Q IS FOR QUIT

WORDS WE LIVE BY.
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 8th, 2018

M IS FOR MONUMENTOUS

Two thumbs up from
my cool 'cuz' in the middle!
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 27th, 2026

It was definitely a day and evening to remember.

We met the entire group at the dock at 9am and by 9pm we were still going strong. All extremely sun-kissed from a nine-hour day on a yacht; everything about our late night dinner was perfect.

My one cousin, Tootsie (with the orange wristband on the far right) was staying with my aunt at a nearby all inclusive resort. The other four of us were staying together but walked to meet her so that she could join us for the evening. 

What can I say, with all others on our cousin’s trip ‘down and out for the count’, the five of us decided to let the wine and even more childhood stories flow at Villablanca Hotel (Santa Maria, Huatulco). 

Though we are all linked together electronically, there is something about aging and seeing and laughing with the people you love in person.

I guess my point is that the moment you realize how just how precious time is, THAT is when your entire perspective about life changes.

Which in itself is what made this amazing trip momentous!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!

Had an amazing cousin vaycay!
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 27th, 2026

Like most reading this, I am sure you can relate when I share that my first cousins were my very first friends. 

I have fond memories of my grandparents and my mom's different siblings’ homes being full when celebrating birthdays and holidays. In a nutshell, we all had a close connection growing up.

As we aged, and we have unexpectedly lost those we never imagined would pass away so soon, we decided to try again to plan an annual getaway. The messages started to flow in late September, for a week away in February 2026 for Huatulco Mexico.

Now, we have tried numerous times over the years to get everyone on board; with no luck. My one cousin from Saskatchewan (in the green sundress) and I tried for the last decade to plan something and things would always fizzle out. 

We've tried to organize a large home where we could all stay, all-inclusive vacations together, but nothing seemed to stick. 

At the end of the day, vacationing takes disposable income and truly is a luxury item, so I totally understand how some wouldn't want to participate in a 'first cousin trip' and do their own family thing. 

That said, it was something my cousin from Quebec mentioned (on the end in the red shirt) this time around that had my travel buddy hubby deciding to commit. He said, "I am tired only seeing my cousins at funerals!"

Of the thirty cousins I have on my mom's side, we have already lost six. The last passing was particularly hard for me, to which I penned My Favorite Cowboy in his honour.

As I look at the photo I am sharing (with two elsewhere on the 72 foot boat when the pic was snapped), there are so many others that I wish had made the trek.

I guess there will always be hope for next year. 

Because Lord knows... I will be there with bells on!

TOURING ISLA MUJERES

Lxchel protecting Punta Sur...
As we overlook the Carribean Sea.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 25th, 2025

After our bucket list trip to Palm Beach in Aruba last April, my travel buddy hubby and I knew our annual fall adventure would need to be a tad less impressive in stature; and all of Mexico has always been good to us!

Knowing we'd flown into Cancun airport about a half dozen times yet had never stayed in the hotel zone in the city, it seemed like a logical starting point. So, in early August we started to look at what a week there might look like.

We are big fans of the RIU Palace, all-inclusive line of resorts. Coincidentally, the one place I have been watching for about ten years went on sale. (I will post a photo of its unique architectural design at the bottom of this offering.)

Part of our decision-making process in the selection of our hotel was its proximity to the Ultramar Ferry dock to Isla Mujeres, which was literally less than a kilometer walk away.

We purchased our round-trip fares to cross the second day we arrived at the resort, that way, we could pick the best weather day for a neat adventure. (Price to go there and back was $98.68 Canadian for the day).

Once we had selected the 25th to cross, our next task was to rent a golf cart to travel the island for the day. (Rental was $117.88 Canadian, as we wanted to explore the entire island, so rented up until 6pm).

We left the public dock at 9am returning at approximately 3pm, so the only thing we needed to buy was lunch. Authentic Mexican cuisine at the Mango Cafe was a 12 out of ten and cost us $42.33 Canadian with a 20% gratuity. 

Our only other expense that day was $6.00 USD for entry into the Punta Sur Sculpture Garden located on the cliffs of the Caribbean Sea, and 30 Pecos to use the Bannos (public washroom). Believe it or not, they gave me a ticket for both, and I actually got a receipt when I used the Bannos in the center of the island!

All and all and excellent day, as amazing memories were made.

Our hotel with a hole in it from the ferry!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 25th, 2025

Stunning views of the Carribean Sea.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 25th, 2025

Our YouTube v-log lunch
recommendation was excellent
12 out of 10!
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 25th, 2025

BRITTANY BROUGHT IT!

Brittany IS da bomb!
All photo rights reserved audiophix.com

As I mentioned in my last post, we had such a blast at TIFF and then attending the Alabama Shakes concert at Budweiser Stage, I thought Brittany Howard (the lead singer for Alabama Shakes) deserved her own props.

I don't know about you, but I find that my travel buddy hubby and I have the most fun when minimal planning is involved. How I missed that she was headed to Toronto is beyond me but once I found out, I was all over it like white on rice.

We had been to the venue two Saturdays before to take Goob to see Leon Bridges, so it wasn't like we were in need to travel south again. But you know me, I know better than most the difference between want and need; and we WANTED to see her live.

Boy, she was young when we first hopped on her bandwagon. Her soulful sound and skillful guitar playing had her immediately rise to the top. Though she hit the circuit in 2012, she landed at the forefront when was one of and ensemble that performed The Weight in the 2013 Grammy Award tribute to the late Levon Helm.

Once in the mainstream, she led them as the musical guest on SNL. Here is a link from that performance over ten years ago Alabama Shakes - Always Alright (Live on SNL). 

Heralded as 'one of the best unexpected SNL performances ever,' all I can say is that she has gotten better and stronger over the last decade. 

As I reflect back and look at my photos and listen to all the videos I took last Saturday night, everything is washed out. We were sitting center stage at the railing in front of the floor pit, and nothing was salvageable to post. It didn't have that effect visually as we enjoyed the concert but in hindsight, I have a theory.

I have to think that the lighting and her positioning was purposeful. My best guess is that she wants her fans to focus on the sound, vibe, and musical perfection. Not how fast something can be uploaded onto social media.

If that's the case I just became an even bigger fan... Though, I can't imagine that possible!

Oh, not one to throw baby out with bathwater. Here's a pic I snapped just inside the admission gate.

Doesn't he look impressed?!

#yagottalaughaoutit

He has always made me laugh!
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 6th, 2025

 

TIFF-RIFFIC!

What an amazing vibe to experience. 
I LOVE THIS CITY!
TAKEN: SEPTEMBER 6th, 2025

From a very young age, movies and music were something my mother and I always enjoyed together. I have close to five hundred DVD movies at the cottage, and I am blessed to cherish and continually enjoy my mother’s extensive vinyl record collection: of 78, 33, and 45 rpm records.

Well, on September 6th, both those items are why my travel buddy hubby, and I arranged an early check-in to our favourite hotel in downtown Toronto, to embrace them together on the same day!

First up, the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) which is always a special event for Hollywood North.  That said, this year was a worldwide media frenzy with the premiere of the much-anticipated John Candy documentary titled I Like Me. 

(Click here for link to watch the official trailer). A great guy taken from us at 43 years of age, 1950 - 1994.

Now, I’ll admit, it all came together at the last minute.

You see, I took my son GOOB to Budweiser Stage in late August to see Leon Bridges and when I was checking when he was hitting the stage I discovered Brittany Howard and Alabama Shakes were performing on Saturday September 6th.

After chatting with my guy, we grabbed two killer concert tickets for the next weekend and instantly tried to book our favourite hotel. Which had a higher-than-normal price tag attached.

Why? TIFF was opening and the downtown was going to be jammed to celebrate all the stars walking the red carpet.

So, two takeaways from this post. I have always wanted to take part in the festival, and on a small level this year we did.

Secondly, Brittany was amazing and deserves her own post. 

…Stay tuned for Part 2

SHOCKINGLY, UNEXPECTED

BIG Grandma hugs at Christmas Brunch
TAKEN: DECEMBER 25th, 2022

We are saddened to announce the sudden and unexpected passing of my husbands mother, my mother in law, at South Muskoka Memorial Hospital on Wednesday August 27th, 2025. She was in her 77th year.

Losing a mother is one of the deepest sorrows a heart can know. She may no longer be here, but we know she will always be watching over us with love.

Cremation has taken place, and a private family graveside service will be held at a later date.

I am pleased to share some photos of her life.... She will be missed by so many.

Godspeed Angie. May you forever rest in peace.

PEELING AWAY THE LAYERS

My sister soaking up the sun!
TAKEN: AUGUST 4th, 2025

Summer was chugging along nicely and it was time for my sister to travel to us and spend ten days at L'Hotel Orillia Lake. We chose the same time for her stay as last year, and the weather didn’t disappoint.

Just like last year, I had an extended long weekend but had to work through the week. She didn’t seem to mind. She read four books and tethered to my hotspot to enjoy her electronic breaks; all and all we had a very good visit.

I am always reflective when I think of her. When our kids were small, we spent a lot of time together. But as my business and ultimately my career took off, distance grew between us. Though she was only an hour away, she could have lived in Europe. If I am being truthful, I will always have regrets for those lost years.

I don’t know about you, but for decades I haven’t been especially close with any of my siblings. I took the individual journey to nurse both my parents to their death before I turned forty, and none of them were anywhere to be found. 

Then there is the relationship I have with my sis. She made the choice to become estranged in November 2013. I was devastated.

Once we reconciled, in November 2023, it took me a full a year to fully understand what happened during that time. You see, she reminds me of an onion. I had to peel away the layers of that decade very carefully.

And, just like when I would peel layers off a real onion, sometimes I would weep. Her struggles were very real.

All I can say is thankfully all of those tears belong to the past. 

Today, we generally celebrate with tears of laughter, which are usually produced via us endlessly picking on my husband!

#yagottalaughaboutit

Z IS FOR ZEAL

I definitely have ZEAL!
(Image credit almay.com)

As I finish my 11th April A-Z Challenge, I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that I have always struggled with my very last letter. I think my plight is somewhat associated with the fact that I have yet to use the same word twice.

This year, I think my word came to me in around-about way. As I brainstormed letters with a pad of paper (and then the help of Google) I began to hone-in on my word of choice; then I found the graphic I am sharing.

Though sometimes most think of it as dedication or enthusiasm for religion, my personal sense of zeal differs.

I am willing, energized and motivated – still after all these years – to keep contributing to my electronic journal; and this annual challenge has always done that. 

When I look at all the words in the graphic there are a few words that apply to this post. 

Victory, excitement, success, determination, and even emotional.

All excellent descriptions of how it feels to make it through another twenty six posts in the crazy month of April!

Q IS FOR QUIET

 

The older I get.... It seems
quiet is what I seek most.
TAKEN: JULY 23rd, 2022
(Me, floating around Orillia Lake)

I'm not quite sure what happened. Ten years ago, I’d jumped through hoops to stay busy with friends and family but for the last couple of years, I just generally want to be left alone.

I suspect it started with the social distancing mandate that COVID had us live through. Then, as health issues began to plague my travel buddy hubby, I just became hyper focused on him and our home.

I suspect the icing on the cake was when I changed jobs at the end of 2021 and slowly began working from home (I only leave my home office a couple of days a month).

There are times when I feel guilty that I enjoy my seclusion - but as I can see retirement on my horizon, I feel I have earned my quiet moments.

 I truly feel I have spent my life in the service of others. Nursed both my parents to their death before I turned forty and gave my children ever possible opportunity I could manage.  In some areas, I think by doing so I failed them in some way. (…Maybe more than one.)

As we entertained fourteen for dinner Good Friday, my hubby and I decided that Saturday was going to be our day of rest.

The best reward?

A quiet nap.

It was perfect!

I IS FOR IMAGINATION

Words to live by!
(c) fearlessmotivation.com

 

COURAGE FLAG RAISED

 I woke this morning to a calendar alert from my phone simply labelled JS sentencing. Originally set for this day is September, it had be postponed two months until today.

As you know, I don't mention is name here but it is hoped that his sentencing today offers #JusticeForAshley. My beautiful coworker he murdered in January 2023.

I tried to log into the courtroom hearing this morning, only to discover that his sentencing would not be issued virtually. In turn, I have been checking Collingwood Today, every fifteen minutes, in hopes of finally hearing his fate. 

At about 2:45pm, reporter Erika Engel reported the following. Another milestone for Ashley.

This is her article, and photo credit and (c) belong to her. 

Courage flag raised in Collingwood while sentencing begins for local man who murdered wife.

Photo credit and (c) to Erika Engel of Collingwood Today

'The courage of a woman alone is not enough,' says executive director of My Friend's House during flag raising.

As a purple flag emblazoned with the word "Courage" was hoisted up a flag pole in Collingwood to mark Nov. 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, friends and family members of a woman who was killed by her husband in Collingwood read out victim impact statements in a Barrie courthouse during the sentencing trial for the convicted killer. 

"The courage of a woman alone is not enough," said Alison FitzGerald, the executive director for My Friend's House, Collingwood's women and children's shelter. "It does take a community to make a difference in the lives of abused women and children." 

Members of Collingwood council helped My Friend's House staff raise the flag in front of the library this afternoon. 

FitzGerald reflected after the flag raising on the sentencing trial happening simultaneously. 

"I think it's pretty significant that James Schwalm is being sentenced today, because it's a story where, on the surface and in the community, he seemed like a good guy and nobody really knew what was happening behind the scenes," said FitzGerald in an interview with Collingwood Today. 

Schwalm has pleaded guilty to murdering his wife, Ashley Schwalm, 40, in their home while their children were asleep overnight between Jan. 25 and 26. As the case been before the courts, details have emerged about their relationship heading toward divorce. 

Schwalm strangled his wife, then dressed her body in hiking gear, drove her in her car to a mountain road and crashed it into a ditch before setting fire to it. He fabricated text messages and security footage to cover up the murder. 

The couple lived in Collingwood at the time. He was a captain on a GTA fire department when he killed his wife. 

His sentencing trial continues this afternoon in Barrie. 

"So many people were shocked to hear about the abuse in that relationship ending in murder," said FitzGerald. 

"One of the important things about women's shelters and why they were created was the fact that when women are considering leaving, they are at the greatest risk of being murdered," said FitzGerald. "I think the case of James Schwalm sort of demonstrates that, and that's why shelters exist today and why it's so important that the community supports us to keep our doors open for years to come." 

My Friend's House fields about 4,000 calls per year from women and children in crisis. The phone is answered day and night, and the shelter's 12-14 beds are always full. 

FitzGerald said she doesn't want that to deter anyone from seeking help, as the My Friend's House team will always make it work if a woman and her children need emergency shelter. 

"We want women to keep calling," she said. 

Over the last three decades, FitzGerald has seen some changes in the Collingwood community when it comes to the work of My Friend's House. 

"I'm seeing an increased understanding of violence against women and the importance of making sure that women are supported and children are supported," said FitzGerald. "People don't walk away from me anymore, they say, 'oh, what great work you are doing.'" 

She said it's always a lot of work to raise the funds needed to operate My Friend's House services each year, and noted there are many charities in Collingwood doing great work and competing for the donations that Collingwood and area residents are giving. 

And though the day's flag raising was well-supported and marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, FitzGerald said the work of My Friend's House goes on, and will for a long time. 

"The rates of violence against women aren't changing, and I have a sense that they're actually worsening," said FitzGerald. "We're starting to hear about youth relationships ending in murder as well. So the issue isn't going away. My Friend's House is not going to go away anytime soon." 

If you'd like to support My Friend's House with a donation this year, you can do so through their website myfriendshouse.ca.

WE RESCUED STELLA!

Stella, who? 
Can't you see the yellow football? 
...We had a great day!!
TAKEN: OCTOBER 5th, 2024

Well, with the weather on our side, we headed to the cottage Saturday morn to begin the ritual of shutting it down.

Up the hill went a 42” Roku TV I’d used as an office monitor the last few years, as well as any/all perishable food we wouldn't need. Items of clothing that weren't officially labeled ‘cottage’ were packed for the season, including all my Quintana Roo appropriate swim wear. 

It was a long day, considering any other odds and sods that may freeze and make a mess when we open next spring we also packed and hauled. As a bonus, our washing machine was also drained and stored ahead of schedule.

The last thing we tackled was securing my beloved Stella (a.k.a the floating picnic table).

We had put her into Orillia Lake the long weekend in May, then three days later, all hell broke loose and my travel buddy hubby landed in St. Michael's hospital trauma unit for three weeks.

I know to most, pulling an old picnic table out of the water may not be considered a mentionable accomplishment. But, the fact that my guy could do the stairs and the ramp to help me pull Stella out of the lake and safe for the winter was amazing. When he made it to the first landing, he looked over the railing, acknowledging that this was 'the first time I have been down here all summer'.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a more significant milestone. Last month, the stroke clinic assured him, his hard work was really paying off. Did you know that if you suffer a stroke, your brain only tries to heal for the first six months?

Though I worried he was pushing it, him doing the stairs at the cottage actually worked in his favour. 

Him not being a quitter, has 95% of his stoke symptoms gone; the 5% remaining are very minor, and we have 54 days left on the calendar for  those to subside. We are grateful.

Here's looking to next year, and Stella getting the workout she has in the past. 

Stella and me both!

FOR WHAT IT’s WORTH

My wee Annie taking in views
from her new anti-anxiety bed.
TAKEN: AUGUST 23rd, 2024

For what it’s worth, I hope I never experience another summer like the one I'm currently living. As I go through the motions for the last long weekend of the season, I am folding like a lawn chair and willingly admitting that I am spent.

Between medical trauma at home, multiple personal losses of loved ones, and day to day work stresses, this past week was the last straw. We were worried we were going to have to say goodbye to our Annie. 

Then, after a visit to the vet yesterday, and $400 later, she is home. They have no clue why she is ailing and what is going on with her. Par for the course for the summer of 2024; as it has been a summer of limbo. 

Seriously, the only thing missing from that visual being the catchy tune playing and Chubby Checker singing, because yours truly has been bending over backwards (to the point of breaking) since mid May.

That said, I want everyone to know that I know better than most the symptoms of depression. I honestly don’t feel depressed, simply overwhelmed and ultimately deflated.

What I will share, is that come hell or high water, this whole ‘one step forward, four steps backward’ bullshit needs to come to an end.

And though I try and pride myself on keeping my glass half full, somedays it feels like the water has been turned off at the spigot and the lake in front of me drained dry.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I know my fear of the unknown is making me feel uncertain, which I have alluded to in previous posts.

Anyway, the other side of my ‘bitching about my really shitty summer coin’ is my more immediate remedy to help my negative mindset will be loudly listening to the Top 500 countdown on Rock95 outside all weekend. Forecast says it may be under an umbrella, as we have scheduled rain in the forecast.

See, that’s the forward and backward thing I just referenced. 

Hey, maybe I was just meant to master the Cha-Cha this summer. If that’s the case, call Dancing With The Stars.

...Because these last three months have deemed me a freaking PRO in that category!

#yagottalaughaboutit

MY FAVOURITE COWBOY

My amazing cousin Denny doing what he loved most.
TAKEN: AUGUST 2013
Denny Ladouceur 1958- 2024

When I was young, vinyl records filled our home with music. By the late 60’s my mother was gifted a new technology for listening to music in the form of a small cassette tape recorder. 

As a child, I distinctly remember only three cassette tapes that ever accompanied it. 

A Johnny Cash ditty (Boy Named Sue), The Seekers (Come The Day – featuring Georgie Girl and Red Rubber Ball) and one that was clear blue and simply labelled Christmas Eve 1969; it was by far her most treasured.

You see, that simple cassette was a once in a lifetime recording done late on the afore mentioned eve. The lore has it that the fancy new contraption had been confiscated by the ‘older first cousins' and the lengthy recording was filled with their voices after we all returned from midnight church services.

True to his confident self, the loudest voice on that tape was my amazing cousin Denny. 

Sadly, his beautiful voice was silenced suddenly on July 7th, 2024. He was a mere 66 years of age.

Older than I, growing up he was closer with my older siblings. But, as life would have it, spending the time we did at my dad's camp when my kids were small, he was always around. Our connection just kept getting stronger as did my connection to his music.

Eventually I began hiring his band to play corporate team building retreats and holiday parties and they always brought the house down. A super talented musician that played bluegrass music unlike any other, passing on that passion to his boys. Especially, the unstoppable Deryn!

Rest and sleep easy Den. It goes without saying that you will always be my favourite cowboy. 

Be sure to say hello to everyone up there and let them know we are doing OK and thinking of them.

Until we meet again..... 

THROW AWAY THE KEY!

Image copyright belongs to @CAN_Femicide
(Canadian Femicide Observatory for Justice & Accountability)

This is the second time I have posted here about femicide hitting close personally, and for the second time, I wish I had named my electronic journal... 

"I Am NEVER Gonna Laugh About It!!"

In this second instance, I have been writing about Ashley here for the last year and a half. Readers and friends know just how much I have struggled with the shocking and brutal murder of my former coworker. 

Well, on June 21st, 2024, her accused plead guilty and will be sentenced (after victim impact statements are heard) September 24th, 2024.  

Since the moment the murderer entered a guilty plea, I have read and listened to every possible account of what unfurled in the courtroom the day he admitted to his violent crime. The article I am sharing below, is by far, what I feel provides the most detail and insight into the final day of her life. 

My biggest fear, is that by waiving his right to a pre-trail, and taking the plea bargain to a lesser charge, he will be out sooner than later. That said, that shit scumbag doesn't deserve any space in my mind that is easily devoted to her.

Because, let's face it, if there is one thing my beloved friend truly deserves, it is to rest in peace and forever sleep easy.

On a very personal note. I will always pray for her young children, as they are sadly living victims, that will never forget the very last night of their deceased mother's life.

___________________________________________________________

Firefighter admits to murdering wife in Collingwood home then staging elaborate, clumsy coverup outside one of Ontario's wealthiest private ski clubs.

Written by: Betsy Powell

Courts Reporter - Toronto Star

Betsy is a reporter with the crime, courts and justice team at the Star

 BARRIE A Brampton firefighter who masterminded his wife’s murder and attempted to conceal it by staging a fiery car crash in Ontario’s ski country left behind a trail of evidence for police to unravel.

Soon after he strangled Ashley Schwalm, 40, to death early last year in their Collingwood home — which they shared with their two young children — James Schwalm sent a series of texts to himself from her phone.

It was an attempt to convince police that she was still alive. In one, he asked her to fill up gas cans for a snowblower.

But she was already dead.

On Thursday, Schwalm, 40, pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder but guilty to second-degree murder, admitting in a Barrie courtroom that he killed his wife in their two-storey, three-bedroom home, dressed her in hiking clothes, put her lifeless body in the passenger seat of her Mitsubishi Outlander and drove to Alpine Ski Club on Arrowhead Road.

Schwalm had borrowed his mother’s car and “pre-positioned it” at the Craigleith Ski Club North Lodge parking lot to use as a getaway vehicle after staging the crash nearby.

Sometime before 6 a.m. on Jan. 26, 2023, he set the car on fire, then went home to enact his alibi.

“Ok I’m going to zip out I think the kids will be fine their sleeping,” he wrote in one text to himself from Ashley’s phone.

“Eww I left the gas cans in my car and it smells,” he wrote in another, again pretending to be her.

And later: “Oh, I have vertigo. I’m going to rush home.”

Soon, he walked their two young children to school, telling them their mother was out on a hike.

In the days leading up to her death, Schwalm Googled “alomony” — misspelling “alimony” — and the questions, “can you see iophone history after deleted,” and “does a road flare completely burn,” and “throw road flare into fire.” He also asked a doctor at a social gathering if it was possible to kill someone by snapping their neck, suggesting he was trying to settle a debate with co-workers about the reality of Steven Segal movies.

Police soon found other clues.

There was a $1 million life insurance policy naming James Schwalm as the sole beneficiary in the event of his wife’s death, along with a $250,000 policy with the couple’s children as beneficiaries. Investigators also learned the couple’s 10-year marriage was also the rocks.

On Thursday, the excruciating details of Ashley Schwalm’s murder were revealed for the first time in an agreed statement of facts.

James Schwalm poured gasoline throughout the interior and then drove the vehicle off the edge of the embankment and then, after opening the driver’s side window, lit the vehicle on fire using a lighter bearing his own initials, Crown Attorney Lynne Saunders said reading from the agreed facts in a courtroom filled with the couple’s family and friends.

Two days after the killing, Schwalm gave police a statement and handed over footage from his home’s surveillance system. That footage, he claimed, showed him leaving the home to walk his dog through the neighbourhood the morning Ashley died — he even gave police a map of the route.

When police checked his neighbours’ surveillance cameras, they found nothing to match his story; Schwalm’s footage had been “deliberately manufactured.”

Wearing a grey suit and white button-down shirt, and no tie, Schwalm appeared solemn but composed in the prisoner’s box as he answered Justice Michelle Fuerst’s questions on if he felt any coercion to plead, with his lawyer, Joelle Klein, standing nearby.

Despite pleading to a lesser charge, Schwalm still faces an automatic life sentence with Fuerst set to decide when he will first be eligible to apply for parole, from 10 to 25 years. The sentencing hearing is Sept. 26. (Schwalm will have no guarantee of parole upon his first eligibility date, nor ever.)

Schwalm was a captain with the Brampton Fire and Emergency Services until he was charged with first-degree murder.

The prosecutor gave a detailed account of the couple’s troubled marriage, which started 10 years earlier in a lavish wedding ceremony beside the ski slopes at Craigleith Ski Club, one of several private clubs in the Town of the Blue Mountains, near Collingwood on the shores of southern Georgian Bay.

In early 2022, Ashley was involved in an extra-marital affair with her then-boss. The Schwalms decided they wanted to work to repair the relationship and sought counselling. But by Christmas that year, fissures appeared, the prosecutor said. James told his mother he wasn’t sure they could make it work and Ashley informed her family she was thinking of ending the relationship, sending her sister a message quoting the lyric “all out of love,” by the band Air Supply.

James was also “nurturing” a relationship with the ex-wife of the man with whom Ashley had the affair, and days before killing her, told the woman he’d developed feelings, which she reciprocated. On Jan. 21, 2023, Schwalm told the other woman he was resolved “to do what would make him happy regardless of Ashley still wanting to make their marriage work,” the Crown attorney said.

Sometime the night of Jan. 25, their son heard his parents arguing and when he opened his bedroom door, he saw his mother and father in the upstairs hallway. Ashley asked her son to get her cellphone for her so that she could call police. He retrieved it and gave it to his mom, but then his dad told him to return to bed, Saunders said.

“Sometime later, he opened his bedroom door and saw James Schwalm crying in the area of the mudroom which connects the house to the garage,” and heard his father ask the house’s virtual assistant, “What time is it, Alexa?” to the reply, 3 a.m. Also that day, their daughter told a teacher that she had a bad night because her parents fought and she heard her mother fall down the stairs, Saunders said.

Surveillance video captured some of Schwalm’s movements that cold, dark morning, including footage showing a figure carrying a large backpack running from the area of the crash towards the Craigleith ski lodge parking lot where he had parked his mother’s car.

Just after 6 a.m. on Jan. 26, fire crews responded to a 911 call and extinguished a blaze. They found a badly burned body in the front passenger side of the vehicle.

After determining the deceased was Ashley, police interviewed Schwalm who shared bogus text messages and video clips in an attempt to deflect suspicion away from him. He said Ashley had left home early that morning to go hiking up at the ski hill — a departure from her usual hiking routine.

But it didn’t work, and Ontario Provincial Police investigators from the Collingwood detachment started digging.

On Feb. 3, 2023, they announced Schwalm had been charged with second-degree murder and indignity to a dead body. The charges were later upgraded to first-degree murder.

A post-mortem examination determined Ashley’s cause of death was neck compression not related to the crash, and that she was dead before the fire.

STORMY WEATHER REFLECTIONS

Only once, in all of our holiday travels, have I been scared. 

We had arrived in Mazatlán, Sinaloa, Mexico, and in the middle of our first night and for the entire second day, an unexpected storm causing a flash flood ensued. We were hunkered down in our room, completely blindsided and pretty much gobsmacked at what was swirling around us.

By the time the sun rose, the pools at our large resort were overflowing, the roads in and out of the 1000+ room hotel were washed out. We were officially stranded.

This, in a lot of ways, is how both my travel buddy hubby and I have felt the last five weeks since his accident. And what we did then, is what we are doing now. 

Grabbing on for dear life, keeping the other safe, inserting a ton of humour into the situation; while exploring everything as much as we possibly can.

Rhondi Rule #506: When caught in stormy weather
... Just go with it!

Top Photo: The night before the storm hit
TAKEN: November 27th, 2019

Lower Photo: Just hubby and me on the beach !!
(Mid afternoon during the storm)
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 28th, 2019

My personal struggle in both situations, is that I have an extreme fear of the unknown. As a result, in my current state I am not sleeping as I should because my mind simply won't shut off. To compound things, I work from home, and my husband is housebound here as well. 

The truth of the matter is that we are both going stir crazy. Only being able to access two of our three floors, our living quarters are close. So, today on my lunch break, we began watching travel videos on YouTube. Not because there will be any travel in our future but because we are of the mindset that we will never say never.

On a more comical positive front, this morning we both laughed a hearty belly laugh as I cracked my first joke with regards to our situation at hand. I know we will be A-OK, because he also laughed then commented...

'Here we go', he said.  Already starting with the stroke jokes!!'

#yagottalaughaboutit

BORINGLY NORMAL NO LONGER

As the saying goes, life as we know it can change in a heartbeat. And in the last month, my travel buddy hubby and I are living proof that one day life can be boringly normal and in a nanosecond, it can be anything but.

Nothing prepares you for a life altering change. At one moment, my husband was kissing me goodbye on an early morning. 

Then, before we knew it, we were waiting for confirmation when he would be air lifted to St. Michael’s Hospital trauma unit. 

He moved, and once he arrived, he had emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding, and by 1am the following morn, we knew the left leg would be saved and we were ready to boldly face the next hurdle. 

With his severely irregular heart arrhythmia challenges and no ability to administer those drugs with the brain bleeding still on the table; the worst fear was he’d have a stroke

Sunday led to Monday, and good progress had us out of the trauma unit the following Thursday, with him moved into a room. 

We had been nine days in the trauma trenches and survived, when early morning call came the following morning.

“During the night (at approximately 3am on May 31st) Mr. Peacock suffered a stroke.” The stroke team neurologist shared. 

“A blood clot left his heart and travelled to his brain. His right side and speech have been affected,” she continued. Not even remotely prepared to hear the words, I went numb. Again, we were back together, with me witnessing he was both physically and mentally spent.

Just a little over a month since our 'boringly normal life changed', we couldn't help but reflect this morning on the fact that tonight we were to be at Soldier Field in Chicago with 70,000 other Kenny Chesney fans to enjoy his Sun Goes Down Tour.

Thought we aren't in Chicago, we decided to blow the doors off and tour the local grocery store circuit together. 

We did a solid double header (in reference to the fact that we had tickets for Wrigley Field yesterday). 

First up was Food Basics, then we opened the sunroof and cruised to the other side of town to hit Wal-Mart. Radio blaring, no pups to worry about, we were hitting our semi-normal stride.

Kenny vs. Recovery. 
Thumbs up says it all!
Left - (c) Kenny Chesney Instagram
Right - TAKEN: June 15th, 2024

Because I am listening to Kenny live on #noshoesnation on Sirius as I type, I am sharing where our seats would have been for the concert tonight with a yellow dot on the left. 

Impressive, but it is the photo on the right that truly makes my heart swell with joy, as he is officially out and about and ultimately on the right side of the soil.

That said, Lord knows if that sexy cart he was navigating today was a four-wheeler, he probably would have immediately rolled it in the produce section... taking out all of the organic tomatoes!

Too soon?

#yagottalaughaboutit

U IS FOR UNFORGETABLE

 

My view (flying home) of where we stayed
in South Beach, Miami. Amazing!
TAKEN: APRIL 14th, 2018

In all our unforgettable travel adventures, there are only three destinations that we’ve returned to a second time. South Beach and Miami, the French Quarter of New Orleans, and the Bahamas. 

Our first trip to Miami was a birthday trek, the second was also for that celebration but we only landed in the city to grab a car and drive to Key West. Because we stayed over the day before we flew home, it makes the list.

Our first trip to New Orleans was for French QuarterFest, where 750 thousand people cram in for a long weekend of amazing music and fun. The second occasion was to take our daughter there to celebrate her birthday. (I have personal friends that live there, so I am sure it shall see us again.)

The first time we experienced the Bahamas, it was a killer Black Friday resort deal on Cable Beach that I booked for a little more than eight hundred bucks each. This last trip, renting a house and having the pool and beach to ourselves – hit the wallet considerably harder. 

My husband and I talk often of what it will be like when our age and probably our health restricts us from moving around as freely as we do. It isn’t something we dwell on, but we know that once we officially retire, the disposable income I save on a weekly basis simply won’t be there as readily as it is now.

Anyway, when we arrived back home earlier this month, I logged in my One Drive dedicated to protecting all our photos and videos. As I double clicked into the folder labelled ‘travel spending’, I opened the excel file that logs all our dates and destinations.

Since February of 2012, we have travelled twenty-nine times; Chicago in June will be our thirtieth.

Here’s hoping that there will be at least thirty more!

R IS FOR REMINDERS

Jukebox showing off the very first car he owned!
TAKEN DECEMBER 1994

It seems lately, my husband and I are having more conversations with friends and family about financially helping our grown children in the here and now, rather than them having to wait to inherit the little bit that may be left after we pass.

I have written here before that as a young couple that transitioned into a young family, my father never gave us money. Instead, he would come across the street and say, "I bought six bags of milk today and only need two." Then proceed to put the other four into our fridge. His style of tithing is one we have whole heartedly adopted.

We prepare freezer meals all winter and deliver them to their homes, I buy sundries on sale (TP, paper towel, dryer sheets, laundry soap etc.) and keep them in storage at the house. In turn, I ask about once a month what they are in need of. I know our gestures are truly appreciated, just as my dad's were.

In fact, being long past the need to exchange gifts at Christmas, we spent a thousand dollars in grocery store gift cards for the boys. Because as well all know, right now in Canada, the most expensive vehicle to drive is a grocery cart - and we figured it would help them through the winter.

All of the above are reminders of the need to help at home first.

I wish that wasn't the case but in this post pandemic financial climate - it seems to be the very harsh reality.