Monday, September 16, 2013

My Father's Shoes...

I'm sure you'll agree that a great Fall cleaning is far more work than a thorough multi-tasked Spring one. As a result, I was beat when faced with an emotional ritual that has been a part of our home since the summer of 2005. The placing of my father's shoes.

Getting ready to celebrate the twins 13th Birthday...
Only eighteen days before he passed.
Taken: June 5th, 2005
I am so glad that my father spent his final six months in our home. The outpouring of love we all shared as a family is still talked about regularly all these years later. 

I am not sure if I've admitted that I never did share his prognosis with him, but in the end, it was me that entered the world of denial. 

I was convinced that under our care he would live forever. Silly I know, but it's how the process unfolded for me personally.

We all know the fate he eventually suffered, but since the day he died, I have kept his favourite pair of shoes on display at our front door.

His shoes quickly became a respected staple (a conversation piece) so to speak. Every time they suffered a fall from the landing, one of the kids would yell "MOM... the dog knocked Poppa's shoes off again!" His tan leather laced shoes welcomely became a part of our family.

To this day, I am grateful of my choice. 

You see, when my father's estate was settled, we had to purchased anything we wanted from the other siblings. It was like an auction per say. Before we ever started the initial purchase, we got to pick one single item that would be considered a "gift". I chose my father's favourite pair of shoes. 

I remember my brothers condescendingly asking me what I would want with a pair of shoes. My response was heartfelt and true. "When Dad left our home, he wasn't ready. It wasn't his time" I said. But for me now, the story is much bigger than the statement I made out of instinct that terrible day.... 

Today, like so many times before, when I held his shoes, I could still hear him saying Thank You.

I love that I am the one that was both chosen and blessed. Chosen by him to tie his very favourite pair of shoes... and blessed to still have them.

I love you Dad...