WHATCHA TALKIN’ BOUT WILLIS

Well, it’s official. Today marks the first day of Autumn.

Though I am quick to admit that it’s my favourite season, I loathe what the last six weeks of my fave represent. Shorter days, longer shadows, ending with the grand finale labelled the shortest day of the year. As I embrace the trees glowing in beautiful colour, I truly have to prepare myself mentally for going to (and arriving home from) work in the dark.

To make matters worse, this year marks the earliest I have ever started using my happy lights. Not by months or anything, but when you obsessively track total daylight hours, a week can feel like an eternity; added on to your already light deprived sentence. As of today, it will take all my waking energy to keep me upbeat until I get on my plane into the sun at the end of November.

Whatcha talkin' bout Willis...!
TAKEN: August 6, 2014

Seasonal Affective Disorder whining aside, I wanted to share that I noticed this morning that my move into town is taking its toll on the pups. More specifically, Puddin’.

Just as the change in daylight affects me, her lack of cottage freedom is seriously effecting her. 

When it comes to being at the house, she needs to be tied 100% of the time. Yes, it’s true. This beautiful pups pic is posted on the 'Most Wanted' bulletin board at our local bi-law office. Not because she’s violent or aggressive, just a tad too vocal and enthusiastic when people pass our house; hence why she instinctively knows her gig is up.

As I got myself ready for work before daylight this morning, I noticed her sprawled out on the love seat at the end of my bed. She was lethargic and didn't even bother to lift her head when I tried to cheer her up. As I wandered back into my ensuite, I couldn't help but acknowledge her aloud... "Suck it up, Buttercup," I said.

"... There's absolutely NO money in the budget for you to go into therapy too!"

YA GOTTA LAUGH ABOUT IT.

PROOF IS IN THE PUDDIN’

As you know, today’s the first day of spring. So, with the blinds open before 8am and the sun beaming in, my day got off to an earlier than normal Sunday morning start. With the side & back yards becoming the place where world famous mud pies could be made, I knew that I needed to wash the floors. An expected dog maintenance task that will happen a couple of times a week until things dry up.

Puddin' rocking the downtown Bracebridge drive!
TAKEN: MARCH 20th, 2016

Shortly after noon, with my chores complete, I needed to run a couple of errands. Because my husband didn't want to miss out on the fun, we decided to take the dogs. He drove and I managed the behaviour of my three pups in the back seat. 

We are currently looking to replace our Ford Explorer that we sold, so if you can envision two adults and three larger than average sized dogs in my wee Mazda 6... It’s pretty hilarious.

How funny? Today I noticed with everyone out and about, that they had a general expression of joy in their faces as we passed; walkers, runners and even riders. As the dogs hung out the windows of my glamourized upholstered skateboard, total strangers instantly felt a 'spring has sprung' connection. Some waved, some yelled hello, most just simply grinned from ear to ear as we passed them by.

I don't know about you but I absolutely love when spring is in the air. For me, it’s like a switch gets flipped. Each and every year I brace myself to get hammered by the time change, then a week later I pack up my happy lights and tuck them away until the fall. As silly as it sounds, the natural light that spring provides me is right up there with really great sex.

...It’s simply euphoric.

MY BONFIRE BEAUTY

This past Monday morning, the local radio station asked for people to call or post with what their personal telltale sign is that Spring is on it's way. A segment later, the morning guy announced that one fella posted he knows it's Spring because the roads are wet. Then, he immediately followed with a report of a lady posting that she knows it's Spring because her cat gets hyper.

As I prepared to turn on my hair dryer, I stopped in my tracks and burst out laughing. My quick change in demeanor got the attention of my three pups (that were occupying the powder room with me). I looked at them and joked..."Hey, you're looking at a woman with needs here. My cat gets hyper every Spring too!"

How do I get Dottie to pose?
Chicken wieners work every time!
TAKEN: MARCH 5th, 2016

For what it's worth, the dogs didn't think it quite as funny as yours truly and they couldn't figure out why the hell I was laughing hysterically so early in the morn.

Truth is, it was a stellar Monday morning moment after a truly amazing weekend. The weather kept me outside and it was mild enough to have a backyard bonfire late Saturday afternoon.

I love a great bonfire and so do my pups. With Dot aging quickly, I find myself picking certain activities that she enjoys just in case she gets called up to serve as a lifetime memory sooner than later. As you know, all dogs go to heaven, so I know she'll have no shortage to keep her herding instincts keen... Truthfully, it's us I'm really worried about.

As our Saturday afternoon festivities progressed, I posted to Twitter and sent a photo to my favourite electronic friend. It showed her bundled up in her blanket, on her very own Muskoka chair, to keep her  hips off the cold ground and basking our attention. Just look at that face, how could you not want to go out of your way and spoil that girl? Exactly!

As you can tell, more than usual, I will be capturing and hording memories...

After all, that's what we do with those we cherish and unconditionally love... Isn't it? 

BITCHES OVER BRUSSELS SPROUTS

Sometimes, the best laid plans never work out the way they're supposed to. As you can imagine, I’d had a couple of options for spending this past weekend but at the end of it all, I figured the right thing to do was to hunker down and close the cottage. Well, yesterday it poured rain here all day, so I ended up lounging in some very ugly jammies, eating junk food and watching the boob tube for 99.9% of the day.

I have no idea why I am making it sound like I am the least bit surprised. Every fall there’s always an adjustment when we move home from the cottage. Anyway, as I was curled up in my chair all day yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice how the “art of squirreling” has been refined at the house this fall. Adding another dog to the mix makes the anticipation of a visit and the actual act of being on high alert much more entertaining. As Dot winds down, it feels like Annie is working overtime to pick up the slack. It’s really very interesting to watch the family of three that we have living in our trees, tease three pups we keep living in our home. 

I realize that this is Dot’s last hurrah. Matter a fact, I am grateful that I snapped this pic of the three of them watching their squirrel friends on the trees right outside the window. As you can see, the timing of my picture was perfect.

Larry, Mo & Curly... I mean Dot, Annie & Puddin'
TAKEN: OCTOBER 24th, 2015

Why? Because the rest of the day, Puddin’ just sat there staring at me wondering when my four time an hour encore (every fifteen minutes like clockwork) of chips and dip would yet again appear. Sad part about that statement is that we took a big chunk out of a strawberry-rubarb pie and tub of vanilla ice cream too. Isn't it odd junk food gives us that false jolt from funk to fab?!

As the four of us girlz spent today bloated and cranky, I find it amazing how my funk/false fab yesterday was the perfect segue for my Facebook blog page post earlier today. It read: I put my scale in the bathroom corner today… and that’s where that bitch will stay until she apologizes!

What can I say...Yesterday, for the first time in a very long time, us four bitches definitely did NOT unconditionally choose a salad!

...Ya Gotta Laugh About It

LUNCHTIME MARKET RESEARCH...

Initially, with rain in the forecast, I was all set to head into town last night and work from home this morning. Then, around supper time, I realized that Mother Nature was going to pull out all the stops and make it another good one. So she was a no-brainer for this cat; I was going to be getting it done from the cottage today.

LUNCHTIME MARKET RESEARCH... IN MOTION!!
TAKEN: JULY 13th, 2015

Working from here isn’t without its challenges. 

Because I have to tether to my phone to gain access to the internet (which is where I spend the bulk of my billable hours) I have to rise before dawn and make the most of my location and lulls in my Muskoka bandwidth.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it can be frustrating when you’re working with my tight deadlines. I don’t know about you but I absolutely hate being late. Matter a fact I pride myself on not being late, hence the frustration when my mobile hotspot gets bitchy.

Challenges or not, I’m always very conscious of the sheer privilege I have working from here. Not just because I love that it’s somewhat unconventional but because I know my husband’s sweating his ass off doing physical labour in the heat. He says he doesn’t mind but I think he’s just that good a person that he doesn’t mention there could possibly be the slightest stitch of envy. 

I am the busiest I have been personally since the summer of 2013. I’m not opposed to working at this level, I guess you could say that I am conditioned to it. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I wasn’t working this much. Wait a minute, that’s a lie. I’d find the time to get a much needed pedicure, I’d go to a salon to get my roots touched up (instead of doing it myself at midnight) and I’d start to golf again. 

None of those three will be happening anytime soon but they feed nicely into my goal oriented mentality. If you don't set them, you can't achieve them! I will say that as I was relaxing in the water at lunch today (completing some very important market research) my husband called to say he’d forgotten his bottled water. Out of sheer respect, two things happened. I never mentioned that I was in the lake, nor that I was secretly fantasizing about a glorious pedicure. 

Instead, immediately after our call ended, I hauled my ass back up to the cottage to make sure I had everything I need to prepare his dinner. Can’t have my lad dehydrated and starving now can I?

Glad we agree!

I CAN'T BEARwear IT ANYMORE

Have you ever heard the story about the man that was absolutely and unequivocally in love with his favourite shirt? You know the one, where he gets so attached that he actually beams when he wears it? So much so,  that when his buddies ask... “Did you just get laid?” He automatically and very proudly boasts... “Nah, it’s the shirt!”

Now you're up to speed on me and my relationship with my Muskoka Bear Wear hats. Those puppies (no pun intended) have been everywhere with me. The pic I am sharing today is one I tweeted last November. It was my fave and it saved me from a sunstroke while on vacation in the Caribbean.

It's not only protected me from nasty UV rays, it's shot amazing rounds of golf, fashionably saved me from embarrassment when I didn’t have time to colour my roots, not to mention the fit WAS so gosh darn comfy!

The BEFORE & AFTER of my favourite hat.
TAKEN: NOVEMBER 2014 & JUNE 2015

That’s right, past tense. No point in crying over spilled milk, or in this instance a favourite hat that has been decimated.

When I first found the brim of my beloved chapeau chewed to shit, I was upset. Then, I calmed down and realized the obvious. Though a larger in stature flat coat retriever, Annie is still just a very young pup. A toddler, for lack of a better reference.

As I watched my hat get carried around the yard (seems she’s become as attached to that sucker as I was) I had to laugh. The only difference between how she & a real toddler would play with my hat is that the child would simply gum it to a slow death. I'd have thrown it into the dishwasher and been no worse for the wear.

When it comes to Annie, I'll be picking up pieces of pink until the snow flies!

Serves me right for being the 'Crazy Dog Lady'….!

Q IS FOR QUESTIONABLE

I’m the first person to put my hands up and admit that I’m not the sharpest tack in the box. That said, I suppose I am grateful that Sharp Tack Quality Control Department let me slip into their proverbial box for being 'just sharp enough'. Hell, I'm no rocket scientist, so I’ll accept whatever grades those white coat quality peeps are handin' out!!

What do I know?
My fur babies don't even listen to me!
TAKEN: MARCH 31, 2015

Giggles aside, for the first time since I started this electronic journal, the one thing I have refused to discuss, have been the months of painfully questionable distance placed between my daughter and myself. All I will say is that based on difficult choices, hard lines were drawn & maintained.

It's only recently that she has made the personal choice (outside of us) to come home. It's only now, that I can tearfully admit that it was my husband and my sons that carried me though all those very difficult months.

Truth? I wasn't silent because I wanted to be,  I was silent because I needed to be. For her: so she could go to the next level in her life without my noise. My heart knew she needed to have this specific life experience, no matter what the outcome.

I'm not gonna lie. The evolution of the relationship I have with my children isn't unlike what I have discovered works within my marriage, which is probably why I have learned to compartmentalize so well. Simply put, I came to the realization that a breath saved, makes the world of difference... in the long run.

Could that be why I write? So that I will always have a voice that is truly my own?

QUESTIONABLE!

B IS FOR BRAT

When on holiday in the Dominican Republic last November, a friend posted the cutest picture on her Facebook of a litter of puppies she was giving away. Six months later, what I now consider to be a lapse of temporary insanity, I sent her a personal message asking for details. Less than a week after landing back in Canada, the stork delivered Annie.

Annie watching Pudd & Dot run the golf course.
TAKEN: MARCH 15th, 2014

I'm not kidding, since I started writing this post, I've had to stop and tell her to get the hell out of mischief 3 times. Each time, I've mumbled to word BRAT under my breath. 

Having said that, I'm not sure if it's because she's had the other pups to mentor her but she has been the least destructive puppy we've ever raised. No shoes have seen their death, and our furniture has remained completely in tact this time around. The added bonus is that for being a bitch, she knows to play nicely with other dogs.  Other than her intense curiosity for mischief, she really is a very good girl. 

Hey... Who the heck else does that remind you of?!  

Maybe my letter B should have simply been for BUSTED!!

MEET MY BUDDY BROCK

It was another sunny day in Muskoka today but yesterday was the brightest day that I’d experienced in a very long time. I was in the middle of a conference call when a knock came to the door. When the receptionist opened it to let me know that there was someone to see me, I was elated to see my buddy Brock. He knew by my reaction and how tightly I hugged him, that I'd suffered a really long winter of not hearing what he had to say to me face to face. 

Folks... Meet my buddy Brock Napier!
Photo (c) Muskoka News Watch ~ All Rights Reserved

I don’t expect 99.999% of you to know who the heck I am talking about (let alone recognize him) but rest assured when I boast that he has steadfastly been philanthropic within our small community and within the District of Muskoka. 

He’s donated millions of dollars and personally raised millions more in an effort to keep our current infrastructure solid and self-sustaining. It’s not only the hospitals and local charities that have received support; he and his wife donated the land, as well as spearheaded the fundraising to build our state of the art OSPCA. They truly are... amazing people.

Friends with the both of them since 2010, it was my love for my dogs that had us stay in touch after they’d renovated their cottage. Brock would bring his four pups by to see me at work when he was in town, which would ultimately always lead to a parking lot chat about the state of our economy.

Yesterday, once we finished saying hello, I immediately invited him in. I pulled him up a chair so he could openly share in our Team call. When we headed outside so I could say hello to Wendel and the girls, he took it upon himself to say he was impressed at what's been built in a very short period of time. “You certainly have a lot going on,” he commented. “I am happy for you...” he said. I humbly thanked him.

I feel truly blessed that he is my friend. His respect means a lot to me.

I do know one thing for sure,  I’ll never too busy for Brock. My only complaint may be that though he has a brilliant Business mind, he has a great big fat hairy thorn in his butt for the evolution of technology. I kid you not, he doesn't own a computer, which challenges my most comfortable method of communication. Wondering how I'll share this post with him? I'll print it off and I will FAX him.

Seriously... Who sends a fax anymore? I do.... Exclusively, to my buddy Brock!

DREAMBOAT ANNIE ~ ROCK STAR!

Well, it’s that time of year again. When everyone breaks for Christmas and I start obsessing about the weather. Not in an 'I'm Dreaming of White Christmas' kind of way, matter a fact the opposite. You see, though purchased in 1999 - in 2007 we started a fun cottage tradition.  We’d pack up the toboggans, strap on the snowshoes, and head into Orillia Lake for a few days to ring in the New Year. 

Puddin' showing Annie the view. PRICELESS!
TAKEN: DECEMBER 21st, 2014

I’ll gently remind everyone that New Years Eve 2013 dipped to a chilly -21C outside, so our cottage trek was not even remotely an option. The year previous, we were in South Carolina. So suffice is to say that I've had my fingers, toes, as well as my eyes crossed since the beginning of December!

Optimistic that it's going to actually happen this year, I headed in with the pups yesterday. I was a tad worried how itty bitty Annie would make out but figured worst case scenario, I'd have to pick her up and carry her. Not even close. She was a compete and total ROCK STAR. That said, I have Shelly to thank that her little legs didn't have near the expected trek to travel.

You see, I was pleasantly surprised and exceptionally fortunate that my BCF (Best Cottage Friend) has kept our private cottage road open. When I saw her brand spankin' new truck parked at the top of our first hill I was thrilled. (Not gonna lie, that truck keeping our road open just may rate sexier than she and I scooting around the Lake on her three-seater SeaDoo!) 

Anyway, as my title infers, yesterday was my dreamboat Annie's very first cottage adventure. She's doing well. Just like me, she's very open minded and curious about trying new things. Yesterday, I especially loved watching how the other two pups made sure she was safe at all times. They have truly embraced her and are always scurrying to make sure she's okay and content. After all, that's what best cottage girlfriends are for right? Right!

Uh-oh, gotta run. Annie is pulling the bows off the presents and the shims out of my crooked Christmas tree. It's not good. Matter a fact I can read the headline now…

Crazy Dog Lady Arrested... As Crooked Tree Pummels Innocent Pup!

Innocent my FAT albeit friggin’ festive ass!