MY PERSONAL PEACE IN SUNLIGHT

Well, to nip my Seasonal Affective Disorder in the ass, this past Monday morn I got on a plane.  Because I share my travel adventures with you, this ‘Fall of 2016’ escapade was one I had fiercely researched and booked last June; resulting in my first ever 12-day jaunt into the sunlight.

My Trip Advisor specifics aside, as my departure drew near, I will admit that I did NOT want to go. There was a serious amount of dialogue back and forth about cancelling but in the end, my best friend convinced me that if I didn’t go into the light, the upcoming winter would consume me. At the end of the day, I knew he was right.

Unfortunately, his reassurances and prompts didn’t change for the past couple of  months my mind’s been wound tighter than a nuns’ whoo-whoo. The closer my trip approached, the more I internalized  my dismay. 

The more I compartmentalized, the less I slept. Then, that last straw broke the proverbial camels back and I realized that no matter what I did, nor what I said, some circumstances are never meant to change. So, I shed my worry and got on a plane.

Well, approximately 48 hours since arriving I think I finally may be getting into the swing of things. That said, I'll keep ya posted as I am hoping to take time and write daily. 

Something I haven't done since April...

Photography and my blog.... Two of my favourite things!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 30th, 2016

MY NEVERENDING QUEST

I don’t know about you, but I've a very challenging and volatile relationship with my aging metabolism. Trust me when I admit that I wasn't even remotely prepared for what midlife did to a woman’s body but will go on the record stating this: It friggin’ sucks!

My rant extinguished, I should say that my weight issue started the winter after my father passed in 2005. Over the next several years, I was in complete and utter denial that I was managing my internal turmoil by self-medicating with food. It took a serious weight gain and a personal commitment from within to regain a much needed balance. I had to dig really deep to rid my body of the processed food toxins that had taken over.

How did I do it? I saw myself in a family photo during the Christmas break of 2011. I was in shock. It was in that very instant that I made a commitment to get my life & my body back on track. Having never done so before, I made (and kept) a New Year’s resolution and on December 31st, 2011 (which is when my quest for my waist officially began).

Let's face it. I only know a very small handful of women my age that are happy with their shape and my theory is simple. Menopause blows, big time. I suppose I could spend the money on liposuction to rid the evidence that I gave birth to 3 children, instead I wear clothes that are generally flattering to my shape, while spending my savings on travelling as much as my work life allows. 

Soaking up the sun in Cabo!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 28th, 2015

That said, though I'm generally comfortable in the skin I’m in, my upcoming vacation has me tentative for the first time since my quest began. This time last year, I could easily look at myself in my full length mirror, feeling as good about my shape as my disposition would allow.  

This year, not so much. Over the last 12 months I’ve put on some ‘stress weight’ that I am having a tough time shaking. It’s not the type of stress I experienced 10 years ago, more the ‘there aren’t enough hours in a day’ stress; which ultimately opens the door for bad food choices, creating even more stress.

Anyway, as I am officially on my vacation countdown, I tend to daydream more regularly than I normally would. When I wander off, I can feel the hot ocean sun on my face and embrace the serenity of my cellphone being locked in the safe.  The other side of that coin is that I also tend to have the odd nightmare as the time draws closer too. You know the type? When you swear the resort ice cream dispenser is calling your name, or when the resort breakfast station chef asks you how you'd like your eggs? 

I think my time stresses are depleted enough that I can stay away from the ice cream machine but my biggest challenge will present itself when I am asked how I like my eggs.

I keep reassuring myself, that I will not respond how I am truly feeling.

Which is..."I prefer my eggs... IN A CHOCOLATE CAKE!”

Thanks for listening & wish me luck. My waist is gonna need it.