Y IS FOR YAHTZEE

As I’ve written before, it’s not always easy having two places to maintain a mere 15 minutes apart. I’m in no way complaining, rather just pointing out that the weather has so many things happening on the fly. If we stay home there’s work to be done and if we head to the cottage its offers the same loaded buffet of chores. 

That said, all these years later, I have never focused my energy on the work. For me (in either instance) it keeps me outside and exercising, or inside with the tunes cranked cleaning; until I can get outside soaking up the sun.

After the work is done, we literally let the games begin. 

That's fifty points baby!
TAKEN: July 2013

If you recognize game pic I’m sharing, you’ll know it takes little skill and a lot of luck to play. It tends to be what we easily agree on playing first.

It always seems neither of us want to think too much after chores are done. To make it a tad more interesting, we play an entire Yahtzee page, which is six games at once.

The other side to that coin is that I very rarely ever win. It can’t be because I have less skill, because you’ll agree it take none to play. 

My issue is in the luck department I have absolutely none!

L IS FOR LOGISTICS

 “The line between disorder and order lies in the logistics…” ~ Sun Tzu

The dynamic duo chillaxin' taking in the beautiful topography.
TAKEN: APRIL 6th, 2023

When you’re traveling as far as we did for four nights, to ensure you can experience as much as possible, there needs to be a lot of planning involved. 

Our first step being getting us from the airport to the hotel. When we were leaving LAS and headed to grab a taxi, a group of guys heading up the escalator yelled down in tandem, “YOU GUYS NEED TO DOWNLOAD UBER!”

I wanted to yell back, “didn’t your mother teach you not to get into cars with strangers!?!” Instead, we just smiled and waved back.

Unlike some, I refuse to install apps on my phone that house my credit card information. Therefore, using Uber, Lift, or Samsung Pay has never been something I have ever entertained.

What we did include in our carefully planned trip, was a car rental for the day to take a road trip and save on the large fees tour companies charge. 

We knew we wanted to hike Red Rock Canyon. What I missed when hatching the plan was that we needed a reservation to enter; as they only let so many cars in the park at one time.

Rather than trying to reschedule our logistically planned ‘just in time’ day, we made the best of the situation at hand and enjoyed the views from the periphery, before heading toward the Pat Tillman Bridge and the Hoover Dam.

The fact that when back on the road we went over an hour out of our way, went south instead of north on 215 taking us toward LA... Before my driver would listen to me telling him we were going in the wrong direction?

Not even worth mentioning! #yagottalaughaboutit

MY MARRIAGE COIN

 I read somewhere that marriage is an institution designed to let you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. Yet, I’m sure when you flip my blog and bitch about marriage coin really high into the air it would read: The perfect marriage is between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

I know you’ll probably find this hard to believe, but since opening my own business in 2004, as an entrepreneur I quickly learned to hone two very specific social skills. 

1. ALWAYS take a 24-48 hour cooling down period before speaking to whom you’re truly aggravated with, because words can never be taken back.

2. AND...Smile and be thankful for every piece of shit pie eaten that generated revenue. 

As you can see from my last couple of electronic offerings, this Covid crap has me crazy cranky.

The cherry on top of that statement is our first official summer vacation together since 2012 was received worse than Bob Dylan going electric and sadder than Levon Helm leaving The Band because of it.

We may have only been at our cottage, but it rained six out of ten days and by this past Saturday morning (when our water pump failed yet again) we both hit the ‘this fecking sucks’ wall. It was clear in our Sunday morning volume alone, we both really needed to take a break. 

I moved home with the dogs. He did not.

Now, I should share, we rarely fight nor even disagree.

The two of us at my company Christmas Party
TAKEN: DECEMBER 2000

In our many decades together we have learned to skillfully navigate each other for continued success. In this instance, our small cottage space, two wet dogs, and a thrice mis-installed water pump got the best of us.

How bad was it? If a successful marriage requires you to fall in love many times with the same person… I’m thinking by Labour Day weekend we might be ready for a lunch date.

That said, I can assure you that it was so bad, my best girlfriend will be making one of those famous ‘escape a really bad date’ phone calls; fifteen minutes in.

#yagottalaughaboutit

MY MARTIAN!

My martian and I at the top of El Faro with the Port of Mazatlan in the background.

TAKEN: NOVEMBER 30th, 2019

Apparently, what happens in Mazatlan, doesn’t stay in Mazatlan. It returns to Canada as a gastro-intestinal bug that lingers and gurgles for the better part of two weeks!

Aside from that, I managed to make it home unscathed. Thankfully the weather cleared and a half decent suntan was achieved.  A couple of books were read and our flight home was both comfortable and uneventful; just like the rest of the week away.

I’m sorry. I didn’t intend for that to read ungrateful. I’m very grateful. But this destination was different than any other we’ve ever visited. This trip’s the very first time that I felt uneasy in my resort surroundings. So much so that I didn’t like to walk anywhere alone; and I am VERY independent.

For example, even though it was one of the nicest beaches we’ve stayed on, and I absolutely loved swimming in the Pacific, we returned to our room immediately after dinner in the evening and only ventured off resort once.

Where we took the Colectivo (public transit) in Mayan Riviera, we decided to hire a Pulmonia driver to tour with us for the day when we ventured into the city. The little more than one hundred dollars Canadian was money very well spent.

The driver was a result of us being warned, after we arrived, that the people in this area of Mexico have a preconceived notion that all Canadians are extremely wealthy; and therefore you are always a possible target. 

You can imagine in a resort as large as where we stayed (almost 800 rooms) and only a handful of occupants being Canadian, just how small a presence we had. It was intimidating and frankly quite scary.

Anyway, home and settled with yet another passport stamp, I have to admit that the core of the city that caters to tourism was absolutely stunning. I have scads of amazing photos that I will be able to reminisce over for years to come.

That said, once we were home and settled, my husband began searching the cost of month long rentals on the beach where we stayed. Which made me stop and wonder.

What did he misunderstand about my verbalizing my fears and witnessing how sick I got? And how will we manage to stay married spending our early retirement winter months apart?

Once again unequivocally proving that my man is definitely from Mars.

Because this here cat?

Ain’t NEVER goin' back! 

THE ELECTRONIC TRUTH

Last week I got into a powerful and somewhat emotional disagreement via text message with a a person I would generally classify as an electronic friend. You know the type, those that claim to be your friend, yet go out of their way to only communicate with you via text message or social media.

It’s been my experience that those specific types of friendships generally evolve with people you once worked with, or acquaintances you met though someone else that somehow want to maintain an unconventional personal connection.

The latter are those that surround the periphery, generally checking in to see how you’re doing, sharing photos and tidbits of mutual interest when they have a minute. Some, not all, can be exhausting and definitely time consuming.

That said, my disagreement was with an electronic peep that was a combination of both. They were an interesting character, and I knew early on that they had a personal agenda toward me within the construction industry. So much so, that they generally only came a texting when in need of something; flaunting their classic M.O., that they 'missed me'.

Because I've always been in tune with the above specifics of said person, over the last several years there have been times with large lapses of any communication, primarily because they'd always end up breaching my trust. With each instance, I withdrew further and further away from them. Yet, for them, once they'd manage to reinstate any contact they felt they were in the position of unconditional access to my network, not to mention my positive albeit sarcastic & somewhat entertaining electronic energy.

Does anyone else reading here have some serious trust issues? Because I for one, most certainly do. As I reflect inward, I’m not sure what they stem from, but I can tell you they truly exist. So when the right circumstances align, I find myself devastated. A while back I remember reading a  text book analogy on the subject, being: “Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again.”

Though it saddens me to admit that after crumpling and trying to smooth over the same piece of paper, the years have taken their toll and I asked them never to contact me again. The reasoning for my request was that they offered me advice on sorting out some of my issues, stating ‘it’s what friends do’. After sleeping on it Friday night, I realized that I only had one issue. Singular. Them. To which I knew would evaporate by ending any future contact.

Look, we all know that good communication is tough enough face to face, rather than relying on your thumbs to bear the burden of any general message. That said, I worry each of my electronic friends will wonder if it’s them that I’m writing about. I can assure it's not. You see, I am confident the one I am writing about will never stop by here again.

Suffice is to say, I consider his aptly labelled ongoing 'issue'... officially resolved!

A perfect image to illustrate that trust is earned.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2nd, 2014

MY PERFECT TRAVEL PROJECT

As you can imagine, as your family grows & leaves the nest, you end up holding onto a wide range of crap you'll never use again. In this particular instance, it was a 10-seater picnic table we'd acquired when the kids were small.

It always came in handy for family gatherings at the cottage, but for the last 5 or 6 years it simply became an over-sized eyesore. So much so, that last summer my husband asked me if he should just cut it up and burn it. Not one to ever throw baby out with the bath water, I asked him to cut it in half because it I thought it would be neat to have it by the fire whenever we had friends over.

Well, a year later, we'd always used lawn chairs to bask in the glow of a great fire and sat on the stupid thing a grand total of once. With the 2018 cottage season starting late, he once again asked if he should just take the chainsaw to it and get rid of it. I agreed but like most handy-person chores in my life, it never got done. (Yes, that was a direct jab at my husband and his inability to manage his time.)

Anyway, a week or so later, out of the blue I had a light bulb moment and I headed straight over to YouTube. About a half an hour later, I knew what I wanted to do with this neat gem that had so many family memories attached to it...I was going to build a floating picnic table!

As I started to make a shopping list of items that would be needed, I discovered my task could be accomplished with 100% recycled material we had at the cottage, meaning zero dollars spent. The one thing that was alluding the project moving forward, was time: I had none.

Then, last week when I'd finally accomplished what I needed to from such a late cottage season start, I asked my husband if he would help me with my project. I know most of you are wondering why I'd have to formally ask for his help, and there are a number of reasons. First and foremost when it comes to any type of honey-do construction, he tends not to measure twice and cut once, more like cuss loud and cut twice... But with both of us on the same page, and all the supplies gathered and a plan ready to hatch, we began in the rain.

Working together, we started framing for the billets and finished by cutting off the legs to the table which would ultimately reduce resistance as I moved around the lake.

Total time we invested: an hour and a half.

Once in the lake, I realized I had a major design flaw. One flat-coated retriever and an over zealous yellow lab (that wouldn't feel a hunger pain if she went a week without food) weighed far more than I combined, which established early that any movement of this new to me contraption, had to include them.

My new means of travel around the lake is PERFECT!
TAKEN: July 15th, 2018

Once I detached from the dock, our first tip into the lake was epic, and Annie was out. Puddin' on the other hand, was more obsessed with my new play thing than ever.

She and I finally determine it wouldn't tip if I hung onto the the top of the picnic table as I let her climb aboard.

By mid afternoon, I had my scuba flippers on my feet and she was ultimately content relaxing on the table top as I continued tooling around the water. 

After a really great day of exercise, curious onlookers, visitors, and laughs, I have decided that I am going to take this amazing effort to the next level.

My upgraded design sees two more billet sections on the sides for stability, and I 'm going to buy an electric trolling motor. I will also make a provision for a small anchor, then stain it my favourite colour red for high visibility. Not because I didn't like being tethered to my dinky floating dock via a 40' polypropylene rope.... but because you all know how much I truly LOVE to travel.

I wonder if Air Miles offers floating picnic table travel points?

Like I've always said.... There's no such thing as a bad question.

ONLY YOU CONTROL YOUR SHINE

I am a firm believer that only those whom truly care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.

I  also wholeheartedly believe that great friendships, and relationships to some extent, never actually end. Instead, it’s like they go into hibernation until both are ready to participate again. That, or until the overall effort is placed into a folder labelled life lessons learned; only for you to reflect upon when your life calls on you to verbalize to yourself about what NOT to do.

A cool streetlamp pic as I am walking to carpool
TAKEN: JANUARY 23th, 2018

My point is that I was sitting across from a co-worker today, sipping a bowl of soup, watching her describe a very unique and special friendship she'd had. It was amazing to watch. I'm not kidding, her entire face lit up and she was excited to be reminiscing.

In the end, she'd shared that her relocation & personal injury meant they had lost touch about two years ago. We finished our lunch, returned to the office and went back to business.

I couldn't help but continue to think about what she'd said. I grabbed my phone and walked over to her office. I showed her this picture, telling her its premise was to compliment a post I have been working on that speaks to exactly what we had discussed at lunch. I followed that with a very enthusiastic (picture the pompoms and cheerleader outfit folks)... "Get in touch with your friend. You never know where they are at in their life."

Any/all friendships & relationships are about finding a balance, and more importantly trust. I have a plethora of acquaintances in my day to day life, too many to name, and just a handful of true friends. You know the ones, that would unconditionally do anything for the other?

That may read a tad arrogant but I think Ed Sheeran explained it best in an episode of Carpool Karaoke, when he admitted that he had a cellphone for a about two weeks then no longer bothered to charge it. He said he would wake in the morning to fifty plus  messages and none of them would simply say: ‘hey, how are you?’

Instead, they would all be asking, ‘can I have this, can you lend me this, can you do this, can I get this?' Which he described as incredibly draining; and believe it or not, I can totally relate.

I have honestly stopped communicating with certain people because it became all about what they needed and nothing about overall balance. All they seemed to do was take take take. There would always be bait disguised as care, but their personal agenda was very evident.

In the end, I share with those I surround myself with something called 'my shine'. Truth be known, I stole the label about a year ago from my lunch mate today.

Though her personality makes mine look like an introvert, she's taught me a number of very valuable life lessons in a very short period of time.

I'm not bragging or anything but she & I are in true friend territory!

...and it's not just because we both like soup.

A CLEAR 361 SLEEPS AGO

Plain ole me on the balcony with one kick-ass suntan!
TAKEN: December 2nd, 2016

In the midst of packing my suitcase this morning, I stopped, sat down at my desk and decided to quickly scroll through the hundreds of pictures I took this time last year when I was vacationing on the Mayan Riviera. 

Three hundred and sixty one sleeps later, I still have so many mixed feelings about that trip and the life changing shit show I returned to, that I swear I was on the verge of a panic attack at the simple thought of packing!

I’ve never vacationed in the same place twice before. It’s been both a conscious & very personal decision, as I ultimately continue to search for as many different stamps in my passport before my 57th birthday. 

That said, I had to set that theory aside when I booked this puppy this September past, as I knew I needed a do over on this one. In a nutshell, I am in need closure, that in turn will hopefully bring celebration for the personal growth I have experienced in the last almost year.

On one hand, I have so much to be grateful for. Yet, I find I harbour some very innate fears about certain aspects of my day to day life which ultimately cause me more stress than it should. Growing up I remember my mother always telling me 'to never to hate anything' because it took too much energy away from all the good around you. This year has proved that to me tenfold; for which I truly appreciate.

As my girlfriend and I text back and forth today about wardrobe, weight gain & bathing suit choices, I was pleased to see via Facebook that the British friends met last year were boarded on their plane as it fueled on the London tarmac. That right there made me excited to continue packing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You can't stop change only manage it. So what are my hopes for the extra pounds I am carrying to Mexico this year?

Over the last couple of days I cut & coloured my hair, waxed all the bits of me that needed waxing,  then this morning I applied a top coat of sparkle nail polish to my freshly manicured toes; all in hopes of providing a much need trifecta affect of distraction against the weight gain.

Do you think there may be a bit of delusion woven into my approach to create illusion?

Me three... But it helped clear my thoughts so I could finish packing.

#yagottalaughaboutit

THE RIGHT STUFF

Last week, after a generally disheartening and somewhat life changing day, I decided to head to the cottage for dinner. Just like the rain cloud that followed me around for the majority of the day, during my drive from town it started to sprinkle. By the time I got out of the car and to the bottom of the hill, I was in the midst of a full blown downpour. Suffice is to say once I finally unlocked and got through the cottage door my lovely summer wears were pretty much soaked.

Without a second thought, I kicked off my sandals, zoomed through the kitchen, opened the patio door and headed down the stairs to the water. As the rain intensified, I simply closed my eyes and absorbed the moment. Before long, I could feel that not only was I completely relaxed but by now I was also soaked to the bone. You know that vibe? When your makeup's running, whilst the pungent smell of wet dog overpowers the scent of the copious amount of hair product one puts in their hair.

In that very moment, any/all stress and concern disappeared and my overall disposition completely decompressed. Nothing, and I mean nothing (other than maybe one of those perfect hugs that turns into really great sex) has ever offered me such a sheer sense of relaxation like consciously standing in the pouring rain.

Eyes closed, I could hear the pups swimming around me and swear I could feel each and every raindrop landing on me. For a brief moment my mind veered to why I was so glum, then immediately realized the point was moot. In no way, shape or form, was I going to let the bad behaviour of another occupy my good nature nor my loyalty a moment longer. I stood in that rain for more than 20 minutes and the only reason I went up to the cottage was fear I would need to put my phone on rice to dry it out.

Anyway, once I dried off and fed my pups, this image is what I arrived on the dock to find. Trust me when I write, more than a week later, the rainbow was meant to be. Kind of like an affirmation that everything was going to be alright.

Completely unrelated to my mood, the day following my social media post stating 'there's nothing better than standing alone in the pouring rain. It's like a mute button for life,' my boss sympathetically asked me if I was okay. When I assured him I was, I felt the need to add a very important tidbit. 

You know the person the coined the phrase, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" I said. "Today I'm honestly thinking they just need a a really good and solid punch in the face!"

We both burst out laughing and I knew in right then & there I'd be just fine.

Enjoy this amazing image and thanks again for listening.

This image is what the beauty of  making the right decision looks like.
TAKEN: JULY 26th, 2017

BAD LUCK OR LIFE LESSON?

For a very specific reason, at 5:15 a.m. yesterday morning, I reflected that I’d read somewhere that there's no such thing as good luck or bad luck. Instead, the big picture theory's that life itself is simply a vast array of either life lessons or blessings. Trust me when I share that when I mumbled those paraphrased words aloud before dawn yesterday morn it involved some extreme profanity; so I'll breeze over those specifics and fast forward to my point.

You can imagine my struggle to understand my general ability to compartmentalize my lot called a lesson whilst standing in the middle of my flooded downstairs family room at dawn. For instance, should that truly be the case, how the hell can I get out of this overrated classroom teaching me life lessons that mimic reality? 

Short story long, I returned home after an amazing weekend to a burst hot water tank. Now, here's where it gets interesting. I must say, what a difference 36 hours makes.

Before and after. It makes me sad.
TAKEN: JULY 10th, 2017

With the kids grown and gone, I head downstairs no more than once a week to clean. Because our home is without air-conditioning, from May to October, that space is pretty much doggie central. I keep it cool for the pups, whom generally scurry to the door when I pull in the driveway, so I never feel the need to visit them in their space.

To compound that, the laundry gets done by hand via my glass washboard at the cottage. So, though I still clean their space weekly, I have no need for the laundry room. I guess I could admit that I'm grateful something unexpectedly tumbled down the stairs yesterday morning, or I wouldn't have gone downstairs. Could going downstairs be characterized as a blessing?

Anyway, by mid-morning, I recalled I did a lot of research before we pulled up the carpet and replaced it with laminated flooring, not hardwood. Yesterday, my research became one of those things in disguise. The floating floor we'd installed was up in about an hour and a half, presenting me with blessing #2.

Blessing number 3? Treat people the way you want to be treated. One call and my new high efficiency hot water tank was purchased and installed by early afternoon. With fans oscillating and dehumidifiers buzzing I can only hope that I can afford to replace the flooring I really loved.

Afterall, we all know hydro gets paid first and I can see the spike in consumption from the instant the tank went down.  Though I had an amazing weekend, when all is said and done I am thinking I could have flown to see my best electronic friend for the lot of hydro that was consumed waiting for me to experience my first blessing. 

So I'll leave you with two things: Enough with the life lessons & I hate Hydro.

OK, three things. Lastly.... Ya gotta laugh about it!

ALL WAS DEFINITELY NOT LOST

Like most people I am a creature of habit.  When it comes to any defense and/or coping mechanisms, should something work I stick with it until it doesn’t, then I reassess. Like any stellar mechanic, I have a really cool toolbox filled with exercises I use to help keep my personality sharp and my mind out of any unnecessary darkness. 

I don’t talk here much about how big a pessimist I am but if I were to gauge it, I'd go with T-Rex large and twice as fierce. Anyway, after a bout of postpartum depression in the mid 1990’s, I decided a change in overall outlook (combined with an understanding of my limitations) the only way to go. As a result, I ended up to seeking help outside my family physician to avoid being medicated on anti-depressants. 

Forever an all important work in progress, I'm generally very open about the fact that I lean on a psychologist if need be; with my core philosophy being you take your car in for a check-up why wouldn’t you do the same for your mindset.

Short story long, I didn’t go to work today. Specifics as to why are moot points so when the alarm rang at 5am I immediately decided I needed to completely regroup and dig deep with a solid effort to go from funk to fab. Well rested, I finally rolled out of bed around noon.

Rested, yet restless, I needed to focus and find an unrelated task. I decided to remove and attack my hard drive that'd crashed from my office desktop unit last April and see if I could salvage anything from it. I got the necessary tools from the garage and began my dissection. 

Staccs n' me  rocking the white sand beach in Cayo Coco, Cuba
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 10th, 2017

I am pleased to report that I was able to successfully remove the hard drive without further damage and retrieve all of my precious data. Thousands of pictures but more importantly all of my taxation backup. Because as we all know...the taxman is a complete and total asshole!

As my data transferred I couldn’t help but reflect on the year I’ve had. If I wasn't what the doctors label clinically depressed last winter I’ll eat my fuzzy socks and lend you all the blankets I wanted to cover my head with. 

That said, my saving grace through all of that drama was the weekend jaunt I took to Cuba with my daughter. I salvaged this picture today. Isn’t she absolutely beautiful?

She will be excited to read that I got all of our travel pictures back. Along will all of our others from 2007 on. Hence the reason for my title that all was definitely not lost.

Who says being in a mental health daze can’t be rewarding, productive and amazing?!

NEVER WORRY WHAT OTHERS SEE

Always be whom you choose to be... Never worry about what others think they see.
TAKEN: DECEMBER 4th, 2016

This past year’s been a bit on an shit show as well as an exhausting whirlwind for me. So many firsts, as well as a couple of very significant lasts. I guess the Coles notes version would be that I traveled a bit and accomplished a lot. I am pleased to report that I reached the personal goals I'd set for myself, even though one very specific wasn’t truly crossed off my list until right before the clock struck twelve on the last day of the year; proving once again that you should never give up on something you're truly passionate about.

Well, just like this time last year, the cycle begins again. A little better than two weeks into 2017 I'm all ready feeling a tad overwhelmed with how I am going accomplish everything I want to in this year to come. I haven’t formally written down my personal goals on paper per say but I have a general outline as to where I want to land within the next 50 weeks. For the first time in my life, my goals contain some significant variables.

Anyway, as we roll into the year, I am pleased to announce that I have a new mantra. My 2016 lessons learned file has made me promise myself I will always be whom I choose to be, promising never to worry about what others think they see.

This new to me mantra arrives with the a specific caveat. If 2016 taught me anything, it was the reality to never allow anyone to take over your focus, no matter how badly you want to please them. At the end of the day, the majority of your time's spent simply inflating their personal agenda. I honestly feel if I keep my own personal focus, every single aspect about 2017 is going to be a win.

Why so simplistic? Though it's taken me a lot of years, I can honestly say look at myself in the mirror every morning and I like what I see. I treat people the way I want to be treated, I hold myself accountable without lying to escape the truth of an uncomfortable situation, and give 110%... 99.99% of the time. In 2017, I should I blessed and remain healthy, I've decided to only spend my time with those that truly matter.

Which is why I pledge to no longer fret about those that refuse to see... ME!

MY ANNIVERSARY NEGOTIATION

Well, this past weekend was my wedding anniversary. Although the year we celebrated isn’t officially represented by a gemstone, my friends at Google tell me that couples hitting the milestone, tend to mark the day with amethysts and orchids. We didn’t go the jewelry and flower route, instead we sent the money on how we’d decided to spend the day.

On that note. When my husband asked how I wanted to recognize our day, we bounced a couple of ideas off each other. Once I realized that we were miles apart on how we’d celebrate, I told him what I truly wanted; to repair the dock at the cottage. In all honesty, he really didn’t want to that (as he HATES any/all type of his handyman duties) but after a spurt of my begging, he reluctantly agreed.

I don’t care what anyone says, any marriage takes a boatload of work. That work, produces varying reasons for ultimate success. For us, one of the reasons that we have been successful all these years, is that we’ve always been willing to communicate and negotiate with one and other. For example, in the past when expressing a need to clear & burn brush at the cottage, his standard reply would be, “I’ll man the fire for you, if we can listen to the ballgame on the radio.” 

Knowing how he hates handyman duties I would always agree, though I truly hate baseball. In my eyes, no pain not gain, and my yard work result was always a win/win. So, suffice is to say, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when this past weekend dock repair came with a caveat. “I’ll help fix the dock …If we finally get rid of the slide!”

Now, he knows that I am completely and unequivocally attached to that sucker. I watched my children grow up on it, and with them grown and gone I still enjoyed it quite a lot. I know he offered that up as a condition, so that I’d say... “No way. Let’s go golfing down south!”

My good ole girl is down!
TAKEN: JUNE 11th, 2016

My only comment? I wish each and everyone of you could have seen the look on his face when I agreed.

The only downer was that when we were disassembling my ole friend, one of her legs fell off and dropped to the bottom of the lake. Out of respect, I let her spend the night on her side, stretched out on the dock. With any loss, I’ll have to reflect and figure a few things out.

…Like what I'm going to have to negotiate to get my husband to put her back up next weekend!

IS IT TIME TO SINK OR SWIM?

Don’t you find it interesting that the majority of our conversations begin with a mention that leads to a discussion about the weather? Perhaps I notice it more than most, because where I come from,  the weather influences everything from your mood to your ability to earn a year round living.

Keeping that in mind, as I was telling my BEF (best electronic friend) how excited I am that spring had sprung, they in turn commented that Muskoka still looked like a frozen tundra. I didn’t want to ask them if they were sniffing glue but I’m not gonna lie, thank goodness I have a filter because that very thought immediately entered my head. Frozen tundra? For crying out loud, the ice is sinking!

So, with that as our carpool chit-chat topic for the ride home, I asked the Sweeny-Meister to pull over so that I could hold up my phone to prove to the electronic naysayer that spring was most certainly here. She did, I clicked away, then immediately sent my pics. Then, when I got home, I downloaded them onto my office hard drive and this particular photo really resonated with me.

This bridge is the prettiest thing left at the old Tamwood Lodge site
 ~ on Lake Muskoka
TAKEN: MARCH 10th, 2016

When I spied this photo, I couldn't help but focus on the bridge. My point was to prove the ice was melting, yet I couldn't help but wonder... 'Is the bridge at her limit, or is she stronger than ever?'

My glass half empty tells me she's cooked. My glass half full has a much different opinion which is probably why I was reflective. 

My glass half full knows what she's been though and that she's fought very hard for herself these last 5 years. In the midst of a lot of change happening, she still remains firmly in place. Can she hang in there and endure the lakes opening one more time? Does she really even want to hang on? Or, would she rather give up and let it all go?

Just like any strong woman, only she knows those answers. For what it's worth, I think she's experienced the worst of what she's been handed & she should hope for the best as the seasons change once again.

Afterall, though she stands alone, she represents the end of a beautiful time in Muskoka.

M IS FOR MIFFED!

Why is it lately I feel like everyone is screwing me and no one is buying me a drink first?

Seriously... Old friends, new friends (assholes, that think they’re my friend) even the odd Facebook "friend". In keeping with that theme, I have to go on the record that no one has screwed me longer and harder than Hydro One!!

I know I’ve ranted about this before but I can completely understand how some Canadian households don’t know if they should feed their family or keep them warm. Though my situation may not be as grave, it doesn't leave me any less disgruntled.

I guess my biggest complaint is what Hydro One wants... Hydro One gets. NO offering of foreplay, and most definitely, not even a finite drop of LUBE.

I can honestly tell you that after the last couple of winters, nothing will ever surprise me. The only preparation I have for getting screwed, are the actions I take before I open the bill: I tense up every muscle in my body and brace myself for what's coming!

All I’ll say is that after every one of our monthly encounters, I’m always left unsatisfied.

No big surprise there. I suspect the CEO has a teeny weeny…. BRAIN!!!

F IS FOR FUNNY

My Birthday treat... Except it's not my Birthday!
TAKEN: APRIL 6th, 2015

When I returned from dinner last night I had a little surprise waiting for me in the room. It was a yummy treat accompanied by a birthday greeting. Funny thing was, it wasn't my Birthday.

I was joking with a couple of people before I left on my vaycay that my husband and I have been together all these years and he still hasn't a clue when my birthday is. True to form, he’ll broach his question like a fact finding mission every single year. It always starts... “I know your Birthday’s coming up, right?"

Truth? I was going through customs at YYZ on Sunday and a very attractive gentleman checked my passport and offered me an early Birthday greeting. That very tall dark & handsome drink of water and I shared good a laugh about who paid for my trip, only to have my husband remark afterward. 

"I’m pretty sure it’s his job to know when your Birthday is.  Afterall, it's right there on your Passport, and he has to check it..." he said.

Still laughing, I couldn't resist. “When is it?” I asked.

“You’ll see!” he said.

With the arrival of my yummy treat last night... I guess he really showed him!

Good thing that other lad had access to my Passport to confirm.

Ya Gotta Laugh About It!

I BLEED BASKETBALL!

A couple of summers ago, we had an Africa hot early pre-summer Muskoka heatwave. It wasn't the elevated temps that made it memorable, it was that our next door neighbours were expecting their first child. I was living at the cottage and doing the ten mile commute, while Goob worked and lived at the house in town. At home for the day (late in her pregnancy) I innocently asked her if he was behaving.

GOOB n' ME. Love that he's rockin' his classic Raptors Jersey!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 2014

“Other than the weekend pick-up games of basketball at 2am in the morning, I wouldn't think anyone was over there,” she said. 

"I can sleep through loud music” she continued. “It's the thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk of the ball on the driveway... It's like a slow drip to the forehead when you can't sleep!.” 

Naturally, I apologized.  Told her I’d speak to him and without hesitation, gave her very some very sound advice; if it happened again, simply go to the nearest open window and yell... "GOOB! PUT THE BALL AWAY AND GO THE F*CK TO BED!!” 

Taking the 'unconventional parenting approach' made no matter. The competitive, testosterone filled young men (we totally consider family) let it happen again. The net was taken down the next day and eventually disposed of. That said, though a childhood relic was put to pasture, we've never waivered  as a die hard basketball family.

I am officially going on the record that I am NOT a hockey fan. If you want to know why I don't 'bleed blue' the answer is simple. I bleed basketball. At this particular moment, I just can't confidently attach a colour to my passion. You see, not only can the Raps NOT decide on a logo; they seem to be a tad confused on which uniform colour to wear. Makes no matter. My philosophy has been deeply routed and totally ingrained since my children were small. 

GO RAPS GO... #WE THE NORTH!

It's Official... All Couples Complain!

I don't think I've shared this before, but I have known my husband since first grade. 

You may find it odd that I remember that little tidbit, but I have pictures of us in the same public school class the first year my family moved to town. Though we went all the way through to high school graduation together, we really did run in different circles. Why? My mother was strict, his mother was not.

Once we graduated high school, I worked for a year before I left for college. It was then, that we started bumping into each other once a week (at my work) because our jobs intersected. Flash forward a few years, when we officially ran into each other one busy Friday night in Muskoka. I was living in Toronto and home for a visit. It was when my mother first got sick.

Enjoying Canada's Wonderland without the kids.
Taken: July 2000

Why so reflective? 

I had a client come in to see me at work this past week and she was complaining about her husband. What she didn't know was that he had been in complaining about her earlier in the day.

They both admitted to me that they had been married over 50 years. After chatting with them, I felt a calm relief.

I understand the person you marry when you're in your early twenties, may not be the one you'd choose as a life partner at forty five or fifty. I get that.

BUT, that complaining couple reassured me that my husband and I are not alone. Truth of the matter is, just like them, we'll never stop bitching and moaning about the others idiosyncrasies, even into our 70's.

That quirky couple taught me a valuable life lesson. If you can manage to stay best friends and (constantly work to) stay on the very same page? Nothing else matters.

I'M EXCITED BABY... After listening to them...You & I have definitely got it made!

Back Off Blockhead!

Yesterday I stayed late at work because my mid-afternoon appointment was running behind. I was already cranky because I had officially rolled a twelve hour day, but the truth of the matter is that it was an important meeting for me. The builder, homeowner, and architect, all arrived together; and let me start by saying there was no way I could have prepared myself for what happened next.

Builder shakes my hand and cordially introduces me to his very wealthy client. Client smiles, shakes my hand, and announces he’s pleased to meet me. Architect walks toward me, says his name and shakes my hand. He then instantly announces “Come here you….” Without hesitation, he wraps his arms around me, and gives me a kiss on the lips. He turns to his customer and says “It's okay, Rhondi and I go way back.” I had never met this total nimrod until the moment he slithered in. 

Instantly, images of Lucy VanPelt rushed to the forefront of my mind. Just like Lucy, all I wanted to do was shout at the top of my lungs “Auuuuugh! I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get some hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine! Instead I froze in disbelief. I literally had to lift my my hand to close mouth that was frozen open.

Incase you're wondering...
I'm the one with the eyes wigging outta my head!

Just so we're clear, just because I brush my teeth and comb my hair does not give anyone license to enter my personal space bubble.

My personal space is exactly that, MINE. It truly has a real estate premium attached, AND it is (for lack of a better saying) a gosh for saken elite gated community. 

Glass half full? I never have to see this person again. From here on in the builder is running the show, and he and I are strictly on a "handshake only" basis. That said, if that dude ever walks into my place of work again, I know my voice will roar.

Which will be followed immediately by one very important question to my Bossman.... "What do you mean I don't get any severance pay? "

X Is For... X-CELLENCE

I know, I know, it's not a word but I don't have one (nor do I have the slightest hankerin' to ask for help). That said, there really is a point to my unconventional choice. 

I've had a pretty amazing month of April. The winter has had challenges (both personally and professionally) but I am pleased to report that I made it. I have a great tan, I'm completely rested, and I made it! Well rested aside, just when I was convinced that everything was copacetic, I get another curve ball. It happened yesterday afternoon and it was in the form of an email.

I immediately forwarded it to my friend Zack and asked the obvious question. "Do you think this was sent to be cruel?" It was from someone that's never really been a part of my inner circle, but they'd been corresponding with someone that use to be (and that person had really hurt me professionally). 

Zack's response was not only bang on, as an added bonus it was crazy comical. It made me laugh, and a day later I realize he's right. He's been right about the person for months & months, but it took the event yesterday for me to see it from his perspective.

April 27th, 2013 - Xcellence
Rhondi & Zack ROCK!

As I sit in crappy Super 8 in the middle of Pennsylvania, I have a couple of things to look forward to in my very immediate future:

1) Tomorrow I get to rest my A-Z.

2) I am less than 500 miles away from getting the hell out of this crowded (dog lovin') vehicle.

3) In less than 24 hours I will be sleeping in my very own bed again and...

4) I have a Monday lunch date with my buddy Zack! (I haven't seen him since Cottage Life so it's time.)

I Love You Man. Why? Basic math dude.

YOU + ME ='s  X-cellence...

  Friendship X-cellence!