Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Head Down & Mouth Shut? Lucky 4U!

I LOVE where I'm at.... With regards to you?
Never liked you since we met more than 30yrs ago!
Taken: April 27th, 2008
I was scrolling through electronic files the other night when I came across a folder (my then assistant snapped) of pics taken the day we filmed my first commercial.

I don’t remember why I was looking down that day, but five years later this is a perfect self portrait for today.

Five years ago when faced with a day like today I would have easily stood up, roared so loudly that the hair on the back of your neck stood on end, whilst piss uncontrollably filled your pants.

I’m softer now. I tend to internalize more than I ever imagined I ever could. I'm at peace. I’m not conceding, yet proud of the fact.

I am completely aware that there is a calmness in my life that I have never had before. Whether it's because of that online anger management course I aced a couple years back, or just simply the 1-2 midlife/menopause punch I have been dealt; no matter what, I refuse to question or change it.

If I had to provide a tally I'd say there may be five people I have met in my entire life that really know me. Outside those few, there are those that feel they do, which (let's face it) is always a hurdle. Then, there are those that just simply want to stick their nose where it doesn’t belong. Not because they care, but out of habit. It's just who they are!

Well, today was that latter persons lucky day. They need to be extremely grateful that my outlook on life has changed. Though some may see them as "strong" my first thought process is that their smell isn’t everything.

Truth of the matter is they haven't seen strong. Why? Because I know for a fact that I could have easily kicked their sorry fat ass into submission today. Why didn't I do it? Because they are not worth a single ounce of my totally amazing Kung Fu kick ass energy.

I have it under wraps now...Seems I am holding it in reserve. It's just simply how I roll...!