Sunday, November 8, 2015

A 9.5 FROM THE AMERICAN JUDGE

Last week I discovered a very good friend was unexpectedly going through a very tough patch. So, after texting back and forth all week, we hatched a plan to try and make her feel better. In the end, we decided to head out to Orilla Lake; enjoy a bonfire and ultimately howl at the moon.

Well, the good news is that once we arrived and got settled in we never went back outside. The bad news is that because we drained the pump last weekend, we had to draw our Saturday night dish water out of the lake. No big, that’s how things roll out there until we stop going in at Christmas. The difference being, at Christmas we fill all our buckets in the daylight (not after dark when there’s been a light sleet that’s super slicked the stairs and ramp to the dock). Suffice is to say, imagine my surprise when bucket in one hand and cellphone flashlight in the other, I slipped off the ramp and tumbled into the lake.

Getting water this morning via Toby's Rock...NOT the dock!
Taken: November 8th, 2015
Because it was black dark out and I wasn’t sure what I’d hit nor where I’d land, I relaxed and went into the water so I could get my bearings. Problem was, because I was so heavily clothed (and my bucket was filling fast) I wasn’t floating back up. 

When I finally did head to the surface, it was with a fully stretched arm reaching for the moon that was clenching my phone. THAT's what came out of the water first. 

As a person whom when given lemons always tries to make lemonade, I have a couple of important notables I'd like to report from the events of last night:
A) Since purchasing the cottage, I’ve never swan in November before, so that was a first.
B) I’ve never gone off any dock (at that time of night) wearing a stitch of clothing ever; yet another first.
AND...
C) Using international judging rules, the American judge gave me a 9.5 for my dive.

Not a bad score I suppose. Though when I filed an appeal this morn and questioned why I wasn’t awarded the 10 I felt I deserved... The bitch told me it was because my arm was bent when my cell phone came out of the water and that my reach for the moon was lacking the proper creative emotion. 

I guess I should be thankful for the mark and be glad they didn't hear my language. That shit was full of emotion and the one thing I didn't need last night was to be disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct. 

Peeps.... Ya Gotta Laugh About It!