H IS FOR HEMMINGWAY HOUSE

As we approach the first anniversary of my best friend Smarties' death, I can't help but focus on our last phone call. 

He loved Earnest Hemmingway's writing and made me make him two promises before we told each other we loved each other and hung up that very last time:

1) That I'd go to Hemmingway House before I left Key West (and)

2) That I would read EH's offering titled Africa; as it was his personal favourite.

I did go to the home/museum the very next day, and it was an amazing step back in time.

From the approximately sixty six toed cats (descendants of his originals) that the estate caters to, to the luxurious inground pool that cost $20,000 to construct in 1938, to the wide offering of historic Hollywood memorabilia on display; I was in awe. 

Once again, Smartie was right. I needed to go. 

Not only was it $9.00 very well spent, I can always look back at my photos of that day and hear his voice kicking my ass to reassure him that I would go.

With regards to the book. I haven't read it yet.

... But I have promised myself I eventually will. When I'm ready.

One of the six toed cats at the ticket booth.
TAKEN: APRIL 8th, 2022

Only so many were allowed in at one time.
As you can see, there are cats everywhere.
TAKEN: APRIL 8th, 2022

I didn't pay to tour with a guide. I started by walking the grounds.
Yes, there is a pet cemetery for his cats.
TAKEN: APRIL 8th, 2022

A portrait in one of the many rooms displaying memorabilia.
TAKEN: APRIL 8th, 2022

Some rooms are dedicated to his specific offering and the history behind it.
TAKEN: APRIL 8th, 2022

I found his writing studio the most interesting. 
TAKEN: APRIL 8th, 2022

A statue of him in a park in Mallory Square (with other famous settlers)
TAKEN: APRIL 7th, 2022

G IS FOR GRANDPARENTS

 

Seen here with my dads parents, my truly amazing grandparents.

My Mommy knit my sweater. I LOVED that purple thing.
This photo confirms that I was clearly born to be a Prince fan!
TAKEN: Spring 1973

I was born in a very small town, just across the Ontario border, in western Quebec. 

It was a small pulp and paper town, where the majority of my extended family grew up. More importantly, it was where both sets of my parents parents lived only a few miles apart.

I had a great childhood. With such vivid memories imbedded in my head before we moved to Ontario. Oh the wonderful memories I have of 222 2nd Avenue.

Spending time in the lane with my Pepere as chickadees landed on his hat and then he ultimately had them eating from his hand. Him teaching me to stepdance as he played from a fiddle he had in fact crafted himself. 

And that my Memere, always let me stand by her side at the stove explaining her process for what she was making. Her letting me shake the flour mixture to help her make gravy stands out the most. 

So much so,  that every time I watch my mother-in-law embrace the same process, my childhood in that kitchen comes rushing back to me.

Let's face it. I know those things may read as simple, but their love was heartfelt and I think they are one of the reasons that I have never had issue showing affection as an adult. 

I suppose there is a possibility they were just pacifying a gregarious kid - but if that was the case, they never let on. 

And for that... I have always been truly grateful.

F IS FOR FRIENDSHIPS

There are a lot of people that have opinions about social media. Some embrace it too freely, while others wear a tin foil hat to ward of the evil of it. I guess you could say that I fall somewhere in between.

Anyway, back in July 2007 I connected via Facebook with one of my oldest brothers' best friends. 

Though growing up I was nothing other than the annoying little sister, as adults, I was happy to find someone that effectively wrote for a purpose and shared their thoughts with the masses just as I do.

It didn't stop there, I loved experiencing the travelling he and his wife did together, and each year I looked forward to his annual Christmas countdown of song offerings on his saxophone. 

Once his countdown started, I found myself logging on from my desk at work to see if he'd posted yet. Such great fun.

Then, via Facebook, I saw he and his bride were heading to his old stomping ground (where I still live) for the weekend for our Fire and Ice Festival this past January. Trouble was my hubby and I were headed into the city for the concert in Toronto that Saturday night. 

After a quick exchange, I was excited to discover that they would be in town the night before and wanted to get together for drinks. I hadn't seen him face to face since my fathers funeral in 2005 (and only knew what his wife looked like via Facebook).

Anyway, that Friday, he kept me posted on their timing. They'd eat dinner with friends in the centre of town and we'd plan to meet at a local pub later in the evening. Goob lives just down the street, so I invited him to come meet his uncle J's childhood friend.  

My husband (in red) really didn't know what to think of this group of extroverts!
TAKEN: JANUARY 27th, 2023

Well, suffice it to say, we closed the place. Walked them to their hotel, then walked ourselves home.

In this instance, though social media reunited electronic friends and turned them into new friends. Our evening confirmed that face to face friendships are the best ones to appreciate. 

#MyTwoCents

E IS FOR EXCHANGE

Editorial cartoon from the Toronto Star that is even more applicable in today's economy.
JANUARY 24th, 2016

 

After our roadtrip/beach house adventure to the Outer Banks with the pups last fall, I started grabbing US$'s from the Royal Bank ATM whenever I thought of it. 

You know, twenty bucks this week, forty bucks the next. Not because I want to be carrying a lot of cash around when travelling, but on our last trip I noticed the steep premium I was paying to use my credit card out of country. It was an eye opener that pushed the limits to the budget we had set because we used the card for everything.

So, when I selected Las Vegas as my next passport stamp, I knew cash would probably be the way to go, hence the Andrew Jackson currency hording that's been happening.

Then, when packing the weekend before takeoff, I said to my husband 'maybe we should save the cash, and use the card' (as we have an anniversary trip booked in June where American cash will be King). 

To explain my methodology, not using the card is kind of a double edge sword for us. We pay our credit card off every two weeks and use it for absolutely everything, including household bills. In turn, with the mountain of points we earn, we redeem them every quarter and it's like found money we apply to our balance.

Anyway, that thought quickly passed when he returned with our next couple of twenties for our piggy bank stash and I discovered we'd paid $1.40930 Canadian for a single American dollar. 

At $1.40930 for a buck, I only have one last comment. Thank goodness for the secure hotel safe. 

In their wee safe space, those twenty dollar bills will blanket our passports better than us fattening the already fat fee fellas at credit card company hands down!

D IS FOR DECISION

Well, a killer Black Friday deal made my birthday trip decision a no brainer this year. With the intention of only ever going once, I landed in Las Vegas today.

For just over six hundred dollars each, a suite with an Eiffel Tower view overlooking the Bellagio fountains was the purchase, and for the second year in a row I have Air Canada to thanks for a crazy amazing birthday deal.

Landed about 2p.m. today and home Saturday evening about 10p.m., we have a fun fill trip planned. 

Heading to TopGolf this afternoon, Cirque du Soleil Beatles ONE at the Mirage tomorrow night, renting a Slingshot to head to Red Rock Canyon and the Hoover Dam Thursday, then Freemont Street for the day Friday.

Lots to talk about and some great pics to share the rest of the month for certain.

Another 'Happy Birthday Trip' but more importantly another passport stamp for yours truly.

Feeling very blessed, as life is good!

Photo courtesy of booking.com

C IS FOR CANDID

A couple of weeks ago I saw this meme floating around the social media platforms and it truly resonated. It was just a picture titled the truth in me, so I must assume the author is unknown.

I have no desire to fit in.

No plans to walk with the crowds.

I have my own mind, heart and soul.

I am me and it has taken me years to realize how important that is.

No matter who you are, you can't be more candid that that. Life is simply too short to worry about what others think; and I don't.

Now when it comes to my dogs? That's another story.

The truth is my goal in life is to always be the person my dogs already think I am!

Big day. Taking Miya Maria to meet her new sister Katie Lulu.
TAKEN: JANUARY 23rd, 2023

B IS FOR BONFIRE

I have written here several times in the past about the simple fact that I love a great bonfire, as have all of our pups. 

From a very young age, we seriously train our dogs to respect the burning fire with a key word they grow up understanding, which is the word 'danger!'

The word is used in such a tone, when combined with their name, they return to my side immediately. 

So, as expected, we are well on our way to training our new addition; little Katie (who was born December 5th, 2022 - arriving to us January 31, 2023).

This little Blondie is as sharp as a tack and as loveable as a teddy bear.
TAKEN: MARCH 3, 2023

With winter breaking into spring, on the last Friday in March, when I finished work at 4pm then wandered outside and built a killer bonfire. 

Goob came over for dinner and to sip a bevie or two. We watched the sun go down outside and embraced the start of the weekend by listening to our favourite tunes, while basking by the glow of a bonfire.

With full bellies, a cold cooler and a warm fire, I ended up sharing with David that I expect to be working remotely 100% of the time once the lakes open. I told him that I figured I will move my home office out to the cottage as soon as we can put the water on. 

With Katie being born last December, she will be almost six months old when she discovers a couple of very important things about cottage life. 

That when enjoying a bonfire in the off season, there may not be any snow but there will be mosquitos. 

She will learn that just like the other pups, she will be provided her own lawn chair so that she doesn't have to sit on the damp ground at night but her belly will still get bitten.

Oh, and though cottage food may taste better than what is served at the house, the calamine lotion I will be putting on her belly to stop the 'skeeter itch' does not!!

A IS FOR ASHLEY

May my beautiful friend and coworker forever rest in peace.
(Beautiful photo from her LinkedIn profile)

It was the last Friday afternoon of this past January. 

My boss and I had just finished our end of day call, when he empathetically said, “I have some news to share.” Then, after a long pause he said, “Ashley was killed in a car accident early yesterday morning.”

In that moment, it was like I had been punched in the throat. My mind began swirling, and I was in a complete state of disbelief. This girl had the most amazing energy and sense of kindness, I instantly fell into a general state of shock.

Fast forward from that Friday night to Sunday morning. I couldn’t find any information online, other than there had in fact been a vehicular fatality in that area the morning I was told she passed. 

So, by mid-Sunday morning I reached out to a coworker to go fishing for facts. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I wanted to confirm that there hadn’t been some sort of bizarre misunderstanding. She quickly confirmed it was in fact her that had died.

Flash to the next Tuesday, when the rumblings shift to the chatter that her husband was being investigated for foul play in her death. In that moment, all I could do was be angry at the potential small town gossip.

Low and behold he was formally charged that Friday with second degree murder and indignity to a dead body and is being held without bail. 

His charges were then formally upgraded to first degree murder on February 17th, 2023.

Though I want to be angry at the person accused of taking her life, he doesn't deserve any space in my mind. That said, I can’t help but focus my empathy and worry to their two young children, both under the age of ten. Still processing all of this, it is so sad that they lost both of their parents that day. 

Not that I am anyone special in the big scheme of all of this, I am just one of many that is extremely grateful to have been able to call Ashley Schwalm my friend. I will always miss my former coworker dearly.

Rest in peace my beloved Schwalmster. 

Because if there is one thing you deserve, it's to forever sleep easy. 

OUR ANNUAL ADVENTURE

If my memory serves me correctly, Family Day became a statutory holiday in Ontario in 2008, and I remember those first few years of chilly Monday celebrations fondly.

We’d load up the mini van and go glow in the dark mini putting, five or ten-pin bowling, snow tubbing or tobogganing if weather permitted. As a family, we would always decide how we would spend the day, and officially vote on what we would have for our evening family meal.

Then, as life happens, the celebration of the mid-winter day saw the kids grown and gone and our nest completely empty. 

It was at that point we transitioned the conventional holiday into ‘Family Furbaby Day’ (FFD). The one paid holiday, where I would get up and make the pups a great breakfast, before we’d head outside by noon for an adventure that was totally dedicated to them having fun.

Since its inception, we have taken FFD pics of our special day all over Muskoka. We've never really decided what we are going to do until that weekend, but we both have always known where our focus would land... On them!

My hubby taming 'The Oreo Gang (Version 2)' with a treat.
TAKEN: FEBRUARY 19th, 2022

This year, because our newest addition was so tiny and had no hair on her belly, we decided to simply head to the cottage, hike our plowed road, and keep up top at the cottage not to wear her out. 

As a precaution for the wee one, I jimmy-rigged a backpack that I would put on my front so she could see the big dogs in action and stay warm at the same time. Turns out, she’s a true Rockstar and kept up nicely with her little legs.

Anyway, I posted the photo I am sharing on another social platform today disclosing the following:

In Ontario, today is truly dedicated to work/life balance.

Personally, I only discovered the meaning of the phrase once my husband had to have life altering surgery and wasn't expected to live. 

I hope everyone embraced today as we did. 

#lifeisshort #lovewhatyoudo #happyfamilyday

Embrace it we did...

Turkey bacon all around at breakfast, then zoom-zoom down all the backroads with the windows open for all the smells, and great treats once on the trail. 

What else can I say, other than our twelve paws and four legs loved being outdoors together on a beautiful Muskoka Monday.

Enjoying a really spectacular day.

NEVER, UNTIL NOW!

As I shared here last summer, never, have I ever, rushed to replace a pup out of sheer emotion. And though I know you can’t ever replace a dog, when my Puddin’ died of cancer last June, our deep friendship and her beautiful characteristics left a void like no other I have ever experienced. 

With my heart ache not subsiding, about three months after Puddin’ crossed the rainbow bridge, I reached out to our amazing CKC registered breeder that we purchased Miya Maria from - asking her to put me ‘on the list’ for a yellow female should her beloved Minnie have one.

I will be honest, she only breeds one litter a year, so our expectations where that we would have a wait. Then, on December 5^th, I got the call. 

Minnie had in fact had a litter of nine and there were two yellow females available. Now, you may think that we could have passed and waited a couple of years, but that is where this gets truly heart wrenching. 

There had been complications in the night with Minnie’s delivery that included a trip to the emergency vet, the delivery of the nine babes, and a full hysterectomy for our mama: rendering her sterile.

If we wanted the same lineage and an extension of Miya, this would be our only opportunity. My husband and I both immediately agreed, without hesitation, we were buying another dog!

Allow me to introduce the newest member of our puppy pack - KATIE
TAKEN: JANUARY 21st, 2023

When visiting our new girl again yesterday, we were told owners like ourselves had intended to purchase, but for reasons unknown to us have decided against. That said, because our breeder really does only work on a referral basis, I offered to get the word out as there are still a couple of these beauties available.

Now, I caution carefully. You should only reach out if you're looking to have the most amazing pet experience imaginable and for your heart to be filled with puppy love for years to come. 

I can attest first hand that with my husbands health woes last year, Miya truly changed his outlook and for the first time in all the dogs we've had, he has that magical connection I had with Toby, Puddin', and continue to have with my ten year old Annie. 

If you think this is something that may interest you. You can send me a personal message, or hop over to Facebook and check out Labradorables and message Leslie directly. 

Better yet, here's a link: Leslie @ Labradorables 

I promise, you won't be disappointed. 

Oh, and be sure to let her know that the wonderful Katie Lulu sent you!

MUSINGS BY THE BONFIRE

My wee Miya Maria and me... Musing beneath the trees.
TAKEN: December 29th, 2022

Well, it appears I have once again survived 'Blue Monday'. 

Though I'm sure some men might consider Blue Monday what follows the weekend if they didn't get laid, but I am referring to the Monday that is identified world wide as 'the most depressing day of the year.' 

The exact day is calculated by assessing weather (W), post-holiday debt (d), time since Christmas (T), failing New Year's resolutions (Q), low motivation (M), and a lack of decisive action (Na). This year, it was Monday January 16th.

For fun, here is my current assessment and reflection of their criteria:

Weather – The weather man is the only dude that can do his job wrong 100% of the time and not get fired.

Post-Holiday Debt – Don’t have any. Hard to go into debt when all you do is put up the same lights, decorate the tree the same every year, and only purchase heart felt gifts for three loves.

Time Since Christmas – This one has a reverse effect for me. I cringe when they start pushing me at Hallowe’en to 'deck the stinkin' halls'.

Failing New Year’s Resolution -  Didn’t make one. I set goals I want to accomplish but never make resolutions

Low Motivation -  This one did tick a box or two this year. Unnecessary and immature drama prior to breaking for the holidays tainted my time off. There were lots of tears. I realize now it was my own fault for allowing it to bother me. It’s over now, and I was feeling great prior to January 16th .

Lack of Decisive Action: Not with this cat. Booked and paid for my birthday trip  to Vegas on Black Friday, paid off the car more than a year early, and continually remove toxic people from my life. If there is one thing I am – it is extremely decisive!

As an aside, for me this milestone day doesn't register in the same way it may with others. I find it important to acknowledge because it signifies the end of my season affective cocoon (aka: time change coma) and is the beacon of light at the end of the tunnel which leads me to spring. Coles notes, it means the shortest day of they year has passed and the longest day with sunlight is on the way.

As I look at the photo I am sharing, I love that I captured such a great moment. Sitting by the fire, Miya waiting for the next snowball to be thrown, with music filling our yard. It was truly a great day.

Sitting there sipping, I remember in the moment turning to my husband and raising my Yeti. "Let’s face it," I said. 

"It is on days like these that I am convinced that wine was invented because God just wanted all of us to be happy!"

As we both chuckled at my spontaneity, I leaned over and clinked his can, then I continued as I always do. "Ya gotta laugh about it," I said. 

Ya just always gotta laugh about it! 

...Take THAT Blue Monday!!

LETTER WRITING MEMORIES

I got a call on January 4th from my oldest brother, as we'd missed connecting over the holidays.  

When my phone rang, my husband gently cautioned that if I answered, we would probably chat for hours. I acknowledged his comment with a nod, then picked up. I went to bed when my phone died, at 2am.

Through our long-winded catchup, he asked about any old negatives I may have in my possession (pre 35mm film) of photos my mother would have taken. On a mission, the next day I went through all the boxes in my cold storage space under our front entry stairs.

Up to my home office went boxes and bags of photos and negatives, as well as a hodgepodge of items I hadn’t looked at since we moved into our current home in 2002. I did find what he was asking about. I also found a series of handwritten letters from a girlfriend that were decades old. 

Holy time warp Batman. When I began reading the letters, it's like I had been transported in a time machine. I had forgotten my college sidekick and I had stayed in touch for as long as we had. 

With none of her letters dated nor having a return address, I know I had three children and she and her husband were hoping to try for their first; my only other clue are the 43 cent stamps.

Naturally curious, I headed to the internet to see what she’d been up to. My first issue was all of her letters were signed with only her first name. Though I knew her maiden name, I couldn’t for the life of me remember her married name.

Hours and hours later, and primarily seeking out obituary notices, I managed to find her. Not her specifically, but a website where she'd appeared on the ‘sunshine list’ in Peel Region.

The next piece was I remembered I had a photo of us. (I find it amazing that I have had the photo I am sharing tucked away in a photo album since it was taken.) There were six of us that travelled from Hamilton to Kitchener for the weekend to celebrate Oktoberfest, including the festive parade. 

If my memory serves me correctly, it was the fella whose family hosted us that took our picture. And I remember her saying  in the that moment, "we have to get a picture of us together." This was it.

I am going out on a limb here but judging by the look on my face, my guess is we were having a blast by indulging in a wee bit of alkohol spirituosen and polka party fun.

That said... I would have to double check my German with Google translator to be sure!

Us celebrating Oktoberfest in Kitchener with one of her letters as the background
TAKEN: OCTOBER 1984

TWENTY REASONS WHY

My husband went back to work yesterday, so I will be flying solo around the house until Friday night. 

It goes without saying that sitting around all day was out of the question, so my first self assigned task was to productively purge my clothing dressers, closets, and totes; you read that right, plural.

What started a three-pile exercise (out to the cottage, neatly bagged for donation, and the third for disposal) resulted in a day that proved to be cathartic as well as seriously eye opening. So much so that it genuinely resulted in me motivating myself for change. 

Long term readers may remember it was ten years ago on this exact day that I decided I was going to get back in shape, and the ‘quest for my waist' began. 

I hadn’t been through menopause back then, so I suspect my results a decade later will take an altered approach, not to mention considerably more work. 

As a goal-oriented person, I knew I would need a way to focus. So, my personal target is to wear this wee ditty around the pool, for my birthday trip to Las Vegas in April.

These beautiful colours were last worn by me in Miami in 2018.
 I am truly hoping to end our five year hiatus!
TAKEN: JANUARY 4th, 2023

Now before you start rolling your eyes, know that I am not doing this out of vanity. 

Rather you should know that I am truly uncomfortable in my skin and need to make a change. Purging my clothes just gave me the motivation I needed. This over weight just simply must go!

...Now, I’m not talking 200 pounds. 

I am looking to lose the extra twenty pounds that have slowly crept back and are comfortably squatting on the midsection of my body. No matter what I do, those suckers seem to want to stay indefinitely. 

I'm not joking. They are stuck to me as comfortably as Jeffrey Dahmer was living in his grandmothers' basement,  and today I decided that was no longer an option.

How serious am I? 

When I finished my chores, I hung her up in my dressing room next to my mirror, where I will see here every time I enter the room to get dressed. As extra reinforcement, I have taped a picture of her on the front of the fridge. 

Oh, and just to be clear. This isn't a 2023 resolution. It is a much needed personal solution using a colourful (albeit memorable) two piece object as a healthy reminder of my task at hand. 

Wish me luck!

REMEMBERING 2022

I don’t know about you, but I am happy to shut the door on the past year and look to the coming year with a genuine amount of hope and sincere optimism. 

Personally, it has felt like I have been in mourning for the majority of the year. I didn’t write nearly as much as I had hoped because my heart was absolutely aching with both hurt and despair. Trust me, in spite of my mantra, it hasn't been something I would ever be able to laugh about.

Professionally, after taking the last three months of 2022 off to help my husband heal from a life saving surgery, I started the year with a new career challenge that has proven to be an excellent move for me. As I look toward retirement, I love that I am mentoring and team building with an amazing group of young, very upwardly mobile, professionals. 

With the past year in the rearview, I have great hope for 2023. All the best in the coming year everyone. Cheers, and thanks once again for reading. 

~ Rhondi

PS: For the first time, for my annual 'remembering' post, as I reminisce electronically, you can click links to journal offerings that you may have missed.

PSS: Enjoy!

Most significant moment (centre): The sudden passing of my closest friend and confidant, Brian ‘Smartie’ Smart. Who left us Easter weekend 2022. I am truly heartbroken, and the loss of his presence will be missed forever.

January: A snapshot from the desk of my new job. A refreshing challenge I have loved, to which I said to my boss on our last conversation before the holiday break, "look what you and I have accomplished in our first year. I can't wait to see where we land after our second!" 

(Link: Leapin' Life Balance)

February: Knowing my wonderful Puddin' was living on borrowed time, my husband and I spent Family Day (aka: Family Furbaby Day) at the cottage with 'The Oreo Gang' . It was the beginning of the end of an era. 

(Link: The Oreo Gang)

March: As the carpool picked up Goob to head to work in Port Cariling, the glow of the sunrise lit up the car. I got out of the car to capture this moment. We enjoyed a beautiful month of March.

April: For the first time since November 2019 we were able to travel. We flew into Miami then took a roadtrip to Key West. Smartie called me to wish me a Happy Birthday, and made me promise to go to the Hemmingway house, which I did the very next day. We talked for an hour, said our always call ending 'I love you and I love you too'. He was dead a week later. 

(Link: S is for Smartie)

May: The month saw the beginning of house as well as cottage renovations. Both took until the end of November to complete. Much more to do in 2023.

June: My beautiful Puddin' succumbed to her cancer. She was my very best furbaby friend. Our Annie was so affected by the loss that we had to stop saying her name. My life just isn't the same without her.

July: I surprised my husband with a road trip to the town of Bethel (where the Woodstock Festival was held in 1969) and then through the Catskill Mountains to the town of Woodstock New York for his birthday. For music lovers like us, it was both a moving and Bucket List experience.

August: We had a heat wave that was crazy off the charts producing extreme heat warnings. It was so hot, that we were in the water more than out. We felt like kids again! 

(Link: My Happy Hat)

September: They say everything comes in threes, and I had three that were major for me personally. First Smartie, then Puddin', then lastly my beautiful Auntie Cai. I credit a lot of who I am today to her and her life guidance. I miss her very much and always will. 

(Link: In her memory ~ Sweet Dreams of Cairo)

October: Our third roadtrip had us take our pups on a more than two thousand mile round trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We rented a house that slept twelve on the ocean that was perfect. If you've never been.... GO!

(Link: Outer Banks Paw Patrol)

November: Yours truly celebrated a personal milestone with the 11th Anniversary of my wee electronic journal. In hindsight, maybe I should have named it 'Silly Story Central!?!' #yagottalaughaboutit 

(Link: Eleven Years Young)

December: A photo just can't illustrate the amount of snowfall we received in Muskoka that began the evening of December 23rd. So much so, that the massive dumping felt like we should have been placed in a State of Emergency. The photo in my collage was day two of four that were brutal. 

Link: Our Great Neighbourhood)

OUR GREAT NEIGHBOURHOOD

Our motto: If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way.
TAKEN: DECEMBER 26th, 2022

 Well, we woke up this Boxing Day morn and it was still snowing. 

Thank goodness my father-in-law lives only two streets away, and our record breaking ‘Snowmageddon’ stopped long enough that our family gathering wasn’t cancelled last minute; because he was very close to calling it off.

Filled with great food and good cheer, we headed to bed just after midnight, with the general intention that we would sleep in. Well, the holiday Gods and our canine cohorts had other plans for us.

With little motivation and the pups primed to play, I focused on preparing a fresh pot of coffee. My man then settled downstairs to watch curling and I in the living room tackling a jigsaw puzzle. All I can say is that I knew after three days straight of snow removal, I did NOT want to shovel today!

Anyway, as I have acknowledged here before, we live in a sleepy little town where everything is a fifteen-minute walk and a five-minute drive. We’ve owned our home and lived at this same address for more than twenty years. 

Though we tend to be somewhat private people, we live in an amazing neighbourhood of likeminded peeps that embrace a true sense of community.

When my husband was medically bound to use a walker last fall, it was my neighbour to the left (whose home you see above) that arrived from work on a Friday night and immediately fired up his gas-powered leaf blower on steroids to give a gal a hand to ensure our end of season cleanup could be completed. 

So, knowing we were experiencing record breaking snow fall levels, my husband announced we would repay his good will. Not because it would be expected... but more for these eight little words. 

Would you want to come home to that? 

Happy Holidays everyone - and remember to always pay it forward. Because a small gesture from you, could make the world of difference to someone else.

#thatisall

MY GOOGLE de MILO

I planned our most recent road trip to the Outer Banks using only Google Maps, AirBnB and Hotels.com; and I was generally surprised at how much effort and research it actually took.

Suffice it to say, my husband was so disconnected from the party planning process that his only action item was to type the address of where we were spending our first night into the GPS the morning we left. That said, our ten-day trip, like all our adventures was a whirlwind. 

The first day was a very long one, especially for my Annie and her anxiety. So much so, that by the time we pulled into the parking lot in the Hampton Inn in Hagerstown Maryland, she bolted out of the car. Good thing we’d finally arrived... Because she was NOT getting back in!!

Next day we travelled to where we anchored with food and fixings at our house in Nags Head North Carolina.  The pups settled in much better there, and their first trip along the ocean beach was truly a sight to see. Definitely worth the headache of taking longer to arrive than it would have, had we left them at home. 

The one thing I will admit is that because we could only get the house within our budget for four nights, I decided to extend our coastal stay by heading up to Ocean City (via the 28.4km Chesapeake bridge and tunnels) for that Friday night and then heading to Mansfield Pennsylvania the next morning. 

In hindsight, this was a tad too ambitious and far more costly than originally expected. Changing our original intent almost doubled the cost of our trip, and that path saw us hit with a whopping $400+ for the only pet friendly room I could find on the interstate; on a Saturday night. 

Our only saving grace was that the pups were so exhausted from their ‘Outer Banks Shenanigans’ that they literally slept those two days home - allowing us to zoom zoom north and stop less frequently.

Once home, my husband was having trouble visualizing the trip I had planned, and what geography we'd actually covered. So, I poured us a glass of wine and we sat down at my home office computer.

With all of my receipts containing proper addresses, I produced this killer 'Google de Milo' map offering him a visual, which perfectly illustrated the many more than two thousand miles we travelled.

What a ride!

If travel is truly art, then my Google deMilo road map proves it!
TAKEN: OCTOBER 2022

HOLIDAY BONFIRE REALITY

Hoping to repeat this vibe during our week off over the 2022 holiday break.
TAKEN: DECEMBER 28th, 2014

We loaded up the pups and trekked into the cottage this morning. 

It felt like a clear crisp day in late October, rather than the below zero temps you would expect this time of year. Though I always love walking the property, in this instance I had a list of items I wanted to get down the hill before we (hopefully) venture in for the last week of 2022. 

A more powerful heater, an extra tank of propane, a couple of jigsaw puzzles I have yet to tackle, extra fuzzy socks and such all made the journey. Best of all, the dozen or so ‘new to me’ DVD’s we have yet to experience; that I scored at the Habitat store for a buck. 

I should share, it's not like we are heading into Siberia. Fully winterized, even without electric baseboard heaters, we can do well below freezing very comfortably. 

The key to 'closed cottage' enjoyment is to barrier off the lower sleeping quarters (the windows are blocked by the upper level decks and get no UV help) so our woodstove can keep the main living area and our second floor toasty.  

As I look to my two week break I am sure everything will be fine. Simply because I can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year. 

I've gone to another amazing level career wise, had several unexpected life changing experiences, yet suffered such heartbreak that I am not sure how I got out of bed in the morning... The key is I did!

All of that said, here's the deal. Though I hope I will enjoy a holiday bonfire at my cottage at the end of December, if I don't, it won't matter. 

...Because I will just have an killer one, that is illegal non-complaint, at the house in town!

#yagottalaughaboutit

A SIMPLE HOLIDAY SHIFT

When we took our road trip to the Outer Banks for Canadian Thanksgiving, during those couple of thousand miles in the car, we mutually decided we would not be celebrating the holidays this year. Or, at least not as we had in the past.

Initially, it was because we had planned to take a full two weeks off together and disappear with the dogs for another beach house experience farther down the coast.

Then, when my company decided to close the last week of this year and the first week of the new, our idea of hitting the open road went out the window; with me being off the second week alone.

The good news?

We discovered we would only have one week together early enough, that we could ensure the cottage be stocked and ready to head in and stay during what time we did have off together. A ritual we haven’t been able to enjoy together since late December 2014.

Heading down the hill (Pre-4wheeler) with provisions to ring in the New Year.
TAKEN: DECEMBER 27th, 2014

The biggest inconvenience associated with enjoying our cottage space when it has been closed down is drawing, hauling, and boiling water out of the lake. That said, with enough split wood, the wood stove does all the work heating the water for the dishes as well as keeping us very toasty and cozy. 

I have to admit, there is something to be said for the place smelling of great food that isn't grilled outside, not to mention the serenity of no one else around as we sit around the glow of an outdoor bonfire with the music cranked on a cold night. Which is probably why we've never listed it for sale. It brings out the best in both of us. 

Anyway, for the very first time since becoming parents, we are establishing a 'zero gift giving zone'. I have put up a beautiful natural tree as well as my exterior lights but that is it. I guess you can say there has been a seasonal shift.

A shift because, after the last couple of years we have had, and the deep losses we have felt this year alone, we believe the true gifts are of time and love - and they will always be the two most important things we could ever hope for.

Time and unconditional love....  

The perfect gifts which will NEVER appear on your credit card statement, nor have any type of buyer’s remorse attached!

SMARTIE MEMORIES IN NOVEMBER

Smartie getting a driving lesson from his grandson.
TAKEN: AUGUST 27th, 2021

I am sitting at my home office desk and a wave of varying emotion just hit. 

It is 3:52pm and gloomier than usual outside.

I can hear the wind howling and my phone is buzzing with severe weather warnings and the radio's been boasting cancelations all afternoon. All of it reminding me what the next few weeks will offer, which is absolutely nothing special.

As my hump day workday ends, my mind began to wonder. Tomorrow is Thursday. And as I have each week since that terrible day last April, I realized that I won’t be getting my weekly call from Smartie tomorrow; or ever again.

I remember the day we met. It was in April of 2004 and we hit it out of the park from the get-go. Both working in manufacturing, we stayed on straight evenings so that we could save big dollars on daycare. An eighteen year friendship, that ended with his death on almost the same day in April that it started.

That said, as I type, it’s like I am stuck. Whenever I mention him to others in passing, I instantly tear up. Which is immediately followed by an apology disclosing, “I just can’t seem to get over his death.”

I feel a true emptiness, and all these months later his absence is still raw. Each time I get try to process why, I wonder if it could be because I wasn’t offered proper closure. 

Because, for obvious reasons, I wasn’t invited to his intimate private service. 

I could make excuses, but the truth of the matter is that I disliked his wife in high school and absolutely detested her by the time their marriage ended. Not looking to expand on why, other than to say he was my friend, and she was not. Either way, he’s gone and I truly miss him.

As I stop typing and glance out the window, I see the snow is now blowing on a 45 degree angle. 

I guess I should get my ass into the kitchen, get some grub going, and feed the pups while we still have hydro.

Once again, thanks for listening to me blather.

A SERIOUS DRY SPELL

No matter what they look like, or where they are found, they're all truly appreciated.
(On the left, never used. The right, death by dishwasher.)
Left TAKEN: NOVEMBER 15th, 2021
Right TAKEN: NOVEMBER 19th, 2022

As you know, the term 'dry spell' usually references a type of drought (weather wise or even sexually). You know, a drawn out period of sorts.  So it is with great angst that I post that I am still recovering from my very own dry spell. 

Neither of which I just referenced, yet one ten times more serious, personally. I'm not joking. Can you believe that I just went a span of three hundred and seventy days (that's 3-7-0) without finding any of my beloved Petro Canada glasses? 

So, now that I am somewhat rehydrated and on the road to recovery, I am alerting the freaking electronic journal masses!

As I began to write today, I tried to remember when it was, after my dad died, that my husband found my very first glass. I know it was a loner, and it was from a Habitat Restore in an adjacent town. I would bet money that is was the spring of 2007.

I'm not exaggerating when I share that I remember how excited I was when he text me a photo with the caption 'look what I just found'. Also, that it was in that moment I realized if there was one, there had to be more; and my great journey began.

I could say I am embarrassed, yet I am in fact quite proud to admit that I have acquired glasses as far south as Toronto and as far north as North Bay. I am also proud to disclose that I have accumulated more than two hundred of these gems. All specifically the water goblet as shown above.

I need to go back and label all the post I have written so they appear when I am reflecting like I am today and go searching. That said, one of the most painful posts that reads light hearted, was posted Boxing Day 2014. 

Though not specifically shared in the post, our immediate family was estranged from our daughter. All because her mentally abusive and controlling boyfriend made her pick between him and her family, and we drew the short straw. 

A truly terrible time all around, I wrote 'Had A Drink With My Dad' about how I envision my day would have been spent, had my dad still been alive to spend the holidays with us. 

On that note, I guess you could say if it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes... A really strong readership and killer group of kickass Facebook friends, who've helped this cat collect some silly and outdated glasses for the purpose of being stored in bubble wrap.

So, thank you. All of you are a part of my ongoing journey.

ELEVEN YEARS YOUNG

Happy Eleventh Anniversary to US!
TAKEN: 1976

 

Allow me to share a photo my mother took of me outside our home in Muskoka when I was eleven years old. Oh to be able to celebrate being eleven years old again. 

Wait... We can. Because today is the eleventh anniversary of my wee electronic journal Ya Gotta Laugh About It. 

If you are reading this, I am both pleased and grateful to report that you are helping me celebrate my nine hundredth and seventy fourth effort since I began this ride on this day back in 2011.

Can you believe it? Eleven. Freakin'. Years!

All these years later, I am honest when I admit that the offerings I have posted are truly a part of me. Yet, I'm not quite sure what made me realize my anniversary was looming. Very in tune with my seasonal affective disorder, I'd probably put gobs of cash on the time change. 

As you know, the darkness of the month of November and into December have always had me crawling into the closet, throwing a blanket over my head, with a bowl of warm gravy and a spoon; specifically, so the dogs would join me. 

Some of the funniest items written had tears steaming down my face. Not of joy, but because in most cases I was processing a deep hurt and moving forward. For those that know me personally  (rather than just words from a keyboard that you're reading) you know that humour has always been my go to attitude in deflecting hurt.

That said, these eleven years have produced so much great dialogue, not to mention life changing friendships. 

I am grateful for all of you that have inboxed me with your comments, opinions, as well as your unconditional support and feedback over the years. It's truly been a cathartic experience arriving at today

To each and every one of you peeps... A very heartfelt THANKS!

Happy 11th anniversary to us!!

TWO YEARS NEXT WEEK

Discovering the beautiful resort beach on our first night in Mazatlán Sinaloa
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2019

It’s that time of year again, where the clocks fall back, and I fall into a six week struggle to stay awake during the day and get a good sleep at night. As a result, my day in my home office starts a half hour early, so I can tour around the Trip Central website; dreaming I will find a February deal.

It is hard to believe it has been exactly two years next week since I snapped the pic I am sharing. 

Less than three months after this photo was taken, we were both so ill it was mind blowing, with nothing but speculation as to why. Then, in March of 2020 lockdown began. 

Well, for the second time in less than two years, we both spent the last three weeks getting over what we suspected we had nineteen months previously. Except this time around we could test ourselves to confirm what in January 2020 we could not. 

On the mend with days getting shorter, once again we rally to finish out the cottage season and close it down. The final five boards will be attached to the new deck Saturday morning and Sunday morning we will shut water off and head up the hill.

Every year I hope we will get to hike and haul everything in for a couple of nights over Christmas, but that hasn't happened since the extremely mild December of 2014 - so the expectation it will happen is low - yet my fingers are crossed.

The upcoming 2023 presents a big milestone wedding anniversary in June for us which we began discussing on our drive to and from the Outer Banks. But prices are just too extreme at this juncture to make any decisions. 

Though we've always set a certain amount of money aside every week to travel, with uncertainty in the economy and costs where there are now, I can't see us crossing the pond nor taking an Alaskan cruise (which has my husbands' vote).

Instead, I imagine I will keep dreaming of finding a great travel deal, then hire an excavator to put a new driveway in at the cottage... and together he and I will properly rebuild those shitty fifty-five stairs and associated landings.

Happy Anniversary to us!

OUTER BANKS PAW PATROL

Miya waiting patiently, as my Annie checks out who is on their way to the beach.
TAKEN: OCTOBER 13th, 2022

My hubby, fur-babies n' me, traveled thousands of miles to the Outer Banks of North Carolina the week of Canadian Thanksgiving. 

Of the hundreds of photos I snapped, for so many reasons, the one I am sharing is a favourite.

Extremely candid and a tad dark and stormy, this is us embracing our last morning before heading toward the Chesapeake Bay crossing to Ocean City Maryland on our way back to Canada.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, that I don’t think we are conventional travelers. When neither of our sons could stay with the girls in October, we immediately planned something where the pups could come with, which presented its own challenges. 

Not only is it difficult to find pet friendly hotels along the interstate where you need them, it is very expensive to travel with four legged companions; but in the end, well worth it.

Yes, we rented a large oceanfront house for just us and the girls. It is what we could afford and we loved it. We would return in a heartbeat.

When I listen to some talk of their experiences, it’s always in a tone of how much it cost, or how exclusive it was. We don’t worry about either – simply ask ourselves one question – does it work out best for us without breaking the bank?!

Mid life has taught us both that we are in competition with no one.  We have no desire to play games and lead people to believe we are better than anyone else. Our personal philosophies are simple. We wake up every morning and try to be good people. 

That said, embracing that mindset has had some take advantage of the both of us. 

Though my husband is quick to point out the obvious, I generally choose to help where we can, in turn expecting respect.  For me personally, it took me a lot of years to understand that in order to fully embrace my own self-worth, I needed to let go of those that didn’t value me.

As a hard working goal oriented person, some of those shifts in life have been the most wide awakening journeys of all.

...But that is definitely another post.

SOME GENERAL (LABOUR) HUMOUR

What a great weekend to rebuild a deck. 
(Pleased to report I didn't get yelled at, not even when I told him he was wrong!)
TAKEN: OCTOBER 23, 2022

When we bought the cottage some twenty years ago, we had no idea how much work and expense would accompany the purchase. 

Granted, we didn’t pay a million bucks for the thing, but once you make your payments, keep the heat and lights on, pay the insurance and taxes, there was never thousand dollar bills lying around. 

Though the building is structurally sound, for the last few summers exterior deck boards were replaced when we knew that what we really needed to do was tear down them off, level and rebuild them. We redid our main living area section last spring, and today we tackled the lakeside deck off the kitchen.

Now, the first thing I will say is that neither of us had any ambition for our task at hand, and we admitted that to the other heading into the cottage early yesterday morning. 

As we pulled in the driveway, we acknowledged we'd probably need a wheelchair to get to work Monday morn, and I had only one request of my husband which was simply…. “Please don’t yell at me.” 

That said, I think we work really well together as a team. I feel I am an above average general labourer and can wield a hammer, cordless drill, measuring tape and level as good as the next helper. 

All well and good there, but when we team up, my site foreman tends to have a specific issue with me. 

You see, I am forever questioning his math. Partially because the rule of thumb is that you should measure twice and cut once, and my crew chief tends to measure once and cuss twice; I mean cut twice.

Informed by the boss we had just the right amount of material for this weekends project, double checking measurements began right out of the gate and we never had a single mishap. He never raised his voice or per the norm, never told me to ‘go to hell,’ not even once.

After six hours of layout and levelling yesterday and five hours of hard assembly labour today, all that is left to do is screw nail the top deck boards in place. 

As he naps and I type, I will admit that I always try to learn from every project we do together. 

This weekend I learned that a 4” ardox nail is not your friend if you don’t have a framing hammer, and moving forward, maybe I should be the one that doing the material takeoffs.

Not because I want to - but the boss man was five deck boards short, and we ran out of nails.

Ah, the power of this keyboard as he sleeps.... 

He’s not going to know he is truly entitled to tell me to ‘go to hell’ unless he actually reads this!!

Ya Gotta Laugh About It