COURAGE FLAG RAISED

 I woke this morning to a calendar alert from my phone simply labelled JS sentencing. Originally set for this day is September, it had be postponed two months until today.

As you know, I don't mention is name here but it is hoped that his sentencing today offers #JusticeForAshley. My beautiful coworker he murdered in January 2023.

I tried to log into the courtroom hearing this morning, only to discover that his sentencing would not be issued virtually. In turn, I have been checking Collingwood Today, every fifteen minutes, in hopes of finally hearing his fate. 

At about 2:45pm, reporter Erika Engel reported the following. Another milestone for Ashley.

This is her article, and photo credit and (c) belong to her. 

Courage flag raised in Collingwood while sentencing begins for local man who murdered wife.

Photo credit and (c) to Erika Engel of Collingwood Today

'The courage of a woman alone is not enough,' says executive director of My Friend's House during flag raising.

As a purple flag emblazoned with the word "Courage" was hoisted up a flag pole in Collingwood to mark Nov. 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, friends and family members of a woman who was killed by her husband in Collingwood read out victim impact statements in a Barrie courthouse during the sentencing trial for the convicted killer. 

"The courage of a woman alone is not enough," said Alison FitzGerald, the executive director for My Friend's House, Collingwood's women and children's shelter. "It does take a community to make a difference in the lives of abused women and children." 

Members of Collingwood council helped My Friend's House staff raise the flag in front of the library this afternoon. 

FitzGerald reflected after the flag raising on the sentencing trial happening simultaneously. 

"I think it's pretty significant that James Schwalm is being sentenced today, because it's a story where, on the surface and in the community, he seemed like a good guy and nobody really knew what was happening behind the scenes," said FitzGerald in an interview with Collingwood Today. 

Schwalm has pleaded guilty to murdering his wife, Ashley Schwalm, 40, in their home while their children were asleep overnight between Jan. 25 and 26. As the case been before the courts, details have emerged about their relationship heading toward divorce. 

Schwalm strangled his wife, then dressed her body in hiking gear, drove her in her car to a mountain road and crashed it into a ditch before setting fire to it. He fabricated text messages and security footage to cover up the murder. 

The couple lived in Collingwood at the time. He was a captain on a GTA fire department when he killed his wife. 

His sentencing trial continues this afternoon in Barrie. 

"So many people were shocked to hear about the abuse in that relationship ending in murder," said FitzGerald. 

"One of the important things about women's shelters and why they were created was the fact that when women are considering leaving, they are at the greatest risk of being murdered," said FitzGerald. "I think the case of James Schwalm sort of demonstrates that, and that's why shelters exist today and why it's so important that the community supports us to keep our doors open for years to come." 

My Friend's House fields about 4,000 calls per year from women and children in crisis. The phone is answered day and night, and the shelter's 12-14 beds are always full. 

FitzGerald said she doesn't want that to deter anyone from seeking help, as the My Friend's House team will always make it work if a woman and her children need emergency shelter. 

"We want women to keep calling," she said. 

Over the last three decades, FitzGerald has seen some changes in the Collingwood community when it comes to the work of My Friend's House. 

"I'm seeing an increased understanding of violence against women and the importance of making sure that women are supported and children are supported," said FitzGerald. "People don't walk away from me anymore, they say, 'oh, what great work you are doing.'" 

She said it's always a lot of work to raise the funds needed to operate My Friend's House services each year, and noted there are many charities in Collingwood doing great work and competing for the donations that Collingwood and area residents are giving. 

And though the day's flag raising was well-supported and marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, FitzGerald said the work of My Friend's House goes on, and will for a long time. 

"The rates of violence against women aren't changing, and I have a sense that they're actually worsening," said FitzGerald. "We're starting to hear about youth relationships ending in murder as well. So the issue isn't going away. My Friend's House is not going to go away anytime soon." 

If you'd like to support My Friend's House with a donation this year, you can do so through their website myfriendshouse.ca.

PONDERING REALITY

Tropical Storm Sara letting her
lingering presence be known.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 16th, 2024

I took the beautiful picture I am sharing mid-morning yesterday. About twelve hours after Tropical Storm Sara hit our large resort compound with some serious authority.

Now, some may ponder the odds of heading to a resort in the Mayan Riviera and getting hammered by the weather like we did. Not us. When we began getting the alerts, we simply felt it was an extension of the storm that has surrounded us this entire year. 

Feeling a tad exhausted and somewhat defeated, I wandered down the beach and I posted a social media video story. I scanned the miles of high waves, to which I opened with... "Oh 2024, how you've challenged me." 

Now, you know I am all about the optimistic thought process of, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' But this has been such a crap year, I am almost ready to hold our next citrus offering up and squeezing the juice into my eyes; it may be a tad less painful.

Though I kid, my thoughts and glass half full of lemonade is focused on the up coming November 31st. 

That will be the day that my travel buddy hubby's brain will officially stop trying to heal itself. Whatever stroke symptoms he has will remain and be a part of our day-to-day reality.

At this point the right arm seems to have corrected itself but there are still lingering speech issues. 

His right-side leg is the one he had emergency surgery on to stop his internal bleeding, so I don't think we will ever truly understand which percentage of his challenges will be accident related vs. stroke related. What we do know, is that he will never walk as he did before.

Anyway, as I sit and type and ponder in Mexico, I feel I can sum up everything I know about life. 

Which is the fact that will always be always be tough, right up until the minute it isn't.

SILENT DANCE PARTY

We felt like teens sneaking out the window after Mom went to bed!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 13th (pm) & 14th (am), 2024

To set the tone for the point of my post, it was predetermined that on the day we landed at the resort (for ease and logistics) we would settle into our rooms and have dinner at the buffet. 

After we ate, the three of us grabbed a table and sat in the main lobby to enjoy five wonderful female Mexican musicians, all under the age of thirty, perform as a mariachi band. Their vocals were excellent.

With my sister not understanding their native Spanish lyrics, by 9:00pm she had decided to head back to her room to settle for the night. By 9:03pm, my travel buddy hubby had bolted to the resort trolley system, headed to the oceanfront silent dance party being held at a sister resort.

Now, the silent dance party is something new since the last time we'd visited, so I was keen.

You enter a very large space and the area is completely quiet. You sign out a sterilized set of wireless headphone and choose the genre of music you want to enjoy. No headphones, no music.

A number DJ's play music music on separate channels and your selected channel, which is identified by a specific LED colour on your headphones. 

I remember mentioning to my sister prior to departure that I wanted to attend, and she couldn't grasp the concept, immediately labeling it 'dumb'. For us, it was simply another activity we'd never tried before and thought it would be crazy bananas fun.

Anyway, once settled into the large sister resort lobby, our blue illuminated headsets found us dancing with a group of about ten others listening to the same song as us, with no words nor introductions required.

Proof, yet again, that music is truly the number one international language, and easiest way to connect with strangers.

... With a genuine smile, and positive energy, tied as runner ups for the same results!

TRAVEL DAY DROWSY

The three of us, in the air mid flight.
Just look at my sister on the end.
Adamant that she was unable to sleep on a plane!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 13th, 2024

When it comes to taking a vacation, coordinating great flight times has become an obsession of mine. Simply because we discovered more than a decade ago, arriving into YYZ in the middle of the night was a hard NO for my travel buddy hubby and I; no matter how big the savings were.

Now, when my sister decided she wanted to join us at our favourite Mayan Riviera resort for a week, I warned her of our early departure intentions, which in turn secured us a midday return flight the following week. 

Her big concern was, "...I can't sleep on a plane." In her defense, we are far more seasoned travelers than she. We can fall asleep as soon as those booming jet engines are engaged before we back away from the gate.

Staying at a hotel close to the airport the night of the 12th to be ready for a 5am Air Canada check-in, her travel anxiety was firing on all cylinders and she was up all night. 

When we woke early on our travel day morn, she was curled up in the TV room with a blanket. Once again anxiously reaffirming to us, again, "...I can't sleep on a plane."

Knowing we were dealing with her lack of sleep, her next hurdle was to adjust to the fact that the Toronto airport is one of the most technically savvy in the world. Your cell phone and your airline app, have essentially replaced paper for a swift progression through check-in, customs, and security.

Not to judge, rather paint a digital technology picture, my sister has an old school flip phone. One she is very proud of I might add. So, we hooked her up with an older android phone we had, and as uncomfortable (and overtired) as she was, she was good to go. 

So much so, that as soon as we checked in to our very large resort, I made sure she was comfortable calling us using a VoIP app I had set up for her. As I wanted to make communication between our rooms worry free.

On a final note. I wanted to touch on the fact that the word 'can't' has never been one I have ever embraced. For me, my mantra is really 'die trying...'  and I always seem to figure it out!

That said, I wish my sister would delete the sucker from her thesaurus, or at least aspire to try to minimize its use. 

Because, as you can see in my photo above... She really CAN sleep on a plane!!