Monday, February 20, 2012

"I Miss You"

For those of you that don’t know me very well, I am a list person. My desk at work is filled with colourful Post-it notes of tasks I need to accomplish. Every Saturday & Sunday morning, over my only cup of coffee, I make a list.

My dad Herve wasn’t always a list person but became one after he retired. He approached his tasks a little differently than I but he was a list person just the same.  

I use to ask him... “Dad, when are you going to get around to doing so and so” and his standard reply was always… “Rhondi, I have a list. Everyday I look at my list and pick three things that I want to get done. If something shows up at the top that I don’t want to do, I don't do it. It goes to the bottom... I know it will eventually make its way up to the top again.”

I can hear him speaking the words. I miss him. I miss him every single day, which brings me to this mornings question. Why do we miss someone?

When it comes to my dad, the math is easy. He was my beacon (taught me to golf, ski, & fish). My personal confidant (even though I always knew he liked my husband better). And my life coach (yes maam, I can change a furnace filter with ease and I love to do the yard work). So I guess I’m not really talking about him per say.

There are people I miss on a daily basis. Some are near to me, and some far away from me, but I still miss them. It’s hard to express to someone that you miss them. It’s not an emotion easily verbalized. I suppose that's why I rarely say anything to the person I am missing.

I guess the best practice may be to just acknowledge the void as just that, a dulling pain that can’t be soothed. I'll just close my eyes, think of all the good I have experienced, smile and quietly keep my thoughts of angst to myself.

Now back to my list. Hmmm, what shall I prepare for dinner? I just wrote down chicken.