... Please Pose For Me Mr. Fireman!

Why is it lately I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back? 

My day started productively. My desk cleared itself nicely, had an office visit from two of my favorite clients, and spent my lunch hour in the sun. Definitely great, one step forward!

Missing in action mid afternoon, a friend text asking “…You there?” My response, “I have a four alarm fire!" My next text is something I have been asking myself for quite sometime. “Why is there never a good looking firefighter around when I need one?"  

In an effort to keep my post light, allow me to remind everyone that firefighters (as observed daily on my $20 calendar) truly have great skill. This afternoon, I could have embraced two of their very specific talents, which may have helped me personally in my time of need:

1. Their ability to instinctively assist and support with my situation at hand (trust me there were flames everywhere).
2. Their ability to perform a “real time” calendar pose right in the middle of the warehouse (which would have been followed by me asking if I could 'tap that ass' to relieve some extremely elevated levels of tension).  

Suffice is to say, neither rescue occurred….

TRUTH: I wish that I could take one day, hang out and observe, how certain folk would "walk a mile in my shoes".

Scratch that. Not an option. I’m sure they’d just complain. I know them. 

My shoes would not only be the wrong size but the wrong style. Hardest part for me to watch? How they’d take them off after 5 minutes because they would never be able to mange how quickly they move, in several directions, at the same time, to benefit everyone else. Hence my two steps back.

Legal Disclaimer: No firemen were harmed in the creation of this post

Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.