MUSINGS BY THE BONFIRE

My wee Miya Maria and me... Musing beneath the trees.
TAKEN: December 29th, 2022

Well, it appears I have once again survived 'Blue Monday'. 

Though I'm sure some men might consider Blue Monday what follows the weekend if they didn't get laid, but I am referring to the Monday that is identified world wide as 'the most depressing day of the year.' 

The exact day is calculated by assessing weather (W), post-holiday debt (d), time since Christmas (T), failing New Year's resolutions (Q), low motivation (M), and a lack of decisive action (Na). This year, it was Monday January 16th.

For fun, here is my current assessment and reflection of their criteria:

Weather – The weather man is the only dude that can do his job wrong 100% of the time and not get fired.

Post-Holiday Debt – Don’t have any. Hard to go into debt when all you do is put up the same lights, decorate the tree the same every year, and only purchase heart felt gifts for three loves.

Time Since Christmas – This one has a reverse effect for me. I cringe when they start pushing me at Hallowe’en to 'deck the stinkin' halls'.

Failing New Year’s Resolution -  Didn’t make one. I set goals I want to accomplish but never make resolutions

Low Motivation -  This one did tick a box or two this year. Unnecessary and immature drama prior to breaking for the holidays tainted my time off. There were lots of tears. I realize now it was my own fault for allowing it to bother me. It’s over now, and I was feeling great prior to January 16th .

Lack of Decisive Action: Not with this cat. Booked and paid for my birthday trip  to Vegas on Black Friday, paid off the car more than a year early, and continually remove toxic people from my life. If there is one thing I am – it is extremely decisive!

As an aside, for me this milestone day doesn't register in the same way it may with others. I find it important to acknowledge because it signifies the end of my season affective cocoon (aka: time change coma) and is the beacon of light at the end of the tunnel which leads me to spring. Coles notes, it means the shortest day of they year has passed and the longest day with sunlight is on the way.

As I look at the photo I am sharing, I love that I captured such a great moment. Sitting by the fire, Miya waiting for the next snowball to be thrown, with music filling our yard. It was truly a great day.

Sitting there sipping, I remember in the moment turning to my husband and raising my Yeti. "Let’s face it," I said. 

"It is on days like these that I am convinced that wine was invented because God just wanted all of us to be happy!"

As we both chuckled at my spontaneity, I leaned over and clinked his can, then I continued as I always do. "Ya gotta laugh about it," I said. 

Ya just always gotta laugh about it! 

...Take THAT Blue Monday!!

REMEMBERING 2022

I don’t know about you, but I am happy to shut the door on the past year and look to the coming year with a genuine amount of hope and sincere optimism. 

Personally, it has felt like I have been in mourning for the majority of the year. I didn’t write nearly as much as I had hoped because my heart was absolutely aching with both hurt and despair. Trust me, in spite of my mantra, it hasn't been something I would ever be able to laugh about.

Professionally, after taking the last three months of 2022 off to help my husband heal from a life saving surgery, I started the year with a new career challenge that has proven to be an excellent move for me. As I look toward retirement, I love that I am mentoring and team building with an amazing group of young, very upwardly mobile, professionals. 

With the past year in the rearview, I have great hope for 2023. All the best in the coming year everyone. Cheers, and thanks once again for reading. 

~ Rhondi

PS: For the first time, for my annual 'remembering' post, as I reminisce electronically, you can click links to journal offerings that you may have missed.

PSS: Enjoy!

Most significant moment (centre): The sudden passing of my closest friend and confidant, Brian ‘Smartie’ Smart. Who left us Easter weekend 2022. I am truly heartbroken, and the loss of his presence will be missed forever.

January: A snapshot from the desk of my new job. A refreshing challenge I have loved, to which I said to my boss on our last conversation before the holiday break, "look what you and I have accomplished in our first year. I can't wait to see where we land after our second!" 

(Link: Leapin' Life Balance)

February: Knowing my wonderful Puddin' was living on borrowed time, my husband and I spent Family Day (aka: Family Furbaby Day) at the cottage with 'The Oreo Gang' . It was the beginning of the end of an era. 

(Link: The Oreo Gang)

March: As the carpool picked up Goob to head to work in Port Cariling, the glow of the sunrise lit up the car. I got out of the car to capture this moment. We enjoyed a beautiful month of March.

April: For the first time since November 2019 we were able to travel. We flew into Miami then took a roadtrip to Key West. Smartie called me to wish me a Happy Birthday, and made me promise to go to the Hemmingway house, which I did the very next day. We talked for an hour, said our always call ending 'I love you and I love you too'. He was dead a week later. 

(Link: S is for Smartie)

May: The month saw the beginning of house as well as cottage renovations. Both took until the end of November to complete. Much more to do in 2023.

June: My beautiful Puddin' succumbed to her cancer. She was my very best furbaby friend. Our Annie was so affected by the loss that we had to stop saying her name. My life just isn't the same without her.

July: I surprised my husband with a road trip to the town of Bethel (where the Woodstock Festival was held in 1969) and then through the Catskill Mountains to the town of Woodstock New York for his birthday. For music lovers like us, it was both a moving and Bucket List experience.

August: We had a heat wave that was crazy off the charts producing extreme heat warnings. It was so hot, that we were in the water more than out. We felt like kids again! 

(Link: My Happy Hat)

September: They say everything comes in threes, and I had three that were major for me personally. First Smartie, then Puddin', then lastly my beautiful Auntie Cai. I credit a lot of who I am today to her and her life guidance. I miss her very much and always will. 

(Link: In her memory ~ Sweet Dreams of Cairo)

October: Our third roadtrip had us take our pups on a more than two thousand mile round trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We rented a house that slept twelve on the ocean that was perfect. If you've never been.... GO!

(Link: Outer Banks Paw Patrol)

November: Yours truly celebrated a personal milestone with the 11th Anniversary of my wee electronic journal. In hindsight, maybe I should have named it 'Silly Story Central!?!' #yagottalaughaboutit 

(Link: Eleven Years Young)

December: A photo just can't illustrate the amount of snowfall we received in Muskoka that began the evening of December 23rd. So much so, that the massive dumping felt like we should have been placed in a State of Emergency. The photo in my collage was day two of four that were brutal. 

Link: Our Great Neighbourhood)

OLD BESSIE AND ME

An Alberta Clipper passed though Muskoka and old Bessie rose to the occasion!

TAKEN: FEBRUARY 19th, 2022

Like everyone else in Muskoka, we woke up Saturday morning and couldn’t see across the street. 

After a pot of hot coffee and the blizzard subsiding, my hubby began to bundle up and I immediately followed his mid-morning motivational moves. We headed out together, to tackle the hellish 13+ inches of the white stuff that had arrived; express, via Alberta.

Though I have always complained about winter in general, when it comes right down to it, I've always enjoyed shoveling snow.  You can move quite a lot of the crap with a snow scoop and prior us inheriting old Bessie, snow was always moved the old fashion way – with sheer determination and hard work. 

For the record, Bessie came to us a few years back as a gift from our buddy Myler. To accurately describe her, I would have to say she’s a lot like me. Older in nature yet has a lot of spunk and life left in her!

Just like me, she may struggle some days to get going - but at the end of it all she keeps going and going until the task at hand is completed... And this past Saturday played out exactly like that for all of us.

I started by shoveling the decks and around the front of the garage while Bessie and my man hit the long driveway straights. Boy, there was a lot of snow to move. About halfway through them making a dent in the driveway drifts, it was my turn to drive the Bess-Monster.

To give you a visual, this old girl is heavy as a tank (not that I’m not that too…) and directly under the driveway snow, was a sheet of ice from top to bottom.

 

I did OK heading uphill, as the blower motor did most of the work and I positioned my feet as if I was climbing uphill on cross country skis. Coming back down was another story. I just gripped the handles and focused on staying standing up as if I were snowboarding. 

Trust me, gliding down the driveway ice behind Bessie was far easier and safer than trying to walk. All I could think to myself was thank goodness for my figure skating point of balance and my elementary school super slider snow skate experience. In one word… WICKED!

After hubby and I tagged team off again and he headed back toward the top of the drive, I held up my phone and snapped our photo. What I am sharing is exactly what I captured, and there are a couple of things I love which this photo illustrates.

Firstly, that teamwork really does make the dream work.. AND, that I absolutely LOVE that the blowing snow hides my Saturday morning big ass bedhead, as well as the fact that I am not wearing any makeup. 

What can I say?

...Except our old girl Bessie brings out the absolute best in me!

SNOW IT STARTS!

The frozen precipitation I deem a constant irritant and source of months of personal misery landed last week. Allow me to draw to your attention to exhibit 'A' below: my frustrating flakey foe. Stupid f*cking snow! 

My pretty pups posing with my frozen foe!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 16th, 2020

Dirty chirps aside, like I do every autumn, I force myself to push through this horrible six weeks of time change purgatory, until the days begin to get longer and the UV rays reflect off our pristine white blanket in January. 

With my seasonal affective disorder at its most debilitating in November, I always spend time looking for positive distractions. This electronic journal helped me in the fall of 2011 and in post Thanksgiving time changes since, I have leaned on it more often than not. 

This year, with all that's happening you would think I would want to write more, yet my creative canvas appears completely blank. Therefore, if writing isn't going to be where I channel my energy,  I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to need another outlet. 

With that in mind, three weeks ago I took a giant step and dug out and dusted off my trustworthy treadmill. It stands proud upstairs, looking out the big picture windows and I enthusiastically offer it social niceties multiple times a day. 

So far, I have yet to plug the power cord into the wall and take it for a spin. Guess its because I'm a firm believer you can't rush back into a physical relationship, when you've completely ignored its purpose for over five years; which is why this weekend I shifted my focused to the upcoming holiday season. 

With the kids grown and gone, there isn't near as much to look forward to as their use to be, yet I do my best to get into the spirit of things. Though I never ask for anything, I do love to gaze at my Christmas tree lights each night for the entire month of December, bringing specific enlightenment to my earlier attempt at a new energy absorbing distraction. 

You see, I put my newly dusted off old chum in the very same spot I always put the holiday Christmas tree that houses those 500+ beautiful LED lights I love. 

Knowing Christmas lights trump everything, I am feeling very grateful I only ever offered a cheerful good morning to my buddy, never hopping on with false intentions. 

Because I know now, that we would have just gotten back into a familiar rhythm, and I would have had to fold 'er up and move 'em to the cold garage, alone, until early January 2021.  Once again proving, the creative process and this silly electronic journal offer me the crystal clear clarity and self enabling justification I crave this time of year. 

Which leaves me hollering, yet again.... Pass the chocolate cake, spark another Hallmark movie, and deck the freaking halls! 

Oh, before I forget. Is there anyone around next weekend to help me move a treadmill?

#yagottalaughaboutit 

MY STEADY SEPTEMBER

My Annie on the left and my Puddin' going full tilt on the right!
TAKEN: September 20th, 2020

Vacation the first week of August may have been a total bust but the weather the last week of summer more than made up for it. I don’t know about you - but there has always been something with the end of September atmosphere that genuinely put an extra skip in my step. 

For obvious reasons, as fall approaches each year I always make the effort to give my pups as many unique experiences as possible. I suppose it’s because I know, for the most part, nature is preparing us to hunker down in darkness as we wait for the pre-winter snow to arrive.

As you can see from our last adventure photos, Annie is as active as toddler on steroids but the signs of Puddin’ officially becoming a senior are starting to visibly show. Therefore, I have decided that this fall has to be about a balance. Not just energy level balance. Overall life balance; not only for the pups but for me as well.

Such a big and important thought process (and learning curve) for me right now. 

In my effort to strive and achieve it, I will no longer be working 50 hours a week and on call from sun up until sun down. I have disabled all alerts on my phone and I honestly try my best to power that sucker down before I serve dinner and leave it off until I wake the following morn.

That change combined with an inner twang for more personal balance, resulted in me reconnecting with my very best gal pal. It’s not like she and I were estranged per se, just both got busy with life in general and became accustom to the Bluetooth on the road home doing all the legwork for us. 

I am pleased to report that this very steady September has us getting back to basics where the first question we ask the other is “...How are you doing?” I had truly missed that. 

You see, for the last several years I had been so focused on others and their demands, that the little things that mattered somehow got lost in the shuffle. I guess you could say that prior to making this small, almost minor change in behaviour, I was always in search of the answer as to how to create change.

Then, on the evening of September 10th, I realized that I no longer wanted to wait for the opportunity of change. I understood whole heartedly I had to pull up my big girl panties and encompass and embrace the change I was searching for.…So I did. 

The rest is up to me.

A SNACK BRACKET

My very favourite client was in the office last week and he said to me… “Rhondi, just like you, I’ve had Covid-19.”

We burst out laughing after he continued with, “At the end of all of this, I’m not sure if it will end up being nineteen pounds, or nineteen kilograms!” 

I don’t know about you, but as an emotional eater, I can generally peg the time of year when circus music begins to chime in my ear signaling me to buy stock in the most profitable potato chip company. And I can assure you, every fall, any and all are generously sampled; as part of my annual stock purchase evaluation.

What can I say. I was a fat toddler. I was power fed homogenized milk, and in those days the perception was the fatter the better. The good news is I shed that baby fat, the bad news is those formed fat cells follow you forever.

I have always been athletic and outgoing but when perimenopause clicked in everything changed. My body absorbed food differently and in one year my metabolism changed exponentially. It was in that moment I knew I was being put to pasture.

Kicking and screaming and the better part of a year later, I lost the excess weight and changed my lifestyle. That was in 2012.

Even with a major change in lifestyle, winters and my seasonal affective disorder in this harsh tundra have me pulling my gravy crutch out of the hall closet bringing the five or ten pound of weight gain that accompany it. The good news is those extra pounds were always shed before I ever had to appear in any sort of summer shorts or swimming outfit. 

This year? We locked down. I filled up. The rest is history!

I want to shed the pounds I’ve gained yet I am a creature of habit. 

If gravy has a crutch, my philosophy that if I share with the pups I am really only taking in 1/3 of the calories must be a motorized wheelchair. One chip for each of you, one chip for me. One jelly bean for each of you, one jelly bean for me; and trust me, I am always fair in the distribution department.

I guess you could say that the only way the dogs keep the upper paw on me is because they don't have to share their dog cookies with me. Though I must say, on occasion the label on the front of the box has made it cross my mind.

Not gonna lie.... Those gravy covered Milk Bone dog biscuits definitely land within my mid-winter snack bracket!!

#yagottalaughaboutit

It would appear that Annie and I have similar snackage struggles
TAKEN: AUGUST 7th, 2020

WINTER SUCKS!

My photos were taken exact 163 hours apart.
I really do dread this time of year!
TAKEN OCTOBER 27th & NOVEMBER 1st, 2019

I don't know about you, but fall for me is like an amazing twelve week shopping spree that eventually ends with an epic case of buyer’s remorse. 

It's as if Labour Day is the milestone signaling me to head the shopping mall. Thanksgiving brings the expensive and very euphoric sexy shoe purchase, and by Halloween the fun becomes strained.

Ultimately, by the time we turn the clocks back, the Visa bill with interest arrives; and that final buzz kill leaves me grumpy for the six long months of winter that follow.

As you know, the time change is a big deal for me. So many things I dread just naturally happen. Every. Single. Year.

Almost immediately after we 'fall back', I leave for work in the dark and arrive home under the same circumstance. The swashbuckling pirates that produce my bogus hydro bill begin to circle like vultures, and it takes every fiber of self-restraint to not put gravy on absolutely everything I eat. As an emotional eater, at least I know the latter feeds into my 24-7 need for comfort, when I am simply always glum.

All my bitching aside, I understanding time is precious and I truly do hate to wish it away but 2019 has not been a remarkable year of magnificent for me. Rather, I feel I have been repeatedly tested.

The truth is, with 61 days left until the year ends, I sense I’m in high school again. Specifically in grade 12 Chemistry when my teacher gave me a passing grade. Not because I'd aced his class, just simply because I'd tried as hard as I could and never once gave up.

Reinforcing, yet again, that even if you didn't have a shit year nor suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder,  there are two things I know to be true.

That life is really hard, right up until the moment it isn't.

... and that WINTER SUCKS!

HASTA LUEGO, AMIGOS!

If you happen to follow me on social media, you are well aware of the treacherous weather I endured to ensure I made it to the airport for my jaunt into the sun in the middle of February.

The roads were so bad, it took four hours to get the airport, with the last hour being a slow crawl from the top of Toronto into the parking lot of my airport hotel.

Once finally checked in and cozy, the freezing rain arrived in full force. Fully expecting my flight to be cancelled in the morning, when I rose at 3:00am the following morn to prepare for my 6:15am flight, my Sunwing app pleasantly alerted me to a fight delay rather than cancellation.

Knowing full well that I was faced with a kick-ass first world problem, I was still excited that the flight had only been delayed and not cancelled. A little better than four hours late, the plane was barreling down the YYZ runway & I was getting the hell out of dodge!

Landed, took a quick bus to the resort, suited/lathered up and immediately headed onto the beach & into the sun. Suffice is to say that by dinnertime I was totally bagged from my 'hurry up and wait kinda day' whilst soaking up the spirits that compliment an all inclusive vacation.

So, for a combination of reasons (including sheer stupidity) I took my designer handbag with me into the dinner buffet. Inside was my wallet, my underwater camera and uber expensive cellphone; all of which usually stay under lock and key no matter where I travel.

After meeting the serving team and leaving a generous tip for their amazing service, I was off to see the 9:30pm live show. Thank goodness I got waylaid in the lobby bar listening to the house band, because after the dining room closed, I got an unexpected tap on my shoulder from the gal that was my server earlier in the evening. She could barely speak English but managed to act out that I had left my handbag in the diningroom.

I rushed back with her to retrieve it, hugged each and every one of the servers that worked in my Diamond Club section and was grateful beyond belief. As I type, I am amazed that though they didn’t have to return my bag (and my valuable contents) they ALL went above and beyond by wandering through hundreds of people in the busiest section of the resort to find me and do the right thing.

Proving, yet again (what I unconditionally believe) that you get back the energy you ultimately exude. To expand on that, it's always been my personal travel belief that no matter where one lands or where one roams, you are the the one responsible for the outcome in the overall experience department; which is primarily why I ignore 99% of the negative input on Trip Advisor, focusing only on what may impact my ability to enjoy my adventure.

With any/all political views aside, there is truly something special about Cuba. They boast some of the most beautiful beaches I have ever had the pleasure to walk along & enjoy, which pale in comparison to the attitude and passion of the people that live there.

They personify that you should ALWAYS treat people the way you want to be treated. It's that simple... To which I will be forever grateful.

Gracias y hasta luego, amigos....

Thank you, I will see you again, friends.

Sharing more of the love the following evening with these amazing peeps!
Memories Flamenco Beach Resort ~ Cayo Coco, Cuba
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 14th, 2019

MY DARK REALITY

My 7am walk in the rain with the streetlights on.
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 25th, 2018

So, it's official. I won't be heading into the sunshine at the fall back time change, as those strict savings were allocated toward lowering the purchase price of a new vehicle. Though I could have juggled and managed both financially, I'm keeping a stiff upper lip (whilst pouting profusely) by refusing to travel on previously earmarked savings or credit.

As a possible pick me up, I will report that I've decided only to listen to Bob Marley that week on the custom Bose sound system my new ride's equipped with, which could be deemed as a small concession, as the 'Port Carling-mobile' was a must have purchase.

'Must have’ ...an interesting approach to an item, isn't it?

Matter a fact, I was just talking to a couple of guys on my team last week about certain personality types and their somewhat incessant need for instant gratification of material purchases. That casual dialogue, led to a neat conversation about the understanding of want vs. need in the lifestyle spending department: In that I wanted to go to Jamaica in November, yet I was in need of another vehicle. 

Here's the skinny. When I walked to carpool this morning in the rain, the street lights were on, warning me that hell is on the horizon for me.  Hell may be a strong visual to inflict here but you can’t understand an others personal struggle with a lack of natural light until you’ve experienced its direct effect. Never the less, if I want to cross the pond for the first time for my next birthday, concessions had to be made and I had to come to grips with the dark reality that there will be very little fall sunlight. 

Let’s face it... I’m no spring chicken. For decades, money’s been squirreled away for that rainy day that'll most likely resemble this morning. In a perfect scenario, my attitude will be as positive as ever.

I'll be the life of the party, rocking out to AC-DC’s Shook Me All Night Long, gripping my walker, nursing a recently healed broken hip from break-dancing; in one very kick-ass mature lifestyle community.** 

Glass half full? 

It will be paid for... and I'll be revered by all, for still truly remembering the 1980's.

**: This kick-ass community may or may not be located in Jamaica!

FEBRUARY, PLEASE BE KIND

FUN FACT #1: Did you know that there are roughly sixty four shades of blue?
FUN FACT #2: In the past, I've suffered a varying levels of many during February.

As I always try and own the second fun fact, I can’t help but go on record with the thought that this past month of January, felt like a really tough year. As we roll into February, I'll enthusiastically start the new calendar month with a smile on my face, simply because I've officially made it. 

When the children left for post secondary school, we originally began travelling in February. Not sure why really, outside the fact that we'd never done so & everybody in our neck of the tundra seemed to. A couple of years in, we took the twins and the pups and rented a pet friendly house in South Carolina. I couldn't believe how that early jolt of vitamin D aided with my symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

As that year rolled into the next, I soon discovered that we could very economically head into the light at the fall time change, skip mid-winter travel, wait until my birthday in spring and essentially get away twice for the price of an all inclusive week in February. So that's what our travel timing shifted to.

Then, this time last year, I took my daughter on a quick 4 night weekend jaunt to Cuba. It was intended to serve as quality time for the both of us, but at the end of the day, those 4 nights made the world of difference for both of us personally. 

By 1 pm that first full day on the beach, I could feel myself awaking from my winter slumber. But it wasn't just me, it was my daughter too. She was participating around the pool, running along the beach, and embracing every single minute. 

A weekend win on every possible level, it was upon my return that I realized that moving forward, some similar type of February mini vaycay was something I needed. So I baked a value into my annual travel budget and Bob's your uncle; I was on my way.

This year my daughter isn't coming with as she's spending this weekend in Ottawa with friends, skating on the Rideau Canal and enjoying the city in general. Instead, I am taking my other Sweetie; my husband, and we are headed to Bahamas for the very first time.

Photographic proof of my daughter kicking February's ass....Old school!
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 2017 & FEBRUARY 2018

I booked it Black Friday for less than what it would have cost us to return to Cuba for that same four day stint I did last year. The only downside is that I had to take a hammer to my piggy bank this morning.... Why?

Because when doing my due diligence, I figured out why it's "Better In The Bahamas." Everything has at least four dollar signs attached ($$$$) even the Starbucks in the lobby. With my birthday trip booked and the planning of our 30th anniversary in June underway, I don't care. We are totally worth it and we are gonna have a blast.

Not to mention... I get yet another brand new stamp in my passport!

Giddy UP!!

FROZEN FUN WITH SWEETIE

At around 9:30am Saturday morning my phone chimed alerting me to an incoming text message from my daughter. ‘Let me know when you’re ready to go,’ it read.

I knew she was still in bed, so clearly the outdoor temperature didn’t matter to her. As far as she was concerned, we were headed on our bi-weekly trip to town. One of the coldest mornings on record and she decided to wake up early with an overwhelming amount of enthusiasm. (She can thank her fathers' DNA for that 'so not like her momma' trait.)

Armed with our lists of what we needed to accomplish, we hatched a plan. She needed a specific style of work pant, so we started by heading into the largest box store we have. We were both minding our own business, pushing our carts and getting what we needed, simply enjoying each other’s company: when out of the blue, coming toward us I spied one of her old high school chums. (Not the acquaintance type of chum you had a locker next to, but one you spent summer after summer with and to this day your families remain cordial.)

 
Anyway, with a great big cat shit eating grim on her face, my daughter spied her coming toward us. She turns to me and said ‘watch how she goes out of her way to avoid me.’ I watched and it was blatantly obvious.

It didn’t seem to phase my daughter. She explained how long the other'd been behaving this way and I found it quite sad. I suppose if the truth be known I felt sorry for the girl. My first instinct was she'd put far to much focus and energy on avoiding us, when walking by and saying nothing would have sufficed. Then again, we all know the skill of executing a true snub comes with both maturity and life experience.

My bestie enduring -30C so I could get the shot!
Armed only with a bluetooth touque, Sorel boots and a smile.
TAKEN: JANUARY  6th, 2018

By the time we'd exited our first stop & finished running around, we had decided she would come back to the house to grab some clothes she had left from when she last dog sat.

As we zoomed the backway to her apartment in the centre of town, I couldn't help but notice the amazing natural light of our frozen tundra.

I pulled into the park parking lot, grabbed my camera and headed toward the falls. As I trudged through the snow, I glanced over my shoulder to see my daughter following me. She followed the direction I gave, and headed out on the snowy dock ahead of me. This photo was just one of the results of our frozen fun; it's absolutely breathtaking.

I am so very fortunate to live and have a cottage in a town I love. When I look at the smile on my daughters face I realize that though she left, her returning has helped her hit her stride. She's surrounded love. That is except for the young blonde, with the 'I'm better than you attitude,' that we ran into at Wal-Mart.

I'm glad my Sweetie and I could talk about how her previous friends behaviour evolved and I could make her giggle as we tried to understand it. Knowing, after the fact, how the small idiosyncrasies evolved, her bizarre actions had me relating to a meme I posted on Instagram about a month ago that read...

Somewhere, somebody out there is thinking of you, and the tremendous impact you made on their life.

It's not me... I think you're an idiot!

WATER WAS DEFINITELY CHILLED

When I rose at 5am this morning, I immediately thought of my very good friend Sean. His standard joke for times when there was an extreme cold warning in effect was: ‘It was so cold outside this morning, that I saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets.’ The reason that little ditty makes me smile’s because he was a lawyer. Taken too soon, I truly miss him. May he forever rest in peace.

My point being, when I woke up this morning it was -44C outside with the windchill, so I ended up staying home. Not because I couldn’t have gone to work, rather because our home was built in the late 1980’s, we have water intake pipes that run along an outside wall inside the garage. 

Again, nothing life altering, except the last time I heated the garage for the weekend during a deep freeze, the three day hydro bill was 600 bucks. Suffice is to say, I don’t take home 600 beans a day and this sucker's here 'til at least Sunday; so I was unanimously elected to keep the ice water running for the day.

It’s been a brutal week. After my December infusion of vitamin D, I usually manage to hit the ground running in the new year. You know, when most of the gloom is gone and the snow is bright white. But because the weather's been so cold, the only exercise I have managed to get is shoveling the driveway twice. (Noting that exercise, combined with my light therapy, is key to me keeping my seasonal affective disorder in check.)

Oh, my stupid SAD. Now that I'm aware, it makes me so very conscious of my overall ability to be a big hairy bitch this time of year. I have to be so regimented about my routine it feels like I should have been cast in the movie Groundhog Day.

At this point, I am just constantly grinding my teeth for the first of February to arrive, then, it will be full steam ahead to spring. I don’t expect you to understand if you don’t suffer but it is absolutely maddening that I feel that I can't wake up. I am serious when I admit that I just want to hibernate and it has nothing to do with being depressed.

I read somewhere that people don’t notice if it’s winter or summer if they are happy. 

I call bullshit. I’m very happy, yet I have enough common sense to know that when the hair in my nose freezes instantly it’s winter, and when my brain freezes fast it’s definitely summer; and said freeze is usually caused by a gigantic serving of tiger tail ice cream.

Ah, now I’m craving junk food. I can’t win! At least my snow shoveling photo ROCKS!!

Glass half full... right?!

Who other than me likes to shovel snow? I know, I suck!
TAKEN: JANUARY 3rd, 2018

W IS FOR WINTER

I HATE IT.... END OF POST!

BRING ON THE HEAT!

As I got ready for work this past Wednesday morn, the local radio station warned me to bundle up. Even though spring had officially sprung the DJ let me know my morning walk was going to have me endure some serious -28C weather with the wind chill. I didn’t care.

Why? Because when you’ve geographically lived where I do as long as I have, you realize that this particular early spring cold snap is just winter leaving us with a sheer sense of haste whilst sticking its middle finger up at Mother Nature!

NO Hair, NO makeup, AND happier than a polar bear on an ice shift to be outside!
TAKEN: JANUARY 1st, 2017

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't hate winter, just simply despise how it affects me. I don’t know about you but it’s been a brutal winter for me. No matter how much time I spent outside, I was unable to turn my funk into fab. I had great days, like the one I am sharing in my photo, where I made a massive fire in the effort of getting as much natural light and exercise as possible; but by sun up the next morn, those neat vitamin D produced chemicals were once again depleted.

In an effort to keep my life as uncomplicated as possible, I unhooked electronically from a number of people that drained me emotionally, rather than showed any general support. It's not like I've ever looked for sympathy when it comes to my seasonal affect disorder but when you know I'm down, I'm not sure why certain peeps felt the continual need to kick me. My only reasoning's that they were unable to give to the friendship because they only ever had an expectation to take. To self preserve, I simply had to let them go.

Anyway, because the firm Darin is a partner in does work in Muskoka, once we confirmed my travel timing, he began sending me a weather updates from New Orleans. On the very day I ventured into the very cold spring tundra,  his graphic read that it was 70F in the moment that he was walking to the office.

My first reaction was surprise in that appeared a tad chilly. Not sure why that was the first thought the entered my mind, it should have been how quickly our visit was approaching. If I think back, it probably had something to do with the extremely limited fashion choices I have to make and the single piece of carry on luggage I get to take away on my adventure to visit him; but that's another post.

I am looking forward to being in NOLA during the April A-Z Blogging Challenge.

Will F be for Fashion? Hell no! The letter F will definitely be for French Quarter Fest!!

NO SOUP FOR ME!

Last week produced some of the worse walking and driving conditions in my neck of the woods in a very long time. The good news is that by the time Friday morning rolled around the mercury was well above freezing and it managed to climb to a balmy 5C yesterday. It felt good to be out and about town without a coat in January.

So here's the million dollar question of the day: A northerner by birth, have I finally learned to live in harmony with winter; or am I just so conditioned to going through the motions, that I can completely compartmentalize my serious disdain for this time of year? For a couple of reasons, in this very moment, I have to go with the latter.

Road were exactly like my rear view mirror... Slickery!
TAKEN: JANUARY 18th, 2017

You see, over the holiday break I received some very shocking & heartbreaking personal news about a very dear friend. So as a group it was decided we'd hop a plane and head into the sun for the Family Day long weekend. Nothing extravagant, just a quick flight and 3 quiet days away from it all. As always, I gladly offered to book everything online.

Having had no time to really focus on flight times etc., I decided to finally roll up my jammie sleeves this morning, go online and book. The original condo decided upon was out of the question as the owner got his dates mixed up. So, as a back up, I'd short listed other options. The disappointment this morning's that I should have never procrastinated as I have to go back to the drawing board.

Dang, spang! Before my exercise this morning, I genuinely found the thought of last minute travel exciting; which is no longer the case. My bad. Because I want specific criteria met, I am not having much luck. The truth is I was trolling my friends on Facebook in hopes of getting some suggestions and help; and though they've all been helpful, I am disappointed to report there's still no soup for me.

Yep, even though there's no soup for me, my glass half full's reminding me that it's a probably a good thing. With my complete and total crap luck these last few months, I'm sure had I hit the jackpot today and scored what I wanted,  the soup served would not have been piping hot and hearty.

Likely the opposite.You know, more a bland and unsalted cold vichyssoise!

What can I say other than....Ya Gotta Laugh About It!!

NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING…

A quiet house waiting for morn.
TAKEN: DECEMBER 24th, 2016

Well, once again, that’s it for Christmas. 

So much hype and panic that ultimately resulted in your annual giant turkey and carb coma. Oh my goodness, I don’t know about you but I felt full of holiday food until I went to bed Boxing Day night!

As much as year over year the traditions of the season remain the same, this year I found myself in much different territory. Our last child moved out in mid-December and I admit I am a tad surprised how big I immediately found the house. Not in a bad way, more a truly unexpected one.

One doesn't recall what it's like to not have a roommate until you wake up at 5:30am for work and realize you don't need to worry whom will hear you. For me, I thought that's what I missed most; then Christmas Eve hit.

For the first year ever, I didn't get together with a single one of my children on the eve. To mark another first, they all have roommates. Yup, on the eve I got up in the morn, posted to my blog, ran my errands and settled in for the day. I had an early dinner, watched a movie and headed to bed early. So early, that I woke up at 5am reminiscing on how the kids use to wake us up in the dark. Right up until they left the first time more than 5 years ago.

As I awoke and perked the coffee Christmas morn, I wasn't surprised that it was my daughter leading the plight to head home. She's always been the holiday gatekeeper but I found myself glad that she hadn't changed. You know why?

No matter how much I hate the lack of light this time of year, she provides more than enough energy for everyone around her; it's refreshing.

For that, I will always be absolutely and unequivocally grateful.

Who needs a selfie stick when you have Goobs extra long reach?
TAKEN: DECEMBER 25th, 2016

N IS FOR NOVEMBER

As you know, I hop on a plane in late fall with the hopes of getting a head start on coping with our tough Canadian winters. My issue isn't with winter per say, I'm very active outdoors, so once the snow arrives I spend as much of my spare time embracing the white stuff as I can. I don't mind raking the leaves in October nor the sporadic snow fall we receive in December. My issue is with the entire month of November.

Cottage Closing Day
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 1st, 2015

I don't truly hate November, simply because my mother always taught me never to hate anything ...It takes too much energy to hate, she use to say. 

So I'll admit that I strongly dislike the month in general and truly resent the bane of its overall existence. How's that for setting the tone on how I really feel?

There are so many things that happen in November that I truly dread. The cottage gets closed, the days get shorter, the hydro bills get larger and my bank account seems to require life support as all the annual payments come due. It's just a month filled of things I generally dislike.

As I began to write this morning, I realized that the month I am complaining about is aptly named.

NOOOOOOOOOOvember is not not, nor ever will be my friend!

APPARENTLY, I HAVE AN ISSUE?

A few months ago I was involved in a labour forecasting meeting where I was introducing a new weekly reporting mechanism I’d designed using Google Docs. In preparing to begin my demonstration, my Goggle+ profile (which you all see when you read here, comment on our Facebook page, or read my Tweets) popped up for me to log into. Without missing a beat, my Boss quickly asked… “What’s with the shades?!”

I vaguely explained that my profile pic's a very symbolic selfie that was taken at a time when I could feel my life changing. It was right around that time I began my electronic journal and as a result it has stayed with me this entire time. That said, I may have told him the story of the day I took the picture but I neglected to tell him that when it comes to me and sunglasses, I may have a wee bit of an issue.

Sporting my newest UV acquisition from last Friday.
TAKEN: MARCH 13th, 2016

If I recall, it started when I was in high school. Like most girls my age, I worked part-time and enjoyed something very exciting called disposable income.

By way of my personality, I knew early on that I would never occupy the proverbial “buy the shoes” lane. Yet, I discovered quickly that without incurring a boat load of expense, a pair of sunglasses could make the most amazing fashion statement. (That, combined with the fact that Corey Hart rocked the Billboard charts with Sunglasses At Night, sealed my 30+ year fate.)

Long story short. I had to scoot into the city last Friday to renew my passport. So, when my mission was accomplished I took it upon myself to do a little shopping. Almost eight hours later, I arrived home with two very small purchases. A new bathing suit and another pair of sunglasses. I could tell when I showed them off to Staccs, she really wasn’t impressed. I explained to her, what I have always believed to be true: some women like shoes but I am magnetically and compulsively attracted to a great concert ticket and sunglasses.

This morning, as I gushed over my new specs, she felt the need to share that she'd spoken of me to her father when I wasn't around. She admitted that when she and her father were in our local grocery store yesterday (that offers optical services) she spied a really neat pair of flashy colourfully tinted reading specs she thought I’d love. She mentioned to her Dad that she thought they should pick them up for me. It was at that point my daughter told me that my husband stopped and turned to her with a matter a fact attitude. “When it comes to sunglasses… Your mother has issues” he said.

I don't want to disclose how many pairs of sun specs I have, except to say that my husband bought me a 5 gallon tote and lid this weekend and mentioned that it may be time to for me to increase my storage.

I told him to use his comical (albeit much needed gesture) for his vintage album collection!!

I am pleased to report his albums have found a very safe haven,

Sun accessory issues my ass!!

IS IT TIME TO SINK OR SWIM?

Don’t you find it interesting that the majority of our conversations begin with a mention that leads to a discussion about the weather? Perhaps I notice it more than most, because where I come from,  the weather influences everything from your mood to your ability to earn a year round living.

Keeping that in mind, as I was telling my BEF (best electronic friend) how excited I am that spring had sprung, they in turn commented that Muskoka still looked like a frozen tundra. I didn’t want to ask them if they were sniffing glue but I’m not gonna lie, thank goodness I have a filter because that very thought immediately entered my head. Frozen tundra? For crying out loud, the ice is sinking!

So, with that as our carpool chit-chat topic for the ride home, I asked the Sweeny-Meister to pull over so that I could hold up my phone to prove to the electronic naysayer that spring was most certainly here. She did, I clicked away, then immediately sent my pics. Then, when I got home, I downloaded them onto my office hard drive and this particular photo really resonated with me.

This bridge is the prettiest thing left at the old Tamwood Lodge site
 ~ on Lake Muskoka
TAKEN: MARCH 10th, 2016

When I spied this photo, I couldn't help but focus on the bridge. My point was to prove the ice was melting, yet I couldn't help but wonder... 'Is the bridge at her limit, or is she stronger than ever?'

My glass half empty tells me she's cooked. My glass half full has a much different opinion which is probably why I was reflective. 

My glass half full knows what she's been though and that she's fought very hard for herself these last 5 years. In the midst of a lot of change happening, she still remains firmly in place. Can she hang in there and endure the lakes opening one more time? Does she really even want to hang on? Or, would she rather give up and let it all go?

Just like any strong woman, only she knows those answers. For what it's worth, I think she's experienced the worst of what she's been handed & she should hope for the best as the seasons change once again.

Afterall, though she stands alone, she represents the end of a beautiful time in Muskoka.

LEAF IT TO ME TO PONDER...

Is the leaf lonely... Or simply determined?
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 20th. 2016

I was awoken yesterday morning by my daughter asking if there was an umbrella handy. In a haze, told her where she could find one but wondered what the hell she needed one for.

When I pulled the window blinds, I realized that it was pissing down rain outside. (Never, in all my years, do I remember it pouring rain on the 20th of February.)

As I looked through the massive rain drops that covered my bedroom window, I discovered a site that I could completely relate to. It was a single maple leaf, on the biggest tree in the yard, hanging on for dear life. It instantly made me smile. Not only for its endurance but with my own anticipation of an early spring.

As I stood at my bedroom window, admiring my newest friend, I grabbed my phone to take a picture. When I got to my desk, I realized I hadn’t done the wee chap justice. So, I grabbed my Nikon, threw on my rubber books and bolted outside into the rain. For whatever reason, I stood there looking up and embraced the ice pellets hitting my face.

As you know, I speak openly here about Seasonal Affective Disorder. Looking up at that leaf I realized that's exactly how I cope with the darkness of winter. Alone, and at times feeling as though I am barely hanging on.

So, you can imagine my delight when Friday morning, as I walked to meet the Sweeney-meister, the sun was up; a first. That small sign of light tells me that the end is getting closer, I can feel it. Though the last couple of months have been a tad long and at times lonely, I sense that spring will bring some new and exciting things. As I do every year, I’ll be glad to rekindle old friendships, as well as discover a few new ones.

Yup, for the first time yesterday morning, I reaffirmed a couple of very important things. My last months of perseverance tells me that I am as strong as the leaf in this picture.

Not sure how else to explain a silly instant connection... to a lone leaf.