Sunday, September 16, 2012

And The Winner Is? HAPPINESS!

There are only two things in my life that are truly mine and this blog is one of them. As a result, I always try and write something every single day. Some entries are too personal to post and some just simply boast far too many curse words. All of that said, since my blogs inception, only one thing has seen and heard it all.

I’m not proud (and a little ashamed) to admit that my wireless keyboard has literally been to hell and back this past year. There have actually been times that I've had my good buddy on life support.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” someones wise grandmother once said, which truly applies to my poor wee storyteller helper. I have been so hard on this little guy that I could imagine him slipping the wireless mouse a note, asking which day the electronic recycling truck passes, so he could hitch a ride and get the hell outta town!

I suppose I'm feeling sorry for my Microsoft Wireless 800 because last night I heard myself  utter the exact words that have eluded me. “All this time I think I’ve been looking for happiness” I said.

With arms wrapped around me it dawned on me, I am happy. The only difference between then and now are the things that make me happy have evolved and changed.  

Last night I finally realized that being happy doesn’t mean everything has to be perfect. It means that I  promise to see beyond (what I perceive as) imperfections and enjoy life one day at a time.  Close to two years later I've ultimately discovered that happiness is a choice that only I can make for myself.

As I have posted time and again, I had a really great summer. Moving forward, I have ultimately decided to stop trying to be what others think I should be instead making a personal commitment to continue my journey toward exactly who I want to be. I want to be me.

All gibberish aside, I am pleased to report that I just had a heart to heart with my keyboard. He’s relieved to hear the next thing on my list to deal with is the actual activity of downsizing. I am very excited to report that he's committed to me. He's just hoping downsizing will be far less emotional!