Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Can Both The Question & Answer Be Why?

I like to think of myself as an easygoing gal. Fifteen years ago, maybe not so much, but as the children matured and juggling home and a career became easier, so did my demeanour.

Let me rephrase. It’s not that I wasn’t easy going back then, I was just a little more intense about life in general.  In a nutshell, if provoked, (the kids will attest that) it could quickly get loud. Now days, about as loud as I get is typing in ALL CAPS with my Yahoo email account because you’ve either called me “Ma’am” or perhaps picked an inopportune time to remind me that you “don’t yell”.

I haven’t talked about this much, but my nest emptying was much more difficult than I could have ever imagined. It changed me. It changed my outlook on life and the direction I wanted (as well as no longer wanted) to move in.  It’s been a very trying time for me but one of self discovery.

Enjoying this past Canada Day weekend I began to replay where I was on my personal journey last fall. The thought of October 2011 still haunts me and exactly how dark I was feeling. November had me telling myself to smarten up and by December I had made some very personal choices.

As the months passed, and I rang in 2012, new friendships were made. As a result, each passing month my mood improved. Like anything in life there’s ebb and flow, but for the most part my rediscovery of myself came slowly and without fanfare.

I’m not exactly sure why I am feeling reflective today. That's a lie. I know exactly why. It’s because you never know why people, places, or things drift in and out of your life. It’s a matter of fact. It’s a matter of the life cycle in general. They just do. Having said all that, I also believe for a number of reasons some (both people and items) are meant to stay and I am sad to admit some others are not.

After a series of events over the course of this past weekend,  I suppose I was just second guessing....Why? This morning my answer became clear. 
Q: Why are some meant to stay and others are not? 
A: Doesn't matter why! Keep moving forward and don't look back!!