shake the living snot right out of! 

Verrrry... Slowly... Enters ...OBJECTIVITY. 

I’m proud that it’s me that has taken the lead on this one. I've never been this calm, which tells me I'm still evolving. My husband and she are so fiercely close, that some days I feel that he is taking this as hard as she is. Her brothers, the same. Each have a different resolution in mind, but none will help our daughter heal any quicker. Which goes back to my opening ramble.

It’s been my personal experience that one can only gain objectivity from a series of life changing events. The sad part is, the ones we learn the most from?

…Friggin’ SUCK experiencing!

C IS FOR CAMARADERIE

What can I say? You either gravitate to that kind of energy or you don’t. Matter a fact, I am probably one of the few people I know that strive to surround myself with as much of it as much as possible. I consider it to be an essential balance in every single area of my life.

When I began dating my husband (almost thirty years ago) my mother was terminally ill. We've always had a  lot of natural chemistry but I believe we have stood the test of time part and parcel because of how well we get along. Hard times have always be overcome because we've always been the best of friends. 

From the very beginning, our life together has
always been filled with a love for sarcasm, humour and camaraderie!
Taken: June 2002

In my eyes, one of his most valued traits is his ability to make us all laugh. 

Intense by nature, he can make me laugh at the stupidest situations imaginable. Silly ones I may end up fixated on. Some days our mutual love of humour is what literally pulls me through.

With our children fully grown, it warms my heart to know that they have all embraced our philosophy. They love to laugh and live to nurture great friendships; with each other, extended family, co-workers and many facets of varying people. 

I must admit, as they were growing up, I'm confident that we were probably labelled the strictest parents. All these years later, I also know that when you flipped that disciplined coin, we've always been the most fun!

What can I say? The Peacock's LOVE FUN... It's how we roll!

My Momma’s My Only Valentine

I know you’re probably expecting me to scribe some mushy ode pledging my undying love for my husband tonight, so I apologize in advance, because that’s just not going to happen. 

Today is the anniversary of my Momma passing. So, for every year since (today marks the 27th anniversary) I've always dedicated my day to her. Different years bring different emotions.Watching the Olympic Figure Skating unfold, I am truly missing her and I wish she were here, even though I don't have a picture of us to share.

Mom snapping my pic in my solo costume
for the annual figure skating carnival.
(Just like me... she was always behind the camera)
Taken: April 1981

My goodness she was a passionate woman. She kept an amazing home, argued for the sheer debate, and loved her Monday night Bridge Club. For the last ten years of her life, she unconditionally supported me at the rink and loved it.

As I excelled, so did she: as a certified Judge. She always said it was to help offset the cost but I always felt it was because I was perpetuating a passion we both shared.

As you know, in time memories can wane. When it comes to my Mom n' me & the rink the memories remain vivid. 

From her bringing me a hot meal every Tuesday & Wednesday night for six years, to my parents picking me up every single Friday night each and every summer I lived away from home....

She was as committed as I.

Today is the one day I think of myself and where I am in life right now and where my mother was in her life cycle at the very same age. Those points are drastically different. 

One thing is for sure. There isn't a song that blasts through my earbuds, that in the first five bars, I can't see myself in a pair of skates. Yes MOM... I always have a dance partner; my knees are bent, my shoulders back, I always have my head up and I'm smiling with confidence.

She was my biggest fan and she definitely pushed me. Let me tell YA... There are far bigger parenting choices that can doom a child and their future now a days. Just sayin'

Happy Valentine's Day Mom. I love you very much.

Laughter is ALWAYS The Best Medicine

GOOB  & Dot at 'gift time'
Taken: Dec 25th, 2013

My son just walked down the stairs, kissed me on the head, and a said “thank you for Christmas Mum....” All I could do was smile and say was “you’re quite welcome Goob…” 

I'm not sharing that specific moment because I was taken aback, yet to simply admit that his arms around me (not to mention the heartfelt sentiment) felt really great. 

Like everyone reading, yesterday was a big day for us as a family. Our festivities started the night before but my feeling under the weather had my grown children bonding with their Daddy and celebrating without me. 

Christmas morn had me haul me fevered ass out of bed and into the shower... a shower stall that spun faster than a college experience of 'bed spins'! Exhausted, I finally arrived downstairs to an unexpected bouquet of flowers and a kitchen full of men taking care of every single festive detail.

Jukebox was baking shortbread cookies (from the dough he'd made the night before). Goob was arranging my flowers and getting brunch happening;  while my husband dodged their elbows taking care of every other dinner detail in between. Sipping coffee, it felt like my daughter and I were just simply in the way of a very well oiled testosterone machine. 

Jukebox checking out one of the harmonica's Goob gave him.
Taken: Dec 25th, 2013

True to our personal philosophy, there wasn't much money invested in the way of gifts. Just some small things that were needed. Yet, for the first time ever we gifted food baskets. Wooden totes, filled with groceries, which were truly the surprise hit.

As parents, we really did love shopping for each tote. They may be siblings but each are very unique in their personal tastes, so each tote was filled accordingly.

Gift giving aside... It was my daughter's mid afternoon tears that reminded us how she's worked through the biggest transition of the three in 2013.

I don't want to say that it's because the boys were more resilient transitioning but different life choices bring differing personal journeys. On one end of the scale, you have my fiercely independent boys: the other end of the spectrum appears my daughter. Truly a home body (so close to my husband and I) that she never really had any true desire to spread her wings until this past September. Seeing her tears reminds me just how far removed I was from the boys when they transitioned in the very same journey.

My Sweetie & her Dad (Oh ...and Puddin' too!)
Taken: Dec 25th, 2013

I am fiercely proud of all of my children. If there is one memory I will take away from the last couple of days it's how much we laughed. Everyone was fair game for a zinger, every single jab was taken in stride.

Right or wrong, we have raised our children in an open forum of dialogue and debate. We've lead by example, and held them accountable every step of the way.

Who am I kidding?

There has always been one characteristic that we'd hoped would compliment them and forever help them get through life. Which is simply an overly sarcastic, wonderfully amazing, freakin' bat shit crazy sense of humour!

What can I say, after what I witnessed first hand yesterday...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

That AMAZING Summer Of 2002...

The summer of 2002 was the only summer we ever lived at Orillia Lake as a family.
I snapped a ton of photos that summer. This has always been one of my all time favourites.
Taken: July 2002

I worked Saturday morning. Afterwards, we unexpectedly landed at the cottage.

When I finally hauled my ass out of bed this morning, I changed the beds, washed the floors, and packed up the dirty laundry. As I was putting the mop and pail back in the boy’s room, for the first time this summer, I was reminded of our harsh reality. All of our children have completely moved on. 

While admiring the door trim in the bedroom documenting their change in height, I knew I wanted to remove it. Not because we have any intention of selling the cottage, but because I want to apply a clear coat to preserve it. All of those colours, and all of that ink, are very significant to me as a mother. I remember making the marking a spring ritual. It makes me sad that the summer of 2013, was the first year the bedroom door trim saw zero documentation.

I remember my American friend Brad saying "I don't keep photos... I have absolutely no desire to live in the past." Personally, I am the total opposite.

Not that I want to live my life in the past, but I really do believe that a picture is worth 1,000 words. Words that get expressed the instant the photo was taken, then ten fold (by every single admirer) once that photo gets shared. Sharing a photo, is what makes it so special.

Today, I feel my photo is worth a million words. It personally takes me back in time. Over a decade later, to me... I feel, that it looks like a album cover. That said, what was a great vinyl album cover always guaranteed to do? Tell a kick ass great story, about a specific moment in time.

The summer of 2002 was a very special one for us. You can see the happiness, as well as the personal confidence in every single one of them. We were very happy that summer; music, movies,  and board games defined us as a family.

Hell, look at Jukebox. Was he always destined to be a Rockstar? Judging by this photo, all three were meant to grace a cover, and they just did.

It may not be a vinyl album cover (or the cover of the Rolling Stone) but it's the cover of our family album. Trust me, it's one of the most intricately complicated albums ever written.

... I dare every single reader to admit that theirs is not!

Total Reflection All Around...

♫♪♫ Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun...
Please shine down on me... ♫♪♫
Taken: August 3rd, 2013

I was late for work this morning. Not because I slept in or I'm overtired, but because I couldn’t haul my ass out of the lake. 

There’s nothing like diving off a dock the morning after a really great storm. The air always has a feeling of relief about it. Kind of like Hell YA... We survived another one!

I must admit this morning was an especially pretty one. I could see the fish swimming along the shore and I know my favourite turtle wasn't far from site.  

For whatever reason, I only seem to catch a glimpse of it on romantic mornings like today.

I'm not quite sure why my imagination ran a muck this morning (perhaps because for the first time in forever I was alone with my thoughts). I couldn't help but be reflective. Maybe it's as simple as the raging storm last night and the calmness of this morning reminded me of my journey of self discovery.

I have had so many conversations with myself on this silly dock. In all the time I have spent here alone, I've had a million laughs and shed many a tear. I still  wish I could understand why I was chosen to take the specific journey I endured. I guess In hindsight I finally understand I wasn't lost per say, just aimlessly treading water in a place I wasn't meant to be.

Either way, this morning had me feeling gob snapin' fantastic. With all the bullshit of outside influence and differing opinions gone, it sure feels great to be home.

Trust Is Earned

Boy, this past weekend blew by. I worked on Saturday morning; then my husband and I did our house chores that afternoon. I spent all day Sunday outside. My man was kind enough to do the groceries so that I didn’t have to leave the yard.

I love a day when I feel like I get a lot accomplished. You know those types of days, where the only thing you do is wash your face, brush your teeth, and dig out the ugliest clothes you can find. I blissfully embrace any day that I don’t have to get all gussied up. If I had things my way, everyday would be dress down day!

Out on the lake Easter Weekend
Taken: March 30st, 2013

All of that said, my post isn’t on the topic of vanity. My mood is more spiritual.

What makes some people extremely compatible? 

Why is it after all these years he and I have stood the test of time? 

Is it that there's just so much history it's comfortable? I believe it's much bigger than that.

It's been a rough couple of years. Have we had our ups and downs in the non-conjugal sense? Absolutely! Have we sat across from one and other (in tears) worried that we’d never fix what together we’d broken? Yes we have. Has it been worth all of our hard work to arrive at today?  Hell ya!!

When did I know we'd never be apart? It was this past January 22nd. An unexpected incident rocked me to my very core. I was so upset I was almost crippled. I missed work and I completely shut down. It shattered me emotionally.

During that time, like he had before, he carried me. He wrapped his arms around me and wiped away my tears. My heartbreak instantly became ours, and we got through it together.

Why am I so reflective tonight?

The January incident landed on the front burner at work again today. This time I was ready for it. Proving once again that the only person in my life I truly trust is my husband. What can I say? Trust is earned. 

Oh, and let's not forget the other thing today reminded me never to forget...

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!

Peace Out 2012. It's Been A Slice!

Peace Out 2012
...Gotta make room for my new pal 2013
Taken: January 27th, 2012

As expected, after a couple of glasses of wine last night, I folded like a proverbial lawn chair. 

Unable to keep my eyes open, I ended up hitting the sack by about ten o’clock and I was out like a light. 

As I crawled into bed it felt amazing. I've never been so happy to sleep in my own bed in my entire life. You know what they say, "it's great to go away... but great to be back at home!"

This Christmas break was definitely one of reflection for me. This past week it became very evident quickly just how far I’ve come on 'my personal journey' within 2012. 

As I spent time walking on the beach, I fully appreciated (and understood) where I have been this past year and how I actually arrived at today. Not only did I reflect on the past but I am also pleased to report that I took a good long look to where I’d like to be in the next few years. Not superficially or materialistically, but me personally as well as my career professionally.

When the kids lived at home we would have our now famous Sunday dinner together and true to form they would be asked their high and their low for the week. At times we were able to upgrade a low into something silly with laughter (usually at their fathers expense) but a high was always just that... Something they were entitled to feel really great about! For fun, this New Years Day, I’ll task myself with the same exercise. 

My Beautiful Daisy Marie
Taken: Aug 3rd, 2011

My LOW for 2012? Well because most of the shit that happened causing my extreme pain happened in 2011, I’ll automatically keep it there, so not to pick the annoying and generally speaking 'haphazard scab'. 

That said, without a doubt my lowest point for 2012 had to be the death of my beautiful Daisy Marie. My eyes fill with tears even now just thinking about her. It’s been months and I still miss that great big ball of fat and those big brown eyes. Nothing could have ever prepared me for that loss & the toll took on me. 

Low addressed, leaves me with my HIGH for 2012.

The feeling of my first monster drive with my super sweet new golf clubs crossed my mind. Heck, even the first back dive I accomplished in over a decade was right up there. Short listed was definitely one of the couple of new friendships I made throughout the year; but when all is said and done, I have to say it was the leap I took to live at the cottage for the summer that wins the final nod. How crazy is it that I wanted it sold figuring that I would never be able to enjoy it on my own? Yet I did! I literally found myself last summer. My eight week stint put everything into perspective and aligned all of my lanes and overall attitude about life.

The Summer for Me...
no hair, no makeup, just me!
Taken: July 11th, 2012

My summer experience offered extreme clarity to me; as a mother, a daughter, a lover and a wife. For the first time in my life I discovered and embraced who Rhondi was and who she is. I so desperately needed that. It was not only cathartic, it was liberating and life changing.

Those that know me well know a couple of things to be true. I am a very goal oriented and I'm anything but a ‘stuff’ person. I’ve always been an extremely hard worker and I married a man with the same work ethic. We do what it takes to get it done and it’s as simple as that. That formula, combined with being in the right place at the right time, have us living comfortably. Seems we don’t need much and it’s a good thing because that’s exactly how much we have.

It’s about the simple things in life for me. All I can say is thank God I don't have to pay for laughter and sex.  For if I did? I fear I'd always be broke! Glass half full? Makes no matter, because either way I'd be at least 15 lbs lighter and I'd always have a great big smile on my face!!! Happy New Year everyone. May 2013 be the year you want and need it to be. Cheers...

Signed, 

With my love and our laughter... ME!